Dudes (2023) s02e02 Episode Script

1
No!
Girl, now!
What's wrong with guys?
What's wrong with guys, Marci?
I mean, they switch women
the same way we switch shoes.
Well, duh! Because having new ass
is yummy, it's normal.
Shut up!
The new chick of his
wasn't even anything special!
Don't be so bitter.
-Besides, you slept with the gringo.
-Andrew? That doesn't count
because I was gonna marry Andrew
because Julián and I
were barely just dating
and in case you forgot,
he just pretty much sent me to hell,
that doesn't count, it's different.
Antonia, he's not serious about her,
it's not her lover,
you're not a family, there's no kids.
Besides, you gotta give him points
for fessing up to you.
No way. Look, you know what?
The problem is me,
I have to change my strategy
or I'll keep ending up
with dudes like that.
What does it mean? No, I don't like it.
I'm gonna turn bad, Marci.
Antonia, you idiot!
Even you don't believe that,
you wouldn't know
where to start to try to turn bad.
-Watch me, baby.
-Oh!
What?
You like it or something?
Do I like what?
What are you talking about?
What's your problem, weirdo?
Careful with what you say.
If I remember correctly,
the one who launched himself
at me was you.
I do remember, yes.
Do you know something, Santi?
A closeted gay is tacky these days.
DUDES
"EXCLUSIVITY AND INFIDELITY"
I don't think I'm gonna go to work today.
-Let's stay here all day, please.
-No, not all day.
-There's things to do.
-Yes, all day.
Lucas!
-Hide.
-Where?
-Down there, down there, down there.
-No, how am I gonna do that?
-Or get under the bed!
-No, Ricardo.
No, then come with me. Let's tell him now,
-let's tell him now.
-No, Ricardo, no, no, no.
Get under, get under.
Coming!
Disgusting.
What?
Why do you have the door locked?
Um.
Uh, you with another one
of your girlfriends or something?
No.
No, no, no way, no, it's just that
the next-door neighbor
has a copy of the key because,
well, just in case, you know?
And sometimes, when he comes home drunk,
he comes in here
and so well, I decided to sleep
with the door locked.
-Uh-huh.
-Uh-huh.
-That's random.
-That's random, yeah. Well, bye.
Bye. I'll see you soon.
-Hey.
-Huh?
For the snacks, the bus is almost here.
The snacks, right, yes.
Yes, yes. Bye, yeah.
I have soccer today.
-Oh, today's soccer? Yeah.
-Uh-huh.
Here you are, here you are.
And I also have to make some photocopies.
-People still do photocopies?
-Uh-huh.
That's crazy. Bye.
Hey, aren't you a bit old
to look like a school desk?
Well, yeah, but it's too late now.
Take it as if it were the caipirinhas,
and that's it.
Oh, of course!
Duh, oh, my poor beautiful baby,
every time he has a drink,
he's gonna do the same thing!
Of course not! Are you nuts?
And I really like this one.
What a drag, such a grandma!
Come on, stop being annoying,
stop, stop, stop.
Look, look, look, with this
I will be ready to go out
on the hunt for a man,
not some man child, no.
A fully-fledged grown man
who has tried everything,
who knows what he wants
and who has a little bit of self-control.
That's it. They exist, Antonia,
they exist. You'll see.
You gave him like two weeks' worth.
Also, Lucas hasn't gone to soccer
since third grade,
and he's never seen
a copy machine in his life.
Hey, let's go have breakfast.
I don't know, I don't think so.
Besides, well, I'm too old
to play hide and seek, seriously.
No, but who has to hide?
No, let's at least go get
some coffee, right?
I have a lot of things to do today,
but if you want, let's talk later and see?
What do you think?
-Yeah?
-Okay.
Okay. I'm gonna get ready.
Why did you tell her?
She didn't even ask you, Julián.
I had to do it, I don't like telling lies.
It's like a huge snowball and it keeps
growing and growing, you know?
Look, I know and I'm sure
that there will come a time
when she will realize that I'm a good guy
who's not lying to her,
-she thinks that I'm
-Who are you kidding?
You slept with another woman in Brazil.
You're not doing well, bud.
319, 865, 546, 319.
1200, is it?
-You good?
-Yes.
-Like approx?
Yes, yeah, yeah,
the thing is I got scared by it,
it's like a prediction
for the future, you know?
Uh-huh!
-And this one here?
-Yeah.
Honey, if you want to go sample
new horizons for your life,
I'll support you.
And remember that you can always
go back to your man.
-Julián's not my man!
-Man!
Hey, hey, hey!
If you go hunting, you can't walk out
on the street all insecure,
no, ma'am, come back here.
Let's see, posture, posture,
that's it, chest out.
Now, let's walk together.
Come on, one, two, three, that's it.
Lift your ass up.
That's it, here, that's it.
Let's go down.
That hair, hair, hair, that's it.
Your mouth. There we go, there we go.
That's enough, enough.
Come.
What's wrong with this thing?
This thing is so slow.
Were you guys printing the report too?
Yep. And I changed the paper.
We were out. So I put more in.
What'd you say?
That I look more handsome
with my mouth shut?
No one's gonna see us here.
-Who cares anyway?
-I thought you cared.
Hey, you sent me
the email without the attachment,
can you send it to me again, please?
Thank you.
What world do these people live in?
Never a piss without a fart.
Careful.
You gonna leave me like this?
How? All hot and with blue balls?
Women don't get blue balls.
No?
Bye.
What are you doing
in the ladies' bathroom?
This is the men's bathroom, Mafe.
I'm in outer space
with that Brazilians situation.
Right, the Brazilians.
Yeah, sure.
Well, the situation's the following.
ANTONIA ONLINE
From a financial point of view,
it's a fucking crazy offer.
Just like the Brazilians said,
each person's shares will end up
being worth close to a million dollars.
And not to mention Pretty Boy's shares
that makes us feel
like our peckers are this small.
Hey, Pretty Boy.
Are you listening?
There's a part in the contract
where it says you have a small pecker.
Stupid.
From an operational point of view,
if it's like Julián explained,
the lawyers confirmed that if we sign,
these Brazilians will be left
with class A shares.
In other words, we'll be left
under the same exact terms.
If we have to vote, we're even,
and that leaves us exposed.
ANTONIA OFFLINE
So if there's any difference,
we'd have a problem.
Yeah, but that's normal.
It's just a lot of money
and it's normal for these guys
to piss and mark their territory, right?
And since there's no piss
without a fart
Am I right, Richie?
What?
Nothing. Well, my dude,
you're the one in charge,
so it's no use
if we all want to sign and you don't.
ANTONIA OFFLINE
What's up!
What, what was it, what?
What did he say, man?
-Are you really serious, brother?
-Pay attention.
Get serious, we're working here, brother.
-What's your deal?
-I mean,
we read the fucking contract again
because you wanted to
and everyone explained
how they see the situation
and you're thinking about some other shit.
Juli, seriously,
we're gathered here
so you can decide what you want to do.
We doing this or not?
And we all feel like this is the offer
we've been waiting for
since the company launched, brother.
My bad, my bad, I hate to do this, guys,
I'm going to the office
for just two minutes.
What happened
to "Drama Quintana" this time?
Well, the numbers are good,
and it could be done.
But?
You're focusing too much
on the social component
and you're not convincing
any members of the board by doing that.
In fact, quite the opposite.
Juan, without this context,
those numbers mean nothing.
Yeah. I know.
I understand you, believe me.
But look, if you present this
to them like this,
they'll reject it right away.
I seriously think
there's ways of saying things
without really saying things.
You get me?
Julián, if you don't want to sign,
we all support you.
Thank you.
Hey, guys.
I'm gonna tell you this
because I don't want to talk
about the same shit again, okay?
I banged Lina
and Antonia told me to fuck off.
Wow, I fucking knew it, now pay up.
I feel very proud.
Come on.
-I'm really sorry, dude.
-But no, wait, let's see.
Lina is a delicacy,
Antonia should understand,
and if she doesn't understand,
good luck to her.
-You weren't together anyway.
-No, no, no.
Clearly the issue isn't
if they were together or not,
but the fact that to her,
they were exclusive, and then Juli
No, hold on, hold on.
I've never cheated in my life,
I've never done that.
And you're absolutely right,
I spoke to her,
and I told her that we weren't exclusive,
that we had nothing concrete.
No, no, but wait, hold on,
so just because you didn't write to her
on a piece of paper, "Yes or no,
do you want to be my girlfriend?",
she doesn't have the right to feel bad
because you slept with someone else?
No, no, no, no, no. I'm with Julián,
if there's no exclusivity, anything goes.
No, I don't know, I think that if you're
taking it slow and there's feelings,
there's some kind of commitment there,
even if it's implied.
He's so cute, adorable.
Don't worry about it,
the adults here are talking it out, buddy.
I think a lot depends
on where the situation is, right?
Because he technically
didn't cheat on her, my guys!
Alright, alright, alright.
Sit down for a second, Juli.
I'm gonna put it like this.
You guys are going out with a woman.
Everything is going well,
you admit you like each other,
things are pretty solid,
but obviously the woman tells you,
"Let's go slowly
because I want to do things right."
And, suddenly, she tells you that
she slept with another man on vacation.
Not a big deal?
Oh, well!
It hurts way more when a woman does it.
Yeah, no.
Hey, so what are you gonna do?
You gonna let her go just like that?
Juli, you have to do something big.
Women like big, romantic,
memorable gestures.
Oh, no, no, no, the baby
forgot to tell you a small little detail.
She didn't know,
she also didn't ask him,
and he decided to tell her
to look like a gentleman.
-You can't be that stupid.
-No, no, no.
No, no, Julián,
I'm gonna tell you something.
You're just as fucking stupid
as you are good looking, for real.
Forgive me, but you deserve it, my man.
No, Juli, Juli.
Seriously?
You're so stupid!
Jesus, I'd love to support you,
man, but damn.
I mean, I do get
what you were trying to do there, but
you're a moron.
Thanks.
Hey, I've been thinking all day
and I think I have a solid plan now.
If Lucas gets picked up
by the bus at 6:40,
we could see each other
from 7:00 to 8:00 every day.
No, it's better
to leave things as they are.
That was just
the booze talking, that's it.
You know what they say,
"If it happens once, it may happen again.
But if it happens two times,
it will definitely continue to happen."
What book is that? 'The Power of Now'?
Richie, that train
already left the station.
Why would we complicate our lives?
And Lucas's.
I know.
But last night was so amazing.
And it was very special for me.
Listen to this saying, pay attention.
"WHEN A DOOR CLOSES IN LIFE,
A WINDOW OPENS." OSHO.
"When a door closes in life,
a window opens."
-Osho.
-Osho. You see?
Osho said it,
we gotta listen to him. Right?
Thank you.
Look, me, María Fernanda,
wouldn't have said anything to her.
-Thanks, thanks.
-I mean, we're not dating,
she hasn't asked me.
So, if no one finds out,
it's like it never happened.
Look, the lady here
turned out to be very clever.
All that only means that María Fernanda
has many secrets to tell.
Excuse me? I'm an open book,
I don't owe anything to anyone.
But I know
you do have something to tell me.
Me?
You like Santiago.
Let's see.
Have you ever played for the other team?
Once in Berlin, a party,
a kiss, does it count?
Exactly! That's what's happening
to Santi-Santi
and you don't know
the pleasure that it gives me
to see a confused straight man.
-Poor little thing.
-But wait, hold on.
Santi
-He's
-Hold on! Do you know what's going on?
That I have the gay power
and all those who try Marcel,
they don't go back.
Santiago is gay?
No, no, I don't know!
I mean,
what kinda stupid question is that?
-Okay, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to
-Mafe, I have no idea.
No, besides no,
he's a macho man, he's a true male.
-That's why.
-For real, I mean, no!
He's just confused,
we have to let him try and experiment,
and let him figure things out,
he's just confused.
You know what I realized?
I know almost nothing about you.
Well, you know enough.
That I'm married, that I'm going through
a divorce right now,
and everything I'm going through,
well, it's has made me feel very free
and I no longer want to be
in the background
or in second place anymore.
I think I was always wasting my time,
by being with
Thank you.
Go on.
Mrs. Eugenia, it's been such a long time.
How is Mr. Miranda doing?
Hood, good.
Tomás is my nephew, do you know him?
No, nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Cheers to being single,
for the madness and to everything else.
To being single.
What's his name? Where does he live?
Single, married? Tell me, now.
Wow, my
-You, you What?
-Come on! Tell me, now.
You're such a bitch,
I'm leaving, the bill, Dani!
No, wait. No, fine, hold on.
-Sorry. No
-No, no, forget the bill, forget the bill.
-You can't tell anyone, swear to me.
-No, no, I swear.
-You're not gonna ruin it either.
-I don't know.
I've been hooking up with Daniel.
With who?
Daniel.
The one with the ass.
Tell me that you grabbed his ass.
Tell me that you ate it, how delicious.
-What are you doing dating Daniel?
-What? Stop.
-Fuck buddies.
-Yes, fuck buddies, fuck buddies.
You're in love,
you're totally falling for him!
Mario Miranda is your ex?
Yes, that's him, yes.
Do you know what's the issue, Tomás?
That you could be
my son.
In fact, my daughter is your age.
Antonia Miranda. Yeah, I know her.
But don't worry, Eugenia,
I'm not gonna say anything to anyone
and much less Antonia.
Could we please get out of here?
Totally, whatever you'd like.
But what happened
to putting yourself first?
Because that story of being
the protagonist of your story
isn't working.
I think you have every right in the world
to be who you are
and continue on with your life.
Who cares what other people think?
Antonia, I know what I did wasn't right,
I really have no excuses
and, and it was a mistake,
but I want you to know
that what I told you
and what I feel for you is real.
I told you the truth
because I didn't want
to start things off with a lie
and I understand why you're upset,
but, but I'm right here
for whenever you're ready to talk,
and, uh, I feel like what we have
is worth giving it a chance.
Call me when you can.
Your plan to play hard to get
all day failed, didn't it?
Failed forward.
Hey
So I was thinking
Uh-huh.
How about we become like a couple?
What?
What?
I mean, are we gonna hide all our lives?
Who said we were gonna last
a lifetime, Dani?
-I was just kidding.
-Yeah, right.
-But I am tough!
-Uh-huh!
-It was a joke.
-Yeah.
No, no, no.
I was thinking about becoming a couple,
but in a way that's more like
going to swingers clubs?
What are the types of infidelity
that exist in a relationship?
"Emotional infidelity: When a person
becomes emotionally involved
with another person
outside of their relationship."
No, this one wasn't emotional
because, I mean, it wasn't,
because Julián told me
it was because they were drunk, right?
Yeah, there's this club I saw
that's awesome.
-Oh, yeah?
-Yes, five stars.
-Everything is safe?
-Yes! Five stars!
-Is it clean?
-The people who go there are super cool.
All fancy people, and everything
can be set up from your phone.
The problem is that they only accept
couples.
Oh, yeah, you and I could pass as a stable
and happy couple very easily.
-Totally. Of course.
-I have an idea.
Wait, wait a sec.
"Physical infidelity:
When a person has sexual relations
with someone who is not their partner."
Wow. Yuck.
Yes, no. Well, of course,
that's a double check mark,
that's the one, and I'm screwed
because it's obvious they slept together.
I don't know what else they did
or how many times.
"Can infidelity ever be forgiven?"
-What should I do?
-We're a stable and happy couple, right?
Oh, okay.
-Let's see, alright, alright.
-Okay, come on.
One, two, three.
"Forgiveness does not mean
forgetting what happened,
but rather accepting what happened
and working together
to overcome the pain and betrayal."
Together.
What if the guys have this app
and see these photos?
-No, no, you're crazy.
-Why not?
-Mafe, please.
-Dani!
No, Richie's an old man, he's a dinosaur,
he'd never have this on his phone!
Juli is going through heartbreak,
Santi would never share his woman
and Tomi's Tomi,
he would need a girlfriend first
to be able to get in here,
so don't worry,
everything's fine. Let's see.
Lemme see,
how did they turn out? Let me see.
This one's very good.
Anyone would believe us, right?
-These are great, I love them.
-Totally, the one cuddling.
-This is the one. I love it.
-No, no, no! Yeah, I like it.
-Wow, these are really good.
-Listen, you know what?
I'm gonna call Juli
to see how he's doing, right?
-Okay.
-Yes, yes, yes.
-Give me a second.
-I love these, they're amazing.
Uh-huh.
Oh, my God, how funny,
could you imagine us as a couple.
Oh, my God, that's hilarious!
So nuts.
Look, if you're calling me
to make me feel like an ass,
well, you've already done it.
Juli, I was just calling
to see how you were doing.
Bad.
Antonia won't answer me.
I don't think she's gonna forgive me,
Mafe, I don't know what to do.
I think it's best to give it time, right?
Time.
Hey, recommend something to watch
because I'm seriously fed up
with thinking about Brazil and Billuka.
Oh, March told me
about this Colombian film
that was nominated
for a thousand things, Dry tears?
-From that man Paz.
-Really?
That sounds depressing, Mafe.
Well, March has been recommending it.
Well, I'll check it out.
I love you. I'm here for you, buddy.
I love you too. Sending you a kiss.
Bye.
Let's see.
DRY TEARS
PRESENTING: DRY TEARS
All men have gone through
that moment of doubt,
of intrigue and confusion.
Are you going through that moment now?
You don't know what to do?
Well, don't worry
because today I'm presenting to you
a list of ten questions that you can use
to find out if you're gay
or if you're straight!
Remember that you might
be able to fool the whole world,
but you cannot fool yourself.
Let's begin with question number one.
Have I never had erotic fantasies
and the idea of touching
another guy's body turns me on?
What are you watching?
Por-no.
Some Japanese porn, Hentai.
It's like cartoon porn, it's dumb shit
Daniel sends to the group chat.
Lemme see, I wanna see.
-See what?
-What you're looking at.
No, come on, it's cartoons, no, no.
Hey, do you remember Patricia?
The one who works with me.
The one who got divorced.
Patico. Of course.
-Of course, yeah, I remember.
-Yeah?
-Uh-huh.
-Well, I was just thinking
about introducing her
to one of your friends.
Yeah, not a bad idea. Tomás?
I mean he's handsome and really sweet.
Tomás
-Yes, he's adorable, I love it.
-Yeah.
Awesome, should we set
something up for them?
Yeah! Let's do it!
Hey.
that sexual encounter with other boys?
Yes or no?
Question number three.
Have you ever kissed another boy
and then wanted to do it again?
I was stretching.
I was gonna make tea. Want some?
Yes, that sounds good! A cup of tea.
Are you going through that moment?
DO YOU LIKE TEA MORE THAN COFFEE?
"Do you like tea more than coffee?"
Damn it, man! Honey, coffee!
Coffee. Really black.
I mean dark, dark, dark.
The truth is, I see it as very viable.
I'll tell you as soon
as they give an answer,
but I'm sure it will all be very easy.
That's great, Muñoz. Very good.
Yes.
Julián, congratulations.
-Brother, thank you very much.
-Well,
-Mafe, thank you very much.
-Muñoz, thank you very much.
-We'll walk you out.
-Okay, thanks.
Yeah.
Look, I think that amongst us lawyers,
we'll take care of everything,
and we'll have it I think in a week.
Sounds awesome, let me know if anything.
-Obviously. Like always.
-Muñoz!
Gentlemen, it's been so long!
-How ya doing? All good?
-It's been a long time.
-I'm great, what's up?
-Doctor, everything okay?
-Good.
-All in order?
Perfect, everything's great.
-Sure, see you later.
-Call me if anything, thank you.
Bye. Always so brief, isn't he?
What's up? Are we gonna sign? Are we not?
What, what, what?
We're gonna sign.
Great!
We're gonna sign!
But, but, but we still have to make,
we still have to make
some modifications to the contract.
No, hold on, Julián, just tell me
you didn't change the stock,
if not this deal
is going straight to hell.
No, no, no, I was looking
at some marketing things, but that's it.
-Swear to us.
-I swear to you, dude.
Jesus, man, we're millionaires!
Damn, I love you!
Come on, Julián,
but are you sure, like sure?
Yes, listen, I speak for everyone,
if you're not sure, let us know and
No, no, no, alright, alright, calm down.
The person who had
to make the decision already made it.
Also, come on, guys,
don't you want to become millionaires,
why else did we get into this?
-We take risks and that's how we win.
-Uh-huh.
Well, yes, I'm positive.
We have no other option,
we don't have time to look for a solution,
it's good money, it's good clients,
and the best thing,
Billuka is safe and sound.
I'm not gonna give up
that easily, you guys.
I like it, I like it,
I like that attitude.
I'll grab the bottle of whiskey
because we have to celebrate.
Good one! Good, good, good, good!
Brother, congratulations.
Juli, hello.
Look, I wanted to tell you
that I'm very sorry.
That my reaction was over the top.
And you're absolutely right because also,
well, you told me
something you didn't even have to tell me.
What do you guys think?
What we've achieved together.
-What we've achieved.
-Oh, okay.
What about not giving up,
does that apply to Antonia too?
Nice.
ANTONIA ONLINE
-Ready, ready.
-Thank you.
-Ready.
-Okay, cheers.
Juli, hello.
Look, I wanted to tell you
that I'm very sorry.
-My reaction was over the top.
-What's up?
-Buddy
-So, what then?
Are we toasting or not?
-Cheers!
-Yeah?
-Cheers!
-Ready?
-That's it.
-Cheers!
-Cheers!
-Cheers!
My message was cut off, sorry.
Well, I know you and I were nothing,
so then, well, it's no big deal,
I mean, it's all good.
And
And
I would've also liked for this to work,
but I don't know, I feel like destiny
doesn't want us to be together,
too many things have happened.
So, then I guess, well,
let's leave things like this.
That's what I wanted to say.
You're a great guy.
I wish you all the success in the world.
And hopefully later on we can be friends.
I would like that very much,
but I think later on.
Not now.
DUDES