Henry Danger (2014) s02e02 Episode Script
One Henry, Three Girls: Part 1
1 [ music .]
When is he going to get here? I don't know.
I'm not in charge of when guys get here.
Well, did you make an appointment? Not exactly.
Of course you didn't.
Because you can't commit to anything.
That's not true.
I'm committed to finishing this banana.
Hey ho.
Here I am.
Good.
Please delete my thumbprint from Henry's locker.
Yeah.
We're not going to be sharing a locker anymore.
You want me to act surprised? Because I'm not.
Why are you not surprised? Let me guess.
She wants you two to be boyfriend and girlfriend, but you're not ready, so she's moving out.
Is that about it? That's not exactly it.
That's exactly it.
I thought so.
Look, Bianca, I'm almost finished with this banana I committed to eating.
Hey, Henry.
You want a mango? Yes.
You can't just bite into a mango.
You have to peel it first.
I do what I want.
You want to spit it out into my pocket? God, yes.
And then Bianca said she didn't want to be my locker buddy anymore she didn't want to be my locker buddy anymore just because I said to be my locker buddy anymore just because I said I wasn't sure I want just because I said I wasn't sure I want to be boyfriend and girlfriend.
I wasn't sure I want to be boyfriend and girlfriend.
Can you believe that? to be boyfriend and girlfriend.
Can you believe that? Yes.
Can you believe that? Yes.
I know.
Yes.
I know.
Wait, wait, yes? I know.
Wait, wait, yes? Yeah.
Wait, wait, yes? Yeah.
I'm on Bianca's side here.
Yeah.
I'm on Bianca's side here.
No.
I'm on Bianca's side here.
No.
No, that's the wrong side No.
No, that's the wrong side for you to be on.
No, that's the wrong side for you to be on.
What's on your head? for you to be on.
What's on your head? A glass hat.
What's on your head? A glass hat.
I just got it.
A glass hat.
I just got it.
Oh, I've heard of those.
I just got it.
Oh, I've heard of those.
What is a glass hat? Oh, I've heard of those.
What is a glass hat? It's a hat What is a glass hat? It's a hat made of glass.
It's a hat made of glass.
A lot of celebrities made of glass.
A lot of celebrities are wearing them.
A lot of celebrities are wearing them.
Okay.
Well, congrats are wearing them.
Okay.
Well, congrats on your glass hat, but Charlotte Okay.
Well, congrats on your glass hat, but Charlotte and I are having-- on your glass hat, but Charlotte and I are having-- Guess what? and I are having-- Guess what? What? Guess what? What? Don't care.
What? Don't care.
Okay, I can't believe Don't care.
Okay, I can't believe you're taking Bianca's side.
Okay, I can't believe you're taking Bianca's side.
Henry, you don't share you're taking Bianca's side.
Henry, you don't share a locker with a girl Henry, you don't share a locker with a girl unless you're really a locker with a girl unless you're really into that girl.
unless you're really into that girl.
I was into Bianca.
into that girl.
I was into Bianca.
But you wanted I was into Bianca.
But you wanted to leave your options open But you wanted to leave your options open for to leave your options open for I for I I don't know I I don't know what you're talking about.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I'm talking what you're talking about.
I'm talking I'm talking about I'm talking I'm talking about your Wall Dog friend, Veronika.
I'm talking about your Wall Dog friend, Veronika.
Your pretty little graffiti girl your Wall Dog friend, Veronika.
Your pretty little graffiti girl who you like to kiss.
Your pretty little graffiti girl who you like to kiss.
That who you like to kiss.
That that was undercover kissing.
That that was undercover kissing.
What? that was undercover kissing.
What? I was being Kid Danger What? I was being Kid Danger and my job I was being Kid Danger and my job was to get information from her.
and my job was to get information from her.
And what information was to get information from her.
And what information were you trying to find out? And what information were you trying to find out? What her mouth tastes like? were you trying to find out? What her mouth tastes like? Aah! There's a smudge What her mouth tastes like? Aah! There's a smudge on my hat.
Aah! There's a smudge on my hat.
Hey, where's the glass cleaner? on my hat.
Hey, where's the glass cleaner? Check the garage.
Hey, where's the glass cleaner? Check the garage.
Okay, this whole thing Check the garage.
Okay, this whole thing is about Bianca, not Veronika.
Okay, this whole thing is about Bianca, not Veronika.
Uh-huh.
is about Bianca, not Veronika.
Uh-huh.
And when was the last time Uh-huh.
And when was the last time you saw Veronika? And when was the last time you saw Veronika? I don't know.
you saw Veronika? I don't know.
Maybe last week, once I don't know.
Maybe last week, once or three times.
Maybe last week, once or three times.
I don't remember.
or three times.
I don't remember.
Hey, Charlotte.
I don't remember.
Hey, Charlotte.
Henry, I've been thinking Hey, Charlotte.
Henry, I've been thinking about your mom's chili all day.
Henry, I've been thinking about your mom's chili all day.
Okay.
about your mom's chili all day.
Okay.
Is there any left? Okay.
Is there any left? Can I have some? Is there any left? Can I have some? Yeah, there's some left Can I have some? Yeah, there's some left in the fridge.
Yeah, there's some left in the fridge.
Awesome.
in the fridge.
Awesome.
Chili, chili, chili, chili.
Awesome.
Chili, chili, chili, chili.
You know, I don't think Chili, chili, chili, chili.
You know, I don't think you're being very fair here.
You know, I don't think you're being very fair here.
Henry, I know you.
you're being very fair here.
Henry, I know you.
You want both girls.
Henry, I know you.
You want both girls.
You want to have You want both girls.
You want to have your cake and kiss it, too.
You want to have your cake and kiss it, too.
No, I just want your cake and kiss it, too.
No, I just want I just want my freedom No, I just want I just want my freedom because this is America.
I just want my freedom because this is America.
Oh my god.
because this is America.
Oh my god.
What? Oh my god.
What? Come on.
What? Come on.
It's true.
Come on.
It's true.
And I have the right to go out It's true.
And I have the right to go out with more than one girl.
And I have the right to go out with more than one girl.
I think it's even with more than one girl.
I think it's even in the Constitution, I think it's even in the Constitution, or the Torah, or something.
in the Constitution, or the Torah, or something.
Okay, then.
or the Torah, or something.
Okay, then.
Fine.
Okay, then.
Fine.
You want your freedom Fine.
You want your freedom from Bianca, so now she gets You want your freedom from Bianca, so now she gets her freedom from you.
from Bianca, so now she gets her freedom from you.
You know what? her freedom from you.
You know what? You're right.
You know what? You're right.
It's good Bianca and I broke up.
You're right.
It's good Bianca and I broke up.
Because that way It's good Bianca and I broke up.
Because that way I get my options, Because that way I get my options, she gets her options, I get my options, she gets her options, and now I have more room she gets her options, and now I have more room in my locker for sports balls.
and now I have more room in my locker for sports balls.
Where's my glass hat? in my locker for sports balls.
Where's my glass hat? Your glass hat? Where's my glass hat? Your glass hat? Yeah.
Your glass hat? Yeah.
I left it right here.
Yeah.
I left it right here.
Did you see it? I left it right here.
Did you see it? I saw a bowl.
Did you see it? I saw a bowl.
A bowl.
I saw a bowl.
A bowl.
Did you use my glass hat A bowl.
Did you use my glass hat as a bowl? Did you use my glass hat as a bowl? Uh as a bowl? Uh Where is it? Uh Where is it? It's in the microwave.
Where is it? It's in the microwave.
What? It's in the microwave.
What? It's not microwave safe.
What? It's not microwave safe.
Well, how was I supposed It's not microwave safe.
Well, how was I supposed to know? Well, how was I supposed to know? I'm sorry I broke your hat.
to know? I'm sorry I broke your hat.
It all just kind of happened.
I'm sorry I broke your hat.
It all just kind of happened.
My dad was It all just kind of happened.
My dad was an irresponsible scientist.
My dad was an irresponsible scientist.
I wanted an after-school job.
an irresponsible scientist.
I wanted an after-school job.
And by accident, I wanted an after-school job.
And by accident, he made me indestructible.
And by accident, he made me indestructible.
Aah! he made me indestructible.
Aah! I went into this crazy store Aah! I went into this crazy store and met I went into this crazy store and met a pretty interesting guy.
and met a pretty interesting guy.
I'm going to blow your mind.
a pretty interesting guy.
I'm going to blow your mind.
Now I protect I'm going to blow your mind.
Now I protect the good citizens of Swellview Now I protect the good citizens of Swellview who call me the good citizens of Swellview who call me He turned out to be who call me He turned out to be You know the name.
He turned out to be You know the name.
Captain Man! You know the name.
Captain Man! That's right, Henry.
Captain Man! That's right, Henry.
In time, I realized that That's right, Henry.
In time, I realized that being a superhero In time, I realized that being a superhero is a lot to handle alone.
being a superhero is a lot to handle alone.
He wanted some help.
is a lot to handle alone.
He wanted some help.
I needed a sidekick.
He wanted some help.
I needed a sidekick.
I, Henry Hart I needed a sidekick.
I, Henry Hart Pledge to never ever ever I, Henry Hart Pledge to never ever ever tell anyone Pledge to never ever ever tell anyone That I'm Captain Man's tell anyone That I'm Captain Man's secret sidekick.
That I'm Captain Man's secret sidekick.
It is done.
secret sidekick.
It is done.
Now we blow bubbles.
It is done.
Now we blow bubbles.
And fight crime.
Now we blow bubbles.
And fight crime.
Feels good.
Call it.
Up the tube! Oh, my boot.
Ha! Aah.
Hi.
Where'd you come from? Doesn't matter.
Because you look cute.
I was going for cute.
So, why don't we take a walk by Swellview Pond and then we can-- Wh-- Are those cans of spray paint? Yeah, so? You promised me.
No more graffiti.
Uh-huh.
You know, I could've taken you to jail with the rest of the Wall Dogs.
I know.
But I let you go on the condition that you'd stop spraying graffiti all over Swellview and and that feels really good.
Yeah.
We should probably kiss.
Well, then it's a good thing We should probably kiss.
Well, then it's a good thing I brought my lips.
Well, then it's a good thing I brought my lips.
Hey! You kids! I brought my lips.
Hey! You kids! Were you two about to kiss? Hey! You kids! Were you two about to kiss? I don't know.
Maybe.
Were you two about to kiss? I don't know.
Maybe.
Yeah, pretty much.
I don't know.
Maybe.
Yeah, pretty much.
Well, stop it! Yeah, pretty much.
Well, stop it! This is a park, Well, stop it! This is a park, not some kissatorium! This is a park, not some kissatorium! Sir not some kissatorium! Sir this park is for all citizens Sir this park is for all citizens of Swellview to use and enjoy this park is for all citizens of Swellview to use and enjoy and if this young lady and I of Swellview to use and enjoy and if this young lady and I want to kiss, and if this young lady and I want to kiss, then we have every right to-- want to kiss, then we have every right to-- Let's go somewhere else.
then we have every right to-- Let's go somewhere else.
That's right! Let's go somewhere else.
That's right! Just cross off! And sadly, according to city officials, there were no survivors.
Got to be more careful.
In other news yesterday, Swellview's own Captain Man was attacked again by the elderly woman who's come to be known as "The Mad Granny.
" It happened at a junior high school yesterday as Captain Man was speaking to kids about the importance of climate change.
You see, climate is like our weather.
And when it comes to weather, the last thing you want is change.
Because change is bad.
Now, sometimes change can be good like changing your underwear.
That helps everyone.
But with climate, change is our enemy.
Ow! What the-- Aah! Aah! Anyway, speaking of Captain Man, he'll be on hand tomorrow in Swellview Park, where the Vice Mayor will be hosting the official dedication of Swellview's first public bathroom that was built way back in 1898.
Mary, you know that bathroom.
I do.
So many memories.
Stop being so paranoid.
Oh, easy for you to say.
You don't have a crazy old lady Oh, easy for you to say.
You don't have a crazy old lady running around, whacking you You don't have a crazy old lady running around, whacking you with an umbrella.
running around, whacking you with an umbrella.
Relax.
with an umbrella.
Relax.
I'm here.
Relax.
I'm here.
I'm watching everything I'm here.
I'm watching everything like a hawk.
I'm watching everything like a hawk.
Stop that.
like a hawk.
Stop that.
Now, go.
Stop that.
Now, go.
Survey the park.
Now, go.
Survey the park.
Make sure the Mad Granny's Survey the park.
Make sure the Mad Granny's not here.
Make sure the Mad Granny's not here.
Okay.
not here.
Okay.
Yeah, I'll take some popcorn Okay.
Yeah, I'll take some popcorn in a souvenir toilet.
Yeah, I'll take some popcorn in a souvenir toilet.
Bianca? in a souvenir toilet.
Bianca? She's feeding him popcorn.
Bianca? She's feeding him popcorn.
Uh-huh.
She's feeding him popcorn.
Uh-huh.
It was funny.
Uh-huh.
It was funny.
Pardon me.
It was funny.
Pardon me.
Why are you interrupting-- Pardon me.
Why are you interrupting-- ooh.
Why are you interrupting-- ooh.
All right.
All right.
ooh.
All right.
All right.
Thank you for being here All right.
All right.
Thank you for being here to witness this official Thank you for being here to witness this official dedication of our city's to witness this official dedication of our city's very first public restroom dedication of our city's very first public restroom built way back in 1898.
very first public restroom built way back in 1898.
And now I give you built way back in 1898.
And now I give you our very own Captain Man.
And now I give you our very own Captain Man.
[ crowd cheering .]
our very own Captain Man.
[ crowd cheering .]
Oh god, the Mad Granny.
[ crowd cheering .]
Oh god, the Mad Granny.
Eat this, lady.
Oh god, the Mad Granny.
Eat this, lady.
[ screaming .]
Eat this, lady.
[ screaming .]
This isn't the Mad Granny.
[ screaming .]
This isn't the Mad Granny.
It's my mother.
This isn't the Mad Granny.
It's my mother.
Oh.
It's my mother.
Oh.
Well, then Oh.
Well, then no need to apologize.
Well, then no need to apologize.
Look.
no need to apologize.
Look.
Bianca's over there Look.
Bianca's over there feeding popcorn to some guy.
Bianca's over there feeding popcorn to some guy.
Oh, you mean Blake? feeding popcorn to some guy.
Oh, you mean Blake? I don't know.
Oh, you mean Blake? I don't know.
He's some dude in a red shirt I don't know.
He's some dude in a red shirt with-- who the heck is Blake? He's some dude in a red shirt with-- who the heck is Blake? He moved to Swellview with-- who the heck is Blake? He moved to Swellview about two weeks ago.
He moved to Swellview about two weeks ago.
Super nice guy.
about two weeks ago.
Super nice guy.
Who cares if he's nice? Super nice guy.
Who cares if he's nice? She can't be with him.
Who cares if he's nice? She can't be with him.
Why not? She can't be with him.
Why not? You said Why not? You said you wanted your freedom.
You said you wanted your freedom.
I don't remember saying that.
you wanted your freedom.
I don't remember saying that.
You said, "This is America.
I don't remember saying that.
You said, "This is America.
"I want freedom.
You said, "This is America.
"I want freedom.
"And I have the right "I want freedom.
"And I have the right to go with any girl I want.
" "And I have the right to go with any girl I want.
" Well, yeah.
to go with any girl I want.
" Well, yeah.
But that applies to me, Well, yeah.
But that applies to me, not Bianca.
But that applies to me, not Bianca.
Oh, so you get your freedom, not Bianca.
Oh, so you get your freedom, but Bianca should just sit Oh, so you get your freedom, but Bianca should just sit at home alone doing nothing.
but Bianca should just sit at home alone doing nothing.
Thank you.
at home alone doing nothing.
Thank you.
Can I go ahead Thank you.
Can I go ahead and get started? Can I go ahead and get started? Yeah, sure.
and get started? Yeah, sure.
Thank you.
Yeah, sure.
Thank you.
[ clears throat .]
Thank you.
[ clears throat .]
Bathrooms go by many names.
[ clears throat .]
Bathrooms go by many names.
Such as, the restroom.
Bathrooms go by many names.
Such as, the restroom.
The John.
Such as, the restroom.
The John.
The head.
The John.
The head.
The potty.
The loo.
The head.
The potty.
The loo.
The toidy.
The potty.
The loo.
The toidy.
Tinkle town.
The toidy.
Tinkle town.
Poo corner.
Tinkle town.
Poo corner.
The lavatory.
Poo corner.
The lavatory.
Hey, Piper.
The lavatory.
Hey, Piper.
Piper.
Hey, Piper.
Piper.
You know where Piper.
You know where there's a bathroom? You know where there's a bathroom? Don't talk to me.
there's a bathroom? Don't talk to me.
You broke my glass hat.
Don't talk to me.
You broke my glass hat.
I said I was sorry.
You broke my glass hat.
I said I was sorry.
Now, come on.
I said I was sorry.
Now, come on.
I really need a bathroom.
Now, come on.
I really need a bathroom.
There's one over there.
I really need a bathroom.
There's one over there.
That's the one There's one over there.
That's the one they're dedicating.
That's the one they're dedicating.
They won't let anyone they're dedicating.
They won't let anyone go in there.
They won't let anyone go in there.
Okay, go in there.
Okay, just go around the back Okay, just go around the back and use the girls' bathroom.
just go around the back and use the girls' bathroom.
But that's for girls.
and use the girls' bathroom.
But that's for girls.
I'll get in trouble But that's for girls.
I'll get in trouble if I go in there.
I'll get in trouble if I go in there.
No.
if I go in there.
No.
I'll come stand guard No.
I'll come stand guard and let you know I'll come stand guard and let you know if someone's coming.
and let you know if someone's coming.
Okay.
Thanks.
Come on.
if someone's coming.
Okay.
Thanks.
Come on.
It was 30 years ago, Okay.
Thanks.
Come on.
It was 30 years ago, my dad had taken me fishing.
It was 30 years ago, my dad had taken me fishing.
Oh, man.
my dad had taken me fishing.
Oh, man.
What? Oh, man.
What? The guy Blarf just whispered What? The guy Blarf just whispered something in Bianca's ear The guy Blarf just whispered something in Bianca's ear and she laughed.
something in Bianca's ear and she laughed.
His name is Blake.
and she laughed.
His name is Blake.
I pronounce it "Blarf.
" His name is Blake.
I pronounce it "Blarf.
" That's when my dad told me I pronounce it "Blarf.
" That's when my dad told me about Swellview's That's when my dad told me about Swellview's oldest public restroom.
about Swellview's oldest public restroom.
This bathroom was a-- oldest public restroom.
This bathroom was a-- Ah, great.
This bathroom was a-- Ah, great.
Now their elbows are touching.
Ah, great.
Now their elbows are touching.
What do they think this is, Now their elbows are touching.
What do they think this is, their honeymoon? What do they think this is, their honeymoon? Kid Danger, their honeymoon? Kid Danger, isn't that the Mad Granny? Kid Danger, isn't that the Mad Granny? We must all be thankful.
isn't that the Mad Granny? We must all be thankful.
Uh-oh.
We must all be thankful.
Uh-oh.
And in the words Uh-oh.
And in the words of the great And in the words of the great Sammy Davis Junior-- of the great Sammy Davis Junior-- Come on.
Sammy Davis Junior-- Come on.
Ugh.
Come on.
Ugh.
He's in there.
Ugh.
He's in there.
I told him He's in there.
I told him it was for ladies only, I told him it was for ladies only, but he went in anyway.
it was for ladies only, but he went in anyway.
And I think he has a knife.
but he went in anyway.
And I think he has a knife.
[ screams .]
And I think he has a knife.
[ screams .]
That's for my glass hat.
[ screams .]
That's for my glass hat.
[ grunting .]
That's for my glass hat.
[ grunting .]
I'm okay.
[ grunting .]
I'm okay.
I'm okay.
I'm okay.
I'm okay.
Hey.
Don't worry.
I'm here.
I'm okay.
Hey.
Don't worry.
I'm here.
Thanks.
Hey.
Don't worry.
I'm here.
Thanks.
I had to go.
Thanks.
I had to go.
Nobody else was even in there.
I had to go.
Nobody else was even in there.
And I had my eyes closed.
Nobody else was even in there.
And I had my eyes closed.
Piper! And I had my eyes closed.
Piper! Piper, where are you? Piper! Piper, where are you? Piper! Piper, where are you? Piper! Piper! Piper! Piper! I don't even want to know.
Piper! I don't even want to know.
We must all be thankful.
all.
I don't even want to know.
We must all be thankful.
all.
And in the words We must all be thankful.
all.
And in the words of the great Sammy And in the words of the great Sammy [ slow motion .]
Davis Junior, of the great Sammy [ slow motion .]
Davis Junior, about-- oh! [ slow motion .]
Davis Junior, about-- oh! See, what we learned there about-- oh! See, what we learned there is that when an old lady See, what we learned there is that when an old lady wants to beat me is that when an old lady wants to beat me and you're not paying attention, wants to beat me and you're not paying attention, what happens to old Ray? and you're not paying attention, what happens to old Ray? You get beaten.
what happens to old Ray? You get beaten.
I'm sorry, what was that? You get beaten.
I'm sorry, what was that? You get beaten.
I'm sorry, what was that? You get beaten.
I get beaten.
You get beaten.
I get beaten.
Yeah.
I get beaten.
Yeah.
[ slow motion grunting .]
Yeah.
[ slow motion grunting .]
And the beat goes on.
[ slow motion grunting .]
And the beat goes on.
You know, Henry, And the beat goes on.
You know, Henry, when I picked you You know, Henry, when I picked you as my sidekick, it was because when I picked you as my sidekick, it was because I thought I could always as my sidekick, it was because I thought I could always count on you to be by my side.
I thought I could always count on you to be by my side.
I mean, it's in the name, count on you to be by my side.
I mean, it's in the name, "sidekick.
" I mean, it's in the name, "sidekick.
" Why'd you let me down? "sidekick.
" Why'd you let me down? Because I Why'd you let me down? Because I I saw Bianca there.
Because I I saw Bianca there.
Bianca? I saw Bianca there.
Bianca? What, that girl Bianca? What, that girl you used to go out with What, that girl you used to go out with who was there yesterday you used to go out with who was there yesterday with that super handsome who was there yesterday with that super handsome new guy? with that super handsome new guy? He's not super handsome.
new guy? He's not super handsome.
I was told He's not super handsome.
I was told he's super handsome.
I was told he's super handsome.
Who told you that? he's super handsome.
Who told you that? Wait.
Who told you that? Wait.
I thought Bianca got cast Wait.
I thought Bianca got cast on that reality show, I thought Bianca got cast on that reality show, "Kids in the Woods.
" on that reality show, "Kids in the Woods.
" No, no, that was Chloe.
"Kids in the Woods.
" No, no, that was Chloe.
Another girl Henry No, no, that was Chloe.
Another girl Henry used to like.
Another girl Henry used to like.
Hey, you can't blame me used to like.
Hey, you can't blame me for the Chloe thing.
Hey, you can't blame me for the Chloe thing.
She's the one for the Chloe thing.
She's the one who left me for the woods.
She's the one who left me for the woods.
Fine, but you're the one who left me for the woods.
Fine, but you're the one who messed things up Fine, but you're the one who messed things up with Bianca.
who messed things up with Bianca.
I'm over Bianca.
with Bianca.
I'm over Bianca.
Then why do you care I'm over Bianca.
Then why do you care if she's with another guy? Then why do you care if she's with another guy? Because I love her.
if she's with another guy? Because I love her.
What? Because I love her.
What? Oh, life is hard.
What? Oh, life is hard.
You know what? Oh, life is hard.
You know what? I don't care what girl You know what? I don't care what girl or girls you want I don't care what girl or girls you want to hang out with.
or girls you want to hang out with.
I mean, look, to hang out with.
I mean, look, nobody knows the joy I mean, look, nobody knows the joy of many girls better than I do.
nobody knows the joy of many girls better than I do.
But when you're Kid Danger, of many girls better than I do.
But when you're Kid Danger, you have a responsibility.
But when you're Kid Danger, you have a responsibility.
Don't let me down again.
you have a responsibility.
Don't let me down again.
[ sighs .]
Don't let me down again.
[ sighs .]
All right.
[ sighs .]
All right.
I know what I'm going to do.
All right.
I know what I'm going to do.
What? I know what I'm going to do.
What? I'm going to find Bianca What? I'm going to find Bianca and I'm going to tell her I'm going to find Bianca and I'm going to tell her that I lo-- and I'm going to tell her that I lo-- that I like her.
that I lo-- that I like her.
Good, do it.
that I like her.
Good, do it.
I'm going to.
Good, do it.
I'm going to.
Right after you tell I'm going to.
Right after you tell that Wall Dog girl Right after you tell that Wall Dog girl you're not going that Wall Dog girl you're not going to see her anymore.
you're not going to see her anymore.
Mm.
to see her anymore.
Mm.
What? Mm.
What? I can't tell Veronika What? I can't tell Veronika I don't want to see her anymore.
I can't tell Veronika I don't want to see her anymore.
Why can't you? I don't want to see her anymore.
Why can't you? Because if I do, Why can't you? Because if I do, then she'll try to kiss me Because if I do, then she'll try to kiss me and that's when my brain then she'll try to kiss me and that's when my brain goes dumb.
and that's when my brain goes dumb.
All right.
goes dumb.
All right.
Give me your wrist.
All right.
Give me your wrist.
Why are you holding my-- Give me your wrist.
Why are you holding my-- Ow! Why are you holding my-- Ow! You slapped me Ow! You slapped me with my own hand.
You slapped me with my own hand.
Yeah, now, man up.
with my own hand.
Yeah, now, man up.
Go tell Veronika Yeah, now, man up.
Go tell Veronika you're done with her Go tell Veronika you're done with her so you can get Bianca you're done with her so you can get Bianca back before it's too late.
so you can get Bianca back before it's too late.
Okay.
back before it's too late.
Okay.
Or maybe I could just-- Okay.
Or maybe I could just-- Ow! Or maybe I could just-- Ow! All right.
Ow! All right.
And see, All right.
And see, there's this other girl And see, there's this other girl that I really like there's this other girl that I really like and she really likes me that I really like and she really likes me and and she really likes me and You know, I feel like and You know, I feel like you're not listening.
You know, I feel like you're not listening.
And done.
you're not listening.
And done.
What's done? And done.
What's done? It's you and me together What's done? It's you and me together on a boat.
It's you and me together on a boat.
But Veronika on a boat.
But Veronika You don't like the boat? But Veronika You don't like the boat? I don't care about the boat.
You don't like the boat? I don't care about the boat.
I can make it a truck.
I don't care about the boat.
I can make it a truck.
It's not about the vehicle.
I can make it a truck.
It's not about the vehicle.
I'm saying I can't come It's not about the vehicle.
I'm saying I can't come meet you anymore I'm saying I can't come meet you anymore because I like someone else.
meet you anymore because I like someone else.
Oh yeah? because I like someone else.
Oh yeah? Is she prettier than me? Oh yeah? Is she prettier than me? I don't know.
Is she prettier than me? I don't know.
I mean, that's like asking, I don't know.
I mean, that's like asking, what's prettier, I mean, that's like asking, what's prettier, pizza or ice cream? what's prettier, pizza or ice cream? Because pizza's pretty.
pizza or ice cream? Because pizza's pretty.
But ice cream Because pizza's pretty.
But ice cream is also attractive.
But ice cream is also attractive.
Hold it right there! is also attractive.
Hold it right there! Let go of me.
Hold it right there! Let go of me.
What are you doing? Let go of me.
What are you doing? Stop it.
Let go.
What are you doing? Stop it.
Let go.
How did you know Stop it.
Let go.
How did you know she was the Mad Granny? How did you know she was the Mad Granny? We were just-- she was the Mad Granny? We were just-- What? We were just-- What? She's the Mad Granny.
What? She's the Mad Granny.
Right.
She's the Mad Granny.
Right.
I know that.
Right.
I know that.
But how'd you know like I did? I know that.
But how'd you know like I did? We got her DNA But how'd you know like I did? We got her DNA off the umbrella she dropped We got her DNA off the umbrella she dropped at the bathroom ceremony off the umbrella she dropped at the bathroom ceremony and then we tracked her here.
at the bathroom ceremony and then we tracked her here.
How'd you find her? and then we tracked her here.
How'd you find her? You know How'd you find her? You know the usual ways.
You know the usual ways.
Hey! the usual ways.
Hey! Leave my backpack alone! Hey! Leave my backpack alone! No! Leave my backpack alone! No! Looks like we got a granny wig.
No! Looks like we got a granny wig.
Ugh.
Looks like we got a granny wig.
Ugh.
A granny dress.
Ugh.
A granny dress.
Ugh.
A granny dress.
Ugh.
And granny panties.
Ugh.
And granny panties.
Ugh.
And granny panties.
Ugh.
What have you got Ugh.
What have you got against Captain Man? What have you got against Captain Man? Yeah, why've you been against Captain Man? Yeah, why've you been dressing up like an old lady Yeah, why've you been dressing up like an old lady and whacking him dressing up like an old lady and whacking him with an umbrella? and whacking him with an umbrella? For revenge.
with an umbrella? For revenge.
Because it's Captain Man's fault For revenge.
Because it's Captain Man's fault all the other Wall Dogs Because it's Captain Man's fault all the other Wall Dogs are in jail.
all the other Wall Dogs are in jail.
Well, now that's where are in jail.
Well, now that's where you're going.
Well, now that's where you're going.
To jail.
you're going.
To jail.
Let's take her out of here.
To jail.
Let's take her out of here.
To jail.
Let's take her out of here.
To jail.
Yeah, I get it.
To jail.
Yeah, I get it.
So Yeah, I get it.
So You and me? So You and me? We're over.
You and me? We're over.
Hey, are there We're over.
Hey, are there any more candles? Hey, are there any more candles? Yeah, I got two more.
any more candles? Yeah, I got two more.
Cool, put them Yeah, I got two more.
Cool, put them on the coffee table.
Cool, put them on the coffee table.
Okay.
You go get the flowers on the coffee table.
Okay.
You go get the flowers from the counter.
Okay.
You go get the flowers from the counter.
Where do I put the flowers? from the counter.
Where do I put the flowers? Put them anywhere.
Where do I put the flowers? Put them anywhere.
Hey, guys.
Put them anywhere.
Hey, guys.
Jasper? Hey, guys.
Jasper? What are you doing here? Jasper? What are you doing here? We thought you were What are you doing here? We thought you were locked up in juvy for wazzing We thought you were locked up in juvy for wazzing in the ladies' room.
locked up in juvy for wazzing in the ladies' room.
I was, but my mom in the ladies' room.
I was, but my mom bailed me out.
I was, but my mom bailed me out.
Well, that's great, bailed me out.
Well, that's great, but you got to leave.
Well, that's great, but you got to leave.
Bianca's going to be here but you got to leave.
Bianca's going to be here any second.
Bianca's going to be here any second.
Wait, I thought you were done any second.
Wait, I thought you were done with Bianca.
Wait, I thought you were done with Bianca.
I was, but I called her with Bianca.
I was, but I called her and she's coming here tonight.
I was, but I called her and she's coming here tonight.
Why? and she's coming here tonight.
Why? So I can get back together Why? So I can get back together with her.
So I can get back together with her.
And just her.
with her.
And just her.
And just her.
And just her.
And just her.
Cool, but I need And just her.
Cool, but I need to talk to Piper.
Cool, but I need to talk to Piper.
No, you can yell to talk to Piper.
No, you can yell at Piper later.
No, you can yell at Piper later.
I'm not going to yell at her.
at Piper later.
I'm not going to yell at her.
Look, it was my fault I'm not going to yell at her.
Look, it was my fault that I broke her glass hat, Look, it was my fault that I broke her glass hat, so that I broke her glass hat, so voila.
so voila.
Whoa.
voila.
Whoa.
You found her Whoa.
You found her another glass hat? You found her another glass hat? Yeah.
another glass hat? Yeah.
I met this kid in juvy Yeah.
I met this kid in juvy who hooked me up.
I met this kid in juvy who hooked me up.
It's the last one in America.
who hooked me up.
It's the last one in America.
It cost me 200 bucks.
It's the last one in America.
It cost me 200 bucks.
Aw, that's so sweet of you.
It cost me 200 bucks.
Aw, that's so sweet of you.
Thanks.
Aw, that's so sweet of you.
Thanks.
Now, where's Piper? Thanks.
Now, where's Piper? She went next door Now, where's Piper? She went next door to borrow a sledgehammer.
She went next door to borrow a sledgehammer.
So, why don't you to borrow a sledgehammer.
So, why don't you come back tomorrow after school So, why don't you come back tomorrow after school and then we can-- come back tomorrow after school and then we can-- Hey, I got it.
and then we can-- Hey, I got it.
Hey, Piper.
Hey, I got it.
Hey, Piper.
Jasper? Hey, Piper.
Jasper? I thought the cops Jasper? I thought the cops took you to jail.
I thought the cops took you to jail.
They did, but-- took you to jail.
They did, but-- Wait.
They did, but-- Wait.
Is that a glass hat? Wait.
Is that a glass hat? Yeah, it is.
Is that a glass hat? Yeah, it is.
Jasper brought it for you.
Yeah, it is.
Jasper brought it for you.
Wait, it's a real one? Jasper brought it for you.
Wait, it's a real one? Yep.
Wait, it's a real one? Yep.
The last real one in America.
Yep.
The last real one in America.
[ doorbell rings .]
The last real one in America.
[ doorbell rings .]
Aah! [ doorbell rings .]
Aah! Come in! Aah! Come in! No.
That's Bianca.
Come in! No.
That's Bianca.
You guys have to leave before-- No.
That's Bianca.
You guys have to leave before-- Hey, Henry.
You guys have to leave before-- Hey, Henry.
Chloe? Hey, Henry.
Chloe? I'm back from the woods.
Henry! [ oven bell .]
When is he going to get here? I don't know.
I'm not in charge of when guys get here.
Well, did you make an appointment? Not exactly.
Of course you didn't.
Because you can't commit to anything.
That's not true.
I'm committed to finishing this banana.
Hey ho.
Here I am.
Good.
Please delete my thumbprint from Henry's locker.
Yeah.
We're not going to be sharing a locker anymore.
You want me to act surprised? Because I'm not.
Why are you not surprised? Let me guess.
She wants you two to be boyfriend and girlfriend, but you're not ready, so she's moving out.
Is that about it? That's not exactly it.
That's exactly it.
I thought so.
Look, Bianca, I'm almost finished with this banana I committed to eating.
Hey, Henry.
You want a mango? Yes.
You can't just bite into a mango.
You have to peel it first.
I do what I want.
You want to spit it out into my pocket? God, yes.
And then Bianca said she didn't want to be my locker buddy anymore she didn't want to be my locker buddy anymore just because I said to be my locker buddy anymore just because I said I wasn't sure I want just because I said I wasn't sure I want to be boyfriend and girlfriend.
I wasn't sure I want to be boyfriend and girlfriend.
Can you believe that? to be boyfriend and girlfriend.
Can you believe that? Yes.
Can you believe that? Yes.
I know.
Yes.
I know.
Wait, wait, yes? I know.
Wait, wait, yes? Yeah.
Wait, wait, yes? Yeah.
I'm on Bianca's side here.
Yeah.
I'm on Bianca's side here.
No.
I'm on Bianca's side here.
No.
No, that's the wrong side No.
No, that's the wrong side for you to be on.
No, that's the wrong side for you to be on.
What's on your head? for you to be on.
What's on your head? A glass hat.
What's on your head? A glass hat.
I just got it.
A glass hat.
I just got it.
Oh, I've heard of those.
I just got it.
Oh, I've heard of those.
What is a glass hat? Oh, I've heard of those.
What is a glass hat? It's a hat What is a glass hat? It's a hat made of glass.
It's a hat made of glass.
A lot of celebrities made of glass.
A lot of celebrities are wearing them.
A lot of celebrities are wearing them.
Okay.
Well, congrats are wearing them.
Okay.
Well, congrats on your glass hat, but Charlotte Okay.
Well, congrats on your glass hat, but Charlotte and I are having-- on your glass hat, but Charlotte and I are having-- Guess what? and I are having-- Guess what? What? Guess what? What? Don't care.
What? Don't care.
Okay, I can't believe Don't care.
Okay, I can't believe you're taking Bianca's side.
Okay, I can't believe you're taking Bianca's side.
Henry, you don't share you're taking Bianca's side.
Henry, you don't share a locker with a girl Henry, you don't share a locker with a girl unless you're really a locker with a girl unless you're really into that girl.
unless you're really into that girl.
I was into Bianca.
into that girl.
I was into Bianca.
But you wanted I was into Bianca.
But you wanted to leave your options open But you wanted to leave your options open for to leave your options open for I for I I don't know I I don't know what you're talking about.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I'm talking what you're talking about.
I'm talking I'm talking about I'm talking I'm talking about your Wall Dog friend, Veronika.
I'm talking about your Wall Dog friend, Veronika.
Your pretty little graffiti girl your Wall Dog friend, Veronika.
Your pretty little graffiti girl who you like to kiss.
Your pretty little graffiti girl who you like to kiss.
That who you like to kiss.
That that was undercover kissing.
That that was undercover kissing.
What? that was undercover kissing.
What? I was being Kid Danger What? I was being Kid Danger and my job I was being Kid Danger and my job was to get information from her.
and my job was to get information from her.
And what information was to get information from her.
And what information were you trying to find out? And what information were you trying to find out? What her mouth tastes like? were you trying to find out? What her mouth tastes like? Aah! There's a smudge What her mouth tastes like? Aah! There's a smudge on my hat.
Aah! There's a smudge on my hat.
Hey, where's the glass cleaner? on my hat.
Hey, where's the glass cleaner? Check the garage.
Hey, where's the glass cleaner? Check the garage.
Okay, this whole thing Check the garage.
Okay, this whole thing is about Bianca, not Veronika.
Okay, this whole thing is about Bianca, not Veronika.
Uh-huh.
is about Bianca, not Veronika.
Uh-huh.
And when was the last time Uh-huh.
And when was the last time you saw Veronika? And when was the last time you saw Veronika? I don't know.
you saw Veronika? I don't know.
Maybe last week, once I don't know.
Maybe last week, once or three times.
Maybe last week, once or three times.
I don't remember.
or three times.
I don't remember.
Hey, Charlotte.
I don't remember.
Hey, Charlotte.
Henry, I've been thinking Hey, Charlotte.
Henry, I've been thinking about your mom's chili all day.
Henry, I've been thinking about your mom's chili all day.
Okay.
about your mom's chili all day.
Okay.
Is there any left? Okay.
Is there any left? Can I have some? Is there any left? Can I have some? Yeah, there's some left Can I have some? Yeah, there's some left in the fridge.
Yeah, there's some left in the fridge.
Awesome.
in the fridge.
Awesome.
Chili, chili, chili, chili.
Awesome.
Chili, chili, chili, chili.
You know, I don't think Chili, chili, chili, chili.
You know, I don't think you're being very fair here.
You know, I don't think you're being very fair here.
Henry, I know you.
you're being very fair here.
Henry, I know you.
You want both girls.
Henry, I know you.
You want both girls.
You want to have You want both girls.
You want to have your cake and kiss it, too.
You want to have your cake and kiss it, too.
No, I just want your cake and kiss it, too.
No, I just want I just want my freedom No, I just want I just want my freedom because this is America.
I just want my freedom because this is America.
Oh my god.
because this is America.
Oh my god.
What? Oh my god.
What? Come on.
What? Come on.
It's true.
Come on.
It's true.
And I have the right to go out It's true.
And I have the right to go out with more than one girl.
And I have the right to go out with more than one girl.
I think it's even with more than one girl.
I think it's even in the Constitution, I think it's even in the Constitution, or the Torah, or something.
in the Constitution, or the Torah, or something.
Okay, then.
or the Torah, or something.
Okay, then.
Fine.
Okay, then.
Fine.
You want your freedom Fine.
You want your freedom from Bianca, so now she gets You want your freedom from Bianca, so now she gets her freedom from you.
from Bianca, so now she gets her freedom from you.
You know what? her freedom from you.
You know what? You're right.
You know what? You're right.
It's good Bianca and I broke up.
You're right.
It's good Bianca and I broke up.
Because that way It's good Bianca and I broke up.
Because that way I get my options, Because that way I get my options, she gets her options, I get my options, she gets her options, and now I have more room she gets her options, and now I have more room in my locker for sports balls.
and now I have more room in my locker for sports balls.
Where's my glass hat? in my locker for sports balls.
Where's my glass hat? Your glass hat? Where's my glass hat? Your glass hat? Yeah.
Your glass hat? Yeah.
I left it right here.
Yeah.
I left it right here.
Did you see it? I left it right here.
Did you see it? I saw a bowl.
Did you see it? I saw a bowl.
A bowl.
I saw a bowl.
A bowl.
Did you use my glass hat A bowl.
Did you use my glass hat as a bowl? Did you use my glass hat as a bowl? Uh as a bowl? Uh Where is it? Uh Where is it? It's in the microwave.
Where is it? It's in the microwave.
What? It's in the microwave.
What? It's not microwave safe.
What? It's not microwave safe.
Well, how was I supposed It's not microwave safe.
Well, how was I supposed to know? Well, how was I supposed to know? I'm sorry I broke your hat.
to know? I'm sorry I broke your hat.
It all just kind of happened.
I'm sorry I broke your hat.
It all just kind of happened.
My dad was It all just kind of happened.
My dad was an irresponsible scientist.
My dad was an irresponsible scientist.
I wanted an after-school job.
an irresponsible scientist.
I wanted an after-school job.
And by accident, I wanted an after-school job.
And by accident, he made me indestructible.
And by accident, he made me indestructible.
Aah! he made me indestructible.
Aah! I went into this crazy store Aah! I went into this crazy store and met I went into this crazy store and met a pretty interesting guy.
and met a pretty interesting guy.
I'm going to blow your mind.
a pretty interesting guy.
I'm going to blow your mind.
Now I protect I'm going to blow your mind.
Now I protect the good citizens of Swellview Now I protect the good citizens of Swellview who call me the good citizens of Swellview who call me He turned out to be who call me He turned out to be You know the name.
He turned out to be You know the name.
Captain Man! You know the name.
Captain Man! That's right, Henry.
Captain Man! That's right, Henry.
In time, I realized that That's right, Henry.
In time, I realized that being a superhero In time, I realized that being a superhero is a lot to handle alone.
being a superhero is a lot to handle alone.
He wanted some help.
is a lot to handle alone.
He wanted some help.
I needed a sidekick.
He wanted some help.
I needed a sidekick.
I, Henry Hart I needed a sidekick.
I, Henry Hart Pledge to never ever ever I, Henry Hart Pledge to never ever ever tell anyone Pledge to never ever ever tell anyone That I'm Captain Man's tell anyone That I'm Captain Man's secret sidekick.
That I'm Captain Man's secret sidekick.
It is done.
secret sidekick.
It is done.
Now we blow bubbles.
It is done.
Now we blow bubbles.
And fight crime.
Now we blow bubbles.
And fight crime.
Feels good.
Call it.
Up the tube! Oh, my boot.
Ha! Aah.
Hi.
Where'd you come from? Doesn't matter.
Because you look cute.
I was going for cute.
So, why don't we take a walk by Swellview Pond and then we can-- Wh-- Are those cans of spray paint? Yeah, so? You promised me.
No more graffiti.
Uh-huh.
You know, I could've taken you to jail with the rest of the Wall Dogs.
I know.
But I let you go on the condition that you'd stop spraying graffiti all over Swellview and and that feels really good.
Yeah.
We should probably kiss.
Well, then it's a good thing We should probably kiss.
Well, then it's a good thing I brought my lips.
Well, then it's a good thing I brought my lips.
Hey! You kids! I brought my lips.
Hey! You kids! Were you two about to kiss? Hey! You kids! Were you two about to kiss? I don't know.
Maybe.
Were you two about to kiss? I don't know.
Maybe.
Yeah, pretty much.
I don't know.
Maybe.
Yeah, pretty much.
Well, stop it! Yeah, pretty much.
Well, stop it! This is a park, Well, stop it! This is a park, not some kissatorium! This is a park, not some kissatorium! Sir not some kissatorium! Sir this park is for all citizens Sir this park is for all citizens of Swellview to use and enjoy this park is for all citizens of Swellview to use and enjoy and if this young lady and I of Swellview to use and enjoy and if this young lady and I want to kiss, and if this young lady and I want to kiss, then we have every right to-- want to kiss, then we have every right to-- Let's go somewhere else.
then we have every right to-- Let's go somewhere else.
That's right! Let's go somewhere else.
That's right! Just cross off! And sadly, according to city officials, there were no survivors.
Got to be more careful.
In other news yesterday, Swellview's own Captain Man was attacked again by the elderly woman who's come to be known as "The Mad Granny.
" It happened at a junior high school yesterday as Captain Man was speaking to kids about the importance of climate change.
You see, climate is like our weather.
And when it comes to weather, the last thing you want is change.
Because change is bad.
Now, sometimes change can be good like changing your underwear.
That helps everyone.
But with climate, change is our enemy.
Ow! What the-- Aah! Aah! Anyway, speaking of Captain Man, he'll be on hand tomorrow in Swellview Park, where the Vice Mayor will be hosting the official dedication of Swellview's first public bathroom that was built way back in 1898.
Mary, you know that bathroom.
I do.
So many memories.
Stop being so paranoid.
Oh, easy for you to say.
You don't have a crazy old lady Oh, easy for you to say.
You don't have a crazy old lady running around, whacking you You don't have a crazy old lady running around, whacking you with an umbrella.
running around, whacking you with an umbrella.
Relax.
with an umbrella.
Relax.
I'm here.
Relax.
I'm here.
I'm watching everything I'm here.
I'm watching everything like a hawk.
I'm watching everything like a hawk.
Stop that.
like a hawk.
Stop that.
Now, go.
Stop that.
Now, go.
Survey the park.
Now, go.
Survey the park.
Make sure the Mad Granny's Survey the park.
Make sure the Mad Granny's not here.
Make sure the Mad Granny's not here.
Okay.
not here.
Okay.
Yeah, I'll take some popcorn Okay.
Yeah, I'll take some popcorn in a souvenir toilet.
Yeah, I'll take some popcorn in a souvenir toilet.
Bianca? in a souvenir toilet.
Bianca? She's feeding him popcorn.
Bianca? She's feeding him popcorn.
Uh-huh.
She's feeding him popcorn.
Uh-huh.
It was funny.
Uh-huh.
It was funny.
Pardon me.
It was funny.
Pardon me.
Why are you interrupting-- Pardon me.
Why are you interrupting-- ooh.
Why are you interrupting-- ooh.
All right.
All right.
ooh.
All right.
All right.
Thank you for being here All right.
All right.
Thank you for being here to witness this official Thank you for being here to witness this official dedication of our city's to witness this official dedication of our city's very first public restroom dedication of our city's very first public restroom built way back in 1898.
very first public restroom built way back in 1898.
And now I give you built way back in 1898.
And now I give you our very own Captain Man.
And now I give you our very own Captain Man.
[ crowd cheering .]
our very own Captain Man.
[ crowd cheering .]
Oh god, the Mad Granny.
[ crowd cheering .]
Oh god, the Mad Granny.
Eat this, lady.
Oh god, the Mad Granny.
Eat this, lady.
[ screaming .]
Eat this, lady.
[ screaming .]
This isn't the Mad Granny.
[ screaming .]
This isn't the Mad Granny.
It's my mother.
This isn't the Mad Granny.
It's my mother.
Oh.
It's my mother.
Oh.
Well, then Oh.
Well, then no need to apologize.
Well, then no need to apologize.
Look.
no need to apologize.
Look.
Bianca's over there Look.
Bianca's over there feeding popcorn to some guy.
Bianca's over there feeding popcorn to some guy.
Oh, you mean Blake? feeding popcorn to some guy.
Oh, you mean Blake? I don't know.
Oh, you mean Blake? I don't know.
He's some dude in a red shirt I don't know.
He's some dude in a red shirt with-- who the heck is Blake? He's some dude in a red shirt with-- who the heck is Blake? He moved to Swellview with-- who the heck is Blake? He moved to Swellview about two weeks ago.
He moved to Swellview about two weeks ago.
Super nice guy.
about two weeks ago.
Super nice guy.
Who cares if he's nice? Super nice guy.
Who cares if he's nice? She can't be with him.
Who cares if he's nice? She can't be with him.
Why not? She can't be with him.
Why not? You said Why not? You said you wanted your freedom.
You said you wanted your freedom.
I don't remember saying that.
you wanted your freedom.
I don't remember saying that.
You said, "This is America.
I don't remember saying that.
You said, "This is America.
"I want freedom.
You said, "This is America.
"I want freedom.
"And I have the right "I want freedom.
"And I have the right to go with any girl I want.
" "And I have the right to go with any girl I want.
" Well, yeah.
to go with any girl I want.
" Well, yeah.
But that applies to me, Well, yeah.
But that applies to me, not Bianca.
But that applies to me, not Bianca.
Oh, so you get your freedom, not Bianca.
Oh, so you get your freedom, but Bianca should just sit Oh, so you get your freedom, but Bianca should just sit at home alone doing nothing.
but Bianca should just sit at home alone doing nothing.
Thank you.
at home alone doing nothing.
Thank you.
Can I go ahead Thank you.
Can I go ahead and get started? Can I go ahead and get started? Yeah, sure.
and get started? Yeah, sure.
Thank you.
Yeah, sure.
Thank you.
[ clears throat .]
Thank you.
[ clears throat .]
Bathrooms go by many names.
[ clears throat .]
Bathrooms go by many names.
Such as, the restroom.
Bathrooms go by many names.
Such as, the restroom.
The John.
Such as, the restroom.
The John.
The head.
The John.
The head.
The potty.
The loo.
The head.
The potty.
The loo.
The toidy.
The potty.
The loo.
The toidy.
Tinkle town.
The toidy.
Tinkle town.
Poo corner.
Tinkle town.
Poo corner.
The lavatory.
Poo corner.
The lavatory.
Hey, Piper.
The lavatory.
Hey, Piper.
Piper.
Hey, Piper.
Piper.
You know where Piper.
You know where there's a bathroom? You know where there's a bathroom? Don't talk to me.
there's a bathroom? Don't talk to me.
You broke my glass hat.
Don't talk to me.
You broke my glass hat.
I said I was sorry.
You broke my glass hat.
I said I was sorry.
Now, come on.
I said I was sorry.
Now, come on.
I really need a bathroom.
Now, come on.
I really need a bathroom.
There's one over there.
I really need a bathroom.
There's one over there.
That's the one There's one over there.
That's the one they're dedicating.
That's the one they're dedicating.
They won't let anyone they're dedicating.
They won't let anyone go in there.
They won't let anyone go in there.
Okay, go in there.
Okay, just go around the back Okay, just go around the back and use the girls' bathroom.
just go around the back and use the girls' bathroom.
But that's for girls.
and use the girls' bathroom.
But that's for girls.
I'll get in trouble But that's for girls.
I'll get in trouble if I go in there.
I'll get in trouble if I go in there.
No.
if I go in there.
No.
I'll come stand guard No.
I'll come stand guard and let you know I'll come stand guard and let you know if someone's coming.
and let you know if someone's coming.
Okay.
Thanks.
Come on.
if someone's coming.
Okay.
Thanks.
Come on.
It was 30 years ago, Okay.
Thanks.
Come on.
It was 30 years ago, my dad had taken me fishing.
It was 30 years ago, my dad had taken me fishing.
Oh, man.
my dad had taken me fishing.
Oh, man.
What? Oh, man.
What? The guy Blarf just whispered What? The guy Blarf just whispered something in Bianca's ear The guy Blarf just whispered something in Bianca's ear and she laughed.
something in Bianca's ear and she laughed.
His name is Blake.
and she laughed.
His name is Blake.
I pronounce it "Blarf.
" His name is Blake.
I pronounce it "Blarf.
" That's when my dad told me I pronounce it "Blarf.
" That's when my dad told me about Swellview's That's when my dad told me about Swellview's oldest public restroom.
about Swellview's oldest public restroom.
This bathroom was a-- oldest public restroom.
This bathroom was a-- Ah, great.
This bathroom was a-- Ah, great.
Now their elbows are touching.
Ah, great.
Now their elbows are touching.
What do they think this is, Now their elbows are touching.
What do they think this is, their honeymoon? What do they think this is, their honeymoon? Kid Danger, their honeymoon? Kid Danger, isn't that the Mad Granny? Kid Danger, isn't that the Mad Granny? We must all be thankful.
isn't that the Mad Granny? We must all be thankful.
Uh-oh.
We must all be thankful.
Uh-oh.
And in the words Uh-oh.
And in the words of the great And in the words of the great Sammy Davis Junior-- of the great Sammy Davis Junior-- Come on.
Sammy Davis Junior-- Come on.
Ugh.
Come on.
Ugh.
He's in there.
Ugh.
He's in there.
I told him He's in there.
I told him it was for ladies only, I told him it was for ladies only, but he went in anyway.
it was for ladies only, but he went in anyway.
And I think he has a knife.
but he went in anyway.
And I think he has a knife.
[ screams .]
And I think he has a knife.
[ screams .]
That's for my glass hat.
[ screams .]
That's for my glass hat.
[ grunting .]
That's for my glass hat.
[ grunting .]
I'm okay.
[ grunting .]
I'm okay.
I'm okay.
I'm okay.
I'm okay.
Hey.
Don't worry.
I'm here.
I'm okay.
Hey.
Don't worry.
I'm here.
Thanks.
Hey.
Don't worry.
I'm here.
Thanks.
I had to go.
Thanks.
I had to go.
Nobody else was even in there.
I had to go.
Nobody else was even in there.
And I had my eyes closed.
Nobody else was even in there.
And I had my eyes closed.
Piper! And I had my eyes closed.
Piper! Piper, where are you? Piper! Piper, where are you? Piper! Piper, where are you? Piper! Piper! Piper! Piper! I don't even want to know.
Piper! I don't even want to know.
We must all be thankful.
all.
I don't even want to know.
We must all be thankful.
all.
And in the words We must all be thankful.
all.
And in the words of the great Sammy And in the words of the great Sammy [ slow motion .]
Davis Junior, of the great Sammy [ slow motion .]
Davis Junior, about-- oh! [ slow motion .]
Davis Junior, about-- oh! See, what we learned there about-- oh! See, what we learned there is that when an old lady See, what we learned there is that when an old lady wants to beat me is that when an old lady wants to beat me and you're not paying attention, wants to beat me and you're not paying attention, what happens to old Ray? and you're not paying attention, what happens to old Ray? You get beaten.
what happens to old Ray? You get beaten.
I'm sorry, what was that? You get beaten.
I'm sorry, what was that? You get beaten.
I'm sorry, what was that? You get beaten.
I get beaten.
You get beaten.
I get beaten.
Yeah.
I get beaten.
Yeah.
[ slow motion grunting .]
Yeah.
[ slow motion grunting .]
And the beat goes on.
[ slow motion grunting .]
And the beat goes on.
You know, Henry, And the beat goes on.
You know, Henry, when I picked you You know, Henry, when I picked you as my sidekick, it was because when I picked you as my sidekick, it was because I thought I could always as my sidekick, it was because I thought I could always count on you to be by my side.
I thought I could always count on you to be by my side.
I mean, it's in the name, count on you to be by my side.
I mean, it's in the name, "sidekick.
" I mean, it's in the name, "sidekick.
" Why'd you let me down? "sidekick.
" Why'd you let me down? Because I Why'd you let me down? Because I I saw Bianca there.
Because I I saw Bianca there.
Bianca? I saw Bianca there.
Bianca? What, that girl Bianca? What, that girl you used to go out with What, that girl you used to go out with who was there yesterday you used to go out with who was there yesterday with that super handsome who was there yesterday with that super handsome new guy? with that super handsome new guy? He's not super handsome.
new guy? He's not super handsome.
I was told He's not super handsome.
I was told he's super handsome.
I was told he's super handsome.
Who told you that? he's super handsome.
Who told you that? Wait.
Who told you that? Wait.
I thought Bianca got cast Wait.
I thought Bianca got cast on that reality show, I thought Bianca got cast on that reality show, "Kids in the Woods.
" on that reality show, "Kids in the Woods.
" No, no, that was Chloe.
"Kids in the Woods.
" No, no, that was Chloe.
Another girl Henry No, no, that was Chloe.
Another girl Henry used to like.
Another girl Henry used to like.
Hey, you can't blame me used to like.
Hey, you can't blame me for the Chloe thing.
Hey, you can't blame me for the Chloe thing.
She's the one for the Chloe thing.
She's the one who left me for the woods.
She's the one who left me for the woods.
Fine, but you're the one who left me for the woods.
Fine, but you're the one who messed things up Fine, but you're the one who messed things up with Bianca.
who messed things up with Bianca.
I'm over Bianca.
with Bianca.
I'm over Bianca.
Then why do you care I'm over Bianca.
Then why do you care if she's with another guy? Then why do you care if she's with another guy? Because I love her.
if she's with another guy? Because I love her.
What? Because I love her.
What? Oh, life is hard.
What? Oh, life is hard.
You know what? Oh, life is hard.
You know what? I don't care what girl You know what? I don't care what girl or girls you want I don't care what girl or girls you want to hang out with.
or girls you want to hang out with.
I mean, look, to hang out with.
I mean, look, nobody knows the joy I mean, look, nobody knows the joy of many girls better than I do.
nobody knows the joy of many girls better than I do.
But when you're Kid Danger, of many girls better than I do.
But when you're Kid Danger, you have a responsibility.
But when you're Kid Danger, you have a responsibility.
Don't let me down again.
you have a responsibility.
Don't let me down again.
[ sighs .]
Don't let me down again.
[ sighs .]
All right.
[ sighs .]
All right.
I know what I'm going to do.
All right.
I know what I'm going to do.
What? I know what I'm going to do.
What? I'm going to find Bianca What? I'm going to find Bianca and I'm going to tell her I'm going to find Bianca and I'm going to tell her that I lo-- and I'm going to tell her that I lo-- that I like her.
that I lo-- that I like her.
Good, do it.
that I like her.
Good, do it.
I'm going to.
Good, do it.
I'm going to.
Right after you tell I'm going to.
Right after you tell that Wall Dog girl Right after you tell that Wall Dog girl you're not going that Wall Dog girl you're not going to see her anymore.
you're not going to see her anymore.
Mm.
to see her anymore.
Mm.
What? Mm.
What? I can't tell Veronika What? I can't tell Veronika I don't want to see her anymore.
I can't tell Veronika I don't want to see her anymore.
Why can't you? I don't want to see her anymore.
Why can't you? Because if I do, Why can't you? Because if I do, then she'll try to kiss me Because if I do, then she'll try to kiss me and that's when my brain then she'll try to kiss me and that's when my brain goes dumb.
and that's when my brain goes dumb.
All right.
goes dumb.
All right.
Give me your wrist.
All right.
Give me your wrist.
Why are you holding my-- Give me your wrist.
Why are you holding my-- Ow! Why are you holding my-- Ow! You slapped me Ow! You slapped me with my own hand.
You slapped me with my own hand.
Yeah, now, man up.
with my own hand.
Yeah, now, man up.
Go tell Veronika Yeah, now, man up.
Go tell Veronika you're done with her Go tell Veronika you're done with her so you can get Bianca you're done with her so you can get Bianca back before it's too late.
so you can get Bianca back before it's too late.
Okay.
back before it's too late.
Okay.
Or maybe I could just-- Okay.
Or maybe I could just-- Ow! Or maybe I could just-- Ow! All right.
Ow! All right.
And see, All right.
And see, there's this other girl And see, there's this other girl that I really like there's this other girl that I really like and she really likes me that I really like and she really likes me and and she really likes me and You know, I feel like and You know, I feel like you're not listening.
You know, I feel like you're not listening.
And done.
you're not listening.
And done.
What's done? And done.
What's done? It's you and me together What's done? It's you and me together on a boat.
It's you and me together on a boat.
But Veronika on a boat.
But Veronika You don't like the boat? But Veronika You don't like the boat? I don't care about the boat.
You don't like the boat? I don't care about the boat.
I can make it a truck.
I don't care about the boat.
I can make it a truck.
It's not about the vehicle.
I can make it a truck.
It's not about the vehicle.
I'm saying I can't come It's not about the vehicle.
I'm saying I can't come meet you anymore I'm saying I can't come meet you anymore because I like someone else.
meet you anymore because I like someone else.
Oh yeah? because I like someone else.
Oh yeah? Is she prettier than me? Oh yeah? Is she prettier than me? I don't know.
Is she prettier than me? I don't know.
I mean, that's like asking, I don't know.
I mean, that's like asking, what's prettier, I mean, that's like asking, what's prettier, pizza or ice cream? what's prettier, pizza or ice cream? Because pizza's pretty.
pizza or ice cream? Because pizza's pretty.
But ice cream Because pizza's pretty.
But ice cream is also attractive.
But ice cream is also attractive.
Hold it right there! is also attractive.
Hold it right there! Let go of me.
Hold it right there! Let go of me.
What are you doing? Let go of me.
What are you doing? Stop it.
Let go.
What are you doing? Stop it.
Let go.
How did you know Stop it.
Let go.
How did you know she was the Mad Granny? How did you know she was the Mad Granny? We were just-- she was the Mad Granny? We were just-- What? We were just-- What? She's the Mad Granny.
What? She's the Mad Granny.
Right.
She's the Mad Granny.
Right.
I know that.
Right.
I know that.
But how'd you know like I did? I know that.
But how'd you know like I did? We got her DNA But how'd you know like I did? We got her DNA off the umbrella she dropped We got her DNA off the umbrella she dropped at the bathroom ceremony off the umbrella she dropped at the bathroom ceremony and then we tracked her here.
at the bathroom ceremony and then we tracked her here.
How'd you find her? and then we tracked her here.
How'd you find her? You know How'd you find her? You know the usual ways.
You know the usual ways.
Hey! the usual ways.
Hey! Leave my backpack alone! Hey! Leave my backpack alone! No! Leave my backpack alone! No! Looks like we got a granny wig.
No! Looks like we got a granny wig.
Ugh.
Looks like we got a granny wig.
Ugh.
A granny dress.
Ugh.
A granny dress.
Ugh.
A granny dress.
Ugh.
And granny panties.
Ugh.
And granny panties.
Ugh.
And granny panties.
Ugh.
What have you got Ugh.
What have you got against Captain Man? What have you got against Captain Man? Yeah, why've you been against Captain Man? Yeah, why've you been dressing up like an old lady Yeah, why've you been dressing up like an old lady and whacking him dressing up like an old lady and whacking him with an umbrella? and whacking him with an umbrella? For revenge.
with an umbrella? For revenge.
Because it's Captain Man's fault For revenge.
Because it's Captain Man's fault all the other Wall Dogs Because it's Captain Man's fault all the other Wall Dogs are in jail.
all the other Wall Dogs are in jail.
Well, now that's where are in jail.
Well, now that's where you're going.
Well, now that's where you're going.
To jail.
you're going.
To jail.
Let's take her out of here.
To jail.
Let's take her out of here.
To jail.
Let's take her out of here.
To jail.
Yeah, I get it.
To jail.
Yeah, I get it.
So Yeah, I get it.
So You and me? So You and me? We're over.
You and me? We're over.
Hey, are there We're over.
Hey, are there any more candles? Hey, are there any more candles? Yeah, I got two more.
any more candles? Yeah, I got two more.
Cool, put them Yeah, I got two more.
Cool, put them on the coffee table.
Cool, put them on the coffee table.
Okay.
You go get the flowers on the coffee table.
Okay.
You go get the flowers from the counter.
Okay.
You go get the flowers from the counter.
Where do I put the flowers? from the counter.
Where do I put the flowers? Put them anywhere.
Where do I put the flowers? Put them anywhere.
Hey, guys.
Put them anywhere.
Hey, guys.
Jasper? Hey, guys.
Jasper? What are you doing here? Jasper? What are you doing here? We thought you were What are you doing here? We thought you were locked up in juvy for wazzing We thought you were locked up in juvy for wazzing in the ladies' room.
locked up in juvy for wazzing in the ladies' room.
I was, but my mom in the ladies' room.
I was, but my mom bailed me out.
I was, but my mom bailed me out.
Well, that's great, bailed me out.
Well, that's great, but you got to leave.
Well, that's great, but you got to leave.
Bianca's going to be here but you got to leave.
Bianca's going to be here any second.
Bianca's going to be here any second.
Wait, I thought you were done any second.
Wait, I thought you were done with Bianca.
Wait, I thought you were done with Bianca.
I was, but I called her with Bianca.
I was, but I called her and she's coming here tonight.
I was, but I called her and she's coming here tonight.
Why? and she's coming here tonight.
Why? So I can get back together Why? So I can get back together with her.
So I can get back together with her.
And just her.
with her.
And just her.
And just her.
And just her.
And just her.
Cool, but I need And just her.
Cool, but I need to talk to Piper.
Cool, but I need to talk to Piper.
No, you can yell to talk to Piper.
No, you can yell at Piper later.
No, you can yell at Piper later.
I'm not going to yell at her.
at Piper later.
I'm not going to yell at her.
Look, it was my fault I'm not going to yell at her.
Look, it was my fault that I broke her glass hat, Look, it was my fault that I broke her glass hat, so that I broke her glass hat, so voila.
so voila.
Whoa.
voila.
Whoa.
You found her Whoa.
You found her another glass hat? You found her another glass hat? Yeah.
another glass hat? Yeah.
I met this kid in juvy Yeah.
I met this kid in juvy who hooked me up.
I met this kid in juvy who hooked me up.
It's the last one in America.
who hooked me up.
It's the last one in America.
It cost me 200 bucks.
It's the last one in America.
It cost me 200 bucks.
Aw, that's so sweet of you.
It cost me 200 bucks.
Aw, that's so sweet of you.
Thanks.
Aw, that's so sweet of you.
Thanks.
Now, where's Piper? Thanks.
Now, where's Piper? She went next door Now, where's Piper? She went next door to borrow a sledgehammer.
She went next door to borrow a sledgehammer.
So, why don't you to borrow a sledgehammer.
So, why don't you come back tomorrow after school So, why don't you come back tomorrow after school and then we can-- come back tomorrow after school and then we can-- Hey, I got it.
and then we can-- Hey, I got it.
Hey, Piper.
Hey, I got it.
Hey, Piper.
Jasper? Hey, Piper.
Jasper? I thought the cops Jasper? I thought the cops took you to jail.
I thought the cops took you to jail.
They did, but-- took you to jail.
They did, but-- Wait.
They did, but-- Wait.
Is that a glass hat? Wait.
Is that a glass hat? Yeah, it is.
Is that a glass hat? Yeah, it is.
Jasper brought it for you.
Yeah, it is.
Jasper brought it for you.
Wait, it's a real one? Jasper brought it for you.
Wait, it's a real one? Yep.
Wait, it's a real one? Yep.
The last real one in America.
Yep.
The last real one in America.
[ doorbell rings .]
The last real one in America.
[ doorbell rings .]
Aah! [ doorbell rings .]
Aah! Come in! Aah! Come in! No.
That's Bianca.
Come in! No.
That's Bianca.
You guys have to leave before-- No.
That's Bianca.
You guys have to leave before-- Hey, Henry.
You guys have to leave before-- Hey, Henry.
Chloe? Hey, Henry.
Chloe? I'm back from the woods.
Henry! [ oven bell .]