What I Like About You (2002) s02e01 Episode Script
I Love You... Soon
Hey, Vince, have you seen my sister? Yeah, she's in Vic's old office.
What are you doing in here? I miss Vic.
You better get out.
The new boss is gonna be here any minute.
I hate the new boss.
I want pretty Vic.
Oh, hi, I just wanted -- ew, you're not the new boss.
Ohhi, handsome.
Ooh, you like? [ sighs .]
Val, why can't you just admit you're gonna miss Vic, too? Of course I'm gonna miss Vic.
He was a great boss -- tough, but fair, and we're all -- oh.
Remember how his little hair used to stick up? Mmm.
You know what? I'm glad he's gone.
Now I can stop worrying about, "He's the boss, but am I attracted to him?" Or "Should I have a drink with him or not?" Or "If I show up at work wearing his shirt, will people be suspicious?" Hey.
Uh, this is my office, right? Later, pretty boy.
Hi.
I'm Lauren.
Welcome aboard.
Peter.
Nice to meet you.
Hmm.
Okay, that's good.
Hi, I'm Holly.
If you need anything, I'm here 24-7.
Since when? Since now.
Cute kid.
Thanks.
Uh, that's my sister.
I got her a job here part-time.
Go nepotism.
I'm Val Tyler.
Oh, you're Val.
Mm-hmm.
Hey, nice to meet you.
Vic told me all about you.
He did? Sounds like you guys had a great relationship.
Oh, yeah, w-we -- great relationship.
Veryprofessional.
[ chuckles .]
Strictly professional.
Um, so, if you need any help getting settled in or -- Ooh, whoo! [ chuckles .]
Goosed myself.
[ intro to "What I Like About You" plays .]
Hey! Uh-huh What I like about you You really know how to dance When you go up, down, jump around Talk about true romance Yeah Keep on whisperin' in my ear Tell me all the things that I wanna hear 'Cause it's true That's what I like about you That's what I like about you That's what I like about you Hey! Oh, hey, Holly, how was school? Stupid.
How's work? Stupid.
Hey, Lauren? Isn't it the rule that if you finish the pot, you have to make a new one? Oh, hey, bike messenger.
I have a name.
Don't care.
What are you eating?! Chicken, and you're not getting any.
I don't want any.
Don't you know you're putting tons of synthetic hormones into your body? You've been doing the same bit all summer.
You're not getting my chicken.
Oh, I think I will.
Get out of here.
Ew, hard.
Uh-huh, do you want to feel the machine? Oh, my God, you are so obnoxious.
I'm gonna give you a wing.
I'd rather have a drumstick.
You're not getting a drumstick.
Oh, I think I will.
You are such a nerd! You can't just expect -- What's up, guys? What's up, guys? Hey, what's going on? Hey, Henry, I was just stealing your girlfriend's chicken.
[ chuckles .]
So, you guys are having a little picnic, huh? That's fun.
So, uh, you ready to go out on our date? Is it 6:00 already? Yeah, you probably lost track of time, what with the picnic and everything.
Where you guys going? Oh, we're just gonna hang out at Washington Square Park, maybe hit the Liberty Diner after.
Hey, you want to go? Yeah.
Yeah, I could do that.
I got a couple more deliveries.
I'll meet you guys there.
Thanks for the wing.
No prob.
What?! What is the matter with you?! Uh, uh, nothing.
I was just, uh, Vince is coming, huh? Yeah, that's okay, right? Oh, yeah, absolutely.
I just, uh, I just thought it was gonna be you and me.
Gary's coming.
Yeah, you, me, and Gary.
That's kind of the group.
Vince can't be in the group? Of course he can.
It's just that the three of us have such a wonderful dynamic, it should be a group decision.
I mean, it's not fair to Gary if -- It doesn't bother me.
As soon as Jill comes back from France, I'll be ditching y'all anyway.
So I got my arms around her, and I'm looking right into her eyes.
And just when I'm about to go for it, I realize Chick's a dude! Oh! [ laughter .]
That, my friend, is one funny story.
How about you and I go get us some drinks, huh? If I can get up.
I'm laughing so hard.
Yo, what's up, man? You're all over Vince, laughing at all his jokes, telling him his hair is cool.
What's up with that? It's all part of my plan.
What, to marry him? To act not jealous.
Holly can't know I'm all insecure and jealous.
It'll make me look weak.
Jealous? Come on, man, what are you jealous of? It's just she's always talking about him and how funny he is.
You know, he gets to see her more than I do, and he's a guy.
Well, I'm a guy.
You're not jealous of me.
I'm sorry, I just don't find you attractive.
What? Well, you're jealous and insecure, and I don't like weak men.
Wait, Henry, if Vince really bugs you, man, then you need to talk to her about it.
No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No.
See, I think Holly and I are pretty tight right now.
I'm just not 100% positive she thinks so.
I mean, what if she isn't as sure about us as I am? A jealous boyfriend isn't gonna make her any more sure.
Yeah, that's true.
So, I'm sorry for calling you jealous and insecure.
I'm still not attracted to you.
Vic focused mostly on print placement, but I think, especially now, We should really move more into electronic media.
What do you think? What? Oh, sorry, I wasn't, uh -- Can we talk about fun stuff? [ chuckles .]
Okay.
Oh, is this your family? Yeah.
Yeah, that's my mom and dad and my two younger sisters.
And right here, that is the greatest guy in the world.
Oh, what a cute lab.
What's his name? Labby.
Yeah, I came up with that.
Wow! Now, this is an amazing city.
You know, uh, I have a bit of a confession to make.
This is the biggest office I've ever had.
I have a little confession to make, too.
If I don't get something to eat soon, I'm gonna have to eat Labby.
Oh, God, I'm sorry.
It's almost 9:00.
No wonder you're starving.
Here, this will hold you.
You like peanut butter? Ooh, creamy.
I love creamy.
Is there another kind? [ chuckles .]
Here, ladies first.
Oh, thank you.
To the best first day of work that I have ever had.
Cheers.
Ooh, here.
Oh.
Hey, how about tomorrow night I take you out for a real dinner? Hmm? [ chuckles .]
Um[ mumbles .]
[ coughs .]
Is that a yes? No, no.
See, here's the thing.
I have a rule -- a strict -- very strict rule.
I do not date people I work with.
Well, it wouldn't be a date.
It's a thank-you meal.
It's only a date if I kiss you good night.
Hmm.
Oh, no.
Val, wait.
Do me a favor -- just think about it overnight.
And, look, if tomorrow the answer is still no, then I'll drop it.
Peter -- Unh-unh.
Tomorrow.
[ sighs .]
Okay, tomorrow, but the answer is still gonna be no.
Oh, I am so screwed.
All right, I'm taking off.
I'll see you guys Monday.
- Peace.
- Bye.
He's a great guy, huh? Oh, the best.
The best.
I can't wait for Monday.
I'll be right back.
Hey is he okay? I think so.
Why? He's been acting really weird.
Well, uh, you know, is everything okay with you guys? Yeah, it's great.
It's better than ever.
Maybe you ought to tell him that.
- He knows.
- Maybe he doesn't.
- Of course he does.
- Maybe you're wrong.
Maybe if you don't tell me what you know, you'll get my foot in your ass.
Okay, I'm only telling you this because I care about him.
Henry is having a little problem with Vince.
What kind of problem? He's jealous.
What? That's ridiculous.
Vince is just my friend.
I know, I know, but sometimes guys can get a little weird about their girlfriends having "guy friends.
" You're a guy.
He's not jealous of you.
He doesn't find me attractive.
Can you believe that?! Oh, my God, that's ridiculous.
I know, look at my perfect, v-shaped body.
Henry? - Don't tell him I told you.
- I won't.
Gary told me you're jealous of Vince.
I can't believe you feel like this.
II know.
I'm sorry.
I feel stupid, but there's something about that guy that just -- I don't know.
Whenever I see you two together, he's like -- You're always laughing.
He's all edgy and cool.
But he's not you.
Who did I spend every single day this summer with? Who did I call every single night before I went to bed? You.
You! I love you! What? Nothing.
Ah! I am so glad you said that! I've been wanting to say it for so long, but I didn't want to be the one to say it first, because if you didn't say it back, I don't think I could take it.
Ohh! I love you, too.
Mmm.
[ door opens .]
[ Both .]
: Oh, thank God! - What? I think I just made a huge mistake.
- I think I'm about to.
- Who's gonna go first? - Me.
- Me, me, me! I win.
I was louder.
I'm gonna tell you this, but you have to promise not to say "I told you so.
" I can't promise that.
All right, I can't tell you.
Okay, fine, I promise, I promise.
Tell me.
All right.
Peter asked me to go out on a date, and I think I want to go.
[ hums "I told you so" .]
All right, tell me everything -- everything.
Okay, we were working, and it was late.
And we stopped working, and he got charming.
Then, all of a sudden, he got real charming, - and there was peanut butter.
- Peanut butter? Not for that.
What am I doing? I don't need a boyfriend right now, especially not a guy I work with.
You know what I went through with Vic.
Nothing! You went through nothing! Oh, my God, you never even went out with Vic! All you ever did was come home and whine about your feelings and how you couldn't act on them, because he was your boss.
Yeah, I know, and I cannot go through that again.
Me neither, so go out with him! What if -- Okay, when is the last time you took a risk of any kind? When I asked you to move in with me.
And how great is that going? That's true.
But what if we start going out and we start really liking each other, then he tells me he never wants to get married, we go through a painful breakup, and I still have to work with him? But isn't it so much easier to work with a jerk that you're totally over than working with someone who you're constantly wondering about? Go ahead, try to find a hole in that.
Ain't gonna happen.
All right, I'll do it.
Yay! - But what if -- - You're going.
- No, I'm just saying -- - Stop saying.
I really don't -- [ telephone rings .]
Okay, stop thinking.
I'll be right there.
Hello? Oh, hey, Henry.
Uh, no, I was just talking to my sister.
Um, no, no, it's okay.
I think we're pretty much done.
Really? [ chuckles .]
You love me? [ giggles .]
No, that's nine, but who's counting? Oop! 10.
[ sighs .]
Hey, you okay? You sounded kind of weird on the phone.
Oh, yeah, I'm fine.
I'm fine.
Um, I may not be in a minute, because I have to tell you something that may upset you.
Vince is coming? What? No, no.
It's about you and me -- well, me.
Okay, let's sit down.
[ clears throat .]
Okay.
I said something yesterday that I may not have completely and totally meant the way that you heard it.
You don't love me.
No.
I mean, not yet.
So, this was just like a really mean joke? Oh, no, no, no, no.
I just felt so bad that you were jealous of Vince, and I just -- I got a little carried away, and I wanted you to know how I feel about you.
How do you feel about me? I always thought that, when I said it, I would know what I was feeling.
And I don't know what I'm feeling, so I don't think it's loveyet.
So, you don't love meyet.
[ chuckles .]
I think I'm close.
Like, I'm at "I lo you.
" So, how close would you say you are to the "ve"? Really close.
Like 10 minutes, 2 years? Prom would be cool.
[ chuckles .]
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
If you want, you could take yours back.
No.
I don't want to.
You sure you're okay? Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
I have to warn you, though, I'm gonna wear you down.
Bring it on.
Oh, wow, what's this? Peanut-butter cheesecake.
Oh, my God, peanut butter and cheesecake? Can they do that? To the best second day of work that I've ever had.
Oh, yes! Oh, sorry.
Okay, you know what? I have to be honest with you.
In my mind, this doesn't feel like a thank-you meal.
It feels like a date.
I thought you said it was a date only if you kissed me good night.
In my mind, I already did.
How was it? Hang on.
We're not done.
Oh, excellent.
[ chuckles .]
Peter? Oh, Nicole.
[ clears throat .]
Hi.
Hi.
Uh, this is Val Tyler.
Hi.
[ clears throat .]
Our table's ready.
Oh, hi, Bob.
That, uh, that was Nicole and Bob.
Oh, I sense a little -- Yeah, there's a little history there.
Old girlfriend? Oh, no, no, uh, Nicole and I kind of -- See, she and Bob were having marital problems, and my car was in the shop, so we were both feeling kind of vulnerable.
You know how those things can happen.
Marital problems as in she was still with Bob when you two, uh Oh, no, no, no.
It's not what you think.
Oh.
See, she wasn't happy.
What -- she was still married to Bob.
But she wasn't happy.
They were having intimacy issues, and she and I weren't.
I mean, we really weren't.
Anyway, look how happy they are again, and I don't mind taking a little credit.
What are you talking about? I think the stuff that we did, she would bring home and try out on good old Bob.
Kind of heated things up for them again.
You know, in a weird way, I was kind of like a marriage counselor.
[ laughing .]
Oh.
What? You have no idea how happy I am right now.
Well, I am feeling pretty happy myself.
Did you know I was up all night thinking about how adorable you were and charming and sexy? I was really worried it was gonna be a problem because, you know, you're my boss, but it's so not a problem, because you are a pig.
So thank you for the thank-you dinner, and I will see you tomorrow at work with no potential messy, sexual complications.
Uh, Val? Yeah? Last night when you were thinking about me, were you in the tub? Oh, yeah, this just keeps getting better and better.
[ door opens .]
Hey! Ooh, I like that "hey.
" I love you so much.
Who doesn't? Thank you for making me go out with Peter.
Oh, you're welcome.
What happened? Oh, he took me to a really great restaurant.
Where? Oh, whatever -- some really romantic place.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Then he did everything perfectly.
He ordered the best wine, the best dinner.
Oh, and he was so nice to the waiters.
I thought, "Oh, my God, this is it.
" Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Then I found out he had an affair with a married woman.
Oh, crap.
Why'd you come in here all, "Hey!"? Because now my problem is solved.
I don't have to worry about dating the boss or wonder what it would be like to date the boss, because I dated the boss, and the boss is nauseating.
Well, did you at least stay for dessert? Oh, yeah, peanut-butter cheesecake in my purse.
Good woman.
Oh, you know what I remembered halfway through dinner? Last night, you said you made a mistake, but we never got to talk about it.
Oh, I took care of it.
What? It's no big deal.
I accidentally told Henry I loved him, and then I kind of had to take it back.
Oh, my God! Why? 'Cause I'm not really there yet, and I don't want to say it just to say it.
I want to mean it.
Wow.
What? Nothing, it's just you handled that really well.
All mature and everything.
That's good, right? Yeah.
No, it's great.
I guess you just don't need me anymore.
What? Of course I do.
You know what I did? I thought to myself, "What would Val do?" Liar.
[ scoffs .]
I did! I didn't say it out loud, but here in my head.
I'm in your head? Totally.
And you know what? I'm gonna have more problems.
Could get arrested for shoplifting.
You know how I love stuff.
You're not gonna do that, but if you did, I would know exactly what to do.
Mm-hmm, yeah, you would.
Oh, my God, I just remembered another problem.
Ooh, what? There's this girl sitting on a couch, having a fabulous conversation with the best sister ever, and she's eating this amazing peanut-butter cheesecake.
She's totally comfortable, but she's dying of thirst.
What does she do? She needs milk, huh? Yeah, she does.
Oh.
Well, I would tell her to get her thirsty butt up off the couch and get it herself.
What are you doing in here? I miss Vic.
You better get out.
The new boss is gonna be here any minute.
I hate the new boss.
I want pretty Vic.
Oh, hi, I just wanted -- ew, you're not the new boss.
Ohhi, handsome.
Ooh, you like? [ sighs .]
Val, why can't you just admit you're gonna miss Vic, too? Of course I'm gonna miss Vic.
He was a great boss -- tough, but fair, and we're all -- oh.
Remember how his little hair used to stick up? Mmm.
You know what? I'm glad he's gone.
Now I can stop worrying about, "He's the boss, but am I attracted to him?" Or "Should I have a drink with him or not?" Or "If I show up at work wearing his shirt, will people be suspicious?" Hey.
Uh, this is my office, right? Later, pretty boy.
Hi.
I'm Lauren.
Welcome aboard.
Peter.
Nice to meet you.
Hmm.
Okay, that's good.
Hi, I'm Holly.
If you need anything, I'm here 24-7.
Since when? Since now.
Cute kid.
Thanks.
Uh, that's my sister.
I got her a job here part-time.
Go nepotism.
I'm Val Tyler.
Oh, you're Val.
Mm-hmm.
Hey, nice to meet you.
Vic told me all about you.
He did? Sounds like you guys had a great relationship.
Oh, yeah, w-we -- great relationship.
Veryprofessional.
[ chuckles .]
Strictly professional.
Um, so, if you need any help getting settled in or -- Ooh, whoo! [ chuckles .]
Goosed myself.
[ intro to "What I Like About You" plays .]
Hey! Uh-huh What I like about you You really know how to dance When you go up, down, jump around Talk about true romance Yeah Keep on whisperin' in my ear Tell me all the things that I wanna hear 'Cause it's true That's what I like about you That's what I like about you That's what I like about you Hey! Oh, hey, Holly, how was school? Stupid.
How's work? Stupid.
Hey, Lauren? Isn't it the rule that if you finish the pot, you have to make a new one? Oh, hey, bike messenger.
I have a name.
Don't care.
What are you eating?! Chicken, and you're not getting any.
I don't want any.
Don't you know you're putting tons of synthetic hormones into your body? You've been doing the same bit all summer.
You're not getting my chicken.
Oh, I think I will.
Get out of here.
Ew, hard.
Uh-huh, do you want to feel the machine? Oh, my God, you are so obnoxious.
I'm gonna give you a wing.
I'd rather have a drumstick.
You're not getting a drumstick.
Oh, I think I will.
You are such a nerd! You can't just expect -- What's up, guys? What's up, guys? Hey, what's going on? Hey, Henry, I was just stealing your girlfriend's chicken.
[ chuckles .]
So, you guys are having a little picnic, huh? That's fun.
So, uh, you ready to go out on our date? Is it 6:00 already? Yeah, you probably lost track of time, what with the picnic and everything.
Where you guys going? Oh, we're just gonna hang out at Washington Square Park, maybe hit the Liberty Diner after.
Hey, you want to go? Yeah.
Yeah, I could do that.
I got a couple more deliveries.
I'll meet you guys there.
Thanks for the wing.
No prob.
What?! What is the matter with you?! Uh, uh, nothing.
I was just, uh, Vince is coming, huh? Yeah, that's okay, right? Oh, yeah, absolutely.
I just, uh, I just thought it was gonna be you and me.
Gary's coming.
Yeah, you, me, and Gary.
That's kind of the group.
Vince can't be in the group? Of course he can.
It's just that the three of us have such a wonderful dynamic, it should be a group decision.
I mean, it's not fair to Gary if -- It doesn't bother me.
As soon as Jill comes back from France, I'll be ditching y'all anyway.
So I got my arms around her, and I'm looking right into her eyes.
And just when I'm about to go for it, I realize Chick's a dude! Oh! [ laughter .]
That, my friend, is one funny story.
How about you and I go get us some drinks, huh? If I can get up.
I'm laughing so hard.
Yo, what's up, man? You're all over Vince, laughing at all his jokes, telling him his hair is cool.
What's up with that? It's all part of my plan.
What, to marry him? To act not jealous.
Holly can't know I'm all insecure and jealous.
It'll make me look weak.
Jealous? Come on, man, what are you jealous of? It's just she's always talking about him and how funny he is.
You know, he gets to see her more than I do, and he's a guy.
Well, I'm a guy.
You're not jealous of me.
I'm sorry, I just don't find you attractive.
What? Well, you're jealous and insecure, and I don't like weak men.
Wait, Henry, if Vince really bugs you, man, then you need to talk to her about it.
No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No.
See, I think Holly and I are pretty tight right now.
I'm just not 100% positive she thinks so.
I mean, what if she isn't as sure about us as I am? A jealous boyfriend isn't gonna make her any more sure.
Yeah, that's true.
So, I'm sorry for calling you jealous and insecure.
I'm still not attracted to you.
Vic focused mostly on print placement, but I think, especially now, We should really move more into electronic media.
What do you think? What? Oh, sorry, I wasn't, uh -- Can we talk about fun stuff? [ chuckles .]
Okay.
Oh, is this your family? Yeah.
Yeah, that's my mom and dad and my two younger sisters.
And right here, that is the greatest guy in the world.
Oh, what a cute lab.
What's his name? Labby.
Yeah, I came up with that.
Wow! Now, this is an amazing city.
You know, uh, I have a bit of a confession to make.
This is the biggest office I've ever had.
I have a little confession to make, too.
If I don't get something to eat soon, I'm gonna have to eat Labby.
Oh, God, I'm sorry.
It's almost 9:00.
No wonder you're starving.
Here, this will hold you.
You like peanut butter? Ooh, creamy.
I love creamy.
Is there another kind? [ chuckles .]
Here, ladies first.
Oh, thank you.
To the best first day of work that I have ever had.
Cheers.
Ooh, here.
Oh.
Hey, how about tomorrow night I take you out for a real dinner? Hmm? [ chuckles .]
Um[ mumbles .]
[ coughs .]
Is that a yes? No, no.
See, here's the thing.
I have a rule -- a strict -- very strict rule.
I do not date people I work with.
Well, it wouldn't be a date.
It's a thank-you meal.
It's only a date if I kiss you good night.
Hmm.
Oh, no.
Val, wait.
Do me a favor -- just think about it overnight.
And, look, if tomorrow the answer is still no, then I'll drop it.
Peter -- Unh-unh.
Tomorrow.
[ sighs .]
Okay, tomorrow, but the answer is still gonna be no.
Oh, I am so screwed.
All right, I'm taking off.
I'll see you guys Monday.
- Peace.
- Bye.
He's a great guy, huh? Oh, the best.
The best.
I can't wait for Monday.
I'll be right back.
Hey is he okay? I think so.
Why? He's been acting really weird.
Well, uh, you know, is everything okay with you guys? Yeah, it's great.
It's better than ever.
Maybe you ought to tell him that.
- He knows.
- Maybe he doesn't.
- Of course he does.
- Maybe you're wrong.
Maybe if you don't tell me what you know, you'll get my foot in your ass.
Okay, I'm only telling you this because I care about him.
Henry is having a little problem with Vince.
What kind of problem? He's jealous.
What? That's ridiculous.
Vince is just my friend.
I know, I know, but sometimes guys can get a little weird about their girlfriends having "guy friends.
" You're a guy.
He's not jealous of you.
He doesn't find me attractive.
Can you believe that?! Oh, my God, that's ridiculous.
I know, look at my perfect, v-shaped body.
Henry? - Don't tell him I told you.
- I won't.
Gary told me you're jealous of Vince.
I can't believe you feel like this.
II know.
I'm sorry.
I feel stupid, but there's something about that guy that just -- I don't know.
Whenever I see you two together, he's like -- You're always laughing.
He's all edgy and cool.
But he's not you.
Who did I spend every single day this summer with? Who did I call every single night before I went to bed? You.
You! I love you! What? Nothing.
Ah! I am so glad you said that! I've been wanting to say it for so long, but I didn't want to be the one to say it first, because if you didn't say it back, I don't think I could take it.
Ohh! I love you, too.
Mmm.
[ door opens .]
[ Both .]
: Oh, thank God! - What? I think I just made a huge mistake.
- I think I'm about to.
- Who's gonna go first? - Me.
- Me, me, me! I win.
I was louder.
I'm gonna tell you this, but you have to promise not to say "I told you so.
" I can't promise that.
All right, I can't tell you.
Okay, fine, I promise, I promise.
Tell me.
All right.
Peter asked me to go out on a date, and I think I want to go.
[ hums "I told you so" .]
All right, tell me everything -- everything.
Okay, we were working, and it was late.
And we stopped working, and he got charming.
Then, all of a sudden, he got real charming, - and there was peanut butter.
- Peanut butter? Not for that.
What am I doing? I don't need a boyfriend right now, especially not a guy I work with.
You know what I went through with Vic.
Nothing! You went through nothing! Oh, my God, you never even went out with Vic! All you ever did was come home and whine about your feelings and how you couldn't act on them, because he was your boss.
Yeah, I know, and I cannot go through that again.
Me neither, so go out with him! What if -- Okay, when is the last time you took a risk of any kind? When I asked you to move in with me.
And how great is that going? That's true.
But what if we start going out and we start really liking each other, then he tells me he never wants to get married, we go through a painful breakup, and I still have to work with him? But isn't it so much easier to work with a jerk that you're totally over than working with someone who you're constantly wondering about? Go ahead, try to find a hole in that.
Ain't gonna happen.
All right, I'll do it.
Yay! - But what if -- - You're going.
- No, I'm just saying -- - Stop saying.
I really don't -- [ telephone rings .]
Okay, stop thinking.
I'll be right there.
Hello? Oh, hey, Henry.
Uh, no, I was just talking to my sister.
Um, no, no, it's okay.
I think we're pretty much done.
Really? [ chuckles .]
You love me? [ giggles .]
No, that's nine, but who's counting? Oop! 10.
[ sighs .]
Hey, you okay? You sounded kind of weird on the phone.
Oh, yeah, I'm fine.
I'm fine.
Um, I may not be in a minute, because I have to tell you something that may upset you.
Vince is coming? What? No, no.
It's about you and me -- well, me.
Okay, let's sit down.
[ clears throat .]
Okay.
I said something yesterday that I may not have completely and totally meant the way that you heard it.
You don't love me.
No.
I mean, not yet.
So, this was just like a really mean joke? Oh, no, no, no, no.
I just felt so bad that you were jealous of Vince, and I just -- I got a little carried away, and I wanted you to know how I feel about you.
How do you feel about me? I always thought that, when I said it, I would know what I was feeling.
And I don't know what I'm feeling, so I don't think it's loveyet.
So, you don't love meyet.
[ chuckles .]
I think I'm close.
Like, I'm at "I lo you.
" So, how close would you say you are to the "ve"? Really close.
Like 10 minutes, 2 years? Prom would be cool.
[ chuckles .]
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
If you want, you could take yours back.
No.
I don't want to.
You sure you're okay? Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
I have to warn you, though, I'm gonna wear you down.
Bring it on.
Oh, wow, what's this? Peanut-butter cheesecake.
Oh, my God, peanut butter and cheesecake? Can they do that? To the best second day of work that I've ever had.
Oh, yes! Oh, sorry.
Okay, you know what? I have to be honest with you.
In my mind, this doesn't feel like a thank-you meal.
It feels like a date.
I thought you said it was a date only if you kissed me good night.
In my mind, I already did.
How was it? Hang on.
We're not done.
Oh, excellent.
[ chuckles .]
Peter? Oh, Nicole.
[ clears throat .]
Hi.
Hi.
Uh, this is Val Tyler.
Hi.
[ clears throat .]
Our table's ready.
Oh, hi, Bob.
That, uh, that was Nicole and Bob.
Oh, I sense a little -- Yeah, there's a little history there.
Old girlfriend? Oh, no, no, uh, Nicole and I kind of -- See, she and Bob were having marital problems, and my car was in the shop, so we were both feeling kind of vulnerable.
You know how those things can happen.
Marital problems as in she was still with Bob when you two, uh Oh, no, no, no.
It's not what you think.
Oh.
See, she wasn't happy.
What -- she was still married to Bob.
But she wasn't happy.
They were having intimacy issues, and she and I weren't.
I mean, we really weren't.
Anyway, look how happy they are again, and I don't mind taking a little credit.
What are you talking about? I think the stuff that we did, she would bring home and try out on good old Bob.
Kind of heated things up for them again.
You know, in a weird way, I was kind of like a marriage counselor.
[ laughing .]
Oh.
What? You have no idea how happy I am right now.
Well, I am feeling pretty happy myself.
Did you know I was up all night thinking about how adorable you were and charming and sexy? I was really worried it was gonna be a problem because, you know, you're my boss, but it's so not a problem, because you are a pig.
So thank you for the thank-you dinner, and I will see you tomorrow at work with no potential messy, sexual complications.
Uh, Val? Yeah? Last night when you were thinking about me, were you in the tub? Oh, yeah, this just keeps getting better and better.
[ door opens .]
Hey! Ooh, I like that "hey.
" I love you so much.
Who doesn't? Thank you for making me go out with Peter.
Oh, you're welcome.
What happened? Oh, he took me to a really great restaurant.
Where? Oh, whatever -- some really romantic place.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Then he did everything perfectly.
He ordered the best wine, the best dinner.
Oh, and he was so nice to the waiters.
I thought, "Oh, my God, this is it.
" Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Then I found out he had an affair with a married woman.
Oh, crap.
Why'd you come in here all, "Hey!"? Because now my problem is solved.
I don't have to worry about dating the boss or wonder what it would be like to date the boss, because I dated the boss, and the boss is nauseating.
Well, did you at least stay for dessert? Oh, yeah, peanut-butter cheesecake in my purse.
Good woman.
Oh, you know what I remembered halfway through dinner? Last night, you said you made a mistake, but we never got to talk about it.
Oh, I took care of it.
What? It's no big deal.
I accidentally told Henry I loved him, and then I kind of had to take it back.
Oh, my God! Why? 'Cause I'm not really there yet, and I don't want to say it just to say it.
I want to mean it.
Wow.
What? Nothing, it's just you handled that really well.
All mature and everything.
That's good, right? Yeah.
No, it's great.
I guess you just don't need me anymore.
What? Of course I do.
You know what I did? I thought to myself, "What would Val do?" Liar.
[ scoffs .]
I did! I didn't say it out loud, but here in my head.
I'm in your head? Totally.
And you know what? I'm gonna have more problems.
Could get arrested for shoplifting.
You know how I love stuff.
You're not gonna do that, but if you did, I would know exactly what to do.
Mm-hmm, yeah, you would.
Oh, my God, I just remembered another problem.
Ooh, what? There's this girl sitting on a couch, having a fabulous conversation with the best sister ever, and she's eating this amazing peanut-butter cheesecake.
She's totally comfortable, but she's dying of thirst.
What does she do? She needs milk, huh? Yeah, she does.
Oh.
Well, I would tell her to get her thirsty butt up off the couch and get it herself.