Vexed s02e01 Episode Script

1 Big day for you, Jack.
Yeah, how so? Doesn't your new partner start today? Oh, Christ, don't remind me.
Why, what's the problem? You know me, I like working on my own.
Out with the old, in with the new, I say, mate.
Keeps you on your toes.
Yeah, which is another reason why I hate new partners.
I don't want some fast-tracked know-it-all telling me how I should be doing my job.
Hmmm.
I mean, get this, get this.
Right, he's 30 years old and his name is George.
George? Please.
My grandad was called George.
He was weird.
Bet you a tenner he's got a beard.
Go on, then.
Make it 20.
OK, OK, but goatees count as beards, right? Whatever.
So, what do you reckon? What is it? It's a Makihito GT.
Sweet, huh? Yeah? Looks like a cross between a dildo and a vacuum cleaner.
Cutting edge of automotive design, that's what it is.
160 miles per hour top and there's still space for the weekly shop.
Yeah, but is there room for a hair dryer and curling tongs, is what I ask myself.
I'm telling you, Jack, that's not a hairdresser's car.
That's hardcore.
Yeah, well, you wouldn't catch me dead in a car like this.
Hmm, catch you later.
See you later, Naz.
Hello? Oh.
Hi.
Hi.
So what do you think? Boringly predictable.
In what way? In every way.
I mean, take the boot, for instance.
You know, it's such an obvious sexual statement.
Is it? Yeah, it's a cry for attention.
"Look at me, aren't I clever?" Anyway, listen, I'm actually here on duty, I'm not here to buy a car.
But, hey, why don't we why don't we go get a drink later on? I'll promise not to make you a suspect, if you promise not to try and sell me a car.
Georgina.
D.
I.
Georgina Dixon.
Your new partner.
Until the post-mortem, we're working on the assumption that he died from a blow to the side of the head, just below the cheekbone.
We need some background on the victim - name, address, where he worked, are there any possible witnesses? His name's Carl Mercer, 29 years old, he's a salesman, he's worked here for two years, engaged to Debbie Jackson, the receptionist.
Her father is head of the service department.
Carl's boss in the sales department is Jeffrey Daniels.
Jeffrey Daniels is waiting to speak to us now.
People think selling is just about the five Ps but, oh, there's more to it than that.
The five Ps? No? Prospect, presentation, pre-closing, placate and pen.
Pen? "Sign here, please, sir.
" Oh.
No, no, no.
A good salesman gets under the skin of his prospect.
He understands him, thinks like him, breathes like him, until they are as one.
Now Carl knew how to do that.
That's nubuck.
Soft as a baby's backside, now available in white.
Very premiership.
Did Carl ever have Was there much Sorry.
Was there much rivalry between the sales team? Rivalry? Are you kidding? Winning is everything.
It is the oxygen of a sales team.
Carl and Emma were like lions in a cage.
Every time one rang the bell, you could see the other one pick up the phone and chase another lead.
The bell? We like to we like to ring a bell when we make a sale.
It's It just marks the moment.
How far did Did Carl ever have How far did Did Carl ever have any clashes with any other colleagues? How far did the rivalry go? Ooh, now if you're suggesting that Emma killed him because he beat her in the monthly revenue targets, no, no, no, no, forget it, no.
It was you that found Carl's body, is that right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, when Carl didn't show up for an appointment this morning, I took his prospect out for a test drive.
Had to stick some petrol in the car first.
I mean, it was completely dry.
Why would that be? Oh, we always run them quite low, in case they get nicked.
Anyway, the prospect, aah, he loved it.
I had him on the hook for over ten grand's worth of extras.
Carbon brakes, full leather, sat nav, adjustable suspension the works.
Then we get back from the test drive, he takes one last walk round the car, asks me to pop the boot.
Boom.
Game over.
There's Carl, stiff as a board, staring up at him.
After that there was there was no way back.
I tried everything to get the pen in his hand, but he wasn't having it.
He just walked away.
Right, well, thank you very much, Mr Daniels.
Thank you.
Right, we need to find out who was the last person to leave this place.
It was Carl.
OK.
Well, we need to check for possible witnesses and find out whether this place uses a security firm.
They do.
I'm waiting for them to call me back.
CCTV, what's the coverage, did they pick anything up? The car was parked outside when Mr Daniels arrived this morning, but out of view of both cameras.
So the murderer worked here.
Possibly.
Or it could just be a coincidence.
No such thing.
What? Coincidence.
A series of unlikely events that, although accidental, seem to have been planned.
Why? Because in a murder investigation, they always have been.
Nonsense.
You can't dismiss an unlikely, but possible, set of circumstances on the basis they've occurred during a murder investigation.
Yes, I can.
You CAN, but you'd be discounting a potentially valid line of enquiry because of your discrimination against the notion of chance.
You sound like you've done a course on this.
As a matter of fact, I have.
Right, let's get back to base for a latte.
Come on, come on.
Oh, great! Do you need a lift? No, I'm fine, thank you.
Thanks.
OK.
I'll see you back at base? Yeah, yeah, see you back at base.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Come on, come on.
One, two three.
So, uh, what's he like? You know, I'm really disappointed in you, Naz.
I think it's really unsportsmanlike to take a bet when you already know the outcome.
Stop bitching and cough up.
Sweet.
Five ingredients, if you can name them all, lunch is on the house.
You will lose.
You have been warned.
Dive in.
Mmm.
Apple juice, apple pulp, definitely Granny Smith, Demerara sugar, twist of lime and I'd say in a bid to put me off, cinnamon.
Ah, wait a minute.
You saw.
You saw me.
Uh-uh.
Actually, you know, that's that's quite freaky.
Listen, have you got any tips of how I can deal with Jack? Ah, you gotta feed him, cos if you don't, he can be a right grumpy old sod.
Like when he's tired.
Ah, he's not very good in the mornings.
OK, that's actually all really useful.
Bloody car! Morning, Jack.
Oh, hey, glad to see you found the base.
I waited for you at the station, until they told me they'd hardly seen you in two years and where to find you.
Well, too many cops - can't think.
Makes perfect sense.
Well, as you know, as a uniformed officer, 60% leg work, right, 40% paperwork.
But in a murder investigation, it's 50% instinct, 22% thinking, 25% paperwork.
Which makes 97%.
And 3% Yeah? Morning, Tony.
The usual please, mate.
Coming right up.
Oh, hi, Naz.
Jack? Meet my new partner, Georgina.
Hi.
We've met.
The Y-chromosome sampling course? You guys have met? Oh my god, Nazza, right? Of course! Yeah, hi.
How did the exam go? A.
You? A.
Wow, nice one.
Speaking of forensics, have we got a time of death? Between seven and nine last night.
How about a murder weapon? No, but we've got three sets of prints off the inside of the boot lid.
Don't tell me.
Weird Jeff, the kid who polishes the cars and the punter? Correct.
How did you know that? Lucky guess.
Experience.
I told him.
Right.
Have you eaten? No, I haven't.
Here you go.
Oh, thank you, Tony.
Perfect.
So, Debbie Jackson, the fiancee, lives five minutes away with her dad, Dave.
Let's go.
Thanks for the smoothie.
You owe me lunch.
See you.
Bye.
Do you know, I specifically asked for a male partner this time and they give me her! What have I done to deserve this? What, indeed.
What, indeed.
Naz seems pretty cool.
Yeah, he's OK for a geek.
He's not a geek.
He is.
He plays computer games over the internet with his saddo friends, wearing headphones.
Well, that's just your generation's opinions of gamers.
It's how he chooses to unwind.
Yeah, my generation says he needs to get out more and get laid.
I'm sure Naz doesn't have any problems in that area.
Shall we go in my car? Why? Is this going to be OK? Yeah, it'll be fine.
Hop in.
OK.
It's OK, it's OK! It's just a misfire.
It's probably just a dodgy spark plug.
This thing has never, ever broken down.
Mm-hm? Never.
Sure.
Ever.
Uh-huh.
It's built like a tank.
Handles like it.
Yeah, this thing will still be going long after your tin can has been turned into a fridge.
I don't know about that.
That tin can of mine has 155 brake horse power and does 0-60 in 6.
5 seconds, which is actually quite fast.
Does this thing actually do 60? Yes, in great comfort and style.
So you transferred in from Reading, right? Yup.
My very first day here.
So what made you want to become a cop? It's in the blood.
My dad's a cop, both my uncles, one of my aunts, two of my cousins.
Hmm.
Bet you never shop-lifted as a kid.
I did, actually.
Little rebellious phase when I was about eight.
What for? Sweets? No, hamsters.
Hamsters? None of them survived.
Right.
Hi.
DIs Dixon and Armstrong, we'd like to have a quick word.
Ginger nuts, digestives.
So, how long have you been working Don't worry about Bruno.
Hello, boy.
He's a big old softie.
I'd put him in the kitchen, but he doesn't like being on his own.
He doesn't like being on his own, does he? He doesn't like it, do you? He scratches the door.
Yeah, he's a big scratcher.
So, how long have you worked there, Mr Jackson? Oh, yes, I've been service manager for about six years and I've been there the best part of 20.
Debs has been receptionist for what is it, love? Couple of years? Oh, well, let's see, it was after my birthday, cos I was in Crete for that, wasn't I? Yeah.
So it would have been March-ish.
Or April.
Roughly's fine.
No, hang on, it was May.
May.
Excuse me.
Sorry, I've been crying.
They got engaged They got engaged Sorry.
They got engaged a couple of months back.
We had the reception booked and everything.
Did you call them about the refund? Er, no, no.
Well, you should.
Not yet.
They should give a refund, shouldn't they? Um, yes, possibly.
It depends.
It's possible that Carl could have been killed by somebody that he already knew.
Are you aware of anyone who may have had a grudge against him? No.
No, he was a good lad.
Everyone liked Carl, didn't they, love? Yeah.
Did Carl have any ex-girlfriends, at all? No, thank you.
None, at all, ever? No.
Well, not proper girlfriends.
I mean, not ones that he loved, not properly, anyway.
Are you sure about that? Nobody who could have been a bit jealous? No, because he never, ever saw or even spoke to any of his exes, ever.
Right.
What about you, Debbie? Any exes who may have been a bit upset that you were marrying Carl? Mr Jackson, why don't you and DI Armstrong pop out and give us a bit of girl time? Good idea.
When Debbie got together with Carl, she'd just finished with a lad called Ryan.
One of my mechanics.
He worshipped her.
Started pestering her 20 times a night, calling her at work, begging to see her.
What did she do? Well, she caved in, agreed to meet him for a drink.
Tried to tell him it was over but he wasn't having it.
Did he get violent? No.
Not as such.
But he lost his rag.
He's got a bit of a temper on him, has Ryan.
What did you do? Well, I told him he'd better watch out or I'd teach him some manners and he'd be out of a job.
Not much I could do, in reality.
Management said it was a personal matter.
You any good with Mercs? Try her now.
Yeah.
Oh, yes! There you go.
It was a loose spark plug lead.
Yeah, I thought it was something like that, but, you know, it's always good to have a second opinion.
Great motors, these.
Run like clockwork.
I've known one do 300-400,000 miles without missing a beat.
Yeah? Nice one.
Well, thank you for talking to us, especially at this difficult time.
We'll be in touch.
Cheers.
Bye.
Bye.
What were you doing? I'm sorry? Well, getting a potential suspect to fix your car.
Don't they teach you anything on these courses that you do? Yeah.
What? When you're dealing with a potential suspect, if you give them something routine and familiar to do, they open up in a way that they wouldn't in a more formal interview situation.
They'll tell you things.
Debbie opened up to me.
Seven pages of notes from Debbie, so All right, OK.
Did she tell you about her mum? What about her mum? That her and Dave divorced five years ago.
It's not relevant.
Well, OK, did she talk about Ryan? Of course.
About the midnight phone calls after she called it off? Obviously.
Yeah? Did she tell you about Ryan's violent temper? Ah, she didn't tell you that, did she? Not in so many words, no.
Yeah.
Running like a dream now.
What is it with you and dogs? Did one bite you? No, no, I just had a bit of an incident when I was a child.
Er, one tried to It was a bit of a mess, I was wearing shorts.
Shit! It's my new partner.
I'm going to have to take this, boys, I'm really sorry.
Just, shush for a second.
Hello? 'Hi, it's me.
' Listen, I'm just reading Reddingtons.
Yeah? Any good? 'No, The Investigator's Manual, Reddingtons.
' Anyway, it's talking about the dangers of narrowing the scope of the investigation at the outset 'because the immediate set of circumstances dictate an obvious set of parameters, 'which got me thinking.
' Yeah? So, I'm not saying we should discount any of the avenues we're currently exploring, 'but maybe we should think more laterally, until we have something a bit more concrete.
'Are you actually listening to me?' Yeah.
OK.
Yeah, definitely.
That sounds good.
What was that? What was what? 'That noise.
' What noise? I didn't hear anything.
Good night, Jack.
Dick! He-he! Next game, seven-card stud.
Why are we coming this way? We're here to see the saleswoman, aren't we? Ryan Kinnock works here.
Let's turn the screw make him think that the net's closing in.
I want to intimidate him.
Feel the eyes.
It's a dog-eat-dog world.
If a bloke walks through that door, it's my job to get a pen in his hand and his signature on the contract, any way I can.
If I don't, there's another half dozen car dealers within gobbing distance of this place who will.
You make it sound like you don't have any female customers.
I don't.
Do you really think women would buy a car off me? Was Carl as aggressive as you? She means as a salesman woman.
Sorry.
More.
He was ruthless.
He nailed them.
They didn't stand a chance.
I've seen him sell a 4x4 to a bloke who walked in here wanting a sports car.
Never tell him to his face, of course.
He was a cocky little shit.
He didn't need me boosting his ego.
Did he ever upset anyone by selling them something they didn't want? No.
Look, at the end of the day, the punters are free to walk away.
It's their own decision.
I don't think a customer whacked him over the head because he sold him a car they didn't want, if that's what you mean.
Why do you say "whacked him over the head?" Dunno.
Figure of speech? Did you ever have a physical relationship with Carl? What's that got to do with anything? Just answer the question, please.
Yes.
But that's all it was, physical.
It only happened once.
He wasn't my type.
And what is your type? I mean I mean, were you HIS type? Wow.
Thank you, I think we've got everything we need.
Please.
Just call me if you need anything else.
Emma.
Nice name Thank you.
Thank you.
What? What's wrong? You know exactly.
OK, that may have seemed like I was flirting, but actually, out here in the real world, that is called tactical questioning.
Rubbish! It is! You were lapping it up, you were encouraging her.
I was not! Please don't slam What's your problem? I don't have a problem.
Please don't tell me that this is normal.
What? Being uptight.
I am not uptight! You were just behaving inappropriately with a potential suspect! I was not! You were! All right, listen, OK, it's not just that, it's just you're very stressful to be around.
Am I? Yes, a little.
Sorry.
That's been mentioned before.
Right.
Well, hey, you know, now we're here we We might as well interview the MD.
Elaine McGovern.
She's not here today, she won't be back till tomorrow.
We could always interview Ryan.
I think we should hold back on Ryan.
Why? He'll be expecting us to talk to him, and if we think he's hiding something, we can always go and interview him again.
OK, let's do that.
OK.
OK.
Pretty girl with a torque wrench.
What's wrong with that? Makes total sense to me.
It's offensive.
To who? Well, to mechanics.
It's actually a highly skilled job and she clearly doesn't know one end of a torque wrench from the other.
Yeah, well, she can fix my car any day.
Your car? She might have to.
What do you want? Have a seat, please, Ryan.
Did you go out with Debbie? I had nothing to do with Carl's murder, if that's what you think.
We're not suggesting you did, Ryan, but to find Carl's killer, we need to talk to everybody connected with him.
You think I did it, don't you? Just answer the question.
Yeah, I went out with her.
And when did it finish? Don't know, nine months ago.
Who finished it? She did.
How did that make you feel, Ryan? What are you, a shrink or something? You were still in love with her, weren't you? I don't know.
Look, I liked her, yeah.
Did you ask her to go out with you again? We spoke a few times.
She said she still had feelings for me.
But she was already going out with Carl? Yeah.
Did you resent Carl for going out with her? No, I resented Carl cos he was a prat.
In what way? In every way.
Always mouthing off.
Thought he was better than the rest of us.
Yeah? Did the other mechanics feel that way about him? Yeah, pretty much.
What did you think when Carl and Debbie got engaged? Don't know what she saw in him.
He shagged anything that moved.
So he was unfaithful to her? I don't know, probably.
Did you try to talk Debbie out of marrying him? No.
Look, I don't have feelings for her any more.
She can do what she likes.
OK.
Where were you between seven and nine last night? I can get you behind the wheel for less than 250 a month.
Oh, no, I'm I'm not really in the market.
To be honest, a lot of the men that buy these cars don't quite measure up.
Yeah? Wannabes.
It's a real man's car, this.
Hop in.
I'm not really into modern cars.
Go on, get in.
OK.
Start her up.
I really shouldn't Go ahead.
It's the red button on the dash.
OK.
Ooh? Wow.
There you go, you see.
It just kinda works with some men.
Really suits you, you know.
What are you driving at the moment? Erm.
Erm, well, just that old thing.
Really? Yeah.
Tell you what, why don't you take her out for a quick spin? Well Well, maybe, maybe some other time.
I'm on duty now and I really should get back.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Call me.
Yeah.
Yeah, she was just showing me the It's not really my thing, but So, do you want to take her for a spin? I mean, I like it, but I don't know.
OK, what for you is the most important function in a car? No, no, I'm sorry, it's not that simple.
It really is.
No.
The relationship a man has with his car is the same relationship as he has with his girlfriend.
Do you have any idea how sad that sounds? No, it's true.
I mean, when you choose a boyfriend, do you make a checklist of important functions? Well, anyway, make it as complicated as you want, but the bottom line is, that car's pretty quick for a 4x4 and it comes with good extras.
Yeah.
She says she can get it for me for 250 a month.
Yeah, plus a deposit and a balloon, right? A balloon? Yeah, you know, you pay a deposit.
Say ten grand or so Ten grand! And then you have 36 monthly instalments and then you pay off the balance with a balloon payment.
Jesus, that's going to cost me a fortune! If you don't want to pay off the balloon at the end, you just give back the car.
We're missing something.
Yeah, some food, I'm starving.
It's just it's too easy.
Just the way I like it.
There was no passion with Ryan, you know.
I believed him when he said he was over Debbie.
Maybe.
Or maybe he was lying.
Look, I don't think he was.
OK, who do you think did it? I don't know.
I don't think we will until we find the murder weapon.
There wasn't one.
Post-mortem result's in.
He wasn't killed by a blow to the head.
He was poisoned.
Poisoned? Carbon monoxide fumes.
All I'm saying is, a modern car can do everything an old car can do Classic car.
Classic car can do, but better.
Jesus, do you have to drive so fast? See, your car couldn't have done that.
Done what? Taken that corner like that.
Why would anybody in their right minds take a corner like that? I've done the course.
What course is that? The "scare the shit out of my new partner" course? The Police Defensive Driving Course.
What's defensive about driving like this? Well, do the course and you'll find out.
Every time I think of you I feel shot right through with a bolt of blue It's no problem of mine But it's a problem I find Living a life that I can't leave behind.
We missed it the first time but see that little hole? Yeah.
It drains the boot if there's a leak or if any liquid gets spilt.
Normally it would have a rubber bung in it.
But it didn't.
And the bung is right above the exhaust? Yeah.
Excuse me, excuse me, sorry, can I please have a look? Yeah.
Thank you, right.
Yeah, the bung's right above the exhaust.
Exactly.
So the gas fumes could have blown straight in.
Hmm.
And Carl's head was here, right next to the hole.
He'd have breathed in the raw fumes whilst lying there unconscious.
He'd have been dead in five minutes.
So the car had been running? That's why it was out of petrol when Jeff went to take it on a test drive.
Only someone who knows cars would know about the bung.
Hello, hello, hello! I just wondered how we're getting on.
Fine, thank you.
Good, good.
Only your colleagues at HQ informed me that you got everything you need from the car.
We haven't quite finished.
Right, OK, you see, only I've got a prospect on the horizon.
Now, he wanted an SLK, which we haven't got.
But I think I've steered him, excuse the pun, towards one of these.
I say one of these, this is actually the only one of these that we've got, the Makihito GT, if you catch my drift.
Now, I haven't mentioned the incident, but then again who needs to know, eh? It's not as if it's going to show up on the service record.
So I just wondered when we could have the car back.
At least for a test drive, you know? Carl read people.
Soon as they walked in that door.
It's what made him such a good salesman.
He just, he instinctively knew what they were after.
No, he'll be missed.
By everyone? What do you mean? Well, Carl seems to have rubbed a lot of people up the wrong way.
It was nothing more than the usual petty rivalry.
That's the same as any sales-driven company.
But it was more than that.
There was an us and them culture between the sales and the service departments.
That's the same at every dealership I've worked at.
In general, I would say this is an unusually harmonious company.
What? Nothing.
What about Ryan? He had reason to hate Carl, didn't he? If you're suggesting Ryan killed Carl, that's ridiculous! I mean, he may not be much of a charmer, but he's not a killer.
OK, thank you very much.
Thank you.
God, she's weird.
Impossible to read, completely emotionless.
It's the botox.
She's had botox? It's made her face completely expressionless.
Look.
Happy face.
Sad face.
Hmm, you wouldn't want to play her at poker.
You can still read the eyes though.
Yeah, she's hiding something.
Who she's shagging.
What do you think? It's a beast.
Yeah.
Hey.
We need to talk.
In private.
I may have some important information.
Come with me.
Jack? Er You coming? Actually, he's all yours.
I've got some things that I need to check with Fine! Ready? Always.
Buckle up.
Er, close the door.
Walls have ears.
Best if no one overhears what I've got to say.
Right then, I'll be honest.
I do a lot of reading.
Murder mysteries.
And I like to watch all the detective series on the telly.
It's sort of my thing.
I mean, if I wasn't a sales director, I'd be one of you lot.
I mean, seriously.
It's just well, it's a gift.
Really? Yeah.
And I know who did it.
So who was it, then? It's the window cleaner.
The window cleaner? Yeah.
And why do you think it was him? There's just something about him.
I've always thought so.
Right.
So no hard evidence then? Not as such, no, no.
You didn't see him do it? No, I He didn't confess to you? No.
But then he's not been in for a while.
Which is a bit odd, because he normally comes once a week.
Right.
I suppose he could be on holiday? Maybe So tell me, what are the engine options on this? Right.
Well you've got three basic options.
The 2.
2 diesel which is a nice compromise if you're looking for good performance and great economy.
The 2.
5 petrol, more of a ladies' option.
Looks pretty but it's not so quick.
And what I like to call the wildcat, three litre turbo.
Fast enough to rip the wig off a game show host.
You fancy a spin? Whoa.
So, want to run through the specs? Or shall we just cut to the chase? Can I have a look at the specs? Fine.
There's dual zone climate control here and here.
Oh, yeah.
Sat nav, Bluetooth hands free.
Great.
Intelligent cruise control, auto dipping mirrors and as for the gear shift.
Please can I have a drive? Sure.
So, Mr Policeman, show me what you can do.
I just think I forgot Where are you going? Great wheels.
Tungsten lights.
What are you doing? Very spacious.
It's the best of its class.
Listen, do you mind if we drive back to the showroom now? Because, you know, I've got an investigation to get on with, a man's died, it's very tragic.
Fine, show me how you drive this thing.
OK.
Right yeah, how do you turn it on again? Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's right, that's right.
Whoa.
And the best bit, four way electric seats.
Oh? Right, yeah, it's It's very So, how do you like the handling? Very serious offence, assaulting a police officer.
It's up to four years in prison.
Come on.
Thank you.
I'll be in the car, lover boy.
I had it under control, you know!! For your information, the maximum sentence for assaulting a police officer is six months, not four years.
Four years sounds better.
Yeah, but what happened? I don't know, I panicked.
Things have become blurred, I couldn't tell whether she wanted to get it on with me or she just wanted to sell me the car.
Maybe she wanted to do both? Yeah, but then if I got it on with her, would that mean that I'd have to buy the car? It could have got messy, she was very aggressive.
Hey! Hi.
Please tell me that's recycling.
Reading.
I don't do homework.
This is fun.
Yeah? What is it? Mobile phone records.
Whose are they? Everyone we've interviewed.
Yeah, well, good luck with that.
No, no, you take those, I'll take these.
Let me know if you find anything.
See you, Tony! See you.
You're a foxy lady And I'm a foxy guy When I look into your eyes It makes me want to cry Your daddy Your daddy, your daddy works the night shift Your daddy works the night shift Oh, for Christ's sake! Yeah, what's up? How's it going? Yes It's going fine.
Are you actually doing any work? Yeah, I got the records right here, I've been looking at numbers all night! Call me if you find anything.
You're a foxy lady And I'm a foxy guy When I look into your eyes It makes me want to cry Your daddy's on the night shift Your mama's a nurse Now we're alone together Let me look inside your purse What? I got something.
Carl was shagging his boss.
Botox lady? No way.
Yeah, there's a series of text messages from Carl to her with the last one on the night he died.
"Working L8 2nite.
How about you?" Why can't people speak English when they're writing text messages? I mean does it seriously take longer to write L-A-T-E than it does to write L and then shift to the letter 8? When you've finished your rant can you tell me what she replied.
"S-F-E 2 E.
" Sfetuey? Smiling from ear to ear.
How do you know this shit? So what do you think it means? It means she's a liar.
A straight-faced liar come to that.
I think we should confront her and see what she does.
Nice work.
Call me if you get anything else.
Forget it, I'm going to bed.
Part timer.
Look, I'm sorry.
I'm already late for a meeting.
We need to ask you a question.
But before we ask you, I have to let you know that wasting police time is punishable by up to four years in prison.
Now, did you have sex with Carl on the night before he died? How do you know that? Because we're policemen.
Women Officers.
Officers.
That's how.
Look I'm I'm sorry I didn't tell you because I really didn't think it was relevant.
You stayed late to have intimate relations with Carl less than an hour before he died.
How can that not be relevant? I'm sorry.
So let's start at the beginning.
When did you start having sex with Carl? It's about a month ago.
When he was still engaged to Debbie? Does any of this have to get out? Depends on whether we still think you're lying.
I promise you I'm not.
How many times did you have sex with him? I don't know.
I don't know, maybe four or five times.
But look, I was flattered and it was just sex.
And what happened the night he died? Well, we waited until everyone else had left and then we went to my office and we, we had sex but then I left.
With him? No, no, we went separately, we agreed to leave separately.
I left first.
And then that was that.
And then and then the next morning, Jeff found him and all hell broke loose.
What? Nothing.
Nothing.
Come on.
Four years? You're right, it does sound better.
I still think we're missing something.
Yeah, coffee.
No, Carl was engaged to Debbie, but he was being unfaithful to her.
Men, eh? Which means that Ryan wasn't the only one with a motive.
I'll see you at Tony's, OK? You know what, I think I can crack this case.
Really? Yeah.
OK, I'll give you till four, then I'm arresting Ryan.
Fine.
See you later.
Hey, Joey.
Are we on for tonight or what? Yeah.
This could all end in crippling humiliation.
Yeah, but you're probably used to that by now.
Ha, ha.
Hello again.
Who buys this tat? Presumably people who want to evoke fond holiday memories.
What, a stuffed leprechaun? What does that evoke apart from long hours stuck in some hellhole of an airport with nothing to buy but crap like this? Sorry about that, it was Debbie.
She's at the hotel, trying to get the money back on the reception.
You should have got it insured.
They cover most eventualities, nowadays.
Mr Jackson We'd like to talk to you about your affair with Elaine McGovern.
I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about.
I'm afraid it was Bruno who gave you away.
Well, I'm happy to help with your enquiries but if you're going to waste my time, forget it.
Sit down, Mr Jackson.
It's Bruno's.
Oh.
You mentioned that Bruno doesn't like being left in a room on his own and if he is, he'll often scratch the door, but what I couldn't figure out was why Elaine McGovern's office door had scratch marks on the outside of it.
This is ridiculous.
Any more of this and I'm going to have to make a complaint about you.
The only thing that I could come up with is that you and her were inside the office and you didn't want the dog in the room for some reason.
Well, that's quite possible.
As head of the service department, I would have meetings with Elaine.
Without the dog.
Oh? So it's not that you were having sex with her after hours.
I'm not going to dignify that with an answer.
Fair enough.
So how was Dublin? We've just been admiring your souvenirs.
Very nice, thank you.
And who did you go with? None of your business.
Well, look, we can check the airline passenger records with a phone call, but it would just be quicker if you told us.
All right, yes, you are right, we did have a brief fling.
We went out a few times and we went to Dublin for the weekend.
But she finished it about a month ago.
And that is it.
And did you know that she was sleeping with Carl? You did.
Of course, because you caught them having sex in her office on the night that he died, actually.
That must have been awful, to find the man that your daughter's engaged to, your precious Debbie is about to marry, having sex with the woman you're still in love with in the office where you've done it with her, possibly over the same desk.
That good for nothing little shit! He wasn't worthy of cleaning Debbie's boots, let alone marrying her.
He was all mouth.
Told her exactly what she wanted to hear.
I tried to tell her but she wasn't having it.
It created a rift between us so I backed off.
But he was a liar.
Same with Elaine.
Sweet-talking her with his little compliments.
"I like your shoes".
It wasn't her fault.
He was using her.
Well, not any more.
Please sit down, Mr Jackson! Sit down, Mr Jackson.
I bet you didn't even mean to kill him when you confronted him, did you? It was probably just a fight that escalated.
But then, once you had knocked him out, it must have seemed so easy to just place him in the boot and put his head next to the bung.
And then all you had to do was take the bung out, slam the boot and let the exhaust do the rest of the work.
Who could blame you? He got what he deserved.
Jack.
Will you do the honours? I haven't got my cuffs with me.
I've got some in my hand bag.
Oh.
They've never been used before.
Well, do you want to do it No, no, no.
Can you do that bit and I'll do the Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, do the David Jackson, I'm arresting you on suspicion of the murder of Carl Mercer.
You do not have to say anything but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you You know what, you may as well just leave the bottle, and put it on my tab.
You don't have a tab.
Then put it on Jack's tab.
Right you are.
Hey, guys! Hey, Jack, where you been? You guys seem to be having a good time? It's not every day you solve your first case.
Yeah, that's true.
That is true.
You know what, I couldn't have done it without you, Jack.
Yeah, that's what he keeps saying.
I wouldn't want you to feel bad.
Well, that's OK because I don't feel bad.
I'd understand if you did.
Well I don't, so You know, your rookie partner, solving the first case.
Yeah, well, you know, I feel fine about that.
I think that's pretty big of you.
Yeah, I nudged you in the right direction, I stepped aside and you rose to the challenge.
You didn't step aside.
I stepped aside.
You didn't really nudge me in the right direction either, I nudged myself OK, shall we have a toast? What shall we drink to? To new partners.
To new partners.
Oh, and new friends.
Hey, hey, hey.
Cheers.
OK, I'm going to the ladies room.
Are you going to be OK? Uh-huh.
Whoa! Sorry, Tony! It's all right.
What the hell have you guys done to her? She said she could handle it.
She obviously can't handle it, she's totally trashed.
I think she's wonderful.
Shut up, you're totally trashed too.
I'll take him home but she's your responsibility.
Why's she my responsibility? "To new partners.
" Ah, Jesus, fair enough.
That's yours as well, she just put it on your tab.
On my tab? On your tab.
Oop.
Oop.
You all right? Mm-hm.
What did you decide to do with your car? Well, I decided that if I'm going to spend 50 grand, I'm not going to spend it on some gas-guzzling kiddie wagon.
Anyway, I'm fond of the old lady.
Go on, hop in.
Mind your head.
OK.
You know, I think you made the right decision.
Yeah? Yeah.
It kinda suits you.
It does, doesn't it? Yeah.
Oh, come on.
I tell you what, why don't we walk? OK.
The fresh air will do you good.
What was your last partner like? Oh, she was great.
She was a she.
Yeah.
How old? What did she look like? She had blonde hair, blue eyes, great figure.
Yeah, but was she any good? Oop! She was amazing.
I'll be honest with you, she was a bit of a pain in the arse.
Am I a bit of a pain in the arse? Oh look, it's a full moon.
I remember what it was like at Uni.
Do you? Two types of girl broadly speaking.
I've got a horrible feeling you mean sexually.
What was she studying? Women.
And Gender Studies.
Studying women? I think we all know what mark I'd get if I was doing that.
This is a murderer we're after, who knows if they're going to kill again.
We need to go undercover.
Mature student.
Professor of Gender Studies.