Acting Good (2022) s02e02 Episode Script
To Catch a Rummager
1
Roger: This is
Laughingstick in the Morning
with the Grouse Lake news.
Cousin Leon is back on the res
with elections underway.
Paul's got nowhere to stay,
but he swears
he's not a hobosexual,
and people say there's a bear
getting into peoples' stuff.
So, make sure
your trash is secure.
(sniffing)
(banging pot)
(grunting)
(banging pot)
♪ Cause I can love you, baby ♪
♪ All night long ♪
We're talking neechi politics
today as the campaign hears up.
Reminder that
Laughingstick in the Morning
is a completely impartial,
unbiased, totally neutral show,
and we're here with
my favourite candidate.
Old friend and nephew,
Cousin Leon.
Thanks, Uncle Roger.
Question.
How are you able to balance
being so funny and handsome
at the same time?
I don't think about
petty shit like looks,
but, I have to admit,
I'm also handsome on the inside.
(clapping)
Ever sick.
He's so far up Cousin Leon's ass
you'd need hemorrhoid cream
to get rid of him.
The whole res just loves him.
It's Cousin Leon mania
out there.
Cousin Leon:
What am I going to do as chief?
I'm going to build
a bridge to Winnipeg,
because the price
of air is unfair.
Bam! Put that on a button.
(clapping)
You know what else?
We're going to toss out
the white man's clock-in
and make Indian time
standard time.
Just go to work
when you feel good.
Now you're talking
my language, neph.
I'm chill.
When I'm chief, you won't even
have to lock your doors.
Okay?
People's doors will
be unlocked 24/7.
Anyone can just stroll in.
Not to steal anything,
but to just look around.
For safety, right, Cousin Leon?
Yeah.
The community will be
safe in my hands.
After I grind my opponents down,
the community will
be safe and sound.
Button it.
(clapping)
Paul: Ah, sweet. Little Fatty's
Destructo Blaster?!
Fucking cool.
(whirring, beeping)
Hi, Mom.
Hello, Paultholomew.
Paultholomew?
You never call me
by my court name!
Oh, you can buy
anything you want, Brucey.
You only want that one
'cause I was looking at it.
Not even. I see it every day!
Here, take this one.
What? No way. It doesn't
even have auto-reload.
Great, first you take my mom,
then you take my gun.
You need to just quit.
I just want the sweet gun, man.
Then take the gun,
and let me take my mom back.
What do you want, Brucey?
- I want this one.
- (scoffing)
Oh, nice!
Roger: The board is lighting up.
Caller, you're on.
I can't listen to this
bullshit from Leon anymore.
Mixed martial arts for elders.
Does he think we haven't
tried that already?
I'm going to march over there
and punch him straight
in his lie-hole
on air so everybody
could hear it.
What's your deal
with Cousin Leon?
He's a scammer-scammer.
He has a propensity to,
you know
Go to people's houses,
open drawers,
leaf through their things
when they're not around.
Are you saying he's a rummager?
That kind of accusation
can ruin someone's life.
It's not an accusation
if it's fuckin' true.
Cousin Leon's rummaging was
annoying at first.
A mild inconvenience.
It wasn't about taking things
for Cousin Leon.
It was about the touch,
the texture, the discovery.
We all rummage sometimes,
but Leon took it to
a whole 'nother level.
He once rummaged
through a kid's lunchbox.
Man: Hey!
What are you doing in my house?!
(hissing)
As a young councillor,
I reviewed Cousin Leon's case.
The band council resolution was
to kick him out for 10 years.
He was BCR'd?
I had to.
Those 10 years are up now
and he's back.
Look, I hate rummagers
as much as the next guy,
but we don't need mud-slinging
to win this election.
But I want a fluff piece
from Roger too!
Jo, you're not fluffy.
I'm as fluffy as
two-ply toilet paper.
I look at you, I see one--ply.
Fix your eyes, Lips.
I got plies coming out my ass.
♪
Man, ever since that
new manager started
this place has gone to shit.
That's me. I'm the new manager.
Oh, I was just
making small talk.
Hey, uh, just a question.
What are you doing?
Uh, hopin' to take the staff
discount for a spin.
Oh, well, aren't you
forgetting something?
Uh Yeah, man.
What aisle are hot knives in?
Your shift, Dean.
Yeah, you have a very
important training session
on merchandising today. Woo!
Hey, man. I worked yesterday.
Is this job going to be,
like, a regular type thing?
Well, you are training
to be a full-time employee.
So, yeah, you work
pretty much every day.
Oh, yup. Sure.
Thank you.
So, does that mean that I--
Yeah, Dean, you have
to come in tomorrow.
God damn it.
What are you lookin' at, bro?
Two for flinching.
(beeping)
Don't fuck with me.
(whispering)
Rita.
Psst. Rita. Rita.
You want to make
an easy $60 or what?
Okay, but I'm going to
need a getaway driver
and it better be
someone I can trust.
What? No!
I just need you to
pretend to be my mom
in front of my real mom.
Get her real jealous.
And no getaway driver?
Fine, but I need a ride home.
Fine, whatever.
If you pull this off,
I'll walk your bags home, deal?
Deal.
(groaning)
Jo, thank you for
coming in to talk about
your candidacy as chief.
Super happy to be here, Roger.
Okay, roads are bad.
When are we gonna get
some asphalt around here?
Well, the actual
cost of getting as--
(buzzing)
The fuck?
Wrong answer. Cousin Leon is
building a bridge from Winnipeg.
What is this? A game show?
(buzzing)
Band politics is not a game.
Let's go to round two.
Has your experience
as councillor
prepared you for chief
or only given you
more power to bully?
I'm not a bully!
I'm fluffy, like toilet paper.
Touch that button and I'll tie
your fingers in a knot
like laces and throw you
over the telephone wire.
But no, I'm not a bully!
Kinda sounds like you're--
(buzzing)
Let's open the phone lines.
Random caller,
you're on the air.
Beanpole: Mavis here,
remember in high school when
you told everyone I was
on my moon time forever
and none of the boys
would date me?
You remember that?
Well, do you remember that?
Let it go, Beanpole.
The boys wouldn't date you
'cause you never
washed your hair
and you smell like moo.
You remember that?
Hey-hey! We're just asking
if you remember that.
You should try being more
transparent like that handsome
political juggernaut
Cousin Leon.
He's greasing you.
He's been wearing
that same cheap suit for
two days in a row now.
(gasping)
I am shocked.
This is balanced
non-parmesan radio.
That's a low blow.
Well, enjoy your parmesan radio,
you meatball.
(buzzing)
Oh, what's this, Rita?
You're going to
buy me this cool gun?!
Of course, my little Pauly boy.
(whispering)
Nice work, nice work.
And you're going to let me eat
all these candies and chocolates
right before I go
to bed even though
I get deadly night terrors?
Put those back my boy.
I love you too much,
just like a real mum.
(groaning)
Rita, you're blowing it.
Go get some broccoli.
I say the same
thing to him, Rita.
He's such a stubborn boy.
Let's go, Brucey.
Sure thing, Paul's mom.
Oh, please. Call me Jo's mom.
Mom! Just take me back.
I've already learned my lesson!
You haven't learned anything.
Where's my 60 bucks, cheapass?
So, this is
the elder's lodge, eh?
Hah! Real nice!
(knocking)
Hah! Real wood. Hah!
You guys got bannock?!
Oh, real lucky.
You guys got satellite, too?
Holy smokes.
Well, I guess I'll wander off
into the dark bush
while you guys eat
your bannock and soup.
You guys watch
your satellite TV.
Should we at least offer him
some tea before he dies?
(sighing)
Why don't you stay
for some tea, boy?
(grunting)
Make some room, guy!
Why the hell's this boy here?
His mom kicked him out.
Fuck sakes.
Guess he's ours now.
Is that the right speed
you're supposed to be
doing that or what?
Looks a little slow to me.
(laughing)
Cousin Leon.
Hi, Jo.
I was just seeing where my stuff
will go after I become chief.
Chief of weenuks?
There's the real Jo.
Making weeknuk jokes.
Fuck off, Leon.
I've been working
my ass off here
while you've been in
the city scamming people,
and you just come back
and want to be chief?
Didn't you hear the news?
I'm a changed man.
Drop the act.
You're a clown,
and this is a serious job.
How about I make you an offer?
You drop out of
the election now
and I'll let you come back
to the band office as
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe assistant moo cleaner.
How about I make you
a counter offer?
Can I interest you in these?
And these on the house.
Yeah.
Well, sit on it and leave.
It's "sit on it and rotate."
Dumbass.
Damn it!
♪
(dinging)
(door closing)
Sterling, come over here!
Holy.
Good thing I got my tickets
early to the gun show.
Yeah, we're so frickin
jacked now it's crazy.
This guy broke his dad's wrist
just by shaking his hand.
Well, I'm calling in a favour.
I wish.
Today's back and lats day
and we're jonesing to
grip it and rip it.
M'yeah. You wouldn't
be jacked without me.
We miss one day
and it all goes to shit.
Ah-ah-ah-ah.
Get in the truck
and we'll go over the plan.
Damn kid's leaving
a mess in here.
Well, he's good at opening jars.
We haven't had
a pickle in months.
I could open that damn jar.
But you didn't.
Paul:
Hey! Whose bunk bed is in here?!
It's mine, and it's for storage!
Paul: I call top bunk!
No take-backs! No takesies!
You know what that boy needs?
A damn good licking!
(crashing)
Paul: Fuck! I broke it!
♪
Hope you're enjoying
your hot dog and pop.
(soft cheering)
One per person.
Beanpole's doing
a hot dog head count.
Okay, you've all had your meet,
now let's do the greet.
Ah, the youth.
The future.
Um
What will you do about the low
levels of education funding?
School's so long and boring.
Eight years for grade school?
Come on, it's like
a weapons charge.
When I'm chief,
I'll cut grade six.
- One, two, skip a few. Bam.
- (adults cheering)
Diploma time, baby.
Woman: Yeah!
How come you only have one suit?
(audience gasping)
Tough guy, eh?
All full of piss and creatine.
Tell you what else
you're full of.
Jo's bullshit.
(audience gasping)
Cutting grade six? Really?
How do you support this clown!?
(audience gasping)
You know,
I've seen prison violence.
Gang violence.
I even saw muskrat violence.
They might have been fucking,
I still don't know.
But this is the worst
kind of violence.
Lateral violence.
(audience agreeing)
Stop hiding
behind the youth, Jo.
Why're you even helping her?
She got us an exercise machine.
That's why we're so swole.
Stand up for a second,
would you?
(audience murmuring)
The machine doesn't
have a leg press.
What kind of chief would force
her community to skip leg day?
What else is she going to skip?
Indigenous Peoples' Day
Live on APTN?
I got a question.
How come you were BCR'd?
I've learned to embrace my past.
I even worked BCR
into my platform.
B, for the bravery
to do what no chief
or council has done before,
like building a bridge to
the city and cutting grade six.
Both are impossible!
C, for see? I told you so.
Jo's a bully!
And R.
Are you going to settle
for the same old shit?
(audience applauding, cheering)
Cousin Leon! Cousin Leon!
Stop eating, boy!
We gotta pray!
Actually, I'm going to
lead the prayer.
What?
Just let him try.
Yeah, man.
Take the night off, bro.
Big miigwetch!
I want to thank you, Creator,
for this amazing
food in front of us.
I also want to thank you for
finding me this cool place
to live as I recover from
my own mom abandoning me
on the street, for nothing!
And also, my girlfriend Rose.
She also abandoned me,
for nothing.
Fuckin' just miss both of them!
You're not supposed
to swear, boy!
Yeah, so many rules.
Sit down!
You know what this boy needs?
Is a swift kick in the arse.
Rita: Ah.
(tsking)
Dean, quick question.
Can you tell me, what is
going on with the shelves?
Uh, well, you know,
I did that merchandising thing
and then I, uh, put everything
in alphabetical order.
Just like a LeeBerry.
Oh, okay. Dean, um, I don't
think you understood what we--
Let's see.
A for apples, avocados.
Sweet, there it is!
Arse wipe.
See? He gets it.
And what does Stephen Harper
know about living on the res?
But, Dean, some of
the food products have
Just come with me.
Apparently, you put
all of the ice cream
in the I section.
Yeah, that's right.
Well, Dean, it's all--
It's all melted now.
Whoa! Easy there,
Mr. Science Class.
Okay, and you put the ham
in the H section,
and now it's-- it's all turned.
(sniffing)
Well, just turn it back.
Oh, no. No, that's--
That's fine. Yeah, I got it.
(car door opening)
♪
I got you now,
you creepy rummaging bastard.
(engine rumbling)
(dinging)
Hello, Grouse Lake.
We're going live in pursuit
of known rummager Cousin Leon.
Looks like he hasn't
changed his ways after all.
Some people never change.
Cousin Leon, turn around.
Slowly.
Why don't you show us
what you got there?
Oh. Hey, Jo.
Thanks for stopping by.
You mind helping me
with these
Campaign flyers?
What?
What are you doing?
Why aren't you rummaging?!
Shit. Can you?
Listen, Dean, I've been
doing a lot of thinking.
Now, on the one hand,
your idea to sell
individual wieners
instead of the entire pack,
that has moved a lot of product.
That's the kind of
initiative we're looking for.
Yeah, man. Loosies.
Right, on the other hand,
your decision to
alphabetize the shelves,
that caused a lot of damage.
Man, you're still on about that?
Dean, I'm sorry,
but as per North Store policy,
I do need to discipline you.
Hey, man, why am I
in trouble when you hired
a dude who has no experience?
Well, Dean, I--
Oh, I hadn't thought of that.
Maybe I need to
discipline myself.
Okay, one week, no pay.
What about me?
One week, with pay,
because I like that you tried.
So, you're going to
send me home for one week,
with pay?
That's correct.
Oh, so it's like a vacation.
Oh, no, Dean. No, this is
a disciplinary action.
Cool, man. I get disciplication.
That's not a word.
Go away!
Oh hai, kick his arse.
♪
What're you doing?
Why are you just
putting on one moccasin?!
And why is it so scary looking?!
Ma! Ma!
(gasping)
What's wrong?
Nothing.
Just a long overdue lickin'.
(chuckling)
(wind howling)
(laughing maniacally)
♪ Warriors of the past ♪
♪ We comin', comin' back ♪
♪ This is Native trap-trap
and I suck at rap-rap ♪
♪ Yes, I drink and yes, I smoke,
and I love to lose control ♪
♪ Fuck your system,
fuck your law ♪
♪ Watch me pull up,
where's my squad? ♪
♪ Squad ♪
♪ (Singing in
Indigenous language) ♪
Roger: This is
Laughingstick in the Morning
with the Grouse Lake news.
Cousin Leon is back on the res
with elections underway.
Paul's got nowhere to stay,
but he swears
he's not a hobosexual,
and people say there's a bear
getting into peoples' stuff.
So, make sure
your trash is secure.
(sniffing)
(banging pot)
(grunting)
(banging pot)
♪ Cause I can love you, baby ♪
♪ All night long ♪
We're talking neechi politics
today as the campaign hears up.
Reminder that
Laughingstick in the Morning
is a completely impartial,
unbiased, totally neutral show,
and we're here with
my favourite candidate.
Old friend and nephew,
Cousin Leon.
Thanks, Uncle Roger.
Question.
How are you able to balance
being so funny and handsome
at the same time?
I don't think about
petty shit like looks,
but, I have to admit,
I'm also handsome on the inside.
(clapping)
Ever sick.
He's so far up Cousin Leon's ass
you'd need hemorrhoid cream
to get rid of him.
The whole res just loves him.
It's Cousin Leon mania
out there.
Cousin Leon:
What am I going to do as chief?
I'm going to build
a bridge to Winnipeg,
because the price
of air is unfair.
Bam! Put that on a button.
(clapping)
You know what else?
We're going to toss out
the white man's clock-in
and make Indian time
standard time.
Just go to work
when you feel good.
Now you're talking
my language, neph.
I'm chill.
When I'm chief, you won't even
have to lock your doors.
Okay?
People's doors will
be unlocked 24/7.
Anyone can just stroll in.
Not to steal anything,
but to just look around.
For safety, right, Cousin Leon?
Yeah.
The community will be
safe in my hands.
After I grind my opponents down,
the community will
be safe and sound.
Button it.
(clapping)
Paul: Ah, sweet. Little Fatty's
Destructo Blaster?!
Fucking cool.
(whirring, beeping)
Hi, Mom.
Hello, Paultholomew.
Paultholomew?
You never call me
by my court name!
Oh, you can buy
anything you want, Brucey.
You only want that one
'cause I was looking at it.
Not even. I see it every day!
Here, take this one.
What? No way. It doesn't
even have auto-reload.
Great, first you take my mom,
then you take my gun.
You need to just quit.
I just want the sweet gun, man.
Then take the gun,
and let me take my mom back.
What do you want, Brucey?
- I want this one.
- (scoffing)
Oh, nice!
Roger: The board is lighting up.
Caller, you're on.
I can't listen to this
bullshit from Leon anymore.
Mixed martial arts for elders.
Does he think we haven't
tried that already?
I'm going to march over there
and punch him straight
in his lie-hole
on air so everybody
could hear it.
What's your deal
with Cousin Leon?
He's a scammer-scammer.
He has a propensity to,
you know
Go to people's houses,
open drawers,
leaf through their things
when they're not around.
Are you saying he's a rummager?
That kind of accusation
can ruin someone's life.
It's not an accusation
if it's fuckin' true.
Cousin Leon's rummaging was
annoying at first.
A mild inconvenience.
It wasn't about taking things
for Cousin Leon.
It was about the touch,
the texture, the discovery.
We all rummage sometimes,
but Leon took it to
a whole 'nother level.
He once rummaged
through a kid's lunchbox.
Man: Hey!
What are you doing in my house?!
(hissing)
As a young councillor,
I reviewed Cousin Leon's case.
The band council resolution was
to kick him out for 10 years.
He was BCR'd?
I had to.
Those 10 years are up now
and he's back.
Look, I hate rummagers
as much as the next guy,
but we don't need mud-slinging
to win this election.
But I want a fluff piece
from Roger too!
Jo, you're not fluffy.
I'm as fluffy as
two-ply toilet paper.
I look at you, I see one--ply.
Fix your eyes, Lips.
I got plies coming out my ass.
♪
Man, ever since that
new manager started
this place has gone to shit.
That's me. I'm the new manager.
Oh, I was just
making small talk.
Hey, uh, just a question.
What are you doing?
Uh, hopin' to take the staff
discount for a spin.
Oh, well, aren't you
forgetting something?
Uh Yeah, man.
What aisle are hot knives in?
Your shift, Dean.
Yeah, you have a very
important training session
on merchandising today. Woo!
Hey, man. I worked yesterday.
Is this job going to be,
like, a regular type thing?
Well, you are training
to be a full-time employee.
So, yeah, you work
pretty much every day.
Oh, yup. Sure.
Thank you.
So, does that mean that I--
Yeah, Dean, you have
to come in tomorrow.
God damn it.
What are you lookin' at, bro?
Two for flinching.
(beeping)
Don't fuck with me.
(whispering)
Rita.
Psst. Rita. Rita.
You want to make
an easy $60 or what?
Okay, but I'm going to
need a getaway driver
and it better be
someone I can trust.
What? No!
I just need you to
pretend to be my mom
in front of my real mom.
Get her real jealous.
And no getaway driver?
Fine, but I need a ride home.
Fine, whatever.
If you pull this off,
I'll walk your bags home, deal?
Deal.
(groaning)
Jo, thank you for
coming in to talk about
your candidacy as chief.
Super happy to be here, Roger.
Okay, roads are bad.
When are we gonna get
some asphalt around here?
Well, the actual
cost of getting as--
(buzzing)
The fuck?
Wrong answer. Cousin Leon is
building a bridge from Winnipeg.
What is this? A game show?
(buzzing)
Band politics is not a game.
Let's go to round two.
Has your experience
as councillor
prepared you for chief
or only given you
more power to bully?
I'm not a bully!
I'm fluffy, like toilet paper.
Touch that button and I'll tie
your fingers in a knot
like laces and throw you
over the telephone wire.
But no, I'm not a bully!
Kinda sounds like you're--
(buzzing)
Let's open the phone lines.
Random caller,
you're on the air.
Beanpole: Mavis here,
remember in high school when
you told everyone I was
on my moon time forever
and none of the boys
would date me?
You remember that?
Well, do you remember that?
Let it go, Beanpole.
The boys wouldn't date you
'cause you never
washed your hair
and you smell like moo.
You remember that?
Hey-hey! We're just asking
if you remember that.
You should try being more
transparent like that handsome
political juggernaut
Cousin Leon.
He's greasing you.
He's been wearing
that same cheap suit for
two days in a row now.
(gasping)
I am shocked.
This is balanced
non-parmesan radio.
That's a low blow.
Well, enjoy your parmesan radio,
you meatball.
(buzzing)
Oh, what's this, Rita?
You're going to
buy me this cool gun?!
Of course, my little Pauly boy.
(whispering)
Nice work, nice work.
And you're going to let me eat
all these candies and chocolates
right before I go
to bed even though
I get deadly night terrors?
Put those back my boy.
I love you too much,
just like a real mum.
(groaning)
Rita, you're blowing it.
Go get some broccoli.
I say the same
thing to him, Rita.
He's such a stubborn boy.
Let's go, Brucey.
Sure thing, Paul's mom.
Oh, please. Call me Jo's mom.
Mom! Just take me back.
I've already learned my lesson!
You haven't learned anything.
Where's my 60 bucks, cheapass?
So, this is
the elder's lodge, eh?
Hah! Real nice!
(knocking)
Hah! Real wood. Hah!
You guys got bannock?!
Oh, real lucky.
You guys got satellite, too?
Holy smokes.
Well, I guess I'll wander off
into the dark bush
while you guys eat
your bannock and soup.
You guys watch
your satellite TV.
Should we at least offer him
some tea before he dies?
(sighing)
Why don't you stay
for some tea, boy?
(grunting)
Make some room, guy!
Why the hell's this boy here?
His mom kicked him out.
Fuck sakes.
Guess he's ours now.
Is that the right speed
you're supposed to be
doing that or what?
Looks a little slow to me.
(laughing)
Cousin Leon.
Hi, Jo.
I was just seeing where my stuff
will go after I become chief.
Chief of weenuks?
There's the real Jo.
Making weeknuk jokes.
Fuck off, Leon.
I've been working
my ass off here
while you've been in
the city scamming people,
and you just come back
and want to be chief?
Didn't you hear the news?
I'm a changed man.
Drop the act.
You're a clown,
and this is a serious job.
How about I make you an offer?
You drop out of
the election now
and I'll let you come back
to the band office as
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe assistant moo cleaner.
How about I make you
a counter offer?
Can I interest you in these?
And these on the house.
Yeah.
Well, sit on it and leave.
It's "sit on it and rotate."
Dumbass.
Damn it!
♪
(dinging)
(door closing)
Sterling, come over here!
Holy.
Good thing I got my tickets
early to the gun show.
Yeah, we're so frickin
jacked now it's crazy.
This guy broke his dad's wrist
just by shaking his hand.
Well, I'm calling in a favour.
I wish.
Today's back and lats day
and we're jonesing to
grip it and rip it.
M'yeah. You wouldn't
be jacked without me.
We miss one day
and it all goes to shit.
Ah-ah-ah-ah.
Get in the truck
and we'll go over the plan.
Damn kid's leaving
a mess in here.
Well, he's good at opening jars.
We haven't had
a pickle in months.
I could open that damn jar.
But you didn't.
Paul:
Hey! Whose bunk bed is in here?!
It's mine, and it's for storage!
Paul: I call top bunk!
No take-backs! No takesies!
You know what that boy needs?
A damn good licking!
(crashing)
Paul: Fuck! I broke it!
♪
Hope you're enjoying
your hot dog and pop.
(soft cheering)
One per person.
Beanpole's doing
a hot dog head count.
Okay, you've all had your meet,
now let's do the greet.
Ah, the youth.
The future.
Um
What will you do about the low
levels of education funding?
School's so long and boring.
Eight years for grade school?
Come on, it's like
a weapons charge.
When I'm chief,
I'll cut grade six.
- One, two, skip a few. Bam.
- (adults cheering)
Diploma time, baby.
Woman: Yeah!
How come you only have one suit?
(audience gasping)
Tough guy, eh?
All full of piss and creatine.
Tell you what else
you're full of.
Jo's bullshit.
(audience gasping)
Cutting grade six? Really?
How do you support this clown!?
(audience gasping)
You know,
I've seen prison violence.
Gang violence.
I even saw muskrat violence.
They might have been fucking,
I still don't know.
But this is the worst
kind of violence.
Lateral violence.
(audience agreeing)
Stop hiding
behind the youth, Jo.
Why're you even helping her?
She got us an exercise machine.
That's why we're so swole.
Stand up for a second,
would you?
(audience murmuring)
The machine doesn't
have a leg press.
What kind of chief would force
her community to skip leg day?
What else is she going to skip?
Indigenous Peoples' Day
Live on APTN?
I got a question.
How come you were BCR'd?
I've learned to embrace my past.
I even worked BCR
into my platform.
B, for the bravery
to do what no chief
or council has done before,
like building a bridge to
the city and cutting grade six.
Both are impossible!
C, for see? I told you so.
Jo's a bully!
And R.
Are you going to settle
for the same old shit?
(audience applauding, cheering)
Cousin Leon! Cousin Leon!
Stop eating, boy!
We gotta pray!
Actually, I'm going to
lead the prayer.
What?
Just let him try.
Yeah, man.
Take the night off, bro.
Big miigwetch!
I want to thank you, Creator,
for this amazing
food in front of us.
I also want to thank you for
finding me this cool place
to live as I recover from
my own mom abandoning me
on the street, for nothing!
And also, my girlfriend Rose.
She also abandoned me,
for nothing.
Fuckin' just miss both of them!
You're not supposed
to swear, boy!
Yeah, so many rules.
Sit down!
You know what this boy needs?
Is a swift kick in the arse.
Rita: Ah.
(tsking)
Dean, quick question.
Can you tell me, what is
going on with the shelves?
Uh, well, you know,
I did that merchandising thing
and then I, uh, put everything
in alphabetical order.
Just like a LeeBerry.
Oh, okay. Dean, um, I don't
think you understood what we--
Let's see.
A for apples, avocados.
Sweet, there it is!
Arse wipe.
See? He gets it.
And what does Stephen Harper
know about living on the res?
But, Dean, some of
the food products have
Just come with me.
Apparently, you put
all of the ice cream
in the I section.
Yeah, that's right.
Well, Dean, it's all--
It's all melted now.
Whoa! Easy there,
Mr. Science Class.
Okay, and you put the ham
in the H section,
and now it's-- it's all turned.
(sniffing)
Well, just turn it back.
Oh, no. No, that's--
That's fine. Yeah, I got it.
(car door opening)
♪
I got you now,
you creepy rummaging bastard.
(engine rumbling)
(dinging)
Hello, Grouse Lake.
We're going live in pursuit
of known rummager Cousin Leon.
Looks like he hasn't
changed his ways after all.
Some people never change.
Cousin Leon, turn around.
Slowly.
Why don't you show us
what you got there?
Oh. Hey, Jo.
Thanks for stopping by.
You mind helping me
with these
Campaign flyers?
What?
What are you doing?
Why aren't you rummaging?!
Shit. Can you?
Listen, Dean, I've been
doing a lot of thinking.
Now, on the one hand,
your idea to sell
individual wieners
instead of the entire pack,
that has moved a lot of product.
That's the kind of
initiative we're looking for.
Yeah, man. Loosies.
Right, on the other hand,
your decision to
alphabetize the shelves,
that caused a lot of damage.
Man, you're still on about that?
Dean, I'm sorry,
but as per North Store policy,
I do need to discipline you.
Hey, man, why am I
in trouble when you hired
a dude who has no experience?
Well, Dean, I--
Oh, I hadn't thought of that.
Maybe I need to
discipline myself.
Okay, one week, no pay.
What about me?
One week, with pay,
because I like that you tried.
So, you're going to
send me home for one week,
with pay?
That's correct.
Oh, so it's like a vacation.
Oh, no, Dean. No, this is
a disciplinary action.
Cool, man. I get disciplication.
That's not a word.
Go away!
Oh hai, kick his arse.
♪
What're you doing?
Why are you just
putting on one moccasin?!
And why is it so scary looking?!
Ma! Ma!
(gasping)
What's wrong?
Nothing.
Just a long overdue lickin'.
(chuckling)
(wind howling)
(laughing maniacally)
♪ Warriors of the past ♪
♪ We comin', comin' back ♪
♪ This is Native trap-trap
and I suck at rap-rap ♪
♪ Yes, I drink and yes, I smoke,
and I love to lose control ♪
♪ Fuck your system,
fuck your law ♪
♪ Watch me pull up,
where's my squad? ♪
♪ Squad ♪
♪ (Singing in
Indigenous language) ♪