Doogie Kamealoha, M.D. (2021) s02e02 Episode Script

Previously on Doogie Kamealoha M.D
Last one in's a rotten egg!
How's long-distance going?
It's gonna take a lot more than
5,071 miles to keep us apart.
So I just got sponsored by Nuked!
So do you wanna do
our date another time?
Yeah, Blake's throwing this impromptu
party together for me to celebrate.
Your brother is the
perfect man. I'm a catch!
One day he'll realize that and we'll
spend the rest of our lives together.
He doesn't deserve you.
Good day, mates!
This is your buddy, Blake?
Last one in's a rotten egg!
What the
And then I found out that
Walter's surf friend Blake
is an actual human woman
that looks like this.
Yup, you and Walter are
done. Relationship over.
Bye!
Steph, okay, no, this isn't
one of those stupid '80s movies
my mom's always trying
to get me to watch, okay?
Girls don't necessarily have to
be in competition with each other.
Unless that girl looks like Blake.
Hey!
I'm walkin' here!
My grandma Shirley's from Manhattan.
Jerk.
At least if you and Walter
break up because of Blake,
we can be single together.
Kai and I kissed months ago, and
we still haven't talked about it.
- Not even at the Shave Ice truck?
- No.
I only got that job to push things
along, but it's gotten me nowhere.
I just need a moment alone with him.
It's just tough because
his dad is always around.
You mean my dad?
Sorry, it's just weird talking
about my brother like that.
I feel you.
But I can't be in limbo with my
nameless coworker forever.
I still know who you're talking about.
But back to Walter and his wildly
hot not-a-man friend, Blake.
Things have just been rocky
since he got back from Australia.
Well, I'm sure everything will go back
to normal now that he's back at home,
living with his aunties.
Sharing a bathroom with 16
middle-aged women keeps you humble.
Woo!
Hey.
Sorry I'm late. But guess what?
Now that I'm sponsored by Nuked,
they're moving me and my surf
buddies into their official house.
It's like this insane three-story
mansion on the North Shore.
- Bye-bye, aunties.
- Oh, my God?
More changes.
Yay!
Hey, Dad, do you
mind if I borrow this?
I'm making bulgogi for
Walter as a housewarming present,
using your recipe and everything.
Just make sure you get that
back. That's my good Tupperware.
Can't believe Walter
gets to live at the Nuked House.
I'm so excited to party there.
It's my senior
year. It's time to go hard.
- Hm.
- Like in a schoolular sense.
Well, your partying's
gonna have to wait.
I want us all to go
up to the ranch this weekend.
Yeah, I don't know about a
trip to the ranch right now.
I am up to my neck
in very important work.
Grandma is downsizing, and she
just sent her Christmas village.
The lighthouse tower
and Mr. Timbley's Bookshop
got a little banged up
on their way from Pennsylvania.
So look what I just bought. A glue gun.
Talk about going hard.
This glue is about
to go hard when it cools
between two items.
You get it?
You know, how glue works.
Mom! You really should
just go down to the ranch.
I mean, take your weird little
glue weapon and make it a whole weekend.
Yeah, nice try, but I'm not
leaving you at the house alone.
One time you threw a
party while I was at Costco.
All right, I'm off to work, okay? Bye.
- I'll go to the ranch, Dad.
- There's the spirit!
I've been working
on my plans for the land.
An amusement park called Brian Patrick
Enterprises Presents: BrianPatrickLand.
Of course, once the park's a hit,
I'll expand to film,
VR, a 24-hour news network.
Then space tourism
and a line of pizza bagels.
Space tourism, then pizza bagels?
But the dream starts with
getting some specs for my contractors.
Brian Patrick, you know that
there's already
contractors at the ranch.
The Menehune!
Looks like we're gonna
have to get the book!
No.
Not the book.
He loves this.
The Legend of the
Menehune by Brian Keaulana.
"Hawaiian legend has it
that the Menehune are a race
of people tinier than most.
Rarely seen by human eyes,
the Menehune watch from afar the
goodness of the Hawaiian people.
Master builders and crafts people.
The Menehune work in the cover of night.
To give back to those who give."
If we go up to the ranch,
we can look for the Menehune.
Dad.
There's only one tiny person who
I'm concerned about right now,
and that's me.
Trying to figure out if you
could charge to use the bathroom
based on what you do in there.
Oh.
Wait, so you guys are
thinking about living together?
Oh, medical school debt is real.
We've already started
looking at apartments.
Have you ever seen House
Hunters set in Hawaii,
and at first, it all
looks really beautiful,
and then you find out everything
costs a billion dollars
and also the couple should get divorced?
Right now, we're deciding between
two apartments in our price range.
A one bedroom that's super
nice and a two bedroom, no bath.
- You're gonna share a room?
- Yeah!
We just went to HomeWorld and
asked about adult bunk beds.
And guess what we found out?
- That's not a thing.
- Not a thing.
Right.
I will be right back.
Well, well, well.
If it isn't my friend, the dirt biker.
Your daredevil ways finally
caught up to you, huh?
What are you here for?
Concussion? ACL tear?
Nope. Cancer.
Dude, it's not funny
to joke about cancer.
Let's see why you're actually here.
Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
- I thought
- Because of my shampoo commercial hair?
Yeah, no, it's just
leukemia is back again.
No, I meant because of how you
were riding your bike earlier, I
Hey, I get it. You are not
the first person to think
that my cancer is a dirt bike injury.
A couple of years ago, my leg
just wouldn't stop hurting,
and I thought it was because I
was messing around on some ramp
that me and my buddy made out of
a swing set in his yard, but nope.
Acute lymphoblastic leukemia.
And I have been in and out
of hospitals ever since, so.
Doctor, can I ask you a question?
Yes, of course.
Oh, okay, um
What is the treatment for when you
put your own foot in your mouth?
I deserve that.
I'm Dr. Kamealoha by the way.
I figured it was you.
You know, I go to your old
high school, Liliuokalani High.
Occasionally.
I'm Nico, but you saw that in my chart.
You know, with the chemo and the cancer.
- It's nice to officially meet you, Nico.
- Yeah.
We have a fantastic oncology department,
and I'm just so sorry we
got off on the wrong foot.
I mean, you know what I mean.
Wow you should see
your face right now.
You know, maybe you should
check into this hospital.
If you need tips, I am very, very
friendly with registration,
so I got you.
Hm.
Hey!
Hey! Happy move-in day.
I brought you some bulgogi.
- My dad's recipe. Your favorite.
- Oh!
Thank you, but I'm actually
not eating meat right now.
The team's going vegan for training.
Oh, okay. Well, I will
keep this as a car snack.
You never know what
might happen on the H-3.
I can't wait for you
guys to meet the team.
This is Ty, Adam
Sonny, and Blake's
running around somewhere.
Oh, I bet she is.
Yo, we had the most amazing time
with your boy Walter in Australia.
Oh, good. I'm so glad.
Remember when we went cliff-jumping
at Blairgowrie Jumping Rock
- outside Melbourne?
- Yeah.
Oh, remember our Switch
Your Clothes party?
Remember when we got
briefly lost at sea?
Lost at sea?
That sounds like a crazy
story. I would love to hear it.
Remember holding your phone out like
Authorities! Authorities!
You called the authorities
there, the boat police.
- Oh, mega grommage, bro!
- Super stokage.
I guess we should've done Surf
Hottie Duolingo on the way over here.
Yeah.
So, uh, where is your
room? I'll help you unpack.
Oh, thanks.
It's upstairs.
Oh, guess what.
I'm rooming with Blake.
Mega grommage!
Girl, I know it's not the '80s, but if
you were ever to be jealous of Blake,
now might be the time to do it.
I know, that one's not even,
like, legally a swimsuit.
Sorry, I couldn't help but overhear
your shockingly loud American voice.
Well, her grandma Shirley's
from Manhattan, so
Ha.
Lahela, I'm going to tell you
something I would want to hear
if my boyfriend was rooming
with some random girl.
I'm not into Walter like that.
Aw.
- I wasn't worried.
- I was.
I'm Steph.
I'm Blake, nice to meet you.
Walt is basically my brother now.
The team became like
a family in Australia.
So many wild nights and parties.
One time we even got lost at sea.
Yeah, I heard about that.
Kind of.
I love that Walter has
a girlfriend like you.
A doctor who cares about
more than just having fun?
We're all gross little sand crabs.
But you're not a partier at all
and from what Walter tells
me, you're more like a parent.
Uh No, that's not true.
I am wild.
Sometimes I send prescriptions
straight to the pharmacy myself
instead of pending them for
an attending to sign off on.
Ha! Well, I'm gonna go
grab some more of my stuff,
but, uh, feel free to
put away my formal wear.
I'm fun.
I I'm totally fun. Uh
And like all fun people I'm gonna
work really, really hard to prove it
and then rub it in everyone's faces.
What are you doing?
- It's cute, right?
- Take it off!
In a fun way.
- Hey, Mom.
- Hey.
I've been thinking.
You know, you have been working so hard.
A night at the ranch
could help rejuvenate you.
So I threw together this fun little
go-bag so you can just, like, go.
Get out, girl.
I got your hot glue gun and
Mr. Wimbledon's bookstore and
It's Timbley's Bookshop.
Oh, of course, it is.
And you can go to town on it with
that hot glue gun at the ranch,
and I'll keep an eye on Kai.
A night at the ranch does sound
relaxing, and I would feel so much better
knowing you are here,
holding down the fort.
- Well, fort held.
- Oh, great!
I'll go tell Brian
Patrick to start packing.
The kid always brings, like,
30 stuffies and a razor.
- Well, have fun!
- Thanks!
Yo. What's going on?
We are having a party at the house.
What?
I've been waiting for this moment
since you graduated
from diapers to Pull-Ups.
- Six months before you did.
- Um-hm.
- I'm inviting the whole senior class.
- Whoa!
No, I don't have enough roles for that.
Rolls?
Like hot dogs? We having a Q?
No. Roles, like parts, because we
are throwing a Murder Mystery Party.
But what theme?
Masquerade Ball Murder Mystery Party?
Old West Murder Mystery Party?
Gangsters and Molls
Murder Mystery Party?
Stop saying words in front of "party."
Okay, trust me, this Murder
Mystery Party is going to be killer.
See, I'm fun!
So do you want to be at
the flapper's date or
the dandy archeologist?
BrianPatrickLand will celebrate all things
fun and also all things Brian Patrick.
So, the theme park is
all the things you like?
Or the theme park is
about you as a person?
I would say both.
Can't say we didn't raise
kids with healthy egos.
Hm.
And all this land over here?
Parking.
Black top. As far as the eye can see.
Eh Brian Patrick.
It's about stewardship of
the land, not ownership.
We ask permission
before we give permits.
We ask the trees to guide us.
- We ask the stars
- Okay, okay.
Yo, stars.
Can I build a parking lot over there?
Oh, 100 percent.
Lahela!
If you ever need a DocuSign tutorial,
then just let us know because
we just signed a lease, baby.
- Oh, yay!
- We went for the nicer one bedroom
because who wants to do an 18-hour shift
and then take a shower in the kitchen?
Not Chucky, not Noe-Noe.
Our new bunk bed isn't
coming in for a while,
so we're both sleeping
on Charles's old bed.
She is such a cover hog.
What? I am not.
You just run hot and kick them off.
You're like a man-shaped crock pot.
Yeah, well, your feet are so cold,
they could have taken down the Titanic.
Okay, well, as much as
I would love to stay here
and check Charles's vitals
and get to the bottom of this,
I actually have a patient to see.
- But congrats, guys.
- Thanks.
Thanks.
- There's nothing wrong with me.
- Oh, my gosh.
There's something wrong with me.
I'm telling you, it's clogged.
Okay, well, it is my
job and legal requirement
to verify that claim, so.
But you're right.
Your PICC is backed up, so
I'm just going to flush it out.
Is that a 10 cc normal saline syringe?
Yes, it is. Why?
Okay, well, I wouldn't use that.
I would use a 3 cc
normal saline syringe.
Well, that is not part of the protocol.
Okay, well, then your protocol
doesn't understand physics.
It's Pascal's principle, all right?
A smaller volume syringe
exerts greater pressure or force
on the plunger than a larger syringe.
Aren't you the child genius?
Yes, and I'm also your doctor,
so I will be using the 10 cc.
Okay, you're wasting both of our
time because I'm going to need a TPA.
And I'm sure the hospital would
love you spending an extra 7k
on something just for kicks.
Isn't your mom the new Chief of Staff?
Fine, I will use the 3 cc.
Hm.
Okay. Maybe you do know
what you're talking about.
Yeah, I would hope
so. I've spent, like
three Christmases in hospitals,
a couple of birthdays,
and I have hung out with more
volunteers dressed up as Spider-Man
than actual children.
Yeah, I've spent a few Christmases
and birthdays here as well.
Yeah, but you choose to spend them here.
I did not choose to
grow up in a hospital.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
What's wrong with you anyway?
Like, shouldn't you be out with
your friends doing crazy things?
Like regular stuff, like, I
don't know, jamming nine people
- in the back of a Dodge Neon?
- Hmm.
I'm actually having a party tonight.
You? A party?
- Yup.
- Really?
It's murder mystery themed.
Oh, God.
What?
Okay, if you are reading directions out
loud at any point,
then it's not a party.
Better or worse if the
directions are distributed
via little laminated cards?
Are you be Worse.
Much, much worse.
- That's what I thought.
- Hm.
You know you're my favorite
Forget a murder mystery.
New plan, we're throwing a rager.
Oh, hell yeah!
Nuked is terrible.
I like it.
- Cheers!
- Woo!
Woo!
You look amazing.
You look amazing!
You know how I was just saying that
I needed to find the right moment
to talk to Kai?
Well, this party is that moment.
I'm gonna hit the dance floor,
bust out my moves I've been
perfecting with the Royals.
And then once I have his attention, bam!
I ask him
"What's up?"
Great.
Good for you.
Thank you for this opportunity to
bring me closer to your brother.
That's not
Yeah, okay.
- I got to go.
- Okay, yeah.
Good luck.
Oh, dude, we have to surf Burgerworld.
It's one of the longest
waves in the Mentawais.
Yes.
Yes.
My dad calls the deep freezer
in the garage Burger World,
if you guys want to check that out.
So, are you guys having fun?
- Yeah.
- Sure.
No, no, this is like an
amazing party, Lahela.
But speaking of your dad, are you
sure your parents are cool with this?
You mean my boss and her
friend, the shave ice guy?
Who cares what they think?
- You usually do.
- Yeah!
Woo!
Aw. It's almost like we're
back in Australia again.
Or maybe lost in the
middle of the ocean.
Authorities! Authorities!
- Yeah, we get it I was scared.
- It's funny.
Okay, I don't know about
the authorities, but
But
Did anyone in Australia ever do this?
Wait until you see what I'm gonna do.
What are you doing?
Being fun.
Ta-da.
She's crazy.
Woo!
What were you thinking?
You're crazy!
The boy may act like the
next roller coaster tycoon,
but I just had to make
sure Brian Patrick
was breathing under all his stuffies.
Thank you. Oh.
Sometimes it makes me sad
he's such a little businessman.
He doesn't have a
connection to the land.
Yeah.
We used to run all
over the ranch together,
looking for the little
structures the Menehune built.
But now he doesn't even believe.
I just wish there was a way to
make him see the magic again.
Oh.
I have an idea.
Follow me.
Did you know that Australian
farms produce 93 percent
of the total volume of
food consumed in Australia?
Oh, I thought Walter said
you weren't the smart brother.
Yeah!
- Sonny! No!
- Yeah!
Look at me!
- Woo!
- Okay, get down!
That is way too high. Get down!
Yeah, baby!
I should have known
this was gonna happen.
Any time someone does something
crazy, Sonny has to go even bigger.
We had to lie and tell him
there was only one Jackass movie.
Sonny, stop!
Nuked! Nuked! Nuked!
Please, just get down.
Nuked! Nuked! Nuked!
- Are you seeing this?
- Come on, boys!
Yes, but are you seeing me?
Dude, we kissed.
We hang out all the time.
I fully helped you
pick tomatoes last week.
Can't you just tell me
what's going on between us?
Uh
Say something!
I'm done.
I'm too good for this.
Why am I wasting my youth, my
beauty, my endless Spice Girls trivia,
my killer dance moves on a guy who
will clearly never appreciate me?
Steph out.
Nuked! Nuked! Nuked! Nuked! Nuked!
Yeah!
Please, just get down!
Yeah! Yeah!
- How about this one? Authorities.
- Sonny! Stop!
Oh!
My arm!
I'm gonna lose my sponsorship.
Okay, come on. Let's
get you out of here.
Come on.
Luckily, it was just
a dislocated shoulder.
So you'll be in a sling for three weeks
and then you should have
full range of motion.
So I'm gonna be able to
finish the surf season?
Yeah, as long as
everything heals
properly and you stay
out of my palm tree.
I'm just gonna get started
on your discharge paperwork.
Thank you, Lahela, for taking
such amazing care of our friend.
Yeah.
I don't know what we would
have done without you there.
We are so lucky to know someone who
isn't just another Nuked-chugging,
hard-partying, wave chaser.
Yeah.
Thank God you're nothing like us, right?
Well, it's still early.
Are you guys hungry? We could
get some cheese fries at Zippy's?
We're all vegans, remember?
Oh, right.
Uh, the onion rings are vegan.
You know, it's, it's
been an insane night.
I think we're all just
going to head back
to the surf house, rest up for training.
Okay, yeah.
Another one for the books, Sonny boy.
Just legendary.
What are we gonna do with you?
Break my other arm?
What?
Wanna come mess with my PICC line again?
Maybe clean it out with a boba straw.
Wait, aren't you supposed to
be throwing a party tonight?
Yeah, I did, and then somebody got hurt.
So now I'm back here.
Oh, damn.
There was a real murder at
the murder mystery party?
No, I actually threw a party-party.
When you said that I chose to
spend my teen years in a hospital,
you kind of got in my head.
Wait, what?
You actually listened to me?
No doctor ever pays attention to me.
They usually just tune me out
because I'm just some sick kid.
Well, I listened, and you were right
Ah I can buy all
the Nuked in the world,
I can even jump off a
roof, but I'm not fun.
Hey, I get it. I mean, that's
how I feel all the time. Zero fun.
I mean, unless you
consider fun being hooked up
to a bunch of tubes all the time, but
it just makes me feel crazy, you know?
It makes me go crazy.
That is why you were going
so fast on your dirt bike.
Yeah. 'Cause I never know when
it's gonna be my last time
having fun.
I have been a cancer
kid for a long time.
And if you're feeling weird socially
because you're stuck in this
hospital all the time like I am,
you should say something.
We do not live normal lives, so you
should tell people how you're feeling.
Thanks, Nico.
Okay, can we please revisit this
whole jumping off the roof thing?
Like, I need to hear every detail.
Please tell me you shouted
something badass when you jumped off.
Hmm.
Mom and Dad, it's been
nice yukking it up with you,
but I really need
these specs if I'm
going to make the
2028 bagel launch.
What the
Look at him.
Okay, play it cool, play it cool.
Wait, there's no way you two could
pull off this structural engineering.
Maybe the Menehune are real.
You believe!
Yeah, I guess I'll find another spot
for Brian Patrick Enterprises
Presents: BrianPatrickLand.
Great job finishing these.
The village you did was
fine, but this is amazing!
I mean, when did you do this?
I was up before you.
Benny, I didn't finish it.
I thought you finished it.
Well, looks like the Menehune
recognized our goodness.
- So you finished it, right? You did.
- No.
Yes, it's nice to be home.
- Okie dokie.
- Hm.
Kai!
Where did all those cans come from?
Did you throw a party?
Uh
Uh, no, no.
It was me.
- You threw a party?
- But
That's so
teenager-y.
Well, you know, to be fair,
it wasn't a real party.
Walter just got sponsored by Nuked,
and so Steph and I had a
little group over to celebrate.
Because, you know, you gotta celebrate
every win, like Dad always says.
I do say that.
And I guess people got a little carried
away with all the free energy drinks.
Well, I'm glad you had a good time.
Just throw that.
Clean this up.
Why did I just have
to "Kai" Mom and Dad?
Gaslighting our parents
is your favorite art form.
What is wrong with you?
I don't know.
Has anyone ever said anything to you
that just totally rocked your world
and you can't stop thinking about it?
Awesome.
Hey, thanks for taking a walk with me.
Oh, of course.
The wind was kind of intense so we ended
up knocking off practice a little early.
Walter
are we drifting apart?
What? No.
It's just You changed
so much in Australia.
I've been working, you
know, like always, but you
did all these exciting things.
But, I mean, it feels like
you changed a lot, too.
You're the one that
jumped off that roof.
True.
And I expect those stunts from
Sonny or Blake, but my girlfriend?
I like hearing you say
"girlfriend." Feels so normal.
But a lot of things in
my life aren't normal.
Like spending my teen
years in a hospital.
Sometimes I worry that I'm not fun.
No way. You're the most fun.
Really?
Yeah.
You make walking down a beach feel like
I'm riding the biggest
wave in the world.
Listen, neither of us have
normal kid jobs right now,
but we still love each other.
That's all that matters, right?
Right.
I love you, Lahela.
I love you, too.
Come here.
The truth is, deep down,
sometimes I feel really insecure
and different than everyone else.
But you don't have to
change yourself to fit in.
You just have to be
open about who you are
and the right people will notice.
- You ready, mate?
- Yeah.
We hitting the beach or what?
I brought you girls some bikinis.
These are just strings.
Are we supposed to knit them ourselves?
Five, six. A one, two, three
Wait, wait, wait, no, no, no!
Okay, okay, okay.
Five, six, seven, eight,
one, two, three, four.
Again!
One, two, three, four.
Mom.