Big City Greens (2018) s02e02 Episode Script

[theme song plays]
One, two,
one, two, three, four!
[vocalizing]
[vocalizing]
[chicken clucks]
[thunder crashes]
[boy]
I can't believe they canceled our game
-because of the rain.
-Yeah.
-I mean, the bat's made of wood!
-Yeah.
-And the ball's made out of wood.
-Yeah Wait.
-I don't think it is.
-[gasps]
Is that
the Swamp Witch's lair?
-[thunder crashes]
-Sure is.
Uh, we better keep
moving before she Ah!
Oh, no, our ball!
Crud!
I guess you
gotta go get it now.
-Me? You dropped it!
-Fine! We'll both go.
Fine.
[both shuddering]
You know, I heard the Swamp
Witch is actually the undead!
-Shh!
-Do you see it?
Quiet! You'll wake the witch!
-[both gasp]
-No trespassing!
[both] Swamp Witch!
[screaming]
-[Gramma laughs]
-[Bill] Ma, what are you doing?
Can't an old woman laugh
in the rain once in a while?
[crowing]
Hey, Ma, about last night
with those kids?
I wouldn't know what
you're referring to.
[laughs] Plausible deniability,
Gramma! You're wily.
-Hey, can I try eating a dozen eggs?
-Sure, Tilly.
No, Tilly, we're not
going through this again.
Ma, I'm serious.
Why'd you scare
those kids like that?
Listen son,
when y'all aren't looking,
I scare the daylight
out of city folk!
I'm a rattlin' snake!
I'm an open bear trap!
I'm the Swamp Witch
of Big City,
-and I eat human bones!
-Nope!
Holy toot!
Wait, is that why the neighbors
don't come around?
Oh, we gotta fix this!
Mm Uh I got it!
What if we throw a barbecue?
We'll invite the whole neighborhood
and show them
we're a nice family!
Grill up some
of that Green family charm!
-What do you think, Till?
-Oh, yeah, whatever you all think is best.
-Hoo-boy, a barbecue! Sounds
-Swamp Witch says no!
Ma, I don't get it.
What's the worst that can happen?
What can happen? Random folks
will start getting friendly.
Hello, I am a neighbor,
and because you are in no way threatening,
-I thought I'd pop in.
-[gasps]
-[shudders]
-Well, that doesn't sound so bad.
You may like people
hanging around, but I don't!
It's just who I am
and I ain't compromising!
Too bad, we're doing it.
How about you, Cricket?
-You love to barbecue.
-Hm, interesting.
Which path will Cricket choose?
On one hand, I do like making
new friends and eating hot dogs.
-But scaring folks is pretty funny
-Boo!
[laughs] Yeah, I'm with Gramma!
[laughs] Good boy.
Now, let us recede.
[Gramma cackling]
Well, I'm excited for some
new friends and hot dogs.
You're still with us, right, Tilly?
Aw, come on.
Sorry, Papa, but I'm going for it.
-[sizzling]
-[laughs]
I'm breaking out
the funny apron.
It's important that we seem
friendly, Bill, more than funny.
-Right you are, ex-wife.
-Okay, also, don't call me that.
Now, let's get this barbecue started.
Hey there, neighbor!
Come have a burger on us!
No way,
I hear there's a Swamp Witch living here.
There's no Swamp Witch here!
Just some nacho chips and fresh guac.
-Come on, let's go!
-Hey, there! Feel free to help yourselves!
-No one's gonna eat ya!
-Ha! It's too late, Billy boy,
the damage has been done!
Now, look, all this
talk of witches is nonsense.
-We're just a regular family.
-Well, what about her?
-Ah!
-Hey, I get it.
Alice can be scary.
But she isn't a witch,
she's more of a nice,
regular old lady.
Gramma's like a pine cone.
Spiky on the outside,
and equally spiky on the inside,
but she sure is neat.
What we're trying to say is,
no one here is a witch.
-So, who wants a burger?
-[all] Sure! I do!
-Ugh, great.
-Gramma, we've been waiting all afternoon.
When are we gonna
start scaring people?
-Just as soon as I Huh?
-[door opens]
Hi! Don't mind us, we're just
looking for the silverware.
Oh, now you've done it.
Get back outside, you worms!
-What a cute living room!
-Your home is lovely!
-Huh?
-Rustic! Into it!
-This is a really nice fish.
-You don't refrigerate your ketchup?
-[groaning]
-Oh, found it!
Thanks so much,
you guys are super-duper nice!
We'll have to pop
in more often.
-What?
-Pop in!
-No!
-[slow-motion] Pop in!
Did you hear that?
They want to pop in!
Get ready, Cricket.
This Swamp Witch is going to a barbecue!
Here we go.
The moment of truth.
Oh, yeah, there she is.
The perfect criss-cross.
Everyone's gonna love this.
[clears throat]
-Hey, uh, who wants a burger
-[Gramma cackles]
You absolute fools!
I am the Swamp Witch!
And I have a spell
for every day of the week!
Ya'll have the brass
to trespass into my lair?
Oh, we were invited?
Then you have been invited
into an open grave!
Hey, hey, hey! Over here.
That's just my mom, she's being funny.
No, I'm not! You! You're cursed!
Imp, I summon thee!
Yes, Gramma
I mean, Dark One!
-Whoa!
-Imp! Curse that nerd!
Yes, Dark One.
Ow. Hm?
"Your curs'd."
-Uh
-I'll take care of that.
Hang in there. One sec. Here.
"No, you're not cursed,
have a burg' on me. Bill."
-You're Bill, right?
-Fool! You're still cursed!
-Now, boy.
-[grunting]
You're all cursed! [cackles]
[Gramma coughing]
Where's that dang door?
I got it.
-She disappeared!
-Holy smokes!
-She is a Swamp Witch!
-They're really buying it?
Uh, hey! How about some refreshments
to cool everyone down?
Uh, we got sun tea,
store cola, lemonade
[cackles]
Refreshments, you say?
How about some devil's brew!
-Devil's brew? Really?
-The brew of the devil!
Now, Imp, I demand you to drink
of the brew to demonstrate its power!
As you wish, Dark One. Hup!
No, Cricket,
that's barrel water.
Mm uh! [shouting, gagging]
[gasps] Little boy!
Are you all right?
-[shouting, babbling]
-[screams]
[clucking like a chicken,
moaning]
-[clucks]
-She turned him into a chicken!
-He is beast now!
-[screaming]
Ya don't drink barrel water.
Please, turn him back,
we beg of you!
As you wish, mortal.
Imp, I release you!
[Cricket] Psst! Come on!
I was animal in both body
and mind, and it was misery!
-[grunts, laughs, coughs]
-Seriously, Alice?
Okay, that's enough of this.
I'm gonna leave,
-and I'm gonna call somebody.
-Yeah, good idea.
No! You can't leave!
I swear,
my ma's just being weird.
Please, just stay
for a lemonade.
-Well
-[cackling]
-She is a witch!
-I am a witch!
-What the heck?
-[cackling]
If ya'll ever come back,
I'll turn your guts into spiders! Uh-oh!
-Now what is she doing?
-Dang it, those are my spare glasses.
-All right, she's dead!
-All right!
Plan B, boy. Hey!
I ain't dead!
-Swamp Witch can't die!
-[screaming]
Wait! It was a kite!
She [sighs]
-Ma, how could you?
-I could 'cause I can.
And trust me, they'll think twice
before they come back here again.
[neighbor]
We've thought about it.
And we'd like to buy these pitch forks
and torches, please.
Y'all were really great.
Here's something
for your troubles.
Whoa! Huh?
What is that noise?
-Yeah, what is that?
-Hmm
Hey the neighbors are coming back!
They must've changed their
-[indistinct shouting]
-Oh, my gosh, that's a mob.
-Uh-oh.
-Oh, this ain't good!
Destroy the witch
and her monstrous family!
[all shouting]
Stay back, you beast!
Back! Back!
-[Bill] Everyone inside!
-[shouting]
-[grunts, shouts]
-[squealing]
-Take this!
-[screams]
No more witches!
No more witches!
-No more witches!
-Wait! You've got it all wrong!
Bill, they ain't gonna
listen to reason! Come on!
Ah! [grunts]
They think we're monsters.
Hoo-wee! An angry mob!
I did not expect that.
I've never gotten them
this stirred up before.
-Okay, so what's the plan?
-Ah, give them a little time.
They'll cool down, and then we'll never
have another neighbor bother us again.
Right. They'll stop being angry
and go back to being afraid.
Can't even have
a neighborhood barbecue.
Why're you all sad?
Things'll go back to normal.
What about you, boy?
I thought you were on my side.
I didn't think it
would get this bad, Gramma.
Something about them threatening our lives
makes it a lot less funny.
Huh? [groans]
No more witches!
No more
-The Dark One herself!
-Everyone get her!
-Gramma, what're you
-Halt!
People that live near us,
I have something to show you!
Something I've kept hidden
from you all these years.
I don't really follow,
Gramma. What're you
-Mwah!
-Ah! Gramma! No!
-Not in front of all these people!
-Come here,
-you little sugar booger!
-Ah!
I'm not a witch,
I'm a regular gramma!
-Ma, what're you doing?
-Please, Gramma, you're too young to die!
-Oh, uh, actually
-Shut yer yaps, all of ya!
Y'all looked like a bunch
of sad losers in there,
and I realized I can't just
think of myself anymore.
I've got to compromise and do
what's best for all of you.
-And sometimes Nancy.
-Hey, I'll take it.
I wanna make things right
with the neighbors,
so y'all can feel like part
of the community or whatever.
Aw, Ma,
that's really nice of you.
-Yeah, well, I care about ya.
-[all] Aw!
-You're a regular gramma!
-You're just like my gramma!
Can we play sometime,
old lady?
[shuddering]
See what I do for you all?
Hey, what do you say we get back
to having a barbecue!
Hey, nice criss-cross!
[giggling]
Oh, can I try some
of that barrel water?
[Tilly] You don't
drink barrel water!
[kite cackling]
Look at her go, Remy!
Swift, majestic, unsinkable!
Oh, it sank.
RIP, tiny sailors.
Hey, Cricket, look at that!
Huh? Why are people
throwin' their money away?
Whoa, I didn't know money
came in coin form!
Gee, how much do you think
is in there, Cricket?
I don't know,
but I'm about to find out!
-I'm swimmin' in moolah!
-[officer] Halt, child!
You can't take these coins.
You'd be stealing wishes.
Wishes? Explain yourself.
Well, people toss money
in fountains and make a wish.
I always make the same wish.
I wish I could fly.
Do the wishes
ever come true?
-Not yet, but here's hoping.
-But who keeps the money?
Yeah, answer the question, lawman!
Hm, I suppose
whoever owns the fountain.
Sounds like
a pretty good racket.
Yeah, I bet
that person is rich!
[echoing] Rich rich
Bingo-bango.
Sorry Remy! I gotta go!
Okay, cool! I guess, um
I'll just go home too, then.
Come one, come all! Your
wildest dreams will come true
once you visit Cricket's
Wonderful Well-O-Wishin'!
-[pig oinking]
-Ah! Here's some well-wishers now!
Step right up and make a wish!
The more you spend, the bigger the wish!
-Okay!
-Oh, no, no, sweetie.
That's where wishes go to die.
-Aw, come on! Take a chance!
-I don't think so.
-Nah, brah.
-[snorts]
You too, pig? Hm. This business
venture may be a lost cause.
-[splashing]
-Huh?
Whoa, whoa, Tilly.
What're you doing?
I'm making a wish.
And I figured if your
wishing well
was even half as magical
as you say it is,
then my wish
is sure to come true.
-Is that all your money?
-[laughs] Of course not.
There. That's all my money.
Now, to wait
for my wish to be granted.
-[humming tune]
-I'm rich! I'm rich!
With Tilly's money.
I don't normally like to do
this, but I gotta ask myself,
what's the right thing to do?
[straining]
-Take the dang money, man!
-Hm?
-Hiya!
-Ah! A devil! A devil!
Return from whence you came!
Whoa! Calm down, buddy.
I'm just a friend.
Friend? But you look
like a dadgum devil!
Oh, these are just my jammies.
I'm here because you needed help
making the right decision.
Oh, well, that's good.
I could use some guidance.
Say, isn't there supposed
to be a little angel fella?
Ba-ba-ba-ba!
Focus on the here and now.
Concerning Tilly's money,
it's perfectly fine for you to keep it.
-After all, she gave it to you.
-What you're saying certainly makes sense.
I know! Don't over-think
this one, big guy.
-You earned it.
-[laughs] I did, didn't I?
Now, what can two handsome devils do
with this newfound fortune?
[both] Mm!
[wild music pumping]
-[bell ringing]
-[video game beeping]
[futuristic music plays]
[music continues]
Hey, y'all!
Wish me happy birthday!
-[all] Happy birthday!
-It's not even my birthday!
-Cricket! Cricket!
-Kid, you're on a roll.
[devil] Betcha can't throw
two balls at once.
Ha, watch and learn,
little guy! [grunting]
-[voice] Cricket Green, how could you!
-Wha--gah!
-[laughs, grunts]
-Ah! It felt like someone
-just shouted right in my ear!
-[screams]
-Uh
-[choral music stops and starts]
-[gasping]
-Ah!
[grunting] I never
thought I'd make it out!
-[crashing]
-Uh, what just crawled outta my body?
I did! Come on, seriously?
It's hard wearing white.
Oh, great, here comes
King of the Killjoys.
Cricket Green, I can't believe
you swindled your dear, sweet sister!
That was like two hours ago.
Why didn't you show up then?
Ha! I would have
if somebody hadn't hogtied me
-and left me for the dogs!
-[slurping] Mm-mm-mm.
Anyway, scamming your sister
is the lowest of the low.
However, it's not too
late for you, Cricket.
You can still return the money,
and all will be forgiven.
Eh, that might be hard to do.
I've only got one quarter left.
Well, I suppose one quarter
is a start Wait, what're you doing?
-No, Cricket, no!
-[chewing] Yay!
-[stammering] Ah!
-[laughs] That's my boy.
You're a monster! And you!
You're on your way to becoming a monster!
-Oh! Come on!
-Take heed, Cricket Green.
Is this really who you wanna be?
If you don't make things
right with your sister,
I'm gonna annoy you
till the end of time!
I'll pull your toes
when you're trying to sleep!
I'll chew on yer ears!
And I'll make weird noises!
Ahh-ooga-laga-laga-laga-laga!
And I'll punch your butt!
Hey, that's my personal area.
You're really getting on my nerves!
Oh, you want me to leave, huh?
Then earn back Tilly's money,
and I'll be gone lickety-split.
Now, get to work filling this jar!
[groans] Fine!
[music plays]
-All right!
-Half full! Time for a break!
No, half empty.
Get back to work!
It seems the fountain
has absorbed my coins.
Which means the time is nigh
for my wish to come true.
All right, Angel.
When I give Tilly's money back,
you're outta here, right?
Once you've righted your wrongs,
I say adios.
That's all I needed to hear.
Hey, Tilly.
Uh, here's your money back.
I figured you could use it
for something more worthwhile.
This time don't spend it all in one place,
you hear?
[laughs]
Ah! Done and done!
Goodbye, annoying angel.
[coins rattling]
Uh, Tilly?
Didn't you hear what I just said?
Yes, I did. But I can't think of anything
better I'd like to buy than a wish.
Okay, Tilly.
I gotta come clean.
What is it, Cricket?
Actually, you might find this
a little funny.
[laughs] Yeah, I think you'll be
laughing when you hear this one.
-Sounds pretty good. [laughs]
-[both laugh]
The fountain is a scam!
I did it to make some quick money!
[laughs]
I fail to see
the humor, brother.
So where does this leave
the status of my requested wish?
Well, Tilly,
your wish ain't coming true.
Uh, but maybe it'll come true on its own!
What'd you wish for?
I wished that
I could touch a rainbow.
Okay. Cool, cool, cool, cool. Cool.
I wished, if only for a second, to be
a part of nature's most fleeting beauty.
Everyone has seen a rainbow.
But I wanted to touch one.
To feel it.
Is it warm or chilly?
Soft or surprisingly coarse?
I guess I'll never know.
-Hey, you forgot your money!
-Keep it.
Money's nothing compared
to the promise of a wish.
Wow. Just wow.
I hope you're proud
of yourself!
You again? I thought
I got rid of you.
-Yeah! What the heck, dude?
-Oh, hey, buddy.
-Wassup?
-Well, Cricket.
I said I'd leave you alone once
you made things right.
And things are far from right!
Eh! He tried his best.
Did you see the look
on Tilly's face?
She can't get any sadder.
He should just keep the money.
-[gasps] No, he should not!
-Yes, he should!
-No, he shouldn't!
-Guys, quiet down!
I can't hear myself think!
-Cricket, listen to me.
-No, listen to me!
-[both yelling]
I said be quiet!
[silence]
-Ahh. That's better.
-[angel] Cricket!
Don't listen to him!
I'm trying to help you!
Ha! Time to shut you up for good!
-[grunting] That doesn't feel good.
-[zapping]
-This time it's gonna be my way!
-Ah!
[grunting] It's dark!
Who turned off the sun?
-Take that and that and that!
-[zapping]
When in disgrace with fortune
and men's eyes, I, all alone,
beweep my outcast state.
Come back here, you! Huh?
Come out, come out, wherever you are! Ah!
Oh, never forgetty
to eat your spaghetti ♪
And you'll be
a shining star ♪
-Here, have a light!
-Ah! Hot, hot, hot!
Well, well, well.
Ain't this a glorious sight.
How the righteous
have fallen.
Cricket! I know we
don't get along great,
but you shouldn't do the
right thing to get rid of me!
-Hey! Let go!
-You should do it for your sister!
[both shouting]
[gasps] Angel's right!
Tried to escape my own guilt.
Forgot about Tilly's feelings!
I gotta make this right.
Tilly deserves it!
[sighs] Have you ever
had a wish, ladybug?
Well, you should give up on it.
Take it from me,
a washed up old hag with a wish
and nothing to show for it.
-[Cricket] Tilly!
-What now?
I had to make a choice today
about who I am.
And cheatin' you, well,
that's not who I wanna be.
-This is who I wanna be! [panting]
-Cricket, what are you doing?
-Hey! Get outta that fountain!
-Ah!
-[grunting]
-Get back here, please!
[Cricket panting]
-What is he doing?
-Officer Keys, wait!
-Oh, yes?
-Make a wish.
Oh, joy!
I wish I could fly!
-Huh? Aw!
-[laughs]
-Cricket, I don't understand!
-[rumbling]
Tilly Green, I'm gonna
make your wish come true!
[shouting]
-Wow!
-[grunting]
Oof!
-I'm doing it, Ma! I'm flying!
Oof!
[gasps]
I can feel every color!
It's oh
it's
everything I ever dreamed!
[gasping, coughing, groans]
Huh?
That was the nicest thing
you ever did for me.
Glad you liked it, Tilly.
That wish was worth
every penny.
And nickel and dime
and quarter.
Well, looks like
our job here is done.
-Till next time, eh?
-Till next time.
Headin' home.
Here we go!
I got sweat in my eyes ♪
Lost a bet and got ♪
Bit by 100 flies ♪
I fell out a big old tree ♪
Hit every branch
and scraped up both my knees ♪
I got chased by dogs
Bit by a frog ♪
Got a rash on my legs
Dropped a dozen eggs ♪
I got splinters
in seven of ten ♪
And tomorrow
I'll do it all again ♪