Two Sentence Horror Stories (2017) s02e01 Episode Script
Bag Man
[FAN WHIRRING.]
[CLOCK TICKING.]
Woah! Stop that.
It's so annoying.
Oh, Samwise Gamgee, you know I live to annoy you.
- Come here boy.
- Can you please move? - Hey.
- Hey.
They put you in here too? Surprise, surprise.
They did it before.
Clearly they're going to keep doing it.
- Right.
- Hey, did you go to that party? GABBI: Yeah, the one at Cynthia's place.
- What did you think about the party? - Sam, Jax, take your seats.
Gabbi, this is detention, not social hour.
Find another seat farther from your friend.
Principal Gallo, this is an insane mistake.
I shouldn't be here.
And you know I wouldn't do anything like what happened.
Yeah, none of us have anything to do with it.
I don't understand why we're all Do you have any proof that any of us did this I know all of you, you're good kids! Doesn't feel like that's what you're saying.
What you've been saying.
That was something else, Winton.
And I already apologized for thinking that you were involved with that.
Look, I don't want to be here any more than you do.
But somebody's responsible for that cherry bomb in your gym class.
And I heard that one or more of you may have been involved.
All of us? Are you serious? [STUDENTS SPEAKING ANGRILY.]
I don't know who's telling the truth and who's not.
So until the one who is responsible comes forth and is straight with me, you're in detention for the whole weekend.
Mr.
Gallo, this is BS.
Like, my parents are freaking out over something I had nothing to do with.
Your parents? You should see mine.
Seriously, Mr.
Gallo.
Nothing about this is fair.
I know.
When that cherry bomb went off, it panicked everyone.
We all thought it was So then, I triggered the new lockdown technology system.
The alarms went off, scared the whole school.
It sends out these text messages to every parent and every school board member, and they're breathing down my neck.
They want to know what happened.
So help me.
Tell me who did it, and then we can all just go home.
All right, fine.
Hand them over.
- What do you mean by that? - What?! Come on, come on.
Give them to me.
Let's go.
Look, you'll get them back when detention's over.
- This is ridiculous.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
Maybe use this time to think about telling me who did it.
Someone's a snitch, man.
Yo.
Hey, girl.
Hey.
I'd be careful there, Jax.
Why? - She's a cheerleader.
- Yeah.
Which basically means she's got the muscles of a gymnast and can fold you in half.
The wrong way.
Uh, hey.
I'm right here? And my name is Gabbi.
MacArthur.
But you can call me ma'am and [WHISTLES.]
Keep it moving.
Well, what's up with you and the big guy? [SARCASTICALLY.]
Ma'am.
My name's Winton Omawale.
And why do you care, Jax Bender? Oh, I'm just curious.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Okay.
I got this.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Never, nowhere, no chance, no way, no how, absolutely not.
Not in a hundred years.
- Not in a million years? - Not in a billion years.
- Not if it would solve world hunger? - I'd rather jump off a cliff.
Not if we were the last two people left on earth? - Give me an N.
- ALL: N! - Give me an O.
- ALL: O! What does that spell? ALL: No! No? Okay, how about "not today, Satan?" - GABBI: How about "pas de" - Hey, is this someone's bag? I think your phone's vibrating.
- Oh, languages, languages, okay.
- Mm-hmm.
[JAX SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE.]
Which is "I'd love to, just not with you.
" GABBI: Okay, how about "when pigs fly?" JAX: Oh, we're going back to the classics now.
JAX: Okay, well that's the most classic line there is.
It's not me, it's not you, it's me.
[GASPS.]
Whoa! [PANICKED BREATHING.]
Jeez, what is your problem? The bag.
Inside.
It had a face.
A face? [LAUGHS.]
Yeah, nice try bro.
I'm serious.
Look.
It's not funny.
- I'm not trying to be funny.
- Guess what I'm going to do? Not look in that bag because you told me to, just for something stupid to pop out and scare me.
No, respect man.
A prank like that takes planning and foresight.
You guys, I'm not joking.
Gabbi, look at it.
Is big man going to go hide behind your new girlfriend? What is your problem? Fine.
I'll look.
Look.
[SHRIEKS.]
What is it? [LAUGHS.]
Nice.
So stupid.
Hey, hey, what are you? Hey! I know what I saw.
Sure you did.
You calling me a liar, now? [IMITATES PHONE BEEPING.]
Hello? A liar? Okay.
Enough of this stupidity.
[THUD.]
You know there's a new school policy about leaving unattended bags.
- Oh, shut up.
- Oh, Sam Man, you're such a dork! [FAN WHIRRING.]
[CLOCK TICKS.]
Mm, what have we got in here? Jax, sit down.
You're going to get us in trouble.
I'm not doing anything.
Anyhow, how's Gallo going to know? Dang.
This enhanced security game is really interfering with my high school experience.
It's a good thing I can MacGyver it.
[LAUGHS.]
Only a white boy would push his luck while already in detention for screwing up the whole school.
On camera and everything.
- If that were you or me? - We'd be expelled.
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
They have a point.
Y'all are no fun.
I gotta pee.
[DOOR SLAMS.]
Stupid.
Jax is annoying, but He just wants attention.
He's a good guy.
Tsk.
Agree to disagree.
Wait, are you and Jax a thing? Yeah, Zee.
Is Jax your new boyfriend? What? No, I No.
I would never.
Sure.
We're friends, but barely.
[RUSTLING.]
You want to see a head in a bag? I'll give you a head in a bag.
[LOUD GROAN.]
Did y'all hear that? [HEAVY FOOTSTEPS.]
Where's Jax? [DOOR SLAMS.]
This is beyond disappointing.
He said he was going to the bathroom.
We can't help it if he takes off on his own.
You can't leave your bags lying around here, kids! If he comes back here, tell him he's suspended.
Now I've got to call his parents and tell them I don't know where their kid is.
In the meantime I'm locking this door.
[STUDENTS PROTESTING LOUDLY.]
I'm sorry, I'll be back for the rest of detention.
I can't have another kid just ignore everything I say and take off.
Damn.
He seems pissed.
Yeah, well Jax is probably the snitch.
Maybe you are, and [RUSTLING.]
Woah, what the? Why is the bag moving? See? I told you.
Well, I don't know Look, this is just a prank.
No, it's not a prank.
I'm telling you guys I saw a head in there.
[ALL SCREAM.]
- We gotta do something now.
- Woah, woah, woah.
Why is it moving like that? Someone grab it, it's still moving! Shut up! I'll do it.
It's just a stupid Jax prank.
I'll kill him when I see him.
[SCREAMING.]
What, what, what the hell was that? That was that was Jax.
That was Jax? This isn't real.
It's a joke.
This isn't real.
It's a joke.
[MUFFLED ARGUING.]
This isn't real.
It's a joke.
[MUFFLED ARGUING.]
This isn't real.
It's a joke.
[MUFFLED ARGUING.]
This isn't real.
It's a joke.
This isn't real.
It's a joke.
This isn't real.
[MUFFLED ARGUING.]
Stop it! Stop it! This isn't real! It's just a joke! Jax is doing this.
He has to be.
This isn't real.
It's a joke.
Sam.
Sam.
[ALL SCREAM.]
[SPLATTERING.]
- WINTON: Sam.
- GABBI: Oh, my God.
[PANICKED SCREAMS.]
Help! [PANICKED SCREAMS.]
Oh, my God! There's gotta be something! Guys, look around! We gotta get outta here now! Zee! Zee! Go, go! Hi, Mrs.
Bender.
It's Bob Gallo.
Look, I'm calling with some awkward information.
Zee, help us! Zee, what are you doing?! Get something for the door! Zee! We can't stay here.
Mr.
Gallo is going to come in.
And that thing is going to jump him and kill him.
And kill us.
This is all my fault.
It's not your fault, Zee Jax and I are the ones who lit the cherry bomb.
I was mad at Winton, because I thought you two were dating.
Jax just wanted to cheer me up.
He could be a good guy.
When Gallo called me into his office, he told me he thought Jax did it.
But Jax said he saw you two set off the cherry bomb, and that I was with him, and I'd back him up.
I didn't sell you two out.
Not really.
But the lockdown made everyone freak out.
It was such a big deal, and Gallo started talking about automatic expulsion.
I panicked and said I didn't know for sure.
Gallo could tell I was lying.
I'm so, so sorry.
I had no idea you liked me.
It doesn't matter now.
Wait, how did Sam get pulled into this? Jax thought Sam would be the wildcard.
Plus, like he said, he lives to annoy him.
[SIGHS.]
[LAUGHS.]
Lived to annoy him.
Oh, man.
[SIGHS.]
What are we gonna do? Hey, wait, wait, wait.
Okay, wait.
Really likes that bag.
That's it.
We get the bag, and then we can get out.
And we can end this.
How are we going to do that? I have to distract him while you two get the bag.
I'm not fast like Gabbi, and I'm not strong like Winton.
I can do this.
I can be the bait.
And you two are going to save my ass.
Zee.
For what it's worth, Winton and I, we're just friends.
I ghosted you because I freaked out.
I've never liked a girl before.
Okay.
We got this.
Ready? Ready.
We're right behind you.
[CLANGING.]
Hey! Come and get me! [GASPS.]
- Winton! - Hey! Hey! [RATTLING.]
[FIRE ALARM BLARES.]
Oh, my God! What the?! Jax, Sam! [ALARM BLARES.]
Gallo! Help! It's actually happening! COMPUTER: We are now moving into lockdown.
Police are being notified.
Please assume your lockdown positions.
Stay calm.
We are now moving into lockdown.
Police are being notified.
Please assume your lockdown positions.
Get out of there! Police are being notified.
Please assume your lockdown positions.
[PANICKED SCREAMING.]
Help! Help! No, no! How do I turn this off! The police are being notified.
Please assume your lockdown positions.
Help! Help me, please! Help!
[CLOCK TICKING.]
Woah! Stop that.
It's so annoying.
Oh, Samwise Gamgee, you know I live to annoy you.
- Come here boy.
- Can you please move? - Hey.
- Hey.
They put you in here too? Surprise, surprise.
They did it before.
Clearly they're going to keep doing it.
- Right.
- Hey, did you go to that party? GABBI: Yeah, the one at Cynthia's place.
- What did you think about the party? - Sam, Jax, take your seats.
Gabbi, this is detention, not social hour.
Find another seat farther from your friend.
Principal Gallo, this is an insane mistake.
I shouldn't be here.
And you know I wouldn't do anything like what happened.
Yeah, none of us have anything to do with it.
I don't understand why we're all Do you have any proof that any of us did this I know all of you, you're good kids! Doesn't feel like that's what you're saying.
What you've been saying.
That was something else, Winton.
And I already apologized for thinking that you were involved with that.
Look, I don't want to be here any more than you do.
But somebody's responsible for that cherry bomb in your gym class.
And I heard that one or more of you may have been involved.
All of us? Are you serious? [STUDENTS SPEAKING ANGRILY.]
I don't know who's telling the truth and who's not.
So until the one who is responsible comes forth and is straight with me, you're in detention for the whole weekend.
Mr.
Gallo, this is BS.
Like, my parents are freaking out over something I had nothing to do with.
Your parents? You should see mine.
Seriously, Mr.
Gallo.
Nothing about this is fair.
I know.
When that cherry bomb went off, it panicked everyone.
We all thought it was So then, I triggered the new lockdown technology system.
The alarms went off, scared the whole school.
It sends out these text messages to every parent and every school board member, and they're breathing down my neck.
They want to know what happened.
So help me.
Tell me who did it, and then we can all just go home.
All right, fine.
Hand them over.
- What do you mean by that? - What?! Come on, come on.
Give them to me.
Let's go.
Look, you'll get them back when detention's over.
- This is ridiculous.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
Maybe use this time to think about telling me who did it.
Someone's a snitch, man.
Yo.
Hey, girl.
Hey.
I'd be careful there, Jax.
Why? - She's a cheerleader.
- Yeah.
Which basically means she's got the muscles of a gymnast and can fold you in half.
The wrong way.
Uh, hey.
I'm right here? And my name is Gabbi.
MacArthur.
But you can call me ma'am and [WHISTLES.]
Keep it moving.
Well, what's up with you and the big guy? [SARCASTICALLY.]
Ma'am.
My name's Winton Omawale.
And why do you care, Jax Bender? Oh, I'm just curious.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Okay.
I got this.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Never, nowhere, no chance, no way, no how, absolutely not.
Not in a hundred years.
- Not in a million years? - Not in a billion years.
- Not if it would solve world hunger? - I'd rather jump off a cliff.
Not if we were the last two people left on earth? - Give me an N.
- ALL: N! - Give me an O.
- ALL: O! What does that spell? ALL: No! No? Okay, how about "not today, Satan?" - GABBI: How about "pas de" - Hey, is this someone's bag? I think your phone's vibrating.
- Oh, languages, languages, okay.
- Mm-hmm.
[JAX SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE.]
Which is "I'd love to, just not with you.
" GABBI: Okay, how about "when pigs fly?" JAX: Oh, we're going back to the classics now.
JAX: Okay, well that's the most classic line there is.
It's not me, it's not you, it's me.
[GASPS.]
Whoa! [PANICKED BREATHING.]
Jeez, what is your problem? The bag.
Inside.
It had a face.
A face? [LAUGHS.]
Yeah, nice try bro.
I'm serious.
Look.
It's not funny.
- I'm not trying to be funny.
- Guess what I'm going to do? Not look in that bag because you told me to, just for something stupid to pop out and scare me.
No, respect man.
A prank like that takes planning and foresight.
You guys, I'm not joking.
Gabbi, look at it.
Is big man going to go hide behind your new girlfriend? What is your problem? Fine.
I'll look.
Look.
[SHRIEKS.]
What is it? [LAUGHS.]
Nice.
So stupid.
Hey, hey, what are you? Hey! I know what I saw.
Sure you did.
You calling me a liar, now? [IMITATES PHONE BEEPING.]
Hello? A liar? Okay.
Enough of this stupidity.
[THUD.]
You know there's a new school policy about leaving unattended bags.
- Oh, shut up.
- Oh, Sam Man, you're such a dork! [FAN WHIRRING.]
[CLOCK TICKS.]
Mm, what have we got in here? Jax, sit down.
You're going to get us in trouble.
I'm not doing anything.
Anyhow, how's Gallo going to know? Dang.
This enhanced security game is really interfering with my high school experience.
It's a good thing I can MacGyver it.
[LAUGHS.]
Only a white boy would push his luck while already in detention for screwing up the whole school.
On camera and everything.
- If that were you or me? - We'd be expelled.
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
They have a point.
Y'all are no fun.
I gotta pee.
[DOOR SLAMS.]
Stupid.
Jax is annoying, but He just wants attention.
He's a good guy.
Tsk.
Agree to disagree.
Wait, are you and Jax a thing? Yeah, Zee.
Is Jax your new boyfriend? What? No, I No.
I would never.
Sure.
We're friends, but barely.
[RUSTLING.]
You want to see a head in a bag? I'll give you a head in a bag.
[LOUD GROAN.]
Did y'all hear that? [HEAVY FOOTSTEPS.]
Where's Jax? [DOOR SLAMS.]
This is beyond disappointing.
He said he was going to the bathroom.
We can't help it if he takes off on his own.
You can't leave your bags lying around here, kids! If he comes back here, tell him he's suspended.
Now I've got to call his parents and tell them I don't know where their kid is.
In the meantime I'm locking this door.
[STUDENTS PROTESTING LOUDLY.]
I'm sorry, I'll be back for the rest of detention.
I can't have another kid just ignore everything I say and take off.
Damn.
He seems pissed.
Yeah, well Jax is probably the snitch.
Maybe you are, and [RUSTLING.]
Woah, what the? Why is the bag moving? See? I told you.
Well, I don't know Look, this is just a prank.
No, it's not a prank.
I'm telling you guys I saw a head in there.
[ALL SCREAM.]
- We gotta do something now.
- Woah, woah, woah.
Why is it moving like that? Someone grab it, it's still moving! Shut up! I'll do it.
It's just a stupid Jax prank.
I'll kill him when I see him.
[SCREAMING.]
What, what, what the hell was that? That was that was Jax.
That was Jax? This isn't real.
It's a joke.
This isn't real.
It's a joke.
[MUFFLED ARGUING.]
This isn't real.
It's a joke.
[MUFFLED ARGUING.]
This isn't real.
It's a joke.
[MUFFLED ARGUING.]
This isn't real.
It's a joke.
This isn't real.
It's a joke.
This isn't real.
[MUFFLED ARGUING.]
Stop it! Stop it! This isn't real! It's just a joke! Jax is doing this.
He has to be.
This isn't real.
It's a joke.
Sam.
Sam.
[ALL SCREAM.]
[SPLATTERING.]
- WINTON: Sam.
- GABBI: Oh, my God.
[PANICKED SCREAMS.]
Help! [PANICKED SCREAMS.]
Oh, my God! There's gotta be something! Guys, look around! We gotta get outta here now! Zee! Zee! Go, go! Hi, Mrs.
Bender.
It's Bob Gallo.
Look, I'm calling with some awkward information.
Zee, help us! Zee, what are you doing?! Get something for the door! Zee! We can't stay here.
Mr.
Gallo is going to come in.
And that thing is going to jump him and kill him.
And kill us.
This is all my fault.
It's not your fault, Zee Jax and I are the ones who lit the cherry bomb.
I was mad at Winton, because I thought you two were dating.
Jax just wanted to cheer me up.
He could be a good guy.
When Gallo called me into his office, he told me he thought Jax did it.
But Jax said he saw you two set off the cherry bomb, and that I was with him, and I'd back him up.
I didn't sell you two out.
Not really.
But the lockdown made everyone freak out.
It was such a big deal, and Gallo started talking about automatic expulsion.
I panicked and said I didn't know for sure.
Gallo could tell I was lying.
I'm so, so sorry.
I had no idea you liked me.
It doesn't matter now.
Wait, how did Sam get pulled into this? Jax thought Sam would be the wildcard.
Plus, like he said, he lives to annoy him.
[SIGHS.]
[LAUGHS.]
Lived to annoy him.
Oh, man.
[SIGHS.]
What are we gonna do? Hey, wait, wait, wait.
Okay, wait.
Really likes that bag.
That's it.
We get the bag, and then we can get out.
And we can end this.
How are we going to do that? I have to distract him while you two get the bag.
I'm not fast like Gabbi, and I'm not strong like Winton.
I can do this.
I can be the bait.
And you two are going to save my ass.
Zee.
For what it's worth, Winton and I, we're just friends.
I ghosted you because I freaked out.
I've never liked a girl before.
Okay.
We got this.
Ready? Ready.
We're right behind you.
[CLANGING.]
Hey! Come and get me! [GASPS.]
- Winton! - Hey! Hey! [RATTLING.]
[FIRE ALARM BLARES.]
Oh, my God! What the?! Jax, Sam! [ALARM BLARES.]
Gallo! Help! It's actually happening! COMPUTER: We are now moving into lockdown.
Police are being notified.
Please assume your lockdown positions.
Stay calm.
We are now moving into lockdown.
Police are being notified.
Please assume your lockdown positions.
Get out of there! Police are being notified.
Please assume your lockdown positions.
[PANICKED SCREAMING.]
Help! Help! No, no! How do I turn this off! The police are being notified.
Please assume your lockdown positions.
Help! Help me, please! Help!