Hung s02e02 Episode Script

[KNOCKING.]
Oh, God.
[GROANS.]
Okay.
DELIVERYMAN: We have a drop-off.
- What? Mattress.
The lady said to bring it in.
- What lady? YAEL: Hi, Ray.
It's a Stearns & Foster.
It has a memory foam.
The bed remembers the shape of your Shh! I never asked you to buy me a bed.
I know, that's why it's called a gift.
- Go ahead.
RAY: Hold on.
This is crazy.
I can't accept this.
- Why not? - Because I don't feel comfortable with it.
You can fuck me, but you can't take a mattress? Don't be stupid, Ray.
I'm giving you a fantastic bed so you don't sleep like a homeless on a cot.
The cot is mine.
I like it.
All right, this is my house.
This is your house.
Let's keep them separate.
If I want a bed, I'll buy one.
Take it back.
Lenore! Excuse me.
T-Brain, what the fuck? If you refuse to notify me when you are meeting with a prospective client I have no choice but to take matters into my own hands.
- You followed me here? - Yes, I did.
You never answer my calls.
You clearly scoffed at what I think were very reasonable requests, so take notice.
From now on, I will be on you like white on rice.
I demand my place at the table.
Okay, fine, fine.
- Take off your blazer.
- What? The blazer.
Okay, put the blazer back on.
Don't speak and follow my lead.
Listen, all I want All we want, any of us really, is to be heard.
- Frances.
- So nice to meet you.
This is Tanya, my intern.
I brought her along to take notes.
I hope you don't mind.
Tanya, sweetheart, do you mind getting us some tea? [YELPS.]
Frances, I get it.
As a life coach I have worked with dozens of women your age.
You are still young and vibrant but people insist on seeing you as an older woman.
Thank you, Tanya.
Can I get two Equals, please? - I'm not the waiter, Lenore.
- Great.
I want to help you seize your future to create fulfillment in all areas of your life.
How does that sound? - I'm not sure I know what you mean.
LENORE: Of course not.
After my divorce, I was at sea floating, depressed.
But then I went on a journey to myself.
At this very special spa outside Tucson, Frances you will see God in the desert.
When I was there, I remembered what it was to be vital, to be free.
I can get you a discount if you want.
I have a friend.
Or you could take a very special journey right here in Detroit, very discreet.
- What my intern is trying to say - Why take an expensive trip when we can offer you pleasure right here in Detroit? Pure sexual pleasure, guilt-free.
- Oh! - I'm sorry.
I think Tanya's confused.
No, why should we beat around the bush? Let's be honest.
- I'm proud of our product.
- When you said life coach I didn't realize.
TANYA: No, I know.
Frances, it sounds radical, but if you just give it some thought I have been trying to have tea with that woman for six months.
I had to join a book club.
You weren't even selling Ray.
You were calling me your intern.
I called you intern because you have no idea how to speak to a woman like that.
Pure sexual pleasure? This isn't Horny Patty.
You can't just pull out a picture of a big dick and swipe her credit card.
This is a wealthy woman.
We are selling a lifestyle.
Tucson is the gateway to dick.
Have some fucking class.
I have class.
I'm extremely fucking classy.
Oh, my God.
Oh! Oh, my God, that's amazing.
Oh, my God.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh, you are a great screw, Richard.
[PHONE RINGING.]
Whew! - Wow.
Again.
- Your mother.
Mm-mm.
Peter.
That's the second time he's called while you were here.
Are you hungry? RAY: How do you feel about that? - About what? Your husband calling.
It's fine.
I think he wants to come back.
That's why he keeps calling.
He moved out and now he And now? I thought it was just a fight.
I told him to leave.
Then three days I mean, three weeks went by and he Who leaves his wife when she's pregnant? Sit.
But it sounds like maybe he might not want to leave.
- Right.
- So you just want to move on? Should I? I don't know.
I I mean, I don't have all the details.
Never mind.
I'm having fun.
I get excited thinking about when you're coming over.
I like the way you smell.
I like the way you leave your smell on me.
I like the feel of your cock.
I like working on the nursery and getting screwed every day.
If Peter comes home, I'll just be working on the nursery.
[CLAIRE SIGHS.]
RAY: I feel like an asshole.
TANYA: Why, Ray? Lenore says Claire is very happy.
This woman, she won't call her husband back because of me.
- How do you know that? - She told me, Tanya.
This woman is pregnant.
I might be ruining her life.
- Or maybe you're saving it.
- I am not saving it.
I I gotta go.
Hey, guys, guys, guys! - In the vans.
BOY: Yeah! All right.
That's the way you play baseball! Two and 0, men.
Two and 0.
- Come on.
- Ray.
RAY: Seat belts, guys.
MIKE: Who paid for the vans? That was money I saved up for the house.
The school didn't want to pay for buses so I got creative.
- It's only 400 bucks.
- Ray.
These guys aren't union.
They got no insurance.
Somebody's gonna find out and rain shit on both of us.
Don't worry so much.
One game at a time.
- Okay.
- Okay? Want to go to Shakers tonight, celebrate? Ladies' night, dollar drinks.
- I got plans.
- What plans? You live like a hermit.
Stop depriving yourself.
Everyone needs a little female loving from time to time, huh? That's me, Mike.
Deprived.
[DOORBELL RINGING.]
Weird.
It wasn't anybody.
What's that for? Darby ask me to make cake.
- What for? - I don't ask question.
- I make cake.
- She can be so hurtful.
- Teenagers hate everybody.
Pent-up hormones.
Once they have sex, they calm down.
You were a happy teenager because you were slut.
I would not call myself a slut.
It was a long time ago.
Maybe.
What are you doing with ex-husband? - What do you mean? - He call you.
You go bowling tonight.
I listen to voicemail on your cell phone.
Mother, you have got to stop doing that.
It is an invasion of privacy.
Old Polish saying: "You want husband, open your legs.
You want divorce, open your mouth.
" It's just bowling.
I can be married to Ronnie and be friends with Ray.
No, friends with first husband, goodbye second husband.
YAEL: You're such a stubborn.
How long are you going to leave my gift outside, huh? It's not a gift if I refuse to take it.
RAY: I always loved when I would arrive places early and she would show late.
I'd watch her as she looked for me.
I knew it wasn't, but somehow it just felt like date night.
I remember that shirt.
- Yeah? - Mm.
- You remember this one? - Oh.
Ray - Try it on.
- No.
- It's not gonna fit.
- Sure, it will.
It must have shrunk.
RAY: A date night with your kids Oh, you guys.
You here to bowl? DAMON: Yeah.
- All right.
RAY: - And your ex-mother-in-law and some random Polish lady.
And, yeah date night was officially fucked.
Well, I guess we're gonna need two lanes.
How much we playing for? JESSICA: Whoo! Mom! [ALL CHEERING.]
JESSICA: Whoo! JESSICA: Show us how it's done, Darb.
Okay.
- I haven't done this since high school.
- It's okay.
Just look at the arrows, not the pins.
RAY: Good old date night at Bertson's.
My turn.
Time to pay the reaper.
I lost 20 bucks to Lotte, just like old times.
Except for that.
It wasn't like old times at all.
"Use Screw A to attach Leg A to Shaft B.
" - All right.
- Sounds kind of dirty.
- Some kind of mind you got there.
- Oh, I'm the only one who thought it? Shaft? - What does that make you think of? - Me? Cribs.
[CLAIRE CHUCKLES.]
[PHONE RINGING.]
- Why don't you get it? - Nope, I don't wanna know.
I think you should pick it up.
I didn't ask for your opinion, Richard.
Look, he left me.
- See what he's got to say.
Why? - Doesn't matter.
He got laid off and he couldn't handle it.
He abandoned me seven months pregnant.
Claire, a lot of guys they get freaked out if they lose their job.
A lot of how we see ourselves is tied up in that shit.
Guess what.
We don't need the money.
I have plenty of money.
We had it when we got married.
I didn't have to work.
Well, that just makes him feel like a loser.
Whoa.
Why do you give a rat's ass about my husband? - I don't want to talk about it.
- Maybe he wants you back.
- This is none of your business.
- Maybe he loves you.
What the hell is wrong with you? Can you not see that this is not sexy? This is not sexy! - Yes? - Hi, Frances.
It's Tanya.
Lenore's associate.
I'm sorry to come by unannounced but we just wanted to stop by and bring over this "thank you" basket.
It's just It's a part of what we do.
Or you could think of it as an "I'm sorry" basket in case there was anything inappropriate or if we overstepped in any way.
All right.
I really don't have a need for it.
Do you think I could use your restroom? There's a Starbucks right down the road.
I know, I know, but I'm just really prone to bladder infections and it's just truly bad for me to hold it.
[TOILET FLUSHING.]
[TANYA SIGHS.]
Whew.
Thank you so much.
Much better.
Whew.
Wow, you still have your Christmas tree up? In April? Well, that's amazing.
What a great idea.
Every morning you wake up, it's Christmas.
My husband died on Christmas Eve.
I don't feel like throwing it out.
I'm sorry.
[FRANCES CLEARS THROAT.]
- Here.
- Wow, you're giving me a They're all from him.
I gave one to the water-bottle man and one to the rat-control fellow.
Uh Thank you.
That's really nice.
It is what it is.
You know, it's great I got you a gift too, right? You know, these croissants have words of wisdom baked into each one.
You were the inspiration for this entire basket.
I'm diabetic.
Allow me, then.
Mm.
Let's see what this one says.
[SPEAKS IN FRENCH.]
That's Edith Piaf.
- I don't speak French.
- Me neither.
But I do know what this means.
It means "I regret nothing.
" Plus I thought Piaf was relevant given that she's French and this is a croissant.
Do you need anything else from me? Is that a way of saying you want me to go? Frances, one more thing.
One more thing.
Before I go, I'm 42.
And when I'm Ionely, I don't want to go somewhere romantic or exotic, where I'm going to be even Ionelier.
What I want, what I really need, what makes me happy is to be held, to be fucked to have someone to be close to me.
And we have that Our business does.
We have a man, we have a beautiful man.
He can do that for you.
Let me get my card.
I'll be going now.
LENORE: Okay, Ray, it's my fault.
I confused you with my talk on stripper theory.
So let me simplify.
Your job is to take your penis and stick it in Claire's vagina when she tells you to and take it out when she tells you to.
You're not her shrink.
You are not her marriage counselor.
You are not her priest.
What you think doesn't matter.
She's not paying you to think.
Maybe she's paying you to look like you're thinking but really she's paying for your dick.
Yeah, and my dick and my brain are attached, Lenore.
- Then sever the tie.
- Have you ever done it? - What? - Had sex for money.
No.
Claire is an excellent customer.
Don't tell her she should go back to her husband ever again.
When you see her on Friday, you need to apologize.
I'm not doing this, Lenore.
And besides, even if I wanted to, I can't because I got a game this Friday.
- I'm a coach.
- You're a coach and a whore, Ray.
Coach first.
Wait, what's going on? - The meeting's over.
You missed it.
- What do you mean the meeting's over? - You said 5.
- I said 4.
Lenore, I know you said 5.
I'm not your intern.
Ray and I were both there at 4, so clearly you're the one that was wrong.
- What is that? - What? - Let me see that.
- No.
- Let me see it.
- What? It's a sweater.
I was cold.
Where did you get it? It's none of your business.
I got it from a friend who gave it to me for Christmas.
That's a Lanvin sweater, Tanya.
- Do you even know what a Lanvin is? - Yeah, I know.
Of course I know what a Lanvin is.
Then you know you can't afford it.
And neither can any of your friends.
Um You don't know who my friends are.
Really.
And Frances can afford it.
That's right, that Frances.
Frances gave you a Lanvin sweater? Yes, she did.
She gave it to me when I went over to her house to talk business.
I found her address and I went over and I brought lyric croissants and I took a chance and I saw this look in her eye and I think I sold her.
Lenore, I sold her on Ray.
You saw Frances behind my back? Yeah.
So? Wow.
I mean, I didn't do it to be mean.
I'm trying to be collaborative with you and Ray It's okay.
I'm just disappointed.
- That's all.
- Wait.
Something tells me you're not gonna enjoy that sweater, T-Brain.
It's bad karma and the color's all wrong for your complexion.
Darb.
I've been thinking about what you said the other day.
About how I live my whole life through men.
Yeah, I I wasn't trying to hurt you.
Oh, I know.
Anyway, I forgive you.
- I didn't say I was sorry.
- Yeah, but you probably will.
I'll just have to wait 20 years and I don't want to be hurt that long so I'm gonna forgive the future you, that delightful person who's gonna come to me and say: "Mom, I'm so sorry I gave you so much crap when I was 16.
I had no idea what life was like or how hard it would be.
" Well, thanks for the ride.
Oh, it's a pretty cake.
What's it for anyway? Somebody's birthday at the mall? Can you pick me up after 7? Be well.
[WOMEN SHOUTING.]
WOMAN 1: I love my curvy hips.
WOMAN 2: Yeah! WOMAN 1: I love my big ass.
I am not lazy.
I am not stupid.
Go and stuff your judgment.
I feel beautiful and I am beautiful.
I don't want to diet.
I don't need to diet.
Because a diet is a cure that doesn't work for a disease that doesn't exist.
ALL: Doesn't exist! I love my big butt.
WOMEN [CHANTING.]
: I love my big ass.
I love my big butt.
- Who is that? - I love my curvy hips.
- I love my big ass.
- My mom.
- I'm sorry.
- I love my big butt.
Hi, hey, hi.
- You were supposed to pick me up at 7.
- I know.
I was going to leave but I had to come over and see what all the hoopla was about.
Oh, heard the cheering.
What a great speaker.
She's so moving.
- Is this some sort of club meeting? - Mom.
Can you meet me in the car in, like, 20 minutes? - It's a movement.
- Like for black people, but for fat people.
- You girls aren't fat.
GIRL: Yes, we are.
We're beautiful.
We're fat and there's nothing wrong with it.
Okay.
Offer your mom some cake.
- She doesn't want any cake.
- Sure, she does.
Mrs.
Drecker, can I offer you a piece of Darby's cake? Nope.
And it's Haxon now.
Mrs.
Haxon.
- Just let her be.
- Why don't you want the cake? I had a late lunch.
[GIRLS CHUCKLING.]
JESSICA: Why is that funny? What's so funny? - I don't understand.
- No, Mom It's nothing.
It's just It's something that skinny people say.
No, I did.
At Bennigan's.
Soup, half salad, dressing on the side.
JESSICA: I swear I'm just not hungry.
Want me to eat the cake? I'll eat the cake.
- I'm gonna eat the cake.
- Mom, forget the cake, okay? Just go home.
WOMEN: Fat, so what? - Go.
Fat, so what? Fat, so what? Fat, so what? Fat, so what? Fat, so what? Fat, so what? LENORE [ON RECORDING.]
: If you've got an itch you know where to scratch.
Hi, it's Jessica.
Call me.
[SIGHS.]
Hi.
- Look, I'm sorry if I made you mad.
- No, it's fine.
People argue.
At least you're not depressed.
- Want some wine? - Yeah.
Look It's easy to say the word "ex.
" "My ex-wife.
My ex-husband.
" But you might find you don't like the way it feels after a little while.
Claire, you have a chance to have a family.
Lenore said you wouldn't talk about this anymore.
I know, but you You think I'm so great? You think I'm so different than your husband? - I don't know you, that's what's nice.
- I'm telling you.
I let people down every day.
There are people depending on me right now and I'm late because I'm here.
I had a wife too, and I wish I'd fought harder to keep her.
I don't want what happened to me to happen to you.
I don't want to do this with you anymore.
I'm leaving.
And I think you should give your husband another chance.
It's not because I don't like you.
I don't care if you like me or not.
I'm not stupid.
I know what I'm paying you for.
Thousand dollars to stay.
I'm gonna cook some macaroni and cheese then we are gonna sit and watch TV and eat it.
And then later we'll go upstairs.
And it'll be great.
Thousand bucks.
Last time.
Make it 1200.
RAY: Sometimes when you try to sleep your mind races a million miles an hour.
And you can't shut it off.
You can't sleep no matter how exhausted you are.
But sometimes those rare lucky times you just lay down and forget it all.
And sometimes a mattress is just a mattress.
And it feels fucking great.