Big Nate (2022) s02e02 Episode Script

[dramatic music]
[seagulls calling]
♪
[groans]
[sighs]
[groans]
[grunts]
[gasps] We made it!
We made it to Treasure Island!
[laughs triumphantly]
[upbeat music]
Don't want to go
to school today ♪
The sun is red hot
and I wanna play ♪
But if I get caught
they'll make me pay ♪
Detention again ♪
Big Nate, Big Nate ♪
Math and social studies
just ain't my thing ♪
Big Nate, Big Nate ♪
Rocking with my band
is where I'm king ♪
Stealing the teacher's teeth
or bailing on a test ♪
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh,
ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
Big Nate ♪
[loud clang]
[loud crash]
[whistles]
Oh, hey, guys.
Just tuning in?
Let me catch you up
with a flashback.
My Gram and Gramps,
known to other grown-ups
and local authorities
as Vern and Marge,
showed up out of the blue
without any presents
in a dumpy fishing boat
they traded their house
and my dad's inheritance for--
not cool.
Until they showed us a map
and invited us
on a treasure hunt!
Dangerous?
Yeah, probably.
But we laugh at danger!
Okay, most of us laugh
at danger.
We hit a few minor,
and I--I mean
super minor setbacks.
Oh!
Little did I know,
my best friends were
hot on our tail,
and that's when things
got nuts.
My dad fell in love
with a trash mermaid,
which is totally on brand
for him.
- We fought fish mutants.
- Hi-yah!
We were swallowed by
and then blown out
of a whale's blowhole.
Gramps lost his finger.
We lost the boats.
I lost my friends.
Yada, yada, yada.
You've heard stuff
like this before.
Here we are.
Okay, fam.
Time to put our yesterdays
behind us
and get our filthy hands
on some pirate's booty.
[laughs]
That's the spirit, Nate.
Hmm.
[quirky music]
Huh?
[chick cheeping]
Aw.
Ahh!
Are you kidding me?
We're lucky to be alive.
Mom, Dad, there's no treasure
on this island, only--
okay, what exactly
is a Beardy Yum-Yum,
'cause that's a weird name.
Uh, only the world's most
irresistible snack food.
It's buried treasure, Marty.
They don't call it above-ground
treasure, do they?
No, they call it a scam,
which you have
somehow fallen for
and roped
our entire family into.
But I'm done,
and tomorrow we head home.
And I am with you, Dad.
But we don't have a boat.
Then I'll build a boat.
[record scratch]
[both laugh]
What's so funny?
Is it the octopus latched
onto Ellen's leg?
The what? Octopus?
- Octopus!
- Ahh! It got me!
[whimpers]
It's sucking on my pupils!
[grunts]
Nobody's building any boats.
[laughs] Exactly.
Because we don't need to.
Once we find that treasure,
we'll use it to charter a boat
or buy a yacht! Ha!
Now, who's with us, huh?
- Hoo!
- You?
[all shout]
[rumbling]
[ominous whisper]
Eewcorpico.
Okay. How to wake up from
a really bad, long dream.
[gasps] Teenager.
[phone beeps]
Answer me, Internet!
Okay, uh, seriously,
what was that noise?
A warning.
Pirates must have
rigged the island
to prevent swashbucklers
like us
from finding the treasure.
In other words,
we're unwanted trespassers
and this is probably
government property.
Aw, come on, Dad!
Stop being a buzzkill.
Did you hear what Gramps said?
Pirates!
Swashbucklers! Treasure!
I mean, can't we just
let this adventure play out?
It's played out plenty!
Need I remind you that they
got us swallowed by a whale?
Okay, okay.
All right, all right.
Sure, they put us through a lot
so far on this journey,
but look.
We made it
to a treasure island,
just like they promised.
They can change, Dad.
We can't just assume
the worst in people, can we?
[both whimper]
[sighs] Sorry, Nate.
I know my parents,
and they definitely
cannot change.
Why don't you come help me
make some smoke signals
and spell out "SOS"
in the sand
with fish carcasses?
Uh, I don't know, Dad.
I mean, what if Gram and Gramps
can change?
They've risked everything
to find this treasure
and, well, I'd really like
to help them do it.
[sighs] Go.
Thanks, Dad. Bye!
Right behind ya!
both: Hmm?
If anything happens
to Nate on this island--
He'll be okay.
He's got us, Marty.
You and I both know that
doesn't make me feel better.
Now go, and make sure
he uses bug spray.
Don't worry, Nate.
We'll split the pirate's booty
with your dad.
Ooh, yeah.
And before you know it,
we'll be riding that
fancy yacht
to Rackleff as a family,
with enough room for all of us,
even your weird little friends
that are hopefully
not whale food.
Oh, yeah. Them.
I'm sure they're fine.
I mean, we made it to shore,
so I'll bet they did too.
And this can't be the first
time Uncle Pedro's been
stranded on a desert island.
Never before have I been
stranded on a desert island.
We're in real trouble here, kids.
Thank you for your honesty, Tío.
Truly inspiring.
We're doomed!
Doomed!
[note plays wetly]
I come bearing food!
[crash]
Where'd you find this stuff,
Chad?
I've got a knack
for survival.
We Applewhites have had
to compensate
for our inferior
evolutionary traits.
And our hesitancy to throw out
socks with worn-out elasticity.
That one's hard
for all of us, bro.
Anyhoo, I found this food in
the heart of the island.
Some of it's probably
pretty stale,
but it should do us
just fine for now.
He's right.
I think we can make
these snacks
last at least a week.
Enough time for
the rescue boats to show.
Boy, everyone back home must
be worried sick right now.
[farts]
Emmy, please.
- [rumbling]
- Whoa!
- Oh!
- We may not have time to wait
for the rescue boats.
The Curse of Eewcorpico has
made its home here.
[dramatic music]
And it does not like visitors.
[groans, thuds]
- [groans]
- [gasps]
[grunting]
This place reeks.
Well, good news.
We should be seeing
a freshwater pond up ahead.
[bubbling]
Ah, man.
Turns out that
"freshwater" pond
is blocking our path.
Huh. Maybe we made
a wrong turn somewhere.
Hmm. Wait a sec.
I've seen this kind
of thing before
in the movies in my head
starring me.
It's a booby trap.
We just need to find
a rope swing.
Do you know where
the rope swing is?
children's voices:
It's over there!
It's right behind you!
Aw, thanks, audience
of small children
I've hallucinated.
[Tarzan yell]
Ow!
Stuck the landing.
Henceforth,
I shall be known as,
uh, Obediah Goldlover!
Lover of adventure, gold
and also snacks.
[adventurous music]
♪
[rumbling]
[all scream]
[all grunt]
♪
[screaming]
This isn't fun, okay?
♪
- [monkeys screeching]
- [shouting]
♪
[all retching]
Oh, no, no, no, no!
Ahh!
Behold, the hidden temple!
Ha!
And they said I couldn't
build a boat.
I mean, this is more like
a third grade art project,
but you know what?
Good job, Dad.
Now, how do we know
which way to go?
Simple:
We head for the horizon.
Okay.
How long do you think
it will take?
It's tough to say.
Hey, do me a solid, honey,
and pull that line
so we can tack starboard.
What line? What tack? What?
Dad, I don't speak sailor.
The seaweed there.
Hurry, though.
We got a little wave coming.
A wave? Where?
Ahh!
- [door slams]
- Ah-ha!
The pirates' hideout!
Huh.
Hmm.
Hey, check it out!
You know, I gotta say,
you two really bring out
my inner daredevil.
[gargling]
Hey, who wants some
cheesy spray?
Toss it over, pal.
[gargling] Mmm.
You know, really--mmm.
Your blind enthusiasm,
lack of foresight,
and total disregard
for safety precautions has
been nothing short
of inspirational.
[rumbling]
[ominous whisper] Eewcorpico.
Get one more spray in.
It could be your last.
Until dinner later,
after we find the treasure.
[mysterious music]
Well, project trash raft
was a fail.
Shocker.
[retches]
No, it wasn't.
Not by a long shot.
[retches]
You see, Ellen, "failure"
is just an opportunity
to try again and again
and again.
- I may fail a hundred times--
- How many times?
But I will get our family off
this garbage dump of an island,
or my name isn't
Martin Earl Wright.
Your middle name is Earl?
Well, it was "ham and cheese"
because your Gram accidentally
put down her lunch request
on my birth certificate,
but I changed it.
Yeah, you know, you--
you've got a lot to work out
with those two
I do.
[dramatic music]
Um, quick question
about the snacks.
Did anybody accidentally take
an extra one?
Or six?
No! No!
It's all gone!
What do you mean
it's all gone?
What do you mean
what do I mean?
What do you mean
what does he mean?
He means what do you mean?
My precious snacks!
Who could have done this?
[pigeons cooing]
[relaxing tropical music]
You mean our precious snacks!
Okay. Okay. Okay.
Guys, I was really hoping it
wouldn't come to this,
but alas, here we are.
So whoever pulls the short
straw gets eaten first.
No one's touching
these thighs.
- Unbelievable.
- What?
How else are we supposed
to survive?
Well, we could have survived
on delicious snacks,
but someone had to eat
the last bag of chips!
Okay. Okay.
Well, someone who ate
the last snack would be
someone who'd accuse someone
of eating the last snack!
I didn't eat it!
I'm too smart to risk
all our lives like that.
Well, if you're so smart, Francis,
why don't you tell us where
to get more bags of chips?
Huh? Huh? Huh?
How would I know where
to get more food?
We're stuck on an island
covered in rotten trash!
Wait.
There's still one bag left.
[fart noise]
Never mind.
It just looked full.
We have nothing.
[screaming, grunting]
Eewcorpico. Children, please!
The curse is trying
to take over your minds.
Be still, and let me work
my dark magic.
[vocalizes gibberish]
Out, devil curse!
Out, I say!
Ow! Stop it!
Ooh, that got an itch, actually.
[whimpering]
[muttering]
[vocalizing]
[gasps] Adelaide!
[all whimpering]
[conch blows]
[all shout]
Oh! Oh, that thing is loud.
It's still vibrating
in my butt cheeks.
Children!
You're not concentrating.
Resist the curse's
evil temptation
or we will all perish!
[rumbling]
What was that?
[ominous whisper] Eewcorpico.
The curse!
We have to fight it!
But we can only do it together.
Battle--oof!
Cry!
[yelling]
[all yelling]
[gasps] Did you hear that?
Scavengers approaching!
They must be after
our treasure.
[yelling]
We can't let them
get there first!
Battle cry!
[all yelling]
Battle cry!
[heavy metal music]
[all grunt]
- Huh?
- [gasps]
- Nate?
- Guys?
- Nate!
- Guys, it's Nate!
Nate, the guys!
- Nate!
- Guys!
all: Nate! Guys!
We're so glad you're alive.
We've been looking for you
the whole time.
We never gave up hope.
Uh, yeah. Us too.
[chuckles]
We totally weren't looking
for treasure
instead of you.
all: Aw.
And we totally weren't
considering eating each other.
That's good.
That's good, Teddy.
Real good.
I'm lying.
We did consider
light cannibalism
[rumbling]
Good news!
We can now turn around
and go home.
Who's craving Scoopsies?
I am!
I could really go for a
marshmallow bok choy sorbet.
First of all, ew.
Second, go home? No way!
Guys, we are so close
to the treasure!
But what about the Curse
of Eewcorpico, Nate?
[ominous whisper] Eewcorpico.
What's that?
Is that one of Uncle Pedro's
crazy tales?
Because I'll tell you what,
Obediah Goldlover ain't
afraid of no curse.
[adventurous music]
Let's blip over the fact that
you just called yourself
Obediah Goldlover
and let Uncle Pedro explain.
Eewcorpico is no tale, child.
It is a legend.
And legends become legends
because they are legendary.
If we allow it, the curse will
have its way with us.
Don't let it make you blind
to what's right in front
of you.
[dramatic music]
Me, blind?
No, no, no, no.
My eyes are wide open, baby.
[laughs] You see?
[flies buzzing]
[screaming]
A fly! Oh, it hurts!
It hurts so bad! Ahh!
Wow. That's me-level drama.
I'm impressed.
[gasping]
Okay. I'm okay now.
I'm okay.
I am Obediah Goldlover.
Now, where was I? Oh, yeah.
What I see
is cha-ching, cha-ching!
That is the sound that
treasure makes.
Let's go get that gold!
[adventurous music]
[ominous whisper]
Eewcorpico.
♪
[sighs]
You know, if I wasn't
utterly terrified that
our entire family was trapped
on a desert island
with little to no hope
of us getting back to Rackleff
before we starve to death,
I'd say this was
kind of relaxing.
Yeah, I agree.
- Except
- What is it, honey?
Is my back hair
grossing you out,
or the mole clusters?
Hi, Ellen.
[chuckles]
No, no.
I mean, yes.
But it's not just that.
I can't believe I'm saying
this, but
I just hope Nate's okay.
[boat horn blares]
Dad!
Was that what I think it was?
Were you thinking it was one
of those cruise ships
with an all-you-can-eat buffet?
That or also, uh,
j-just a regular boat.
Look!
[boat horn blares]
Let me see.
Ellen, we're saved!
Help! We're right here!
Hurry! We can catch up to them.
How do we make this thing
go faster?
Well it is made out
of milk cartons and seaweed,
so I don't think--Dad!
[both scream]
[dramatic music]
[pipe creaking]
Keep moving, guys.
Once we find the treasure,
we're gonna be so rich that
all the terror and trauma will
be totally worth it.
So you're saying money can
save my soul.
That is a relief.
[clattering]
[grunting]
Ah, Dios mio!
Well, this is unfortunate.
[dramatic music]
[gasps]
This isn't a treasure island.
It's a trash-ure island!
It's an Eewcorpico dump site!
Wait a sec. Look!
[all gasp]
♪
- Ahh.
- Oh!
Nobody go near!
It could be cursed.
Enough with the curses,
Pedro!
[suspenseful music]
♪
[button beeps]
- [rumbling]
- Huh?
[dramatic music]
♪
Ahh!
Francis, look what you did!
[all screaming]
Why did I ever believe
you guys?
- [grunts]
- Cause we really thought
this treasure could
help the family.
Gramps is right, Nate.
Nobody could have predicted
this would become
such a disaster.
Yeah, well,
my dad could have,
and now I may never
see him again.
This is all your fault!
Hold on there, Mr. Goldlover.
You were the one that lead us
into this stupid adventure.
We all risked our lives
to save you,
and now it's too late!
So it's actually all three
of your faults.
We got swallowed by a whale
for nothing?
Nate's not to blame.
This one's on us.
We should have listened
to Marty
and protected our grandson,
not drag him into one of our
crazy get-rich-quick schemes.
But what can we do about it?
Battle cry!
What are you doing, Nate?
What nobody else has
the cebollas to do, amigo.
He's clogging up that
garbage volcano
with a bagful
of Beardy Yum-Yum wrappers.
He's fighting trash
with trash!
A brave man risking it all
to save his best friends!
And Francis.
I'm coming, Nate!
I'm holding out for a hero
till the end of the night ♪
We'll never forget you,
Nate Wright!
I thought his name was
Obediah Goldlover.
Nate, you don't have
to do this!
I got us into this mess,
and I promised your dad
I wouldn't let
anything happen to you.
But I pushed us too far!
We should have stayed back
like you said!
Shoulda! Woulda!
- Couldaaaa!
- Gramps!
Larger than life ♪
[music stops]
[flies buzzing, birds singing]
[rumbling]
[all screaming]
It's gonna blow!
♪
[screaming]
No, no, no!
- Climb up to me, Nate!
- I can't move!
What? Why?
Because I'm peeing myself!
[screaming]
♪
- [gasping]
- [makes dolphin chirp]
♪
[boat horn blares]
Ahoy, mates!
It's "ahoy, mateys," Dad.
Same difference.
Anybody wanna carpool
back to Rackleff?
Nate's dad, you're back!
We're saved!
Oh, Marty, it's Nate.
And Vern.
They're--they're--
all: Stuck on the trash chute!
Stuck on the what?
- [screaming]
- Nate! Dad!
Do something, Marty!
Your family needs you!
[echoing] Your family needs--
your family needs you!
Ahh!
Those moles do not
look right.
[grunting]
I need a hero ♪
I'm holding out for a hero
till the end of the night ♪
- He's gotta be strong
- Dad!
Gotcha. Come on, Dad!
On the count of three, jump!
Go on. Get out of here.
If I unclog my butt
from the pipe,
this island's gonna blow.
We're not leaving you!
Yeah, well I guess
stubbornness runs
in the family, huh?
Yes! Now jump!
[all scream]
♪
[gasping]
I raised a couple
of daredevils, didn't I?
I'm never leaving
the house again.
Nate, you're grounded.
Yeah, I figured.
And for what it's worth, Marty,
well, you were right.
And I am sorry.
- About what?
- All right, what?
Are you gonna make me
list everything?
I sure am.
Ooh, actually, um, before
Gramps does that, Dad,
I have something I need to say.
What is it, son?
Please put a shirt on.
[grumbles]
[soft dramatic music]
[sighs]
You know, Dad, even though
there was never any treasure,
and I lost track of how many
near death experiences
we all had,
it all turned out okay
in the end.
That's what you gleaned
from this experience?
Well, I mean,
it all turned out okay
because you were there.
I'm sorry for not trusting you.
I followed my gut
when I should have
listened to my dad.
Ah, that's okay.
I didn't always listen
to my dad
when I was a kid.
You've got that Wright family
thirst for adventure,
which skipped a generation.
Hey. It's not like it was
really our fault that
this happened.
The curse made us do it.
So
can we crash at your place,
Marty?
Our house is in
a whale somewhere.
I have no choice, do I?
both: Nope.
This is gonna be fun!
I can't wait.
Hey, a little FYI
coming at you.
Vegetables make me gassy.
[farts] Mm, yeah.
Also fruit.
Actually, pretty much
the whole food pyramid.
Not good.
And I play the trombone
in my sleep.
Okay. I've heard enough.
You two are sharing
Nate's bedroom.
[ominous whisper]
Eewcorpico.
I don't want your
rotten beach towel ♪
Blockin' views of my ocean ♪
Holy ozone got me burnin' ♪
SPF 250 is my lotion ♪
I'm gonna bring you down ♪
Down to Chinatown,
or nearby ♪
Beach brawl, beach brawl,
beach brawl, beach brawl ♪
Beach brawl, beach brawl,
beach brawl ♪
Yeah ♪