Brothers & Sisters s02e02 Episode Script

Previously on "brothers & sisters" it's been 21 days, and I haven't heard a single thing from him.
Nora, he'll call.
I promise you, he will call.
You don't know that.
What were you doing with the bishop so long? He's sending me on a mission to malaysia.
The minute the press found out that we were engaged, I went from being a key player in your campaign to being nothing more than your fiancee.
First fiancee.
And you knew that was coming.
I am guessing that joe did not just come on to you out of the blue.
Joe, I want you to come home.
Sarah you want a divorce? Justin's unit was returning to the base, and they hit an I.
E.
D.
Was anybody hurt? - There were casualties.
- Oh, god.
attention! With blank ammunition, load! Ready! Aim! Fire! Ready! Aim! Fire! Ready! Aim! Fire! Cease fire! Present arms! I know I came this close to losing it just now.
I just I mean, these families are so incredibly brave, and I'm I'm practically a basket case.
- It's just that ever since - kitty, justin's plane left ramstein an hour ago.
They're flying him to a military hospital in san diego.
Kitty, he's coming home.
oh, gosh.
Oh, god.
Oh.
- How many letters? - 8 letters, 40 down.
You're supposed to knead the dough, nora, not throttle it.
Oh, stop.
It's therapeutic.
- okay, six letters with a - oh, my god.
Yep, it's kitty.
Here.
Talk.
- Uh, have you heard anything? - He's on his way to san diego.
Oh! Uh, how's his leg? Uh, well, I guess he's had a couple of surgeries.
Uh, the doctors here will explain.
A couple?When can we see him? Tomorrow.
Oh! Oh, gosh! He's coming home.
Justin's coming home.
- Kitty, kitty, bye! - Bye.
Bye, kitty.
Oh, my g- what did she say about his leg?I couldn't hear.
I dot know.
It doesn't matter.
Whatever it is, we'll deal with it.
- He's coming home.
- Oh, wow.
- He's coming home.
- Oh, man.
Oh, wow.
- Please don't say no.
- No.
- Why not? - "a, " I hate family law.
"B, " it is way too soon for either one of you to lawyer up, and "c, " if you and joe get a divorce, I'll be stuck doing manly chores for you every weekend.
This-this window's stuck.
No, no, Wait, wait, Try again.
This time, I want you to imagine your adorable reverend jason all sweaty in the jungles of madagcar he's in malaysia.
And how you pledged to be true to him until his return which means you won't have sex for months and months And months and months and months and months and months and months.
Great.
Butchest moment of my life wasted on my sister.
Well, I don't know what I'm being so smug about.
I'm in the same lonely, sexlxless boat as you.
Come on, you and joe were shouting it out on top of the washing machine, what, a week ago, and you're still wearing your ring.
You can't start divorce proceedings that fast.
You'll get the bends.
Well, it's not my idea.
Look, just talk to him.
You know, joe's a reasonable guy.
Try and keep things cordial.
that's your advice? Yep, and with a family discount, it'll only cost you - 200 bucks.
- Hmm.
- it's kitty.
- Mom.
Wanna trade? - Hey, kitty cat.
- Hi, mom.
- Oh, finally! - Oh, thank god! - Have you talked to him yet? - How's his leg? - His leg's the same.
- She hasn't talked to him yet.
- No, no, no, she's right here.
- No, no, no, no, he right here.
- Okay, mom wants to talk to you.
- She wants to talk to you.
- Hey, mom.
- Hi.
I know! Mom shouldn't drive herself down there.
She'll break the land speed record.
Look, I'll take her.
We'll stay the night.
Come back tuesday or or or wednesday.
you know what?Actually, uh, maybe kevin should drive her.
I should stay home with julia and the baby right now.
Um, besides, justin doesn't need the whole walker herd stampeding over him.
All right, good.
Um, all right, call me as soon as you know anything.
Bye.
thanks.
- nora? - Yeah.
Oh, my god! I can't believe it! Kevin just called.
I nearly drove off the road! You know what?You should not be driving and talking on your cell at the same time.
- How is he? - Oh, fine I guess.
I don't know.
He likes this shirt, doesn't? Yeah, he wears that one all the time.
Okay, the war moms from my online group have turned me on to "the heroes handbook".
It's all about dealing with the wounded.
They say I should bring with me some of his favorite clothes from home and a pair of old sweatpants.
That way they can cut off one of the legs if there's a cast or - I have a million things to do.
- Oh, let me help you.
What can I do? No.
I want total control right now.
We're driving down there tomorrow, and, um, depending upon his condition, they might release him the next day.
Wow.
He's coming home in two days? Yes, but he could be in a wheelchair for a while, so I've rented a van.
But with you and me and kitty and kevin and justin my god, maybe I should have rented a damn winnebago.
Wait, sarah's not going? No, she and joe are getting together to talk, which is just as well.
We don't want to overwhelm him.
- What?- Nothing.
I just- I don't think I can go.
Oh, no, no, no.
You have to go.
Come on, now.
You're part of this crazy family.
- We don't want to underwhelm him either.
- Yeah, I know.
I-there's just something that I've been putting off all summer that I really ould get done before he gets home.
You certainly are being secretive, young lady.
Well, I guess I really am a part of this crazy family.
Yeah.
yeah, I guess so.
- we have four live radio things.
- Things? Uh, interviews, uh, after which we go to des moines for a tarmac rally.
Oh, and the young republican thing-speech-is tonight.
- Do I have time for lunch? - Uh, ten minutes, exactly.
Anyway, we'll do some quick photo ops with some local supporters at the airport and then travis, I now have 9 minutes and 55 seconds left for lunch.
Where is it? Under the newspaper.
After des moines, we go to cedar rapids.
We have two speeches there, an overnight are you listening to me? It's hard not to.
You're shouting.
I'm sorry, but we are short on time.
The morning kind of got away from us.
It was a funeral.
What would you like me to do? You know what?I don't want to sound callous but that's never stopped you before.
Senator, half the time you're in the newspaper, you're at a funeral.
We're trying to project optimism and hope, remember? You have to distance yourself from this war.
Okay, honey, I'm-I'm gonna go.
Uh, where are you going? - Home.
- Right, of course.
Are you crazy?You don't have a home anymore.
We are running for president.
Travis, do me a favor.
Never have any children.
Ah.
Sorry, it's too late.
I already have three.
And you are supposed to do "good evening des moines" and the women's republican thing.
You begged me for it.
Right.
Tell them I picked out a wedding cake, and it's vanilla.
- That's all they want to know.
- What about chocolate? I don't want to get it on my dress.
Good-bye.
Mmm.
Be safe.
With all due respect, kitty, have you ever considered that you might be as much of a distraction to this campaign as you are an asset? I- I know.
Campaigning is tough for some people, but whenever something happens to your family, - you become completely irresponsible and - and and what? What? Travis, I get that robert's campaign might possibly require at least one mercenary who is aent a soul.
I just wish that mercenary was less predictable and charmless.
It so damages what little credibility you have.
And, yes, I am going home to see my brother who just got back from iraq.
You know, maybe-maybe you should go home one night and tuck your children in.
You know, before you ever dare call me irresponsible again.
Ta-ta.
- jerky? - No, thank you.
What kind of mini-mart doesn't have toffee-tastees?Here.
I don't know, mom.
That kind, okay? Would you please give me the receipt for the gas? Apparently, we can bill this whole trip to the government.
Re-what?So what?"Send your boy off to war, and we'll pay for the gas"? God, could you drive a little faster?You're driving like somebody's grandmother.
somebody's hot grandmother.
Did you notice the garage mechanic back there was cruising me? You guys never look at each other.
You're always cruising.
Remember, kevin, you're taken.
I know, but it's for a whole year.
Doesn't monogamy imply you're still having sex with someone? Maybe god is testing you.
You're right.
It's jason.
He really does talk to him.
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Come here, silly.
Come here.
Is something burning? Yeah, I forgot to put water in the sterilizer and kind of melted it.
How am I supposed to sterilize her bottles now? Come on.
It's not that big of a deal.
Give her to me.
You're holding the bottle all wrong.
Now she's gonna be colicky all day.
Julia, will you let up on me a little?Please.
I'm just trying to help.
Well, it doesn't help when you do it wrong.
Well, if I'm so inept, why'd you stop me from going to see justin? You wanna go, go.
Ah, so this is it- the kitchen.
God, this is bigger than my apartment, and you have this all to yourself? Uh, no, no.
The only reason why I'm here alone right now is because, um, my whole family went down to san diego.
My half brother justin just got back from iraq.
- Oh, wow.
That's good.
- Yeah, it is.
I can't believe this.
I mean, I know we haven't talked in a while, but it's like you have a whole new family.
I know.
It's crazy, isn't it? Is this your dad? Uh, yeah, my biological father, and every time I see that picture, I just want to wipe that smile right off of his face.
At least your mom has decent taste in men.
You know, good-looking, wealthy married.
So how's sheoing with you bng here? Oh, she's thrilled.
And by that, you mean she hates it, and we're in one of our distant phases.
Worse than in high school? No, nothing could be that bad, but you don't even know.
I mean, you graduated when I was a freshman And you were the good influence.
- Nothing like shauna.
- Oh, yeah.
Your mom despised her.
What did she call her again? - Um, "truck stop vamp" - yes.
Who, by the way, is in new york with a really good advertising job, so oh, how is that possible? I mean, I have a business degree, and I can't even find anything good.
You'll find something.
Becca, I got fired from a coffee shop.
I can't even make lattes for a living.
No, you know what?I think my mom needs someone at the vineyard, if you're interested.
I-I mean, it might just be like an office manager position or something.
Oh, please.
The fact that it has "office" in the title- that's a giant step up.
You should come with me.
I mean, I-I have to go there anyways today, so you could see her.
She'd be so glad to see you.
- You can ask her about it.
- That would be so awesome.
Oh, are you kidding me?It'd be nice to have you around more.
I've missed you.
I think it's an insult to the citizens of this great country, when making a phone call, to havto push a button to speak to someone in english oh, god, this is torture.
Kitty, how can you listen to this submoronic gas bag? It's my job, mom.
I'm- luther reeves brings in ten million loyal listeners, and and you know what?80% of them vote.
That doesn't change the fact that he's still the evil spawn of satan.
He's not evil.
He's a perfectly responsible conservative pundit.
we all know what he is, don't you, folks? Jimmy, can I get that audio of senator mccallister's speech today from his campaign rally in iowa? what the hell is that? Well, there it is, my friends, proof from the rhino's mouth I don't get it.
Robert mccallister is a republican in name only.
oh, a rino.
I get it.
Cute.
Now I'm sure a lot of you remember senator mccallister's lovely bride- to-be kitty walker from her radio days- a fine lady, love her.
See, see?He can be very sweet.
You will not believe the family freak show a mccallister presidency would foist on an unsuspecting nation.
Let's start with the mother-in-law.
I have a stack of letters to the editor this woman has written- - all strident, incomprehensible liberal screeds.
- They were not- they were not strident.
Okay, okay, enough.
No, don't-don't you dare.
Don't you dare.
This harpy essentially says that our soldiers in iraq died in vain.
I never said that.
I did not say that.
I said the war was a mistake.
Harpy?He called me "harpy"?I can't believe this.
Now I expect that kind of talk from terrorists, but not from the first mother-in-law.
Oh! All right.
No, no, no, no! Mom, no! You are not gonna call him.
Mccallister and miss walker both have gay brothers- and hold on to your airsick bags, folks- they're dating.
kind of makes you nostalgic - no! - What's the number? - Please, kevin, don'T.
- Give me the phone.
- Kevin, stop! - Bite her, mom.
Bite her! - Give me the phone! - No.
- Nobody's calling anybody.
- Pull over.
- Now stop.
- Pull over.
The white house is a symbol of all that's great about our country.
I can't stand the thought of that stately mansion being defiled by mccallister and company.
No, no, no, I'm sorry, but I draw the line at the first brothers doing the gay fandango in the lincoln bedroom.
- Oh! - I'll handle this.
hi.
Hey.
What you got there? Um, nothing.
Just, um, some lyrics.
Oh, you're writing again?Joe, that's great.
Guess I haven't had anything to write about in a while.
- Mail.
- Thank you.
Listen, joe, I know that we're both in different places emotionally right now, but do you really want to rush into a divorce? I mean, we've just told the children that we've separated.
I think we have a responsibility to just slow down a little and let them get used to things.
You're not wearing your ring.
Um, no.
Sarah, I took it off a month ago.
Oh.
Um, the reason that I wanted to talk is that, um I know it seems a little soon, uh, but paula and i have been sort of, - um, we're spending time with gabe.
- I'm sorry.
You've- you're seeing your ex-wife? It just happened.
Um gabe was going through some stuff at school, so paula and I wait, wait.
So when you and I were on the washing machine, you and paula had already right.
We should not have done that.
god.
you know, the really sad thing is I loved you, joe.
I mean, I really loved you, but nothing's ever gonna make you love yourself.
I wish I had known that when we met, because I wouldn't have wasted my time.
is exactly because I do love myself that I am admitting this is over.
I'm sorry that you think it was a waste of time.
oh, come on, kitty.
The last thing this country needs is a shrill first mother-in-law who refuses to support our troops.
oh, wow.
Luther, you know, you really need to get some new material.
I practically invented the "not supporting our troops" line four years ago on my show, and if you keep on using it, I'm gonna start charging you royalties.
Oh, and you should do your homework.
My mom, who you equated with a terrorist, happens to be a gold-star mother, which I think entitles her to voice her opinion any way she chooses.
You tell him, kitty! Well, if that's the case, I can only pray that that heroic young man.
is unaware of his mother's untriotic and frankly, treasonous rhetoric Oh! And as for my brother, luther- oh, the one who-hank god- isn't serving in the military? Luther, I am happy to talk about gay rights.
We might even have some common ground, but when you start attacking my brother personally, that is where I draw the line.
The american people are entitled to know that the lincoln bedroom might very well be used for sexual acts forbidden in the bible.
Yeah, well, that wouldn't be the first time, lucifer.
What was that?Did you just say abraham lincoln was gay? - Yes.
- No! Just pick up a recent history book, luther, if you can read.
Well, there you go, america.
The mccallister campaign thinks abe lincoln was gay.
Reach into your pockets and take out some pennies.
Look at that regal profile.
Now are you gonna stand for his legacy to be slandered by these people? You know what, luther?You have twisted every word I've said.
You and the lunatic fringe that listen to this drivel have ruined the country and subverted conservatism into the ideology of hate.
- Yes.
Oh, oh, kitty! - Beautiful.
- No, really.
- Really? - very well-saiD.
- Absolutely.
- Oh, this is not good.
- Good luck with that.
- We'll be in the car.
- Yeah, this isn't- this isn'T - Answer it? - We'll wait for you in the car.
- Are you sure?Mom? - yeah.
Hi, honey.
I have reputable advisors who are telling me that you should resign.
Oh, what, and capitulate to luther reeves? How mad is he? You gave him our heads on a silver platter.
Well, didn't you hear what he was saying? I don't care what he was saying.
I care what you were saying! Senator?You've gotta take your sea oh, robert, just listen.
I'm- I love my family.
We're on our way to see justin.
It's a- it's a very emotional time.
You called abraham lincoln a homosexual! Well, technically, that was kevin, but- but, you know, what if he were? I mean, what would you do?Dismiss his whole entire presidency? - That's not the point.
- Senator, we're taxiing.
- You really have to sit down.
- Take off.
I'll be fine.
Or I won'T.
It doesn't matter anymore.
Robert, sit down and fasten your seat belt.
Okay, I'm sitting down.
Now, as my communications director, do you mind telling me how long you think it's gonna be until this campaign can go back toalking about the issues instead of your family? - I made a mess.
I will fix it.
- Good.
Otherwise we're gonna be sucking up to democrats for eight years.
You know what?I have to go, though, okay?Bye.
Come here.
Man-to-man, is there any chance you can get out of this wedding? No.
I'm madly in love with her.
listen, you're an old friend of rebecca's, holly gave you a glowing recommendation that's good enough for me.
I can't tell you how much I need this job, but I-I just would feel really weird if you gave it to me because of nepotism.
How do you think I got this job? okay.
All right.
Well, that's good enough for me.
When do I start? Well, holly told you we're moving the offices to the vineyard, right? Well, if you're free now, there's a roomful of boxes - that need to be labeled and catalogued.
- Sure.
Do you need, uh, coffee or anything before I get started? No, I can get my own coffee.
Oh, you have no idea how happy you just made me.
tommy, I want you to see what I got for justin.
- Oh, I'm sorry, excuse me.
- No, no, no, no, no.
Saul, this is lena, uh, the new office manager.
You have my deepest condolences.
Funny.
So what did you get justin? I got justin a backgammon set.
I thought I'd teach him how to play.
That's beautiful.
It's a bakelite? Right! From the '40s.
It's an antique.
I spoil them, but what the hell?I don't have children of my own.
- What can I do? - That's true.
When we were little, saul used to take us to the most expensive restaurants.
My mom would go nuts.
Well, I obviously did something right.
I taught you how to read a wineist, didn't I? - Yeah, I was 9 - oh, god! I have an aunt like that, and she doesn't have any kids, either.
You know what?You would really like her.
Oh, come on, lena.
You know me for a second, already you're setting me up with your aunt? What are you, crazy or jewish? Well, one of 'em, at least.
Not that I'm not single.
Wait oh, I'm such an idiot.
You know, I do have this other friend- he's really handsome, completely age appropriate- no, no, no, lena! My uncle's not gay.
Of- of course not.
- I am sorry! - It's okay.
- Oh, god, I just- I lost this job- lena- lena, come on, it's okay.
I'm flattered.
I also like opera and mid-century furniture.
And the great irony of my life is that I love women as well.
Okay, so, uh you're a little crazy.
Yeah.
oh, god! I'm sorry I'm late.
I don't know why you're not down in san diego.
Then again, after this morning, I don't know why I'm not down in san diego.
did you see joe? Uh, nora said you were gonna meet with him this morning.
Yeah, I don't really wanna talk about it.
So what's up? The thing is, um the thing is, I-I kind of wanted to talk to you about joe and the kiss.
Oh, please, we are so past that.
Yeah, I know, but it's because I kissed him back.
It wasn't just him.
I may have even led him on a little bit.
I'm so sorry, sarah.
I just- I I talked to justin about it, and- and I wanted to tell you.
And I promised him I'd tell you before he got back.
And- and I don't know, I thought it could make a difference.
It might've made a difference if you'd told me then.
Now you're just telling me to make yourself feel better, which is the worst kind of selfishness.
What's going on? Rebecca's in a confessional mood.
You wanna fill your mom in? It's nothing she doesn't already know.
Oh, apparently, your dear, deflowered little girl would've screwed my husband in a heartbeat.
You two, you deserve each other.
Really? Well, maybe you got what you deserved, too.
I have a welcome package here for you with a brochure- where's the brochure? Oh! The brochure, a map and some hpful phone numbers there.
Is there a helpful phone number I might call to make you move any quicker? S- sorry, she's just very excited to see her son.
It'll be just a minute more while I print out your security badges.
I can validate your parking receipt.
You know what? We will pay for our own damn parking.
If I don't get my badge in two seconds, I'm gonna start screaming obscenities that will make every sailor in this hospital blush.
- I'm afraid she means it.
- Yes.
Ahem.
- Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! - Thank you! - okay, relax! - Jeez.
Sorry.
Hi.
Hi.
Oh, I've got you back.
I've got you back.
I'm okay.
They barely touched me.
Of course you are.
You guys here to take me home or what? No, honey, I'm sorry.
The mom rented@ut your room.
Yeah, uh, to holly harper.
Sorry I'm the one to break the news.
How are you, bro? Hi.
Hey, if you cry, you'll make 'em right about gays in the military, bro.
How's the reverend boyfriend? Oh, he's far, far away, unfortunately.
What's in the I.
V.
? Antibiotics, a little vodka and lime.
Isn't that nice? Are in you pain? Uh, no, no, they, uh, they gave me a nerve block, so I don't feel anything from the waist down, so- oh, great, at least the female population of pasadena will be safe for a while.
honey, I'm so sorry.
I wanted to bring you your toffee-tastees, but they were out of tm everywhere.
Because I think you sent the entire world supply to iraq.
By the way, mom, they're tommy's favorites, not mine.
Yeah, well, nora's been a little wiggy recently.
That's not true.
They're your favorites.
Uh, you know, I'm not gonna argue with you.
You're not? You're not gonna argue? No being pushy? Mom, you are so busted.
You've been reading that handbook, haven't you? Well, yes.
I wanna make everything easy for you.
Sarah and tommy are fixing up the study so you don't have to deal with the stairs.
And other than that, everything will be exactly the same when you get home, just like the handbook says.
Ma, enough about the handbook.
All right, all right, the handbook said you'd say that.
Are come here.
I missed you.
I love you, mom.
I love you.
I love you, too.
Here we go, coffees all around.
Oh, thank you.
Look, they have a whole chapter on dealing with your hometown media.
Is that meant to be sarcastic, mother? Because I have enough to deal with without you gloating.
I'm not gloating.
Can I gloat? Feel free, but there goes your invitation to the inaugural ball.
I don't care.
Jason will ask me, and then I'll waltz all night with the president's brother.
Excuse me? Nora walker? Yes.
Hi, captain edwards.
I'm justin's doctor.
Nice to meet you.
- He's your brother, right? - Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, can we take him home? He is stable, so I'm gonna sign his discharge papers.
Yeah.
Um, so he will make a full recovery? With proper care and rehab, yes.
But he still has a long way to go.
But why don't you go ahead and sit? Thank you.
the knee injury is a little bit thorny.
Uh, the ligaments are all repaired, however, there's still nerve and tissue damage.
And when that nerve block wears off, it's gonna hurt like hell.
Well, aren't you gonna prescribe something? Yes.
but given justin's history of drug addiction, weanna be respectful of his desires.
And he is completely against taking any narcotics.
Well, is that stupid or brave? He's a good soldier, so it's both.
And though commendable, it is completely unrealistic.
You see, he has to start physical therapy right away.
And without something for the pain, it'S but you know what? Um, we don't have to make any decisions right now, okay? So I'm gonna release him tomorrow.
Okay.
You guys go and have some dinner.
Pleasure meeting all of you.
Nice meeting you, too.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
Um, one more question, doctor.
Um, how long will he be in a wheelchair? You know, I would keep him off the leg for a while, and he's gonna hate you, he's gonna fight you on it, but it's best if he doesn't put any pressure on it for at least two weeks.
- All right.
- Okay, take care.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
Tommy, this is great! Perfect! You saved the day.
Thanks.
What was that for? I don't know, it's just been a while since somebody said something that nice to me.
Yeah, I know the feeling.
Mommy! Mommy! - I made uncle justin in his helmet! - Look what we made! I made an eagle and a flag, too.
- I can't believe you did this yourselves.
- Daddy even got some balloons.
- He did? - beautiful, guys.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Hey, um, all right, look, let's go hang these up, guys.
Justin's gonna love 'em.
Thank you, that was really sweet.
Well we're still family.
um, kitty, just go inside and tell everyone to calm down.
The last thing justin needs right now is a lot of excitement.
- Mom.
- What? He's hurt his leg, okay? He doesn't have the vapors.
- I'll go get your stuff.
- Thanks.
I'll get your chair.
You all right? let's just get you in there, okay? All right.
Take me to the station and put me on a train wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
What- what are you doing? Going inside, mom.
Not with those.
Don't worry.
I'm not gonna put any pressure on my knee.
The doctor was very clear.
You're not to use your crutches for a while.
I'm not going in there any other way, mom.
Okay? This is your family.
No one cares.
Justin, I don't know what you're doing, but if you hurt yourself, it's not worth it.
What are you trying to prove? That I'm still me.
Now I am so poor hey, man.
But never in my sweet, short life have I felt like this before Isn't she orable? Wow, she's beautiful, tommy.
I think you e-mailed me those, like, two weeks ago.
No, no, no.
No, no.
These are new.
Look at all her new hair.
Oh, she's beautiful, buddy.
Thanks.
here you go, justin.
- Cheeseburger, medium rare.
- Oh, thank you, uncle saul.
No, no, saul.
He likes them well-done.
Just put it back on the grill.
Uh, medium-rare is fin uncle saul.
Thank you.
Uh, no thanks.
eyes dark and face so pale I don't think I'm gonna be able to eat with everyone staring at me.
Sorry, sorry.
Disperse.
You know what? Paige, cooper, let's go watch uncle tommy eat.
It's so much more fun, and if we get really close, maybe we'll hear his jaw click.
yeah, get over here, kids.
You want a near beer with that? Uh, no.
Probably still a little too near for me - yeah.
- So just water.
Thank you.
Made me look up from my shoes to show me hey, coop, no.
Get out, get out.
Get out.
It's not a toy.
Hey, coop.
Come on.
Grandma's right, out of there.
- no, but I want to.
- That's justin's chair, honey.
Coop, you want a ride, buddy? Here, I'll give you a ride.
Oh, thanks.
Free wheelchair rides.
All right.
Hey, come on.
Oh, no! No.
Cooper, cooper, cooper.
Justin's leg is hurt, and we have to not touch it, okay? All right, you know what? Cooper, paige, there's gonna be wheelchair rides at the front door in 30 seconds, all right? First one there gets the first ride.
Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Justin, what is the matter with you? You just got out of the hospital.
- You can't do this.
- Mom, you know what? I can take care of myself, mom.
Sweetheart, you're home now.
You can let your guard down.
You have to admit you're hurt.
Let me take care of you.
You want to take care of me? Then back off, mom.
All right? no.
God, I was afraid this would happen.
He's not the same boy I said good-bye to four months ago.
No, but he- he couldn't be.
It's not possible.
You just have to be patient, I guess.
hello! - Oh, no.
- Oh, god.
Oh, no, no.
Okay, no.
N - now, look.
I am- I am trying to deal with this luther reeves imbroglio, but it's just a- it's a- well, it's- it's- it's not a good time for the family.
She's right.
It's a very complicated family imbroglio And- and while you may or may not still want to be a part Guys, guys, it's okay.
I invited him.
Oh, well um, want a hot dog? I feel kind of stupid.
I didn't mean for you to fly halfway across the country.
Well, don't tell the good citizens of iowa, but I'd much rather be here with you.
How's it- how's it going, the campaign? We're raising money.
Your sister's raising hell.
Same old, same old.
How about you? I nearly g blown up.
Couple of knee surgeries, the usua the usual? How's the leg? You in pain? No, I-I wish I were, you know? It might distract me.
I just feel like I'm- I'm crawling out of my skin.
You know, lastime I came home, I was so stoned, I didn't- you know, I didn't know what I was feeling.
Yeah, that's the point of being stoned.
Yeah.
Now I know what I'm missing.
my mom is being so mom.
You know, I-I- look, I feel bad, but she's- she's driving me freakin' insane, you know? All I wanna do is be left alone and I'm not gonna lie to you, justin.
It's not gonna be easy.
You know, everyone here, they don't- they don't know what I saw.
They don't know what people are capable of, you know? I'm just not sure I'll be able to forget now.
Don'T.
You shouldn'T.
That's how we honor the dead.
You'll come home again.
I promise.
Thanks.
So are you still gonna marry kitty? You heard about the radio thing, huh? Along with 200 million other people.
I guess.
Why not? Good, because I know she's kinda stoked about being a mccallister, but I'm kinda glad you're gonna become a walker.
Well, then that makes everything else worth it.
It's almost noon, and he's not up yet.
He's probably still on baghdad time.
I wouldn't wake him, though.
Oh, please.
I've had every single member of this family instruct me to back off.
I'll only wake him if the house is on fire.
All right, I gotta go.
Would you tell him that I'm sorry I missed him, and I'll come back- wait, wait.
Not so fast, honey.
Changes of plans.
You're gonna do the luther reeves show this afternoon.
No, I'm not.
Kitty, that's a terrible idea.
You can't dignify that clown by talking to him.
You know, I know this is going to come as a shock to you, but I agree with nora.
This guy's a partisan hack.
He's gonna be onto somebody else next week.
We gotta get off his radar, not stay on it.
So just call and cancel.
Mom, did you know that there's a lincoln highway in iowa? No.
Oh, yeah, stretches all the way across the state, from potawatomi to the illinois border.
We drive it many times between campaign stops, but I just found out that there's gonna be a movement of thousands of angry reeves fans to collect lincoln pennies, stand at the side of the road and pelt robert with them as he drives by.
Good god.
We don't care what those crazy people think.
Well, so far, there's, um, cnn, "the wall street journal, " "the daily show"- this whole thing makes me want to move to france.
It would be so helpful if you would.
And take kitty with you.
All right, all right, I'll do it.
Good.
Now don't let him suck you into a conversation about me.
Whatever he says, whatever he asks, you just steer it right back to the issues.
Oh, and don't apologize.
The fact that you're there already is an apology enough.
Let's get it over with.
Will you give him one message for me? no.
heY.
Hey.
I've been trying to call you.
Do you wanna talk about what happened? What's there to talk about? I let everyone believe he was a lecherous old man, and I got what I deserved.
Oh, sweetie, joe is not old, and that marriage was already beyond repair.
Mom, why do you do that? Why do you let me off the hook like that? Because who am i to judge you? But there are consequences to everything.
I know, and I'm sorry you're feeling them.
what was I thinking? It's like I've been pretending to be a part of that family all summer, and I'm not.
It's pathetic.
No, becca.
What is pathetic is that I did this to you.
I am sorry.
I'm sorry.
I love you.
so let me ask you what all of america is dying to know.
Were you as shocked as I was when your fiancee, kitty walker, accused honest abe of being a gay? I was shocked by a lot of things that were said that day.
I think what america's responding to is- is the whole tone your fiancee took when she called.
I'd like to hear what her other feels about the war.
I can't imagine he shares any of his mother's views.
Look, I don't share many of my future mother-in-law's views either, but she's not unpatriotic, and she's certainly not treasonous- your words.
And I stand by them.
Well, I'm not gonna give you an education on discourse, but if you think that I came on here today to distance myself from kitty or her liberal mother.
or gay brother or my gay brother, for that matter, well, luther, you have got to be nuts Well, that's extremely disappointing because I believe america's looking for a leader who has the courage to stand up for what's right and to point out what's wrong.
And I think america's looking for somebody who knows the difference, and the only way to do that is by listening, not antagonizing.
My future in-laws are very different from me and different from each other.
So they are, by definition, my greatest asset, because they remind me that we are all part of a larger american family and that no one is irrelevant and no one should be ignored.
And, luther, I think the bigger question is not why I feel a part of them, but why you don'T.
Not bad.
It's very risky to shoot from the hip le that.
I mean, it worked this time, but it's a dangerous game.
And you're lucky it wasn't on television, 'cause you have a spot on your tie.
You should be fawning all over me, considering I just single-handedly cleaned up your mess, right? Just one more thing.
Why am I always the fiancee, and you're the future husband? You're a fiance, too.
Same word, one less "E.
- " Are you done? - That's it.
Good.
I'm speechless.
Speechless.
Well, that's unfortunate, considering we're still in the middle of a campaign.
Okay, I'll roll with the punches.
It hurts, but I'll roll.
Oh, um, and about the other thing, my answer- when soldiers stop dying.
What? That's when I'll stop going to funerals.
justin? I'm fine, mom.
Will you just please leave me alone? It wore off, didn't it, the nerve block? Mom, would you would you just please leave? Sweethea, you have to take something.
I can'T.
I can'T.
oh, justin.
Mom.
Hold on.
Just hold on.
Hold on tight.
We'll get through this.
- Oh, god.
- Hold on.