Las Vegas s02e02 Episode Script

The Montecito is the finest casino and resort in as Vegas.
We provide flawless service.
Unrivaled accommodations and gaming.
Oh, Danny? I gotta check on something outside.
And now, our Bella Petto Pool and Lounge where guests can enjoy a pool experience that's a little bit more European.
And, you ladies will be contributing to that experience What do you mean, contribute? I thought all we had to do was lay around with our tops off.
Yeah, well, I guess that would be your contribution.
All righty then.
Let them breathe.
Hey.
Let me guess, security check.
Exactly.
You know, if we were married, you'd have to learn not to stare like that.
We made the right decision.
We? We both need some time to readjust.
I I meant to give this back That's yours.
Just don't expect another one when this whole readjustment period is over.
So, whose idea was it to hire these ladies to lie around topless? Marketing.
Oh, marketing.
And Mike.
Mike, sure.
And me.
You.
Anyway, it looks like everything's under control here.
Yeah.
Security check? Yeah.
You, too? I'm here on something of a busman's holiday.
I'm an archeologist by trade.
I teach at NAU.
Las Vegas region is one of my specialties Mike! Did you know that the native population here I prefer that term to Native American because they were here before there was Absolutely.
Mike, this is Mr.
Dortch.
He was wondering if you could find him a space outside? They said that they couldn't get a chair for me until Thursday.
I'm sorry, we're already overbooked.
I sort of have a professional interest.
I'm an archeologist.
Most people assume that bosom-baring societies are solely indigenous to equatorial regions Why don't we give you a VIP tour This is Sam.
Wait.
What, $5,000 a hand? I'll be right there.
Everybody's happy? Great.
In the brown shirt.
$5,000 a hand for the last 20 minutes.
Hi, Sam Marquez.
I'm with the Montecito.
Lisa Lundquist.
Hi Lisa, are you staying with us? No.
Because I'd like to make one of our suites available to you.
I live in town.
That's nice.
You're a local.
Then let us comp your meals, shows, spa treatments and we're gonna put one of our limos at your continuous disposal.
No, thank you.
Not interested.
Okay, well you call me if you change your mind.
Do you have another casino host? I don't even know what that is.
Oh, Nessa.
Fred.
That's right.
The penniless man who came to the Montecito to kill himself and left with a new attitude.
And, oh, yeah, $6 million.
That was some winning streak.
Well, it was all because of your guidance and friendship.
Oh, Fred, that wasn't necessary.
Thank you.
Nessa! Sorry.
I just want to shout it from the mountaintops.
Know what I parlayed that $6 million into? I don't know.
$3 million? $14 million.
Little IPO opportunity, available only to millionaires.
Well, I'm glad you're doing so well.
I've got to get back to work.
Wait, Nessa.
This humble, fabulously wealthy man would like to take you to dinner.
The most expensive restaurant in town beluga caviar.
Cristal.
Or whatever you want.
I'll order three or four of them.
I'm afraid I can't.
Nessa? Don't you see? I have come here to woo you.
Fred, listen, I don't think Okay, a salad, then, or a drink, or water.
Water with no ice.
Just give me a chance.
Okay, a drink.
I'm off in an hour.
Another adventure begins.
Get some rest.
What is she up? $90,000.
I know it's not that much, but something's off.
The first hint is that she's betting that big using an odds card.
Turning down comps, not knowing what a casino host is.
Leaving on a reshuffle.
Hey, you think she's counting? I don't think so.
I've been watching her for awhile.
She started betting heavy since she got to the table.
Yeah? Later.
You two seem pretty tight.
What is it with you and Leo, he owe you money or something? Danny finds Leo esthetically threatening.
I just think the guy's a douchebag.
Hey, watch your language.
Who's a douchebag? Nobody.
Nothing.
What's going on? A guest is having a problem with his room.
Wants to speak to the individual in charge.
And this woman on the floor won $90,000.
Hate to break it to you, Sam, but once in a while folks will win some money.
Okay.
So she's definitely not counting.
Well, something ain't right.
I don't get it.
I've seen people win $900,000.
Listen, just check her out, will you? You tell him what we do up here, okay? It's okay.
You're new.
What? No.
I'm good, thank you.
You really didn't need to go to all this trouble, Fred.
Nothing is too much for my Nessa.
Fred, I'm not your Nessa.
And I'm not sure I ever will be.
Oh.
I just remembered.
I talked to my accountant this morning.
It turns out I have $16 million.
You know, if you laid that end to end Look, I think it's great that you've made a lot of money and I'm flattered that you find me so appealing.
But it doesn't change anything.
But It's not gonna happen, Fred.
Stop singing! She was telling the truth about being a local.
She lives out on Sahara.
Only problem is I checked her bank records.
Aren't there some privacy laws we gotta roll with? No? Yeah? No? So fill me in on those bank records.
She's never had more than $576 in her account.
So where did she get $25,000 to buy chips? Parents, slots, moonlighting as a hooker.
Or someone else was counting, fronted her the money then sent her in to play.
She was here yesterday, too, won $65,000.
Casinos freaking over card counters has always kind of thrown me.
Thrown you how? Just on the whole philosophical, fairness level if someone learns how to play blackjack really well, we toss them.
It's like a country club not allowing a scratch player on a golf course Mitch, I need tape of the hour before Lisa Lundquist arrived at the table every time she played.
Okay.
Get one difference, my ethics-minded friend.
Scratch golfers don't put golf courses out of business, all right? If we let one of these card counters play we gotta let them all play.
And then all the people who suddenly learn how to count.
The next thing you know, we're out of business and the card counters are building 5,000 room hotels.
I guess.
That's why we can't let them outsmart us.
Not even for $90,000 Hey, Danny, I took care of that homeless guy at the west entrance.
Super.
Hey! Hey.
Another security check? No.
Ed wanted to meet me down here.
Right.
Ed hasn't done his security check.
Hi.
Hey.
Do you work here? Yes, I do.
Can you take care of that for me? Can you? Because I sure as hell don't want to be out here.
Hey, kid.
Hey, boss.
Danny? Ed.
I just can't believe we actually opened this place.
It was your idea.
That's only because Mandalay Bay and Caesar's did it first.
Hey, look.
I thought I told you to make sure that not one of these rooms have an unobstructed view to this place.
I did.
I checked out that guy's room.
You see that gap over there? Look, see between the two trees? Well, there's a very nice man and he's extremely religious.
Apparently, every time he looks out his window he's got three sets of headlamps staring at him.
There's a ficus tree over by the storage shed Yeah.
They were supposed to move that over, but they must have I think the backhoe operator got sick See, what I'm hearing is like a bunch of excuses and I'd really like to hear a solution.
Yes, sir.
I'll move it myself.
We're taking care of the card-counting situation, so you know.
Ficus tree.
Hey, Fred? Oh.
Hi, Mr.
Deline.
Hey, nice to see you, again.
You, too.
How's it going? Well, I'm even richer than when I left here.
Yeah, but, you know that old saying, "money can't buy happiness"? What about your girlfriend? You know, the one we reunited you with? Dumped me.
Second time, for those of you keeping score at home.
Sorry.
But in a way, you know, it was kind of a good thing because it made me realize who the true love of my life was.
Nessa.
Nessa.
So I came back here to woo her.
But she's not interested, either.
Have you been seeing that therapist? So here I am, surrounded by beautiful, naked women and miserable.
What I think you should do is just to think back to when you were the very, very happiest.
I mean, where you were, what you were doing, who you were with.
Oh! And make it happen again? Bingo.
You'd help me do that? Yeah, sure.
Because you know when I was really happy? No.
When I was working at Fido Frank's Stereo Corral.
Because I got to talk to people, give them advice.
Help them with important audio-visual decisions.
I'll get a hold of this Fido Frank and I'll set something up for you, okay.
They're out of business.
Well, then, you find somebody like Fido Frank's.
I gotta run, Fred.
Okay, listen.
I will think of something and I'll let you know, Mr.
Deline.
You promise to let me know? I promise.
Feeling better already.
I took a look at all the tape.
Every time Lisa Lundquist sits down to play You want me to do this later? Danny? No.
All set.
Let's go.
Ed, Mike and I have been analyzing Lisa Lundquist's play.
Every time she sits down, the deck is loaded with high-value cards.
Since the deck is already rich before she sits That's what I've been telling you.
Someone else is counting then they're signaling her to start playing.
Right.
And this dude is at her table before she comes.
Every time.
Then leaves a couple of minutes before she gets there.
Well, that's our man.
This is Mike.
Thanks.
Dude is back.
Okay, this is live.
Danny McCoy.
All right.
All right.
Lisa Lundquist just bought a latte at Cup-a-Joe's.
She's probably sitting there with a vibrating cellphone, pager some kind of silent receiver.
I want you to go find out.
Just wait for him to signal her and then bring them both to my office.
You got the signal detector? It covers the entire wavelength spectrum.
Fifty megahertz to six gigahertz.
Bluetooth, Wi-Fi, cellphones, UHF, VHF, digital spread products.
So that's a "yes.
" And you gave one of those to Sam? Yeah.
She went to find Lisa Lundquist there at Cup-a-Joe's.
Can I have a latte? Sure.
Lisa? Oh, hi.
Sam Marquez, from earlier.
I remember.
Derek, give her anything she wants, on me.
No, thank you, that's not necessary.
Oh, please.
It's just my job to reward our more serious players and make sure that your stay is as enjoyable as possible.
Wow.
Guess we could start by changing this music? Nothing.
How the hell's he signaling her? Maybe it's visual.
But we didn't see anything on the tapes.
You're forgetting something, Danny.
There's a new sheriff in town.
I'll solve this guy.
The detector didn't pick up anything.
She's still here.
Yeah.
Nothing here, either.
Just keep an eye on her.
I'll watch this guy.
Good.
I gotta go move a tree.
Move a tree? Yeah? No.
I don't want him waiting in the hall.
Just tell him Oh, hell! Just send him in.
Ed.
Fred.
Well, I did what you said.
I thought of something like the Fido Frank's job that would make me happy again.
Oh, that's great.
Yeah.
But you don't know the really great part.
Give me a hint.
Okay.
It has something to do with here at the hotel.
You got me.
I want to be a bartender at Mystique.
Oh, it's perfect.
I love the Montecito.
I'll get to see new people and talk to them and give them advice and I might even meet some potential Mrs.
Puterbaughs.
And since you said you'd help me and you actually run the place Hello.
Here's the thing, Fred.
We're on a pretty strict budget here and we gotta stick to it.
I've got $16 million, remember? You don't have to pay me.
I'll work for free.
I'm not going to replace one of my bartenders so you can just forget about it.
It's not like someone's losing a job or even missing a shift.
It's more like an unpaid internship, okay? If Fred's tending bar, he'll get tips my real employees would've gotten.
All right.
Look.
I'll cover their tips.
I'll even double them.
The point is, I really don't want this guy taking another swan dive off the South Tower.
Just let him mix a couple of cocktails and I can send him home happy, you know? Does he have any bartending experience? Yeah.
Tell him to come talk to me.
Honey, you know that skirt's a little short on the right side there.
How's it going? You solve him yet there, Sheriff? Close.
Very close.
So, how did your tree excavation go? Take a look at this.
I found some pottery.
State law says we can't dig further until we know if they have any historical value.
You know, I talked to a guy at Bella Petto who said he was an archeologist.
Walker Dortch, specialized in local stuff.
He's staying in the South Tower.
Thanks, Mike.
You want me to take a look at this? Don't tell me you know about this stuff, too.
I'm a bit of an armchair archeologist, yes.
Then knock yourself out.
He's leaving.
Lisa's still here.
Check that.
Walking.
Did it look like Lisa got any kind of signal? No.
Nothing.
She just sat down to play.
Check change.
$10,000.
Good luck.
Congratulations.
Lisa's leaving.
She's up $50,000.
Lisa waits at Cup-a-Joe's.
When the deck gets rich, the counter leaves.
Lisa moves in.
As far as we can tell, they're not communicating verbally, visually, or electronically.
Well, if they're not talking to each other, there's gotta be a relay man.
Danny's checking video.
Danny, you talk to that archeologist? Don't tell me I got to dig up half an acre to look for broken plates.
No.
I'm gonna meet him in a few minutes.
So, I checked everyone close enough to see him leave and nobody shows up more than once.
Maybe he's got a bunch of relay guys? It doesn't matter if he has a whole army.
Where Lisa sits in Cup-a-Joe's, she can't see into the casino.
Yeah, she's right.
I checked that, too.
Ed, why don't we just kick them out? Players are a dime a dozen but if they got a system that's beating us, we're in trouble.
Wait a minute.
Who else sees him leaving? We do.
You mean an inside job? Who's on duty up here when that counter's at the table? There's only one match.
Leo.
I'll pull him in.
What? Fire him for doing his job? No.
Now, we'll watch him.
Mr.
Dortch? Danny McCoy.
Thank you for meeting me here.
This is what I found right over there.
State Law says we can't dig further until we know for sure Until you ascertain its historical value.
Nevada Revised Statutes, Section 383.
170.
Right here? Right there.
Sounds like you're our guy.
So, I heard you were having a little trouble getting into Bella Petto? Yes.
It seems to be quite the popular attraction.
Yeah.
We appreciate your help.
There is one small caveat.
I don't know that I'll have time to do this for you.
I have a lengthy conference Mr.
Dortch, for helping us out with this I'll personally make sure you have a cabana at the Bella Petto for the rest of your stay.
Excellent.
Wonderful.
Danny McCoy.
Got it.
Well, I got to follow up on something but I'll be sure to have the rest of these artifacts delivered to your room.
Excellent.
Maybe I'll examine them in that cabana.
Wherever you'd like.
You look positively fetching tonight, boss.
Don't breathe on the glasses, ask if you have any questions and card anyone who looks younger than 30.
Got it? Showtime.
Name your poison, sweetheart.
A glass of merlot, please.
The house pour is fine.
And may I see some ID? And maybe a phone number? Fred, may I see you? Now? The counter's back.
I know.
I just talked to Nessa.
Oh, look who's on duty.
Check Cup-a-Joe's, would you? Yep.
There's Lisa.
Wait a minute.
She's reading The Great Gatsby.
The counter was reading the same book.
Didn't Sam say that Lisa worked at a bookstore? Yeah.
What does that tell us? I don't know.
I don't, either.
One Sneaky Pete, coming at you.
What's a Sneaky Pete? Tequila, lime juice, pineapple juice, and crème de menthe.
I got it.
Sorry.
You have another customer.
Go.
Hi.
Can I get a Greyhound, please? And for your friends? He's leaving.
Yeah, I'm watching.
Looks like Leo's watching, too.
Anyone want anything from Cup-a-Joe's? Call Sam and see what's happening over there.
Hey, it's Leo.
I've got an order for you.
Did you hear a phone ring down there? No.
The phone must be in the back.
So the phone ringing isn't the signal.
She's leaving.
Okay, I'll let Mike know.
Did she do anything that looks like Wait a minute.
The same song was playing the last time she left.
Okay.
Find out who is taking the phone orders and who's controlling the music.
The lady in pink.
Hi, Daddy.
So, how's our man doing? I hate to say it but other than a few broken bottles, he's doing pretty well.
People seem to like him.
The only problem is he's telling anyone who'll listen about his internship.
I've had three people come to me and they all want their own internship.
Oddly enough, the most popular choice is the towel boy at Bella Petto.
I gotta pull him.
Cosmopolitan.
And who might be drinking that Cosmo? Me.
With all due respect, sir, that's a ladies' drink.
Hey, buddy, if I want a Cosmopolitan, you're gonna Fred, please.
Ed, baby.
Give the man Really? That's a ladies' drink? What do you suggest? J.
Curbis Scotch.
Says something to a woman.
Yeah.
Give me some J.
Curbis.
Sounds good.
A double.
Double it up.
Fred.
Mr.
Deline, you know that suite I'm in? I want to book it for the next seven or eight years.
I'll pay in advance.
Listen.
I'm afraid, Fred, that I can't keep you on as a bartender here.
I'm really sorry.
I really am.
But, look, I have 14 people who want this internship stuff.
It's just not gonna work out.
So, I would like for you to finish out your shift tonight.
Have this on me, please.
And we'll talk tomorrow, okay? I promise.
Okay.
Thanks.
Hey, where's my J.
Curbis? In my belly! So, Cup-a-Joe's has some rocket scientist in the back room who's answering the phones and playing the CDs.
So the same guy does both? Yeah.
His name's Tyler.
Hot flash.
Counter's name is Paul Snow.
I went back to that bookstore and asked around.
He and Lisa are in the same book club.
That's the connection.
Right.
So now we have a signaling method.
Leo sees Paul leave the table calls this guy Tyler down at Cup-a-Joe's to place an order.
Then Tyler changes the music to The Piña Colada Song.
So you know he's got problems.
You don't like that song? That's a great I got it.
That song is her signal to head for the table to start betting.
So there's no direct communication.
So there's nothing to pin on them.
Sharp.
So we got nothing to connect Leo other than you think he's a jerk.
Yeah.
Let's go get a latte.
My man Tyler? Yeah.
Mr.
McCoy.
Mr.
Cannon.
If I screwed up a drink order, you'll have to take that up with "Big Mama.
" This isn't about a drink order.
Come on.
Hey, keep your hands off.
All we want to know is what's going on with Lisa Lundquist and Paul Snow.
Oh, and Leo.
I told you, man.
I don't even know them.
And I didn't do anything.
Every time Leo calls in his order, you play The Piña Colada track.
Well, first off, I get what, a 100 phone orders a day.
Second, The Piña Colada track is my favorite song.
Leo tell you to say that? If you didn't do anything why did you run? I had taken some stuff from the shop once like some bottled water and some soda.
You know, I thought you guys were there about that.
If you're gonna fire me now, I'm just gonna go home No, you're not going anywhere.
You're gonna finish your shift in this room.
I don't get off until 8:00.
Yeah.
And if this is your last day, which I suspect that it might be your final assignment is going to be to sit in that robe and think about how stupid it would be to lie to us.
And how stupid you look.
Okay, I admit it.
I did say that I would help him and I did set him up at Mystique and I did pull out the rug from under him.
So why is Fred now my responsibility? Because, my dear, right now you're the only one that can cheer him up.
I mean, he will listen to you.
And to tell you the truth I mean, I feel a little sorry for this guy.
He's a good guy.
I know, but Listen, I really would appreciate it if you would do this.
As a favor to me.
What am I supposed to say to him? How the hell should I know? Just go in there make him feel better.
I told him you'd meet him over here at the Bella Sera.
Thanks.
Hi, Fred.
Oh, hi.
Listen.
I wanted to clarify what I said to you the other day.
Oh, the "not gonna happen" part? I think I understood.
No.
See, I don't think you did.
See, if I were in the market for a boyfriend you would be right at the top of my list.
You're funny, intelligent, handsome.
Sexy.
Sexy.
Hunk.
All of that.
So, you have a boyfriend.
Why didn't you just tell me? You don't have a boyfriend.
I'm gay.
Ooh.
I mean "Oh.
" You're sure? Men just don't do it for me.
I've tried.
Tried the rest.
Now try the best.
We can still be friends.
A beautiful lesbian friend who can give me chick advice and get me tickets to the Dinah Shore Golf Tournament? Front row.
Oh! And then afterwards, I can watch you and your girlfriend.
No.
There's good news and bad news.
Bad news.
Well, I would estimate the pottery you dug up is somewhere between 900 and 1,100 years old.
It's Anasazi in design and composition.
Probably, originating in an area not far from here know as Don't touch.
In an area not far from here known as Lost City.
Really, a remarkable civilization.
They cultivated corn and beans and wove fine cloth and fired beautifully painted pottery.
What's the good news? Well, as you know, state law requires excavation of the site.
And if it turns out to be a large settlement, gee-whiz who knows how much of your property would be made inaccessible.
Where are we going with this, Walker? Yes.
I, uh I had some unfortunate luck at the gaming tables.
Last I checked, I owed your casino something in the $14,000 neighborhood.
If you could find a way to forgive that debt well, I could just say that what you found is worthless junk.
Interesting.
You know, you work here a few years and think you've heard every kind of I think it's really, what's the term they use "win-win"? "Win-win.
" Good news.
Did he tell you? What's your good news? I had that pottery piece radiocarbon dated.
It's like, 50 years old, machine made.
I would seriously question those results Great! Call that college where this jerk works and tell them they got a professor who is a liar and an extortionist.
Greg, get this slimebag out of my hotel, will you? Danny McCoy.
Stop it! You're hurting me.
All right.
Paul and Lisa are back.
How long has she been sitting there? About 20 minutes.
The deck isn't ready yet.
They played the song.
Then you weren't listening.
Yes, I was.
Don't follow me.
Montecito Security.
I think we need to talk.
Lisa.
You were just in the coffee shop.
Yeah, I was.
So, therefore, I strongly suggest that you tell us everything you know.
Okay.
I counted cards.
Then Lisa made the big bets.
And Leo's call cued the music to change.
Who's Leo? That's not very convincing, sweetheart.
Look, I admitted I was counting, okay? Throw us out.
Ban us from the Montecito for life.
Whatever you have to do.
You've made your point.
See, boys, I really don't think they understand.
This is a little more serious than never coming back to the Montecito.
Counting cards isn't illegal.
But using a device to analyze a strategy for betting is.
The casino surveillance camera is a device.
The sound system at Cup-a-Joe's is a device.
Show the penalty.
Assuming this is your first offense It is, really.
You're looking at one to six years in state prison.
What do you guys say? They testify against Leo, we let them walk? Testify against Leo and return all the money.
I can't.
He says he knows people.
Dangerous people.
You're willing to sacrifice six years of your life to protect this guy Leo.
You're a devoted little thing, aren't you? Okay, we'll testify.
I swear I didn't know it was a crime.
Leo knew someone from our book club, okay? We met him one night and I told him I was a pretty good card counter.
He said he knew a way that we could all make a lot of money.
Leo, can you come in for a minute? Shut the door.
Leo you know a Lisa Lundquist? No.
What about a Paul Snow? Never heard of him.
That's funny.
They know you.
Lisa and Paul.
Oh.
Yeah.
They're in a friend's book club.
They only use first names.
We know about your little card-counting operation, Leo.
Paul leaves the blackjack table you call Tyler, the music changes Danny, I know you don't like me.
And I don't really like you, either.
But I don't throw around ridiculous accusations.
So all those calls to Cup-a-Joe's just before Lisa goes to play that's just a coincidence.
I've called them every day since I've been here.
Ask anybody out there.
What's the problem, Dan? Got to show everybody GI Joe can still cut it back in the real world? Don't make it worse, Leo.
You know, you came back pretty quick.
Maybe you couldn't cut it over there.
Yeah, right.
All right.
You know what? I quit.
Life's too short to work for a jerk like you.
Mr.
Broder, you're under arrest.
Told you.
So I guess your judgment isn't infallible after all.
What the hell are you talking about? Leo.
You hired him, didn't you? Look, I have more than 7,000 employees working for me.
So, every once in a while You need something to do? I'm checking on a report on a copulating couple in stairwell four.
Hey, Mr.
Deline.
Hi, Danny.
Stacy.
Hey, Clark.
How's that suite treating you? Great.
Good.
Yeah.
I gotta go.
I've a plane to catch.
She's one of our topless sunbathers.
Yeah.
He's the religious guy who complained about the view.
Only in Vegas.