Betty (2020) s02e02 Episode Script

1
As some of you may have heard,
we've lost our elites.
Which means that you
and everybody else
has to bounce.
Ma'am, you need to put on a mask
or you need to leave.
You can't even
cover up your belly.
You look like a prostitute.
I don't breathe
-out of my bellybutton!
-Ow! Ow!
Damn girl, you bringin'
all that cake to the party,
you ain't save me a slice?
SPEAKER: We're probably
gonna do a new girls' line,
or maybe even a girls' team.
So, if you're interested,
I'll pull you some gear.
You look like a thot.
These men are like rich, rich.
Like, you talk to them,
you listen to them,
it's that easy.
ASH: I know you're supposed
to pick someone
you can actually hook up with.
HONEYBEAR: She's hot.
Wait, I think she's
coming over here.
What about the ribs?
Everything's getting tossed
the next 48.
If you can manage to get 'em
out of here before then,
they're all yours.
[TV static drones]
[bright tone]
- Come here.
- I wanna freek you ♪
[Jodeci's "Freek'n You"
playing]
- I wanna freek you ♪
♪
Every time I close my eyes ♪
I wake up feelin' so horny ♪
I can't get you
outta my mind ♪
'Cause sexin' you be
all I see ♪
I would give anything ♪
Just to make you
understand me ♪
- [moans]
- I don't give a damn
about nothing else ♪
Freek'n you is all I need ♪
[smooching]
Tonight, I need your body ♪
Tonight, you got my time ♪
Girl, whatever you want,
I would give it, baby ♪
- Lay back.
- Yeah, ooh, ee ♪
Tonight, you got my mind ♪
You got my mind ♪
- [exhales softly]
- What must I say,
oh, tell me ♪
- You're beautiful.
You know that, right?
- Uh, I guess?
- Lickin' you all over
your body ♪
Body, body, baby baby ♪
I think about freek'n you,
baby ♪
What must I say,
tell me ♪
What must I do ♪
To show how much ♪
I think about freek'n ♪
- [panting]
- What did you think?
- It wasinteresting.
- What?
[laughs softly]
- You guys were up
late last night.
- [laughs]
I loved watching
you two together.
- Oh, yeah?
- You're so hot sometimes,
I can't stand it.
[chuckles]
Well, would you wanna
see her again?
- Maybe.
- Sorry, I'm not sorry ♪
I don't mean to offend,
but I can't pretend ♪
That I ain't got a body ♪
So sorry,
but you don't own me ♪
If you're not comfortable
with the way I do ♪
Then you ain't gotta copy ♪
Freedom's taking over ♪
♪
Take that shirt
right off my shoulder ♪
♪
I just wanna
free my titties ♪
They just wanna be free ♪
I just wanna
free my titties ♪
They just wanna be free ♪
- All right, thanks Cecile.
Next, please.
Next, next.
- Yo, can I get this?
Damn, my fault.
Was you in line?
- Yeah.
- Relax.
- That's why I fucking
answered.
[sucks teeth]
Can you spit in his sandwich?
- Oh, no,
we don't do that anymore now.
- What?
Since when you stopped
doing that?
Damn.
- What's up?
Let me just get this.
- Son, can you have respect
when you pass me money?
You can't throw money
to my face like that.
- What's up?
- Have respect
for yourself, son.
- Oh.
We're day drinking now?
- What's "day"?
It's a pandemic.
- Pardon me,
what are you doing now?
- What?
- You can't open a beer inside.
That is something
you can't drink.
Step outside now.
- What the fuck?
- I said step outside!
- Why's everybody fucking
coming for me, yo?
- I already said step outside,
motherfucker.
No drinking
inside the store!
No drinking, motherfucker!
[unintelligible], no respect?
- Hey, what's up?
- Hey.
- What's up?
- Hey.
- [exhales]
- You guys, where are we gonna
take these ramps?
We only have 48 hours.
- I don't know.
- I was trying to think
of somewhere, but
- We need someplace indoors.
- Yo, my homegirl got some keys
to the Picnic House
in Prospect Park.
- I don't think we can bring
a bunch of heavy shit there.
- Okay, guys,
I got place for you.
- Where?
- You do?
- Oh, I'm sorry, just kidding.
Just put your mask on,
and go outside, let's go.
both: What?
- [unintelligible] mask,
in and out!
- Wow.
- Now get the fuck
out, man.
Out!
Let's go!
- Love you, Deli Mama.
- Bye.
- [laughs]
- Love you, guys.
[soft piano music playing]
♪
- So, uh, Zelda, tell me.
What is it that you do?
- I'm a beekeeper.
- Oh, yeah?
Oh, yeah, that's pretty
interesting.
Uh, what kind of bees
do you keep?
- The bumble kind.
- Really?
Oh, all right.
- So when are we getting paid?
- [chuckles]
Uh
- What she means is, when are
you gonna give us our gift?
- Yeah--uh, well, you know,
if you ladies wanna do this
again tomorrow,
I am a very, very busy bee.
- [laughs]
- As you would imagine.
Uh, but if you two wanna
give me a buzz
- [laughs]
I'm down.
- All right.
Buzz, buzz.
- Check it out.
- Damn, this spot is big.
- Wow.
- Welcome to the big time!
- I was not expecting this.
- This place used to belong to
the guy, the Fyre Festival guy.
Not Ja Rule, the other guy.
That's how we got
such a good deal on it.
- Okay.
- Check it out.
You got the brushed
concrete floors.
You got a half bath,
whatever that is.
- [laughs]
- And, uh, yeah.
Place is incredible.
- Oh, my gosh.
- Shit's big.
- Sick, right?
- Yeah.
- Shit is crazy.
- What'd I tell you?
- Damn, you're a lifesaver.
- You guys are fam,
and I'm gonna knock off
half my fee.
How's that sound?
- Fee?
- What?
- What you mean, fee?
- What do you mean,
what do you mean?
- Check this shit out.
- Hello?
- $15,000 a month?
- [scoffs]
- What?
- Fucking Farouk!
I thought that you said
you could hook us up.
- I am hooking you up.
You know how hard it is to get
a showing during COVID?
You're lucky
it's not a virtual tour.
Want me to get that paperwork
started or what?
- Dude, of course not!
- Such a waste
of our fucking time.
- Yeah, tell me about it,
buddy.
Hey, whoa, whoa!
Hey, the floor!
Stop!
That's brushed concrete, man!
Hey, hey!
- [sighs]
This is fucking bullshit.
- [scoffs]
I mean, you're telling me.
That is your friend.
- Oh.
Do you have any better ideas?
- All out.
- Hey, stop, hey, the floors!
Come on.
- You have snacks?
- Yes.
- Guys never have snacks.
- What's that supposed
to even mean?
Hold up.
I'm not "guys."
Plus, it's a fucking LUNA bar.
Like, I can't eat
the whole thing by myself.
I'd probably grow titties
or some shit.
- What?
- Yeah.
Would you like some?
- [sighs]
- [laughs]
- Tiny ass lemon bar.
- Yeah, whatever.
- Come on, man, stop!
Let's go.
Come on.
Waste of my time.
You--hey, hey!
Stop, man!
Stop.
What are you doing?
[mellow music]
♪
- Philip, man.
Just tell us what happened.
- Shit's crazy.
[exhales]
- I fucked her best friend.
- Oh.
- But she had fucked
my brother.
- Lowkey dirty.
- You don't go fuck
family members.
Like, she only knew her bestie
for at least three years.
I knew my brother
for at least 20.
I just--so I deaded
that shit last month.
- You've been in touch, though?
- Not at all.
I blocked her.
But I had unblocked,
but then she blocked me.
And now I'm just in my bag,
so it's just like--
- Always, you always do that.
- [sighs]
I just wanna call her,
to be honest.
- Yo, that's because
you don't feel shit
when shit happens, bro.
So you get constipated.
- For real?
Catching feelings
causes constipation?
- Bro, you're [unintelligible].
It's a metaphor, dummy.
- Yo, hit me again.
- So what's up?
So what's up? So what's up?
- Yo, chill.
Yo, listen, listen.
Listen.
- What?
Why you up?
- It's like you're a camel
in the desert.
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
- I feel you.
- You're used to going
hella long without shit.
Just wandering.
Then, you meet a shorty.
It's, like,
you reach this oasis.
- Oasis?
- Makes sense, makes sense.
- And you're chilling,
but at the same time,
it's your nature to wander,
so you do that.
[dynamic, contemplative music]
Then you good for a few days,
couple weeks.
And then you're just like,
[camel grunting]
"Damn, I'm thirsty."
- That's what I'm saying.
I've been looking for an oasis.
- Story of my life.
- I've been looking
for the oasis.
- Story of my life.
- No, but guys, really--
I'm--guys, I'm thirsty.
- Oh, where's the bag at?
- I think I got some water.
- You got the bag?
Give us some waters.
- Thank you.
- That's what I'm saying.
- See, I'm not
going back this time.
- Don't--just keep wandering,
bro, keep wandering.
It's hot wandering out here.
- Mm-hmm.
[all cheer]
♪
- Listen to her.
Admit that you're wrong.
You think anybody wants
a dick pic?
Actually, some people do.
[laughter]
Say you're sorry.
Yo, cook something!
Sandwiches don't count.
Burp through your nose.
♪
Yo, take a shower.
Wash your hair.
- Bro.
- My wrist.
I was skating! My wrist.
Nah, one more time,
one more time.
Nah, nah, I feel it,
right here, right here.
[all jeering]
[all cheering]
- [laughs]
Cuddle after you fuck.
- Hold them and everything.
- Don't just leave.
Give more cute kisses.
all: Kirt, Kirt, Kirt, Kirt,
Kirt, Kirt, Kirt, Kirt!
Kirt, Kirt, Kirt, Kirt,
Kirt, Kirt, Kirt, Kirt!
Kirt, Kirt, Kirt, Kirt,
Kirt, Kirt, Kirt!
- $500?
And we're doing this again
tomorrow?
- Nah, we ain't.
- What?
- This is when they get touchy.
There's no second dates,
no second locations,
no going alone.
- Whatever.
- I'm not fucking around.
This is not a joke.
I'm serious.
- Okay
[chuckles]
Dick ain't free.
- But you can't go asking them
for money like that.
You gotta make it seem like
it's their idea.
Like, it's the best idea
they ever came up with.
- All right.
And there's enough dudes
to keep us getting paid, right?
- Pays the rent.
- Mrs. Paloma.
May I take your bags, please?
- Absolutely.
- Thank you.
- And how are you?
- Good, how are you?
Camille still has you
sleeping on the floor, though?
- Wanna see?
- Let's see it.
I feel like it was sketchy.
But whatever.
- That's fire, right?
- Ooh.
[leisurely music]
♪
Fuck it, I don't care.
That's it.
We got the clip.
- Did we?
Nah, do it again.
Oh, ah!
- [yells]
- Water!
♪
- Oh!
- Wow.
- All right, so I'm gonna put
the no-comply--
hmm, I feel like my no-comply
line is not as good.
- It is.
The 14 looks good.
- But I'll put that one first,
and then I'll put
my other line
- But make sure you put
the nose manual in it.
- I'll put the nose manual
in it.
Did you get me when I--
- I got it.
- [chuckles]
- No, it's probably on one
of the ones that's, like,
seven minutes, 'cause it took
you that long to land it.
- This is the other
ten minutes.
- I didn't film that.
- It's okay, it's fine.
I'll land--I'll fall again.
I fall really good.
It's my specialty.
- "I fall good."
- I fall good.
They're funny.
Yours is clearly
way better than mine.
- Nah.
- You're just being nice.
You can be honest with me,
though.
- Yeah, you're ass.
- I know.
- [laughs]
♪
- Hi.
[laughs]
Um, I like your board.
It's cute.
You got the, like, riser pads.
Fuck yeah.
What size is it?
- It's an 8.5.
- It's an 8.5?
That's fucking great.
I ride 8.5s too.
- Are you sure?
- [laughs]
Well, not right now, you know,
but I usually ride an 8.5.
You know, it's fun.
It's a good size.
Good for my big-ass feet,
you know?
Yeah.
Do you wanna go for a swim?
- What are you talking about?
- Do you wanna
go for a swim?
- You know how cold it is,
right?
- [laughs]
Yeah.
But, um, why not?
[laughing] It'd be fun.
You can, you know,
swim to the Statue of Liberty.
I don't know where it's at,
but it's around here somewhere,
you know?
Shouldn't be too far.
- It's that way.
- Yeah, it's that way.
Yeah.
But, um, yeah.
How about it?
You know, I just thought
you looked really cute,
and, you know,
I was wondering if I could get
your Instagram or something,
you know?
I don't know.
Up to you, really.
[clears throat]
[gentle music]
- You know what I look like,
right?
- Yeah.
- Without the mask?
- You look cute.
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
Um
So what's your name?
- Honeybear.
- Honeybear?
Oh, shit, you look like
a Honeybear for sure.
Um, yeah.
Wow.
So, what do you say?
Can I get your Instagram
or something?
♪
[camera shutter snapping]
- Dude, um, can you stop
taking dick pics?
I'm trying to sleep.
[breathes deeply]
Dude.
Oh, my God.
I'm trying to sleep.
♪
[birds chirping]
- [exhales]
[car horn honking, dog barking]
[children chattering]
- [quietly] Fuck.
- Make a rude bitch mad
'cause my ice got the brr ♪
And your friends pullin' up
'cause my M's lookin' up ♪
Yeah, young, reckless,
you can't test it ♪
[cell phone buzzing]
New thing,
got a groove like Elvis ♪
Going too ham, yeah,
don't touch my precious ♪
- Yo!
- Yo.
- We have one day.
- I know.
I'm on my way.
- You're literally in bed.
- I'm not in bed.
[door creaks]
- Hi, Honeybear.
- Six feet apart.
Six feet apart.
- I'm bringing you
breakfast in bed.
- Ow.
- Eat all of it.
- I swear I'm on my way.
- Hit me when you
get on the ferry, okay?
- Give me two feet,
we're out of time ♪
- I just checked it out.
Sick video.
But we need to see
that whole gear,
the shirt and the pants.
- Oh, okay.
Yeah, totally.
Um, I'll make sure
that I do that next time.
- How about this?
You got all those hot girls
around you and your crew.
Take some with them.
- W-what girls?
- You know, I'm always seeing
you guys on the 'gram.
What about eyebrows girl?
- Oh, no, she doesn't really
skate like that.
Like, she just started,
and she can't really do
tricks like that or anything,
you know?
- It doesn't matter.
You could fake it.
- Um, actually, I'm getting
another call right now,
so I gotta go.
- You're the best, Cam.
Thank you so much.
- Okay, bye.
- Yo, what's up?
- No one seem to understand
that this is the last day.
- Oh, yeah, okay,
I'll start looking.
- Thanks.
Are you with Indigo?
- I don't know where she went,
actually.
- [sighs]
- So you're saying I should
wait to sell the condo?
- Well, it's a classic mistake
to sell in a down market.
But you don't seem like
the type to panic, so
Smart guy like you.
- So don't sell
in a down market?
- No.
- Do you concur?
- Absolutely.
- Okay.
Should I refinance?
- What are the interest rates?
- Low.
- Then yes, you should.
- Brilliant.
Well, thank you
for the consultation, Violet.
- My pleasure, Rick.
I mean, who knows?
Having an empty condo
might come in handy.
- Indeed.
- Janay!
Janay!
Yo, Janay!
- [sighs]
- Yo, Octopussy
wanna tell you something!
- What--what is an Octopussy?
What is that?
- It's, like,
a tentacle kitty cat with a--
- Okay, Kirt.
I'll see you later!
- What?
No!
Wait, I found a connecting
skate spot!
- Are you serious?
Okay, let's hear it.
- I'm so fucking hyped
we got a spot.
How'd you find out
about this shit?
- Kirt, surprisingly.
- What?
A'ight, cool.
Well, I got as much as I could
in the U-Haul,
but I thought you said you had
people to help us unload.
- I do.
They're on their way.
- A'ight, cool.
Well, I ain't gonna front.
We gotta kinda
hurry this shit up.
My cousin's in the middle
of moving,
and I gotta get the truck
back to Soundview ASAP.
- Wait.
- What?
- You jacked
your cousin's U-Haul?
- I mean,
have you ever rented one?
- No.
- They not really 19.95.
- Sorry.
Sorry, my guys.
[grunts]
[loud rock music playing]
Got the ramp right here.
You gotta hook these
into place.
Bada bing.
Perfect.
So, um, yeah,
I don't really smoke.
I mean, I microdose shrooms
on weekdays.
Uh, and I'll take
a hero's dose on Sundays.
You know,
really keeps the heart open.
Gotta keep the heart open.
Um
Yeah, the door's never locked.
It's actually busted.
But don't try and lock it.
And, um
Yeah, it's not really, like,
the party-party vibes here,
you know?
Or even really, like,
afterparty.
But, like,
after the afterparty,
if you wanna bring
some people back, you good.
That's you.
♪
- This shit is fucking
- [scoffs]
- Janay.
What the fuck was that?
I thought you said
this spot was legit.
- Yeah, that's what I was told.
- I fucking took off work
for this shit, you know that.
- Okay, all right.
Look, we can just bring 'em
somewhere else, all right?
- Where the fuck we gonna
bring 'em, Janay?
I gotta have my fucking truck
back now!
Fuck, bro!
Fuck!
- Okay, curse at me
one more time,
and see what happens.
- I'm sorry.
- That's a start.
So what's next?
- Well,
I haven't figured that out yet.
- [laughs]
Oh, gosh.
You quit your job,
and your plan is
to figure it out?
You remind me more
of your father every day.
- And that's why we both left,
'cause you say
stupid shit like that.
- Uh, and you both still
owe me money.
[cell phone ringing]
- I'm gonna fucking
pay you back!
- Hello?
- Hey.
- Are you good?
- Sorry.
Yeah, um, what's up?
- Uh, well, we're still
looking for a spot.
Um, what's up with your mom?
- [sighs]
You know, she's just--
same bullshit, testing me.
And she just trying to tell me
how to the live the--
my fucking life because she got
rich at gentrifying New York.
And obviously
I don't fuck with that.
[sighs]
And actually
Actually
- Hello?
Are you still there?
Hello?
- How do you feel
about chocolate factories?
- No, stop.
Please stop.
- [unintelligible]
- Please stop.
Please stop.
- Come on, come on, pick it up.
- Pick it up, yo.
- So, "Proud Family"?
What, I like it.
- What, you don't like it?
- Wait, wait, hold on.
- Your mom hooked you up
with this?
- Something like that.
- Yeah, okay.
Wait.
Keys?
- No keys.
No.
- You don't have keys?
- All right, back up.
- But
- Bro!
- How do we--how are we
supposed to get inside this?
- Camille knows, Camille knows.
- Watch, because we do this
all the time, ready?
- Oh, okay!
- Three, two, one!
- Hold on.
Stop, stop.
Hold up, hold up.
[laughter]
- Okay, I mean,
that works too.
- That's what we doing.
This is what we doing,
we here.
We here.
- You know?
All right, go, Kirt.
- Oh, we Willy Wonka
in this bitch?
- [laughs]
all: Oompa Loompa
doompety doo ♪
I've got a message,
message for you ♪
Oompa Loompa doompety dee ♪
Something, something,
something ♪
[laughter]
- Yo, what is this place?
- It's been sitting here
for ten years,
and I thought it could be
our new winter spot, huh?
Huh?
Huh?
- Damn.
This is valid!
Yo!
- Facts, let's explore.
- Oh, my gosh.
Yo!
[uplifting music]
♪
- [unintelligible]
[laughter, indistinct chatter]
- [yells]
- Oh, oh, oh, oh!
- Oh.
- [grunts]
- Wow!
[vocalizing]
- Scary face.
- One time when Camille saw
this bitch in her backyard
and she had on a white dress.
And she caught it on tape.
- Talking about me?
- Yes.
- You mean I saw a ghost?
- So, and then you deleted it
'cause you didn't want it
to go in the Internet.
- Yeah, because if I post it--
- No, you can't talk about--
- If I post a ghost on the
Internet, it's gonna haunt me.
- Please don't talk about
ghosts in here.
- You scared of ghosts?
- No. Look at this place.
♪
- I would fall
out of bed a lot.
- Is she scary?
- And he would pick me up
and put me back on my bed.
- Who would put you back
in your bed?
- The ghost.
[both bellow]
- The ghost in the--
Look at her face.
- So my brother has--
used to have hair like mine,
like, just like mine.
And my dad would
always rub his hair
so, like, he would go to sleep.
But one day my dad
was rubbing his back,
and his hair started moving
like someone
was doing--touching it--
[both scream]
And then, like,
a couple nights later--
- They're scared.
- It was always, like,
weird shit, like--
it was always, like, really,
really cold in the apartment.
Like, you could see your breath
even if the heat was on,
like, hot summertime,
windows open,
90 degrees outside.
- See whose breath?
♪
♪
[bright tone]
(FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
Hey! Can you please just stop?!
And who the hell are you?
Yo, Kirt. I don't know
who you think you are.
-Sexting my man
about your G spot!
-Oh, shit.
Place is amazing. When did y'all
get to the neighborhood?
Oh, we just pulled up.
It's still fresh.
-CAMILLE: You'll help me
with the photos?
-I got you.
Yo! Y'all takin' ho photos?
I just need one little favor
in return and we're square.
-I'll do anything.
-Look out. (SNICKERS)
We are about to get paid,
bitch.