Dear White People (2017) s02e02 Episode Script
Chapter II
1 [MELANCHOLY SOUL MUSIC.]
[MAN.]
Hurtin', baby That's when my love left the story Hey, Reggie [NARRATOR.]
Ah the pity "hey.
" Lately, Reggie Green's been inundated with them, as if he hadn't already been through enough.
Three weeks ago, a house party comes to an end with Reggie staring down the barrel of a gun, courtesy of a campus security guard.
He needed to see some ID, he said.
Watch closely.
1825.
In response to a slave revolt at a nearby Ivy, Winchester issues arms to locals.
Their goal to prevent the same from happening in Winchester's hallowed halls, because bigots with guns has never gone wrong.
1930.
Winchester makes its campus security department official.
The gun policy is not revisited.
Freshman year.
Though Howard University was Reggie's first choice, Winchester's computer science program was peerless.
And upon finding a home at Armstrong-Parker, Reggie is filled with hope.
Hi.
Mm-hmm.
Hurtin', hurtin', hurtin', hurtin' Hurtin' [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING.]
Hey, Reggie.
Again Clifton, if you're gonna make Hot Pockets, open a window.
This room smells like a pig died in a Little Caesars.
And headphones, man.
What the fuck are you listening to? It's bomb, isn't it? I can gift you a copy on iTunes if you want.
I definitely do not want.
I thought we agreed this would be a dry room.
Your side is dry.
Mine is drowning.
[MUSIC STOPS.]
Reggie, I know you've recently gone through something traumatic.
Yeah, this conversation.
I can't imagine being pistol-whipped - What? - In front of That's not what happened.
I can be more than a roommate.
I can be a consigliere, a shoulder on which to cry, or dare I say, a friend? We organized a rally around what went down, and you tried to cock-block us with your own.
Yeah, but I didn't know you then.
Pain is pain.
This isn't a competish, Reg.
Don't shorten my name.
Just know this room is a safe space, Reginald.
Don't lengthen my name, either.
[CELL PHONE CHIMES.]
Hey, Reggie.
- Hey, man.
- [EXHALES.]
[GABE.]
Everything okay? Yeah, uh just caught me daydreaming.
So did you get my text? It's not about the doc I'm making, really.
I just want to sit down and talk.
I'm good.
I've moved on.
I can handle A-P being integrated.
I don't even have an issue with white folks.
Clifton's just so white.
Like, um, he calls his parents by their first names.
He's always asking me if I've heard of Chance the Rapper.
He doesn't even use a washcloth.
How do you feel clean? Reggie.
[SIGHS.]
Why are you here? So I won't be labeled the angry black man.
We want to ensure you're dealing with what happened in a healthy fashion.
We care about you.
[LAUGHS.]
That the school's new motto? How do you say that in Latin? Non curo de te If Winchester gave a shit about me, they wouldn't have just given me a shrink.
They would've given that motherfucker a shrink.
They just covering they asses in case somebody kills themselves.
But well, you're not thinking about killing yourself, though? [SCOFFS, CHUCKLES.]
Hey, Reg Can you give these to Dean Fairbanks? You can give them to him yourself.
He wants to see you.
[DEAN FAIRBANKS.]
So you just quit the presidency in an email? Text message.
Troy, don't you see? You're playing right into their narrative.
"First black president of Winchester goes down in flames.
" I'm more disappointed than I am angry.
But you best believe I'm mad as hell, too.
Noted.
- Warmed him up for you.
- Thanks.
[DEAN FAIRBANKS.]
Reggie, have a seat, please.
I see you completed all your sessions.
That's good.
Listen.
Brother to brother.
I am here for you if you ever want to talk in a less formal setting.
The Met Gala is less formal than this.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh, I gotta run.
Um I know you're just doing your job.
Son, my job, basically, is to approve student events, glad-hand donors and try to stay awake during board meetings.
I'm talking to you from my heart.
We don't always have someone who understands where we're coming from.
I want you to be in the right head space so that you can succeed.
Mm-hmm.
[DEAN FAIRBANKS.]
Listen.
You got 99 problems.
Your head doesn't need to be one.
[CHUCKLES.]
I'll think on that.
Hey, what happened to, um to Officer Ames? School's taking appropriate actions.
Right.
[DERECA ON TV.]
What can you do? Nothing but come to me.
I understand your need for closure, baby, but you haven't dealt with your fire, your rage! Outside of a snowboarding shop, I mean How you doin'? You know, work, water polo, steppin' up my needlepoint game How are you doing? I'd be doing much better if people stopped asking me how I was doing.
Yeah, people care about you enough to check in.
Sounds fucking awful.
[DERECA.]
You were mugged at gunpoint.
You got got! He made you run yo' shit.
Mm-kay? Mm-kay? Mm-kay? - I can change that.
- Nah.
But it was more than a gun, wasn't it? It represents something more devastating.
A white man's penis.
Penis! stop until I feel my tears on my titties.
[KORDELL.]
Sorry, fam.
Our Bible study group reserved the lounge.
Hey, Reggie.
Uh, you know, maybe you should stick around.
This'll give you more clarity than "Oh-no-prah," huh? Is Reggie the only one here? Oh, sorry, Coco.
Would you like to join? Not really, no.
Then why did you ask? I wanted the opportunity to decline directly.
Heathen.
Feel like feeding your spirit? - My spirit could eat.
[CHUCKLES.]
- [KORDELL.]
Excellent.
[KORDELL.]
Here's a passage that I think, Reggie, you especially will appreciate.
Matthew 5:39.
"But I tell you not to resist an evil person, but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.
" Runnin' out of cheeks.
I'm sorry, what was that? I love Jesus.
Um, how about this one? "If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you.
If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.
" Uh, where did Jesus say that? Gospel of Thomas.
It's apocryphal, but it goes in.
[CLEARING THROAT.]
You know what? We should pray.
[SIGHS.]
Dear Heavenly Father, I ask that you open Reggie's heart to forgive his enemies.
Guide him to let go and let God lead him.
You know what? This is a lot.
If you want to go, leave before he starts listing adjectives about Jesus.
[KORDELL.]
Let your light shine through to the path of your son, Jesus, who is both gracious and merciful, rageful but fair, glorious but humble, sweet but savory - Hey.
- Hey.
Don't tell me you're moving into A-P.
No, no, I'm, uh I was gonna meet, um Hey, did you think maybe a little bit more about us, you know, sittin' down or Gabe, I really don't need or want to talk right now.
Yeah.
- Well, if you change your mind - Hmm.
[EXHALES.]
[REGGIE.]
You two get a room.
[MAN.]
We already got one.
You jealous? Actually, yeah.
You know they got all the rest of us Negroes doubling up to make room for the white refugee crisis? [CHUCKLING.]
Hey.
What you did at Town Hall was so brave.
You really stuck it to the man.
[CHUCKLES.]
Well, I'm, uh I'm a great sticker.
[LAUGHS.]
I'll bet.
Text me later.
Man, this shit's too easy.
Am I right? Right about what? Man, come on.
The silver lining to all of this is the sympathy pussy.
I mean, you gotta be swimming in it, bro.
The fuck are you talking about, man? Dude, look, ever since I broke that window, I've logged around a quarter-mile of ass.
Reparations never felt so good.
[LAUGHS.]
That was your takeaway? [LAUGHING.]
You want to get fucked up like old times? Fuck yeah.
I finally found Man, who would have thought that I'd be smoking and drinking with Carlton Banks and a competent Colin Jost? - Shade.
- [TROY LAUGHS.]
Check out millennial Frederick Douglass calling me Carlton.
Nigga, you dressed like you got a tee time later.
Nigga, you dressed like Che Guevara at Fashion Week.
What is this, the dozens? - Nobody says that anymore.
- [TROY.]
What are you, 35? I was being ironic, obviously.
This would be a good bit for the magazine, though.
- Pass.
- [KURT.]
Oh, come on.
It's gonna be awesome.
- Talkin' about that blunt, man.
- All right.
I never knew you smoked.
Shit.
I never knew you smiled.
Baldwin said, "To be a Negro and relatively conscious is to be in a rage almost all the time.
" This is medicinal.
Damn.
Alec Baldwin was a genius.
Kidding.
Just kidding.
#Selfcare.
Somebody needs to hook Sam up.
Did you see her online meltdown? She went nuclear on some troll.
You know what? I think we need to kick this up a notch.
[DRUMS ON BAR.]
How you boys feel about a little Maryland-Massachusetts, huh? MDMA? - [LAUGHING.]
- Ah, there it is.
- That was solid.
- Reg, what do you say? - Fuck it.
- [LAUGHS.]
Man Thank you.
I'm really glad you came tonight.
I always thought you didn't like me.
I didn't.
At all.
And oddly, having fun with you now makes me like you even less.
You Pastiche cats, man, y'all talk down to us like we intellectual lightweights.
We get satire, but do you? Nigga, it's supposed to be aimed at the powerful, and y'all just trying to get a reaction.
You're not wrong.
This must be some strong shit.
It is.
But seriously, if I encourage the system, I'm a racist.
I get that now.
- [REGGIE AND TROY LAUGH.]
- What? You want a cookie or something? That would really be amazing, but Wait, what are you guys laughing at? It's like you expectin' a Kennedy Center Honor or some shit, man.
White people finally realizing how racism works is like basically getting a posthumous GED.
[LAUGHS.]
I'm gonna get a cigarette and take a five-minute peace walk.
And I'm taking your hat.
[GROANS.]
Thank you.
My dad calls Kurt [AS DEAN FAIRBANKS.]
"the perfect confluence of white privilege and nepotism.
" [LAUGHS.]
Spot-on, man.
Yo, why were you in his office earlier? He make you sign something saying you wouldn't sue the school? Troy, that is so cynical.
And completely accurate.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
He even quoted Jay-Z.
He said [AS DEAN FAIRBANKS.]
"You got 99 problems, but your head shouldn't be one of them.
" [REGGIE LAUGHS.]
I told him to never say that corny shit again.
Parents.
You raise 'em the best you can.
They always trying to act grown.
Mm.
Shit, I still ain't even told my dad yet.
Why not? A million reasons, man.
Like, how you tell a former Black Panther that you got punked by a rent-a-cop? At least you broke a window.
Shit, all I got was a white roommate.
A really white roommate.
[LAUGHS.]
You use a washcloth, right? Nah, nigga, I use a pouf.
What am I, an animal? Yo, what happened with us? We just into different shit right now, man.
I mean, I got my "building a more inclusive world through the technologies we use" thing, and, you know What do you have? Bro.
Troy.
You all right, my dude? I'm about to be.
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you trying to take more, man? Like, I'm feelin' nice right now.
You can always get nicer.
Hey, Reg.
I just I can't stop thinking about how that cop beat you within an inch of your life.
[MOUTHING WORDS.]
Do you wanna ride in my blimp, girl? Do you wanna ride in my blimp? See the night sky in my blimp, girl Do you wanna ride in my blimp? Do you wanna love in my blimp, girl? Do you wanna love in my blimp? I own an entire fucking blimp, girl Do you wanna ride in my blimp? Do you wanna ride? Do you wanna ride? Do you wanna ride? Do you wanna ride? Do you wanna ride? Do you wanna ride? Do you wanna ride? Do you wanna ride in my blimp, girl? Do you wanna ride in my blimp? [DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
- [CLIFTON.]
Reggie? - [REGGIE GASPS.]
[CLIFTON.]
I need to talk to you.
Your drinking has affected me in the following ways Bro, your face is offending me in the following ways.
Let me finish.
First, I confided in you about my fear of dolphins, and the next morning, you didn't remember our conversation.
That made me feel unheard.
Next, your alcohol-fueled nookie spree has forced me into sexile.
My T3/T4 disc is aggravated from sleeping on the lounge couch! You have too many feelings! Did you even feed this woman? Ma'am, would you like a Hot Pocket? Ooh.
You got that broccoli and cheddar? Of course.
[REGGIE SIGHS.]
When you look at me Tell me what you see Am I the motherfucker That you thought I'd be? Am I dressing good Like you said I should? Am I good enough To take back to your hood? Thanks, Winchester.
[FEEDBACK WHINES.]
I've always wondered what it'd be like to sit in Holiday Hall and witness the birth of one of our next great thinkers.
[JOELLE.]
Mm-hmm, and after tonight, we will continue to wonder.
Thank you.
You brought a flask, Reg? You sound like my roommate.
Clifton might have a point.
Yeah, that felt crazy as soon as I said it.
Big Bird had a better flow when Snoop Dogg was on Sesame Street.
Ah so, Lionel we're gettin' strong "date night" vibes.
Is this a thing? We've been spending some time getting to know each other.
Building.
Speaking of things Spending some time getting to know each other.
Building.
[NELSON.]
All right, y'all, up next, the soothing vocal stylings of Miss Joelle Brooks.
[SCATTERED APPLAUSE.]
You take special requests? - How about "My Neck, My Back"? - Boy, you ain't shit.
Shut up.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
[PIANO PLAYING.]
I'm gettin' tired of your shit You don't never buy me nothin' See, every time you come around You got to bring Jim, James, Paul and Tyrone See, why can't we be By ourselves sometimes? See, I've been havin' this on my mind For a long time I just want it to be you and me Like it used to be Baby But you don't know how to act So matter fact, I think You better call Tyrone Call him And tell him come on Help you get yo' shit You need to call Tyrone Hold on.
But you can't use my phone [CHEERING.]
Thank you.
Damn, woman! [CHUCKLES.]
Erykah Badu just felt a chill down her spine, and she has no idea why! [JOELLE.]
Hmm-hmm! You, uh you feel like kickin' it? - Want to go for a walk? - I think I'm good.
I'm just gonna go home and watch A Wrinkle in Time again.
Oh.
Okay.
Okay.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
Yeah? Hey.
You got a minute? When I went here, there was half as many black students.
Messes with your head.
We, uh we called it "going cracker crazy.
" - [LAUGHS.]
- But don't quote me.
How'd you get by? [DEAN FAIRBANKS.]
Rah Rah Rah's.
Cape Verdean restaurant, about a half hour east.
I would get in my car, and I would just drive looking for anybody that even looked like me.
One day, the road took me there.
Great little mom-and-pop spot.
I went there so often that they started calling me Winchester Boy.
And then Chester for short.
They would listen to me talk about parties and protests and politics.
They were fascinated.
It was like they had a, uh like they had a spy inside the ivory tower.
It was a place of refuge for more than just a few of us.
- Walter.
- Hey! - Fantastic day, huh? - Absolutely gorgeous.
- See you at the links.
- Darn straight, you will! [LAUGHS.]
"Darn straight, you will!" So where's your Rah Rah Rah's? It was A-P.
Yeah.
Reg, have you, uh, talked to anybody about that? You know, the incident and how you're really feeling? Normally, I'm like Teflon.
Nothing bothers me, but now I can't sleep.
I'm having panic attacks.
It's not like the dude shot me No.
Don't do that.
No.
The worst thing we can do is normalize this stuff.
Reggie.
You had a near-death experience.
I really hoped that the therapy sessions would have helped.
I'm not a therapy person.
Look at these kids.
Now, their biggest concerns is about relationships and how they're gonna get into grad school.
And most of them are in therapy.
Funny, we have the same concerns, yet, put on top of that, we have to be concerned with not getting shot up at a house party.
I'm good on all the talking, man.
No, no, no, no! Listen to me! Do not take the bait! Appropriate actions? They are coming, I promise you.
How long does it take to fire a rent-a-cop? It's not that simple.
He's in the union.
Please, be patient.
He will pay for what he did.
I don't want him to pay.
I want him to feel small, like he made me feel.
- I want him to hurt.
- Listen, I understand.
You have no idea what goes on in my world.
Now, for that asshole, what he did was a moment.
But you cannot let those few seconds become your whole life! How? You gotta find a way to let this out, son.
I don't ask for much Just enough to live Hey.
Sure you want to do this on camera? It's cool, man.
Let's do it.
All right.
Hi.
I'm Reggie Green.
Reggie, thank you for talking with me.
Guess you want to hear about the night.
I didn't get beat by a baton, by the way.
Uh, well, we'll, uh yeah, we're gonna talk about oppression and, uh, police brutality.
The big stuff.
Um but first, let's talk about the smaller things that can cut just as deep.
Last week, I saw a white woman walking toward me, and I crossed the street.
Every time I see one of 'em, I know they're thinking, "Cross the street.
Don't cross the street.
No, I'll look racist.
" I'm a good person who doesn't pose a threat, but they see me as one, and that is a threat to me.
So to the oppressive class, what's the takeaway? You know what? If I'm being completely honest, I'm done seeing myself through other people's eyes.
I'm telling you what's going on beneath my skin.
That's my takeaway.
[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING.]
I don't give a fuck about theirs.
[JADEN SMITH.]
Watch me Watch me, watch me do this Watch me, watch me, watch me do this Can't find me, up, up and away I give a fuck 'bout your wave My nigga, I surf every day Drownin' my soul in the basement Look, I ain't got much in the bank I got a lot I could say Tied up with goddesses, hey I hope you forgive my mistakes Watch me, watch me, watch me do this It's always been more than the music You riding waves On the back of my cruise ship Look, watch me, watch me Watch me do this Since 2012 I've been the coolest If you do not get it My nigga, you foolish Hey! That's what they yell When we come around Hey! This is your town? Well, we run it now Hey! How big is your army, a hundred thou? Hey! If you want the rain Then we comin' down Look, look, look This shit is out of here You got the heat I was not aware Me and Bebe out in Rotterdam Got a new man, damn, now I see him He on the floor in my coliseum I hope to God he don't sign a prenup See my ex on the street Like, "I never"
[MAN.]
Hurtin', baby That's when my love left the story Hey, Reggie [NARRATOR.]
Ah the pity "hey.
" Lately, Reggie Green's been inundated with them, as if he hadn't already been through enough.
Three weeks ago, a house party comes to an end with Reggie staring down the barrel of a gun, courtesy of a campus security guard.
He needed to see some ID, he said.
Watch closely.
1825.
In response to a slave revolt at a nearby Ivy, Winchester issues arms to locals.
Their goal to prevent the same from happening in Winchester's hallowed halls, because bigots with guns has never gone wrong.
1930.
Winchester makes its campus security department official.
The gun policy is not revisited.
Freshman year.
Though Howard University was Reggie's first choice, Winchester's computer science program was peerless.
And upon finding a home at Armstrong-Parker, Reggie is filled with hope.
Hi.
Mm-hmm.
Hurtin', hurtin', hurtin', hurtin' Hurtin' [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING.]
Hey, Reggie.
Again Clifton, if you're gonna make Hot Pockets, open a window.
This room smells like a pig died in a Little Caesars.
And headphones, man.
What the fuck are you listening to? It's bomb, isn't it? I can gift you a copy on iTunes if you want.
I definitely do not want.
I thought we agreed this would be a dry room.
Your side is dry.
Mine is drowning.
[MUSIC STOPS.]
Reggie, I know you've recently gone through something traumatic.
Yeah, this conversation.
I can't imagine being pistol-whipped - What? - In front of That's not what happened.
I can be more than a roommate.
I can be a consigliere, a shoulder on which to cry, or dare I say, a friend? We organized a rally around what went down, and you tried to cock-block us with your own.
Yeah, but I didn't know you then.
Pain is pain.
This isn't a competish, Reg.
Don't shorten my name.
Just know this room is a safe space, Reginald.
Don't lengthen my name, either.
[CELL PHONE CHIMES.]
Hey, Reggie.
- Hey, man.
- [EXHALES.]
[GABE.]
Everything okay? Yeah, uh just caught me daydreaming.
So did you get my text? It's not about the doc I'm making, really.
I just want to sit down and talk.
I'm good.
I've moved on.
I can handle A-P being integrated.
I don't even have an issue with white folks.
Clifton's just so white.
Like, um, he calls his parents by their first names.
He's always asking me if I've heard of Chance the Rapper.
He doesn't even use a washcloth.
How do you feel clean? Reggie.
[SIGHS.]
Why are you here? So I won't be labeled the angry black man.
We want to ensure you're dealing with what happened in a healthy fashion.
We care about you.
[LAUGHS.]
That the school's new motto? How do you say that in Latin? Non curo de te If Winchester gave a shit about me, they wouldn't have just given me a shrink.
They would've given that motherfucker a shrink.
They just covering they asses in case somebody kills themselves.
But well, you're not thinking about killing yourself, though? [SCOFFS, CHUCKLES.]
Hey, Reg Can you give these to Dean Fairbanks? You can give them to him yourself.
He wants to see you.
[DEAN FAIRBANKS.]
So you just quit the presidency in an email? Text message.
Troy, don't you see? You're playing right into their narrative.
"First black president of Winchester goes down in flames.
" I'm more disappointed than I am angry.
But you best believe I'm mad as hell, too.
Noted.
- Warmed him up for you.
- Thanks.
[DEAN FAIRBANKS.]
Reggie, have a seat, please.
I see you completed all your sessions.
That's good.
Listen.
Brother to brother.
I am here for you if you ever want to talk in a less formal setting.
The Met Gala is less formal than this.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh, I gotta run.
Um I know you're just doing your job.
Son, my job, basically, is to approve student events, glad-hand donors and try to stay awake during board meetings.
I'm talking to you from my heart.
We don't always have someone who understands where we're coming from.
I want you to be in the right head space so that you can succeed.
Mm-hmm.
[DEAN FAIRBANKS.]
Listen.
You got 99 problems.
Your head doesn't need to be one.
[CHUCKLES.]
I'll think on that.
Hey, what happened to, um to Officer Ames? School's taking appropriate actions.
Right.
[DERECA ON TV.]
What can you do? Nothing but come to me.
I understand your need for closure, baby, but you haven't dealt with your fire, your rage! Outside of a snowboarding shop, I mean How you doin'? You know, work, water polo, steppin' up my needlepoint game How are you doing? I'd be doing much better if people stopped asking me how I was doing.
Yeah, people care about you enough to check in.
Sounds fucking awful.
[DERECA.]
You were mugged at gunpoint.
You got got! He made you run yo' shit.
Mm-kay? Mm-kay? Mm-kay? - I can change that.
- Nah.
But it was more than a gun, wasn't it? It represents something more devastating.
A white man's penis.
Penis! stop until I feel my tears on my titties.
[KORDELL.]
Sorry, fam.
Our Bible study group reserved the lounge.
Hey, Reggie.
Uh, you know, maybe you should stick around.
This'll give you more clarity than "Oh-no-prah," huh? Is Reggie the only one here? Oh, sorry, Coco.
Would you like to join? Not really, no.
Then why did you ask? I wanted the opportunity to decline directly.
Heathen.
Feel like feeding your spirit? - My spirit could eat.
[CHUCKLES.]
- [KORDELL.]
Excellent.
[KORDELL.]
Here's a passage that I think, Reggie, you especially will appreciate.
Matthew 5:39.
"But I tell you not to resist an evil person, but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.
" Runnin' out of cheeks.
I'm sorry, what was that? I love Jesus.
Um, how about this one? "If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you.
If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.
" Uh, where did Jesus say that? Gospel of Thomas.
It's apocryphal, but it goes in.
[CLEARING THROAT.]
You know what? We should pray.
[SIGHS.]
Dear Heavenly Father, I ask that you open Reggie's heart to forgive his enemies.
Guide him to let go and let God lead him.
You know what? This is a lot.
If you want to go, leave before he starts listing adjectives about Jesus.
[KORDELL.]
Let your light shine through to the path of your son, Jesus, who is both gracious and merciful, rageful but fair, glorious but humble, sweet but savory - Hey.
- Hey.
Don't tell me you're moving into A-P.
No, no, I'm, uh I was gonna meet, um Hey, did you think maybe a little bit more about us, you know, sittin' down or Gabe, I really don't need or want to talk right now.
Yeah.
- Well, if you change your mind - Hmm.
[EXHALES.]
[REGGIE.]
You two get a room.
[MAN.]
We already got one.
You jealous? Actually, yeah.
You know they got all the rest of us Negroes doubling up to make room for the white refugee crisis? [CHUCKLING.]
Hey.
What you did at Town Hall was so brave.
You really stuck it to the man.
[CHUCKLES.]
Well, I'm, uh I'm a great sticker.
[LAUGHS.]
I'll bet.
Text me later.
Man, this shit's too easy.
Am I right? Right about what? Man, come on.
The silver lining to all of this is the sympathy pussy.
I mean, you gotta be swimming in it, bro.
The fuck are you talking about, man? Dude, look, ever since I broke that window, I've logged around a quarter-mile of ass.
Reparations never felt so good.
[LAUGHS.]
That was your takeaway? [LAUGHING.]
You want to get fucked up like old times? Fuck yeah.
I finally found Man, who would have thought that I'd be smoking and drinking with Carlton Banks and a competent Colin Jost? - Shade.
- [TROY LAUGHS.]
Check out millennial Frederick Douglass calling me Carlton.
Nigga, you dressed like you got a tee time later.
Nigga, you dressed like Che Guevara at Fashion Week.
What is this, the dozens? - Nobody says that anymore.
- [TROY.]
What are you, 35? I was being ironic, obviously.
This would be a good bit for the magazine, though.
- Pass.
- [KURT.]
Oh, come on.
It's gonna be awesome.
- Talkin' about that blunt, man.
- All right.
I never knew you smoked.
Shit.
I never knew you smiled.
Baldwin said, "To be a Negro and relatively conscious is to be in a rage almost all the time.
" This is medicinal.
Damn.
Alec Baldwin was a genius.
Kidding.
Just kidding.
#Selfcare.
Somebody needs to hook Sam up.
Did you see her online meltdown? She went nuclear on some troll.
You know what? I think we need to kick this up a notch.
[DRUMS ON BAR.]
How you boys feel about a little Maryland-Massachusetts, huh? MDMA? - [LAUGHING.]
- Ah, there it is.
- That was solid.
- Reg, what do you say? - Fuck it.
- [LAUGHS.]
Man Thank you.
I'm really glad you came tonight.
I always thought you didn't like me.
I didn't.
At all.
And oddly, having fun with you now makes me like you even less.
You Pastiche cats, man, y'all talk down to us like we intellectual lightweights.
We get satire, but do you? Nigga, it's supposed to be aimed at the powerful, and y'all just trying to get a reaction.
You're not wrong.
This must be some strong shit.
It is.
But seriously, if I encourage the system, I'm a racist.
I get that now.
- [REGGIE AND TROY LAUGH.]
- What? You want a cookie or something? That would really be amazing, but Wait, what are you guys laughing at? It's like you expectin' a Kennedy Center Honor or some shit, man.
White people finally realizing how racism works is like basically getting a posthumous GED.
[LAUGHS.]
I'm gonna get a cigarette and take a five-minute peace walk.
And I'm taking your hat.
[GROANS.]
Thank you.
My dad calls Kurt [AS DEAN FAIRBANKS.]
"the perfect confluence of white privilege and nepotism.
" [LAUGHS.]
Spot-on, man.
Yo, why were you in his office earlier? He make you sign something saying you wouldn't sue the school? Troy, that is so cynical.
And completely accurate.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
He even quoted Jay-Z.
He said [AS DEAN FAIRBANKS.]
"You got 99 problems, but your head shouldn't be one of them.
" [REGGIE LAUGHS.]
I told him to never say that corny shit again.
Parents.
You raise 'em the best you can.
They always trying to act grown.
Mm.
Shit, I still ain't even told my dad yet.
Why not? A million reasons, man.
Like, how you tell a former Black Panther that you got punked by a rent-a-cop? At least you broke a window.
Shit, all I got was a white roommate.
A really white roommate.
[LAUGHS.]
You use a washcloth, right? Nah, nigga, I use a pouf.
What am I, an animal? Yo, what happened with us? We just into different shit right now, man.
I mean, I got my "building a more inclusive world through the technologies we use" thing, and, you know What do you have? Bro.
Troy.
You all right, my dude? I'm about to be.
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you trying to take more, man? Like, I'm feelin' nice right now.
You can always get nicer.
Hey, Reg.
I just I can't stop thinking about how that cop beat you within an inch of your life.
[MOUTHING WORDS.]
Do you wanna ride in my blimp, girl? Do you wanna ride in my blimp? See the night sky in my blimp, girl Do you wanna ride in my blimp? Do you wanna love in my blimp, girl? Do you wanna love in my blimp? I own an entire fucking blimp, girl Do you wanna ride in my blimp? Do you wanna ride? Do you wanna ride? Do you wanna ride? Do you wanna ride? Do you wanna ride? Do you wanna ride? Do you wanna ride? Do you wanna ride in my blimp, girl? Do you wanna ride in my blimp? [DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
- [CLIFTON.]
Reggie? - [REGGIE GASPS.]
[CLIFTON.]
I need to talk to you.
Your drinking has affected me in the following ways Bro, your face is offending me in the following ways.
Let me finish.
First, I confided in you about my fear of dolphins, and the next morning, you didn't remember our conversation.
That made me feel unheard.
Next, your alcohol-fueled nookie spree has forced me into sexile.
My T3/T4 disc is aggravated from sleeping on the lounge couch! You have too many feelings! Did you even feed this woman? Ma'am, would you like a Hot Pocket? Ooh.
You got that broccoli and cheddar? Of course.
[REGGIE SIGHS.]
When you look at me Tell me what you see Am I the motherfucker That you thought I'd be? Am I dressing good Like you said I should? Am I good enough To take back to your hood? Thanks, Winchester.
[FEEDBACK WHINES.]
I've always wondered what it'd be like to sit in Holiday Hall and witness the birth of one of our next great thinkers.
[JOELLE.]
Mm-hmm, and after tonight, we will continue to wonder.
Thank you.
You brought a flask, Reg? You sound like my roommate.
Clifton might have a point.
Yeah, that felt crazy as soon as I said it.
Big Bird had a better flow when Snoop Dogg was on Sesame Street.
Ah so, Lionel we're gettin' strong "date night" vibes.
Is this a thing? We've been spending some time getting to know each other.
Building.
Speaking of things Spending some time getting to know each other.
Building.
[NELSON.]
All right, y'all, up next, the soothing vocal stylings of Miss Joelle Brooks.
[SCATTERED APPLAUSE.]
You take special requests? - How about "My Neck, My Back"? - Boy, you ain't shit.
Shut up.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
[PIANO PLAYING.]
I'm gettin' tired of your shit You don't never buy me nothin' See, every time you come around You got to bring Jim, James, Paul and Tyrone See, why can't we be By ourselves sometimes? See, I've been havin' this on my mind For a long time I just want it to be you and me Like it used to be Baby But you don't know how to act So matter fact, I think You better call Tyrone Call him And tell him come on Help you get yo' shit You need to call Tyrone Hold on.
But you can't use my phone [CHEERING.]
Thank you.
Damn, woman! [CHUCKLES.]
Erykah Badu just felt a chill down her spine, and she has no idea why! [JOELLE.]
Hmm-hmm! You, uh you feel like kickin' it? - Want to go for a walk? - I think I'm good.
I'm just gonna go home and watch A Wrinkle in Time again.
Oh.
Okay.
Okay.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
Yeah? Hey.
You got a minute? When I went here, there was half as many black students.
Messes with your head.
We, uh we called it "going cracker crazy.
" - [LAUGHS.]
- But don't quote me.
How'd you get by? [DEAN FAIRBANKS.]
Rah Rah Rah's.
Cape Verdean restaurant, about a half hour east.
I would get in my car, and I would just drive looking for anybody that even looked like me.
One day, the road took me there.
Great little mom-and-pop spot.
I went there so often that they started calling me Winchester Boy.
And then Chester for short.
They would listen to me talk about parties and protests and politics.
They were fascinated.
It was like they had a, uh like they had a spy inside the ivory tower.
It was a place of refuge for more than just a few of us.
- Walter.
- Hey! - Fantastic day, huh? - Absolutely gorgeous.
- See you at the links.
- Darn straight, you will! [LAUGHS.]
"Darn straight, you will!" So where's your Rah Rah Rah's? It was A-P.
Yeah.
Reg, have you, uh, talked to anybody about that? You know, the incident and how you're really feeling? Normally, I'm like Teflon.
Nothing bothers me, but now I can't sleep.
I'm having panic attacks.
It's not like the dude shot me No.
Don't do that.
No.
The worst thing we can do is normalize this stuff.
Reggie.
You had a near-death experience.
I really hoped that the therapy sessions would have helped.
I'm not a therapy person.
Look at these kids.
Now, their biggest concerns is about relationships and how they're gonna get into grad school.
And most of them are in therapy.
Funny, we have the same concerns, yet, put on top of that, we have to be concerned with not getting shot up at a house party.
I'm good on all the talking, man.
No, no, no, no! Listen to me! Do not take the bait! Appropriate actions? They are coming, I promise you.
How long does it take to fire a rent-a-cop? It's not that simple.
He's in the union.
Please, be patient.
He will pay for what he did.
I don't want him to pay.
I want him to feel small, like he made me feel.
- I want him to hurt.
- Listen, I understand.
You have no idea what goes on in my world.
Now, for that asshole, what he did was a moment.
But you cannot let those few seconds become your whole life! How? You gotta find a way to let this out, son.
I don't ask for much Just enough to live Hey.
Sure you want to do this on camera? It's cool, man.
Let's do it.
All right.
Hi.
I'm Reggie Green.
Reggie, thank you for talking with me.
Guess you want to hear about the night.
I didn't get beat by a baton, by the way.
Uh, well, we'll, uh yeah, we're gonna talk about oppression and, uh, police brutality.
The big stuff.
Um but first, let's talk about the smaller things that can cut just as deep.
Last week, I saw a white woman walking toward me, and I crossed the street.
Every time I see one of 'em, I know they're thinking, "Cross the street.
Don't cross the street.
No, I'll look racist.
" I'm a good person who doesn't pose a threat, but they see me as one, and that is a threat to me.
So to the oppressive class, what's the takeaway? You know what? If I'm being completely honest, I'm done seeing myself through other people's eyes.
I'm telling you what's going on beneath my skin.
That's my takeaway.
[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING.]
I don't give a fuck about theirs.
[JADEN SMITH.]
Watch me Watch me, watch me do this Watch me, watch me, watch me do this Can't find me, up, up and away I give a fuck 'bout your wave My nigga, I surf every day Drownin' my soul in the basement Look, I ain't got much in the bank I got a lot I could say Tied up with goddesses, hey I hope you forgive my mistakes Watch me, watch me, watch me do this It's always been more than the music You riding waves On the back of my cruise ship Look, watch me, watch me Watch me do this Since 2012 I've been the coolest If you do not get it My nigga, you foolish Hey! That's what they yell When we come around Hey! This is your town? Well, we run it now Hey! How big is your army, a hundred thou? Hey! If you want the rain Then we comin' down Look, look, look This shit is out of here You got the heat I was not aware Me and Bebe out in Rotterdam Got a new man, damn, now I see him He on the floor in my coliseum I hope to God he don't sign a prenup See my ex on the street Like, "I never"