How to Survive Being Single (2020) s02e02 Episode Script

Excuse me, I need this.
Fish, are you okay?
Yes, is that since
I stopped having sex,
I'm always hungry.
Having breakfast is good
cause I don't think about sex
when I'm eating.
Why so anxious?
It's like you gave up smoking.
It's a less destructive way
of replacing sex.
Just get laid. It's not like
it'll give you lung cancer.
What do you call an unwanted pregnancy?
I was in a good mood. Thanks.
Your chair fell over.
Let's sign him up for karate.
He can let out his aggression.
What are your plans?
Me? I'll crawl under the covers
and await death.
Isn't it time to
consider other options?
How many are there?
I don't know. Starbucks. Zara.
With my Master's?
But your Master's is so useful
for playing Nintendo.
-It's an Xbox.
-Whatever.
HOW TO SURVIVE BEING SINGLE
Where are you, you jerk?
We're starting preproduction,
and I can't find you.
Hey, Nat. Everything's great here
Nat, I feel so sick
Sabrina?
Hey, Sebas.
I'm in Mexico City for a few hours.
Want to get together?
I'll call you later and we'll plan it,
okay?
Why are you smiling like that?
Check it out.
Sabrina from camp in Wisconsin?
She's here and wants to see me.
No choice.
This time, you have to do her.
As long as she doesn't
remember the incident.
When you got into the water
wearing a thong?
No, when I got a hard-on at Pinocchio.
Oh, yeah. You cried!
You were a nerd, but still liked you.
I know, man. What if I can't get it up?
Amateur. Come with me.
If the issue is getting hard,
I have blue, gold, or red pills.
Take your pick.
I'm not an old man, dude.
Don't turn your back on science.
This can make you last up to 36 hours!
Have you fucked for 36 hours?
Not non-stop, idiot. You'd die!
What is that?
It's my new bionic egg-scrambling arm!
How much was it?
$10,000. But it doesn't matter. Look!
It also makes drinks.
But if you remove the glass,
it looks like it's masturbating!
Gonzo,
how much did this cost?
It was a bargain, like $15,000.
-Dude.
-Yeah?
Have you invested
in an indie film
from a promising director?
Bad idea. I don't like to throw money.
But what if the director
was your best friend?
Sorry. After what happened with Fish,
I don't mix business and friends.
Besides, my manager is in Fiji
and it's very hard to contact him.
Or we could ask Daniel.
He'd never play with your money.
What do you think,
bionic egg-scrambling arm?
That's a yes.
-You think?
-Look at it go. That's commitment.
Dearest, everything's in place
with the funds.
I hope this finds you well.
My warmest regards.
Okay.
Nat, we're on fire!
No more. We got the funds.
No, we're literally on fire.
It's the microwave!
Doris put a fork in it again.
What do you mean, again?
What's going on?
Watch out!
Today we're going to talk
about social pressure.
Who here has sent selfies?
Who's sent nudes?
Guilty!
No need to feel ashamed.
Nowadays, one in four people,
adolescents and adults,
has sent naked pictures.
It's become so common
that sometimes
it can feel like an obligation.
-Gaby, have you sent nude pics?
-No, miss!
This just seems like
an inappropriate topic for the class.
Don't laugh! She has a valid point.
The point is that with peer pressure,
we have a lot of options.
The most important thing is to know
Don't do anything
you don't want to.
Nude pics aren't
something to be ashamed of,
but it's subtle.
We all make mistakes.
You might send it to a friend
instead of the guy you like,
that friend might think
it was on purpose,
when it wasn't.
Well, deep down, maybe it was.
No nudes, no interest.
No decent man will make you feel guilty
about not doing things
you're not happy with.
This is the golden rule. Write down!
Fire me in the dick and see what happens.
Let's see
I'll get it.
I could take her to that place.
As long as you don't get a hard-on
or wear a thong,
you might get lucky tonight.
Are you talking about camp?
Sabrina is coming to Mexico,
but she picked the worst night.
Why are they here?
Came for business.
something you've never done.
The investment plan is fireproof.
I told you, if it's viable, I'll invest.
ALMOST AT THE END
Don't do it. You'll lose all your money.
What?
-See?
-No!
Did you see the "potential returns"?
It's wrong. The post-pandemic world
isn't made for indie films.
-I told you so.
-Traitors.
You know what? I don't need you.
I haven't collected
my royalties for Dumped in years.
Buy all the masturbating toys you want.
That bionic arm is a great investment.
There are other options, relax.
Pieces of shit, I hate you.
-Love you, Fish.
-Me too.
Here, Fish.
I washed them for you.
Most of yours have holes.
I want you to be okay here.
Thanks, but I'm wearing Daniel's.
I'm at the hotel. Where are you?
Sorry, I was working.
But just to remind you,
my plane leaves at midnight.
I'll see you before then.
-Hurry up.
-Next!
See you. Bye.
Sebastián Ybarra.
I'm here for my Despecha-dos royalties.
Here you go.
Thanks.
-122 pesos!
-Were you expecting a million?
-Thanks.
-Next!
I should've been a lawyer.
"Should haves" unexisting.
If they did
PAY TO EDGAR VIVAR
$100,000.00 MXN
would I have mentioned them?
Would I have chosen the art
of knowing what fails so frequently
despite such huge expectations?
The important thing
is mastering your trade,
whether it be acting,
carpentry,
or love.
Wow, Maestro Vivar.
I needed that.
You can listen to this
and other reflections
in Monologues by Vivar, only on stage.
How many tickets you want?
Two? For you and your darling?
Do you take checks?
Cash only.
Okay, well, how much?
-3,500 pesos.
-For two?
Each.
Each? It's more expensive
than The Lion King.
We'll make you feel alive.
Nice to meet you.
It was a pleasure to meet you.
Is Sonia interviewing people?
Yes, I think she's looking for a CFO.
-For here?
-Yes.
Does it have to be today?
Yes, she's interviewing until 2:00.
No matter if I was banned
from finance circles!
This is a different industry, honey.
Nobody knows you here.
Take a chance.
Or we can make little bowls for dipping
your green beans.
Of course.
It could be good.
Excuse me.
Hi. You look so handsome.
-Bring your CV?
-Got it.
Good luck.
Honey.
That's it! You can do it!
You can't imagine what just happened here.
Where are you?
I came to the bank to get the check.
So, it's that easy, huh?
More or less. It's the first one.
There are three checks.
so I came for the first one.
Ybarra? Yes, coming.
I have to go, Nat. They're calling me
and the line is crazy.
Okay, see you later, bye.
Why throw away 122 pesos?
Can we talk?
I have a problem.
With a CV like this
you should be on Wall Street or something!
I know, but I'm looking for
a more relaxed environment
for my mental health.
This is the place.
What are your salary expectations?
Sonia, I'm glad you asked.
I'll just jot down a little number
for you.
Like in the movies.
Okay.
Good. Thank you.
Thank you.
It was my pleasure.
How'd it go?
-And?
-It went well.
Just waiting for it to start.
Really?
Let's send Fish to the movies.
I think SpongeBob is playing.
-He loves it.
-Good idea.
-See you at home.
-Okay.
Hey, Teach, wanna go to the prom
with one of your students?
You have too much free time.
But I made you laugh.
Miss Fabiana's boyfriend!
No, he's not.
Thanks.
Now they'll think I date kids.
Let's go make out at the movies.
Fuck buddies don't go out.
Anyway, I can't. I'm meeting Mafer.
What does your fuck buddy guide
say about giving rides?
Let me see.
Oh, look, that's 100% fine.
Then I'll give you a ride
and you can give me a blow job.
I'd love to Gonzo,
but I just took communion.
I can still taste Jesus.
Soon you'll be tasting me too.
You already spent
all the money I lent you?
Sorry. I swear I'll pay you back.
I've tried everything.
Today I even went
to pick up my Dumped royalty check,
but it was 20 pesos.
Okay, sure, 20 pesos?
-Seriously.
-What?
I bought a car.
Really?
My management is shit.
We have the same one.
-What do I do?
-Look.
Tell the truth.
Be honest with everyone,
especially Natalia.
She's your partner.
She's your friend.
-It's the correlation
-I'm checking it.
-It matches.
-No, it's perfect.
-I'll mark it.
-I was looking at that.
Sebas! Come here!
What about the check?
Did you get it?
Is everything okay?
I know I should have told you
all this before.
What's up?
We didn't get the funds.
What?
We didn't get the funds.
No, I heard you.
-We didn't get the funds?
-What?
-We didn't get it?
-Seriously?
-We didn't get the funds!
-We didn't get the funds!
You're asking
if we got the funds this year?
no.
-For this project? No.
-So you lied.
The word "lie"
is a very strong word.
I would call it
a reinterpretation of reality.
-What the fuck?
-Reinterpret this!
My husband left me for this!
Listen, you piece of shit.
These crew all worked
five weeks without pay
because of me.
I produced Amores Perros.
I'm not your bitch.
I have a reputation.
You're just a shitty loser.
Fuck you, cocksucker.
I'm sorry, Tita Lombardo!
Please, stay!
I lied and said that only because
you're the best team
I've ever worked with.
Nat.
Wow.
Nat.
How do I look?
Hold on.
Are you going to kiss
the quarterback goodbye?
I told you, I took communion.
I can't use my mouth for sexual purposes.
Fine, see you later.
Nat, can we talk?
On my way. The GPS says
I'll be there in 15 min.
Shit.
Take that, Danielito!
You're bad at this, I screwed you.
He killed you, Fish.
I hate this game.
You suck.
Hey, Mafer.
Hello, honey.
-Wine! Should I get some glasses?
-No, Fish.
500,000 pesos, Daniel?
Who are you?
A corrupt congressman?
It's bad-news wine. I'll have some anyway.
-I'm talking to him.
-Sure.
I can't work for free.
Want me to take my CV to Zara?
More sarcasm, wow.
-You know how he is.
-Good.
Listen, you need a plan.
A plan?
Why didn't I think of having a plan?
You've never wanted
to work with your dad. Okay.
But you refuse to work anywhere else.
Yet another conversation
-where you mention him.
-Can you open this?
You're not hearing me.
Not listening.
We can all hear you perfectly.
-Right?
-I'm listening.
Come on, Mafer, relax!
You need to calm down.
Count to ten. You are distracting me.
-I'll clean it up.
-Get out.
-I'll do it.
-Get out.
-Go home.
-Dani.
Go home to your mother.
Get out of here!
I'm going.
I bought that.
This is for hunger.
Hurry up!
Okay, see you later.
Don't even think of it!
We need to talk.
MONOLOGUES
BY VIVAR
Nat, can we talk?
Please answer me.
Hey, Sebas.
Hey.
Puberty did wonders for you.
Wow.
Will you help me?
I want say something.
Oh, yeah?
I had a really bad crush on you.
I'll tell you what.
I had a crush on you too.
Back then, I mean.
I'm over it. Now there's nothing.
Nothing there.
It's over.
I see.
Listen,
remember when we kissed at the lake?
Of course I do!
They had to pull our braces apart!
-It was the best kiss ever.
-Worst kiss ever.
Not true.
When was the last time you were so close
to someone for so long?
Not that long ago.
Okay.
But
if it was the worst kiss ever,
we need to fix that.
What do you mean?
-Is that Edgar Vivar?
-Yes.
We're friends. He gave me the tickets.
All the world's a stage,
and everyone are
merely players.
I am
the map.
Where are we going?
What is your name?
And that's it.
Life
is like a box of chocolates.
You never know
what you're gonna get.
What did you bring me to?
It's darkness, it's shadow,
but it's also light,
love and hate.
He's a genius.
I have a feeling
we're not in Kansas anymore, Toto.
Follow the yellow brick road.
I love Dalmatian fur.
But who
who loves me?
Nobody loves her!
She only wants a coat.
-Torito!
-No!
Torito!
No, not Torito!
Torito!
That's it.
Simba
you've forgotten me.
Remember
who you are.
Remember, King Simba.
Remember who you are!
Stand up! Show some respect!
Maestro Vivar.
Glad I caught you. I am grateful.
Big fan. It's an honor.
It was amazing.
Amazing.
It was just what I needed.
I was making a movie,
but the funding fell through
Things are
a little difficult.
Oh, please!
You snowflakes can't handle anything.
Look at me.
Besides this one,
I'm doing four plays,
choral poetry and a wonderful project
called Revival of El Chavo.
I only had the one thing.
The art
is the most important part
of what you have to say.
Everything else
is just for show.
You have to work hard.
-Of course.
-You have to
-emphasize.
-Sure.
Can you help me get dressed?
-Of course.
-Right here.
-Is this it?
-Yes. Help me.
-This?
-Yes, that's it.
Like this?
-That's how it goes.
-Like this?
-I let it fall?
-Let it go. Trust it. Done. There we go.
-Perfect.
-Is that it?
Sorry! I gotta go.
There's a sale on today.
-Of course.
-Three for two!
Bye, Maestro Vivar!
Nat, I just need ten minutes tomorrow.
I swear I've found a solution.
-Sebas?
-Yes?
-I leave in three hours.
-Yes.
-We should get going.
-Yes!
-3 HOURS
UNTIL THE FLIGH
Okay, this is happening.
It's really happening.
I think they shrunk! There we go.
Is this a double knot?
I'll do it.
What teamwork. I'll get the condoms.
SEBI - I DID I
FOR YOUR OWN GOOD
Fish!
Can you give me two minutes?
Time is ticking.
Have a cookie while you wait.
-2.5 HOURS
UNTIL THE FLIGH
It's okay, you can stay here, no problem.
Everything will be fine.
What's going on?
What's going on is
Mafer doesn't wanna be with a loser.
You're kidding.
Can you put some pants on?
Show some empathy!
I thought we were alone.
-Sabrina is upstairs.
-Here?
The bonniest woman you ever met
is upstairs in your house
and you're just standing there?
Fish shift the condoms for cookies!
He gave me yellow lollipops.
He knows I hate them.
Here's everything you need.
-Thanks, man.
-Go on.
Are you sure?
You just broke up with Mafer.
-Save yourself.
-I'll save myself.
Mafer used to like yellow lollipops.
Come here.
Everything okay?
Dani split with his girlfriend,
but it's okay.
Want to help him?
-No!
-Okay.
Really?
Maria Fernanda!
Really?
Come here.
I wake up and I remember you at dawn
Really, Sebas?
I was distracted.
Give me two minutes.
Some other time.
Never leave for tomorrow
what you can do today.
And, in the meantime,
you can do your check-in.
Why are you doing this? Shut up!
I'm trying to copulate with a goddess.
-What?
-Which ones?
Yes, those!
So?
Did you like your cookies?
What kind of sick fuck
steals his friends' condoms?
No, what kind of sick fuck
takes a gold pill at 33?
I can't have sex with this song on.
-It's my kryptonite.
-He just got dumped.
Listening to this and getting drunk
is the least we can do.
It's etiquette.
It's protocol.
-Thank you.
-Do you want me to stay?
If you don't fuck her now,
it'll make me feel worse.
Don't say that.
She's doing check-in, so it's fine.
Which terminal?
-Two?
-She must arrive two hours before.
-2 HOURS
UNTIL THE FLIGH
-What?
-Actually, it's three.
-1 HOUR
UNTIL THE FLIGH
Shit, man,
I'm seeing that there's a protest
at the airport.
You won't make it.
-30 MINUTES
UNTIL THE FLIGH
Go get her, champ!
I just want to say
I'm only here for Daniel.
To me, you're still a pervert.
-What?
-you're still a pervert to me.
And for me
There's nothing harder than
Living without you!
I talked to them.
No. What are you doing?
They moved up my flight.
-15 MINUTES
UNTIL THE FLIGHT.
I know, but please!
I really like you. I'm nervous.
Please?
Okay.
-You can do this! Okay?
-Yes.
-You can do it.
-Yes!
We can do this!
Let me get some backup.
I don't think Daniel
is up to it right now.
Okay.
Is that allowed?
I had to document it.
Scared of a little competition?
It's like a bladed weapon.
Mine doesn't do that.
Scared?
No.
May the best man win.
Like this.
There!
-I'm doing ok?
-I'm talking to him.
Right.
Can you move it a bit?
My tongue went numb.
-What?
-Can you move it?
Again?
-Does it bother you?
-No.
Excuse me.
Is that good?
Want me to get in? Want me to
I guess not.
Yes!
Yes.
This feels so good.
Yes.
Yes?
-Was that good?
-Yes.
Delicious.
Is that it?
It's really hot!
Did you come?
Yes, did you?
Yeah, of course I did.
Want to go again?
-We can make it quick.
-No, but
I'd love to, but
my flight.
But, really, thanks for everything.
I had a great time.
We are both so different.
But I had a great time. You?
-Super.
-Really?
But, I'd love to uh…
Bye.
-Sebas?
-Yes?
I forgot this!
-Stay in touch.
-Can't forget that
There he is.
And? She seemed pretty excited
when she left.
She came and left.
Didn't even ask me if I'd finished!
Too bad. She was in a hurry.
These things happen.
Let's give Sebi a hug.
-Poor Sebas.
-Give him a hug.
Sebas!
It'll be all right.
Holy shit.
You have a third arm.
That's gross, man.
Help me. Come on.
-No!
-Stay away!
No!
Seriously, help me?
What's up?
I'm in a hurry.
Okay.
Thanks for coming.
Lights.
We don't have
a home to go to, Bobo.
As long as we're together,
we'll always have a home.
I'm not five years old.
I don't get this.
Please, Nat, wait!
Give me two more minutes.
What do you want?
Okay, maybe this isn't it, but
What do you say?
It's corny. I wanna rip my eyes out.
Okay.
That proves, how much I need you.
Why do you need me?
To make the film a play.
Are you serious?
Vivar directs, produces,
acts in his own play.
Just him. Nobody else.
Imagine how much we could save,
and we could use it for,
I don't know,
hiring an important actor.
No.
Forgive me.
I won't lie to you again.
I do this play with you or I don't do it.
Please, Natalia. Don't abandon us.
So
Do we have a play?
Creative Supervisor
Rodrigo Toscano