Xiaolin Showdown (2003) s02e01 Episode Script

1
Xiaolin Showdown.
Aaaah!
Aaah!
Aah! Aah!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Xiaolin Showdown.
Omi: Previously on
Xiaolin Showdown
You have proven yourselves
ready for the next level,
Xiaolin apprentice.
I am sorry, Raimundo,
but you have proven that you
are not yet ready to move on.
I'm sick of this place. I
never should've left Brazil.
Raimundo, your performance
in the showdown
was most impressive.
And you are not even a
Xiaolin apprentice.
You're right, Omi, I'm not.
From now on,
you can find me on
the Heylin side.
He's stealing our Shen Gong Wu.
Serpent's Tail!
Stop!
Why would Raimundo take
just one Shen Gong Wu?
Because that one Shen Gong Wu
is all Wuya needs.
The Reversing Mirror is
the key to our victory.
It reverses the effects
of any Shen Gong Wu.
Serpent's Tail!
Reversing Mirror!
This is bad--
very, very bad.
Raimundo really has betrayed us.
Master Fung: This
is most troubling.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Ah, ha ha ha ha ha!
Unh! Uhh!
Ha!
Ha! Joke's on you, Wuya.
You broke the Reversing Mirror.
7 years bad luck.
In your face!
Actually, since it's
the Reversing Mirror,
it's 7 years good luck.
Ooh, hadn't thought of that.
Crud.
I reckon it's up to
us to take Wuya down.
There's only one way to do it.
Xiaolin style.
Orb of toranami!
Hyah!
Next.
Star Hanabi Fire!
Ha ha ha ha!
That tickles.
Third arm Sash Earth!
Whao-aah!
Ha ha ha! Huh?
Shen Gong Wu.
I am so beyond them now.
Let me show you what
Heylin magic can do.
Wha-aaaah!
Unh!
Ha ha ha ha!
Aah!
Aaaah!
Arrrrr!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Crush them.
Aaaaaah!
I'm gonna take my
beard out of here!
Ok, how do we fight a super
powerful Heylin witch?
We're out-classed, out-gunned,
and out of luck.
You must not
despair, my friends.
There is always a
path to victory.
Huh?
Ok, now you may despair.
Incoming!
Unh! Uhh! Aaah!
All: Aaaaaah!
Kimiko, Clay,
we must hasten our retreat.
The forces of darkness are
Already here, Omi!
My friends, prepare for
our most fearsome battle.
Arrr! Aah!
Tiger claws!
Uh, back up, boys.
Raimundo, what are you doing?
Have you at last seen the
error of your evil ways?
Dude, my evil ways are
gonna kick your butt,
rule the world,
and drop me straight
into the lap of luxury.
You got a point here, Raimundo?
As a matter of fact, I do.
I thought I'd let you
mighty Xiaolin apprentices
beg for mercy.
Aah! Aah! Huh?!
Think again, Rai.
Yes, and then think
a third time,
because this begging
will not happen.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Maybe you guys don't get it.
I'm the only one
who can save you.
Jack Spicer: Wrong!
Whoa! I--hey, where
is everybody?
Kimiko: Jack Spicer?
What are you up to, you
two-faced varmint?
Rescuing you.
You 3 dweebs are my only
hope of defeating Wuya.
Heh, sounded like he said Wuya.
He did.
Why would Jack, evil boy genius,
want Wuya, evil witch
hag, defeated?
Because Jack has finally
rejected the ways of evil.
Unh! I'm still evil right down
to my greedy black heart.
Ok.
Then count me among
the confused!
I want to rule the world.
Which I can't do
If Wuya's already ruling it.
Thank you. Ohh!
That is some mighty
twisted thinking.
But darned if it
don't make sense.
Jack Spicer, you say.
Yeah, I think.
Jack Spicer is a gnat.
We'll deal with him
when the time is right.
And that would be?
Right after we
conquer the world.
So, cue-ball,
what's the plan?
We don't have one.
We rarely do.
Really? You've got nothing?
All this time I thought you were
these amazing Xiaolin geniuses.
But you're just as lame as I am.
Ha ha ha!
Wait, that didn't
come out right.
Clay: We might not have a plan,
but Master Fung sure will.
Flee, my Xiaolin
apprentices, flee!
Arrr!
All: Aaah!
Get us out of here, Dojo.
Roger that!
Unh! Stop the undulating.
Please!
But, Jack, the undulating
is the best part.
Hey, ain't you ever
rode a dragon before?
Hey, now, come on!
I've got a bad feeling, Omi.
If Wuya controls the temple,
what's next?
Probably the whole world.
I am the absolute
ruler of the world.
And all before lunch.
Hmm, what do I do with
the rest of the day?
Whoa, this is not
what I was expecting.
Of course it isn't.
This whole conquering
the world thing,
I don't know if
I'm down with it.
I mean, I guess I thought--
you thought you
were going to get
everything you ever wanted,
and so you shall.
You--you've got every video
game ever made in here.
Oh, no, no, Raimundo.
You've got every video
game ever made.
Ah-ha-hye!
Ha ha ha!
Enjoy, Raimundo.
You've certainly earned it.
What you did to my hat, Jack,
well, it just ain't right.
Stop whining.
You're lucky I had
a light breakfast.
Ok, I'm stumped.
How are we supposed to beat Wuya
if the Shen Gong Wu no
longer work against her?
Well, ok.
I know this is a
bit of a stretch,
but what if we dumped a
bucket of glue over her?
Glue?
That's going to stop her
global reign of evil?
I'm talking a really
big bucket of glue.
I hate to say it,
but without master
fung to show us how,
we'll never be able
to defeat Wuya.
The only person who
ever defeated Wuya
was Grand Master Dashi.
Yeah, well, you missed him
by about 1,500 years, kids,
so good luck trying to ask him.
Kimiko: At least not
without a time machine.
Did somebody say time machine?
Behold, Jack Spicer's
evil time machine.
You are so overusing
the word evil.
Hey, I'm trying to
build a brand here.
Ooh! We can really use
this strange device
to travel back in time?
Well, sort of.
You can travel back in time,
but it's kind of lame.
What do you mean?
Watch this.
I bring you greetings
from the future.
Here, let me show you.
You see what I mean? Lame.
I can only generate enough power
to travel back 2 seconds.
And why is that?
Uhh, how to explain
the intricacies of manufactured
temporal distortion
to a simpleton cowboy.
Aha! Time machine need
much power to work.
Way more power
than Jack can gen-er-ate.
Did you get that?
Cowboy understand.
So why can't you just use
the Eye of Dashi for power?
Huh? Of course!
The Eye of Dashi has a
limitless supply of energy.
Uh, yeah. Which is what
I was about to say
until you two interrupted me.
Way more power than
I can generate
unless I use the Eye of Dashi.
Game: High score.
Big deal.
I always get the high score,
'cause nobody else is
playing this thing.
Tell the prime minister
it's either
unconditional surrender
or I'll knock his
jolly old island
to the bottom of the Atlantic.
Arr! Arrr! Arr!
Heh heh heh heh!
Oh, Raimundo, what's the matter?
Isn't everything to your liking?
Yeah, I guess so.
It's just
It's not as much fun
as I thought it'd be.
Didn't I deliver
everything I promised?
Oh, yes! But of course.
No, it's not the car.
I--well, the car is nice.
Real nice.
Like, the nicest car
I've ever seen.
But that's not the point.
What I'm trying to say is
what's the use of
having all this stuff
if I've got nobody
to share it with?
I need friends.
Oh, Raimundo.
All you had to do was ask.
Really? So you'll play with me?
Me? I'm far too busy
ruling the world
for such trivialities.
No. I meant them.
Play with Raimundo.
See to it that he is
adequately entertained.
There, you see? All better.
So, uh, you guys
like air hockey?
Ok, Omi, looks like
you're good to go.
You sure you wanna do this, Omi?
Time travel is very dangerous.
You could Wind up as
your own grandpa.
My safety is of
small consequence
when the world is ruled by evil.
Yeah, but don't you think
you need more Shen Gong Wu
than just the Orb of toranami?
No, you may need the rest
for your battle against
Wuya's forces.
Please be careful, Omi.
I will have the legendary
Grandmaster to protect me.
But may I have another hug?
I think he's ready.
The time machine is set to
send you back 1,500 years.
Now, I won't bore you
with the exceedingly complicated
calculations involved,
but I should be able to land you
right at the base of
the Xiaolin temple.
Good-bye, my friends.
Oh, and tell Dashi I'm
sorry about the shirt.
The shirt? He'll know.
Ok, Kimiko. Light it up, Baby.
Eye of Dashi!
And don't call me Baby.
Omi?
Omi: Aah! Yaah!
Ooh!
This is the Xiaolin temple?
But there's hardly
anything to it.
This is most unforeseen
and troublesome.
Now how will I ever hope
to find Grandmaster Dashi?
Perhaps there may be someone
down there who can help me.
Pardon me,
excuse me. Uh--
aah!
I don't suppose one
of you could help me?
Pardon me, honorable stranger.
I was wondering if you
might be able to--
huh? What? What is this?
Pardon me, honorable stranger.
I was wondering if you
might be able to tell me
where I could find
Grandmaster Dashi?
Who?
Grandmaster Dashi,
the legendary Xiaolin hero.
I am sorry.
I have never before
heard of thisDashi.
Never heard of him?
How can you have never heard
of the greatest of
all Xiaolin dragons?
He alone vanquished the
Heylin witch Wuya.
He alone saved the world from
10,000 years of darkness and evil.
So sorry.
I don't keep up with
current events.
Then you must be a lazy
bones of the highest order!
Hey, Dashi. Good
news and bad news.
Good news, I hid the
wings of tanabe
in that well, just
like you asked.
Dojo?
Bad news, I washed
your white shirt
with your red socks.
Dashi?
Nice going, Dojo. You
just blew my cover.
Grandmaster Dashi!
My wretched eyes are not fit
to gaze upon your magnificence,
oh, mighty Xiaolin dragon.
Stand up, kid.
You're embarrassing yourself.
And me.
Me, too.
Nothing to see here, folks.
Move on. Have a nice day.
Good to see you.
Move on.
Ok, kid, so what is it you want?
An autograph? Feng shui advice?
No, grandaster mashi.
I mean, danmaster grasti.
I mean-- oh, my
tongue is most tied.
Deep breaths, kid. Just
tell me what you want.
Ok.
I need the secret
to defeating Wuya.
Nutjob.
Back away slowly.
Kid, kid.
Wuya's locked in a
magical puzzle-box,
and she's not coming out.
That's why I'm famous, remember?
Yes, this I know.
But could you make another
puzzle-box anyway?
Why?
Because Wuya got out.
When?
1,500 years from now.
In the future where I am from.
NutJob.
Whoa!
You better tell me
the whole story.
And so, using Jack
Spicer's time machine,
I travel to this era.
Let's spell it together.
N-u-t-j-o-b.
So my puzzle-box only worked
for 1,500 years, huh?
Yes, Grandmaster.
Ok, Omi. I believe your story.
Yeah. So why don't
you hop back in
your little magic pixie
time machine and--
you believe him?
I do. The kid's got
an honest face.
Here's the deal, Omi.
I'll build you
another puzzle-box.
Oh, thank you, Grandmaster.
Hold on.
First you're gonna have
to prove you're worthy.
And how shall I prove myself?
I don't know, maybe
beat me in a contest?
You mean a Xiaolin Showdown?
Uh, yeah. That's a
good name for it.
Dojo, get me the Sands of Time.
Look, if you can take
this pebble from my hand
before the sands run
out of this hourglass,
then one enchanted
puzzle-box is yours.
But which Shen Gong
Wu shall be wagered?
Usually I'd wager one
of my Shen Gong Wu
against one of your
Shen Gong Wu--
Omi! I'm Grandmaster Dashi.
I make the rules.
Uh, agreed. Let's go!
Xiaolin Showdown!
Nice effect.
Indeed.
Gong Yi Tampai!
What does that mean?
Basically it means
ready, set go--oof!
Hey, come back!
Get in the game, kid!
Huh?
Wha?
Huh?
Hey!
Aah! Unh! Oof!
Aah!
Keep up, kid.
Hey!
Orb of toranami!
Shen Gong Wu?
Come on, Omi.
I'm a Grandmaster dragon.
Orb of toranami! Ice!
Ha ha ha!
Aah!
Hyah!
Nice try, but no dice.
Or should I say, "no ice?"
Ha ha ha! Unh.
I haveLost.
Ah, come on, now.
There's still one tact
you haven't tried.
May I have the pebble, please?
Sure.
I am most confused.
If you were just going
to give me the pebble,
why make me go through
the whole showdown?
- 2 reasons.
- It was funny.
True.
To teach you something.
If you're gonna defeat Wuya,
you can't go at her head on.
You'll have to try
something unexpected.
Give me the pebble.
How did you do that?
Omi, you can do a lot of things
when you're a Grandmaster
Xiaolin dragon.
You'll seeSomeday.
Grandmaster, I can
not open this box.
The box will open
when the person who needs
it to open opens it.
I know, this kind of stuff
drives me crazy, too.
It'll work when it needs to.
Trust me.
Very well.
And now, with my
mission complete,
I must return to the future!
Which I have no idea how to do.
What do you mean, you don't
know how to get him back?!
Oops.