Cow and Chicken (1997) s02e02 Episode Script
The Laughing Puddle
1
Uh-oh, guys! Heavy hitter!
Yep! Heavy is right!
Yeah!
Watch out for the home run ball, Chicken!
Do you really think
I could kick a homer, Earl?
Sure! In your dreams, Cow!
Shut up your pie holes! Please?
I felt a breeze with that swing, Cow!
All right.
The point is to actually hit the ball.
A touchdown!
- Hooray! Hooray!
- Gosh darn it, Cow!
You kicked the ball in the bushes!
Chicken Fairy Princess!
Cow, you can't just run around the bases!
I can't?
You gotta give us a chance
to find the ball and gets youse out.
I do?
Oh yeah, yeah!
You gotta run around the bases real slow.
All righty. Is this slow enough?
No, slower than that!
Like this?
Even slower!
Oh kay.
Perfect!
Hey, what is so funny?
Hey! What are you ladies starin'at?
Well, there's somethin'
you don't see every day.
Yeah. I wonder what they're laughin' at?
What do you mean, "they"?
It's a puddle.
A laughing puddle.
Hey, this is givin' me the creeps.
Let's get out of here.
I'm going for a two bagger, Chicken!
Oh, man! We forgot to get the ball!
Take it down a notch, Flash!
Moo okay!
Slow it down, Speedy!
Okay, Flem, you gotta go down in
that puddle and save Earl!
Now, Why do I got to go down?
'Cause you're fatter than me!
You'll sink easier!
Sometimes it just don't pay to be fat.
A triple!
I am going to be a triple, Big Brother!
Puddle! Laughing!
What is this, Cow? A race?
Puddle, laughing, Flem, Earl, Mom?
Dad?
A laughing puddle?
Well, what do you know, Momma?
Last one in cleans the pork butts.
Hooray! Home run!
Homey fairy princess!
Come on! Get in, fat cow!
It is up to you
to rescue Flem and Earl from this
this Laughin' Puddle!
No!
You are the meanest Big Brother to stop me
from getting my home run!
Home run?
This is a matter of life or death?
No, no, no, no!
Anybody? Hey?
Help! Help! Anyone?
Where is everybody?
Where are you's?
Where is everyone?
Oh, no! Not the children!
Curse you, you Laughing Puddle!
What evil world do you spring from?
Is this cartoon ever gonna make sense?
Well, I guess it's up to me
to get to the bottom of this.
Then he says, "Wrecked 'em?
Dang near killed 'em!"
Boneless Chicken?
Hey! I'd love to be a standup comedian,
only I can't stand up!
My ex-wife accused me
of being mean to her.
I said, "Hey!
I don't have a mean bone in my body!"
But he don't got no bones?
I consider it a good day
when I don't get mistaken
for a wash cloth.
No, really! That one wasn't a joke!
The cartoon you just saw is true.
The water in the Laughing Puddle
is what scientists call "Thick Water!"
Meaning that it has molecules the size
of "Watermelons!"
Too thick to run down the hole,
but thin enough for our characters
to pass through.
If you ever get a chance
to jump into Thick Water, "do it!"
It feels really gooey.
The nightclub Where Boneless Chicken
was performing was closed down shortly
after the making of this cartoon,
due to health code violations.
"Any questions", ladies?
No? Well, I didn't think so.
Tah-tah! That's the real end.
Want to play on the trampoline?
No!
Anyways,
we don't have no trampoline, idiot!
Yes, huh!
Wow, this is great, Cow!
Where'd you get it?
Hey, come back here
and fight like a man, Cow!
You don't need pants
for the victory dance ♪
'Cause Baboon
better than Weasel ♪
I.R. Baboon, big
star of cartoon ♪
I.M. Weasel.
I.R. Baboon reigns
king in his mind ♪
He's just as good as
the weaselly kind ♪
But round every corner,
he's likely to find ♪
I.M. Weasel.
I.M. Weasel!
I.M. Weasel!
There's no place like Nebraska, ♪
except for Oklahoma! ♪
Pop corn!
I.R. having bad idea
to carry dynamite in pocket.
I.R. embarrassed.
That one ain't mine.
Found him over at the cabbage patch.
But I've been raisin' him
as if it were my own.
I.R. always wanted to have childrens.
Well, that's mighty thoughty of you,
Baboon.
You'd make a good mama.
I got a nose for these things.
Lookie!
Yep! The nose always knows!
Good luck bein' a mama, Mr. Baboon.
Say goodbye to the mama Baboon, kids!
- Bye-bye, Mr. Mama Baboon!
- Bye-bye, Mr. Mama Baboon!
I.R. mommy.
Hey! What your name?
You not having a name?
I.R. name you after grandpa
of IR. Baboon!
Hello, Baby Grandpa!
Let's going home!
Dirty clothes basket is soft place
for sticking Baby Grandpa.
Baby Grandpa is hungry?
What is wrong with this picture?
That Baboon is a bad mother!
As a concerned citizen,
it is my duty to call this one in.
Operator?
"Get me I.M. Weasel!"
Hey! Head Nanny Weasel!
What do I do?
This Future Seventy-Third President
is startin' to draw flies!
I'll just change his diaper, Admiral Bullets.
Like it? Change mine!
Good idea!
Mr. Weasel?
Call for you
on the Emergency Nanny Phone.
Thanks, Loulabelle.
Head Nanny Weasel.
What?
A mother needs help
in the Nebraska Sand Hills?
Well, I'm just the man for the job.
For I.M. Weasel!
Nope. This just ain't natural.
I.R. finding food for Baby Grandpa.
Diet Beef Tip Ale, Corn Cob Gelatin Salad,
Sauerkraut Juice
I.R. contentment to be mommy.
Baby Grandpa all finished.
You drinking all milk!
How come you crying?
Ah, gee!
I.R. teaching you victory dance. ♪
I.R. teaching Baby Grandpa! ♪
Dancing with a baby?
Where is that Weasel?
Don't you worry, Mama. I'm your Nanny.
I'm here to help you.
I hear you've been dancing with your baby.
Is that true?
I.R. never hurt Baby Grandpa!
Who say I hurt Grandpa?
Why Weasel listen to
mean lady with no pants?
I.R. good mommy.
Time for to sleeping, Grandpa,
on soft dirty clothing.
Looks like we'll have to start from
the beginning with Mommy Lessons.
You need practice.
And you can start on me.
I'll be your training baby.
Baby needs a diaper change.
What are you going to do about it?
Hold Baby Grandpa out Window till he doo?
You put a clean diaper on the baby.
Grab a wash cloth.
Wipe.
Remember to go with the grain.
I.R. proud!
Perhaps Baby Grandpa needs a bath.
I.R. knowing how to bath!
Babies need fresh air.
Let's go for a stroll.
Draw, Old Woman!
Oh, twins!
Let us see them young-un's.
My baby had hair like that
when she was born,
and we shaved it!
Come on, Monkey Mama
shave that baby!
I am not a baby! I.M. Weasel.
The monster can think!
He's got the evil spirit!
Bad ladies scare Grandpa!
I.R. Baboon is a good mother after all.
Motherhood is sacred.
Powerful!
Beautiful!
Baboon and baby grandpa ♪
had a charming life together, ♪
with ups and downs and smiles ♪
and frowns that changed ♪
just like the weather. ♪
And grandpa grew into a man ♪
A big fat man ♪
But love, love, love, ♪
I.R. Mommy loves his Grandpa. ♪
Love, love, love, ♪
I.R. Mommy loves that Grandpa. ♪
Hey, care to dance?
I.R. sad 'cause Baby Grandpa
is all growed up.
Love is knowing when to let go. Let go.
Super Cow? What are you doing here?
I thought you'd never find me
hiding out in a Weasel cartoon!
Care to dance?
Uh-oh, guys! Heavy hitter!
Yep! Heavy is right!
Yeah!
Watch out for the home run ball, Chicken!
Do you really think
I could kick a homer, Earl?
Sure! In your dreams, Cow!
Shut up your pie holes! Please?
I felt a breeze with that swing, Cow!
All right.
The point is to actually hit the ball.
A touchdown!
- Hooray! Hooray!
- Gosh darn it, Cow!
You kicked the ball in the bushes!
Chicken Fairy Princess!
Cow, you can't just run around the bases!
I can't?
You gotta give us a chance
to find the ball and gets youse out.
I do?
Oh yeah, yeah!
You gotta run around the bases real slow.
All righty. Is this slow enough?
No, slower than that!
Like this?
Even slower!
Oh kay.
Perfect!
Hey, what is so funny?
Hey! What are you ladies starin'at?
Well, there's somethin'
you don't see every day.
Yeah. I wonder what they're laughin' at?
What do you mean, "they"?
It's a puddle.
A laughing puddle.
Hey, this is givin' me the creeps.
Let's get out of here.
I'm going for a two bagger, Chicken!
Oh, man! We forgot to get the ball!
Take it down a notch, Flash!
Moo okay!
Slow it down, Speedy!
Okay, Flem, you gotta go down in
that puddle and save Earl!
Now, Why do I got to go down?
'Cause you're fatter than me!
You'll sink easier!
Sometimes it just don't pay to be fat.
A triple!
I am going to be a triple, Big Brother!
Puddle! Laughing!
What is this, Cow? A race?
Puddle, laughing, Flem, Earl, Mom?
Dad?
A laughing puddle?
Well, what do you know, Momma?
Last one in cleans the pork butts.
Hooray! Home run!
Homey fairy princess!
Come on! Get in, fat cow!
It is up to you
to rescue Flem and Earl from this
this Laughin' Puddle!
No!
You are the meanest Big Brother to stop me
from getting my home run!
Home run?
This is a matter of life or death?
No, no, no, no!
Anybody? Hey?
Help! Help! Anyone?
Where is everybody?
Where are you's?
Where is everyone?
Oh, no! Not the children!
Curse you, you Laughing Puddle!
What evil world do you spring from?
Is this cartoon ever gonna make sense?
Well, I guess it's up to me
to get to the bottom of this.
Then he says, "Wrecked 'em?
Dang near killed 'em!"
Boneless Chicken?
Hey! I'd love to be a standup comedian,
only I can't stand up!
My ex-wife accused me
of being mean to her.
I said, "Hey!
I don't have a mean bone in my body!"
But he don't got no bones?
I consider it a good day
when I don't get mistaken
for a wash cloth.
No, really! That one wasn't a joke!
The cartoon you just saw is true.
The water in the Laughing Puddle
is what scientists call "Thick Water!"
Meaning that it has molecules the size
of "Watermelons!"
Too thick to run down the hole,
but thin enough for our characters
to pass through.
If you ever get a chance
to jump into Thick Water, "do it!"
It feels really gooey.
The nightclub Where Boneless Chicken
was performing was closed down shortly
after the making of this cartoon,
due to health code violations.
"Any questions", ladies?
No? Well, I didn't think so.
Tah-tah! That's the real end.
Want to play on the trampoline?
No!
Anyways,
we don't have no trampoline, idiot!
Yes, huh!
Wow, this is great, Cow!
Where'd you get it?
Hey, come back here
and fight like a man, Cow!
You don't need pants
for the victory dance ♪
'Cause Baboon
better than Weasel ♪
I.R. Baboon, big
star of cartoon ♪
I.M. Weasel.
I.R. Baboon reigns
king in his mind ♪
He's just as good as
the weaselly kind ♪
But round every corner,
he's likely to find ♪
I.M. Weasel.
I.M. Weasel!
I.M. Weasel!
There's no place like Nebraska, ♪
except for Oklahoma! ♪
Pop corn!
I.R. having bad idea
to carry dynamite in pocket.
I.R. embarrassed.
That one ain't mine.
Found him over at the cabbage patch.
But I've been raisin' him
as if it were my own.
I.R. always wanted to have childrens.
Well, that's mighty thoughty of you,
Baboon.
You'd make a good mama.
I got a nose for these things.
Lookie!
Yep! The nose always knows!
Good luck bein' a mama, Mr. Baboon.
Say goodbye to the mama Baboon, kids!
- Bye-bye, Mr. Mama Baboon!
- Bye-bye, Mr. Mama Baboon!
I.R. mommy.
Hey! What your name?
You not having a name?
I.R. name you after grandpa
of IR. Baboon!
Hello, Baby Grandpa!
Let's going home!
Dirty clothes basket is soft place
for sticking Baby Grandpa.
Baby Grandpa is hungry?
What is wrong with this picture?
That Baboon is a bad mother!
As a concerned citizen,
it is my duty to call this one in.
Operator?
"Get me I.M. Weasel!"
Hey! Head Nanny Weasel!
What do I do?
This Future Seventy-Third President
is startin' to draw flies!
I'll just change his diaper, Admiral Bullets.
Like it? Change mine!
Good idea!
Mr. Weasel?
Call for you
on the Emergency Nanny Phone.
Thanks, Loulabelle.
Head Nanny Weasel.
What?
A mother needs help
in the Nebraska Sand Hills?
Well, I'm just the man for the job.
For I.M. Weasel!
Nope. This just ain't natural.
I.R. finding food for Baby Grandpa.
Diet Beef Tip Ale, Corn Cob Gelatin Salad,
Sauerkraut Juice
I.R. contentment to be mommy.
Baby Grandpa all finished.
You drinking all milk!
How come you crying?
Ah, gee!
I.R. teaching you victory dance. ♪
I.R. teaching Baby Grandpa! ♪
Dancing with a baby?
Where is that Weasel?
Don't you worry, Mama. I'm your Nanny.
I'm here to help you.
I hear you've been dancing with your baby.
Is that true?
I.R. never hurt Baby Grandpa!
Who say I hurt Grandpa?
Why Weasel listen to
mean lady with no pants?
I.R. good mommy.
Time for to sleeping, Grandpa,
on soft dirty clothing.
Looks like we'll have to start from
the beginning with Mommy Lessons.
You need practice.
And you can start on me.
I'll be your training baby.
Baby needs a diaper change.
What are you going to do about it?
Hold Baby Grandpa out Window till he doo?
You put a clean diaper on the baby.
Grab a wash cloth.
Wipe.
Remember to go with the grain.
I.R. proud!
Perhaps Baby Grandpa needs a bath.
I.R. knowing how to bath!
Babies need fresh air.
Let's go for a stroll.
Draw, Old Woman!
Oh, twins!
Let us see them young-un's.
My baby had hair like that
when she was born,
and we shaved it!
Come on, Monkey Mama
shave that baby!
I am not a baby! I.M. Weasel.
The monster can think!
He's got the evil spirit!
Bad ladies scare Grandpa!
I.R. Baboon is a good mother after all.
Motherhood is sacred.
Powerful!
Beautiful!
Baboon and baby grandpa ♪
had a charming life together, ♪
with ups and downs and smiles ♪
and frowns that changed ♪
just like the weather. ♪
And grandpa grew into a man ♪
A big fat man ♪
But love, love, love, ♪
I.R. Mommy loves his Grandpa. ♪
Love, love, love, ♪
I.R. Mommy loves that Grandpa. ♪
Hey, care to dance?
I.R. sad 'cause Baby Grandpa
is all growed up.
Love is knowing when to let go. Let go.
Super Cow? What are you doing here?
I thought you'd never find me
hiding out in a Weasel cartoon!
Care to dance?