Dead to Me (2019) s02e02 Episode Script

1
Hi, Ben.
Hey.
Who the fuck is Ben?
Um I'm the fuck is Ben.
- What?
- Jen, this is Steve's brother.
What the fuck, Steve has a twin brother?
- He does.
- He do.
Steve has an identical twin brother?
- They're not identical.
- We're not actually identical.
- We're semi-identical.
- Semi-identical.
Oh, you're semi-identical.
Yeah, so two sperm, one egg.
Like a double yolk, only
the sperm is the yolk.
Does that make sense?
Am I dead? Did I die?
I don't think so. I mean,
unless we're all dead.
Nobody's dead.
No. We're not.
Nobody's dead.
Okay.
- Are you all right?
- Mm-hmm.
Hey, hey. You okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
You don't seem fine. You fainted.
And you look a little upset.
That's just my face.
I have an upset face.
No, it's a fine face. It's a good face.
- Sorry.
- Yeah.
- Are you all right?
- Yeah. I'm fine.
The fainting could be a
blood pressure thing.
Yeah. Ben's a doctor.
Chiropractor. And I'm gonna
beat you to the punch.
We are actual doctors,
and we got your back.
Um, have you been under
any stress lately?
- Um
- No, why would I be
- Nah.
- Like, just the minimal
- Maybe a smidge.
- stuff like political landscape
- Weight of the world
- global warming.
- Everybody's feeling it.
- Um
- But no.
- Little bit.
- All good.
- Yeah.
Coolio.
Can I just back up here?
Why are you here?
Oh, right. I'm sorry, I just
barged in, didn't I? Um
Judy, I tried you. Steve's
missing, and so is his car,
and he usually calls
our mom every night,
and she hasn't heard from him
in a few days. Nobody has.
- That's so weird.
- It's so weird.
- He calls his mom every day?
- Yeah, they're very close.
Yeah, he's her favorite.
Someone's got to be the
black sheep. Baa baa!
So, Judy, uh
I don't wanna freak you out,
but the FBI came by the house
today looking for Steve.
Have you seen him?
Uh
What did you do?
What do we do?
No.
- Nope.
- Haven't seen him.
I'm sorry, the the FBI
is looking for Steve?
Like, the American
FBI?
Yeah, that FBI.
- Why?
- I have no idea.
I mean, honestly, he's been in
trouble before, but not like this.
You know, this isn't him
getting into a fist fight
at a Sugar Ray concert.
Well, to be fair, the guy
was there ironically.
That's just so douchey.
- What?
- Sugar Ray's so fucking douchey.
- They have a couple good songs.
- They don't. Name one.
He's a journalist now.
- Mom.
- Honey. Hi, babe.
Can you just get your
bowl, get your cereal,
let's, you know what I mean,
start the process of the morning?
Okay. Uh, hi.
- Hey, bud.
- Well, this is my friend Ben.
I didn't know you had other friends.
- Oh.
- Sweetheart.
I'm worried. Dad didn't come
to my window this morning.
He didn't? I'm sure it's fine. I'm
sure he's just busy being a bird.
What the frig?
- What?
- Okay.
My dad just texted saying
they raided Steve's office.
What?
I got to go.
Um, he's wigging out. I have to go.
Thank you.
Bye.
Wait, the FBI is looking for
Steve? The fucking FBI.
Why?
I think that might be on me, actually.
Huh? What are you talking about?
I turned Steve in for money
laundering last week.
You what? You did what?
- I know. It's a lot to process.
- Oh, my God.
How can you be just telling me this now?
Oh, and he has a fucking identical twin?
You didn't feel like you should
have mentioned that before?
- Well, they're semi-identical.
- Oh, stop!
They're the fucking same person!
Okay. There was a lot
going on, all right?
You and I weren't exactly
talking when I turned Steve in.
Then you did what you had to do.
I had to help you hide the body.
- What are you doing? I liked that one.
- Shut up!
- Okay.
- Do you even know how fucked I am?
I mean, if it wasn't bad before, it's
The FBI?
I mean, they're good at
connecting dots, Judy,
- and we are the fucking dots.
- No, we are not the dots.
Steve's business is the dots.
That's all the FBI cares about.
They're actually really nice.
I've been cooperating with them.
What? You I'm sorry
Oh, my God.
Steve was right.
Wherever you go, fucking chaos follows.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry. Please. I didn't
mean to drag you into this mess.
- I'm sorry.
- Can you please just stop saying sorry?
You say sorry so much,
it doesn't mean anything anymore.
It's just like this fucking sound
that comes out of your mouth.
Okay, sorry.
What's gonna happen to my boys, Judy?
If I get caught
what's gonna happen to them?
They're gonna be orphans.
- No.
- Yes.
They'll be all alone, Judy.
No, I won't let that happen.
I will be there for them.
You? Oh, God.
You think I'm gonna
leave my kids to you?
You were just sleeping
in a car ten hours ago.
You might have the worst judgment
of anyone that I have ever met.
I can help us out of this.
I can go to the FBI and steer
'em in a different direction.
No.
You do not talk to the FBI.
You don't steer anything.
Just stay the fuck out of it.
Mexico?
Yeah. I was thinking about
it, and I remembered
that Steve always said that
if he ever got in real trouble,
that he would just go down to Mexico,
get a new identity and,
like, go away forever.
- A new identity?
- Yeah, right?
There's somewhere your
family used to vacation.
He always talked about it.
I mean, we used to go to Rosarito.
Rosarito!
Hey, girl.
- Hey, Ben.
- Hey.
- Hey, girl.
- No word from Steve, huh?
No. Weird, right, girl?
Super weird.
What is going on? Because the
FBI guys were really rude.
They took all of the computers
and didn't even want water.
Girl, that is rude.
- Right, girl?
- Girl.
Oh, my God.
Steve, what did you do?
I don't care if the condo
is carpeted, Janice.
Just sell it.
Look who made the cover
of Over Asking, Jennifer.
Wow, look at you.
Do you know how long I've
worked for this moment?
Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you
were gonna go through
- Thirty-six years.
- Thirty-six years.
Um, well, that's quite
the feather in your cap.
Am I picking up on a little jealousy?
That's not what I'm putting down.
Oh, I was drinking that.
Well, congratulations.
It is well-deserved.
As my Aunt Trista used to say,
"Success and passion are
two sides of the same coin.
Use the coin, and dreams fly.
Lose the coin, and "
Oh, can't remember.
But it's all in the article.
Oh, great. I really
can't wait to dig in.
Lorna, I need to ask
you something. It's
- It's, uh, it's about the boys.
- Oh.
- I'm all ears.
- Okay.
Okay, um
In the event that something
may happen to me,
I was wondering if, um
if you would be the
boys' legal guardian.
How long do you have?
What? No, I'm not sick.
You don't have to be brave
with me, you're family.
No, really.
No, I'm just
I'm redoing my will.
Just thought, since Ted, that I
I should update some stuff.
Of course. That's wise.
Yeah.
Raising Ted was the
great honor of my life.
It would be my privilege
to raise those boys.
Okay.
- Still, I'd get some blood work done.
- Hmm?
You're looking a little brittle.
- Thank you.
- How's your sleep?
Well, it could be better.
Hmm. Well.
It says to take one,
but you can take two.
- You'll sleep like a baby.
- Okay.
- This is fentanyl, Lorna.
- Huh?
How did you even get this?
I truly can't remember.
Well, must be good shit, then.
Friggin' Steve.
Didn't make enough money as a lawyer,
he had to steal, or whatever
the heck money laundering is.
Yeah, I'm not really sure.
I mean, I do know that it has
something to do with his art gallery.
What?
He told us he opened that
to sell your paintings.
Yeah, that's what he
told me, too, but
it's really just a front.
I'll probably never see
those paintings again.
Can I just say that
I'm glad you guys broke up.
I mean, it would've been great
to have you in the family,
but he doesn't deserve you.
You're much better off without him.
Oh, Judy. I know.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be a jerk.
Oh, God.
You know I love him.
- Yeah.
- I know you do, too.
Yeah.
Oh, Ben, I have to tell you something.
Okay.
I'm the one that turned
Steve in to the police.
W What? Why?
I don't know. I mean, at the time,
it seemed like a really good idea,
but I regret it now.
I really do.
Um
Wow.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
No, you did the right thing.
He brought this on himself.
You don't feel bad for one second.
He's always been so good at everything.
Except for doing the right thing.
Which, ironically, is usually
the easiest thing to do.
Do you mind if I keep this?
What is it?
It's from a trip that Steve and
I took to the Petrified Forest.
When I got pregnant for the first time.
Hey, Jude, I
I'm so sorry that didn't
work out for you.
I really hope you get
another chance at that.
Thanks.
Wait, the Petrified Forest?
I thought you weren't supposed
to take rocks from there.
Yeah, there are multiple signs.
- Friggin' Steve.
- Yeah.
May the good Lord be with you ♪
Down every road your roam ♪
And may sunshine and happiness ♪
Surround you when
you're far from home ♪
And may you grow to be proud ♪
Jen, hey.
- Oh, hi.
- We're looking for one more Harmommy
to run the beach cleanup next
Friday. Can I sign you up?
I'm busy Friday.
Okay, well, just looking
ahead, you know,
we need volunteers for
the Easter Lamb Jam,
which is a tentative title.
Tia is pushing it, but I'm
like, does it work too well?
Hmm. It doesn't.
Uh, Easter's a little far off, and
Yeah, I don't know if I'll be around.
I know you have a lot on your
plate being a single mom now,
but we need to get our ducks in a row
Okay, I said I don't fucking
know if I'll be able to.
Okay.
Gotcha.
Build a stairway to
heaven with a prince ♪
Or a vagabond ♪
And may you never love in vain ♪
Hi.
Hi.
Hey, I wanted to ask you, is your
brother Sean still a lawyer?
Why? Don't tell me, the cops are
finally suing you for harassment?
No. No, I'm redoing my will.
Oh, well, he's a criminal
defense attorney.
I'll take his number.
All right.
Hey, are you okay? You seem vulnerable.
It's a strange color on you.
No, I am
I just haven't been sleeping.
Well, somebody has,
but they are up now.
Well, hello.
- This is Adele.
- Mm-hmm.
Alan and I just got her.
How shmooshy is she?
She's so shmooshy.
- Yeah.
- You and Alan got a dog together, huh?
- You've been dating a month.
- I know.
We're a lesbian stereotype,
but there's no speed limit
on the highway of love.
Gross.
Hold her.
- Trust me.
- No, it's okay.
- I'm okay.
- You know you want to.
Oh. Why are you talking like that?
It's me. Adele. It's my voice.
Stupid.
Hi.
Hi, sweet girl.
For forever young ♪
I'll give you the number of her breeder.
You bought a puppy
from a fucking breeder?
No.
Hey, you know, guys, I was thinking,
you know, we haven't taken a family
vacation in a really long time,
and wouldn't that be fun?
You know, maybe go somewhere, like,
- far away?
- How far?
Oh, I don't know, honey, like,
the mountains, or Canada.
Canada's lame. It's like
the PBS of countries.
No, no. Canada's cool now.
We should be so lucky.
But I can't miss Holy
Harmonies rehearsal.
Christopher says that Jesus
never took a day off.
That worked out well for him, didn't it?
Can I practice parallel parking?
No.
Detective Perez. Hi.
- Are you here about my dad?
- Charlie.
You find his killer?
We're doing everything we can.
I need to talk to your mom alone.
- Go inside.
- Say what?
It's okay, honey, it's okay.
Everything's fine.
Just go inside. Sorry,
just, ever since his dad
No, it's okay, he's been through
a lot. It's tough on a kid.
Yeah.
I want to apologize.
Took me a few days,
but here's your copy of the
restraining order against Judy Hale.
Oh.
You should know that we tried
to serve her at work
I know this is gonna sound nuts,
but we're out of bay leaves. Hi.
- You got to be kidding me.
- Okay, I can explain.
Nice to see you. Did you get highlights?
I did.
I know. I know this just looks
really weird, but, um
- it was just all a big misunderstanding.
- Yeah.
It was a big misunderstanding
about her hitting your
husband with her car?
And you were just in my
office a few days ago
yelling at me to have her arrested,
which if I had the physical
evidence, trust me, I would.
I don't think that I was yelling
um but I I was wrong.
- It was Steve Wood's car.
- It was.
- He was driving.
- He was.
- Judy wasn't even there.
- No, I wasn't.
You told me she confessed.
- Well, I did, but
- She did.
Are you changing your story?
- Well, I mean, she was taking the blame.
- I was.
- Go inside.
- Okay.
All right, you know what I want to do?
I just want to put this
all behind me, you know?
Forgive, forget. Just
super solid. You get it.
No, I'm so confused.
Unless this has something to do
with the half-million dollar check
that Miss Hale gave you,
which you can't cash
because all of his accounts are frozen.
Steve Wood made her do it.
Did he? Oh.
You know how people drown, Mrs. Harding?
I'm sorry?
They get into water that
they think they can handle.
Then a riptide comes and pulls
them under, and then it's too late.
Oh.
Judy Hale is a riptide,
and Steve Wood is involved with
some very dangerous people,
so if I were you, I'd be very careful.
Fucking, fucking shit.
Fucking, fucking shit.
She's suspicious.
She got real, real coppy with me.
I mean, she is a cop.
No, I know, but she brought
up the fucking check.
I think she thinks that
you're trying to pay me off.
Pay you off?
Yes, to cover up the fact
that you killed my husband.
- Oh, that does make sense.
- Imagine what it looked like to her,
you coming out of the house
babbling about bay leaves.
By the way, you do have one left.
I don't fucking care about that!
Who are these dangerous people?
Okay, this might be good.
I think she's probably
talking about the Greeks.
Like, maybe she thinks that
they're responsible for
Steve disappearing.
I'm sorry, what what what Greeks?
Okay, it's complicated,
and I'm not sure who
all the players are
Just fucking spit it out, please!
Steve was peripherally involved
with the Greek Mafia. Peripherally.
I'm sorry, that's who he
was laundering money for?
- Yeah.
- The Greek Mafia?
Oh, my God, these words that
are coming out of my mouth
- don't make sense to me.
- They're more of a syndicate
- Oh, Jesus. Okay.
- whatever that is, but look,
we have to stay focused on the positive.
Nobody knows where Steve is right now,
and as long as he's
safe, then we're safe.
Okay, I don't understand how the
fuck you can be positive right now.
Because what other choice do I have?
Okay, the man I love is dead.
That's why I'm gonna stay focused
on whatever it is that I
need to stay focused on
so that I can get through that. Okay?
Okay.
- I should check on the salmon.
- Go on.
And I, uh, put a pie in the oven.
- You made pie?
- Yeah.
- What kind?
- Cherry, of course. Your favorite.
I'm on a diet. I gained
ten pounds this summer.
- You look beautiful.
- No.
I wish you would love yourself more.
Mmm! Judy, this is so good.
And I only eat, like, seven things.
Thank you.
What'd that cop want earlier?
- Oh.
- The, um
- The lady Yeah.
- She actually
- She wanted to discuss what happened
- Yeah.
- at that intersection yesterday.
- Oh, yeah.
She agrees with me
that she thinks that there
should be more stop signs, so
That's why she came to our house?
Yes, that's why she came to the house.
- I'm not stupid.
- No, you are not. You're very smart,
and you should be very
proud of your mother.
She's trying to do something
very positive for the community.
Anybody gonna get the door?
Hello.
Detective Perez.
Man, I thought you were my tacos.
Yeah, sorry to disappoint.
I wanted to tell you
that you were right.
About what?
Judy Hale and Steve
Wood were responsible
for the Harding hit-and-run,
but there is so much
more going on there,
and I could really use some help, if
- you're interested.
- Wait.
Are you offering me a job right now?
If you pass a psych test
and a breathalyzer.
Why would I want to work with you
or Hastings, for that matter?
That shady racist,
is he still chief of police?
He's also a misogynist, but yeah.
Then, no.
But, uh
Wow.
I did some digging.
Might be something useful in here.
Okay, well, if you change your mind
Sorry to stop by again.
I was in the neighborhood
because I purposefully
came to this neighborhood
to just do this.
Anyhoo.
- Anyway.
- Uh, found this at my parents.
I believe this is a Judy Hale original.
Oh, my God.
I painted this for your mom, like,
five years ago for Christmas.
You sure I can have it back?
- It wasn't prominently displayed.
- Oh.
- Well, thank you. That's so sweet.
- No, that's very sweet of you.
- We should probably
- You wanna come in?
I mean, sure.
Great.
Judy, this pie is amazing.
Thanks.
Uh, can I get you some beer
or some wine or something?
Thank you. I don't drink.
How about tea?
Oh, I will get crunk on some chamomile.
Okay.
Hey, Mom, can I go outside
and look for Dad Bird?
It's probably dead.
Hey! Char. Don't listen
to him. Yes, you may.
I'm just being real with him.
Somebody should be.
Come on, bro
I'm sorry about that. He's
He's just been going through
a lot since his dad died.
Oh.
Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.
I have a teenager too.
And I know it's not the same thing,
but when his mom and I got a divorce,
he, um vandalized a Carl's Jr.
That I can get behind.
Hey, um, thank you for inviting me in.
It's nice to be somewhere
outside of my parents' house.
They're just pacing and
stressing and worrying.
- Really?
- Yeah.
And Judy's totally right.
Steve is down in Mexico.
Oh. She told you that?
Yeah, we went to his office together.
Got it.
Yeah. This whole thing was just
It's peak Steve.
You know, I used to always say,
wherever Steve goes, chaos follows.
- Here's your tea.
- Mmm!
You like extra honey, right?
- Oh, honey me, honey.
- I remembered.
I'm already feeling it.
Mom, I found Dad,
- and he's not okay. Come on!
- What?
Come on.
- Mom, you gotta do something.
- Oh, God, okay. Um
- I don't know.
- What if I can climb up on the freezer?
- Oh, no, you don't have to
- Yeah? No?
- I think it's just too low for you.
- Oh.
- What about a ladder?
- Ladder, yes.
- Um, over here.
- Great.
Hang on, little fella.
- Oh, great.
- All right.
Judy's got it.
Come here. Come here, little birdie.
Come on. Ow, ooh, I got you.
I got you.
Hi, friend.
Hi.
Wow, what a beautiful backyard.
Thank you.
Oh, God.
You must live in that pool.
Not really.
I'd die to get in that pool.
You ready?
But what if he never comes back?
I like to think if you love someone,
they're always with you,
no matter where they go.
Okay. I'm ready.
Look. He didn't wanna go.
Well, look at that, he stayed.
Yeah.
Oh, how about that?
Looks like he's not ready
to leave just yet, is he?
- Yeah, not yet.
- Thank you for handling that.
- How long have you had him?
- Well, um, he's my dad.
It's a good thing you were here.
And he'll continue to be.
I'm glad it's a good thing.
Judy, I
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
Oh. You're not a dad bird, are you?
You're a mom.
What did you do?
What do we do?