Ed, Edd n Eddy (1999) s02e02 Episode Script

1
[LAUGHING]
THIS IDEA'S TOO
GOOD EVEN FOR ME!
A TRIUMPH, EDDY!
Ed: BELLY FLOP!
Eddy: SLOW DOWN, TARZAN.
WE'RE NOT READY YET.
THIS LIME-FLAVORED GELATIN SHOULD REPLICATE
THE LOOK AND FEEL OF A REAL OCEAN.
I CAN'T SEE. IS IT DONE YET?
DONE WHAT?
THE DIRECTIONS STATE I
TAKES 15 MINUTES FOR THE
15 MINUTES! IT'S SUPPOSED
TO BE INSTANT GELATIN!
WHAT A RIP!
[BOARDS CREAKING]
HMM?
Eddy: RUN!
Ed: JIGGLY!
I SMELL CASH, BOYS!
EVERY KID ON THE BLOCK
WILL WANT TO COOL
OFF IN THIS STUFF!
TELL ME AM I DROOLING?
Ed: UP PERISCOPE! OOPS!
Edd: I MUST HAVE OVERESTIMATED.
THE VISCOSITY OF THE GELATIN.
THE GREATEST SCAM
IN THE WORLD GONE!
EDDY LOOK!
WELL, I THINK I'll
SKIP LUNCH TODAY.
LET'S TAKE HIM
HOME AND HIDE HIM.
Eddy: MARATHON?
DON'T MISS ALL DAY MOVIE?
ED, WHAT'S UP WITH
ALL THESE SIGNS?
TO REMIND ME NOT TO FORGET.
HOW TO BLINK AND
TALK AT THE SAME TIME?
Ed: NO! THE MONSTER
MOVIE MARATHON!
Edd and Eddy: MOVIE MARATHON?
8 HOURS OF HORROR
CYCLOPS MOVIES!
COOL! COOL!
Eddy: COUNT ME IN!
SWEET!
TELL ME A STORY, EDDY!
GET OFF ME!
ROOM FOR ONE MORE?
WHAT ARE YOU?
COMFY?
OK, ED SNACK ME!
SNACK?
CERTAINLY, ED. AFTER
ALL, WE ARE YOUR GUESTS.
Edd: WHICH MAKES YOU THE HOST.
YEAH! COME ON, SNACK BOY!
FORK THEM OVER!
I AM A HOST!
Ed: SNACK FOR DOUBLE-D
STOP! WAIT, I COULDN'T
NOT BEFORE EDDY!
Ed: SNACK FOR MY GUEST!
IT'S HAIRY, ED!
OH I'll GET YOU
ANOTHER ONE, MR. EDDY!
Eddy: UM, I'M JUST GONNA
CHECK THE KITCHEN.
DON'T YOU LEAVE ME HERE!
I GOT THIS ONE FOR CHRISTMAS!
Jimmy: LOOK, SARAH! FRENCH
POSTMODERN IMPRESSIONISTIC!
LOOKS LIKE A GERBIL, JIMMY!
MONSTER MOVIES
NEED A MONSTER SNACK!
WHERE'S THE MAYO, ED?
LOOK OUT, MR. COMFY!
MONSTER SANDWICH!
NOW, IF WE ONLY HAD
OH! GARBANZO PASTE!
UH YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT?
Sarah: ED! GE
OUT OF MY KITCHEN!
OOH! ARTISTS!
I HAVE A GUEST!
SO GET LOST!
BUT, SARAH, I AM A HOST!
WE'RE NOT GOING ANY
YOU'RE LEAVING RIGHT NOW!
PLEASE, EDDY, BEFORE SHE
BEFORE SHE WHAT?
DID YOU FORGET ABOUT THE MOVIE?
WHAT'S TOULOUSE
GONNA DO, ANYWAY?
FINGERPAINT ME TO DEATH?
EDDY, NEED I REMIND YOU
OF SARAH'S INSTABILITY
AND LACK OF RATIONAL THOUGHT?
WAIT TILL I GET MY
HANDS ON THAT SHRIMP!
UNLOCK THIS DOOR, SARAH!
[KNOCK KNOCK]
WHY, YOU LITTLE ED,
YOUR SISTER LOCKED US OUT!
I MUST SEE MOVIE!
MOVIE GOOD FOR ED!
Ed: I'VE GOTTA SEE
THE MOVIE, EDDY!
I'VE HAD IT! THOSE TWERPS WILL
REGRET THE DAY THEY
MESSED WITH THIS BRAINPOWER!
I BELIEVE WE'LL ALL BE
SORRY FOR THAT, EDDY.
EDDY, I THINK MY LEG'S ASLEEP.
Eddy: YOUR HEAD'S ASLEEP, ED!
Sarah: CAN YOU SEE
THOSE IDIOTS, JIMMY?
SARAH! SANTA'S COME EARLY!
A TALKING DOLLY!
Eddy: SAY SOMETHING, STUPID!
Ed: MY HEAD IS
SNORING. MAKE IT STOP!
SARAH! BOOGEYMAN!
NOW NOW, JIMMY!
WE'LL HAVE LOTS OF FUN
WITH OUR NEW DOLLY!
WHAT SAPS! WHAT SUCKERS!
PLEASE MOVE YOUR FOOT, EDDY!
WE'RE IN! MOVIE, ED!
TV FOR ME!
WHAT'S UP, KIWI HEAD!
MY PARENTS MOVED
THE HOUSE, EDDY!
Eddy: WHAT THE
WE COULD JUST GO
TO OUR HOUSE, EDDY.
WHAT? AND RUIN THE PLOT?
I WANT MOVIE NOW!
WE'VE GOT A DOORBELL, YOU KNOW!
KEV! AM I GLAD YOU'RE HOME!
YOU PASSED FIRST AID, RIGHT?
GOOD! IT'S ED!
IT'S BAD, KEV!
THERE'S NOT MUCH TIME.
WHAT'S BAD, DORKENSTEIN?
MY YARD! WHAT DID YOU
TWERPS DO TO MY YARD?
OH! THE TRAGEDY!
ED, MY FRIEND! SPEAK TO ME!
ED WAS FLYING SKYWRITING
WHEN HE RAN OUT OF SYLLABLES.
OH, MY LIVER! OH, MY LASAGNA!
ED, LASAGNA ISN'T A MAJOR ORGAN.
IT ISN'T?
HE FLEW IN REVERSE TO
ERASE A SPELLING MISTAKE
THEN CRASHED IN THE
YARD! IT WAS HIDEOUS!
IF ONLY HE HAD
LANDED ON HIS HEAD!
Ed: OH, MY FINGERNAILS!
OH, MY SKIN!
OH HI, KEVIN!
KEV! LOOK AT HIS LEGS!
PAIN AND HURT!
THEY'RE BONELESS!
WE BETTER TAKE HIM
TO YOUR TV ROOM
TO HEAL!
HUH! GET OFF MY LAWN!
OH, SCRATCH! PAIN!
NICE JOB, BRANDO!
MONSTER MOVIE, EDDY!
[DOORBELL]
Rolf: GOOD DAY.
HIYA, ROLF! COME IN? WATCH TV?
SURE, BUT WE CAN'T STAY LONG.
WHERE IS THAT TV? Rolf: YOU
HAVE NOT HAD PERMISSION.
TO ENTER ROLF'S HOUSE!
MY, WHAT INTERESTING
ANTIQUITIES, ROLF!
OLD WORLD COLONIAL?
THAT'S AN INTERESTING PIECE!
AH, YES! COME, SIT, LET ROLF
TELL YOU OF THE GREAT-NANO URN!
A BRAVE AND PROUD
SHEPHERD HE WAS!
LOOK! MY GREAT-NANO'S
ASHES STILL PROTECT THE LAND!
WHY IS THERE PLASTIC
ON THIS CHAIR, ROLF?
TO KEEP IT FRESH OR SOMETHING?
SIT DOWN, ED BOY!
YOUR GREAT-GRANDFATHER
SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT MAN, ROLF!
Rolf: AS I WAS THE FIRST-BORN
MALE OF THE FAMILY,
IT WAS PLACED UPON ME
TO CARRY THE GREAT-NANO
ACROSS THE SEA TO THIS NEW LAND.
IT WAS A DIFFICUL
JOURNEY FOR ROLF.
Rolf: BIRDBRAIN
ED BOY! SIT DOWN!
MY PATIENCE IS THIN,
AND YOUR HEAD IS FAT!
TV, EDDY!
BINGO!
UNDER THE COVER OF DARKNESS,
WE TRAVELED ACROSS THE SEA
IN CANOES MADE FROM
OUR LEATHER SHOES, YES?
MONSTER MOVIE?
Rolf: A GIANT SEA
CUCUMBER AROSE.
FROM THE DEPTHS WITH ONE EYE
BLINKING AND BLINKING,
LOOKING AT ROLF LIKE A SANDWICH!
AM I BORING YOU?
NAH. WE GOTTA GO
TO THE BATHROOM.
WE? TOGETHER AT ONCE?
THE SEA CUCUMBER GURGLED LOUDLY
LIKE MY FATHER
AFTER EATING CABBAGE!
YES, YES. ONE MOMENT!
THERE'S NO TELLING WHAT I'll DO.
IF I HEAR ANY MORE
OF THAT STORY!
THERE'S GOTTA BE
ANOTHER WAY TO THAT TV!
THERE! LOOK!
Edd: A BATHROOM VENT?
DO YOU KNOW WHAT KIND.
OF BACTERIA ADHERE TO A WAIT!
TV, DOUBLE-D!
THIS WAY! HURRY!
WE HAD TO DEVOUR THE CUCUMBER!
EDDY, I'M STUCK!
ME, TOO! ED, GIVE US A PUSH!
Ed: TV! MOVIE! IS IT ON?
Eddy: OUT OF MY WAY!
All: CYCLOPS!
Eddy: WHAT'S THAT?
I CAN'T SEE IT. IS THAT A TV?
WHO'S THERE?
ROLF'S TELEVISION SEEMS DATED.
Edd: I'M SURE THIS ACTIVATES IT.
SNACK, EDDY?
WHERE'S THE MOVIE?
RELAX, WILL YOU?
IT'S JUST THE WRONG CHANNEL!
THAT'S IT!
THIS? THIS IS THE
THIS IS WHERE THE CYCLOPS
BLINKS HIS VICTIM TO DEATH!
IT'S NOT EVEN IN COLOR!
I STILL ACHE FROM
DIGGING UP KEVIN'S YARD!
EVEN FROM THIS DISTANCE,
THE PRODUCTION VALUES
LOOK REMARKABLY CHEAP.
COME ON. LET'S GET MORE GELATIN.
COMING, ED?
SHHH!
COME ON, ED! THIS MOVIE STINKS!
MOVIE GOOD FOR ED!
LIGHTEN UP, LUMPY! I JUST
Ed: SHUT UP! SIT DOWN!
Rolf: AHA! THERE YOU ARE,
SNAKE-IN-THE-GRASS ED BOYS!
Ed: SHHH!
THAT CREATURE REMINDS ME
OF MY ONE-EYED GREAT-NANA.
SHE WAS SUCH A SWEET WOMAN.
ALWAYS BUMPING INTO THINGS.
NO MORE TALKING!
HOW LONG MUST WE SIT?
IT'S AN 8-HOUR MARATHON.
Eddy: GOOD THING WE ALREADY
WENT TO THE BATHROOM!
I SAID QUIET!
SNACKS!
ED! WHAT ARE YOU
DOING IN MY BED?
I CAN'T SLEEP, EDDY.
I KEEP THINKING
HOW CAN MY FEET SMELL
IF THEY DON'T HAVE A NOSE?
ED?
GET OUT OF MY ROOM!
Ed: MY BUTTOCKS HURT!
WHY DOES GOO FLOAT?
HIT THE ROAD!
Eddy: MY LAMP!
EDDY, WHY DON'T BIRDS JUS
TAKE A BUS SOUTH FOR THE WINTER?
Ed: EDDY? WHEN YOU
CLOSE THE FRIDGE DOOR,
DOES THE LITTLE LIGHT STAY ON?
GO HOME!
Ed: HELLO, LIGHT.
HELLO, LIGHT.
Ed: EDDY, CARROTS ARE
GOOD FOR YOUR EYES.
CAN IT DIAL A PHONE?
IF YOU'RE GOING TO
STRAIN YOUR PEANUT BRAIN,
THINK OF SOMETHING
MORE IMPORTANT,
LIKE HOW TO GET YOUR
FACE ON A DOLLAR BILL!
EDDIE, WHY IS SOMEONE
IN THE KITCHEN WITH DINAH?
UH DOUBLE-D UP YET?
Edd: INTRIGUING.
SLOWLY HOW EMBARRASSING!
SEEMS TO BE A 15-AMP RESISTOR!
HA HA! WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT?
MY, I LOVE KNOWLEDGE!
HEY, DOUBLE-D!
EDDY, YOU KNOW I HATE THAT!
OH, HELLO, ED.
WHAT YOU DOING TO THIS TOASTER?
BUSTED OR WHAT? WHERE'S
THE TOAST GO, ANYWAY?
FIRST OF ALL, EDDY, TOAS
DOESN'T GO IN A TOASTER
BREAD DOES.
SECOND, IT'S ACTUALLY
AN ANTIQUE RADIO.
I DISASSEMBLED IT, EDDY, IN ORDER
TO UNDERSTAND HOW IT WORKED.
YOU'RE RIGHT, DOUBLE-D.
THINK HOW IF WE KNEW
EVERYTHING, WE WOULD BE
IF WE KNEW EVERYTHING,
WE WOULD BE SO FAMOUS!
WAIT! YEAH AND RICH!
LIKE POTATO SALAD?
WELL I SEE
JAWBREAKERS LOADS OF 'EM!
I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SAY THIS,
BUT LET'S LEARN!
THAT'S THE SPIRIT!
LET'S GET EDUCATED!
SHALL WE BEGIN OUR JOURNEY
OF KNOWLEDGE AT ED'S HOUSE?
WE'RE GONNA BE
EGGHEADS! RICH EGGHEADS!
CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK!
EGADS!
Eddy: GARAGES ARE FOR CARS, ED.
Ed: WHY, THANK YOU!
Edd: WHERE DO WE BEGIN?
Ed: OH! I KNOW! LET'S
TAKE THIS APART FIRST!
UH EDDY?
Ed: LOOK AT WHAT I FOUND
ONE EDDY AND A WHOLE
BUNCH OF DOOHICKEYS!
I TOOK IT APART, DOUBLE-D.
AM I SMART NOW?
LET'S NOT ASK FOR MIRACLES, ED.
YOU'RE ENJOYING
THIS, AREN'T YOU?
AH! AND WHAT'S THIS?
SPIN IT, ED, AND LEARN!
IT'S A FACE SCRUNCHER! COOL!
LET'S SEE WHAT MAKES
THIS OLD DRESSER TICK!
WHOO-HOO! PG-13!
THAT'S MY MOM'S, EDDY.
UGGH!
HA HA! OH, DEAR!
I HAVEN'T LEARNED A THING!
COME ON. LET'S FIND
SOME MORE STUFF!
EDDY, MUST YOU BE SO ROUGH?
IS IT MY TURN TO
JUMP ON YOUR HEAD?
LET'S JUST FOLLOW EDDY, ED.
FOLLOW THE LEADER!
Rolf: GERTRUDE EGGS FOR ROLF?
OH! NOT AGAIN!
HOW MANY TIMES MUS
ROLF REPEAT HIMSELF?
NO STRANGE VISITORS, EVER!
Rolf: DO NOT BURN THE
CANDLE AT BOTH ENDS,
AS IT LEADS TO THE
LIFE OF A HAIRDRESSER!
Edd: THE PLYWOOD OF THIS COOP.
HAS SOME VERY UNUSUAL
CHARACTERISTICS.
Eddy: WOW
WOOD. Rolf: ED BOYS!
WE'RE TRYING TO SOLVE
THE MYSTERIES OF LIFE!
THIS REMINDS ROLF OF A
FABLE FROM HIS OLD COUNTRY.
HERE WE GO!
THE STORY OF THE UGLY
BOY AND THE TREE OF HEADS.
OK, WELL, IT'S BEEN
SWELL, ROLFIE BOY,
BUT WE'RE OUT OF HERE!
LIFE TOO SHORT NO
TO SMELL THE PARSNIP!
OK ONCE UPON A
TIME, AN UGLY BOY WAS
THROWN OUT OF HIS VILLAGE
AND HIT HIS MELON ON A TREE.
THE BOY LOOKED UP AND WAS AMAZED
AT THE MANY BEAUTIFUL HEADS
GROWING FROM ITS BRANCHES.
HANDSOME!
Rolf: AFTER MANY
TRIES Eddy: WHAT THE
HE FOUND ONE THAT FIT AND
RAN BACK TO THE VILLAGE.
YES HE BECAME VERY POPULAR.
I WANT A NEW HEAD, PLEASE, ROLF!
NEW HEAD!
ROLF! HEAD FOR ED!
Edd: WHAT A DISCOVERY!
IT'S FLAT AS CARDBOARD!
GIMME THAT!
HEAVY IN WEIGHT. GOT IT!
THANK YOU, EDDY!
YOU GUYS GOTTA SEE THIS!
I'D BEST TEND TO
HIS MEDICAL NEEDS.
EXCUSE ME.
MY TURN TO JUMP ON HIS HEAD!
LIFE HAS MANY DOORS, ED BOY!
OH! BIG TREE FLAT
EINSTEIN'S GOT NOTHING ON THIS!
WHAT A DISCOVERY!
I'M SPEECHLESS!
I MEAN, THIS IS AN
ABSOLUTE COUP
THE DISPLACEMEN
OF PERSPECTIVE! WHY
THOUGHT YOU WERE SPEECHLESS?
LOOK AT ME RUN!
OH, GREAT!
THE PAVEMENT HAS ADAPTED
FABRIC-LIKE QUALITIES!
INTERESTING.
HE'LL NEVER FIND HIS WAY OUT!
I SAY WE TAKE A BREAK.
THIS LEARNING STUFF
IS MAKING ME HUNGRY.
DID YOU SEE THAT?
WEIRD! OH, WELL.
CAN'T BEAT 'EM, EAT 'EM!
NOT BAD!
JUMPIN' JEHOSHOPHAT!
WHO TURNED OUT THE SUN?
HI, JIMMY!
LIGHTEN UP, SHRIMP!
WE'RE JUST FIGURING
OUT HOW STUFF WORKS.
Eddy: A THREAD?
Eddy: WHAT THE WOO HOO!
IS THAT JIMMY'S OUTLINE?
YOU BETCHA!
LET'S SELL IT BACK TO HIM!
FATE HAS DEALT A
CRUEL HAND! DARN IT!
COME, EDDY. YOU'D
BEST NOT AGGRAVATE IT!
LIKE MY NEW HAIRDO, DOUBLE-D?
IT SUITS YOU, EDDY. ED!
THIS IS FUN!
HELLO.
BIG ED, SCRUB MY FEET!
DID YOU SEE ANYTHING?
EDDY?
MY TURN!
Ed: LOOK AT ME!
Edd: ED, YOU SEEM
TO HAVE STUMBLED.
INTO ANOTHER DIMENSION!
I FEEL WE'RE GETTING CLOSER TO
ANSWERING THAT ALL-IMPORTANT QUESTION!
IS EDDY RICH YET?
CAN ED GO TO THE BATHROOM?
ED! SARAH?
SARAH!
Sarah: WAIT TILL I TELL MOM.
WHAT YOU DID TO JIMMY!
DON'T SPILL ME!
Eddy: WHAT A SHAME!
GOTTA GO? SO SOON?
Sarah: EDDY, YOU BLOCKHEAD!
WE COULD VERY WELL
BE THE NEXT COVER STORY
INTELLECTUAL
DISCOVERIES MAGAZINE!
GOOD THING YOU'RE HOUSEBROKEN!
DON'T LOOK NOW, BUT THERE'S A
COW HOVERING JUST OVERHEAD.
I FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE. PARDON ME.
HOLD THE ELEVATOR, DOUBLE-D.
Ed: AM I IT?
DOUBLE-D! WE'VE
LEARNED INTO FORTUNE!
DON'T LET THE EXCITEMEN
SPOIL YOUR GRAMMAR, EDDY.
LOOK AROUND US.
WE'VE GOT TO BE RICH!
EVERYTHING'S BROKEN! FIX IT NOW!
SHUT YOUR MOUTH,
SARAH! OR, BETTER YET
GET RID OF IT!
I LOVE TAKING THINGS APART!
GET HER OFF, DOUBLE-D!
NOT A CHANCE!
Eddy: OWWW! SARAH!
Edd: HELLO! AN ORIGINAL
SCENE TRANSITION! INTERESTING!
Edd: DID YOU EA
THE SUN AGAIN, EDDY?
Ed: CAN YOU GUESS
WHAT I'M DOING?
Eddy: GET OFF MY FOOT, ED!
Edd: I THINK WE'RE MOVING, EDDY!
Kevin: I CAN HEAR DORKS,
BUT I CAN'T SEE DORKS!
COME ON OUT AND SHOW YOURSELVES!
COTTON GRAVY!
CAREFUL, ED! YOU DON'
KNOW WHERE THAT'S BEEN!
OH, IT'S RIGHT HERE, DOUBLE-D!
TALLY HO! PLANK AND I
ARE GOING TO ROUGH
IT IN THE WOODS!
Edd: THIS IS NOT GOOD!
Nazz: CARE TO JOIN US, DOUBLE-D?
[MUMBLING]
Eddy: WAS THAT NAZZ?
YOU REALIZE WE'RE
FLOATING, DON'T YOU?
HELLO, ED BOY! MANY DOORS, YEAH?
TOO MUCH FOR COUCH
POTATO ED BOYS LIKE YOURSELF!
A 3-HEADED ROLF. YAWN.
FLY, BUTTERFLY, FLY!
ED, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
THE STORY IS NOT IN ORDER!
NO, ED! PLEASE!
HOW DOES HE PUT ON A HAT?
ARE WE RICH YET, DOUBLE-D?
IT'S ALL BECOME VERY
COMPLICATED, EDDY.
Eddy: WHAT ARE YOU GIVING ME?
ALL WE HAVE TO DO
IS READ YOUR NOTES,
AND WE'LL BE UP TO OUR
NECKS IN JAWBREAKERS!
Ed: I LOVE CHICKENS, EDDY!
Ed: SANDWICH!
Edd: MY NOTES!
[COMMOTION]
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
All: UH, NOTHING.
RIGHT. EXCEP
FOR BEING DORKS!
YEAH.
CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?
Ed: JIMMY! YOU GO
YOUR LINE BACK!
IS IT ON WRONG?
Sarah: ED! LEAVE JIMMY ALONE!
Ed: BABY SISTER! TAKE
YOUR MOUTH OFF AGAIN!
BIG ED HAS LOST HIS MARBLES!
HEY! IT'S STUCK!
GO, BURRHEAD, GO!
SARAH'S MAD.
[SARAH SCREAMING]
RUN FOR IT!
OH, DEAR!
IT'S OK, GUYS. I'll JUS
PICK UP THE HOLE!
Edd: THIS IS UNSANITARY!
Ed: ALLEY OOP!
WAIT TILL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!
BIG HOLE!
Eddy: RUN FOR IT!