Heathcliff & the Catillac Cats (1984) s02e02 Episode Script

1
HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF,
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR
NEIGHBORHOOD ♪
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
PLAYING PRANKS
ON EVERYONE ♪
THERE'S A RACE
TO BE ON TOP ♪
THE COMPETITION
DOESN'T STOP ♪
MIXING WITH
THE LADIES FAIR ♪
BEING CHARMING,
DEBONAIR ♪
THE GAME WILL
REIGN SUPREME ♪
AND NO ONE
CAN DENY-Y-Y-Y ♪
THEY'LL MAKE
A MYSTERY ♪
AND ALWAYS HAVE
AN ALIBI-I ♪
SO JOIN IN THE JUBILEE
THE CATS ARE GREAT,
THEY'LL ALL AGREE ♪
FINDING EACH CALAMITY
THE CAT'S SUPERIORITY
OH O-OH O-O-OH O-OH
O-O-OH OH
OH-OH O-O-OH O-OH ♪
HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF,
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR
NEIGHBORHOOD ♪
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
YOU SHOULD REALIZE
HE CAN WIN IT WITH YOU
OHH.
YECCH.
THAT JUNK AGAIN?
YECCH!
[GRUNTS]
I SEE HEATHCLIFF
LOVED HIS DINNER.
YECCH.
GUESS LIFE AROUND HERE
ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH
FOR SOME CATS.
PROBABLY WISHES HE COULD BE
LIKE THE CATS
THAT BELONG
TO THE RICH PEOPLE
IN THE MAGAZINE
BEVERLY HILLS CATS.
OH, I'M SURE HEATHCLIFF
IS HAPPY RIGHT HERE.
SOME FOLKS
JUST AREN'T CUT OU
TO BE RICH
AND HAVE EVERYTHING.
WANT TO BET?
[SNORING]
AAH!
UHH!
NNNNH!
AHEM
DON'T BE NAUGHTY, DEAR.
[WHISTLING]
OOH, WOW, FIX YOUR EYES
ON THOSE WHEELS.
WHAT A CAR!
OH, AND THAT FOOD.
OH, MMM, MMM, MMM, MMM,
MMM, MMM, MEOW, MEOW!
THE FOOD LOOKS GREAT HERE!
[DROOLING]
AW, I BE
THE REAL THING'S GREAT.
OH, WHAT A LIFE.
FOOD
MANSIONS, FOOD,
BIG CATS, FANCY CLOTHES,
OH, HO HO,
MORE AND MORE FOOD!
BOY, WHY COULDN'
THAT BE ME?
A RICH CAT
IN BEVERLY HILLS.
RICHBEVERLY HILLS
RICHOHOH
LOTS OF WONDERFULFOOD.
TSK,
HOW UTTERLY DISTASTEFUL.
OLIVER, WHAT IS
BEVERLY HILLS COMING TO
WHEN THIS SORT OF
CREATURE IS ALLOWED
TO LITTER OUR STREETS?
BEVERLY HILLS.
I'M IN BEVERLY HILLS!
ALL RIGHT, CHOW TIME!
HEY, CROSS
AT THE CROSSWALK!
SO I DIDN'T HAVE
A RESERVATION, BIG DEAL.
MAYBE YOU HAVE TO LOOK GREA
TO GET FOOD IN BEVERLY HILLS.
HMM
NOW, THERE'S HEAVEN.
STOP, YOU'RE JAYWALKING!
STOP, YOU'RE JAYWALKING!
[POLICE WHISTLE]
STOP, THIEF!
HEY, DROP THAT FISH!
COME BACK HERE, THIEF!
JAYWALKER!
WHOA--WHOA-OA-OA!
HEH HEH, SORRY, GUYS.
LET ME HELP YOU PICK IT UP.
STOP, UNPAW THAT,
YOU FELINE FELON.
OH, THOSE GUYS ARE CRAZY.
STRIKE!
GET BACK HERE!
STOP, THIEF!
JAYWALKER!
FOOD. SOMEWHERE
THERE MUST BE
YEOW!
WHAT'S THIS,
LOW CALORIE HORS D'OEUVRES?
GET HIM! THAT FAT CAT'S
GOT TO BE SOMEWHERE.
FIND THE WEASEL!
CELERY? ARTICHOKE? YECCH.
PARSLEY?
YECCH, YECCH, YECCH!
I SAY, OLD BEAN,
MUST BE TIME FOR LUNCH,
EH, WHAT?
I SAY, COMPANY!
JOIN ME IN A BI
OF LUNCH, DEAR FELLOW?
OK, I'M SO HUNGRY, I'D
EAT DOG FOOD RIGHT NOW.
Policeman:
LET'S CHECK THE ALLEY.
Delivery man: COME ON!
[SNIFFS]
Policeman: THERE HE IS!
Delivery man:
THERE HE IS, GET HIM!
JAYWALKER!
GET HIM!
FOOD
REAL, YUMMY,
WONDERFUL FOOD!
YEOW!
[GRUNTING]
YOU, TAKE THIS INSIDE.
NOW!
BOY, BRING ME
SOME OF THAT OVER HERE,
AND BE QUICK ABOUT IT.
[SNAPS FINGERS]
OOH.
YOU STUPID HALF-WIT!
I CAN'T STAND IT!
BONSAI!
Father:
THERE HE GOES, GET HIM!
Mother: DON'
LET HIM GET AWAY!
HEH HEH, HA HA, WHOA-OA.
THERE'S THE MONSTER!
GET HIM!
THIEF!
JAYWALKER!
I DON'T WANT TO BE RICH.
I HATE IT HERE!
WHOA--WHOA-OA-OA-OA!
HEATHCLIFF, WAKE UP!
YOU'RE HAVING
A NIGHTMARE.
WAKE UP!
YOU CAN HAVE BEING RICH.
WHO NEEDS BEVERLY HILLS?
BESIDES, THEY'RE TOO HARD
ON JAYWALKERS.
[SNORING]
DUH, I DID IT, I DID IT.
I CREATED A THING-A-BILLY
AND A JOY FOREVER.
All: WHAT WAS THAT?
UHGO BACK
TO SLEEP, FELLOWS.
WE ARTISTS
GET CARRIED AWAY SOMETIMES.
[LAUGHING]
THEY OUGH
TO CARRY YOU AWAY, MUNGO.
YOUR STATUE IS A BLIGHT,
WAKE UP NOW AND
SEE THE LIGHT.
I'VE SEEN BETTER AR
IN A SEPTIC TANK.
WHEN WE GET BACK,
I WANT THIS UGLY EXCUSE
FOR A CAT OUT OF HERE,
AND I WANT THIS
DUMB STATUE GONE, TOO.
[LAUGHING]
MUNGO'S BALMY.
UH, DON'T MIND THEM, SUPERCAT.
THEY JUST DON'T APPRECIATE
GOOD ART.
[MUMBLING]
DUH, HMM?
SOMEBODY'S OUT THERE.
MY DREAM
IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
A WHOLE STRING
OF MANGLE JUNKYARDS.
I LOVE A MAN
WHO HAS A PLAN.
HEH, BUT THEY'LL
NEVER SELL, MR. MANGLE.
THEY WILL
AFTER WE FINISH
WRECKING THE PLACE
AT MIDNIGHT.
LISTEN CLOSELY.
UH, UH-OH.
UH, RIFF RAFF, GUYS,
I'M GLAD YOU'RE BACK.
WAIT TILL I TELL YOU
WHAT THESE 3 CROOKS
ARE PLANNING TO DO.
SLOW DOWN, MUNGO, YOU'LL PU
A STRAIN ON YOUR BRAIN.
AND SO THEY PLAN
TO DESTROY THE PLACE
WITH BULLDOZERS
AND, UH, LIKE THAT.
SO THEY CAN BUY IT CHEAP.
OK, OPERATION BOOBY TRAP
IS NOW IN EFFECT
ON THE DOUBLE!
YOUR STINK BOMB
SLINGSHO
IS COMING ALONG FINE,
HECTOR.
I'M READY FOR THEM.
GOOD WORK, MUNGO.
ANYONE WHO COMES BY HERE
IS GOING TO GE
MUD IN THEIR EYE.
AYE, AYE, BOSS.
MATTRESSES STRETCHED
ACROSS THE PIT.
THEY DRIVE RIGHT ON
AND THEN THAT'S IT.
I SEE YOU'RE WELL VERSED
TODAY, WORDSWORTH.
[SNORING]
IF I MAY
INTERRUPT YOUR VIGIL,
O GUARDIAN
OF THE JUNKYARD,
YOUR ONLY JOB TONIGH
IS TO SOUND
THE ALARM BARK.
[YAWNS]
FOR THIS HE GETS PAID?
[SNORING]
MIDNIGHT
LET'S SYNCHRONIZE
OUR WATCHES.
11:30.
HALF PAST 8:00
AND GETTING LATE.
IT'S, UH,
5 MINUTES TO SOMETHING.
CLOSE ENOUGH.
WHY DOESN'T THAT DOG BARK?
[ENGINES REV]
NOW THAT'S
WHAT I CALL A BARK.
MAN THE BATTLE STATIONS!
All: YEOW!
UNH! OH!
THANK YOU, AND NOW
CHARGEOH!
BONSAIOH!
HIT THEM HIGH,
HIT THEM LOW.
NOW IT'S TIME
TO GO, GO, GO.
DUH, ME, TOO.
THIS IS GETTING
TO BE A HABIT.
YOU ALL HAVE MY PERMISSION
TO YELL AND SCREAM.
[GRUNTING]
LORRE, LEAVE
NO TRASH UNTURNED.
UH, MY BUCKET, AWAY!
UHH!
UH, SOMETHING WENT WRONG.
Mr. Mangle: TAKE OU
THE PILE OF JUNK TO THE LEFT.
THAT'S THEIR
HEADQUARTERS.
I'M ON MY WAY, BOSS MAN.
HEH HEH, HA HA.
[COUGHING]
MAN THE SLIME BUCKETS,
HECTOR.
BULLDOZER AT 12 O'CLOCK.
I STILL GOT 11:30, RIFF RAFF.
JUST CUT THE ROPE.
ROGER WILLCO,
OVER AND UNDER.
FIRE!
GREAT SHOT, HECTOR.
YOUR ACCURACY
IS INCREDIBLE.
NICE GOING, GUYS.
CALLING ALL TROOPS,
RETREAT TO THE BUNKER
BEHIND THE SINKHOLE.
OOH!
UHH!
UNH!
UHH!
ONCE AGAIN,
YOU ALL HAVE MY PERMISSION
TO SCREAM AND YELL.
[MOANING]
I THINK WE'VE GOT THEM
ON THE RUN.
TIME TO SWAY AND SLAM.
AAH!AAH!
NYAH, NYAH, NYAH!
SWAY IT AGAIN, SLAM.
WE'RE SAFE!
I'LL GET BACK TO YOU
ON THAT, HECTOR.
NYAH, NYAH, NYAH,
YOU MISSED.
AHEM.
SORRY, BOSS.
WHAT'S THE WORD,
WORDSWORTH?
ROSES ARE RED
AND SO'S MY SUSPENDER.
FROM MY VANTAGE POINT,
IT LOOKS LIKE SURRENDER.
THEY'RE GOING TO SURRENDER?
NO, WE ARE. DUCK!
ALL RIGHT, TROOPS,
TIME FOR PLAN B.
OH, WHAT A DRAG.
WE NEED A WHITE FLAG.
MUNGO, GIVE ME YOUR HANKY.
MUNGO,
YOU YELLOW-BELLIED COWARD,
GET BACK HERE
AND SURRENDER!
NOTHING DOIN'.
I CAN'T BELIEVE MY EARS.
THEY ARE KIND OF BIG,
BUT YOU'LL
GET USED TO THEM, BOSS.
I'LL PRETEND
I DIDN'T HEAR THAT.
KIND OF HARD WHEN YOU
LOOK LIKE AN ELEPHANT.
ALL RIGHT, WISE GUY,
YOU SURRENDER.
THE DIRTY YELLOW COWARDS
ARE SURRENDERING.
CEASE FIRE.
I LIKE A CA
WHO KNOWS WHEN IT'S OVER.
HEH HEH, HA HA.
ALL RIGHT, COME OU
WITH YOUR PAWS UP.
UH, DON'T GIVE UP, GUYS.
IT'S MUNGO WITH HIS
DUMB STATUE TO THE RESCUE.
THAT'S MY MUNGO.
I KNEW HE WOULDN'
LET ME DOWN.
GUESS HE WANTS ME
DOWN HERE WHERE IT'S SAFE.
LOOK HERE, YOU GUYS
ALREADY SURRENDERED.
SURRENDER? NEVER!
Hector: GO GET THEM, MUNGO.
GREENSTREET,
HE'S ALL YOURS.
MINE, ALL MINE, HEH HEH!
MUNGO!
LOOK OUT!
BEHIND YOU!
UH
I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU,
MR. BULLDOZERMAN.
DON'T SAY
I DIDN'T WARN YOUSE.
FORE!
[SCREECHES TO STOP]
SPLENDIDLY DONE,
A HOLE IN ONE.
AND THAT'S PAR
FOR THE COURSE.
HEH HEH, PLEASE,
MR. MANGLE, LET ME AT HIM.
TAKE HIM, LORRE.
BATTER HIM DOWN TO SIZE.
MUNGO, BATTERING RAM
AT 4 O'CLOCK.
I STILL HAVE 11:30.
UH, TORO!
All: OLé!
All: OLé!
OLé!
AAH, WHO TURNED OU
THE LIGHTS?
IT'S NOT FAIR,
IT'S NOT FAIR!
OLé!OLé!
OLé!
GREENSTREET,
LORRE, IT'S CURTAINS.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
IT'S NOT FAIR! IT'S NOT FAIR!
WAY TO GO, MUNGO.
ALL RIGHT!
TAKE A BOW.
GEE, BOSS, ARE YOU
REALLY PROUD OF ME?
I'LL GET BACK TO YOU
ON THAT, MUNGO.
HERE'S SOME WAYS TO HELP YOU
FIND YOUR LOST PET.
FIRST CHECK INSIDE CLOSETS AND
UNDER THE BED.
LET YOUR NEIGHBOURS KNOW YOUR
PET'S MISSING.
POST A NOTE IN YOUR
VETERENATIAN'S OFFICE,
AND CHECK WITH THE LOCAL DOG
POUND.
AND PUT OUT A DISH OF YOUR PET'S
FAVOURITE FOOD.
A GOOD DINNER MIGHT LURE HIM
BACK.
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
FOX FAMILY CHANNEL AND
THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION