Clone High (2023) s02e02 Episode Script
Don't You Get It? Sports Are Huge in This Town
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
NARRATOR: 1965.
High school sports
were all the rage.
-(CROWD CHEERING)
-NARRATOR: Football. Basketball.
Baseball.
And the most popular sport
of all,
snorkeling.
-(WHISTLE BLOWS)
-NARRATOR: As thousands
of high school athletes
dove into the pool to compete,
-there was one shining star
-(EAGLE SCREECHING)
who outshone them all.
Young Cinnamon J. Scudworth.
As everyone knows
in the extremely popular sport
of competitive snorkeling,
players have to spot fish.
No one could spot more fish
than Scudworth.
-And the world
was starting to notice.
-(CROWD CHEERING)
(KISSES)
FISH GIRL: (GASPS)
He pointed at me! (SQUEALS)
-(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-Yeah, I remember,
Scudworth took this rinky dink
little school all the way
-to the National
Snorkeling Invitational
-(CROWD CHEERING)
in Big City, USA.
-I invested a fortune
-(CROWD CHEERING)
in that big-nippled
son of a bitch.
NARRATOR: But alas,
as with all rising stars,
-eventually they must fall.
-(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Scudworth, the National
Snorkeling Invitational
-starts in 20 minutes!
-(YOUNG PRINCIPAL SCUDWORTH
MUNCHING)
You need a full 30
before you go swimming!
Don’t you get it?
I don’t care! I feel invincible!
NARRATOR:
But he was very vincible.
My tummy! It hurts so much!
Owie!
NARRATOR: He was diagnosed
with type-1 tummy cramps.
A devastating blow
to his future
-(GURGLING SCREAM)
-and his bowels.
-After that, people weren’t
pointing with him anymore
-(CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING)
-they were pointing at him.
-(LAUGHTER)
(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
I was done with Scudworth.
I mean, imagine a snorkeler
getting pointed at
like some fish.
I can’t think of anything worse.
Except maybe if you were
a high jumper
and people started jumping
over you.
NARRATOR: On the cusp
of fame and fortune,
Scudworth lost it all.
He retreated from the spotlight
-never to be seen again.
-(FLIES BUZZ)
(CAN POPS OPEN)
(INHALES, GULPS)
CHEERLEADERS:
Sports! Sports! Sports! Sports!
SACAGAWEA: And another
disappointing effort
(CROWD BOOS)
by the Clone High
snorkeling team.
-(CROWD BOOING)
-(BUZZER BLARES)
It’s the biggest loss
of the season,
but the team has still launched
into their famous
post-game celebration.
(CHANTING) We tried!
-Yeah, yeah, we tried!
-What’d we do?
(CHANTING) Yeah, we tried!
Yeah, yeah, we tri--
Ah! I missed.
(CHANTING) But you tried!
Yeah, yeah, you tried.
(MARCHING BAND RENDITION
OF "CLONE HIGH THEME SONG"
PLAYING) ♪
(SONG CONCLUDES) ♪
(MELANCHOLIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(GULPS)
-(GLASS SHATTERING)
Hmm?
Wistful sigh.
How did I fall so far, Mr. B?
I was the face of the biggest
snorkeling company in the world.
Now, I’m trapped
in this godforsaken town,
coaching nothing but losers!
Maybe it’s time to stop thinking
about snorkeling so much?
You know, you’re also
-a pretty successful sci--
-SCUDWORTH: Balderdash!
I need a protégé.
Someone I can take to the top.
Someone who can help me
recapture the glory I felt
before I ruined everything!
(SCREAMS IN PAIN)
(SQUEALS)
Hey, P. Scud.
Ooh, you’ve got a bunch of glass
stuck in you.
Sixteen pieces in your left leg,
18 in the right leg,
nine in your right arm,
six in your left arm,
and 14 in your face.
(INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC
PLAYING) ♪
Frida Kahlo, you just pointed
and counted all that
with the effortless skill
of a snorkeling champion.
A snorkeling what now?
How do you feel about the smell
and taste of chlorine?
Love it, obviously.
You have to join
my snorkeling team.
-You have such a natural talent.
-Eh.
I’m more into right-brained,
left-wing shiz, like, painting!
I’m submitting a piece
to the Exclamation
Fine Arts Festival,
and the first prize
is a full ride
to the Exclamation Art College.
Oh, Frida, the dream
is to get out of this podunk,
backwards, one-horse,
dead-end shithole.
Every one of these losers
would give their middle nut
to get outta here.
-Please take my middle nut!
-Take me!
I mean, it’s a good art school.
Plus, Cleo’s here.
She’s pretty much my muse.
(EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(MUSIC INTENSIFIES, FADES) ♪
Here you go, boo.
This one’s finished.
Oh, cool!
Our heads on a platter.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
-'Cause we a feast, babe!
-So, good. (CHUCKLES)
Listen, Frida,
snorkeling can make you rich!
So, instead of giving
Cleo paintings,
you can buy her things
she’ll actually enjoy,
like catamarans
and Gila monsters.
Every girl wants a Gila monster
these days.
(GRUNTS, BREATHES DEEPLY)
Safe and sound.
Yeah. You really think
I could make it big
as a swimmer with a pipe?
It’s called snorkeling, and yes,
you could. With me by your side.
Okay. Let me submit this
to the festival,
then I’ll give it a try.
Later, Principal Scudworth!
Frida. Call me
Coach Scuddy Buddy.
(CHUCKLES) Nah. Bye!
-(BAND MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-Steady! A little higher!
You got it, Marie?
(GRUNTS, GROANS)
You’re the base,
Marie Antoinette.
The most important position
on the mat!
So, we need you
to hold it together.
(GROANS) I am try
(GRUNTS)
-(BONES POPPING)
-(SCREAMS)
(CHEERLEADERS SCREAM)
(GASPS) Her head
is completely off!
Get the school nurse over here.
I think she needs a Tylenol.
On the plus side,
at least she lost a few pounds.
We need a new base
for the reverse
pyramid stunt, stat!
No one else is strong enough,
Harriet!
Well, we need to find someone!
The reverse pyramid
is the whole reason
I’m getting scouted
by Big City College University.
They’ve got the best
film program in the country,
and a cheer scholarship
is my only way in.
-Good luck!
-(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Looks like Harriet’s in trouble
without Marie Antoinette.
When popular kids suffer,
Bleacher Creatures rejoice!
-BLEACHER CREATURES: Huzzah!
-Yes.
-(QUIETLY) Uh, huzzah.
-Oh! Evil idea alert.
Let’s sabotage the cheerleaders
from the inside.
-You mean wear their skins?
-No, Ivan the Terrible.
Joan can join the squad
and take 'em down from within.
And trigger
another Cheermageddon!
What’s Cheermageddon?
-(DOO WOP MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-Some years ago Gertrude Stein
had a cheer scholarship
to Oxford
until she went
to hold up the Y in "Yell"
and it was upside down.
(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(CROWD GASPS)
TOPHER BUS: The cheerleaders
appeared to be saying,
“Hell together.”
-Huh? (GRUNTS)
-TOPHER:
Everyone was so confused
-that the sports team lost
the sports game.
-Hot dogs!
(BOTH SCREAMS)
(CROWD SCREAMS)
TOPHER: As the holder
of the inverted Y,
Gertrude ended up losing
her full-ride cheerleading
scholarship to Oxford
-to cheer for the queen.
-(CROWD BOOING)
Okay, wait, I don’t really
wanna ruin Harriet’s life.
She was my best friend.
Until she kicked you
to the curb.
The same curb to which
we’ve all been kicked.
Bleacher Creatures don’t get
offered scholarships
to fancy schools.
You think any of us are ever
gonna get outta this town?
We can’t even get out
of these bleachers.
But I don’t know
if I wanna hurt her
just because she’s upset.
HARRIET TUBMAN:
Don’t Joan this up, squad!
-Yes, that's right.
-Huh?
Joan’s a verb now.
It means "screwing everything up
for everyone else."
Oh my God! It's already
in the Urban Dictionary.
All right, I’ll take her down.
(SINISTER LAUGHTER)
-(CHEWS NERVOUSLY)
-(CROWD CHEERING)
(SCUDWORTH GULPING)
Hey, P. Scud.
Any words of wisdom
-for my first match?
-(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
All right, rookie.
I'm going to give you
the same advice
the great Schneider Snorkelle
once gave me.
Go out there and point at fish.
Got it.
-(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(BLOWS WHISTLES)
-(CROWD CHEERING)
-(SCREAMS)
-(WATER SPLASHING)
-(DING)
(DING)
(CONTINUOUS DINGING)
(DING)
Yes!
(DOLPHIN SQUEAKING)
(SCOREBOARD DINGING)
-(CROWD CHEERING)
-(CONTINUOUS DINGING)
(CROWD CHEERING)
(DINGING)
(TIMER CLICKS)
(DING)
-(SCOREBOARD DINGS)
-(BUZZER BLARES)
(CROWD CHEERS)
I never thought I’d say this,
but Clone High wins
the snorkeling match!
(SHOUTING) Goal-d-fish!
We actually won.
-You did it, Frida!
-Thanks, Coach.
(CHANTING) We tried!
Yeah, yeah we tried!
No, you morons, you won!
It doesn’t mean
we didn’t try, Coach!
(CHANTING) We tried!
Yeah, yeah, we tried!
And were successful!
(MARCHING BAND MUSIC
PLAYING) ♪
(CHEWS)
Okay, Genghis,
your job is just to stand here
and hold everyone up.
Do you think you can do that?
Yes!
-Okay, squad, reverse pyramid!
-(MARIE ANTOINETTE SCREAMS)
That’s it, Genghis!
Pyramid, let’s see
those arms up straight!
-(CHEERLEADERS SCREAM)
-No, not you, Genghis!
(CHEERLEADERS GASP)
Whoa! Got it!
-Whoa.
-Joan?
What is she doing here?
Whoa! She just caught
all five of them.
-Uh, actually there were nine.
-(CHEERLEADER SCREAMS, GROANS)
What’s all this about?
You said you think
cheerleading is for stupid
-shouting whores.
-(MARIE SCREAMS)
Ah, used to.
But now, I think
it’s for smart shouting whores.
-(CHEERLEADER SCREAMS)
-(THUD)
As much as it pains me
after you betrayed me,
I need you on my squad.
But you’re not in my squad.
Got it, Betray Zellweger?
Got it.
(CHEERLEADERS SCREAM, GROAN)
For Frid’s a jolly
Good Kahlo! ♪
For Frid’s a jolly
Good Kahlo! ♪
-(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
-Excuse me.
-Uh, is this where I can find
-(GASPS)
Frida Kahlo?
-(CHEERLEADER SCREAMS)
-Oh, my God!
-(BOTTLE SHATTERING)
-Schneider Snorkelle!
-Scudworth, is that you?
-Yes, sir.
My God, you look like shit.
But hell,
I thought you were dead,
so I-- I guess congratulations.
Frida, this is the most
influential man
in the world of snorkeling.
Listen to every word
he has to say.
I wish I did
when I had the chance.
(CLEARS THROAT) I like
what I saw out there today, kid.
I wanna make you part
of the Schneider
Snorkeling family.
How does 5,000 schmackers sound
as a signing bonus?
-Whoa!
-That’s a lot of money
-for most people, not me.
-(WHISTLES)
And you. I like
the redemption angle here.
If you can get this team to make
the National
Snorkeling Invitational,
I’ll give you a spot
on our coaching staff
-at the new facility.
-(UPLIFTING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
The Schnorkelplex.
Big City, USA.
Just don’t Joan it up this time.
I won’t let you down again,
Mister Snorkelle!
-All right, then.
-(SCREAMS)
-I’m off to look at more kids
-(GROANS)
-in swimsuits.
-(JFK GROANING)
Uh, for scouting purposes,
of course.
-(TOWEL WHIPPING)
-(JFK SCREAMING)
-(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-Okay, squad!
Now, that our snorkeling team
is good,
we’ve got a better shot
at making it
out of this disgusting town.
We need to play
to our big strength, spelling.
No, Betsy Ross! No!
That’s wrong.
Listen, squad.
We have to get this right.
We can’t have
another Cheermageddon!
So, Cheermageddon’s
pretty bad, huh?
It’s only, like,
my biggest fear in the world
other than jack-in-the-boxes.
The toy and the restaurant.
Everyone expects me
to get recruited
by Big City College University
and if I don’t get in
Hey, why am I telling you
any of this?
We’re not friends anymore.
(SCOFFS)
I know, we’re just cheerleaders
on the same team.
Exactly. You know,
this isn’t easy for me to say,
obviously,
but, um, you were okay
out there today. (SIGHS)
-I was?
-Let’s just say you weren’t
a total flaming garbage dump
and leave it at that.
-Professional compliment over!
-(GASPS)
TOPHER: Psst! Nice work.
Making them think
you’re actually enjoying
doing those dumb cheers
with those stupid idiots.
Yeah. It really seemed like
I was having fun hanging out
with my old pal, right?
TOPHER: Now,
that Harriet trusts you,
we can put our super complicated
plan in place.
IVAN THE TERRIBLE:
When they spell out
“Clone High,”
you’ll switch out the letters
so it spells out, “Bone High.”
TOPHER: (CHUCKLES)
Isn’t that so funny?
"Bone" instead of "clone."
It’s like, wha (CHUCKLES)
It’s gonna be
a full on Cheermageddon!
-(BLEACHER CREATURES LAUGH)
-Yeah. (FAKE LAUGHS) Right.
-(CROWD CHEERS)
-SACAGAWEA: Well, snorkel fans,
Clone High’s
hot streak continues.
If they keep this up, we could
be heading for Big City, USA.
Throw me an energy bar, Coach.
Not a chance in hell.
We’ve got another match
in 15 minutes.
Eating now could end
your entire snorkeling career.
-Why do you say that?
-Don’t you get it?
-(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-Cramps!
Yikes.
If we’re going to make
nationals,
you still got a lot to learn.
And I’ve got a lot to teach.
(CHOMPS)
Oh, God. Yuck. Goddamn it.
(GAGS) I did you a favor.
-(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(FRIDA PANTS, GRUNTS)
(GUNSHOT)
(GUNSHOT)
(BLOWS)
(LAUGHS)
(KISSES)
(LAUGHS) Whoo!
-(GRUNTS)
-Yes!
Yes!
(SURFER ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
GROUP: (CHANTING) Frida! Frida!
Frida! Frida! Frida!
Free pinto bean budinos
for the winners.
GROUP: Whoo!
Listen up.
If we win next Friday,
we’ll earn a spot
in the National Snorkeling
Invitational in Big City, USA,
and I can finally leave
this town for good.
Frida, keep up the good work.
The rest of you,
don’t Joan this out.
-Uh, it’s “Joan this up.”
-Never correct me! (GRUMBLES)
Wait, I thought you were going
to that art expo next Friday?
You know, I never heard back
about the stuff I submitted.
But it doesn’t matter.
I need that snorkeling money
so I can buy you pricy things.
Which reminds me,
how do you like this
dining room set by Broyhill?
-(APPLAUSE)
-(CROWD GASPING)
Oh, my God, yes! Give it to me.
(CHUCKLES) A lot better
than those worthless paintings
I used to give you, huh?
I mean, I wanna say no,
but, like, I physically can’t.
(LAUGHS)
You know what I’m saying?
(CHUCKLES) Yeah.
(SIGHS) Listen, Frida.
You need to do
what makes you happy.
-That’s sweet, babe.
-Well, I mean it.
And if spoiling me rotten
makes you happy,
I’m just gonna have
to respect that.
It does make me happy.
And to be honest,
I don’t think about painting
at all anymore.
(SOFT GUITAR
DRAMATIC FLOURISH) ♪
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
I can’t believe it,
but we’re one win away
from the National Invitational.
We’re gonna have
to be absolutely flawless today.
Right.
-Thanks, Gertrude.
-(GRUMBLES)
Wait, Gertrude Stein?
Yeah. After Cheermageddon,
she just lost it.
We let her help out around here.
Keeps her off the streets.
But the fact that it takes
only one mistake
to end up that way,
it’s terrifying, you know?
-(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-Yeah.
I’ve never said that out loud
to anyone before.
But I gotta admit,
talking about it with you, uh,
actually makes me
feel less afraid.
(CLICKS TONGUE)
Aw, well that’s nice.
And I can’t believe
I’m saying this,
but I might actually be
in the process of forgiving you.
Maybe a person
can get over a betrayal.
They can?
But could they get over
two betrayals?
You know, hypothetically?
No way, girl! One betrayal max.
But luckily,
that’s all we’re dealing with.
Welp, off to stretch
before the big match.
(CHUCKLES) Two betrayals.
Good one, Joan!
-(JOAN OF ARC GROANS SOFTLY)
-(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-Girl’s locker room, Topher.
-TOPHER: Right, right, sorry.
-(UPLIFTING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(BIRDS CHIRPING)
Today’s the day, Cinnamon.
Redemption is in the air.
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
-Ah, undoubtedly a well-wisher.
-(GLASS SHATTERING)
Clone High High School,
Principal Cinnamon
J. Scudworth speaking.
What? (CHUCKLES)
Oh, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.
No. No, no, no.
A thousand times no.
She’s on her way to the National
Snorkeling Invitational.
She doesn’t want any part
of your art expo.
This is a classic
“talk to the hand” situation.
Unsubscribe.
-FRIDA: Hey, Scudworth.
-(SCREAMS)
Did you ever hear
from that art expo I entered?
They were supposed to call here
because it’s weird for grown-ups
to call high school kids.
It is weird for grown-ups
to call high school kids.
(HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) I never
heard a thing from that contest!
-(TELEPHONE RINGING)
-(RECEIVER CLATTERING)
Oh, okay. Just wanted to check.
I-- I guess snorkeling
really is my only option.
Now, you’re talking!
See you out there, superstar!
-(WHEELS SQUEAKING)
-(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Don’t look at me like that.
Turn around.
I can still see your eyes!
Keep turning!
Oh, you are just like my mother!
(CROWD CHEERING)
CHEERLEADERS:
Sports! Sports! Sports! Sports!
Sports! Sports! Sports! Sports!
There you are!
What took you so long?
I was kinda nervous,
so I went and painted some stuff
to calm me down.
This is the last painting
I’ll ever do
since I’m obviously
very bad at it.
-That you are!
-(PAINTING CLATTERING)
Now get changed.
It’s winning time.
Hey, Scudworth, just want
to say good luck tonight.
Hope we don't
"cramp" your style.
(GROUP LAUGHS)
-'Cause you got a cramp.
-I know that, Abe!
-(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(TOILET RATTLING)
(GRUNTS) Here you go!
Are you sure we wanna do this?
Don’t you get it?
Harriet’s not your friend, Joan.
She’s just strong-arming you
into using your strong arms.
You think she’s gonna be
your friend
when the season is over?
She ain’t.
But you know who is?
We, the Bleacher Creatures.
-The outcasts of society!
-The pariahs of the school!
Also, can you Venmo me your dues
for this month?
Bleacher Creatures forever!
-(CROWD CHEERING)
-Folks, it’s the moment
we’ve all been waiting for.
-(CROWD CHEERS)
-(INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Snorkelers, secure your goggles!
(AIR HORN BLARES)
Go, Frida! Point!
Go, babe!
Mama needs a cashmere pashmina!
Look over there! Look! Point!
Look! Point!
See. The. Fish.
Point at that one!
Point with your whole body!
Use the snorkel!
Circle breathing,
circle breathing!
Don't miss the grouper!
-There's another one!
-Hey, I think this is yours.
No, I don’t want it.
Get outta the way. I’m coaching.
Excuse me, Frida gave this
to you as a gift.
And it clearly meant a lot
to her
if she went to the trouble
of painting it for you,
and you’re gonna take it!
Ugh! Fine,
I’ll take the stupid--
-(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(GASPS) But this isn’t stupid.
It’s exquisite.
What have I done?
(CONTINUOUS DINGING)
(INSPIRING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(CROWD GASPING)
-(COUGHS, GROANS)
Frida, are you okay?
What’s going on?
She got accepted
to the art expo.
That’s where she belongs.
No way. Congrats, babe!
But the contest is starting now!
I’ll never make it in time!
Oh, yes, you will.
This may be a one-horse town,
but sometimes (WHISTLES)
-(HORSE NEIGHS)
-(CROWD GASPING)
one horse is all you need.
Scudworth!
Get Frida back in that pool,
or I will personally guarantee
that you never get
outta this town!
This isn’t about me.
It’s about Frida.
And Frida is an artist.
So, with all due respect,
Schneider Snorkelle
-you can schuck it!
-Yeah, schuck off!
-All right!
-Let’s go, babe!
-Hi-ya!
-(HORSE NEIGHS)
-(CROWD CHEERING)
-(INSPIRING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
BYSTANDER: (SCREAMING)
Watch out for that horse!
(CAR CRASHING)
-(SOLDIER SCREAMING)
-(HELICOPTER THRUMMING)
-(SOLDIER SCREAMING)
-(EXPLOSIONS)
-(FIRE TRUCK BLARING)
-(DOLPHIN SQUEAKING)
Ooh. I hope everyone’s okay.
Hey, since Cleo left
and she’s the top
of the pyramid,
we should probably
just call it, huh?
No way! A scout from Big City
College University is here!
We’ll have to make some
adjustments.
I’ll move to top left
and have Abigail shift
to Cleo’s spot.
Uh, wait,
so you’ll be holding
The all-important first letter.
But as long as you’re the base,
I know we can do it.
-(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(BLEACHER CREATURES LAUGH)
(CROWD CHEERS)
(CHANTING) Let’s hear you
scream for our snorkel team!
(CHEERLEADERS CHEERING)
-(GRUNTS)
-(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
GERTRUDE STEIN: I used
to be somebody.
Gertrude Stein?
No! I spelled a dirty word.
Now, I’m Dirty Gerty!
(CACKLES, SCREECHES)
I made a nest out of pom-poms!
(CACKLES)
Harriet! Don’t!
You can’t put up that letter!
What? Why?
If you don’t want
to end up like Dirty Gerty,
you gotta trust me.
Ready, team? Three, two, one!
(CROWD CHEERING)
-One high!
-As in, we’re all one!
No matter what our differences,
-we’re still One High!
-(LAUGHS) Ah!
(SIGHS)
TOPHER: “One High”?
What happened to “Bone High”?
One High is like implying
all of us are high
on marijuana pot!
That’s a sick burn.
Violence was chosen today.
Hurrah! One High!
-What just happened?
-(GRUNTS)
Who did this?
-Harriet, I’m a jerk.
-(UPLIFTING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
I was mad at you,
so I was going to betray you
Again. But I couldn’t go
through with it
and not just because I have
terrible follow through.
I understand if you go
right back to hating me again.
Wait! The important thing is,
you told me.
And to be honest,
I really do wanna be
friends again.
-(GASPS) Really?
-(SHUSHES) In secret.
You’re still a social outcast,
remember?
I would be honored
to be your friend
that you’re too embarrassed
to admit you’re friends with
to your other friends.
Well, I guess,
I’ll see you around
(WHISPERING) friend.
(CHANTING) We tried!
Yeah, yeah, we tried!
ABE LINCOLN: What’d we do?
(CHANTING) Yeah, we tried!
Yeah, yeah, we tried!
So hard.
Why don’t you go hit
the showers, fellas?
(JFK HUMMING)
-(TOWEL WHIPPING)
-(JFK YELPS)
(SIGHS) Looks like
it didn’t go our way.
It was a blood bath.
But what about you?
How was the art expo?
They gave me this.
I wanted to turn it down
'cause giving awards
for art is kinda stupid.
But I thought it would look good
on a special someone.
Me? What?
I know that wasn’t easy,
what you did for me today.
But I really appreciate it,
Coach Scuddy Buddy.
She said the nickname
I assigned myself.
(UPLIFTING MUSIC
INTENSIFIES) ♪
(MUSIC FADES) ♪
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(SONG CONCLUDES) ♪
NARRATOR: 1965.
High school sports
were all the rage.
-(CROWD CHEERING)
-NARRATOR: Football. Basketball.
Baseball.
And the most popular sport
of all,
snorkeling.
-(WHISTLE BLOWS)
-NARRATOR: As thousands
of high school athletes
dove into the pool to compete,
-there was one shining star
-(EAGLE SCREECHING)
who outshone them all.
Young Cinnamon J. Scudworth.
As everyone knows
in the extremely popular sport
of competitive snorkeling,
players have to spot fish.
No one could spot more fish
than Scudworth.
-And the world
was starting to notice.
-(CROWD CHEERING)
(KISSES)
FISH GIRL: (GASPS)
He pointed at me! (SQUEALS)
-(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-Yeah, I remember,
Scudworth took this rinky dink
little school all the way
-to the National
Snorkeling Invitational
-(CROWD CHEERING)
in Big City, USA.
-I invested a fortune
-(CROWD CHEERING)
in that big-nippled
son of a bitch.
NARRATOR: But alas,
as with all rising stars,
-eventually they must fall.
-(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Scudworth, the National
Snorkeling Invitational
-starts in 20 minutes!
-(YOUNG PRINCIPAL SCUDWORTH
MUNCHING)
You need a full 30
before you go swimming!
Don’t you get it?
I don’t care! I feel invincible!
NARRATOR:
But he was very vincible.
My tummy! It hurts so much!
Owie!
NARRATOR: He was diagnosed
with type-1 tummy cramps.
A devastating blow
to his future
-(GURGLING SCREAM)
-and his bowels.
-After that, people weren’t
pointing with him anymore
-(CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING)
-they were pointing at him.
-(LAUGHTER)
(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
I was done with Scudworth.
I mean, imagine a snorkeler
getting pointed at
like some fish.
I can’t think of anything worse.
Except maybe if you were
a high jumper
and people started jumping
over you.
NARRATOR: On the cusp
of fame and fortune,
Scudworth lost it all.
He retreated from the spotlight
-never to be seen again.
-(FLIES BUZZ)
(CAN POPS OPEN)
(INHALES, GULPS)
CHEERLEADERS:
Sports! Sports! Sports! Sports!
SACAGAWEA: And another
disappointing effort
(CROWD BOOS)
by the Clone High
snorkeling team.
-(CROWD BOOING)
-(BUZZER BLARES)
It’s the biggest loss
of the season,
but the team has still launched
into their famous
post-game celebration.
(CHANTING) We tried!
-Yeah, yeah, we tried!
-What’d we do?
(CHANTING) Yeah, we tried!
Yeah, yeah, we tri--
Ah! I missed.
(CHANTING) But you tried!
Yeah, yeah, you tried.
(MARCHING BAND RENDITION
OF "CLONE HIGH THEME SONG"
PLAYING) ♪
(SONG CONCLUDES) ♪
(MELANCHOLIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(GULPS)
-(GLASS SHATTERING)
Hmm?
Wistful sigh.
How did I fall so far, Mr. B?
I was the face of the biggest
snorkeling company in the world.
Now, I’m trapped
in this godforsaken town,
coaching nothing but losers!
Maybe it’s time to stop thinking
about snorkeling so much?
You know, you’re also
-a pretty successful sci--
-SCUDWORTH: Balderdash!
I need a protégé.
Someone I can take to the top.
Someone who can help me
recapture the glory I felt
before I ruined everything!
(SCREAMS IN PAIN)
(SQUEALS)
Hey, P. Scud.
Ooh, you’ve got a bunch of glass
stuck in you.
Sixteen pieces in your left leg,
18 in the right leg,
nine in your right arm,
six in your left arm,
and 14 in your face.
(INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC
PLAYING) ♪
Frida Kahlo, you just pointed
and counted all that
with the effortless skill
of a snorkeling champion.
A snorkeling what now?
How do you feel about the smell
and taste of chlorine?
Love it, obviously.
You have to join
my snorkeling team.
-You have such a natural talent.
-Eh.
I’m more into right-brained,
left-wing shiz, like, painting!
I’m submitting a piece
to the Exclamation
Fine Arts Festival,
and the first prize
is a full ride
to the Exclamation Art College.
Oh, Frida, the dream
is to get out of this podunk,
backwards, one-horse,
dead-end shithole.
Every one of these losers
would give their middle nut
to get outta here.
-Please take my middle nut!
-Take me!
I mean, it’s a good art school.
Plus, Cleo’s here.
She’s pretty much my muse.
(EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(MUSIC INTENSIFIES, FADES) ♪
Here you go, boo.
This one’s finished.
Oh, cool!
Our heads on a platter.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
-'Cause we a feast, babe!
-So, good. (CHUCKLES)
Listen, Frida,
snorkeling can make you rich!
So, instead of giving
Cleo paintings,
you can buy her things
she’ll actually enjoy,
like catamarans
and Gila monsters.
Every girl wants a Gila monster
these days.
(GRUNTS, BREATHES DEEPLY)
Safe and sound.
Yeah. You really think
I could make it big
as a swimmer with a pipe?
It’s called snorkeling, and yes,
you could. With me by your side.
Okay. Let me submit this
to the festival,
then I’ll give it a try.
Later, Principal Scudworth!
Frida. Call me
Coach Scuddy Buddy.
(CHUCKLES) Nah. Bye!
-(BAND MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-Steady! A little higher!
You got it, Marie?
(GRUNTS, GROANS)
You’re the base,
Marie Antoinette.
The most important position
on the mat!
So, we need you
to hold it together.
(GROANS) I am try
(GRUNTS)
-(BONES POPPING)
-(SCREAMS)
(CHEERLEADERS SCREAM)
(GASPS) Her head
is completely off!
Get the school nurse over here.
I think she needs a Tylenol.
On the plus side,
at least she lost a few pounds.
We need a new base
for the reverse
pyramid stunt, stat!
No one else is strong enough,
Harriet!
Well, we need to find someone!
The reverse pyramid
is the whole reason
I’m getting scouted
by Big City College University.
They’ve got the best
film program in the country,
and a cheer scholarship
is my only way in.
-Good luck!
-(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Looks like Harriet’s in trouble
without Marie Antoinette.
When popular kids suffer,
Bleacher Creatures rejoice!
-BLEACHER CREATURES: Huzzah!
-Yes.
-(QUIETLY) Uh, huzzah.
-Oh! Evil idea alert.
Let’s sabotage the cheerleaders
from the inside.
-You mean wear their skins?
-No, Ivan the Terrible.
Joan can join the squad
and take 'em down from within.
And trigger
another Cheermageddon!
What’s Cheermageddon?
-(DOO WOP MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-Some years ago Gertrude Stein
had a cheer scholarship
to Oxford
until she went
to hold up the Y in "Yell"
and it was upside down.
(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(CROWD GASPS)
TOPHER BUS: The cheerleaders
appeared to be saying,
“Hell together.”
-Huh? (GRUNTS)
-TOPHER:
Everyone was so confused
-that the sports team lost
the sports game.
-Hot dogs!
(BOTH SCREAMS)
(CROWD SCREAMS)
TOPHER: As the holder
of the inverted Y,
Gertrude ended up losing
her full-ride cheerleading
scholarship to Oxford
-to cheer for the queen.
-(CROWD BOOING)
Okay, wait, I don’t really
wanna ruin Harriet’s life.
She was my best friend.
Until she kicked you
to the curb.
The same curb to which
we’ve all been kicked.
Bleacher Creatures don’t get
offered scholarships
to fancy schools.
You think any of us are ever
gonna get outta this town?
We can’t even get out
of these bleachers.
But I don’t know
if I wanna hurt her
just because she’s upset.
HARRIET TUBMAN:
Don’t Joan this up, squad!
-Yes, that's right.
-Huh?
Joan’s a verb now.
It means "screwing everything up
for everyone else."
Oh my God! It's already
in the Urban Dictionary.
All right, I’ll take her down.
(SINISTER LAUGHTER)
-(CHEWS NERVOUSLY)
-(CROWD CHEERING)
(SCUDWORTH GULPING)
Hey, P. Scud.
Any words of wisdom
-for my first match?
-(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
All right, rookie.
I'm going to give you
the same advice
the great Schneider Snorkelle
once gave me.
Go out there and point at fish.
Got it.
-(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(BLOWS WHISTLES)
-(CROWD CHEERING)
-(SCREAMS)
-(WATER SPLASHING)
-(DING)
(DING)
(CONTINUOUS DINGING)
(DING)
Yes!
(DOLPHIN SQUEAKING)
(SCOREBOARD DINGING)
-(CROWD CHEERING)
-(CONTINUOUS DINGING)
(CROWD CHEERING)
(DINGING)
(TIMER CLICKS)
(DING)
-(SCOREBOARD DINGS)
-(BUZZER BLARES)
(CROWD CHEERS)
I never thought I’d say this,
but Clone High wins
the snorkeling match!
(SHOUTING) Goal-d-fish!
We actually won.
-You did it, Frida!
-Thanks, Coach.
(CHANTING) We tried!
Yeah, yeah we tried!
No, you morons, you won!
It doesn’t mean
we didn’t try, Coach!
(CHANTING) We tried!
Yeah, yeah, we tried!
And were successful!
(MARCHING BAND MUSIC
PLAYING) ♪
(CHEWS)
Okay, Genghis,
your job is just to stand here
and hold everyone up.
Do you think you can do that?
Yes!
-Okay, squad, reverse pyramid!
-(MARIE ANTOINETTE SCREAMS)
That’s it, Genghis!
Pyramid, let’s see
those arms up straight!
-(CHEERLEADERS SCREAM)
-No, not you, Genghis!
(CHEERLEADERS GASP)
Whoa! Got it!
-Whoa.
-Joan?
What is she doing here?
Whoa! She just caught
all five of them.
-Uh, actually there were nine.
-(CHEERLEADER SCREAMS, GROANS)
What’s all this about?
You said you think
cheerleading is for stupid
-shouting whores.
-(MARIE SCREAMS)
Ah, used to.
But now, I think
it’s for smart shouting whores.
-(CHEERLEADER SCREAMS)
-(THUD)
As much as it pains me
after you betrayed me,
I need you on my squad.
But you’re not in my squad.
Got it, Betray Zellweger?
Got it.
(CHEERLEADERS SCREAM, GROAN)
For Frid’s a jolly
Good Kahlo! ♪
For Frid’s a jolly
Good Kahlo! ♪
-(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
-Excuse me.
-Uh, is this where I can find
-(GASPS)
Frida Kahlo?
-(CHEERLEADER SCREAMS)
-Oh, my God!
-(BOTTLE SHATTERING)
-Schneider Snorkelle!
-Scudworth, is that you?
-Yes, sir.
My God, you look like shit.
But hell,
I thought you were dead,
so I-- I guess congratulations.
Frida, this is the most
influential man
in the world of snorkeling.
Listen to every word
he has to say.
I wish I did
when I had the chance.
(CLEARS THROAT) I like
what I saw out there today, kid.
I wanna make you part
of the Schneider
Snorkeling family.
How does 5,000 schmackers sound
as a signing bonus?
-Whoa!
-That’s a lot of money
-for most people, not me.
-(WHISTLES)
And you. I like
the redemption angle here.
If you can get this team to make
the National
Snorkeling Invitational,
I’ll give you a spot
on our coaching staff
-at the new facility.
-(UPLIFTING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
The Schnorkelplex.
Big City, USA.
Just don’t Joan it up this time.
I won’t let you down again,
Mister Snorkelle!
-All right, then.
-(SCREAMS)
-I’m off to look at more kids
-(GROANS)
-in swimsuits.
-(JFK GROANING)
Uh, for scouting purposes,
of course.
-(TOWEL WHIPPING)
-(JFK SCREAMING)
-(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-Okay, squad!
Now, that our snorkeling team
is good,
we’ve got a better shot
at making it
out of this disgusting town.
We need to play
to our big strength, spelling.
No, Betsy Ross! No!
That’s wrong.
Listen, squad.
We have to get this right.
We can’t have
another Cheermageddon!
So, Cheermageddon’s
pretty bad, huh?
It’s only, like,
my biggest fear in the world
other than jack-in-the-boxes.
The toy and the restaurant.
Everyone expects me
to get recruited
by Big City College University
and if I don’t get in
Hey, why am I telling you
any of this?
We’re not friends anymore.
(SCOFFS)
I know, we’re just cheerleaders
on the same team.
Exactly. You know,
this isn’t easy for me to say,
obviously,
but, um, you were okay
out there today. (SIGHS)
-I was?
-Let’s just say you weren’t
a total flaming garbage dump
and leave it at that.
-Professional compliment over!
-(GASPS)
TOPHER: Psst! Nice work.
Making them think
you’re actually enjoying
doing those dumb cheers
with those stupid idiots.
Yeah. It really seemed like
I was having fun hanging out
with my old pal, right?
TOPHER: Now,
that Harriet trusts you,
we can put our super complicated
plan in place.
IVAN THE TERRIBLE:
When they spell out
“Clone High,”
you’ll switch out the letters
so it spells out, “Bone High.”
TOPHER: (CHUCKLES)
Isn’t that so funny?
"Bone" instead of "clone."
It’s like, wha (CHUCKLES)
It’s gonna be
a full on Cheermageddon!
-(BLEACHER CREATURES LAUGH)
-Yeah. (FAKE LAUGHS) Right.
-(CROWD CHEERS)
-SACAGAWEA: Well, snorkel fans,
Clone High’s
hot streak continues.
If they keep this up, we could
be heading for Big City, USA.
Throw me an energy bar, Coach.
Not a chance in hell.
We’ve got another match
in 15 minutes.
Eating now could end
your entire snorkeling career.
-Why do you say that?
-Don’t you get it?
-(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-Cramps!
Yikes.
If we’re going to make
nationals,
you still got a lot to learn.
And I’ve got a lot to teach.
(CHOMPS)
Oh, God. Yuck. Goddamn it.
(GAGS) I did you a favor.
-(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(FRIDA PANTS, GRUNTS)
(GUNSHOT)
(GUNSHOT)
(BLOWS)
(LAUGHS)
(KISSES)
(LAUGHS) Whoo!
-(GRUNTS)
-Yes!
Yes!
(SURFER ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
GROUP: (CHANTING) Frida! Frida!
Frida! Frida! Frida!
Free pinto bean budinos
for the winners.
GROUP: Whoo!
Listen up.
If we win next Friday,
we’ll earn a spot
in the National Snorkeling
Invitational in Big City, USA,
and I can finally leave
this town for good.
Frida, keep up the good work.
The rest of you,
don’t Joan this out.
-Uh, it’s “Joan this up.”
-Never correct me! (GRUMBLES)
Wait, I thought you were going
to that art expo next Friday?
You know, I never heard back
about the stuff I submitted.
But it doesn’t matter.
I need that snorkeling money
so I can buy you pricy things.
Which reminds me,
how do you like this
dining room set by Broyhill?
-(APPLAUSE)
-(CROWD GASPING)
Oh, my God, yes! Give it to me.
(CHUCKLES) A lot better
than those worthless paintings
I used to give you, huh?
I mean, I wanna say no,
but, like, I physically can’t.
(LAUGHS)
You know what I’m saying?
(CHUCKLES) Yeah.
(SIGHS) Listen, Frida.
You need to do
what makes you happy.
-That’s sweet, babe.
-Well, I mean it.
And if spoiling me rotten
makes you happy,
I’m just gonna have
to respect that.
It does make me happy.
And to be honest,
I don’t think about painting
at all anymore.
(SOFT GUITAR
DRAMATIC FLOURISH) ♪
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
I can’t believe it,
but we’re one win away
from the National Invitational.
We’re gonna have
to be absolutely flawless today.
Right.
-Thanks, Gertrude.
-(GRUMBLES)
Wait, Gertrude Stein?
Yeah. After Cheermageddon,
she just lost it.
We let her help out around here.
Keeps her off the streets.
But the fact that it takes
only one mistake
to end up that way,
it’s terrifying, you know?
-(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-Yeah.
I’ve never said that out loud
to anyone before.
But I gotta admit,
talking about it with you, uh,
actually makes me
feel less afraid.
(CLICKS TONGUE)
Aw, well that’s nice.
And I can’t believe
I’m saying this,
but I might actually be
in the process of forgiving you.
Maybe a person
can get over a betrayal.
They can?
But could they get over
two betrayals?
You know, hypothetically?
No way, girl! One betrayal max.
But luckily,
that’s all we’re dealing with.
Welp, off to stretch
before the big match.
(CHUCKLES) Two betrayals.
Good one, Joan!
-(JOAN OF ARC GROANS SOFTLY)
-(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-Girl’s locker room, Topher.
-TOPHER: Right, right, sorry.
-(UPLIFTING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(BIRDS CHIRPING)
Today’s the day, Cinnamon.
Redemption is in the air.
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
-Ah, undoubtedly a well-wisher.
-(GLASS SHATTERING)
Clone High High School,
Principal Cinnamon
J. Scudworth speaking.
What? (CHUCKLES)
Oh, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.
No. No, no, no.
A thousand times no.
She’s on her way to the National
Snorkeling Invitational.
She doesn’t want any part
of your art expo.
This is a classic
“talk to the hand” situation.
Unsubscribe.
-FRIDA: Hey, Scudworth.
-(SCREAMS)
Did you ever hear
from that art expo I entered?
They were supposed to call here
because it’s weird for grown-ups
to call high school kids.
It is weird for grown-ups
to call high school kids.
(HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) I never
heard a thing from that contest!
-(TELEPHONE RINGING)
-(RECEIVER CLATTERING)
Oh, okay. Just wanted to check.
I-- I guess snorkeling
really is my only option.
Now, you’re talking!
See you out there, superstar!
-(WHEELS SQUEAKING)
-(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Don’t look at me like that.
Turn around.
I can still see your eyes!
Keep turning!
Oh, you are just like my mother!
(CROWD CHEERING)
CHEERLEADERS:
Sports! Sports! Sports! Sports!
Sports! Sports! Sports! Sports!
There you are!
What took you so long?
I was kinda nervous,
so I went and painted some stuff
to calm me down.
This is the last painting
I’ll ever do
since I’m obviously
very bad at it.
-That you are!
-(PAINTING CLATTERING)
Now get changed.
It’s winning time.
Hey, Scudworth, just want
to say good luck tonight.
Hope we don't
"cramp" your style.
(GROUP LAUGHS)
-'Cause you got a cramp.
-I know that, Abe!
-(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(TOILET RATTLING)
(GRUNTS) Here you go!
Are you sure we wanna do this?
Don’t you get it?
Harriet’s not your friend, Joan.
She’s just strong-arming you
into using your strong arms.
You think she’s gonna be
your friend
when the season is over?
She ain’t.
But you know who is?
We, the Bleacher Creatures.
-The outcasts of society!
-The pariahs of the school!
Also, can you Venmo me your dues
for this month?
Bleacher Creatures forever!
-(CROWD CHEERING)
-Folks, it’s the moment
we’ve all been waiting for.
-(CROWD CHEERS)
-(INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Snorkelers, secure your goggles!
(AIR HORN BLARES)
Go, Frida! Point!
Go, babe!
Mama needs a cashmere pashmina!
Look over there! Look! Point!
Look! Point!
See. The. Fish.
Point at that one!
Point with your whole body!
Use the snorkel!
Circle breathing,
circle breathing!
Don't miss the grouper!
-There's another one!
-Hey, I think this is yours.
No, I don’t want it.
Get outta the way. I’m coaching.
Excuse me, Frida gave this
to you as a gift.
And it clearly meant a lot
to her
if she went to the trouble
of painting it for you,
and you’re gonna take it!
Ugh! Fine,
I’ll take the stupid--
-(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(GASPS) But this isn’t stupid.
It’s exquisite.
What have I done?
(CONTINUOUS DINGING)
(INSPIRING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(CROWD GASPING)
-(COUGHS, GROANS)
Frida, are you okay?
What’s going on?
She got accepted
to the art expo.
That’s where she belongs.
No way. Congrats, babe!
But the contest is starting now!
I’ll never make it in time!
Oh, yes, you will.
This may be a one-horse town,
but sometimes (WHISTLES)
-(HORSE NEIGHS)
-(CROWD GASPING)
one horse is all you need.
Scudworth!
Get Frida back in that pool,
or I will personally guarantee
that you never get
outta this town!
This isn’t about me.
It’s about Frida.
And Frida is an artist.
So, with all due respect,
Schneider Snorkelle
-you can schuck it!
-Yeah, schuck off!
-All right!
-Let’s go, babe!
-Hi-ya!
-(HORSE NEIGHS)
-(CROWD CHEERING)
-(INSPIRING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
BYSTANDER: (SCREAMING)
Watch out for that horse!
(CAR CRASHING)
-(SOLDIER SCREAMING)
-(HELICOPTER THRUMMING)
-(SOLDIER SCREAMING)
-(EXPLOSIONS)
-(FIRE TRUCK BLARING)
-(DOLPHIN SQUEAKING)
Ooh. I hope everyone’s okay.
Hey, since Cleo left
and she’s the top
of the pyramid,
we should probably
just call it, huh?
No way! A scout from Big City
College University is here!
We’ll have to make some
adjustments.
I’ll move to top left
and have Abigail shift
to Cleo’s spot.
Uh, wait,
so you’ll be holding
The all-important first letter.
But as long as you’re the base,
I know we can do it.
-(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(BLEACHER CREATURES LAUGH)
(CROWD CHEERS)
(CHANTING) Let’s hear you
scream for our snorkel team!
(CHEERLEADERS CHEERING)
-(GRUNTS)
-(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
GERTRUDE STEIN: I used
to be somebody.
Gertrude Stein?
No! I spelled a dirty word.
Now, I’m Dirty Gerty!
(CACKLES, SCREECHES)
I made a nest out of pom-poms!
(CACKLES)
Harriet! Don’t!
You can’t put up that letter!
What? Why?
If you don’t want
to end up like Dirty Gerty,
you gotta trust me.
Ready, team? Three, two, one!
(CROWD CHEERING)
-One high!
-As in, we’re all one!
No matter what our differences,
-we’re still One High!
-(LAUGHS) Ah!
(SIGHS)
TOPHER: “One High”?
What happened to “Bone High”?
One High is like implying
all of us are high
on marijuana pot!
That’s a sick burn.
Violence was chosen today.
Hurrah! One High!
-What just happened?
-(GRUNTS)
Who did this?
-Harriet, I’m a jerk.
-(UPLIFTING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
I was mad at you,
so I was going to betray you
Again. But I couldn’t go
through with it
and not just because I have
terrible follow through.
I understand if you go
right back to hating me again.
Wait! The important thing is,
you told me.
And to be honest,
I really do wanna be
friends again.
-(GASPS) Really?
-(SHUSHES) In secret.
You’re still a social outcast,
remember?
I would be honored
to be your friend
that you’re too embarrassed
to admit you’re friends with
to your other friends.
Well, I guess,
I’ll see you around
(WHISPERING) friend.
(CHANTING) We tried!
Yeah, yeah, we tried!
ABE LINCOLN: What’d we do?
(CHANTING) Yeah, we tried!
Yeah, yeah, we tried!
So hard.
Why don’t you go hit
the showers, fellas?
(JFK HUMMING)
-(TOWEL WHIPPING)
-(JFK YELPS)
(SIGHS) Looks like
it didn’t go our way.
It was a blood bath.
But what about you?
How was the art expo?
They gave me this.
I wanted to turn it down
'cause giving awards
for art is kinda stupid.
But I thought it would look good
on a special someone.
Me? What?
I know that wasn’t easy,
what you did for me today.
But I really appreciate it,
Coach Scuddy Buddy.
She said the nickname
I assigned myself.
(UPLIFTING MUSIC
INTENSIFIES) ♪
(MUSIC FADES) ♪
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(SONG CONCLUDES) ♪