True Jackson, VP (2008) s02e01 Episode Script

True Jackson VP Was filmed in front Of a live studio audience.
Before I say the magic words, I'm required by law to ask If anybody here is allergic To deadly snake venom.
Can I see a show of hands? He doesn't have a real snake In there, right? I think I heard hissing.
It's either a snake Or someone's frying bacon.
- abracadabra, Alan kazam - Wait.
Did you just say Alan kazam? Yeah, he's my dad's lawyer.
He taught me this trick.
And Lucy? Where are you, girl? Hey, can you keep it down Out there? I'm trying to perform Some magic.
Good morning, class.
It's a beautiful day, isn't it? What's going on, miss park? You seem happy.
I've just come from The big school budget meeting.
Principal ruckman informed us That because of cutbacks, He's eliminating The design program.
- but that's terrible.
- Why are you so happy? He approved funding For a cappuccino machine In the teachers' lounge.
Oh, that's good.
But design is where I learned how to sew.
We've gotta do something.
True, you're a student And this is your school.
If there is something You feel strongly about, It doesn't matter, You're completely powerless.
But there has to be a way To make principal ruckman Change his mind.
Oh, indeed there is.
Just come up with the $6,000 To close the budget gap.
Now, this needs just A sprinkle of shaved chocolate.
Everybody stare straight ahead Until I get back.
- I can fix this.
- Where are you Gonna get $6,000? - don't worry.
I've got a plan.
- Thank you all for being here.
I have a very exciting project To talk to you about.
Kopelman, What are you doing here? This is a kids only meeting, Could you give us, Like, a half an hour? He's confused, true.
Maybe you should try Telling him in a way He'll actually understand.
All right, kopelman, Out! The issue at hand is What kind of show can we put on To raise $6,000? Simple.
I'll do a magic show.
Next order of business.
This is the only order Of business And it's not resolved yet.
No one's gonna pay To watch you do magic tricks.
Oh, really? What if I did this? Imagine how cool It would've been if a bird Just shot out of my sleeve.
Is that your actual act Where you talk about How cool something Would have been? More or less.
Fine, plan b.
We auction off a date with me.
That'll get you 5,800 bucks And we'll just need to come up With the extra 200.
I can't believe I'm saying this, But Ryan's date idea Is the one to beat.
Oh, wait, What about your band, Jimmy? Can they play the fundraiser? - nah, we broke up.
- Really, why? We could never find The time to rehearse.
What with my schedule at work Plus the guys in the band Busy playing shows With another drummer.
Aw, dude, that's rough.
It must've been hard Getting replaced.
Replaced? What do you mean? Just that it sounds like Your band fired you And hired another drummer.
Where do you get that from? What, just because they put His name on the front Of my drum Kit? I gotta go.
When do you want To put on the fundraiser, true? - I'm thinking Saturday afternoon.
- I can't.
I have a lacrosse game.
- okay, how about Sunday? - No, sat prep class.
- tomorrow? - Student council.
- boy, Mikey j.
, You're really busy.
- Tell me about it, I feel like I never see you.
- you're seeing me now.
- That's true.
- okay, gotta go.
- What? Where to? - school band rehearsal.
- I didn't know you were In the school band.
- neither did I.
- Neither did I.
I just joined.
The triangle player got mono And I'm kind of An awesome trianglist.
What about us? Look, I don't want this To sound clingy, But you have to quit So you can spend All your time with me.
I can't quit.
I'm this close to getting a solo At the spring concert.
Look, we'll talk about this Later, okay? - call me tonight? - I can't.
I'm volunteering At my grandpa's nursing home.
Bye.
- how could he be so selfish? - Can we please Get back to the fundraiser? I need something That kids will pay to see, Maybe a fashion show? - snore.
- Or a poetry reading? - double snore.
- Or a concert? Triple actually, A concert would be fun.
I retract my last snore.
Okay, a concert it is.
Now, I just need An amazing musical act To sell $6,000 worth Of tickets in two days.
Shouldn't be too hard, right? Closed-Caption: Thanhluanst Sycn by Hana.
save our design department, Just $10 a ticket.
If you like rock 'n' roll, Hopefully someone Will be playing it Tomorrow night.
- how are ticket sales going? - Not great.
Turns out if you want people To buy a concert ticket, You really need to tell them Who's playing.
Aw, it'll be okay, true.
Your best friend's here to help.
Now, let's start Brainstorming some ideas and Gotta go.
- why? What was that beep? - My alarm.
Mikey j.
Has five minutes Between math and biology.
So we're spending it together.
- okay, say hi for me.
- Are you crazy? I only have five minutes.
I'm not gonna waste it Passing on messages.
Ready? Ready? Now.
You guys, I have a great idea For the spring concert.
Does it involve everyone Wearing funny hats? - how do you know? - Because all of your Suggestions are hat-related.
I like hats, they're fun.
See, this moment Just got 19% more fun, 38%.
- Mikey j.
- Hi, Lulu.
- oh hi, Sophie.
- Hi, Lulu.
- hi, jena.
- Hey, Lulu.
- oh hi, izzy.
- Hey, Lulu.
- I'm not talking to you.
- Why? - because these were supposed To be our five minutes.
- I'm sorry, Lulu.
I just needed To come down to work On this triangle idea I had.
How much time do we have left? - 20 seconds.
- Okay, 20 seconds.
What should we do? I know.
We can count to - 2 - 3.
- Your turn, Lulu.
- 4.
- I'm sorry, Lulu.
- This is terrible.
What am I gonna do? I think I've got something That'll make you feel better.
Better, right? It's just one night, An hour or two tops.
The pay? I gotta crunch the numbers, But it'll be somewhere around Zero dollars.
Hello? - here's your mail, true.
- Jimmy, what's wrong? I just found out Mikey j.
Was right.
My band did replace me.
- aw.
- Really? Who told you? My mom.
She's still managing them.
Could we call her? True still needs a band For tomorrow night.
Lulu.
Actually if I could get That number - you gotta go meet Mikey j.
? - That wasn't my beep.
Sorry, that was me.
I just got a text from my friend Who runs the mailroom Over at drk records.
He's always bragging about Who's recording over there.
- oh, who's there now? - Justin bieber.
Justin bieber?! Jimmy, how close are you With that mailroom guy? Ah, we're pretty tight.
Like, if I'm low On "fragile" stickers, He'll totally hook me up.
Are you guys thinking What I'm thinking? That when Jimmy gets together With his mailroom buddies It's the most boring place On the planet? I'm talking About Justin bieber.
He'd be perfect for my show.
Can your friend Get us in to meet him? No, he doesn't have access To the recording studio.
I can get you guys A tour of the mailroom, though.
They just installed A new galveston sorter.
Man, it's fast.
Krrrrrr! - maybe after we talk Justin Into doing our show.
- Talk to Justin? You heard Jimmy.
How are we gonna get Into the studio? I gotta admit That tour of the mailroom Was pretty compelling.
Yeah, and that Galveston sorter Sure lives up to the hype.
You guys keep it down, He's right here.
whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-ho when I met you, girl my heart went knock knock now them butterflies in my stomach won't stop stop even though it's a struggle love is all we got so we gonna keep keep climbing to the mountaintop your world is my world and my fight is your fight and my breath is your breath when you're hurt I'm not right you're my one love my one heart my one life for sure let me tell you one time girl, I love girl, I love you I'ma tell you one time girl, I love girl, I love you and I'ma be your one guy you'll be my number one girl always making time for you I'ma tell you one time girl, I love girl, I love you I'ma tell you one time girl, I love girl, I love you hey, yeah, you look so deep you know that it humbles me you're by my side them troubles them not trouble me many have called but the chosen is you whatever you want, shawty I'll give it to you your world is my world and my fight is your fight and my breath is your breath when you're hurt I'm not right my one heart my one life for sure let me tell you one time girl, I love girl, I love you I'ma tell you one time girl, I love girl, I love you and I'ma be your one guy you'll be my number one girl always making time for you I'ma tell you one time girl, I love girl, I love you I'ma tell you one time girl, I love girl, I love you shawty right there she's got everything I need and I'ma tell her one time one time give you everything you need down to my last dime she makes me happy I know where I'll be right by your side 'cause she is the one for me yeah, yeah, yeah and girl, I love girl, I love you girl, I love girl, I love you and girl you're my one love my one heart my one life for sure let me tell you one time girl, I love girl, I love you I'ma tell you one time girl, I love girl, I love you and I'ma be your one guy you'll be my number one girl always making time for you I'ma tell you one time girl, I love girl, I love you I'ma tell you one time girl, I love girl, I love you my girl that's the one, Justin.
Oh, and the pizza you ordered Is here.
Pizza? I didn't order a pizza.
- free-a pizza for Mr.
Bieber.
- What kind of accent is that? - italiano, I'm right Off-a the boat from sicilia.
- Why do you need three people To deliver a pizza? And where's the pizza? It's a pretty long Elevator ride.
Something tells me You guys aren't real pizza guys.
You're right, Justin.
We're three High School students Who are really Big fans of yours.
Why didn't you just say so? Yo, crusher, We got a security breach.
Ooh, wait.
We can explain.
Got some heads You want me to squish, boss? It was her idea, Mr.
Crusher, sir.
Okay, we can do this The easy way or the hard way.
Both ways are pretty painful.
Might there be a third option That involves a head start? Wait.
Before anyone's head Gets squished.
Please hear me out.
See, Justin, they're getting rid Of my school's design department And I'm not trying To save the program for me.
I've already got My love for fashion.
I'm doing this for the kid Out there who doesn't know There's a fashion designer Inside of them.
And in order To save the program, We need your help.
- wait, what's your name? - True Jackson.
True, I know What you're talking about With that kid out there Because that kid was me.
- what do you mean? - I took a design class In 8th grade.
And to be honest, I'm all about crochet.
I got this tea cozy, Got this potholder, And even crusher's belt.
Crusher, show 'em.
- wow, you do nice work.
- Thank you.
So what do you say, Justin? Will you play at our fundraiser? Most definitely.
I wouldn't miss it For the world.
- great, it's at 7:00 tomorrow.
- Ryan, what are you doing? - messing with stuff I shouldn't be.
- Well, knock it off.
You could get Somebody electrocuted.
- oh, yeah, Like I can really do that.
- Ohh.
- any chance you got A four-gallon bucket of ice Around here? - here.
- Wait, wait, wait.
What's this? It is my comp list For the show.
I promised The cheerleading squad I'd hook 'em up.
- Ryan, it's a fundraiser.
- Just pay for the tickets Out of my cut.
- there is no cut, It's a fundraiser.
- I hear what you're saying.
I'll just let them In the back door.
- hello? - Yo, true, it's Justin.
- hey, Justin, where are you? - I'm just a few blocks From the school.
Awesome.
I've got great news.
The place is jammed.
We totally made enough To save the department.
- that is great news.
I got some news too.
- Really, what is it? - I'm severely injured.
- Gosh, what happened? Some fool Played with my sound equipment And I was straight up Electrocuted.
But what am I gonna do? Everybody's all ready To see you perform.
- yo, you can do Whatever you want.
- Oh, really, you think? No, I was talking To the ambulance driver.
He was afraid To run the red light, But we've got A wicked loud siren.
Yo! Yo, pull up on the sidewalk.
- all right, Get well soon, Justin.
- Hey, true, Have you seen Mikey j.
? - Lulu, I've got a big problem.
- You think You've got a problem? I was supposed to meet Mikey j.
And I can't find him anywhere.
What if I never see him again? - hey, Lulu.
- Oh, there he is.
Okay, what's yours? - Justin bieber canceled.
- Justin bieber canceled? - What are you gonna do? - I got one idea.
I'm not sure How good it is, though.
For my next trick, I'm gonna need a volunteer.
How about this lovely young lady Up front? - What is your name? - Dana.
I'm in your math class.
Well, let me ask you A question, dana.
Do you like milk? - not really.
- Oh, well, then today Is your lucky day Because I'm about to make This pitcher of milk Vanish! - hey! - Let's make Ryan vanish.
- yeah.
- Oh, come on.
That is one angry crowd.
They are out for blood.
I've got no choice.
I gotta tell everybody the truth And give them back their money.
Not so fast.
They came to see a show And that's what We're gonna give them.
- fire and ice! Whoo! - Let's fire him And bury him in ice! - yeah! - It's a nightmare out there.
They're throwing cabbage.
Who brings cabbage To a fundraiser? - that's it.
The show is canceled.
- But, true, what about The design department? - I guess I couldn't Save it after all.
- Hey, can we be In your talent show? - it's not really A talent show.
- It's more like A no-talent show.
- hey.
- Oh, not you.
You were great.
- so can we be in it? - I don't think so.
There's no telling How the crowd would react To an extended flute solo.
Actually, we play In a rock band on the weekends.
Yeah, we tear it up In my mom's sewing room.
I really appreciate it, But the crowd came to see A big musical group, And no offense, But I don't think Anything you do Could win them over.
- at least let us play One song.
- Yeah, just one.
- what do you think, lu? - It's worth a shot.
Okay, one song.
But at the first sign of danger, I'm coming out to save you.
- let's go, you guys.
We've got a gig.
- Hey, everybody.
Thanks a lot for your patience.
- let's make her a patient.
- Man, that's One prepared heckler.
Okay, who here likes Last-minute scheduling changes? Because you're in luck, Justin bieber couldn't make it.
- boo! - But his loss is our gain, Because we have a great band To play here for you tonight.
So before you start Charging the stage With your torches And your pitchforks, Please, let's put Our hands together for What's your band's name? - care bears on fire.
- Really? I wanted to call us The fun hat bunch, But I got outvoted.
Okay, without further ado, It's my distinct pleasure To introduce you to Care bears on fire.
- boo! - 1, 2, 3, 4.
don't tell me what to do what to wear, what to say don't wanna follow rules gonna do it my way I got a brain I can think for myself don't wanna be like everybody else na na-na-na na-na-na na-na-na don't wanna be like everybody else na na-na-na na-na-na na-na-na don't wanna be like everybody else don't tell me to be quiet to be a good girl wanna see more of this wild wild world don't learn anything sitting at home I wanna be free I want to roam na na-na-na na-na-na na-na-na don't wanna be like everybody else na na-na-na na-na-na na-na-na don't wanna be like everybody else wanna pick up the guitar and start to play bash my drums all night and day I wanna play it loud this ain't no toy I wanna be wild wanna make some noise na na-na-na na-na-na na-na-na don't wanna be like everybody else na na-na-na na-na-na na-na-na don't wanna be like everybody else na na-na-na na-na-na na-na-na don't wanna be like everybody else - we love you! Yeah! - Wait, who's this? - it's Justin, I'm on my way.
- You're supposed to be going to some hospital.
I'll have to go later.
Justin bieber Never misses a show.
Tell my fans I'll be there any second.
- Uh-oh.
- Uh-oh, what? - hey, hey, true.
Um Cool if I park here? - I guess so.
So what did Principal ruckman say When you gave him the money? Well, at first He was disappointed That it wasn't one of those Oversized golf checks.
But once he calmed down, He agreed To keep the design department.
- that's awesome.
- You gotta go meet Mikey j.
? No, I fixed The whole Mikey j.
Situation.
This was a text from my mom Telling me not to chew my hair, Whatever that means.
- how'd you fix The Mikey j situation? - Simple.
We decided that if we want To spend more time together, We have to start Pursuing the same interests.
- triangle duet! - Maybe you could be The promoter For our spring concert.
- sounds great.
- Okay, guys.
If you liked my snake trick, You're gonna love this new one.
- I don't like Your snake trick.
- Technically, It wasn't a trick.
All you did was lose a snake.
Well, check this out.
I don't wanna oversell it, But I'm pretty confident That this is the greatest trick In the history of the world.
Abracadabra, alakazam, I command thee to appear In my hand.
Ohh, Oh my gosh, He's so cute.
- wow, Ryan, how'd you do that? - I can't tell you.
- what, The code of the magician? - No, seriously.
I have no idea how I did this.
I was supposed To pull out a scarf.