iCarly s02e02 Episode Script

- Ahhhhhhhh.
- All right, keep it out.
Are you guys looking at it? Do you see this? Look at that.
Okay, Freddie, pull back.
And that answers our viewer's request which was, "will you please show me "an extreme close-up of carly's tongue?" My tongue appreciates your interest.
- Okay, till the next "iCarly" - Play us out, Freddie.
Baby, will you take me back? there I said it I said it, I said it baby, will you take me too? well, there I said it I said it, I said it and we're clear.
Good show, you guys.
- Thanks.
- We know.
- I'm all tired.
- Me too.
I need a bath.
- Ewww, don't take a bath, take a shower.
- What's wrong with takin' a bath? You sit there in your own wet dirt.
- Gross.
- Yeah.
- Awww, no, come on.
- What's the matter? Gibby forwarded me one of those annoying chain letter e-mails.
Oh yeah, the one about the ghost girl named consuela that haunts that bowling alley in cleveland? - Yeah.
- I got it this morning.
- Me too.
- Better forward it.
Yeah, you gotta send it to 20 people or else you'll have bad luck.
- Consuela's revenge.
I'm not forwarding the stupid e-mail.
You better.
It said the last person who didn't forward it, his hamster exploded.
Yeah, he was just running on his little wheel and then pffffft.
Yeah, pffffft.
Okay, no hamster went pffffft.
I don't believe in it, so I'm not doing it.
Delete.
Okay, but when you get butt warts, don't come cryin' to us.
Don't worry.
- Oh, my God.
A spider.
- Where? There on your cheek.
And your bad luck begins.
- Ha-ha.
- I'm not kidding.
- Dude, there really is a spider.
- Right under your eye.
- Yes.
- Well, get it off.
- Okay, okay, uh - Just grab it.
- Ooh, I can't, I can't, I can't.
- I'll get it.
I'll get it.
Just be careful.
- I got it.
- Oh.
Yes, granddad, I'm doing my homework right now.
Carly, carly, wait till you see what I found.
I gotta go.
Okay, love you too.
- What is that? - A pak-rat machine.
- Pak-rat? - Yeah, it's a really old video game from, like, the last century.
I've played versions of it online, but this is the original real deal.
One of the most popular video games of all time.
- Cool.
You think it'll work? - I don't know.
I gotta check out all the wiring and circuit boards and stuff.
- But shouldn't you be working on your labradoodle sculpture? - I got time.
That doctor's not coming to get it till Sunday.
Hey, did you look him up online? Yeah, his brother owns seven art galleries in Seattle and Vancouver.
- So make him happy.
- No worries.
I'm gonna build him the best labradoodle in the history of mixed-breed dog sculptures.
This thing must have been in that junk yard for years.
- How can you tell? - Well, I don't think this is supposed to be in there.
- Hold it.
- No.
Too slow, buddy.
Eat it, eat it, eat the cheese.
Carly, doorbell! You couldn't get the door? It's right there.
Okay, I'll get the door.
Hey, I thought you were Freddie.
If anyone else said that to me, I'd punch 'em in the mouth.
Sorry.
He just called and said he needs to borrow a tennis racket.
- Yeah, I don't care.
- What are you doing here? Ah, my mom told me I couldn't leave the house till I clean up my room, so I locked my door, snuck out the window, and took a bus here.
You got any meat? - Just go home and clean up your room.
- Will you come help me? - Uh.
- Come on.
Okay.
Hey, Spencer, will you drive me and Sam over to her house? Sure, just lemme finish this game.
Oh.
Did you see that? Eat the cheese, eat the cheese.
- What's he playing? - Pak-rat.
Some video game our ancestors used to play.
- Fredward Benson.
- Mom, would you - Freddie, lets go.
- Mom, calm down.
You got the tennis racket? - Yeah, one sec.
- Uh, what up with your little pink shorts? They were white, but somehow a red sock got in our washing machine and turned all my white clothes pink.
- Wow, that sounds like some pretty bad luck.
- It's consuela's revenge.
No, it was just a laundry mishap.
- Okay.
- Whatever you say.
Yeah.
Another 10,000 points, another extra rat.
I am supreme.
- Is that an old pak-rat machine? - Yeah, he found it at the junk - Freddie, let's go.
- I'm coming.
Bye.
- Later.
- See ya, pink pants.
- Carly, would you gimme a bite of my sandwich? - You are kidding me.
Come on, I'm starving.
- Thank you.
- You gonna drive us or not? - Spencer, Spencer, are you gonna drive us to Sam's or not? - As soon as I finish this game.
Ahhh, that was close.
A little bang-bang to the chitty chitty.
I am good.
I'll call a cab.
Hey.
- What's up? - You gotta see this video some kid sent in to "iCarly.
" - Ooh, is it good? - Good? The guy can pull his lower lip down over his chin.
- Ewww, gross.
Show me.
- 'Kay.
Gonna go full frame on this.
You are gonna die when you see how this guy - smoke.
- Whoa.
- Why's it smoking? - I don't know.
Maybe it's got a - it's consuela's revenge.
- Aah.
Sam and I told you you'd have bad luck if you didn't forward gibby's e-mail.
- This has nothing to do with consuela.
- Yes, it does.
I'm not leaving this room until you I'm going downstairs.
Carly listen, computers have technical problems all the time.
- Yeah, but they don't explode.
- It didn't explode you've been cursed by consuela 'cause you're too stubborn to forward gibby's e-mail.
- It's not that I'm stubborn - Just forward the e-mail.
Hold me tighter.
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
- What's that stuff? - Parts for my labradoodle sculpture.
Finally.
Wait, doesn't that rich guy want the sculpture by Sunday? - Yeah.
- And you haven't even started it yet? - I've been busy playing pak-rat.
- Busy.
- Hey what's this? - Bag of dog hair.
Oh - where'd you get a bag of dog hair? - I stopped by that pet grooming place down the street.
- Shampoodles? - Uh-huh.
- Hey, is this your high score? - Yup.
- 867,000.
- Uh-huh.
How long did it take you to score that high? Well, I started playing last night at around 11:00 and finished at maybe 6:00 A.
M.
? - You played pak-rat for seven hours straight? - Yeah, why? What happened when you had to pee? - Oh, see, I took this plastic bottle and taped it to my ankle, then ran a tube up my pants - Okay.
I get it.
Hey.
Hey, look at this.
The highest score on record for a single game of pak-rat was achieved by a girl named Sasha striker.
- Yeah, I've heard of Sasha striker.
- Yeah.
It says when she was only 16, she became the number one pak-rat player in the world.
Then she disappeared and no one's seen her since.
- Really? - Weird.
Whoa.
She scored 1,034,000 points in one game.
Not bad for a lady rat.
- I bet you could beat her score.
- Don't encourage him.
- I gotta beat that score.
- After you finish the labradoodle sculpture.
- Just a quick game.
- That doctor guy's coming to pick it up tomorrow.
- It'll be ready.
One game.
- At least start on the sculpture first? Tail's done.
Yes.
- Spencer.
Wake up.
- What happened? - Did you play pak-rat all night? - I don't know.
Why? Why is there a bagel in your pants? - I got hungry and then I - Come with me.
What about the labradoodle sculpture for that important doctor guy? - He's not picking it up till Sunday.
- Today is Sunday.
- It is? - Yes.
You have a problem.
You're addicted to pak-rat.
I am not.
- Admit it.
- No, I am not addicted to pak-rat.
- Would ya stop I'm addicted to pak-rat.
- I know.
- I can't believe this.
You promised me my labradoodle sculpture would be ready today.
- I know.
- He's really sorry.
- Do you know how much influence I have in the Seattle art community? - Yes, I do.
And what is that on your face? It's smoked salmon.
What is wrong with you? - Look, I I got a little obsessed with pak-rat.
- Pak-rat? That old video game? - Yeah, ya wanna play? - No.
- Spencer.
- I'm sorry.
Listen.
Is today your wife's actual birthday? - No, it's next Saturday, why? - If you'll just give me till then - oh.
- I promise, I swear, I will make you the best labradoodle sculpture ever.
Your wife will love it.
- He'll get it done.
- I will see you 9:00, Saturday morning.
- Wow, that was almost really bad.
- Yeah.
Well I can't believe you're still playing that.
And now my finger smells like smoked salmon.
- Gary wolf is so gorgeous.
- Why does he have to be a senior? A hot, hot senior.
- Hi.
- What happened to you? I was riding my bike down corbin boulevard on my way to school and my bike just fell apart right under me.
- On corbin? - Uh-huh.
A bus ran over my lunch.
Well, "flat" doesn't mean "inedible.
" - I'm telling you, it's consuela's revenge.
- There's no such thing as curses or bad luck.
Yeah, keep thinkin' that.
You guys, what am I gonna do about Spencer? He's gonna ruin his whole life if I don't get him to quit playing that stupid pak-rat game.
- And it's your fault.
- How's it my fault? - You had to go look up Sasha striker.
- Who's Sasha striker? - The best pak-rat player of all time.
- Come on, Spencer'll get sick of the game after a while.
No way.
This isn't about him loving pak-rat.
It's this, this crazy competitive thing with him.
So let's go find this Sasha striker chick.
Maybe Spencer can beat her.
- Can't.
- She like dropped off the face of the earth years ago.
Well, come on, there's gotta be some way we can find the woman.
So, come on, "iCarly" fans there are hundreds of thousands of you guys all over the country.
- All over the world.
- One of you has to know where Sasha striker is.
- And if you help us locate her - Or get her to contact us at iCarly.
Com - you'll win these fabulous prizes.
- This $25 gift certificate to b.
F.
Wangs.
This survival knife that used to belong to my grandmother.
And an autographed photo of a man who got pregnant.
- So, come on, "iCarly fans.
" Help us find Sasha striker.
- If you like chinese chain restaurants - and survival knives - And pregnant dudes.
- She's here.
- She's comin' up the elevator.
Sweet.
Hey, hey, uncool, uncool.
- Just stop playing for a minute.
- No.
I did what you asked me to do.
I shaved, I took a shower, I mailed that movie back to webflix, I who's the girl in the sexy purple tank-top? - Her name is Sasha.
- Sasha striker.
- The number one pak-rat player in the world.
- How did you guys find her? - Through the power of "iCarly.
" - Now just play Sasha and beat her so you can retire from pak-rat for good.
Yeah.
I hear you're really good.
So why don't you beat me? - Oh, you don't think I can, do you? - I know you can't.
But I like a challenge.
You know, I feel scared and attracted to you at the same time.
Are you guys gonna make out or play some pak-rat? Who's here? - Hey, hey.
Who are you guys? - I'm Barry schatz from the video game channel.
- Why are you here? - 'Cause we heard Sasha striker was gonna be here - to defend her pak-rat title.
- This is big.
This is Barry schatz from the video game channel, live in Seattle, where Sasha striker, the number one pak-rat player in the world, has come out of retirement to defend her title against - uh, Spencer shay.
If there's any girl out there who wants to go out with me, any girl at all - well, I guess we're gonna do this.
- I guess we are.
- It could take a long time.
- I got time.
Do you have a boyfriend? - How long have they been playing? - Six hours.
Kill me.
- And Sasha striker finishes with a total of 1,322,000 points.
A new record.
Now, Spencer shay has only one rat left to beat that score and he trails by over Good luck.
You'll need it.
Look out.
Will Spencer shay hold up under this pressure? Will he be able to stop watching the video game channel, ya big bunch of losers.
You're wasting your lives.
Get a job, kiss a girl, do something.
No offense.
It's incredible.
Spencer shay is less than 400 points away from defeating Sasha striker.
You don't have to be pretty.
All I'm looking for is someone female with a beating heart come on, Spencer.
It happened.
It happened right here in Seattle.
Spencer shay has defeated the great Sasha striker and he is now the number one bye.
Okay, later.
Yeah, I know, I know, I know.
Get out.
- Well.
You're the real deal.
Nice game.
- Thanks.
Back atcha.
- Wanna go for a ride? - I would love to.
But this is all I can give you right now.
- Call me.
- We'll see.
Okay.
A rich doctor's gonna be here in nine hours to pick up a sculpture I haven't even started yet.
Who wants to stay up all night and help me build it? I'll give you each $20.
- Whatever.
- Okay.
So, what do you think? I like it.
But it's my wife's opinion that matters.
Honey? Happy Birthday.
She likes it.
- Hey, did you get an e-vite to Karen Franklin's party? - Yeah.
- I didn't.
- Well, maybe 'cause you always call her a dumb fudge-wad.
So? I still like to party.
Oh, man, I got another one of those chain letter e-mails from gibby.
Well, forward it so you won't have all kinds of bad luck like Freddie.
- Ah, Freddie didn't have any bad luck.
- What are you talking about? I did all that stuff.
- What? Wait, his bike falling apart? - I loosened some bolts.
- His laptop smoking? - Shorted out the battery.
- The pink shorts? - One red sock in his washing machine.
- Okay, what about the spider on his face? - That was just lucky.
No way - what? - Gary wolf.
- What about Gary wolf? - He's texting me.
He wants me to meet him at the crown Ridge mall.
- But he's a senior.
- I know.
Why would the hottest senior in our school ask you to meet him at the mall? I mean, not that you're not cool and appealing and everything, but why you? I don't know.
But bye.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- I gotta tell you something.
- You're gonna tell me that there was no bad luck? That Sam did all that stuff to me? - How do you know? - Well, I didn't know when it was my pink shorts and my laptop, but I saw her loosening the bolts on my bike.
- But I thought your bike fell apart while you were riding it? - Nope.
I just pretended on that one.
- So you're not gonna try to get her back? - You mean, do something devious like send her a fake text message that looks like it came from Gary wolf, telling her to meet him at the crown Ridge mall? - I didn't know you could be so bad.
- Good night.
- Night.
- Carly, Carls, hey - Hmm? - Did you play pak-rat all night? - Mm-hmm.
It's so fun.
Yeah, all right, kiddo.
Go on up to bed.
Carry me.
It's such a fun game.