Close Enough (2020) s02e02 Episode Script

♪♪
[ Yelling in slow-motion ]
Candice: This wasn't how it was
supposed to go.
I just wanted to
make a little cash,
have a little fun.
But sometimes,
even the best plans
can leave a skid-mark
in your shorts.
To understand
how we got here,
you've gotta know the legend.
The legend
of Sauceface.
♪♪
♪♪
[ School bell rings ]
[ Both laughing ]
Whoa!
Imagine all the fun
we could have with one of those.
Those drones make hopscotch
look like foursquare.
Mom!
Mom!
Can I get a drone?
Please, please!
I'd fly it every day
and I'd wash it and I'd feed it!
And it would get us involved
in stem fields
where girls are traditionally
underrepresented.
[ Sighs ]
I wish we could,
sweetie,
but we don't have the money
for stuff like that.
Yeah, right, Mom.
Then why do we live in a mansion
with Alex and Bridgette?
Oh, jeez.
Candice, the "house" we live in
is an apartment building.
And Alex and Bridgette only live
with us to help us pay for it.
But you have a job,
and Dad has a job.
Doesn't that
make us rich?
No.
Wait, so we're
poor?
Man, I had no idea
we were poor.
Do your mom and dad
have money?
No, my dad
does improv.
[ Inhales sharply ]
Ooh, I'm so sorry.
Let's face it,
drones are for rich kids.
Attencion,
everyone.
It's your friendly cafeteria
conduct liaison.
Effective immediately
our school's banned food list
will now include
General Tso's chicken,
because it promotes
militarism.
♪♪
And please, don't push me
on this.
Stellan and I just broke up
and he took the Peloton
because he technically
paid for it,
even though I use it way
more than he does.
So, it's a whole thing.
Okay, buon appetito!
Oh, stop, stop,
stop, stop!
Don't let Campbell
see that.
All the food at this school
is so bland.
I'll give you a quarter
for your hot sauce.
Hmm, one quarter?
I'll give you
two dimes.
Whoa!
Now we're talking!
Maddie, I think I know
how we can buy a drone.
[ The Rolling Stones' "Can't You
Hear Me Knocking" plays ]
Candice: And that's how we got
into the hot sauce game.
I'd harvest the product
at home
and we'd move it at school.
♪♪
♪♪
Yeah, you got
satin shoes ♪
Candice:
It was red gold, baby.
Red gold.
Maddie had a head for numbers,
so she ran the books.
plastic boots ♪
Y'all got cocaine eyes ♪
Whoo!
I got lightning in my brain!
Candice: Pretty soon, we had
other kids dealing for us.
First graders, second graders,
a fourth grader we called
Jimmy Two-Times
'cause once he peed himself
two times in the same day.
The way we were going, we had
enough for a fleet of drones.
Business was so good,
it was only a matter of time
'til the cafeteria
conduct liaison got wise.
Help me, baby ♪
Picante!
Candice: We needed to throw
Campbell off our trail.
Who do you work for?
[ Packets splat ]
Ain't no stranger ♪
So, I came up with an alter ego
to take the heat.
A big boss named Sauceface.
[ Whistles ]
Can't you hear my knockin'? ♪
Candice:
Tomorrow is the big sit-down
with our sister schools.
If all goes well, we expand our
operations all over the city.
I don't like it.
Campbell is closing in.
We need to lie low.
Please.
Mr. Campbell
couldn't find a butt
on his own butt.
Candice, we have
plenty of money
and we haven't even
bought our drone yet.
Isn't that why we started
this in the first place?
We move forward
with the sit-down.
There are more dimes
to be made.
Speaking of, this last payment
was supposed to have 873 dimes,
which is exactly
$5,000.
But we're
four dimes short.
Which one of you
is skimming off the top?
You don't want to
confess to me?
Okay. Perhaps
you'd rather tell
Wet Willy?
♪♪
Why, Jade,
that's a very nice
Ring Pop you're wearing.
It -- It was a gift
from my Nan-Nan.
Right.
Nan-Nans are the best.
Yeah.
Yeah, my Nan-Nan's
Gotcha.
My Nan-Nan loves me so much.
[ Screams ]
Hey, cut it out!
Never cross me again,
Jade.
Aah!
[ Sobbing ]
Jeez, Candice.
I'm not Candice
anymore.
I'm
Sauceface.
Ah, that's our time.
Remember, tomorrow
is Cher Day,
so bring in a small item
that makes you believe
in life after love.
Ethan, please stay behind
for uno minuto.
Ooh!
Ooh!
Ooh!
Relax, Ethan,
you're not in trouble.
I just wanted to offer you
a little after-school snack.
Oh
Mmm
Red pepper, salt, garlic,
Xanthan gum.
You want it,
don't you, Ethan?
[ Breathing heavily ]
First, tell me
everything you know.
Okay.
When mommies and daddies
love each other,
they touch their butts together
and a baby --
No, Ethan.
Everything about Sauceface.
Like where I can find him
or her or them.
I guess I did hear somebody say
a thingy was gonna go down
tomorrow in that room
where I eat all the paint.
[ Gasps ]
The art room!
Gracias, Ethan.
You all know me,
what I do.
And you know what I can
do for you.
[ Snaps fingers ]
I think we could be very
motivated to move this product
at Temple Beth Emet
Day School.
Yeah, samesies
for Mayflower Charter.
Excellent.
Then let's shake on it.
Mr. Campbell:
Sauceface!
I know
you're in there!
And as soon as I figure out
which key opens this door,
I'm coming in!
You set us up!
No!
Someone ratted us out!
Why did I announce I was here
before I found the key?
So stupid!
♪♪
♪♪
Candice!
[ Grunts ]
Ah!
Candice, you need
to run!
But --
Now!
♪♪
Well, well, well
If it isn't Sauceface.
[ Gasps ]
No!
This is it for me.
Campbell called in
my parents.
I'm gonna be expelled.
But why didn't you tell him
you're not Sauceface?
And be a rat?
Maddie, I'm so sorry!
I want to fix this, to go back
to how things were before.
We knew the risks
of this life.
Forget about me,
Candice.
Take the money, buy the drone,
make a new best friend.
Mr. Campbell:
Stellan, you agreed
I could visit the Peloton
on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
My calves are
withering away!
♪♪
Thus proving she's guilty
of possession
of banned goods,
illegal sales,
and naming herself
after an R-rated movie.
These are mostly
serious charges.
Maddie,
I'm stunned.
I don't want to recommend
expulsion.
But I'm afraid it's the only way
to close the book
on this dark chapter of--
what the butt?
No!
If you're --
then who is--
Mr. Campbell,
it would seem
that you busted
the wrong Sauceface.
Ah! I can't believe I missed
my Harold audition for this!
Ted, it's been
three years.
You're not getting
on a house team.
Sauceface!
[ Children laughing ]
Hey!
♪♪
♪♪
Ha!
You're cornered, Sauceface!
Surprise!
What?
I don't understand.
You're Sauceface?
You mean
"Project Sauceface"?
That was our code name.
Maddie and I sold sauce so
we could buy you a new Peloton.
We know how hard it's been
with Stellan gone.
And, well, you're
our favorite teacher.
That's right.
We had to keep it
a surprise.
It was our plan
all along.
[ Voice breaking ]
This is the nicest thing
anyone's ever done for me.
Did we break the rules?
Yes.
But it was the only way
we could earn money,
and sometimes
you have to break some rules
to mend
a broken heart.
Mm
Wait a second! Five
minutes ago, you were
gonna expel my daughter!
That was before
the children gave me,
like, a $2,000
exercise bike.
So, you were able to
buy this thing
just from selling
hot sauce packets?
Yeah, kids really
love hot sauce.
In that case,
the ban is lifted.
The school is selling
those packets now.
We need that money for
Coach Gary's settlement.
Candice: And just like that,
Sauceface was no more.
In the end I gave up my wealth,
my business, my spicy empire
for friendship.
The richest score of them all.
[ Barking ]
[ Both laugh ]
Oh, we gots to get
one of those.
Have you ever heard of
shoplifting?
[ Laughing ]
[ Cellphone ringing,
buzzing ]
[ Gasps ]
Hey, chica!
You must be my roomie!
I'm Becca.
What's your deal?
Where you from?
Hey, I'm Emil--
[ Cellphone rings ]
Ugh, sorry, my ex Tucker
won't stop calling.
He broke up with me
because he wanted to --
Screw my professor.
I mean, how dare she give me a C
just 'cause I fell asleep
during the final?
I should just change
my major to --
doing cocaine
in the bathroom,
and I'm like,
"Really, mason?
You're railing lines
on Christmas Eve?"
And he's like --
"Uh, those nudes
aren't mine,"
and he accused me
of snooping?
I mean, yes I --
stole his identity,
but Travor gave me chlamydia
first, so, guess what, I --
know that he had sex
with my sister
and expects me
to forgive him?
I mean you're so lucky
you've never had to go
through pain like this.
Anyways, what's up
with you, gal?
[ Breathing heavily ]
[ Screams ]
[ Cellphone ringing,
buzzing ]
[ Sighs ]
Heyyyyyy,
chica.
♪♪
♪♪
Becca sucks.
You hate seeing her.
Why don't you just cancel?
I can't.
She's my oldest friend.
You're too nice.
Firm boundaries are the only way
to make people respect you.
Hey Bridg--
No.
See?
You're right.
I'm going to cancel.
[ Cellphone keyboard
clacking ]
[ Text messages
chiming rapidly ]
We're meeting at 7:00.
On her side of town.
She's short on cash,
so I'm buying.
[ Sighs ]
Heeeey, bestie!
Ohmigod, I'm sorry
I'm late,
I forgot you wanted
to meet tonight.
But you called me.
Ugh, the new guy
I'm dating?
Okay he's, like, crazy hot
but such a dick.
He, like, expects me
to worship him,
and I'm like, I --
Fair's fair. No!
You know what?
All men are trash.
So, I said to Luc,
it's, like, when will someone
pay attention to me?
Like, when is it
my turn?
Okay, look,
sometimes relationships
become toxic and one-sided,
and then you need
to set boundaries.
Stand up for yourself.
Say, "Enough is enough,
Becca."
Or Rick.
Orwhat's his name?
Wow.
It's Luc.
You should
listen better.
But
that's actually great advice.
Thank you.
Oh.
Um
You're welcome.
Okay, so,
enough about me.
What's up
with you, girl?
Dating anybody?
I'm
married.
You came to my wedding.
I don't think
that's true.
Ugh.
Ugh.
So?
How'd it go
with your BFF?
Pretty well, actually.
She let me
talk a little.
I got some face time
out of the way,
and now I won't have to see her
for another couple years.
[ Doorbell rings ]
Becca?
What are you doing here?
I did it.
I set boundaries
and I broke up with Luc.
[ Sobbing ]
Why is my life so hard
all the time?
Could I crash
with you?
Just for the night?
Umm
I wouldn't ask, except you're
my best friend
and you're responsible
for me
not having anywhere
to sleep tonight.
But I can be homeless,
if that's what you want
No, no,
o-of course you can stay.
Thank you so much.
Emily, can you grab
my stuff?
Becca, you have been in there
for three hours!
I need to shower!
Thank you so much.
I would love an iced coffee.
Becca, you've been binging
old seasons
of "Survivor"
for three days.
Could I watch
something?
Ooh, an iced coffee
sounds yum. Theeenks.
H-Hang on.
Where did all my stuff go?
An iced coffee with minimal ice
would be perf. Theeenk you.
Okay,
she's got to go.
She used all my lotions
and serums,
and now my skin
is barely glowing.
I like her.
She plays
pretend with me.
Becca:
Tiny Butler!
[ Bell rings ]
Right away, ma'am!
I know she's your friend,
but she's taking advantage
of your kindness.
Okay, fine,
I'll tell her to leave.
[ Sighs ]
Hey, gal, can we talk
about something?
That'll be all,
Tiny Butler.
We have fun.
Listen, Becca --
Shut up for a second!
I'm pregnant!
What?
I had breakup sex
with Luc,
and now I'm gonna
have his baby,
and I don't want to
tell him!
I have no money,
but I'm just so thankful
that I have you.
Anyways, what did you want
to talk to me about?
Becca: Ouch!
[ Gasps ]
Becca?
You kicked me out,
so now I live in the trash.
I needed to set
boundaries!
Oh, who would do this
to their best friend?
You're a monster,
Mommy!
Monster!
[ Gasps ]
[ Police sirens wail,
guns cock ]
Looks like we got
a monster here.
Better call in
animal control.
[ Gasps ]
All: Monster!
Monster!
Nothing! I had absolutely
nothing to tell you.
Good, 'cause I really need
today to be about me, y'know?
It's just
a minor delay.
I'll help her find an apartment,
and she'll be out
before she's
too far along.
[ Yawns ]
Good morning.
Whoa.
Becca.
You got
very pregnant.
Overnight.
I know.
He's growing so fast.
Ooh, he's kicking!
Here, feel!
[ Growls ]
Whoa!
What the f--
I have some follow-up questions
about the birds and the bees.
Me, too.
Let's get out of here.
Ooh, Jersh, while you're out,
I'm having some major cravings.
Can you pick me up
some locusts and goat ears
and, like, mm, some of
the blood of the innocent?
Sure thing.
Theeenks.
Oh, and an iced coffee!
Thenks.
This is nuts!
I know.
I think I can get most of that
stuff at the pet store,
but the blood of the innocent
might be more of Costco thing.
[ Doorbell rings ]
Becca:
[ Gasps ] That's for me!
Guys,
this is Hecate.
Hecate, this is Emily
and Jersh and
the rest.
Hecate's a friend
of Luc's.
She offered to be my doula
for the home birth.
D-Did you say
home birth?
All my work has been
building to this moment.
Cum venerit, et regnabis
stridebo terroremque timuerunt.
[ Chuckles ] What's your
friend's deal? She single?
Oh, God.
Oh.
Effing morning sickness.
At least I made it
to the trash can.
Like a lady.
That's my purse.
Hecate:
[ Speaking Latin ]
Em, you need to
kick her out.
[ Grunts ]
You're right.
That bitch has
got to go.
[ Gasps ]
Her cellphone.
What are you doing?
"Hey, Luc.
I miss you, I was wrong, you're
so hot, let's get back together.
XO Becca."
If they're together,
she'll move back to his place!
[ Text message chimes ]
He says
he'll be right over!
[ Thunder crashes ]
Oh, my God.
That's probably unrelated,
right?
[ Screaming ]
He approaches.
Oh, yeahhhh!
Luc in the house.
Yo, Becca, get up,
I'm hungry.
What the eff
are you doing here?
Whoa, unh-uh,
you summoned me.
You think I want
to be here?
I'm supposed to be DJ-ing the
Samsung pop-up at the galleria.
Unh, get it,
get it, yeah.
Wait, wait,
wait, wait.
"Luc"
as in "Lucifer"?
Her boyfriend
is the devil?
Yeah, he sucks.
No, like, he's literally
the devil.
Yeah, this guy's
the worst.
I don't want to
talk to you!
Bex, why you being
such a binch?
Oh, snap,
you on the rag?
Nasty!
No, idiot,
I'm pregnant.
Whoa. Dope.
That's hilarious.
I love you
so freakin' much.
I love you
so freakin' much.
Yeah.
Get it, get it.
It's working.
She's gonna move back
in with him!
Everyone, I have
an announcement.
Luc and I are getting
back together.
[ Giggles ]
Yes!
And he's gonna
crash here, too.
What? No!
He can't.
Who's this chick?
She on the rag, too?
Oh, cycle sisters.
Hot.
OMG, Emily,
don't be so uptight.
He can sleep
in my room.
You don't have a room!
Shut up,
my water's breaking!
[ Gasping ]
Come on!
[ Cackling ]
[ Gasps ]
Omnis mundus
erit eius!
Here's some ice chips,
sweetie.
A few more pushes
Ohmigod,
I can't do it!
Where's Luc?
So, I spin at the Burbank Tender
Greens every other Tuesday.
You should
check it out.
Isn't your girlfriend having
your baby in the other room?
Heh.
We don't do labels.
I've got those towels,
Becca.
No, I want
the good towels!
God,
you're selfish.
Oh, I'm selfish?
Sophomore year, you made me
cut my hair
because "our lengths
were too matchy."
I'm the long-haired friend
and you know it!
[ Thunder crashes ]
You borrowed all my clothes
and never gave them back!
It's not my fault
everything looks hotter on me!
You don't care about me.
You take no interest
in my career,
my marriage,
my daughter.
What daughter?
Gahhh!
That's it!
I want you out of my house,
Becca.
And I want you
out of my life!
You're such a freakin'
beeehhhhhtch!
[ Baby crying ]
[ Roars ]
Oh, my God.
Ew! No!
Hell yeah.
That's my baby.
[ Clears throat ]
Well, I guess this is it.
Yeah, Luc and I are off
to the bowels of Hell.
But, before I go,
I need to say something.
I think we should hit pause
on our friendship.
Yeah, I already told you
that I --
No offense,
but you're kind of toxic,
and I can't have
negative energy around my baby.
[ Growls ]
I'm a mama now.
You wouldn't understand.
For the last time,
I have a child.
She's right here.
Ma'am.
Emily, that's
Tiny Butler.
Don't be weird.
[ Dubstep music playing ]
Uh, honk, honk!
Babe! Car! Let's go!
I can't wait!
Get in the car!
Get in the car!
That's my guy.
You'll find one
someday.
[ Inhales sharply ]
Go to hell, Becca.
I am.
You never li--
♪♪
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