Diary of a Future President (2020) s02e02 Episode Script

1 [ELENA.]
Well, Diary, seventh grade wasn't exactly going according to plan.
First of all, everything changed.
Something called a summer reset.
Including the fact that my BFF had a new BF.
- Hi, Liam.
- Hi, Jada.
[ELENA.]
Apparently, I wasn't the only one navigating the choppy waters of change.
And it wasn't just school where things were different.
Sam is moving in.
Okay? [ELENA.]
But, Diary, the biggest change of plans happened after a situation with the morning announcements.
[STUDENTS LAUGHING.]
Well, then I guess I'm not a leader.
[ELENA.]
Diary, this year was off to a rough start.
So much for crushing seventh grade.
More like seventh grade was crushing me.
Hey, Patty Meltdown.
What's for lunch today? [ELENA.]
My Student Rep dream was dead, buried poorly in a shallow grave.
But I had Sasha.
Sweet Sasha.
Hi! Elena, did you hear that Skyler Zaxton's favorite vegetable is pumpkin? [LAUGHS.]
I didn't even know that was allowed.
He's such a rebel.
Handshake? [ELENA.]
She's my port in the storm, my light in the dark, my chocolate chip in an otherwise oatmeal cookie.
[SASHA GIGGLES.]
Claude.
Oh, I practiced the handshake with my uncle last night, and I think I finally have the middle part down.
You'll get there, Claudey.
You're so coordinated.
[ELENA.]
But, Diary, things were different now.
Our duo had become a trio.
I'm here for it ♪ Facing fears and chasing dreams ♪ Just winging it ♪ And I'm staying true to me ♪ Hello world I wonder who I'll be ♪ No matter what I do ♪ It's all about my journey ♪ Lo puedo lograr ♪ Of course I want Sam to move in, but it was so unlike me just springing it on the kids.
I listened to my heart.
Who do I think I am, Rose from Titanic? Look where she ended up.
Uh, in possession of a priceless jewel.
Living to be 101.
Being drawn by peak Leo.
Cami, focus.
You said it yourself.
You listened to your heart, so how could it go wrong? I know, but usually I agonize for days when it comes to decisions involving the kids.
I'm their mother.
I'm supposed to help them solve their problems, not give them problems.
Have you met a Latina mother? I'm trying to break the cycle.
I just hope my kids are okay with this decision.
Pretty cool Sam's moving in, huh? Yeah.
Now we can make night eggs, which rules.
[BOTH SPIT.]
Hey, Bobby, has one of your friends ever dated someone which rendered them completely unavailable to you? - You mean Liam? - What? No.
- Oh.
- Sasha and Claude are a thing now.
Suddenly, she has no time for me.
And since my dreams are dead, I kinda need her right now.
Why aren't you talking to Ma about your dead dreams? You're obsessed with her.
Tell Mami I dropped out of Student Rep when she's so proud of me? That the presidenta she thought she was raising is actually a the Spanish word for failure? 'Kay, fine, don't tell her.
Do you promise not to give away my secret? You have to promise, Bobby.
My teeth are clean.
Bye, Elena.
I promise.
How are you? Do you want breakfast? I love you.
You're being weird.
Your mother's worried that Sam moving in is going to completely destroy your life.
Can you even imagine the trauma of having someone around who makes you laugh almost as much as he makes your mom happy? Yeah, what will I do with this extra person around to give me rides places? Oh, you poor, poor kids.
Ha ha ha.
Remind me never to invite you for breakfast again, Cami.
Oh, come on.
I'm a delight.
Elena, I heard that you're running for Student Rep.
How's that going? It's great.
[CHUCKLES.]
Very exciting.
Yeah, well, it's going better than the tennis team.
That's for sure.
There were no spots for freshman.
Huh.
Everything I know about sports, I learned from the Air Bud franchise.
But I'm sure it's their loss.
Yeah, Bobby'll find something else.
Now, I know this is annoying, but now that you're in high school, we have to start thinking about college.
It's not enough to be well-rounded.
You have to be like an egg: well-rounded but with a point.
- Mom - And now that you don't have tennis, what else do you like that you can excel in? Maybe you and your friends can join a club.
What's Liam up to? - I already chose something! - You did? Yeah.
I joined a club.
It's, uh Oh, the one you told me about this morning? - Yeah.
- It's a really good club.
- It's, like, the best club.
- Yeah.
[CHUCKLING.]
Okay, what is it? Bowling club.
Bowling club.
Yeah, so psyched.
Love the shoes.
They're all slidey.
Strikes! You want to get a lot of those.
Pins are great.
Bowling club, huh? That's a club.
And colleges love a niche activity.
Rutgers enrolls a ton of underwater basket weavers.
I guess you're right.
Bowling? Good for you, Robertico.
[BOBBY SIGHS.]
[RASHMI.]
Elena.
I was excited to see that you accelerated the Student Rep sign-up process.
We already made pencils.
I look forward to being on the campaign trail together.
Oh, no, I I'm not running anymore.
Because of Patty Meltdown? Bummer.
It would've been nice to have a worthy opponent.
But I guess an easy one will be fun too! Vote for Rashmi.
[ELENA.]
Well, that was a bucket of salt on an already gaping wound.
But just like any superhero, Sasha knew just when to swoop in.
- Sasha, thank God you're here - My two favorite people! This is for you, Sasha.
It's fake because pollen makes my throat close up.
[GASPS.]
Thank you, Claude.
I got it to say break a leg at musical auditions today.
I mean, don't actually.
It's no picnic.
I've broken mine three times 'cause my bones are brittle.
Yeah, break a leg.
I didn't get you anything, but that's because our friendship isn't defined by things.
- What about your friendship bracelets? - What about them? Oh, my locker's this way.
Sasha, I'll miss you every moment we're apart.
And, Elena, bye.
[SASHA SIGHS.]
Isn't he amazing? He's I'm very happy for you.
He's so supportive about the musical, even though it means we can't hang out as much.
Rehearsals are every day after school for four hours.
[CHUCKLES.]
I hope I like whoever's in the cast, because I'm going to be spending all of my time with them.
[ELENA.]
Diary, if I joined Sasha's thing, it would become our thing.
I should try out for the musical! Oh, my goddess! Then I would be spending all of my time with you! - Huh, yeah! Just you and me.
- [SASHA CHUCKLES.]
And whoever else tries out, because they find a part for everyone.
In last year's production of Annies, they had 13 dogcatchers.
[SCOFFS.]
[BOTH.]
Whoosh.
[BOTH BLOW KISS, LAUGH.]
[GABI.]
Okay, turn, turn.
There you go.
Oh, turn Turn a little.
There you go.
[GRUNTS.]
Oh, Sam, did you need any help? - [GABI LAUGHS.]
- [SAM SCOFFS.]
Are you sure you're going to be all packed in the next few days? This one box took you a week.
Well, that's just because this is my first box of cornhole memorabilia.
Each item a memory.
Gabi you still have time to back out.
He's got more than one box of cornhole memorabilia.
My new digs.
We're doing it, Gab.
Oh, I know.
I'm so excited, and so are the kids, who, by the way, are thriving.
Mm-hmm.
Elena, a young leader.
Bobby, a young bowler.
- What? - Yeah, he finally found something to replace tennis.
The bowling club.
Colleges love a niche activity.
You know, bowling was my tenth birthday and my 32nd.
One of the teachers bowled in the Olympics.
He won the bronze.
After school, they convert the hallways into fully functioning bowling alleys.
They even have middle schoolers act as pin caddies.
Oh, no.
There's no bowling club.
- I think Bobby may have - Played us.
Big time.
My son lied to me.
So, I mean, when was the last time you actually used trigonometry? - Hey.
- I don't think that's right.
You guys wanna get food? I hear the truck is beta testing burger tots.
Half potato, half meat, all fried.
I wish I could, man.
Love a tot, but film club's having a before-sunset screening of Before Sunset.
And I gotta clean out the spit valve of my bassoon.
I thought bassoons had reeds, not spit valves.
Well, then what have I been cleaning, and why is it so wet? Liam, you're you're free, right? Actually, I've got environmental club.
- [LIAM CHUCKLES.]
- Why? [SCOFFS.]
Uh, technically, since we all live on Earth, we're all card-carrying members of the environment.
Well, I joined because my girlfriend's in it.
- Oh, nice.
Oh! - Yeah.
- Jada Collins-Frost? - [LAUGHS.]
Yeah.
- That's what's up, man.
- Thanks dude.
- Whoa, why didn't you tell us? - It just happened in fifth period.
I can't believe it's one week into freshman year and I know someone who has a girlfriend.
And you joined the same clubs, so you'll be spending [INHALES.]
so much time together.
Yeah.
Is it cool if she hangs out with us on Friday? Uh, doy.
She can come with us to try the new tots.
Yes! I have so many questions for her about what girls talk about in the bathroom.
Yeah.
Yeah, great.
That's what's up.
[PLAYING OFF-KEY.]
Oh, come on.
[GABI.]
Robertico! Enjoying your bowling club? Uh, yeah.
Just waiting for the pin caddies to, uh finish converting the hallways.
[ELENA.]
Four hours of guaranteed Sasha time per day? Oh, my God.
I'd forget all about Student Rep in no time.
Good afternoon, students, and welcome to musical auditions! You may applaud.
Oh.
[APPLAUSE.]
I had a challenging and, ultimately, liberating summer.
So from now on, you may address me as Ms.
Ortega.
[CHUCKLES.]
And since I had some time on my hands, I penned an original musical about our hometown entitled Glades of Glory.
The show will be narrated by the character Julia Tuttle, the only female founder of a major American city, Miami.
[SIGHS.]
Women are so strong.
Everyone will perform a monologue and song from the show.
- Here we go.
- [SASHA GIGGLES.]
[PIANO PLAYING.]
Miami Glades! ♪ Your trees grow thick With ripened fruit ♪ Miami Glades! ♪ Your strip malls burst with business too ♪ "Never heard of it? Well, gather round, for the" "tale of Miami Glades is a rich and storied one.
" "Let me tell you a few things about our fair suburb even Wikipedia doesn't know!" Miami Glades ♪ How did you get to be such a special place? ♪ Such a glorious space I've almost ♪ Forgotten Brad's face ♪ "Some people may say I nagged him.
But is it really nagging when you're just reminding the person to do something they said they would do but clearly forgot?" - Miami Gla ♪ - Glades! ♪ Swansby put you on the ♪ Map for sure ♪ [TOGETHER.]
Miami Glades! ♪ But women kept your heart so pure ♪ [PIANO STOPS.]
[GABI.]
I mean, Bobby's always been introverted, but he's never outright lied to my face before.
Or has he? Oh, God.
If it helps, I used to lie to my parents all the time as a teenager.
I still do.
Okay, I can tell by your face that this isn't helping.
[SIGHS.]
Maybe this move-in is a bad idea.
If Bobby's not ready, we can wait.
Sam only moved in one box.
Gabi, it's fine.
Bobby's just going through a lot right now.
What do you mean? What do you know? He just started high school, Gabi.
High school is a hot mess.
Hormones, crushes, Ms.
Ruiz and her impossible penmanship standards Not to mention a big change in the household.
Cami, what am I doing? Sam is not your problem.
But he may be a solution.
I like that part when you said solution.
Explain.
Maybe Sam could talk to Bobby, make sure that he's doing okay.
You're not alone anymore.
There's about to be another whole adult in the house.
Hey, check this out.
[BOTH.]
Sort of.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
[MS.
ORTEGA.]
Thank you all for your patience.
As you know, the school requires me to compromise my creative vision by giving everyone a role, so in no particular order other than importance, the role of Julia Tuttle will be played by Sasha Castillo.
- Oh, my God! I'm the lead.
- [MS.
ORTEGA CONTINUES.]
- Is this a dream? - Let's check.
Pinch, pinch, beep, beep.
Are you awake or you asleep? [GIGGLES.]
Ow! - Yay.
- It's real! I'm so proud of you.
And lastly, tree number two, Elena Cañero-Reed.
- Oh, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
- Actually, it's Patty Meltdown.
- [SASHA.]
Don't listen to them.
- Flip, zip it.
[ELENA.]
But hearing the nickname that encapsulated my failures didn't even bother me because I was about to have so much Sasha time.
Uh, Julia Tuttle and Henry Flagler, why don't you get up here Oh.
[CHUCKLES.]
so we can rehearse "Railroad to My Soul.
" Everyone else, hang tight for the next three hours.
Don't be discouraged if Bobby isn't forthcoming with information.
Just bond, have fun, and then text me a full report.
Gabi.
Fine.
Verbal report.
With Elena, if she's not okay, she'll tell me.
Bobby doesn't tell me anything, and now he lied.
I just wanna make sure he's okay.
- I'm on it.
- [TOILET FLUSHES.]
Okay.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
- Okay.
- You boys have fun.
Oh, we will.
Boys' night in on three.
One, two, three, boys' night in! Okay, we're gonna work on that.
- Okay, love you.
- Okay.
Love you.
Bye.
[SASHA.]
Careful now.
You don't want to become alligator food.
Thank you, Julia.
You're so young and beautiful and thriving.
You've got a whole life ahead of you.
I should know.
I'm older than dirt.
[ELENA.]
I thought the musical would be the perfect wayto spend time with Sasha, but guess what happens when one of you is the lead and one of you is a tree.
Not a lot, Diary.
So I said, "Who needs a husband when you have a project?" Forget Brad.
I am going to found the city of Miami.
Beautiful! [MOANS.]
I only have 14 or 15 notes.
But let's skip ahead to the top of act two.
For the remainder of the show, Julia will narrate from her citrus grove.
So, trees, get on up there.
Sasha, why don't you stand in between Adrienne and Patty Melt Sorry.
Elena.
Okay.
Great.
Now tree.
Yes.
Okay, townspeople for "Orange You Sorry for Breaking My Heart.
" Wanna braid my hair? Always.
[CLAUDE SNEEZES.]
I'd know that sneeze anywhere.
Bless you, Claude! [NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE.]
Attention, thespians.
Our citrus grove is expanding, which is the opposite of what happened in history.
Regardless, say hello to tree number two.
I'm tree number two.
Right, sorry.
Say hello to tree number three! [ALL.]
Hi.
What are you doing here? You're the lead.
I want to support you, and what better way than being in your supporting cast? I don't know, Claude.
It's a little late to be jumping into such a complicated role.
Okay, so I'm out of scripts, but the trees only have one line.
When the wind blows, say, "Whoosh!" Oh, Claude, this is so romantic.
Elena, isn't this romantic? I mean, you already had plenty of support, but Okay, townspeople, let's take it from the top, yes? And remember, pathos.
It's like none of you have ever had your heart broken in the parking lot of a Dairy Queen before.
- Honestly.
Let's go.
- Okay.
Dang! My Vote-for-Rashmi pencil keeps rolling away from me.
Hey, Patty Meltdown, can you grab it? Thank you.
Farewell, fish sauce.
Sayonara, salsa.
Ciao, chutney.
Dude, what are you doing? So, freshman year, huh? [CLICKS TONGUE.]
Yeah.
Lot of changes.
A lot of feelings.
I guess.
I remember ninth grade.
[SIGHS.]
My perm had relaxed but I had not.
What? Never mind.
Ooh, hey, can I have that change? It could buy a lot of burger tots.
Oh, I love a tot, but I actually need that for my laundry.
Wait, I guess I don't.
Your house has a washer-dryer.
I've been throwing change in there for years.
Crazy that now I just don't need it.
So, can I have it? Sure.
Of course.
Hey, can you throw these empty pizza boxes down the trash chute? - [COINS JINGLE.]
- Trash chute? Yeah, down the hall.
It's a little door in the wall.
You put your trash in it, and boom, it's gone forever.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Where does it go? - I don't know.
That's cool.
I know.
It's awesome.
Hmm.
I think I'm gonna miss this place.
[ELENA.]
Diary, I know theater is every man's medium, but why did this man have to join the play? All I wanted was a few hours after school with my best friend.
Was that too much to ask? This is so cool.
I feel like Dave Franco.
[CHUCKLES.]
Only handsomer.
[LAUGHS.]
Is there anything that you can't do? - Uh, eat a walnut.
[CHUCKLES.]
- [SASHA LAUGHS.]
Okay.
Sasha, front and center.
Let's run through "Why Can't Feminism Happen Already?" - [IMITATING HI-HAT.]
- Some would say I have it all, an orange grove and a family.
But they don't know what I really crave - is sweet equality.
- [PIANO PLAYING.]
Look at our girl go.
Our girl? - Whoo! - You don't just get to claim her.
Sasha and I have been BFFs since kindergarten, and you can't just sneeze your way in here and steal her from me when I need her most.
I never meant to steal Sasha.
Well, you did, okay? Seventh grade is tough enough already.
I need my best friend.
Hey, I get it.
I can go.
There was never supposed to be a tree number three anyway.
Why can't feminism happen already It's my greatest wish ♪ But it's a bummer because of my gender ♪ This desire will be dismissed ♪ [PIANO STOPS.]
[APPLAUSE.]
Thing about this dent in the molding was, I never really noticed it.
But if it wasn't there I think the whole room would've felt off.
Goodbye, dent.
[DOG BARKING.]
Hey, a dog barking.
Bet you won't miss that.
Wait for it.
- Quiet down, Luigi.
- [MAN IN DISTANCE.]
Quiet down, Luigi.
It's like clockwork.
Every day.
Ugh, I'm being ridiculous.
It's just an apartment.
No, I get it.
My friends said it's "just tennis," and they, like, all moved on.
Well, that sounds hard.
Yeah, it sucks.
Actually, it, like double sucks.
Sorry, you don't want to hear about all this.
No, no.
Listen, get it out.
No rules for BNI.
Boys' night in.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- I got a freezer full of Choco Tacos that I promised your mom wouldn't move in with me.
Sounds good.
So, I figured I can quiz you on your lines every day before school.
So that way, by the time we get to rehearsal, we're golden.
Then we can spend even more time together.
That sounds great.
Um, do you know why Claude left early? [CELL PHONE DINGS.]
Oh, no.
He quit the play.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
He said that the spotlights were too harsh on his skin.
His gentle, gentle skin.
[SIGHS.]
That's a believable reason.
But hey! That means we can spend some time together.
Just you and me.
Yeah.
I know I've been a little Claude crazy lately.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh, I hadn't even noticed.
Really? We've been sharing one hoodie all week.
Well, I kinda noticed.
But it's not like I want to share that hoodie.
That's too many bodies for one hoodie.
It's just We had seventh grade all planned out, and then Whoosh.
Hey! You've been practicing your line.
It sounds good.
And I know.
It all just happened so fast.
You have a boyfriend.
Oh, my God.
I know, right? [INHALES.]
And I was just so excited for the three of us to hang out.
You and Claude are the two most important people in my life.
Well, other than my mom and Skyler Zaxton.
[SIGHS.]
Oh, well.
I guess he's not doing the play.
[SIGHS.]
Stupid spotlight.
I just saw this year going a certain way, and now I feel like I have nothing.
You know, when I moved in here, I was a bit of a mess.
I know you see me as this cool, together guy.
[CLICKS TONGUE.]
Sure, let's go with that.
But back then, I was fresh out of a divorce.
I'd never lived alone.
I was eating nothing but Sambled eggs.
Couldn't even do a single pull-up.
It was rough.
[CHUCKLES.]
Thought you said you were gonna miss this place.
I am.
This apartment became my personal growth palace.
I picked myself up, figured out who I was, learned how to do one and a half pull-ups.
And then I met your mom.
It's gonna be hard to say goodbye, but I am so excited about what's on the other side.
Moving in with all of you.
Yeah.
I mean helps when you know what's on the other side.
But I didn't always.
Look at freshman year like your own personal growth palace, and just be open to whatever's on the other side.
Yeah.
Okay.
But I'm never saying the words "personal growth palace.
" - Self-care crib? - [CHUCKLES.]
No.
- Namaste nest? - Stop.
[SIGHS.]
So I asked the doctor, "How long was I actually dead for?" And she said, "Legally or medically?" Are you even listening to me? Yeah, yeah.
You're a ghost.
I just hope Bobby's having a good time.
- [CELL PHONE RINGS.]
- Ooh, it's Bobby.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
- Hi.
- Hey, uh, can I stay at Sam's tonight? Oh, yeah? So you're having fun? Yeah, I mean, we still have a lot of packing to do.
We got a little behind throwing stuff down the trash chute.
Plus, we're in the middle of our pull-up contest.
It's one to one.
New rule [PANTING.]
your feet can touch the ground.
- [BOBBY LAUGHS.]
- Oh, of course, Robertico.
I'm just so happy that you and Sam are having a good time.
Yeah, things are pretty good.
I love you.
Mmm, sounds like all that worry was worth it.
Hi, Claude.
Did Sasha buy my excuse? Spotlights are actually fine for my skin.
So is scented detergent, believe it or not.
Claude, I'm sorry.
Can you come back? We can't have the play without tree number three.
That's not true.
Yeah, Ms.
Ortega didn't even notice you were gone.
[SIGHS.]
I'm sorry I got mad you were spending so much time with Sasha.
That wasn't fair.
That's okay.
I know you've been having a tough time with all your dreams being dead and all.
Yes.
And usually, when I'm really sad, I turn to Sasha.
I get it.
I do the same thing with Wuffie.
My security blanket.
- Well, that's not really the same.
- Say no more.
When things get scary, which is often, as I'm allergic to both sunscreen and the sun, Wuffie's there to help me take my mind off my problems.
Again, very different.
He's my port in the storm, my light in the dark, my Chocolate chip in an otherwise oatmeal cookie? I've never tasted chocolate, but exactly.
[ELENA.]
Diary, I guess I was hiding from my problems instead of facing them.
Now, that was the one.
You know, sometimes it's okay to rely on other people.
Second place.
[STUDENTS CHATTERING.]
But it's also important to be able to rely on yourself.
Because, Diary, that's how you move forward.
Seventh grade did not start out exactly how I thought it would, but maybe that wasn't the end of the world.
So what if my plans are out the window? Maybe surprises were what this year was all about.
[LAUGHS.]
For dinner? Sam, just because you call them night eggs, doesn't mean they're not breakfast.
[LAUGHS.]
Yes, I'm picking Elena up right now.
- [LAUGHING, CHATTERING.]
- [ELENA.]
Yeah.
Seventh grade seems to suit her.
Sam, hold on a sec.
Has Elena mentioned anything about a new nickname, or about not running for Student Rep, or [LAUGHING, CHATTERING.]
[SIGHS.]
anything at all? [PIANO PLAYING.]
[SASHA.]
Whoo! Ha! Why can't feminism happen already? ♪ It's my greatest wish ♪ But it's a bummer because of my gender ♪ This desire will be dismissed ♪