Uncle Grandpa (2013) s02e01 Episode Script
1992 Called
Good morning! Good morning.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Good morning! Mm-hmm.
Ain't nothin' gonna take the good out of this mornin'.
- Hey, Uncle G! - Yeah, what? 1992 called and wants those ridiculous pants back.
Oh.
Well, all right.
Destination year 1992.
Back to 1992 you go, outrageous pattern pants.
Well, that's that.
Hey, remember that time I wore those wild pants from the '90s? Uh-huh.
That just happened.
Unforgettable.
I'll get it! Y'ello! - Hey, man, am I getting my pants back or what? - Oh, hey.
Totally, bro.
Uncle Grandpa just sent them through the time portal.
- Well, then where they at? - I don't know.
Just give it a minute, will you? Time travel takes time! Yo, put Uncle Grandpa on the line.
Oh all right.
Hang on.
1992 called again.
He didn't get the pants.
That's impossible! Hello? Listen up, Uncle Grandpa.
I don't have time to play games here.
If I don't get my pants back by the end of the day, I'm callin' the time police! Time police?! But I sent the pants back! Well, you sent the pants back, all right back to 1492.
- Whoops.
- You do realize that a careless mistake like this could very well rip apart the fabric of the space-time continuum and destroy the universe? I'm more worried about spending the night in time jail.
Well, what are we gonna do now?! I'll tell you what we're gonna do! We're gonna get the pants from 1492 and send them back to 1992, and then we're going out for ice-cream sundaes, with sprinkles.
- Who wants to go with me? - I do.
Well, now that there's ice cream involved Okay, I can only take one of you.
Remember, we could only afford the two-man time portal.
So, listen My time-Travel partner has got to be someone who's strong and smart and possesses an intricate knowledge of the past, someone who's been around since the dinosaur age someone who's green, scaly, cold-blooded, and last but not least, someone who's Covered in pepperonis.
Someone who's covered in pepperonis! - I choose Pizza Steve.
- Don't wait up, Mr.
Gus.
Mr.
Gus! I just realized I made a terrible mistake! Giant realistic flying tiger's litter box hasn't been changed all week! So, I'm gonna need you to be a dear and take care of that for me.
OK? Thanks.
We made it.
Now all we have to do is find the pants and get the heck out of here.
Flippin' frog legs! The pants! Hey! What are you doing?! You see this-a map-a, huh? This is-a land.
Now lookit out over there-a! No land in sight-a! Okay, no land means no respect for Christopher Columbus! He's Christopher Columbus! Now get on-a your knees and kiss-a my awesome-a pants-a! I think those pants may have gone to his head.
I never felt more alive when I was wearing 'em.
That's-a right-a! Kiss-a my outrageous pants-a in front of the whole-a crew! Look at my pants-a! Okay, that's enough-a! It is a-sleepy time for me-a.
This is not gonna be easy.
We're gonna have to sneak the pants off of him without violating time law.
That means we have to blend into the year 1492 in a 100% - historically accurate way.
- Historically accurate.
Got it.
This, that's good.
No, don't go that way.
Go that way to the land.
What the Ah! What do you want-a?! Good mornin'! I got the pizza you ordered, Mr.
Columbus.
Extra pepperoni, just the way you like it.
Thanks for choosing Pizzeria Steve's! - Fresh pepper? - My eyes-a! My eyes! Oh! Ay-yah! Ay-yi-yi! I got 'em! I got 'em! I got 'em! - How'd it go? - Not good.
I think we're gonna have to wait till he falls asleep - before we try anything else.
- Okay.
Shh! He's out like a light.
Let's go.
He turned into pillows! And the pants are gone! No! The pants, they not-a gone.
They not-a goin' anywhere-a.
Okay? Now take the two-a them outside-a and tie them up-a! No one steals Christopher Columbus' pants-a! No one! Okay? Who do you think-a you are-a?! I'm Uncle Grandpa.
And this is my little buddy Pizza Steve.
We're here to take your pants back to the - future, where they belong.
- Oh-ho-ho! - Not-a without a fight, you're not-a! - Are you sure? 'Cause Pizza Steve knows Italian karate.
- Don't you, Pizza Steve? - Yeah.
And if you're smart, you won't force me to use it! - Italian karate? - That's right, bro! Italian karate! Yeah! Italian karate.
- I invented Italian karate.
- Say what? Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Pizza Steve! Hey, grandpa, you want some of this-a?! - No, thank you.
- Here I come-a! You had enough-a? Yeah.
Oh, well that's too bad-a, because I'm about to kill you right now-a! Great! We'll never get the pants back to 1992 if we're dead.
We might as well call the time police on ourselves right now.
Wait a minute.
That's it! Hello, time police? Yeah, hi.
I'd like to report a time crime.
Uh, I'm in 1492, and there's a guy here wearing pants from 1992.
Got to go! - Hold it right there! - What the You're under arrest for time law violation z-67x - wearing future pants in the past.
- No, no, no, you don't get it! - I'm-a Christopher Columbus! - Tell it to the time judge.
Reunited, and it feels so good.
Hey, this place is pretty cool.
Yeah, but not as cool as these pants.
Speaking of pants, we'd better get these pants back to 1992.
- Here's your pants back.
- Yo, these pants are funky-fresh, yo! Ahh.
There's no place like now.
- Hey, Mr.
Gus, we're back! - Well, I hope your antics in the past haven't altered the present in any way.
Nah, we were pretty careful.
I wouldn't worry about it.
And who discovered America in 1492, class? - Uncle Grandpa! - That's right! Now let's pledge allegiance to the flag.
Good mornin'! Hmm disgusting.
Shave time! Hmm, let me see here Hey! Lookin' good! Oh, hey, Uncle Grandpa.
- Not bad.
- What is going on, Uncle G?! Wait.
What is actually going on here? Better, closer, warmer.
I'm a pineapple, aren't I? Thank you for the shave, Uncle Grandpa! Anytime, universe.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Good morning! Mm-hmm.
Ain't nothin' gonna take the good out of this mornin'.
- Hey, Uncle G! - Yeah, what? 1992 called and wants those ridiculous pants back.
Oh.
Well, all right.
Destination year 1992.
Back to 1992 you go, outrageous pattern pants.
Well, that's that.
Hey, remember that time I wore those wild pants from the '90s? Uh-huh.
That just happened.
Unforgettable.
I'll get it! Y'ello! - Hey, man, am I getting my pants back or what? - Oh, hey.
Totally, bro.
Uncle Grandpa just sent them through the time portal.
- Well, then where they at? - I don't know.
Just give it a minute, will you? Time travel takes time! Yo, put Uncle Grandpa on the line.
Oh all right.
Hang on.
1992 called again.
He didn't get the pants.
That's impossible! Hello? Listen up, Uncle Grandpa.
I don't have time to play games here.
If I don't get my pants back by the end of the day, I'm callin' the time police! Time police?! But I sent the pants back! Well, you sent the pants back, all right back to 1492.
- Whoops.
- You do realize that a careless mistake like this could very well rip apart the fabric of the space-time continuum and destroy the universe? I'm more worried about spending the night in time jail.
Well, what are we gonna do now?! I'll tell you what we're gonna do! We're gonna get the pants from 1492 and send them back to 1992, and then we're going out for ice-cream sundaes, with sprinkles.
- Who wants to go with me? - I do.
Well, now that there's ice cream involved Okay, I can only take one of you.
Remember, we could only afford the two-man time portal.
So, listen My time-Travel partner has got to be someone who's strong and smart and possesses an intricate knowledge of the past, someone who's been around since the dinosaur age someone who's green, scaly, cold-blooded, and last but not least, someone who's Covered in pepperonis.
Someone who's covered in pepperonis! - I choose Pizza Steve.
- Don't wait up, Mr.
Gus.
Mr.
Gus! I just realized I made a terrible mistake! Giant realistic flying tiger's litter box hasn't been changed all week! So, I'm gonna need you to be a dear and take care of that for me.
OK? Thanks.
We made it.
Now all we have to do is find the pants and get the heck out of here.
Flippin' frog legs! The pants! Hey! What are you doing?! You see this-a map-a, huh? This is-a land.
Now lookit out over there-a! No land in sight-a! Okay, no land means no respect for Christopher Columbus! He's Christopher Columbus! Now get on-a your knees and kiss-a my awesome-a pants-a! I think those pants may have gone to his head.
I never felt more alive when I was wearing 'em.
That's-a right-a! Kiss-a my outrageous pants-a in front of the whole-a crew! Look at my pants-a! Okay, that's enough-a! It is a-sleepy time for me-a.
This is not gonna be easy.
We're gonna have to sneak the pants off of him without violating time law.
That means we have to blend into the year 1492 in a 100% - historically accurate way.
- Historically accurate.
Got it.
This, that's good.
No, don't go that way.
Go that way to the land.
What the Ah! What do you want-a?! Good mornin'! I got the pizza you ordered, Mr.
Columbus.
Extra pepperoni, just the way you like it.
Thanks for choosing Pizzeria Steve's! - Fresh pepper? - My eyes-a! My eyes! Oh! Ay-yah! Ay-yi-yi! I got 'em! I got 'em! I got 'em! - How'd it go? - Not good.
I think we're gonna have to wait till he falls asleep - before we try anything else.
- Okay.
Shh! He's out like a light.
Let's go.
He turned into pillows! And the pants are gone! No! The pants, they not-a gone.
They not-a goin' anywhere-a.
Okay? Now take the two-a them outside-a and tie them up-a! No one steals Christopher Columbus' pants-a! No one! Okay? Who do you think-a you are-a?! I'm Uncle Grandpa.
And this is my little buddy Pizza Steve.
We're here to take your pants back to the - future, where they belong.
- Oh-ho-ho! - Not-a without a fight, you're not-a! - Are you sure? 'Cause Pizza Steve knows Italian karate.
- Don't you, Pizza Steve? - Yeah.
And if you're smart, you won't force me to use it! - Italian karate? - That's right, bro! Italian karate! Yeah! Italian karate.
- I invented Italian karate.
- Say what? Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Pizza Steve! Hey, grandpa, you want some of this-a?! - No, thank you.
- Here I come-a! You had enough-a? Yeah.
Oh, well that's too bad-a, because I'm about to kill you right now-a! Great! We'll never get the pants back to 1992 if we're dead.
We might as well call the time police on ourselves right now.
Wait a minute.
That's it! Hello, time police? Yeah, hi.
I'd like to report a time crime.
Uh, I'm in 1492, and there's a guy here wearing pants from 1992.
Got to go! - Hold it right there! - What the You're under arrest for time law violation z-67x - wearing future pants in the past.
- No, no, no, you don't get it! - I'm-a Christopher Columbus! - Tell it to the time judge.
Reunited, and it feels so good.
Hey, this place is pretty cool.
Yeah, but not as cool as these pants.
Speaking of pants, we'd better get these pants back to 1992.
- Here's your pants back.
- Yo, these pants are funky-fresh, yo! Ahh.
There's no place like now.
- Hey, Mr.
Gus, we're back! - Well, I hope your antics in the past haven't altered the present in any way.
Nah, we were pretty careful.
I wouldn't worry about it.
And who discovered America in 1492, class? - Uncle Grandpa! - That's right! Now let's pledge allegiance to the flag.
Good mornin'! Hmm disgusting.
Shave time! Hmm, let me see here Hey! Lookin' good! Oh, hey, Uncle Grandpa.
- Not bad.
- What is going on, Uncle G?! Wait.
What is actually going on here? Better, closer, warmer.
I'm a pineapple, aren't I? Thank you for the shave, Uncle Grandpa! Anytime, universe.