Ballers (2015) s02e02 Episode Script

1 Kane is in the building, nigga (MUSIC PLAYING) Now tell me how you love it, you know you at the top When only heaven's right above it, we on 'Cause we on Who else is really trying to fuck with Hollywood Cole? I'm with Marley G, bro Flying Hollygrove chicks to my Hollywood shows And I wanna tell you something that you probably should know This that "Slumdog Millionaire" Bollywood flow And, uh My real friends never hearing from me Fake friends write the wrong answers on the mirror for me That's why I pick and choose, I don't get shit confused Don't like my women single, I like my chicks in twos And these days all the girls is down to roll I hit the strip club and all them bitches find the pole Plus, I been sippin', so this shit is movin' kinda slow Just tell my girl to tell her friend that it's time to go.
Pick me up, pick me up Hold me down, hold me down Pick me up, pick me up Hold me down, hold me Pick me up, pick me up Oh, God.
Damn it.
Pick me up, pick me up Hold me down, hold me Shit.
- Pick me up - (BOTTLE RATTLING) - Hold me down - (PHONE CHIMES) - (BEEPS) - Hey, baby, how's your day going so far? Oh, not as good as yours.
Sizzle told Bleacher Report you two patched things up last night.
I guess I'm just tough to stay mad at.
I will vouch for that.
How was the makeup sex? You know I'm a one-woman man, now, come on.
Well, I bet I missed one hell of a party.
No, it was pretty low-key, actually.
It was a lot more business than pleasure.
Throw something down like you riding on a dick My nigga be loving that wild shit.
Hey, the fellas were asking about you.
I would have loved to be there, but you know I have to stay sharp on the job right now.
If Mitch keeps nipping at my heels, - I'm going to kick out his laminates.
- Who's Mitch? You know, that new reporter I told you about.
Oh, right.
Eh, fuck that guy.
He's a cocksucker.
If he's making more money than you and you've been there for four years, you need to talk to your boss about that.
Just go in there and talk to him casual and cool.
Yeah, I'll slip it right in between "go" and "fuck yourself.
" There's that can-do spirit I love.
Hey, I'll catch you later, honey.
I'm just pulling up to the office now.
Bye.
Oh, here it is.
Strasmore, Spencer.
Vicodin, was it? Yeah.
You have to say it that loud? Oh.
- Is there a problem? - You're overdrawn.
I need to call your doctor.
Sit tight.
(SIGHS) (WOMAN GROANS) I'm sorry.
It's a little misunderstanding.
Lot of red tape.
She's coming back.
- Sorry.
- It's okay.
They can't reach your physician.
Said they'd call back.
- They say how long? - Could be 10 minutes.
Could be an hour.
You gonna buy that? I'm a subscriber.
Hey, I got some extra.
You guys hungry? - Bring any raw meat? - Yeah, one of the burgers was rare.
Sizzle's in the conference room.
Marched in, made himself right at home.
He wasn't so fine, he'd get a piece of my mind.
He's early.
It's a good thing.
You called him in? He called himself in.
I just set the table.
Yo, that party, fucking off the chain.
Legendary.
You Anderson guys really do live up to your reputation.
We're gangsters.
(LAUGHS) How's your leg, by the way? Better now that Joe ain't tugging on it.
How's your hip? Well, it's sore as fuck by the way, okay? With your reflexes, I'm telling you, brother, this comeback is gonna be a breeze for you, I can tell.
- What's up, man? Can I have a burger? - Yeah, sure.
Appreciate that, bro.
I'm sorry I'm early.
I don't mean to barge in on y'all like this.
No, no, T-Sizzle requires no appointment ever as ASM.
- I appreciate that.
- You're very welcome.
- All right.
- All right, talk to me.
So I looked over those stock tips you emailed me.
And after hearing you talk on Glazer's show, it got me wondering, where the fuck is my money at? That's very smart, Sizz.
We wish more players would ask that question.
Besides the half a mil I got stashed behind my bedroom wall, I realized I have no fucking clue.
I'm guessing that's not the first time you've let that info slip, so I'm gonna suggest you move that cash ASAP.
Joe's right, take it out of your wall.
Point is, when I ask Andre about it, he ain't got no answers for me.
All he want to talk about is how much cash his golf and tennis tournaments bring in.
Do I look like I give a fuck about golf or tennis? - No, you do not.
- I love golf and tennis.
Man, Andre's full of shit and I don't even think he really believes in me anymore.
So he doesn't believe that you can make it back after this injury, - get back on the field, huh? - Exactly.
But you've done it before.
You've come back better.
Right? Don't mean I can do it again.
Hey, you can do it again.
You're gonna do it again.
You know why? You got an iron will.
When it's all said and done, Sizz, you're gonna go down as one of the greatest linebackers of all time.
Now, Joe and I have complete confidence that you're gonna get another contract, a better contract.
But, you know, there are no guarantees in life, right? Sizz, you ready to make a change? Shit, it feels like it, but Andre always got a way of talking me out of shit.
I mean, we're not trying to force you into anything.
Hey, you know what? - Let me talk to him for a second outside.
- Yeah.
In the meantime, enjoy the chips.
- What the fuck are you doing? - What the fuck are you doing? You really want to start poaching clients and pick a fight with Andre? All I care about is Sizzle and making sure that his needs get met.
Right now, by the way, our client list is not cutting it with the old man.
We need to be proactive.
If a fight is what we get, so be it.
Virginia, baby, when you get a chance, can you bring me in some hot sauce, please? I'm not your damn assistant, Sizzle.
Get your own damn hot sauce.
I got it, Sizz.
I'll bring you some hot sauce.
- Good man, Joe.
- All right.
We got to clear this with the old man first.
I'm not clearing it with the old man.
This is my division.
Here's what we're gonna do.
We're gonna go back in there and we're gonna close the deal, done.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
In this world, you don't just chop block the biggest guy on the line, especially when we're not cleared by the league yet.
I say we play it clean until we're officially registered and then we can just chase after Sizz and whoever the fuck else we want.
- Hey, Joe.
- What's up, Keith? We walk away now, Sizz puts it on the streets that we pussied out.
You think I give a shit about that? I've been called a pussy my whole life.
Yeah, I'm sure you have, but it's not gonna start with me now.
- You're a pussy.
- Watch it.
Don't worry, you get used to it with time.
You're a pussy.
- Don't do that.
- Pussy.
You fucking pussy.
- See, you're starting to get numb to it.
Pussy.
- Don't do it.
You crying, pussy? Don't do that.
- Sizz, we're in.
- Fuckin' A.
You got to call Andre right now, tell him you're making a change.
Yeah, all right.
Probably ain't gonna take the call, but, you know, fuck it.
(PHONE RINGING) WOMAN: Andre Alan's office.
It's Terrell Suggs calling for Andre Alan, please.
- Hi, Terrell.
Can you hold, please? - Sure.
This is their routine.
She gonna act like she's gonna go get him, then she gonna come back and politely and tell me to go fuck myself.
- Watch.
- ANDRE: Hello, Sizz.
- Andre? - I'm glad you called.
Listen, I reserved you some passes to the Open tomorrow.
I'd love to see you there, talk business.
Uh, yeah.
Yeah, that sound good.
Um, yeah, see you tomorrow.
- I look forward to it.
- All right, cool.
- Shit.
- Wow, way to dig in on his ass.
Shit, it seemed kind of cold-blooded, man.
I didn't want to do this shit over the phone.
Be better to do it tomorrow in person.
Till then, this doesn't go any further.
- Bet.
- All right.
- Thanks for the burger.
- Welcome to the family.
- Hey, appreciate it.
- All right.
Hey, man, good luck tomorrow at the Open.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What are you talking about? Shit, it's not my fight anymore.
Got my managers to handle shit like that for me.
- We got you.
- All right.
Don't pussy out.
Thanks for the invite, Legs.
I've been brown-bagging it for nearly 20 years.
- You've got to get out more, Jim.
- Amen.
Listen, um, I was hoping we could discuss the Mitch situation.
Oh, he's blending in well.
Did a very good job with the Alonzo Cooley signing.
Thank you for being so gracious.
Well, actually, I was a little confused as to Hey, what's up with the Ricky Jerret thing? Uh, right now there is no Ricky Jerret thing.
He's a free agent.
Cooley signed a big contract, so if Jerret leaves town, I want to be the first to break where he lands.
You've got sources.
He and Spencer Strasmore are tight.
Okay, we got off track here, Jim.
I'm just saying that Jerret sounds like a very compelling story on which you happen to have pole position.
Completely accidental pun.
(LAUGHS) Well, you want that story, put Mitch on it.
Make him earn the extra 20 grand you pay him.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I came here to discuss equal pay and you're sitting here asking me to use a personal relationship to hook a story.
- I'm not judging, Legs.
- Call me Tracy.
- Oh, come on.
- Is that too much to ask? Don't tell me you've lost your sense of humor.
What happened to the queen of the double entendre that I used to know and love? She told you to go get pole position on your new bitch Mitch and then she quit.
What? Legs.
- (SMACKING) - (EXHALING) - (MUSIC PLAYING) - (GRUNTING) CHARLES: Okay, all right.
No, come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
(EXHALING) - (GROANS) - Okay, all right.
That's it, you done.
(LAUGHS) I didn't know flogging was a training method.
Built like a brick shit house.
There's no way that hurt you.
Ask Pacquiao.
Shit works.
Preps you for the pain.
- Mm-hmm.
- You should look into taking up paddleboarding or something.
- What Siefert say? - He claims his hands are tied.
Things seem really fucked up over there.
Tell me about it.
I can't even get a call about OTAs and my deal's already set.
A lack of gratitude speaks volumes about a man.
- That's a good Siefert.
- Morgan Freeman channeling motherfucker.
(LAUGHS) They just don't see the market the way we do.
- They claim they don't have any money.
- I want what I deserve.
And if I got to go elsewhere, I will.
You talking about money or respect, though? - In this game, it's the same thing.
- You want to get paid.
I promise you we're gonna get you paid.
Jason's all over it.
So am I.
You have my word.
All right.
So what about me? I'm gonna set you up with Coach Berg, okay? And you buy the man a couple of beers, and he's gonna give you the truth, all right? (GROANS) I'll call him today.
That's the plan? If you were Vernon, how much would you pay me? What do you mean, like a salary? Yeah, let's say weekly.
Oh, I don't know.
Let's let's run those numbers, huh? Um, nothing.
(SCOFFS) Nothing? Yeah, you heard me.
Nothing.
If I could pay you less than nothing, I'd pay you that.
You have no idea of all the stuff I do for Vernon.
Exactly right.
That's why I would pay you less than nothing.
You should pay me to hang out.
I provide food, females, travel, fun, cars, parties.
What the fuck do you provide? Okay.
Okay, so this is like a role-play thing.
For me it is.
You're playing yourself.
Okay, I'm your main motivator.
Okay? I advise you on contracts.
- Mm-hmm.
- Schedule training.
Coordinate leisure activities.
Just last week I massaged that fucking groin muscle you tweaked.
Hmm? And I provide a buffer between you and that slippery bald white guy that always carrying Spencer's jockstrap.
Joe? He's actually a really smart guy.
All right, listen, Joe, I'm 24 years old, okay? I drove here in a $400,000 Rolls and I don't even have a checking account.
I just want enough to get my own place and not have to get permission to have shit.
Is that too must to ask? How's 1,500 a week sound? Bitch, I'm here to fuck you up Wanna make your bottle pop (KNOCKS) Hey.
Come join the party.
- It's a party, huh? - Mm-hmm.
Where is everyone? Nope, it's just you.
Mm-hmm.
- (TURNS DOWN MUSIC) - A little loud.
Mmm.
You okay? I went to talk to my boss about the whole salary thing and he started cracking jokes, so I lit him up and I quit.
(LAUGHS) Fuck it.
(SIGHS) Shit, I feel like an ass.
You know what? For four fucking years, I laughed at their horrible jokes and I played their game perfectly and they still paid Mitch more.
Shitty-ass, weasel-faced fuck.
You want me to go to his office tomorrow morning, smack him around? - (LAUGHS) - I'll do it.
I mean, I will fuck him up.
No, I'll be fine.
- No? - Thank you.
Hey, Trace, I'm sorry.
I never meant for this to happen.
It's not your fault.
But you guys really suck sometimes.
Yeah, we do.
I want to feel alive Fuck.
Do you remember how to feel? How to feel Running out of time All I need is something real Real with you You are the one, ooh Heaven is more real with you Fuck.
(PHONE CHIMES) JOE: Vern, where you been? Hey, what's up, Joe? I'm working out.
Can we make this quick? Reggie ask you about his salary yet? We're supposed to talk later today.
Shit's complicated.
- He's important to you, right? - Yeah.
- You want to keep him around? - Word, that's my bro.
- This isn't a friendship thing, Vern.
- I rely on him, Joe.
Put him on the payroll.
It's not gonna put a dent in your bank account.
Gives him a sense of worth and clears you of any liability.
If he fucks up in the future, you can just cut bait.
- How much you think he should get? - I don't know.
How's 1,500 a week sound? That fair? Bet.
I'm gonna assume that's a yes.
Yes, Joseph.
That's a yes.
All right, big man.
Hey, I really appreciate you seeing me at such short notice, Doc.
Mm-hmm.
Heard Dr.
Grodan took his family sailing.
Does that guy ever work? Ever? (LAUGHS) How much are you taking, Spencer? A couple pills a day.
Just when the pain flares up.
- So two a day? - Give or take.
If it were two a day, you wouldn't need to refill this frequently.
Well, you know, that's the give or take part.
(LAUGHS) It's a series two drug now.
This type of volume puts us both at risk.
I I'm not at risk.
Abusing these pills can lead to serious kidney and liver damage.
- I'm not abusing.
- Not to mention depression, mood swings, aggression.
Hey, I just banged up my hip a little bit and I just need something to ease the pain, that's all.
How did you injure it? Tennis.
Yeah, I got real aggressive on my backhand volley.
Old habit.
Did you come in and see someone about it? For a tennis injury? No.
Come on, Doc.
I'm a football player.
(LAUGHS) I can't have that shit out in the streets.
I got a rep to protect.
Plus I'm a man of pride.
You know that.
I'm not comfortable writing any more prescriptions for you, Spencer.
I'm in pain pretty much all the fucking time.
And the medication and my job are the only things that keep my mind off it.
So if you could just write me a scrip this one time so I can go back to work and I can finally put this stabbing sensation that's on the entire left side of my body to rest just for a while.
Please.
I'm gonna write you one scrip.
- 20 pills.
- Mm-hmm.
Your one condition is to have a full examination within the next 10 days.
- That's right.
- Until that happens and we fix the problem, no more medication from me, Spencer.
Yeah, no, I got it.
No more from you, 10 days, we're gonna fix the problem.
- But we're gonna do it together.
- I'm serious.
So am I.
I'm serious, too.
Thank you so much.
It's always a pleasure.
TTD: San Diego.
Beautiful beaches, bikini-clad bitches, and my bolo tie-wearing brother from another mother, - Philip Rivers.
- JASON: Rivers can sling it.
And they could be moving to LA.
I got female problems in both locations.
Pass.
The Mile "High" City.
Super Bowl champs where the weed is legal - and the fans are passionate.
- And hungry.
Denver's barely got any black people, all right? Come on, Jason, T knows that.
Pass.
They ain't got no black people, but the weed But the weed is legal.
I don't smoke.
Pass.
Buffalo got cap room.
Rex is a player's coach and they have seriously upgraded their talent.
0 for four in Super Bowls.
You bring a ring to Buffalo, you will be a god, Ricky.
Look at the snow, Ricky.
Remember what it was like in December in Green Bay? Same shit in Buffalo without Aaron Rodgers.
- (SIGHS) Tyrod could be for real.
- Yes, he could be.
He could be the franchise quarterback that they've been waiting for.
Let's put it on the back burner.
Put it on the back burner.
- Even with the snow? - Mark it down.
- It's on the back burner.
- Who's next? TTD: The most dominant franchise in football.
Four titles in the last 15 years.
13 AFC East titles during that same span and a chance to take a dump on the Dolphins twice a year.
TTD: Two times a year.
- Pass.
- Huh? Come on, man, the hoodie is cooler than you think.
Zero tolerance ain't a good fit for me.
Who's next? The Big Sleazy.
Cajun crawfish, beignets, Bourbon Street, Jazz Fest, Drew Brees and Coach Payton.
Sean Payton is a genius offensive mind, all right, and they are in need of playmakers.
You are a playmaker.
Big Easy, huh? It's one hell of a football town, Rick.
They love them some Saints.
Did I mention that weed was legal in Denver? - RICKY: Pass.
- JASON: He don't smoke.
Oh, running for your life, by the knife Running from your wife, yikes You should have stuck with home Pump your mind to blow your dome It was you that chose your doom You built a maze you can't get through I tried to help you all I can REGGIE: Stay low, Vern.
Oh, fucking mosquitoes.
God damn, I hate this shit.
You know I pulled a fucking tick off my ball sack at snack time? Quiet, Reg.
Enemy's right over there.
You give the salary thing a think? Yeah, it's a good idea.
Good.
Good.
Great.
- How much you want? - How much you willing to shell out? - You the one asking.
- You the one paying.
All right, say it at the same time on three.
- Ready? - I'm ready.
One, two, three.
- 800.
- 3,000.
- What? - What? 3,000? Hell, no.
You tripping, Reg.
If Siefert is gonna drop the sickle, I would just rather know right now.
Why are you so dramatic? Are you appreciated? Yes, of course you're appreciated.
Your leadership in the huddle.
- Your leadership in the locker room.
- Yeah.
- You're very much appreciated.
- Yes.
- Yes.
- Yes.
But? But Kovac is healthy again, okay? He's younger than you, he's a little bit faster than you, and he's a whole fuckload of a lot cheaper than you, okay? So now, listen, there's an opening on the right side.
I want you to move over and I want you to try it out.
- You want to try me? - Yes.
- On the right side? - Correct.
I've been banging heads in this league for 12 years, Coach.
I protected your little candy ass quarterback's $96 million ass, didn't I? - Did he get hurt? - No, he didn't.
- No, because I had his blind side.
- Yes, you did.
And now here you go moving me to right tackle? I'm not moving you.
I'm asking you to do something very, very, very few athletes could do.
Charles, this is a real opportunity for you and it's your choice.
You either go onto the right side or you go back home and it's "SportsCenter" with your dick in your left hand and a big old jug of Kaopectate in your right hand.
Now you want another round? Yeah.
Charlie, two.
(MUSIC PLAYING) - (GRUNTING) - (APPLAUSE) (GRUNTING) (APPLAUSE) (GRUNTING) JOE: I like that I feel uncomfortable around this many white people these days.
(LAUGHS) You got soul now, Joe.
Hope they have a buffet.
I'm starving.
Hey, I love your confidence, man, and I want to build this division as badly as you do, but Miami wealth is on a whole other level.
I mean, they've got money to burn, resources we don't have, you know? They're the top firm in Miami.
Maybe we should ask ourselves one more time, just take a quick moment to ask ourselves if we should be doing this.
Okay.
(SIGHS) Yes.
- Get our tickets.
- Not as quick.
Let's do another one, but not as quick.
- 1,000 bucks I don't fit in this beautiful Pagani.
- I'll double that.
The two tickets under Terrell Suggs, please.
- All right.
- Are you Vin Diesel? No, I'm bigger and better-looking.
Come on, Vin, don't mess with the kid.
- Yes, this is Vin Diesel.
- Wow.
- I'm Bruce Willis, actually.
Yeah.
Thank you.
- Let's go, Bruce.
- (GRUNTING) - JOE: Do you hear the noises she's making when she hits the ball? I'd fuck her.
I'd fuck her, too.
This game is so sexual, huh? I'd do both of them.
I love tennis now.
Shit.
Hey, Joe.
I need you to do something for me.
I'm sorry, giving you life after football wasn't enough? I need you to clock me.
Get the fuck out of here.
No, no, no, I'm serious.
It's my pregame ritual.
Helps kill the butterflies.
I need you to clock me.
Oh, now you're nervous? No, it just gets the competitive juices oh! I assumed you wanted open hand.
I mean, I can ball it up for you if you want.
- That's quite enough.
- Sandwich style.
- No sandwich.
- All right.
Buddy, there's something else I got to tell you.
You and Andre were lovers.
I fucking knew it.
No, no, but we do have history.
He mismanaged my money and we had a really bad breakup.
So is this personal or is this business? It's a little bit of both.
You want to hit me again? - No, let's go do this.
- My man.
- (GUNFIRE) - (PEOPLE SHOUTING) (PANTING) Fucking paintball.
(SHOUTING CONTINUES) 800 a week, my ant-infested ass.
(GROANS, SCREAMS) - Fuck! - Vern! - Here, Vern, you all right? - Ah, fuck! - Vern? - My fucking leg! (GROANING) - Ah, motherfucker! - Oh, my God, Nate, what did you do? (GROANING) (THUNDER RUMBLING) - We're here to see Mr.
Alan.
- Gentlemen.
Mr.
Alan is right over there.
- Ah, the Sizzle boys brought the weather.
- Hello.
- This is Caroline Wozniacki, of course.
- Sure.
This is the main reason I wanted to be in the tennis business right here.
As you know, we started the Biscayne Open together years ago.
Yeah, he seems to forget it was my idea, especially while he was negotiating my appearance fee.
- Sounds like a classic conflict of interest.
- No, I don't think so.
If you look at her earning statement, there's zero conflict.
- If you want to hit some balls sometime, let me know.
- I'll be in touch.
Bye.
- Want to sit down? - Yeah.
Listen, I read in the paper that Anderson had moved shop recently.
- Yeah, only our division.
- Yeah, we're at the Related now down by the river mouth.
Oh, yes.
I got some properties down here.
That's nice and quaint there at the mouth of the river.
- Champagne? - I'm good, thank you.
Oh, I'll take his.
Okay, let's cut to the chase.
Let's talk about the Sizz.
It's just Sizz, actually.
I like to call him the Sizz because I like to personalize things.
Yeah, me, too.
I call him the Spence.
Hates it.
Yeah, well, the Sizz, he's one of my most important football clients.
We are doing some very important business deals, so I'd be very careful.
Well, Sizz says he feels neglected.
(LAUGHS) So does my wife.
So I will tell you and the Sizz what I tell her.
I've got a lot of things going on.
Obviously.
We know that.
I mean, this place is sweet.
Listen, I know you guys got this little Frick and Frack thing going on with the players.
You got the good-times approach to them.
You got the wild parties.
You know, you're one of the guys, you're charming, you're up front.
One of you is good-looking.
Please, you're embarrassing me.
But here's the deal.
I don't have a lot of love for guys who want to waltz into my backyard and hang a shingle.
I've been doing this thing for 20 years and you've been doing, what, 20 minutes, and you think you're gonna steal one of my clients? I don't lose clients.
I don't lose, period.
So the Sizz stays where he is.
Well, maybe we can call Sizz now, see what he thinks.
He doesn't know what he thinks.
He's a football player.
You sound very worried, Andre.
Maybe you don't understand your clients as well as you think you do.
Maybe they need somebody who does.
No, what they need is someone to protect and grow their money.
So if they think you're the guy for that, you and I both know rather clearly that they're gonna be deeply disappointed.
Okay.
Well, thanks so much for your time.
And on behalf of Sizz and all the other football players out there, you're fucking fired.
Softly as if I played piano in the dark Found a way to channel my anger, not to embark The world's a stage and everybody gots to play they part God with the signal clear as day, put my Glock Put my Glock away, I got a stronger weapon That never runs out of ammunition So I'm ready for war, okay More ready, war ready More ready, war ready More ready, war ready War ready, your boys look sure ready My bitch look like Mona Lisa Hammers busting like a soda in the freezer Think of heading to Ibiza, need a breather from the tripping Neither Dad or my brains get silly Bite the bullet trying to fight the feeling Fuck around and pull it, push it to the limit Ain't a thing to a G, life gives lemons Nigga hang from a tree Cold game all came in a dream Woke up feeling like the walls caved in Fought to the death, never gave in Write that on the grave, got to get it laid in Heavy hail, freed, jailed, same shit County jail bust like ships, same shit Wise man once said That a black man better off dead So I'm war ready, war ready.