3Below: Tales of Arcadia (2018) s02e02 Episode Script

Kleb! This is why every light in my condo has a clap-on feature.
Ah! There she is.
Yes! You're looking good, my old darling.
Oh! A bit dusty, isn't it? Looking a bit long in the tooth, but it's always been part of your charm.
Who did that? Did I do that? Intruder alert! Intruder alert! Charge your neurometers, full power.
Whatever this is, it's not gonna get out alive.
'Sup, Colonel K? I-I know what you're gonna say.
I forgot to knock.
Stuart of Durio.
I knew something stunk in here.
Hey, the only thing that stinks is your security system.
I mean, what is this? It's the second time I've broken into this place.
Ah! Get out of the ship, or next time I'll aim.
The thing is it's kind of a rental.
It's about 30 years past due, so I really should be going, huh? Open fire! Don't let him escape! Activate the ship's tracking device.
Locate the Durian and get that spacecraft back! Uh, it didn't fly before now, so, um, we never put a tracking device on it, ma'am.
He should have been here by now.
Those Durians are always late! And this is all one big rescue mission for your geezer friend? For Varvatos, yes.
He's being held at a bounty hunter outpost on the Earth's moon.
The moon? So flipping cool! Although, probably not so much for your friend.
I told you, we're at a sleepover with our friends Toby and Eli.
The lack of security measures has me very concerned.
Do their parental units have any tactical expertise? Hand-to-hand combat? Edged weapons? I'll find out and report back.
Tomorrow.
Thanks for covering for us.
Did you bring the gear? As requested.
Awesome! Sauc-er! Greetings, Your Majesties.
Your chariot awaits.
Ah! That doesn't inspire confidence.
And how long is it going to take us to reach the moon in that? Assuming we make good time, 20 to 30, tops.
- Wow! Minutes? - Very droll.
Ha! This one's a comedian.
No, not minutes, hours! So, if you have to use the john, do so now or forever hold your pee.
Seven eight nine and ten million! Million with an M.
The indomitable Varvatos Vex rotting away in a cell.
It's almost sad, really.
Sad? Every delson in here, there's either a prison brawl or a grisly murder.
For Varvatos Vex, this is practically what the hoomans call a "spa weekend".
I see prison hasn't dulled your bluster.
No touching! Stay back! Don't bother nursing those burns.
You won't be alive long enough to see them heal.
I said no touching! Why do I feel like I've heard this song a thousand times? - Ah, ah, ah! - Ah! It is Uncle Stuey's turn to pick the music.
- But I'm the - Yes, yes, king-in-waiting.
It's a nice try.
Out here, rules of the road, thank you very much.
But there are no roads.
I'm so bored! - Are we there yet? - No.
- Are we going to be there soon? - No.
- How much longer? - Not for a while.
- Like, ten mekrons? - No.
- Twenty mekrons? - No! Thirty mekrons? We'll get there when we get there! Oi! Huh.
If you're waking me up, we better be there.
Come on! You're gonna wanna see this.
Oh, lively! You know, for a dump heap, it's really quite beautiful.
Or as Vex would say, glorious.
- Ah! - Ah! Stuart! That was rank, even for you.
You know, the fact that you'd assume immediately that it's me, it's really very offensive.
According to the computer, there appears to be an anomaly in quadrant 245, here in sector 45.
- Get me out of here! - I can't take it anymore! Ay, yi yi.
A moon with low gravity.
So lively! - I got you, I got you! - Great, but who's got you? Ah! I forgot how much I love it here.
Ah! You weigh less, you've got none of that unnecessary oxygen clogging up your respiratory system.
Zadra's ship! Alpha must have taken it when he captured Vex.
Then the intel from that hammer guy was right.
- They're here.
- Yeah, whoa, whoa! Easy there! This is the Hunter's Guild lunar outpost, where the most dastardly bounty hunters in the galaxy refuel and reload.
It's also got a temporary prison.
Humans would call it a "drunk tank".
I get it! It's a rough crowd.
Which is why we're going to stick to the plan, thanks to Toby and Darci.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Let's do this.
We've got a quasar sour for Foo-Foo the Demolisher.
Ah! Another! An oxiom mead for Foo-Foo the Ambivalent.
I don't really know if I want this anymore.
I just don't know.
Well, maybe I did! And a bloody Martian, extra spicy, for Foo-Foo the Minuscule.
That's Foo-Foo the Mighty.
I'm Foo-Foo the Minuscule.
Sorry.
Small mistake.
- Ha ha.
Small.
- Oh! Bounty hunters are a touchy lot.
You have to stay alert.
You try staying alert without any peripheral vision.
Psst.
Zeron Brother, 12 o'clock.
I didn't order this.
Heads up, comrades.
I have a drink I call "the energizer".
- Light it up, Tronos.
- With pleasure! Bottoms up! Ugh! - Heh, rough crowd.
- Psst, keep them busy.
Room for one more? Let me squeeze in.
That depends on whether you can take the heat.
That one's a classic! Oh Well, lucky for me, "The Heat" is my middle name.
Hmm? I'm just kidding.
It's Paul.
Uh, what are we playing? Akiridion skelteg fighting.
Fifty creston minimum bet.
Whoever loses dies.
Kleb! Ah, that was good.
Name's Coby Paul von Crumpet.
Anyway, here's my latest catch, the Crown Prince of the planet Pooplorth.
So, who do I have to kill to get a drink in this place, hmm? You enter this cell, Varvatos Vex promises you will only be hastening your own dismemberment.
That wasn't the reaction I was looking for.
Aja? Queen-in-waiting! Shh! That guard could come back any mekron.
Varvatos thought you were What are you doing here? Krel and I thought a little rescue mission might make for a fun summer vacation.
A suicide mission is more like it.
This place is replete with bounty hunters! Varvatos did not train you to be this foolish.
I'm glad to see prison hasn't changed you, Varvatos.
This prison is a fitting punishment for what Varvatos did.
Now go, and leave him to rot.
We don't have time for this! As queen-in-waiting, shouldn't I decide what's a fitting punishment? By order of the Akiridion-Five throne, I grant you a royal pardon.
I overturn your banishment and sentence you to the protection of House Tarron.
Come home, Varvatos.
We need you.
Then I fired a thermal blast into his bathtub and electrocuted him in a puddle of his own filth like the dirty Kaygon he was.
What about you, Coby? Oh! Who? Your favorite kill.
Surely you have one.
Yeah, totally, but, you know, a gentleman never really kills and tells.
Are you suggesting I'm not a gentleman? No, no.
It's just that Honestly, there have been so many.
Um, there was the Professor in the library with the candlestick.
Uh, the Colonel in the study.
That one I did with a rope.
And don't get me on Ms.
Scarlet.
While this is all very fascinating, I have a bounty to check on.
Well, what about you? Surely, the Zeron Brotherhood could fill a supercomputer with its kills.
There was one.
An entire family we took out all at once.
Commander Vex's family? The bombing of Satellite-Nine.
Very impressive.
I watched as their cores crumbled to flexel.
And in due time, I will complete my set when I rip Varvatos Vex's head from his body with my own bare hands.
Whoa! That was some story! It really blew his head right off.
Pew! Oh! Next round's on me, boys.
- We got royalty in our midst.
- Ah, kleb! It's no use.
The diavelant laser grid can't be deactivated without the prison guard's key.
What are you doing? You'll alert the guard! I'm getting the key.
Hey, what's with all the noise down here? Ha ha! This is some rescue, really.
A little patience? Or did you forget that part of your warrior training? No touching! Varvatos was wrong to doubt your tactical prowess.
It is most impressive.
You taught me well.
- Wait, you're missing something.
- Varvatos' serrator? Oh, how he has missed you, sweet mistress of death! I can't tell if you're happier to see me or your serrator.
Wait.
Wait one delson.
Where is Zadra? Aja and Krel of House Tarron.
They are participating in a human hibernation ritual with your grandson as we speak.
Isn't that darling? I must confirm the safety of my charges at once.
Charges? Has someone stolen your credit card, dearie? Aja and Krel are good! They're awesome, totally safe and not at all on the moon.
Bye! When I'm feeling a little frosted, nothing calms my nerves like some good housekeeping.
You do realize on Akiridion-Five, I commanded a platoon 6,000 strong? Or you could try knitting.
Apologies, Commander, but I have an incoming transmission from Akiridion-Five.
Thank Seklos! Authenticate Resistance communication signature.
The transmission appears to be coming from a vessel registered to General Morando.
Seklos and Gaylen! Now, I know people like to resort to violence in these situations, but if I've learned anything from junior high school, it's that name-calling really leaves a more lasting scar.
Morando's bounty for the royals of House Tarron set a galaxy record.
Nine billion crestons.
And yet, I'm tempted to forgo the money just so I can kill you myself.
Aja Oh-ho-ho! Thank you scary lightning monster.
My pleasure.
It will be worth the nine billion reward.
Hang on, did he just Save me to kidnap me? Yeah.
Uh, it makes a lot more sense now.
You've gotta respect his hustle, though, right? Deal me in.
He's mine.
Oh, all right, I'm beginning to see a pattern emerging here.
I am Foo-Foo the Mighty! - Aw! - Aw! He's so cute! My childhood was pain! And now yours will be, too! He's mine! That's my bounty! Behold, Foo-Foo the Foot Loose! I am Foo-Foo the Demolisher! And this bounty is mine! I'm Foo-Foo the Typhoon, and it's about to rain pain.
Seklos and Gaylen! How many can there be? Well, I'm not positive, but they might be multiplying.
Feel the Foo-Foo fury! Now's our chance.
Go! Go! Keep an eye out.
I gotta get out of this thing.
You stole my bounty on Epsilon-Seven! That bounty was my wife! Whoa, you are missing quite a show.
Oh, show's over.
M-Mother! Ah! A room of Foo-Foo fighters.
A battle of the ages! - There they are! - Glorious! Die, die, die, die, die, die! Vex, wow! Looks like someone's been getting beefy in the clink.
Really digging the lats, brah.
Boom-boom! Hello, Stuart.
- Your Highness! - Run now, reunions later.
Varvatos approves of this plan.
Die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die I'm dead.
Bounty hunters! Now come get some! Varvatos thanks you for the light exercise.
Varvatos Vex! Your death is mine! Glorious! The gravity here is most unhelpful.
- Kleb! - Yah! They're mine! Hurry! He's right behind us! If we want a shot at outrunning these guys, we should take Zadra's Stryker.
Hey, what are you trying to imply about my ship? - Ah! - Oh, but I'm sure we can make it work.
You three, go ahead.
Varvatos Vex will hold him off.
We came all this way, we're not leaving without you.
Alpha killed Varvatos's family.
Varvatos must end this.
Now give Alpha a glorious death.
Varvatos Vex has long waited for this delson.
With your death, the Zeron Brotherhood will be extinguished and Varvatos's family will finally be avenged.
Glorious death! You soolian! Are you that stupid? You've been doing Morando's bidding this entire time.
Is no one gonna back up Vex and his boom-boom? The Zerons killed Vex's family.
This is his fight.
Who do you think hired the Zeron Brotherhood to attack Satellite-Nine? What are you talking about? We were under orders to exterminate your family.
No! Morando offered to help me get vengeance! He needed you to betray the king and queen.
He knew you would only do that to avenge the loss of your own family.
Morando planned this? He destroyed Varvatos's kin, and then he I nearly destroyed the royal family.
Do you think he's winning? Sounds like he's winning.
Ha ha! You have unwittingly handed Varvatos the tactical advantage.
Ah! - Any idea what's going on out there? - Still too dark to see.
Remember a little patience.
For the honor of Varvatos's family! No.
No! No! Justice was served.
You're with us.
Varvatos must admit, he is looking forward to returning home if you were to grant him that honor, despite his own failings.
Hey, we've all made mistakes and we've all lost people that meant the world to us.
But the three of us are a family.
And Stuart.
And Varvatos will not fail his family again.
- Somebody is shooting at us! - But who? Uncle! Uncle! We come in peace.
Ah! Ouch.
I thought you were an enemy ship! I could have killed you! Well, you you definitely tried.
Uh What? You said you were at a sleepover.
I'm sorry.
I feel bad about that.
You have no idea how much I worried! I nearly took up knitting! Such is the pain of raising teen-agers.
I didn't ask for your opinion, nor did I authorize the rescue of a traitor.
He's family.
We had to rescue him.
We will discuss your actions later.
For now, I fear a far greater battle lies ahead.
Loth Saborian? He was Morando's chief adviser until now.
Commander Zadra, I can only imagine the surprise with which you will receive this message.
In your absence, General Morando has taken his Omen prototype and manufactured an entire army to do his bidding.
And with Morando's Omens now raining terror upon our people, I can no longer support him.
It gives me no pleasure to inform you that with Akiridion-Five firmly in his grasp, he's coming after the royals.
Now! Morando is headed for Earth.