Waterloo Road (2006) s02e01 Episode Script

LORNA: Dear Izzie, I spent all night thinking things over.
Tom and I were never going to work, deep down I've always known that.
I'm so sorry for the way I've treated you.
You and Tom have a real chance to be happy.
Don't throw that away because of me.
Please know that I am happy and I will make a new life for myself.
Hey, I might even go to Australia and meet Mr Right.
Whatever happens, let's all stay friends.
We need each other.
Lorna.
Look at that, 31 degrees in Sydney.
Lorna will be sunning herself on a beach right now.
Don't know how she's going to manage out there with her skin.
Do you really think that's where she's gone? - Australia? - She used to fantasise about it all the time.
Must be somewhere nice or we'd hear about it.
Yeah, and here we are in rainy Rochdale.
Oh, romantic Rochdale.
Do you have to keep doing that in front of us? Honestly, I will be glad to get back to school.
- Roger.
Welcome.
- Hello, Jack.
So, you looking forward to meeting the staff? For sure.
I'd like you to meet my senior management team first.
This way.
Morning.
- Hi.
- Hi.
How was Rwanda? - When did you get back? - Couple of days ago.
Didn't you get my letter? Probably arrive around Christmas.
Doing really great stuff out there now.
I told the kids all about you.
- What about you, good holiday? - Yeah, yeah, good.
just caught up on movies I'd missed out on, friends, and celebrating me divorce coming through.
Divorce? I didn't even know you were married.
Oh, did I not tell you? Well, why should I have? Sorry.
No, no reason.
So, off to meet our new Sponsor Governor, then? - God help us.
- It's great news, isn't it, Kim? What? What, you think it's okay for someone to just come and buy a slice of the school? Oh, right, I'll take a couple of pound of teachers and a couple of bags of pupils.
- Can you not see how - Forget I spoke.
Okay? Kim, I - I really missed you.
- What (GIRLS CHATTERING) - Quietly, please.
- Sorry, Mr Treneman.
Impressive results you've been achieving here, Jack.
100%%% improvement in our A to C grades, and now we're offering A-Levels.
Never seen the like at Waterloo Road, eh? Andrew, Kim.
Mr Aspinall.
- Roger.
- Pleasure to meet you.
What you're doing here, well, we're all really grateful.
You want to put something back, don't you? Lucky old us is what I say.
Mr Aspinall was a former pupil here himself.
So I read.
Worst days of my life if you want to know.
But, well, now I've made I also heard you're going to be the new Chair of the Board of Governors.
The only volunteer.
Great, a board that's going to get involved.
Which brings me neatly to the question of my contract.
Yeah, I've called an extraordinary meeting for this afternoon, sort out this whole head teacher issue.
Now that the discipline committee's found in my favour.
Let me show you something, Jack.
The Aspinall Thermal Coated LW-7 nut.
Titanium cobalt alloy, can be used in temperatures exceeding 450 degrees.
If this didn't do its job, planes would fall out of the sky.
And I need the right components to help this school take off.
Another year and not a day older, eh, Grantly? You speak for yourself.
I felt my life blood slipping away the minute I walked back through those gates.
- Hello, stranger.
- Steph.
I want to hear all about your holiday, maybe over a Laters, yeah.
Well, I hope he's not going to be Mr Grumpy Drawers all term.
Morning, everybody, and welcome back to Waterloo Road.
Now, I know that some of you have heard something about the new school.
Well, this is the man behind it all, Mr Aspinall.
I know that each and every one of you is going to do your best to make it work.
Because what we've got here is the future for some of the poorest kids in Britain.
A state of the art academy with playing fields, and windows that can shut, and you should see the staff room, it's like an airport lounge.
So, let's hear it for our new Sponsor Governor, Mr Roger Aspinall.
I'm a man of precious few words, not being intellectual like yourselves.
But I know how to run a successful business, and that's why the Roger Aspinall Academy is going to the top.
I hire the best staff for the job, give them the best working environment, get the best results.
And I'm sure none of you want to work out your days catching rainwater in your litter bins.
I hope this here meets with your approval.
Thank you.
jACK: Thank you, Mr Aspinall.
Right, well, it's that time of year again.
Let's up and at them, eh? Would you stop smiling? Well, it makes a change, doesn't it? Somebody telling us how special we are.
What's the point of training to be a teacher if some widget-making egomaniac's going to come along and tell us all what to do? Well, he came over as quite humble to me.
Yeah, too humble.
Probably after a seat in the House of Lords, like the rest of them.
Next thing you know, he'll be making laws governing our working conditions.
ANDREW: You're all talking nonsense.
jack's still in charge of spending and staffing.
Might have guessed you'd be gung-ho.
Kim.
I meant what I said.
I really missed you.
Are you up for going out tonight? I'm meeting up with some mates.
We're just going to go and have some pizza or something.
just thought you might want to come along.
- Great, I love Italian food.
- Well, it's just pizza.
Isn't that Italian? Yeah, just don't bang on, yeah? 'Cause they're just ordinary people.
I can't believe Jack's buying into this.
Maybe he didn't have a choice.
(WOMEN CHATTERING) IZZIE: Lorna? I gather I missed an important meeting.
I wasn't copied in on the notice.
Feels dead weird being back, don't it? Especially doing A-Levels.
I'm bricking it.
- Me, too.
- Easy for you, though, isn't it? Having Mr Clarkson as well as your mum to help you out now.
Yeah, well, it's still me that's got to put the work in.
Oh, don't go huffy.
just meant you've got someone to correct it for you before you hand it in.
I mean, my mum works in a bakery.
Yeah, well, I'd rather do my homework at yours.
Help each other, yeah.
Who's that? We thought you'd gone to Australia.
Australia? I did a bit of travelling, but I wasn't that adventurous.
Anyway, you two look really great.
I know I did the right thing taking myself away for a bit.
Thought you said you were going to make a whole new life for yourself, Lorna.
Well, I haven't found that bloody gorgeous new husband yet.
I'm hoping to get some tips from Steph Haydock.
Well, I think you look fabulous, darling.
I'm really glad to see you back.
Don't look so worried, Tom.
You could at least have given her a hug.
This isn't starting a new life.
This is crashing back in on ours.
So what do you think, she should've given up her job for us as well as everything else? You don't know her like I do.
This is all an act.
Get real, Tom.
As if she'd waste her time.
So, what do you think of your new hangout, then? It's brilliant, sir.
Sir, it's the nicest room in the school.
Well, this is the man you got to thank for it all, Mr Aspinall.
So, why don't some of you from Fairview School introduce yourselves? - Yeah, I'm Daniel Foxton.
- Katie Peel.
- Paul Barracroft.
- Marie Sugden.
- Emily Dyson.
- Abigail Wadsworth.
- You got a tongue in your head? - Yes, I do.
- Well, use it, then.
- For anything in particular? I asked you to introduce yourself.
Actually, strictly speaking, you asked the pupils from Fairview to introduce themselves.
I'm from Kingsmere College.
There's always one pain in the backside, isn't there? I think I'd better introduce him.
This is my son, Brett Aspinall.
Proof how much I'm committed to bringing the best to this school.
I left Kingsmere 'cause I wanted to.
Brett, is it? We'll have a catch-up later, Brett.
Thought you were jammy, Mika, having your mum and your mum's boyfriend being teachers here.
Shut up.
Well, fancy having your dad run the place.
Look, can we not even talk about my dad? He's an embarrassment to me.
Don't worry, I know what you mean.
Don't get into an argument with him, he'll win every time.
I've learned to just back off and let him do his own thing.
Not at this school, he won't.
We'll soon have him settling in.
Well, you can try.
Well, I'd better check the registers.
It's usually pretty near 100%%% on the first day, then it tails off.
- Not this year it won't.
- So, shall I see you off? I should have a little wander, shouldn't I? Get to know the place, the staff.
See what's working.
Or, more importantly, what isn't, eh? And I've got to stick around to chair this extra board meeting about the headship issues.
Right, well, I'll show you around.
I wouldn't want you getting lost.
- I'll be fine.
- Least I can do.
I hear you're also in need of a new secretary.
Yeah, I've got a temp in.
Well, my PA is looking for a new challenge.
Davina Shackleton.
Highly recommended.
I've asked her to pop by and see you this afternoon.
If she doesn't suit Right.
Well, yeah, I'll give her the once over.
Good.
- Brian Nolan? - Yes, miss.
- Janet Seymour? - Yes, miss.
- And Chlo Grainger.
- Yes, miss.
Right, that's it.
Well, it's your final GCSE year.
There'll be a couple of new faces joining us to do re-sits.
It's going to be a lot of hard work for everybody so I hope you're all prepared.
Miss, we don't know what to call you.
Miss Dickey or Mrs Clarkson? (STUDENTS LAUGHING) That's what you call me.
We just weren't sure, miss.
Okay, can anybody tell me what we mean by the word ''theme''? You can use textures Look, miss, I've made an eye out of Jordan's tit.
(STUDENTS LAUGHING) So, now it's an eye because that's what you've made it into.
- Can I help you? - Mr Aspinall was just interested in seeing what's what around the school.
Don't mind us.
Just carry on whatever it is you're doing.
- It's an art class.
- Really? Yeah, you know, creative stuff.
Thinking out of the box.
Learning to express themselves.
Play along, Kim.
We'll take his money and run.
No, he's going to want something in return.
You'll find our Head of English has a very traditional approach.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR) Mr Budgen.
You can't still be here! - Grantly Budgen.
- You two know each other? - You taught me.
- Did I? You and a few 100,000 others.
Well, you must remember me, surely.
Roger the Bodger.
(STUDENTS LAUGHING) Shh! Grantly's not known for his political correctness.
Don't you remember telling me I was the thickest pupil you'd ever come across? I tell it like it is.
I was dyslexic, I still am.
Look, I can see that Grantly's offended you in the past.
just looking at him offends me.
Should've been sacked years ago, shouldn't he? Sacked? What, you think that's the kind of teacher we want on our payroll? - Well, he's not perfect.
- No, he's the same lazy, cynical bully - he always was.
- Look, he can control the flaming class.
I know that's not the be all and end all.
Look, Roger, obviously, I'll take your concerns on board, - but staffing is my remit, yeah.
- All I'm concerned about, Jack, is getting the best for this school.
Which is why it's paramount for the governors that we can trust our headmaster's judgement.
BOY: Sir, sir.
Look, you're busy, I'll catch up with you later.
Coming for a coffee? Not if it makes Tom feel uncomfortable.
It was just a bit of a shock, that's all.
I don't want any of us to feel guilty about anything, Izzie.
Life's too short.
I know that better than anyone.
It took me a bit longer than you thought to get over it all.
The day I posted those letters to you and Tom, I ended up jumping into the canal.
- Oh, my God, Lorna.
- Oh, it's fine.
I can talk about it now because I'm in such a different place, thanks to some very expensive therapy.
Hang on a minute.
You tried to kill yourself? I knew I didn't want to as soon as I went under.
Lorna.
Luckily for me these two lovely gay guys jumped in and saved me.
I was so worried the police would try and contact Tom.
I can't bear this.
I meant everything I wrote, about being friends.
I realised the only thing that made me sad was thinking I'd lost you both.
Lorna Me and Tom have lived off those letters for months, telling each other that you were glad to get away, just kidding ourselves.
No, it was me who was kidding myself.
Trying to be noble.
That's why I'm telling you about my journey, so you and Tom really believe I've come out the other end of it.
- Tom's going to be devastated.
- You can't tell him, Izzie.
- I have to.
- He won't know how to handle it.
just reassure him I really am happy.
Please? Lorna there's something else I have to tell you about me and Tom.
I'm pregnant.
Bonjour, la class.
(STUDENTS MUMBLING IN FRENCH) Right, let's find out what you all got up to in the holidays.
(SPEAKING FRENCH) Superb! Brett Aspinall.
Oh, so you're Mr Aspinall's son.
(SPEAKING FRENCH) Let's do some verbs.
- What did you say to her? - Just talking about my dad.
- Do you give lessons? - Could do, if you want.
'Kin hell, Mika, get all the perks going, you.
Don't know how your mum can live with herself after what she did to poor Miss Dickey.
She ran off with her husband, you know, Mr Clarkson.
Who are you, then, the sex police? STEPH: Here we go.
Lorna.
What a surprise! You've got guts, haven't you? And some.
Eh, Tom, what do you think? Isn't she a star? Yeah.
Right, you'll never guess what card I've been cut now.
Aspinall used to be a pupil of mine.
- You're kidding! - So he tells me.
- Hope you're up for a pint lunch time.
- Deffo.
You've had to sell your place, haven't you, Lorna? I'm booked into a B&B at the moment, but I really want to buy somewhere.
Well, if you want someone to help you look.
Oh, yes, please.
I don't think I'll be able to afford a house, but I think going back to flat land will be fun.
As long as it's totally mod-conned.
Tom will be a great dad.
He must be so thrilled.
Yeah, he is.
But, well, you can see why he might feel a bit nervous.
Well, now you can tell him to stop worrying, can't you? All right, put your books away and stand behind your chairs.
This row.
You.
And you.
Well, I hope you'll be teaching my son his English A-level.
He's just joined the 6th form here.
That's the Head of Department's job, I'm afraid.
Grantly Budgen.
I know Mr Budgen.
This is the desk I used to sit at when he was standing up there telling the whole class what a thickie I was.
What's your professional opinion of him, Andrew? - We've had our differences.
- Don't pull your punches.
Frankly, I've already given him a verbal warning.
- How did he take that? - He's a union representative.
Big deal, I've seen off a hundred union reps in my time.
And if he's not up to the job Well, there's no denying he's in it for the wrong reasons.
He's regularly late to his lessons, doesn't teach low ability children, takes free lunches for doing a duty, then doesn't do the duty, seems belligerently indifferent either to moving the school forward or maintaining the status quo - Tom, you going out for lunch? - As far away as possible.
She's been brilliant, Tom.
I told her I was pregnant.
She couldn't have been nicer about it.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
So you can untwist your knickers - and start being nice to her.
- You're sure there's no hidden agenda? What, to try and win you back? Well, I'm sorry to crush your ego, but I think she's looking forward to not having you and your sloppy habits in her new flat.
My sloppy habits, yeah? Do you think we could take a break from the girls tonight so I can take my wife-to-be out for dinner? just the two of us.
- See you later.
- Okay.
- Hard day? - I'm looking forward to this evening.
Isn't it going to be a nightmare having to face Lorna every day? I'm sure she feels the same.
She doesn't look like it bothers her too much.
If I had to work with my ex and his girlfriend Well, I know, I'd just bottle right out.
- Did your divorce come through? - Yeah.
Yeah, thank God.
Right, so all ready to play the field again, then? Say Andrew for instance, or are my antennae all over the place? We're actually going out for a meal tonight.
I thought I'd give him a chance.
Yikes.
- Want me to hold your hand? - Yeah, please.
He just so winds me up sometimes.
He's probably going to turn my mates right off.
Well, there's a whole crowd of us going out.
Right.
Is that wise? Can Andrew handle crowds? It's all coming back to me now, Bodger Aspinall.
He was a little swine then and he still is.
Look, mate, don't go looking for a fight, yeah.
It's he who's come looking for one.
Obviously been nurturing a grievance for the last 25 years.
- You sure you should have another? - Well, I need one, don't I? To drown my sorrows at what a so-called Labour government has done for state education.
just a half for me, please.
Selling off schools to chippy little sharpsters like Aspinall.
Maybe you should make an excuse, take the afternoon off, go home.
Aye, he'd love that, wouldn't he? Thinking he'd got me on the back foot.
Same again, love.
Flaming hell, Grantly.
I can smell you a mile off.
- Excuse me? - Lucky you didn't bump into Aspinall.
Aspinall.
Here, neck one of these and smarten up, will you? - Oh, I was - What? You were what? For an English teacher, you're not very good at saying what you mean.
I don't know what it is about you.
That makes you lose the power of speech? Yes.
I've got to prepare my lesson.
Right, I'll Andrew, by the way, tonight, it'll just be the two of us.
I think you can tell from the broken syntax and the repetition of the word ''nothing''.
It just builds and builds.
Oh, be still my beating heart.
How is this possible you're Roger Aspinall's son? We've got the same genes, not the same personality.
Right, I want you in pairs to take these first two scenes and transcribe them into contemporary language, as you'd hear your characters talking in your television soaps.
You get on with that.
I'll get on with a bit of marking.
- Want to? - I'm no good at this stuff.
Well, you could change ''nothing'' to ''nowt'', for a start.
- Speak - Nowt.
''Nowt''? You taking the piss? Nowt.
Doesn't really make sense any more, does it? Well, what would you really say? ''No way, man'' probably.
So.
- Nowt.
- Nowt.
- You taking the piss? - No way, man.
Don't you ''nowt'' me or I'll give you sodding ''nowt''.
(SNORING) (STUDENTS LAUGHING) What's going on? What is so funny? Hey? Have you finished that? Seriously though, if you fancy a French lesson, want to come round tonight? Well, I'm really crap, but, yeah, that'd be great.
(BELL RINGING) Mika's like ten times better at French than me.
So? just it's really me needs to learn more.
Get to your lessons.
(STUDENTS LAUGHING) Yes.
Want to pull me up for something, sir? - Grantly.
- What's funny? Have you looked in the mirror recently? - What the - Oh, come here, you daft bugger.
(LAUGHING) jack.
Grantly Budgen.
Look, Roger, I've said all I'm going to say on the subject, okay? What does a teacher have to do to get sacked these days? More than get up your nose, so forget about it.
Even if he's just been caught drunk on the job? Snoring at his desk? And turns out he's already had a verbal warning, hasn't he? Obviously, I'll need to look into this.
Look, let's skip the rigmarole, eh? Here's what I'll do.
I'll give him money to walk.
How's that? You can't just throw money at everything.
Teachers are human beings.
You want to keep teachers like him, it's going to undermine any investment I'm likely to put into this school.
Look, Roger, if it's an apology you want, I'll get you one, okay? We want a total change of attitude from him, Jack, or we want him out.
And I should hope you want the same, if you're up to your remit.
(PHONE RINGING) I hope you're not expecting payment for today.
Been talking to Roger, have you, about Grantly Budgen? What do you think you're playing at, siding with him against me? Don't be ridiculous.
I'm trying to help you achieve our targets.
You'll never get Grantly pulling his weight.
He's a drag on the whole department.
Look, mate, just face facts.
You've cocked up at the worst possible time for me here.
Oh, we know the full facts, do we? Such as who was the scribe that assaulted me? Because my money's on it being Aspinall's cocky little son.
It doesn't matter a damn who did it.
Grantly, obviously there's some big changes coming round here.
It's not an option to sit it out and snipe.
If you want rid, Jack, just be brave enough to say.
Listen to me.
No one needs to tell me that Aspinall's a pompous arse, but he's a rich pompous arse, and I can't afford to lose his money.
All you've got to do is shake the bloke's hand and tell him you're on board.
Treneman's broken your spine, hasn't he? Well, that's me off to take a well-earned rest.
What? I consider myself effectively dismissed, and God help the rest of you.
You did the right thing, Jack.
Give me a break.
- What's happened to Grantly? - He's walked.
Isn't that a good thing? One day.
That's all Aspinall's spent at this school - and we're already a teacher down.
- I did my best to talk sense to Grantly.
Do I gather Budgen's packed his bags? Well, I've had a good day.
Better get to that board meeting.
- Right.
- Actually, Jack, they've requested governors only on this one, seeing as how we're discussing your contract.
I'll give you a bell how it goes.
Right.
Good luck with your contract.
- Mr Rimmer.
- Yeah.
I'm Davina Shackleton.
Mr Aspinall said I should look in on you.
Hiya, Jack.
Come in, take a seat.
- Not your typical school secy.
- What's typical? - Known Mr Aspinall long, have you? - Long enough.
Look, Davina, between you and me, I'm looking for someone who's going to be dedicated to this job, and I'm just not getting the impression that's going to be you.
Right.
Well, at least let me help you out of your present crisis.
jack Rimmer, should he be made permanent head? That's the question.
If you want to know why we're here, for those of you who haven't met me He had that misconduct hearing.
(ALL APPLAUDING) IZZIE: Really good work, everyone.
I'll see you all next week.
Izzie, you're not going to believe this.
What? I've just had a call from my B&B.
They've got a plumbing problem.
- It's all coming back up the sewage.
- Oh, no.
Yeah, they can't get it fixed till tomorrow, so I've got to go and get my stuff out of there.
What, you have to move out? I couldn't spend the night at yours, could I? You've got that little box room, you know, where you keep all your crap.
It's still got a spare bed in it, hasn't it? Yeah, it has, but Honestly, I don't mind if it's a squash.
I don't think it's a good idea.
Oh.
Well, you know what I mean.
I just I don't want to make things awkward between us again.
And it's not just us, it's the girls.
I don't know how they'd feel.
It's only for one night, but Look, I'm really sorry, Iz.
I didn't think.
Please, don't worry about it.
- Let me just run it past Tom.
- No, no, honestly, I can go to a hotel.
You're joking? There's no way, Iz.
- It's only for one night.
- I don't care.
Do you not think we should care? Look, I wasn't 100%%% happy when she asked.
Well, she shouldn't have asked you, should she? We're her friends.
I said that I didn't think it was a good idea.
But, well, now I just feel dead guilty knowing that she's saving up to buy a flat.
We're supposed to be going out for dinner tonight.
Well, can't we go out tomorrow night? It's your house.
I'll go along with whatever you want.
I just have to hope I'm being paranoid.
I look forward to working with you, Davina.
And like I said, what goes on inside that office stays between us only, yeah? See you next week, then.
- Who's that? - Steph.
My new secy.
One of Aspinall's staff.
- Forced her onto me.
- Doesn't look very professional to me.
You sure he's not trying to bin off his bit on the side? Estelle left me in the lurch.
I don't have much of a choice about it, yeah.
I just hope I can keep me own job.
What do you mean? I thought it was all sorted.
Yeah, well, they're keeping me waiting on the contract, aren't they? The board's in a meeting about it now.
Well, why don't you wait in the pub, eh? Let me buy you a large one.
- Oh, go on.
- Come on.
Three English teachers in the one house.
It's only for one night.
Everyone's going to think we're a right bunch of weirdoes.
- We are.
- I get enough snidey comments already.
Lorna's our friend, Mika.
You said you thought she wasn't even coming back, never mind she's moving in.
- Shall we just get in the car? - It's nobody else's business.
You're mad.
Anyway, I'm going out tonight, so I won't be there to see her.
Fine.
I've been trying to call you on your mobile.
Oh, I've still got it switched off.
Tricky situation, Andrew.
You know I'm very impressed with you and I understand you've already completed your qualification for headship.
My NPQH.
Yes, I have.
Whereas Rimmer's still working on his, yeah? Well, the board's concluded his secondment should be terminated.
The headship will be advertised nationally.
He'll be free to put himself up for it if he wants.
- Does Jack know about this? - I'll be giving him a call.
And I hope he'll be happy to resume his permanent position as deputy without any loss of salary.
Sorry? In the meantime, Andrew, I want you to take over the reins as acting head.
I'm sorry, but it's out of the question.
jack employed me as his deputy.
- Look, Andrew - I can't do that.
just ask yourself this.
Did you join Waterloo Road to save Jack Rimmer or to save the school? I'm so glad I got this new top.
Marlow House, eh? Must be posh.
I don't care if he lives in a caravan, he's gorgeous.
Must really like you if he's asked you out already.
He does.
It's making Leigh Ann Galloway so jealous.
Yeah, I wish I could go out.
Just going to stay in my room and watch telly, keep out of their way.
You told anyone mum's pregnant? No.
I don't even want Donte knowing.
I wouldn't mind having a little brother or sister, but Yeah, but? They could have at least waited till he got divorced.
Yeah, they don't care how it makes us look.
- Anyway, how do I look? - Banging.
What's taking them so long? It should be a case of just rubberstamping me contract.
I'm pretty confident I've got Aspinall's support.
Well, I'm just hoping I've got yours, Jack.
I mean, you do owe me a bit of gratitude after saving your life.
- Fancy another then, Miss Haydock? - Don't see why not.
(MOBILE RINGING) Oh, here we go.
Treneman.
jack, if you don't want to, you know, run into any of the other teachers right now, my place is just round the corner, with a free bar.
- Leave them, I'll get them.
- Oh, thank you.
- For the house.
- That'll do nicely, madam, thank you.
Can you believe this? If it got around the school, - they'd think Tom was running a harem.
- Oh, in his dreams.
You got all your stuff out of the B&B okay? Yes.
Apart from the towels I donated to the mopping up operation.
I only hope you can't smell it on me.
Actually, Lorna, you do whiff a bit.
I don't, do I? Oh, you! You can always wash it off with this, eh? Yeah.
Come on.
(DOORBELL RINGING) BRETT: I'll get it.
- Hey, Mika.
- Hiya.
This is where you live? It's amazing.
- Yeah.
Do you want to go through? - Oh, yeah.
Hi, Mika.
Isn't it great of Brett to invite us over? - Yeah.
- Great for me you both came.
(GIGGLING) Oh! Mr Rimmer.
(MOBILE RINGING) Oh, just leave it, Jack.
I'd better get that.
Roger.
All sorted? Bad news I'm afraid,Jack.
The committee's ruled against you.
You can always reapply for the job, but in the meantime, we've asked Andrew Treneman to stand in as acting head.
You've got to be joking? - This is it.
- Wow! This is brilliant.
Cocktails? You name it, I'll mix it.
I'll have a Between the Sheets then, please.
Cool.
Me, too.
Mika? - Can I just have a diet coke? - Okay.
A diet coke? Come on, Mika, this is happy hour.
- I don't need alcohol to be happy.
- When Brett's offering us cocktails? - Make you a weak one if you like.
- Yeah, go on, Brett.
One's not going to hurt you, is it, Mika? Yeah, all right.
Anyway, we should be speaking French, shouldn't we? Eh? That's what we're supposed to be here for, isn't it? Okay.
Well, how would you say ''between the sheets'' in French, Brett? (SPEAKING FRENCH) And how do you say, ''Can I have a go at shaking the shaker?'' Be my guest.
I can't believe your dad lets you talk to him like that.
Oh, he's lucky I talk to him at all.
Yeah, but he'll give you a hard time about it in the morning, yeah? Forget about him, Mika.
This is my space.
And the only rule in my space is (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) - Sorry, I'm late.
- If it's anything to do with work - Is red okay for you? - Absolutely.
So, do you want to decide what you're going to have and - Right.
Are we doing starters? - Well, we've got olives, so Right.
I will havean Italian Hot.
Oh, really? Now, I was absolutely dead sure that you were going to have a Classic Napolitano.
Anchovies? Well, obviously I haven't got you sussed at all.
So, what do you reckon I'm having? I think you are having Well, I think you'll say you're having anything other than what I might guess because you'd hate me to be right.
You've got me so wrong.
Well, here's hoping to get to know you better.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) Hiya, Mika, come on, let's have a bit of a dance.
I can't believe my head.
What was in that drink? Hey, Mika, watch this.
Hey, Brett.
(HUMMING) Now you.
Come on, let's have a bit of a laugh.
I'm up for that.
It's only fair you do the same, come on.
(CAMERA CLICKING) - What are you doing? - I'm only messing.
Yeah, well, it's not funny.
- No need to wet your knickers.
- You're an evil cow, Leigh Ann.
- Hey.
- I want to go home.
- It's okay.
Don't rush off.
- I told you I didn't want a drink.
Look, we've all had a bit too much.
just chill out, yeah? - You don't need to get nasty with us.
- I'm not, it's you! - Why does she keep on at me for? - Mika, wait! I was actually going to guess Vegetariana.
Can I ask you about your marriage? He was my best friend's brother.
Tony.
I only really married him to please my mum, though.
She was having a tough time with my brother, Chris, being gay.
There's loads of rubbish in our family, you know, stupid religion.
Anyway, big mistake.
Sorted.
Learnt my lesson.
I suppose I'm lucky in that respect.
My parents have always been much more interested in their own love lives than their children's.
So, if you don't mind me asking, any significant relationships in your past? Well, significant for me, not so significant for them.
- For them? - Well, just the one biggie.
My first stint in Rwanda.
She's happily married now and living in America.
(MOBILE BEEPING) Sorry.
- Message from Jack to call him.
- Oh, God, the governors' meeting.
No, Andrew, call him.
You said you didn't want to talk about work.
No, I like good news.
- They're not renewing Jack's contract.
- Eh? Aspinall wants me to take over as acting head.
- Oh, get real.
- I couldn't tell you before Jack knew.
- You mean you've agreed to it? - I couldn't not agree.
- To take Jack's job? - I felt duty bound.
Duty! What? To stab Jack in the back? To please some pompous pain-in-the-neck businessman? Don't go over the top.
The man's triumphed over dyslexia.
He's helping disadvantaged kids.
Come on, Kim.
It's about what's best for the school.
You're a total alien.
(MOBILE RINGING) Kim! jack.
She's on her way.
Oh, Lorna, leave that, I'll do it in the morning.
No, it's all right.
You two go on up.
I'd like to say hello to Mika.
- Oh, cheers.
Night, then.
- Night.
Good night.
Call Aspinall, tell him you've had a rethink! Can we discuss this rationally tomorrow? There's nothing to discuss, Andrew! Call him now! - Look, you're drunk.
- You are not taking my bloody job.
Hello, Mika.
Are you all right? Has something happened? What, like I'm going to tell you.
(IZZIE LAUGHING) - Just go to sleep.
- There is no way she's staying here more than one night.
Why don't you clear off to bloody Australia? Tom.
(IZZIE AND TOM LAUGHING) IZZIE: Not so loud.
TOM: What? What was that? - Lorna? - Lorna? Lorna, are you all right? Are you all right? Come on.
Come on, let's get you up.
(GROANING) No, I can't.
I can't, it's my leg.