Louis Theroux's Weird Weekends (1998) s02e02 Episode Script
Swingers
1 Gary, what happened in there? Did you just pick her up? No, I asked her to the party.
Seems like a very nice lady.
- Yeah.
- Very attractive too.
- Yeah.
- Beautiful, yeah.
Were you thinking about maybe? Cos a lot of people would think you were picking her up.
No, I'm not, not really.
They would think that.
I think she'd have a great time at the party.
Yeah.
With you, at the party? - I don't know.
- Maybe.
Would that be 0K with Margaret? I think so, yeah.
- You think so? - Yeah, sure.
- You think so? - Yeah.
But you're not sure? Southern California, a land of unlimited possibilities.
Home to a subculture of middle-class couples who embrace all the core values of America except one - monogamy.
They call themselves "members of the lifestyle" or "swingers".
My mission - to go to a swing party.
My first contact, Gary and Margaret.
He works for a large corporation that will remain nameless.
She's a homemaker.
Together they run a regular swing party, right out of their suburban home.
Are you Margaret? - Yeah.
- No! Are you? - Yeah.
- I'm Louis.
- Hi, Louis.
- From BBC 2.
How you doing? - Fine, real good.
- Where's Gary? - Are you Gary? - Yeah.
- I'm Louis.
It's good to meet you.
- Hi.
I'm interested in finding out what it means to be a swinger.
Sure, whatever I can tell you, that'd be great.
What I'd like to do is take a look around the premises, cos I understand you've done quite a lot with it.
Yeah, we've added a lot of stuff.
In fact, a great deal of the stuff in our house and outside is stuff that we got from what we call yard sales.
This room is our indoor group room Wow! for group activities and multiple couples and that kinda stuff and they can use this whole area as a play room.
- People come and go through here.
- So, this is like the orgy room? Yeah.
Yeah, technically speaking.
Do you keep this pretty clean? 0h, yeah.
We leave out We put out a lot of towels for people.
If there's any kind of fluid, it's polite not to get the mattress wet.
It seems like you've got kind of a space-age theme going on on the walls.
Yeah.
When I get around to it, this whole room is gonna be redone into a kind of a Star Wars, outer space type of theme.
So, if I were at a Gary and Margaret party and I saw a young woman who I was maybe interested in, I could say "I'll meet you in the Star Wars room"? - Yeah.
- "For a group sex session"? Yeah, sort of.
So, let's say I come in here and I'm interested in what's going on, can I just dive in? No, not specifically, no.
First you'd say, "Would anybody mind if I join in a little bit?" You'd say something like that.
You don't have to but it's polite if you do.
So, let's say I'm stroking your hair and your thigh, and then I want to go to the next level and involve one of the primary erogenous zones.
Right.
- Can I just sort of take it there? - Yeah.
Does that basically mean you have carte blanche to investigate everyone else who's in the group room? No, just that particular person.
If they take your hand and put it off themselves or give you a signal that they don't want any other person involved right now, then you have to go with that.
Through here is another more interesting room.
Wow! This is one of our other bedrooms.
This is where I keep all my I'm looking at I'm looking at swimming masks, snorkels.
This is sort of a what - underwater scuba room? Yeah, this is where I keep all my fetish stuff.
I have a big collection of rubber and fetish stuff and I keep it in this room, which a lot of the guests we have here like to use.
So, what's the thing about rubber - what is the appeal? It's more of a psychological than a physical thing.
- That's your cup of tea, is it? - That's one of the things I like a lot.
So I decided when we got our own place, that I'd have a place to store all my stuff and have access to it and to use and for other people to use.
I'm being drawn towards this item here.
Yeah.
In fact, at the last party, a lady wore that.
She was a lot of fun.
- She wore that? - Yeah, yeah, she really did.
A lot of people come here always looking for something new.
Different and new to try out because they've been married for 25, 30 years, and they've kinda gone around the block a few times, you know? They like to pull into a different driveway every once in a while.
This is what we call a pony chair.
That's one of our specialty items.
It's a table with a foam mattress on top.
- You made this? - Yeah, made it myself.
Matter of fact, we made three of 'em.
Then it has these little braces here on the corners.
I feel like one of us should demonstrate.
Why don't you demonstrate? - Does it have to be me? - Yes, I own the place.
We have a lot of ladies who might be a little overweight and sometimes it's hard for them to keep their legs up in the air, and this allows them to relax more and to still have access, but it's much more comfortable for them and they use it a lot.
It is comfortable.
I feel vulnerable, though.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Right.
I could go for this, I guess, if I relaxed and And let your mind wander.
I'm curious to know if your parents or your friends who don't know you're into swinging, if they come round, they come into this room I keep this room locked.
This is the only room that I keep locked when we have people over who aren't into the scene.
What about the room with all the mattresses on the floor? I just close the door and if someone goes in there and says "What are all the mattresses for?" We have a lot of friends and that's where they can sleep if they wanna stay over.
And they believe it? 0h, sure.
Plus we have regular parties and we have a lot of my relatives over.
- And they do sleep in there.
- Yes.
And if it's an afternoon barbecue or something and they want to take a nap, they go in the room, they take a nap.
Little knowing what went on there the Saturday before.
Exactly.
There are a lot of TVs in the house.
Why is that? 0ne of the things that you have to have at swing parties is adult movies playing.
People love to watch adult movies.
They love to sit and watch 'em and it just kinda helps put them in the mood.
So, give me an example - "That guy's attractive" or something.
Well, I wouldn't say that.
You could say, "Boy, those are enormous breasts" and she goes "Yes, they are" and you take the conversation from there and it actually gives you something to talk about that you can both look at, and then you try to get an idea of what might be going though her mind.
Yeah, that's good.
Good conversation starter.
This is a unit that we, er had built.
There are spaces on each side and in the back that have single beds and another group area in the back.
What if you're in here and you see an attractive couple or three or four people in here, and you're thinking, "I wanna jump in there.
" So you would ask, but what would you say - it's such an embarrassing question.
Well, embarrassing is something that you'll have to deal with and get over, because it is embarrassing somewhat, but how else are you gonna get anything done? 0K, this is nice.
This is really nice! This is kinda what we're known for, is our back yard and pool area.
This is fabulous.
It's a really warm pool.
In fact, stick your hand in there, and you can tell how nice and warm it is.
It's like bathwater.
It's really relaxing and you get a lot of muscles sore and you wanna get in here and relax.
And a lot of sexual activity does take place in the pool.
Is that hygienic? I have a really good filter on the pool.
How is it that neighbours aren't gonna see what's going on? Look, Gary, I can see a window over there in a neighbouring house.
You're a little taller and they'd have to stand on a bench or a table to be up enough to look in this way, and what are they gonna see? They're gonna see the top of your head.
- Smiling.
- Yeah.
Don't you get to pair off with someone? I usually stay outside most of the evening and Margaret runs the inside of the house.
But I think tonight will be an excellent night.
I know several ladies who will be coming that are very nice and I've had fun with in the past, so that makes it much easier.
- Easier for what? - Well, to do some sexual stuff.
So, where are we going, Margaret? Vons supermarket.
Vons supermarket? - Yes.
- To get stuff for the party? - Yes.
- And do you know what we need to get? - A lot of stuff.
- Like what? 0h, we need cold drinks, thinks like that.
- Yeah.
- We need, er Condoms? Well, everybody does that part.
Everyone brings their own? Yeah.
Couldn't afford that.
And here's Vons! How's your cart? - 0K.
- Is it a good one? - Uh-huh.
- That's important.
- What's on the list? - Beans, chips, paper goods Pick out a watermelon.
That's a good one.
Pick out a lettuce.
- A lettuce? - Down there.
We're gonna save this section here for the sodas.
- 0K.
- Yeah.
So, we wanna put these up here.
- Sorry about that.
- That's 0K.
How long have you been swinging, Margaret? A long time - since the '70s.
Since the '70s? So you're like one of the original swingers, cos the '70s were like known for swinging.
Yeah.
Do you ever get funny looks when you buy so much stuff? Um sometimes.
So if they ask, what's your cover story? We're having a pool party.
- A pool party? - Yeah.
That's not lying.
And you don't have to say "A lot of people will be naked and having sex"? 0h, no.
They'd freak out! Why would I say that? Why do you think they'd freak out? Just because they would.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- So, where to now, Margaret? - Cigarettes.
Can we mention what the food's for to the cashier? No! - She's quite attractive.
- 0K, go ahead.
I'll ask her if she wants to come to the party.
No.
- Definitely no? - That's right.
We're doing a documentary on American grocery stores and how big they are for England, cos English people don't have anything this big.
- Is that right? - Yeah.
What's happening, Margaret? You don't have a store like this in England, do you? - We don't have Vons in England, I don't think.
- I mean big stores like this, overall.
You don't have anything this big? - Not really, no.
- Not this big.
We We sort of do, actually.
I understand you have smaller shop-like places or supermarkets.
We have those too, yeah.
I mean, is Were you just giving her a cover story? - Mm-hm.
- Why? Because it sounds good.
Yeah, why? What's the matter? Nothing.
- Were you telling lies? - No.
- Fibs? - No.
- We're not doing a documentary - No, be quiet! We're not.
Margaret, we're not doing a documentary on grocery stores.
Don't give me a hard time.
We're not, though.
Just one moment, I'll get your receipt for you.
Margaret, you seemed to get kind of agitated in there.
You just can't go up to somebody and say, "Why don't you come to a screw party?" You're liable to get smacked right in the head.
I wasn't gonna say screw party.
0r whatever.
0K, swing.
That seems kind of a shame if you can't tell other people about your lifestyle and about what you care about most in the world in a way.
You just can't! That seems like a shame.
What d'you think she would've thought? D'you think she'd have thought you were weird? Yeah.
Yeah.
Exactly.
So if I plan on coming back here to shop, I don't want a bunch of people standing around talking about me, because I'm shopping.
See? Cos they It would be like a big gossip thing that people do.
So, you're leading this secret life, kind of? If somebody is into it, they're gonna get in touch with us.
We don't just go We might as well put a sign on us saying what we do, you know.
I'm sorry if I embarrassed you.
No, no, it's fine.
0K, what's the plan? There's a couple of yard sales down the street, but we don't want the neighbours to know exactly what kind of parties we have.
- Why? - Well, because sometimes - Shall we talk about this on the way down? - If you want to, sure.
You never really know what kind of reaction you'll get from people.
All our neighbours here know that we have parties, but I don't tell 'em all the details.
So, let's say we go down there and we see a bedcover.
And I say "This is perfect, Gary, "this looks like we could have three people having sex on this"? - Don't say that.
- 0K, here's our cover story.
We're making a documentary about yard sales, 0K? That'd be perfect.
- Margaret? - Simple.
Shall we go? The earlier you get there, the better bargains you get.
- Yeah, that's what I reckon.
- Yeah.
Gary? No, we don't need this.
- How about that? - No, don't need that.
How you doing? We're making a documentary about yard sales.
English TV.
This we might use for outside.
They seem suspicious.
No.
No.
That is pretty cool.
- There's a chain link fence.
- Yeah, don't need that.
How are you doing? We're just making a documentary about yard sales.
How much for the bathrobe? We're from BBC 2 and we're doing a documentary about yard sales.
- 0K.
- Isn't that right, Gary? 0h, yeah, yeah.
What are you doing? Later on, you can just go around like that.
During the evening.
- How did we do? - Excellent.
Why do you put so much work into it? What makes it worthwhile? You haven't seen the women that come here, have you? What about you, then, Margaret? - What? - And some of the guys that come here.
Gary and Margaret's.
Yes, we do.
Twice a month.
0n the second and third Saturdays of each month.
Are you a couple? 0K, great.
0nly rules are basically no heavy drinking, of course no drugs whatsoever, and politeness and, you know, niceness.
0K? 0K, we'll see you here tonight at eight.
Bye.
That's a good couple.
So when you're on the phone, are you screening them? Actually one of the reasons that people, what they call screening is, is that if you're not really attractive, they don't want to have you at their party.
And you think that's bad? I think everybody should be able to attend any party.
We have couples of all sizes and shapes and ethnic backgrounds and coupling.
- Because once you start doing that - Where does it end? Which is not fair.
Everybody can have a good time.
It sounds as though you've got to know me and maybe I've passed kind of a, I don't want to say test, but Initial test.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Why? - You're fine.
Why? Well, because you have a really good attitude and you're not afraid to ask questions.
- Yeah.
- And I think you'll have a great time.
If I wanted to actually swing, how would that work? I just come along to your party, would I come as a single guy? If you wanted to come to one of our regular parties, you have to come as a couple.
- Yeah.
- Bring a lady friend with you.
I feel like I'm going beyond being a reporter, and I'm on the verge of making a leap into the world of swinging, as a full-fledged participant.
Yeah, you might wanna leap into the shallow end first.
Why? Because the deep end can sometimes be pretty deep.
The group room is the deep end? - Very deep.
- Yeah.
And yet I feel myself being inexorably drawn towards the group room.
Thanks very much.
That was great, it was really fun.
Thank you.
Thank you.
That was great.
- See you soon I hope.
- Thanks for coming over.
My pleasure.
Next time I see you, we won't be wearing anything.
- 0K.
- 0r just little towels.
0K.
Space, the final frontier.
To seek out new life and new civilisations.
To boldly go where no man has gone before.
I didn't have anyone to take to Gary and Margaret's, but I heard about another swing club, the Cibrian Club, where single guys are welcome.
I'd spoken to the manager, Don.
He suggested I spend some time with one of his hostesses, called Cara, who helps organise his club's parties.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Are you Cara? - Yes.
- I'm Louis.
- Come in.
- How do you do? - Fine, nice to meet you.
- Wow, nice place.
- Thank you.
What's with the Winnie the Pooh theme that's running throughout? I like Winnie the Pooh.
My kitchen is also done in Winnie the Pooh, so - Really? - Yeah.
- May I look at the books? - Go for it.
- What's that one called? - The Ethical Slut.
This is pretty hardcore.
Slut skills, slut styles, group sex, public sex, orgies.
It just kinda tells you, respect other people.
You know, you can do your thing, be who you are, experiment all you want but just respect other people's feelings.
It sounds as though you're almost researching this like a project, the sex thing.
If I'm gonna do something, I'm gonna do it.
Well, I admire your, um Tenacity.
- Good word.
- Thank you.
What does it mean to be in the lifestyle? Having sex with lots of different people? I don't want people to get that impression, that it's about having sex with a lot of people - I don't think that's what it is.
I personally, I don't know if I should say this, I don't have sex with people at parties.
There's just an openness about your sexuality and your whole being.
I thought the lifestyle of swinging basically meant going to parties as a couple and hooking up with other couples and having sex with other people, maybe even group sex.
There's so many things you can do.
You go down on people.
You give everybody, you know, oral, you perform oral sex, there's kissing, there's, I mean, swinging is a lot more than just sex.
You don't just walk into a room and everybody starts to have sex.
Like Don explains it, there's so much nurturing, you know? He has a mathematical equation for it.
It's like 20% nurturing, 20% sex and 60% socialising.
So there's so much more involved than just sex.
What is nurturing? When you see people you give them a hug, and you walk round and hold hands, you touch each other.
You just kind of like show affection and like, not love but caring and compassion Massage? Not really even massage, you know, just closeness.
You said going down on people? - Mm-hm.
- Some people would class that as sex.
- 0ral sex.
- Yeah.
It's oral sex, that's how I consider it.
It's a sexual act.
Would that fall under nurturing, socialising or sex? I guess it would go more in the sex category, so, yes, I guess that would.
I personally just like to avoid intercourse, so - Really? - Really.
- Are you bi-curious? - I am.
What does that actually mean, bi-curious? I know what my definition is.
I can give you my definition.
Yeah, yeah? Um Just curious as to the female side, you know, being with females.
- Sexually? - Gay, yeah.
Being, you know, possibly gay, borderline.
So, did you attend any parties at all, yet? I haven't been to one yet.
Why, do you think I should go? I really think you should.
You could do this whole documentary but it's really something that you have to, like, see for yourself, I guess.
So, I've got to ask you one thing though.
As a young single female in the swinging community, you're pretty different than the other people I've spoken to.
Mm-hm.
Do you think you're unusual as a swinger? Yes.
How does that, um affect things? How does it affect things? Um it makes me more in demand I think.
- Does it? - Yes.
- What's that like? - Um Flattering.
Definitely flattering.
Is there, I mean Is there a down side? Is there a down side? Don't you find men preying on you or couples or No! How can you see that as a negative? - Really? - Why? It just seems like you're quite vulnerable or maybe I'm being old-fashioned.
You're being old-fashioned.
- Really? - I think so.
Are you ready to shop? This is it.
Yeah, I am ready to shop.
Definitely primo.
What d'you think about this? Um I think it's 0oh, I'm liking this.
What d'you think? For Louis? He says he's going for the mod look.
I think this'll be good.
I found another one.
- Kinda goes with the whole bowling theme.
- Yeah.
- Yes.
- Really? I wanna see it on.
Primo, for sure.
The overall question is, what impression are you trying to convey with these clothes? You wanna impress people, I guess.
You wanna make them want to be with you.
Sexually? Yeah.
Yeah.
Because you're at a swinging party and you are looking for? - Sex.
- Sex.
- Sex.
- 0r nurturing.
Nurturing, could be.
You wanna be somebody that somebody would wanna Sleep with but also relate to and communicate with? - Correct? - Correct.
So that means you wanna look sexy but also cuddly and warm.
Cuddly and warm, or just the kind of person people would wanna be with.
- Yeah.
Sexually? - Sexually.
Cuddly and warm, you can use that.
- 0h, yeah! - What? No, do you think so? - Yes! - Isn't it too big, though? Well, the other one you wanted larger.
The neck - My neck looks like a pencil.
- It's really the style right now.
The other swingers I've spoken to have not put a huge amount of store in personal appearance.
They said it wasn't very important.
0h, for the Cibrian Club it actually is.
- Really? - It really is.
We have a kind of a rating system for couples and single guys.
We try to As Don says, there's a lot of dog shows.
There are a lot of what? Dog shows, shows where there's dogs.
Ugly women, ugly men, you know.
And so, I think, at any point in time, you'd wanna give a good personal appearance, and present yourself well.
It's not that we're unaccepting and will turn away people, but We would prefer people who were just a little bit more, you know, upper.
- Upper? - Upper.
Upper class, you know? We have special parties for people who are on our code system, who are a little bit higher.
- Really? - We call that a Club Ten party.
A Club Ten party? Because there are so many people who aren't appealing, we wanna weed those out.
We're not saying we're unaccepting of people like that, but it's important.
I think it's very important.
Just the fact they're at a party, doesn't mean your standards automatically drop, I don't think.
Not mine.
So how does Don rate people? Appearance.
Sociability - you know, can they carry a good conversation? You know, would they be a wallflower? What they do for a living.
Their standing.
- Social status.
- Yes.
Pretty much those three things.
- And intelligence.
- And intelligence? Mm-hm.
I think that plays a role.
So, out of ten, it's just one number, is it? - Pretty much.
- Did he rate you? Um He might've.
Probably.
I think I probably got a good rating, I think.
I would hope so.
If I met Don, could he rate me? Could he? Yes.
I could rate you, please.
Well? Um I think as an all-over picture, I'd give you, as a single guy, an eight or a nine.
Definitely.
So I stand a chance? Fairly, yes, I believe so.
In my opinion, yes.
Very social, very upbeat, very personable.
Definitely somebody that would get involved.
You don't have a party if you don't.
0K, my lucky shirt.
Well, there you go, now you're fashionable.
Even though I was an eight or maybe a nine, I'd come to the conclusion that the Cibrian Club wasn't my kind of place.
I wasn't even sure if it was right for Cara.
Thank you very much.
Hug.
Thank you.
- Nurturing.
- Nurturing, that's what it's all about.
- Bye.
- Bye.
I decided to take a stab at getting into Gary and Margaret's and I had an idea.
LA Weekly.
Hi, I'm calling because I'd like to place an ad in your newspaper.
OK, what kind of ad would you like to place? I'm looking for a single woman who's into swinging and doesn't mind I need someone to take along to a swinging event.
What shall I do - may I dictate it to you? Sure.
0K.
English TV presenter seeks swinging partner for entrée into the lifestyle.
6ft 2ins, 160lbs Hi, this is Louis Theroux from the BBC, thanks for calling.
Please leave a message telling me a little bit about yourself, what you're looking for and your name and number after the beep, thanks very much.
Hi, Louis, my name is Monica, I'm 36 and blonde, 5'7", pretty.
Hi, my name's Cynthia, my stage name's Tiger, I'm a stripper in Orange County, I'm looking for someone who's carefree and fun.
I'm outgoing, sarcastic, very, kinda weird introverted and extroverted, depending on what day you get me.
I'm over 300lbs, my marriage is, um, is Just dissolved.
I'm a slim redhead with mysterious green eyes.
I like to party, have a good time, go to clubs.
I'm answering your ad.
Unfortunately, I'm not a female but I am bi-curious.
Hi, Louis, my name is Laura and I live in Venice Beach, right on the Boardwalk.
I'm 40 years old, single woman, I've been involved in the lifestyle for the past year.
I'm 5'8", 125lbs, very athletic.
I love outdoor sports of all kinds.
I'm a retired real estate executive.
Um Well educated, I like music and books and um all those other things, especially sex.
So, anyway, if you're interested in talking further, you know how to reach me.
I don't think I've said this yet, but thank you very much for coming with me, because by bringing you that's how I'm allowed to go to the party.
- 0h, you're welcome.
- Seriously.
I've done that a few times for um husbands of couples that I know, whose wives are out of town or something.
I've gone as the spare woman of the moment.
- Is that true? - Really.
And the wives have known? Yes.
Yes, they usually ask ahead of time.
And how has that worked out in general? It works out great.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
They're usually close friends of mine.
I've only done it twice now and they've been very close friends of mine, so it's been simple.
And you've ended up swinging with the friend or with someone you met at the party? Both, so - I'm basically here as a as a journalist.
- Right.
Do you think people will respect my boundaries? I wouldn't worry about that.
I've been at lots of parties where there have been people there who've never swung, never participated.
I've been in some where it's obvious that it's gonna take somebody a while to loosen up, but then you haven't really made the decision to join the swing scene, so 0oh, don't forget the food.
Just so I know what to expect.
When we go in There's no pressure for anything to start right away.
Where does it go from there? Usually something sparks a party.
I don't know what it is.
It's different in different places.
Maybe a massage, something like that that someone gives someone else.
So, we're not gonna go in there and just see a heap of throbbing flesh? - Writhing bodies? No, no.
Nervous? Yeah, I am a bit, yeah.
You've just gotta enjoy yourself, that's the important thing, right? No pressure.
0K.
- After you.
- 0K.
- Hi! - Hi! - Margaret, this is Laura.
- 0h, you made it! - Yes, we did.
- Hi, how d'you do? - Margaret, Laura.
- I'm Laura, nice to meet you.
- We brought our food dish.
- If you wanna put that around the corner.
What's the suggested donation? It's 30 a couple.
And the first time you come here, you'll receive a membership card dated for one year and that's ten.
0K, let's do it.
- 0K.
- 0K.
Here's your card.
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
- Hey.
- Hey, Gary, good to see you.
- You made it, huh? - Yeah.
This is my friend, Laura.
- Hi, Gary.
- Hi, how are you? - First time here, then, right? - First time here, yes.
Great, wonderful.
All right, did Margaret take care of The business side? Yeah.
- You've been to other places? - Mm-hm.
Where have you been? Freda Makers, Four Palms, Seven of Nine, I went to the convention.
- Were you there? - You better show me around.
You wait here, she'll show me around, if we're not back in an hour, just send out a search party.
0K.
Hi, I'm Laura.
- I'm Mark.
- Mark, nice to meet you.
- Pleasure.
- Hi, I'm Tani.
Tani, nice to meet you.
I didn't say hello.
I'm Louis.
- I'm Mark, Louis.
- Mark, nice to meet you.
- I'm Tani.
- Tani, nice to meet you.
How do you do? - Nice-looking couple.
- They seem nice.
Yes, they do.
- What's your name? - Dotty.
- Dotty, I'm Louis.
- Louis, nice to meet you.
- How do you do? - I do well.
- Good.
- Quite well.
Glad to hear it.
This is Laura.
- We should toast.
- 0K.
- To? - To swinging.
- 0K.
- To swinging.
- To your first party.
- Yeah, my first party.
You're kidding? - 0h, to initiations.
- Initiations.
Who did you come with, Dotty? - Dan.
- Dan? Right here.
- Hi.
- Hi, I'm Louis.
- I'm Dan.
- Are you a regular swinger, Dan? Something tells me this isn't your first time.
This week, yes.
Have you got a plan of attack for this evening? - Yes.
- He plans to attack anything that he can.
You have to tell us what your fantasy is and we'll fulfil it.
Yeah, my fantasy is getting through the evening alive.
Let's just turn the lights on.
I've got so much stuff in here, I'm crazy about rubber and fetish stuff.
You can use anything you want in here.
There's stuff in the closet I can get out for you.
How's it going? Fine.
- This is your first party? - It is.
- What d'you think? - I like it.
I think I'll stick around.
Is there anyone here that you're interested in? - Yes.
- Who? Her.
- Really? - Yes.
This is my fantasy.
How's the party going, do you think? Good, yeah.
What's happening around the different rooms, do you know? No, I don't know.
I don't go in the rooms.
Aren't you going to be doing any swinging? No, I'm too tired.
Right, you look tired.
- Come out to the pool area.
- No, because people are still coming in.
0h, are they? So, if they're new, they need to be shown around.
Yeah.
0h, well.
- I'd love to.
- It's all work for you, isn't it? - I'll catch you later.
- 0K.
Have a good time.
Hey, how you doing? I disappeared on you for a few minutes, sorry.
Where did you go? I started in the rest room and just kinda talked my way back.
Has anyone propositioned you yet? 0h, sure.
- Really? - Yeah.
I missed that.
Sorry.
It's all right.
What happened? Nothing.
I said maybe later.
I also talked to Gary a little bit about maybe dressing up.
He's got this whole rubber I love to dress up.
Do you? - He's got this whole rubber thing.
- Go for it.
He said he didn't want to horn in on what was going on with you.
- Did he really? - Yes, he did.
- No! - He's very nice.
- Did he say that? - Yeah.
- What a sweetheart.
- Yeah.
- So, it was just kind of whatever I was up for.
- Yeah, and what did you say? I said let's see what happens later.
- It sounds kinda fun.
- Yeah, wicked.
He's a big guy.
What's he doing now? What do you think of Laura? 0h, very nice lady.
Yeah, very nice.
Extremely.
Actually, I'd say extremely nice.
Yeah, wonderful.
So, are you gonna do anything or? It's funny you should say that, cos I was gonna ask you that question.
Er, you mean with Laura, if you don't? I could've been imagining it, but I thought I saw you stroking her shoulder.
0h, yeah, that wasn't imagination.
No, no, she's very nice.
She likes to have massages, you know? - Does she? - Yeah.
She didn't tell you that? - We didn't get to that.
- She's a very fun lady.
I don't know what I'm doing, that's the problem.
You know what? Nobody knows what they're doing.
They just go along.
- Would you like to go to the group room? - Um Yes, say yes.
0K.
You don't have to do anything you don't wanna do, 0K? I'm fully clothed - what am I gonna do? There's a lot of things we can do with your clothes on, but you don't have to do anything you don't wanna do.
Let's go.
You brought the fucking camera with you.
Yee-ha! Louis, this is the group, one of the group rooms.
Is Dan in here? Hi, guys.
You're welcome to come or don't come if you don't want to.
0K, I'll see you later.
I'm sure you will, Louis, thank you.
- Bye.
- Come again any time.
How you doing? I went in the group room and I'm not gonna forget that in a hurry.
So, is everything working out 0K? Yeah, really well.
Do you have any Laura mentioned that you told her about your the latex room.
Uh-huh, yeah, she likes it.
She thinks it's very interesting.
It is interesting.
I don't think anyone would question that.
She said she likes to dress up and try different things.
Well, that's all part of it, so This wasn't going to plan.
The group room was a washout.
My date had vanished.
The party was passing me by.
It was time to make one last token effort to get involved.
Now, I'm in the pool, I've taken my clothes off and I'm swimming around, I'm talking to you, am I doing the right thing - am I swinging now? No, you're not swinging.
You are blending to the level that you can afford it, because swinging and having sex, it's something that some do it, some don't.
You have to be emotionally and psychologically prepared.
You have to feel totally free like if you were all by yourself with a woman in the desert.
Yeah, I don't feel that way.
- No.
- Why? It's very normal because it's the first time.
It will take some time to get used to that.
But, the more you come to the parties, the more your mind will ease up to that, then you are in the right place.
0therwise, you're gonna have a bad time.
Sounds right.
Hey, Margaret, has it been an 0K party? It's been very good.
It's worked out real good.
- You're so tired.
- How are you doing? - I'm doing all right.
- How do you like your first experience? Yeah, good.
I didn't swing or anything.
That's 0K too.
Just because you go to a swing club doesn't mean you have to swing.
Yeah.
Because everybody goes at their own pace.
It's not mandatory.
It's just up to the individual.
I didn't see you do a lot of swinging.
No, you didn't see me do any.
No kidding.
I didn't see you have any fun either.
- I'm having fun.
- Yeah, you look like it, I don't think.
No, everything's fine.
Yeah.
I'm gonna put these in at the bar.
- Gimme an errand to do.
- Take this to the bar.
Thank you.
- The outside one or the inside one? - Inside.
- Hey, Gary.
- Caught me unawares there.
- What's happening with you? - I was just in the pool for a while.
- Yes.
- Really nice.
Were you massaging a woman who was wearing latex? Yeah.
Jennifer? - Yeah.
- You oughta try that.
She's in the Jacuzzi.
You oughta try it.
- 0K.
- Very nice lady.
Jennifer's one of a kind.
You're never gonna meet another woman like Jennifer.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
She'll do anything and to anybody.
- Is that right? - Yeah, at any time.
- Good.
- Yeah.
Well, the guy on the top's got a problem.
- What? - He didn't say.
- Yes, you did.
- I'll definitely come back again.
I like the place very much.
Very nice atmosphere.
- 0K! - Bye, Dotty! Are these yours? No.
Did you have some of the cake? No, I'm not really a cake eater.
I did grab a couple of your cookies.
0h, I see, you just come here and grab our cookies and go.
Why don't you spank me, I stole some cookies! I've got to strip-search her.
Are you coming? - Here you go.
- Thank you.
Thank you very much for coming over and sharing with us our unforgettable experience and I hope we'll see you again.
I'm sure we will.
Where are you off to now? To have another quickie because we have two hours more to go.
That's why it's gonna be a quickie because it's hour and a half.
- See you, Gary.
- Bye, thank you.
See you again.
The next morning I went back to Gary and Margaret's happy home to help with the mopping up.
Even after attending a party, I still found the idea of swinging slightly incomprehensible.
Your dogs have turned savage.
Just on the day after.
They revert back to their usual self.
- Do they? How's it going? - Fine.
- Did you have a good time last night? - Yeah, I did.
- Met some nice people, huh? - It was weird, though.
- What was weird? - Um Well, all the people having sex.
Well, that's what it's about, isn't it, part of it? - Yeah.
- This is a swing club, right? So I hear.
You don't think that's weird? No, not if everybody knows what the place is.
Unusual, though.
Yeah, for people who haven't done it, yeah.
Until you get used to it, it's all new.
You know.
It takes a while to get used to it.
Did I seem like I was having a good time? 0h, yeah, yeah.
You did very good.
You did very good for a first time.
Thank you very much.
Did you like Laura? - She was very nice.
- Yeah.
Yeah, she was a nice personality.
- Yeah.
- Very nice.
- Gary seemed to like her.
- Yeah, yeah.
You can talk to Gary more about that.
- Yeah.
- So 0K, I'm gonna go in the other room right now.
Whoa! This is pretty hot.
It must be like 100 degrees.
It's probably about 103 or 4 right now.
You know, Gary, I actually did poke my head into the group room.
Uh-huh? - And - Quite a sight, huh? Instead of experiencing any sort of arousal, actually it made me fearful.
Well, it would do that if you weren't used to those kind of sights, I would suppose.
But, it's something you gotta get used to, I suppose.
Is this at all weird to you? What? I mean, unusual - just the idea of a few hours ago you had four couples in the group room servicing each other? The thing is, a lot of times at just ordinary parties, or weddings, especially at weddings, people are doing all kind of things that you don't know about.
It's just that here, you take it for granted that things are happening and you know about it.
So in the context of swinging, you were totally faithful to Margaret last night? 0h, yeah, sure.
Yeah.
People don't understand that, er They say "You can't love your wife, you can't love your husband if you allow them to do this.
" That's because they have certain rules that they're living by and it wouldn't be appropriate for them.
But you can't put that on somebody else.
You should just let 'em do what they wanna do and not worry about it.
I kinda think of that part of my life as a mistake, I guess.
- Really? - A learning experience but a mistake.
I got involved in a bad club and made some bad decisions, but that's my personal experience.
I think there's plenty of people that find it to be a very satisfying lifestyle and who enjoy it and it works fine with their relationships.
Would you swing again? Mm-mm.
Why? Um I don't think it's right for me.
I think a one-on-one good relationship is just right for me.
Can you identify the time when it was that you basically made the transition from finding it extremely appealing and fun to thinking it's kinda revolting? I guess maybe finding a really good relationship.
That was probably the only thing that did it.
- You found one? - Mm-hm.
Yeah.
With a guy? No, with a girl.
- Really? - Really.
Yeah.
Seems like a very nice lady.
- Yeah.
- Very attractive too.
- Yeah.
- Beautiful, yeah.
Were you thinking about maybe? Cos a lot of people would think you were picking her up.
No, I'm not, not really.
They would think that.
I think she'd have a great time at the party.
Yeah.
With you, at the party? - I don't know.
- Maybe.
Would that be 0K with Margaret? I think so, yeah.
- You think so? - Yeah, sure.
- You think so? - Yeah.
But you're not sure? Southern California, a land of unlimited possibilities.
Home to a subculture of middle-class couples who embrace all the core values of America except one - monogamy.
They call themselves "members of the lifestyle" or "swingers".
My mission - to go to a swing party.
My first contact, Gary and Margaret.
He works for a large corporation that will remain nameless.
She's a homemaker.
Together they run a regular swing party, right out of their suburban home.
Are you Margaret? - Yeah.
- No! Are you? - Yeah.
- I'm Louis.
- Hi, Louis.
- From BBC 2.
How you doing? - Fine, real good.
- Where's Gary? - Are you Gary? - Yeah.
- I'm Louis.
It's good to meet you.
- Hi.
I'm interested in finding out what it means to be a swinger.
Sure, whatever I can tell you, that'd be great.
What I'd like to do is take a look around the premises, cos I understand you've done quite a lot with it.
Yeah, we've added a lot of stuff.
In fact, a great deal of the stuff in our house and outside is stuff that we got from what we call yard sales.
This room is our indoor group room Wow! for group activities and multiple couples and that kinda stuff and they can use this whole area as a play room.
- People come and go through here.
- So, this is like the orgy room? Yeah.
Yeah, technically speaking.
Do you keep this pretty clean? 0h, yeah.
We leave out We put out a lot of towels for people.
If there's any kind of fluid, it's polite not to get the mattress wet.
It seems like you've got kind of a space-age theme going on on the walls.
Yeah.
When I get around to it, this whole room is gonna be redone into a kind of a Star Wars, outer space type of theme.
So, if I were at a Gary and Margaret party and I saw a young woman who I was maybe interested in, I could say "I'll meet you in the Star Wars room"? - Yeah.
- "For a group sex session"? Yeah, sort of.
So, let's say I come in here and I'm interested in what's going on, can I just dive in? No, not specifically, no.
First you'd say, "Would anybody mind if I join in a little bit?" You'd say something like that.
You don't have to but it's polite if you do.
So, let's say I'm stroking your hair and your thigh, and then I want to go to the next level and involve one of the primary erogenous zones.
Right.
- Can I just sort of take it there? - Yeah.
Does that basically mean you have carte blanche to investigate everyone else who's in the group room? No, just that particular person.
If they take your hand and put it off themselves or give you a signal that they don't want any other person involved right now, then you have to go with that.
Through here is another more interesting room.
Wow! This is one of our other bedrooms.
This is where I keep all my I'm looking at I'm looking at swimming masks, snorkels.
This is sort of a what - underwater scuba room? Yeah, this is where I keep all my fetish stuff.
I have a big collection of rubber and fetish stuff and I keep it in this room, which a lot of the guests we have here like to use.
So, what's the thing about rubber - what is the appeal? It's more of a psychological than a physical thing.
- That's your cup of tea, is it? - That's one of the things I like a lot.
So I decided when we got our own place, that I'd have a place to store all my stuff and have access to it and to use and for other people to use.
I'm being drawn towards this item here.
Yeah.
In fact, at the last party, a lady wore that.
She was a lot of fun.
- She wore that? - Yeah, yeah, she really did.
A lot of people come here always looking for something new.
Different and new to try out because they've been married for 25, 30 years, and they've kinda gone around the block a few times, you know? They like to pull into a different driveway every once in a while.
This is what we call a pony chair.
That's one of our specialty items.
It's a table with a foam mattress on top.
- You made this? - Yeah, made it myself.
Matter of fact, we made three of 'em.
Then it has these little braces here on the corners.
I feel like one of us should demonstrate.
Why don't you demonstrate? - Does it have to be me? - Yes, I own the place.
We have a lot of ladies who might be a little overweight and sometimes it's hard for them to keep their legs up in the air, and this allows them to relax more and to still have access, but it's much more comfortable for them and they use it a lot.
It is comfortable.
I feel vulnerable, though.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Right.
I could go for this, I guess, if I relaxed and And let your mind wander.
I'm curious to know if your parents or your friends who don't know you're into swinging, if they come round, they come into this room I keep this room locked.
This is the only room that I keep locked when we have people over who aren't into the scene.
What about the room with all the mattresses on the floor? I just close the door and if someone goes in there and says "What are all the mattresses for?" We have a lot of friends and that's where they can sleep if they wanna stay over.
And they believe it? 0h, sure.
Plus we have regular parties and we have a lot of my relatives over.
- And they do sleep in there.
- Yes.
And if it's an afternoon barbecue or something and they want to take a nap, they go in the room, they take a nap.
Little knowing what went on there the Saturday before.
Exactly.
There are a lot of TVs in the house.
Why is that? 0ne of the things that you have to have at swing parties is adult movies playing.
People love to watch adult movies.
They love to sit and watch 'em and it just kinda helps put them in the mood.
So, give me an example - "That guy's attractive" or something.
Well, I wouldn't say that.
You could say, "Boy, those are enormous breasts" and she goes "Yes, they are" and you take the conversation from there and it actually gives you something to talk about that you can both look at, and then you try to get an idea of what might be going though her mind.
Yeah, that's good.
Good conversation starter.
This is a unit that we, er had built.
There are spaces on each side and in the back that have single beds and another group area in the back.
What if you're in here and you see an attractive couple or three or four people in here, and you're thinking, "I wanna jump in there.
" So you would ask, but what would you say - it's such an embarrassing question.
Well, embarrassing is something that you'll have to deal with and get over, because it is embarrassing somewhat, but how else are you gonna get anything done? 0K, this is nice.
This is really nice! This is kinda what we're known for, is our back yard and pool area.
This is fabulous.
It's a really warm pool.
In fact, stick your hand in there, and you can tell how nice and warm it is.
It's like bathwater.
It's really relaxing and you get a lot of muscles sore and you wanna get in here and relax.
And a lot of sexual activity does take place in the pool.
Is that hygienic? I have a really good filter on the pool.
How is it that neighbours aren't gonna see what's going on? Look, Gary, I can see a window over there in a neighbouring house.
You're a little taller and they'd have to stand on a bench or a table to be up enough to look in this way, and what are they gonna see? They're gonna see the top of your head.
- Smiling.
- Yeah.
Don't you get to pair off with someone? I usually stay outside most of the evening and Margaret runs the inside of the house.
But I think tonight will be an excellent night.
I know several ladies who will be coming that are very nice and I've had fun with in the past, so that makes it much easier.
- Easier for what? - Well, to do some sexual stuff.
So, where are we going, Margaret? Vons supermarket.
Vons supermarket? - Yes.
- To get stuff for the party? - Yes.
- And do you know what we need to get? - A lot of stuff.
- Like what? 0h, we need cold drinks, thinks like that.
- Yeah.
- We need, er Condoms? Well, everybody does that part.
Everyone brings their own? Yeah.
Couldn't afford that.
And here's Vons! How's your cart? - 0K.
- Is it a good one? - Uh-huh.
- That's important.
- What's on the list? - Beans, chips, paper goods Pick out a watermelon.
That's a good one.
Pick out a lettuce.
- A lettuce? - Down there.
We're gonna save this section here for the sodas.
- 0K.
- Yeah.
So, we wanna put these up here.
- Sorry about that.
- That's 0K.
How long have you been swinging, Margaret? A long time - since the '70s.
Since the '70s? So you're like one of the original swingers, cos the '70s were like known for swinging.
Yeah.
Do you ever get funny looks when you buy so much stuff? Um sometimes.
So if they ask, what's your cover story? We're having a pool party.
- A pool party? - Yeah.
That's not lying.
And you don't have to say "A lot of people will be naked and having sex"? 0h, no.
They'd freak out! Why would I say that? Why do you think they'd freak out? Just because they would.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- So, where to now, Margaret? - Cigarettes.
Can we mention what the food's for to the cashier? No! - She's quite attractive.
- 0K, go ahead.
I'll ask her if she wants to come to the party.
No.
- Definitely no? - That's right.
We're doing a documentary on American grocery stores and how big they are for England, cos English people don't have anything this big.
- Is that right? - Yeah.
What's happening, Margaret? You don't have a store like this in England, do you? - We don't have Vons in England, I don't think.
- I mean big stores like this, overall.
You don't have anything this big? - Not really, no.
- Not this big.
We We sort of do, actually.
I understand you have smaller shop-like places or supermarkets.
We have those too, yeah.
I mean, is Were you just giving her a cover story? - Mm-hm.
- Why? Because it sounds good.
Yeah, why? What's the matter? Nothing.
- Were you telling lies? - No.
- Fibs? - No.
- We're not doing a documentary - No, be quiet! We're not.
Margaret, we're not doing a documentary on grocery stores.
Don't give me a hard time.
We're not, though.
Just one moment, I'll get your receipt for you.
Margaret, you seemed to get kind of agitated in there.
You just can't go up to somebody and say, "Why don't you come to a screw party?" You're liable to get smacked right in the head.
I wasn't gonna say screw party.
0r whatever.
0K, swing.
That seems kind of a shame if you can't tell other people about your lifestyle and about what you care about most in the world in a way.
You just can't! That seems like a shame.
What d'you think she would've thought? D'you think she'd have thought you were weird? Yeah.
Yeah.
Exactly.
So if I plan on coming back here to shop, I don't want a bunch of people standing around talking about me, because I'm shopping.
See? Cos they It would be like a big gossip thing that people do.
So, you're leading this secret life, kind of? If somebody is into it, they're gonna get in touch with us.
We don't just go We might as well put a sign on us saying what we do, you know.
I'm sorry if I embarrassed you.
No, no, it's fine.
0K, what's the plan? There's a couple of yard sales down the street, but we don't want the neighbours to know exactly what kind of parties we have.
- Why? - Well, because sometimes - Shall we talk about this on the way down? - If you want to, sure.
You never really know what kind of reaction you'll get from people.
All our neighbours here know that we have parties, but I don't tell 'em all the details.
So, let's say we go down there and we see a bedcover.
And I say "This is perfect, Gary, "this looks like we could have three people having sex on this"? - Don't say that.
- 0K, here's our cover story.
We're making a documentary about yard sales, 0K? That'd be perfect.
- Margaret? - Simple.
Shall we go? The earlier you get there, the better bargains you get.
- Yeah, that's what I reckon.
- Yeah.
Gary? No, we don't need this.
- How about that? - No, don't need that.
How you doing? We're making a documentary about yard sales.
English TV.
This we might use for outside.
They seem suspicious.
No.
No.
That is pretty cool.
- There's a chain link fence.
- Yeah, don't need that.
How are you doing? We're just making a documentary about yard sales.
How much for the bathrobe? We're from BBC 2 and we're doing a documentary about yard sales.
- 0K.
- Isn't that right, Gary? 0h, yeah, yeah.
What are you doing? Later on, you can just go around like that.
During the evening.
- How did we do? - Excellent.
Why do you put so much work into it? What makes it worthwhile? You haven't seen the women that come here, have you? What about you, then, Margaret? - What? - And some of the guys that come here.
Gary and Margaret's.
Yes, we do.
Twice a month.
0n the second and third Saturdays of each month.
Are you a couple? 0K, great.
0nly rules are basically no heavy drinking, of course no drugs whatsoever, and politeness and, you know, niceness.
0K? 0K, we'll see you here tonight at eight.
Bye.
That's a good couple.
So when you're on the phone, are you screening them? Actually one of the reasons that people, what they call screening is, is that if you're not really attractive, they don't want to have you at their party.
And you think that's bad? I think everybody should be able to attend any party.
We have couples of all sizes and shapes and ethnic backgrounds and coupling.
- Because once you start doing that - Where does it end? Which is not fair.
Everybody can have a good time.
It sounds as though you've got to know me and maybe I've passed kind of a, I don't want to say test, but Initial test.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Why? - You're fine.
Why? Well, because you have a really good attitude and you're not afraid to ask questions.
- Yeah.
- And I think you'll have a great time.
If I wanted to actually swing, how would that work? I just come along to your party, would I come as a single guy? If you wanted to come to one of our regular parties, you have to come as a couple.
- Yeah.
- Bring a lady friend with you.
I feel like I'm going beyond being a reporter, and I'm on the verge of making a leap into the world of swinging, as a full-fledged participant.
Yeah, you might wanna leap into the shallow end first.
Why? Because the deep end can sometimes be pretty deep.
The group room is the deep end? - Very deep.
- Yeah.
And yet I feel myself being inexorably drawn towards the group room.
Thanks very much.
That was great, it was really fun.
Thank you.
Thank you.
That was great.
- See you soon I hope.
- Thanks for coming over.
My pleasure.
Next time I see you, we won't be wearing anything.
- 0K.
- 0r just little towels.
0K.
Space, the final frontier.
To seek out new life and new civilisations.
To boldly go where no man has gone before.
I didn't have anyone to take to Gary and Margaret's, but I heard about another swing club, the Cibrian Club, where single guys are welcome.
I'd spoken to the manager, Don.
He suggested I spend some time with one of his hostesses, called Cara, who helps organise his club's parties.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Are you Cara? - Yes.
- I'm Louis.
- Come in.
- How do you do? - Fine, nice to meet you.
- Wow, nice place.
- Thank you.
What's with the Winnie the Pooh theme that's running throughout? I like Winnie the Pooh.
My kitchen is also done in Winnie the Pooh, so - Really? - Yeah.
- May I look at the books? - Go for it.
- What's that one called? - The Ethical Slut.
This is pretty hardcore.
Slut skills, slut styles, group sex, public sex, orgies.
It just kinda tells you, respect other people.
You know, you can do your thing, be who you are, experiment all you want but just respect other people's feelings.
It sounds as though you're almost researching this like a project, the sex thing.
If I'm gonna do something, I'm gonna do it.
Well, I admire your, um Tenacity.
- Good word.
- Thank you.
What does it mean to be in the lifestyle? Having sex with lots of different people? I don't want people to get that impression, that it's about having sex with a lot of people - I don't think that's what it is.
I personally, I don't know if I should say this, I don't have sex with people at parties.
There's just an openness about your sexuality and your whole being.
I thought the lifestyle of swinging basically meant going to parties as a couple and hooking up with other couples and having sex with other people, maybe even group sex.
There's so many things you can do.
You go down on people.
You give everybody, you know, oral, you perform oral sex, there's kissing, there's, I mean, swinging is a lot more than just sex.
You don't just walk into a room and everybody starts to have sex.
Like Don explains it, there's so much nurturing, you know? He has a mathematical equation for it.
It's like 20% nurturing, 20% sex and 60% socialising.
So there's so much more involved than just sex.
What is nurturing? When you see people you give them a hug, and you walk round and hold hands, you touch each other.
You just kind of like show affection and like, not love but caring and compassion Massage? Not really even massage, you know, just closeness.
You said going down on people? - Mm-hm.
- Some people would class that as sex.
- 0ral sex.
- Yeah.
It's oral sex, that's how I consider it.
It's a sexual act.
Would that fall under nurturing, socialising or sex? I guess it would go more in the sex category, so, yes, I guess that would.
I personally just like to avoid intercourse, so - Really? - Really.
- Are you bi-curious? - I am.
What does that actually mean, bi-curious? I know what my definition is.
I can give you my definition.
Yeah, yeah? Um Just curious as to the female side, you know, being with females.
- Sexually? - Gay, yeah.
Being, you know, possibly gay, borderline.
So, did you attend any parties at all, yet? I haven't been to one yet.
Why, do you think I should go? I really think you should.
You could do this whole documentary but it's really something that you have to, like, see for yourself, I guess.
So, I've got to ask you one thing though.
As a young single female in the swinging community, you're pretty different than the other people I've spoken to.
Mm-hm.
Do you think you're unusual as a swinger? Yes.
How does that, um affect things? How does it affect things? Um it makes me more in demand I think.
- Does it? - Yes.
- What's that like? - Um Flattering.
Definitely flattering.
Is there, I mean Is there a down side? Is there a down side? Don't you find men preying on you or couples or No! How can you see that as a negative? - Really? - Why? It just seems like you're quite vulnerable or maybe I'm being old-fashioned.
You're being old-fashioned.
- Really? - I think so.
Are you ready to shop? This is it.
Yeah, I am ready to shop.
Definitely primo.
What d'you think about this? Um I think it's 0oh, I'm liking this.
What d'you think? For Louis? He says he's going for the mod look.
I think this'll be good.
I found another one.
- Kinda goes with the whole bowling theme.
- Yeah.
- Yes.
- Really? I wanna see it on.
Primo, for sure.
The overall question is, what impression are you trying to convey with these clothes? You wanna impress people, I guess.
You wanna make them want to be with you.
Sexually? Yeah.
Yeah.
Because you're at a swinging party and you are looking for? - Sex.
- Sex.
- Sex.
- 0r nurturing.
Nurturing, could be.
You wanna be somebody that somebody would wanna Sleep with but also relate to and communicate with? - Correct? - Correct.
So that means you wanna look sexy but also cuddly and warm.
Cuddly and warm, or just the kind of person people would wanna be with.
- Yeah.
Sexually? - Sexually.
Cuddly and warm, you can use that.
- 0h, yeah! - What? No, do you think so? - Yes! - Isn't it too big, though? Well, the other one you wanted larger.
The neck - My neck looks like a pencil.
- It's really the style right now.
The other swingers I've spoken to have not put a huge amount of store in personal appearance.
They said it wasn't very important.
0h, for the Cibrian Club it actually is.
- Really? - It really is.
We have a kind of a rating system for couples and single guys.
We try to As Don says, there's a lot of dog shows.
There are a lot of what? Dog shows, shows where there's dogs.
Ugly women, ugly men, you know.
And so, I think, at any point in time, you'd wanna give a good personal appearance, and present yourself well.
It's not that we're unaccepting and will turn away people, but We would prefer people who were just a little bit more, you know, upper.
- Upper? - Upper.
Upper class, you know? We have special parties for people who are on our code system, who are a little bit higher.
- Really? - We call that a Club Ten party.
A Club Ten party? Because there are so many people who aren't appealing, we wanna weed those out.
We're not saying we're unaccepting of people like that, but it's important.
I think it's very important.
Just the fact they're at a party, doesn't mean your standards automatically drop, I don't think.
Not mine.
So how does Don rate people? Appearance.
Sociability - you know, can they carry a good conversation? You know, would they be a wallflower? What they do for a living.
Their standing.
- Social status.
- Yes.
Pretty much those three things.
- And intelligence.
- And intelligence? Mm-hm.
I think that plays a role.
So, out of ten, it's just one number, is it? - Pretty much.
- Did he rate you? Um He might've.
Probably.
I think I probably got a good rating, I think.
I would hope so.
If I met Don, could he rate me? Could he? Yes.
I could rate you, please.
Well? Um I think as an all-over picture, I'd give you, as a single guy, an eight or a nine.
Definitely.
So I stand a chance? Fairly, yes, I believe so.
In my opinion, yes.
Very social, very upbeat, very personable.
Definitely somebody that would get involved.
You don't have a party if you don't.
0K, my lucky shirt.
Well, there you go, now you're fashionable.
Even though I was an eight or maybe a nine, I'd come to the conclusion that the Cibrian Club wasn't my kind of place.
I wasn't even sure if it was right for Cara.
Thank you very much.
Hug.
Thank you.
- Nurturing.
- Nurturing, that's what it's all about.
- Bye.
- Bye.
I decided to take a stab at getting into Gary and Margaret's and I had an idea.
LA Weekly.
Hi, I'm calling because I'd like to place an ad in your newspaper.
OK, what kind of ad would you like to place? I'm looking for a single woman who's into swinging and doesn't mind I need someone to take along to a swinging event.
What shall I do - may I dictate it to you? Sure.
0K.
English TV presenter seeks swinging partner for entrée into the lifestyle.
6ft 2ins, 160lbs Hi, this is Louis Theroux from the BBC, thanks for calling.
Please leave a message telling me a little bit about yourself, what you're looking for and your name and number after the beep, thanks very much.
Hi, Louis, my name is Monica, I'm 36 and blonde, 5'7", pretty.
Hi, my name's Cynthia, my stage name's Tiger, I'm a stripper in Orange County, I'm looking for someone who's carefree and fun.
I'm outgoing, sarcastic, very, kinda weird introverted and extroverted, depending on what day you get me.
I'm over 300lbs, my marriage is, um, is Just dissolved.
I'm a slim redhead with mysterious green eyes.
I like to party, have a good time, go to clubs.
I'm answering your ad.
Unfortunately, I'm not a female but I am bi-curious.
Hi, Louis, my name is Laura and I live in Venice Beach, right on the Boardwalk.
I'm 40 years old, single woman, I've been involved in the lifestyle for the past year.
I'm 5'8", 125lbs, very athletic.
I love outdoor sports of all kinds.
I'm a retired real estate executive.
Um Well educated, I like music and books and um all those other things, especially sex.
So, anyway, if you're interested in talking further, you know how to reach me.
I don't think I've said this yet, but thank you very much for coming with me, because by bringing you that's how I'm allowed to go to the party.
- 0h, you're welcome.
- Seriously.
I've done that a few times for um husbands of couples that I know, whose wives are out of town or something.
I've gone as the spare woman of the moment.
- Is that true? - Really.
And the wives have known? Yes.
Yes, they usually ask ahead of time.
And how has that worked out in general? It works out great.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
They're usually close friends of mine.
I've only done it twice now and they've been very close friends of mine, so it's been simple.
And you've ended up swinging with the friend or with someone you met at the party? Both, so - I'm basically here as a as a journalist.
- Right.
Do you think people will respect my boundaries? I wouldn't worry about that.
I've been at lots of parties where there have been people there who've never swung, never participated.
I've been in some where it's obvious that it's gonna take somebody a while to loosen up, but then you haven't really made the decision to join the swing scene, so 0oh, don't forget the food.
Just so I know what to expect.
When we go in There's no pressure for anything to start right away.
Where does it go from there? Usually something sparks a party.
I don't know what it is.
It's different in different places.
Maybe a massage, something like that that someone gives someone else.
So, we're not gonna go in there and just see a heap of throbbing flesh? - Writhing bodies? No, no.
Nervous? Yeah, I am a bit, yeah.
You've just gotta enjoy yourself, that's the important thing, right? No pressure.
0K.
- After you.
- 0K.
- Hi! - Hi! - Margaret, this is Laura.
- 0h, you made it! - Yes, we did.
- Hi, how d'you do? - Margaret, Laura.
- I'm Laura, nice to meet you.
- We brought our food dish.
- If you wanna put that around the corner.
What's the suggested donation? It's 30 a couple.
And the first time you come here, you'll receive a membership card dated for one year and that's ten.
0K, let's do it.
- 0K.
- 0K.
Here's your card.
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
- Hey.
- Hey, Gary, good to see you.
- You made it, huh? - Yeah.
This is my friend, Laura.
- Hi, Gary.
- Hi, how are you? - First time here, then, right? - First time here, yes.
Great, wonderful.
All right, did Margaret take care of The business side? Yeah.
- You've been to other places? - Mm-hm.
Where have you been? Freda Makers, Four Palms, Seven of Nine, I went to the convention.
- Were you there? - You better show me around.
You wait here, she'll show me around, if we're not back in an hour, just send out a search party.
0K.
Hi, I'm Laura.
- I'm Mark.
- Mark, nice to meet you.
- Pleasure.
- Hi, I'm Tani.
Tani, nice to meet you.
I didn't say hello.
I'm Louis.
- I'm Mark, Louis.
- Mark, nice to meet you.
- I'm Tani.
- Tani, nice to meet you.
How do you do? - Nice-looking couple.
- They seem nice.
Yes, they do.
- What's your name? - Dotty.
- Dotty, I'm Louis.
- Louis, nice to meet you.
- How do you do? - I do well.
- Good.
- Quite well.
Glad to hear it.
This is Laura.
- We should toast.
- 0K.
- To? - To swinging.
- 0K.
- To swinging.
- To your first party.
- Yeah, my first party.
You're kidding? - 0h, to initiations.
- Initiations.
Who did you come with, Dotty? - Dan.
- Dan? Right here.
- Hi.
- Hi, I'm Louis.
- I'm Dan.
- Are you a regular swinger, Dan? Something tells me this isn't your first time.
This week, yes.
Have you got a plan of attack for this evening? - Yes.
- He plans to attack anything that he can.
You have to tell us what your fantasy is and we'll fulfil it.
Yeah, my fantasy is getting through the evening alive.
Let's just turn the lights on.
I've got so much stuff in here, I'm crazy about rubber and fetish stuff.
You can use anything you want in here.
There's stuff in the closet I can get out for you.
How's it going? Fine.
- This is your first party? - It is.
- What d'you think? - I like it.
I think I'll stick around.
Is there anyone here that you're interested in? - Yes.
- Who? Her.
- Really? - Yes.
This is my fantasy.
How's the party going, do you think? Good, yeah.
What's happening around the different rooms, do you know? No, I don't know.
I don't go in the rooms.
Aren't you going to be doing any swinging? No, I'm too tired.
Right, you look tired.
- Come out to the pool area.
- No, because people are still coming in.
0h, are they? So, if they're new, they need to be shown around.
Yeah.
0h, well.
- I'd love to.
- It's all work for you, isn't it? - I'll catch you later.
- 0K.
Have a good time.
Hey, how you doing? I disappeared on you for a few minutes, sorry.
Where did you go? I started in the rest room and just kinda talked my way back.
Has anyone propositioned you yet? 0h, sure.
- Really? - Yeah.
I missed that.
Sorry.
It's all right.
What happened? Nothing.
I said maybe later.
I also talked to Gary a little bit about maybe dressing up.
He's got this whole rubber I love to dress up.
Do you? - He's got this whole rubber thing.
- Go for it.
He said he didn't want to horn in on what was going on with you.
- Did he really? - Yes, he did.
- No! - He's very nice.
- Did he say that? - Yeah.
- What a sweetheart.
- Yeah.
- So, it was just kind of whatever I was up for.
- Yeah, and what did you say? I said let's see what happens later.
- It sounds kinda fun.
- Yeah, wicked.
He's a big guy.
What's he doing now? What do you think of Laura? 0h, very nice lady.
Yeah, very nice.
Extremely.
Actually, I'd say extremely nice.
Yeah, wonderful.
So, are you gonna do anything or? It's funny you should say that, cos I was gonna ask you that question.
Er, you mean with Laura, if you don't? I could've been imagining it, but I thought I saw you stroking her shoulder.
0h, yeah, that wasn't imagination.
No, no, she's very nice.
She likes to have massages, you know? - Does she? - Yeah.
She didn't tell you that? - We didn't get to that.
- She's a very fun lady.
I don't know what I'm doing, that's the problem.
You know what? Nobody knows what they're doing.
They just go along.
- Would you like to go to the group room? - Um Yes, say yes.
0K.
You don't have to do anything you don't wanna do, 0K? I'm fully clothed - what am I gonna do? There's a lot of things we can do with your clothes on, but you don't have to do anything you don't wanna do.
Let's go.
You brought the fucking camera with you.
Yee-ha! Louis, this is the group, one of the group rooms.
Is Dan in here? Hi, guys.
You're welcome to come or don't come if you don't want to.
0K, I'll see you later.
I'm sure you will, Louis, thank you.
- Bye.
- Come again any time.
How you doing? I went in the group room and I'm not gonna forget that in a hurry.
So, is everything working out 0K? Yeah, really well.
Do you have any Laura mentioned that you told her about your the latex room.
Uh-huh, yeah, she likes it.
She thinks it's very interesting.
It is interesting.
I don't think anyone would question that.
She said she likes to dress up and try different things.
Well, that's all part of it, so This wasn't going to plan.
The group room was a washout.
My date had vanished.
The party was passing me by.
It was time to make one last token effort to get involved.
Now, I'm in the pool, I've taken my clothes off and I'm swimming around, I'm talking to you, am I doing the right thing - am I swinging now? No, you're not swinging.
You are blending to the level that you can afford it, because swinging and having sex, it's something that some do it, some don't.
You have to be emotionally and psychologically prepared.
You have to feel totally free like if you were all by yourself with a woman in the desert.
Yeah, I don't feel that way.
- No.
- Why? It's very normal because it's the first time.
It will take some time to get used to that.
But, the more you come to the parties, the more your mind will ease up to that, then you are in the right place.
0therwise, you're gonna have a bad time.
Sounds right.
Hey, Margaret, has it been an 0K party? It's been very good.
It's worked out real good.
- You're so tired.
- How are you doing? - I'm doing all right.
- How do you like your first experience? Yeah, good.
I didn't swing or anything.
That's 0K too.
Just because you go to a swing club doesn't mean you have to swing.
Yeah.
Because everybody goes at their own pace.
It's not mandatory.
It's just up to the individual.
I didn't see you do a lot of swinging.
No, you didn't see me do any.
No kidding.
I didn't see you have any fun either.
- I'm having fun.
- Yeah, you look like it, I don't think.
No, everything's fine.
Yeah.
I'm gonna put these in at the bar.
- Gimme an errand to do.
- Take this to the bar.
Thank you.
- The outside one or the inside one? - Inside.
- Hey, Gary.
- Caught me unawares there.
- What's happening with you? - I was just in the pool for a while.
- Yes.
- Really nice.
Were you massaging a woman who was wearing latex? Yeah.
Jennifer? - Yeah.
- You oughta try that.
She's in the Jacuzzi.
You oughta try it.
- 0K.
- Very nice lady.
Jennifer's one of a kind.
You're never gonna meet another woman like Jennifer.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
She'll do anything and to anybody.
- Is that right? - Yeah, at any time.
- Good.
- Yeah.
Well, the guy on the top's got a problem.
- What? - He didn't say.
- Yes, you did.
- I'll definitely come back again.
I like the place very much.
Very nice atmosphere.
- 0K! - Bye, Dotty! Are these yours? No.
Did you have some of the cake? No, I'm not really a cake eater.
I did grab a couple of your cookies.
0h, I see, you just come here and grab our cookies and go.
Why don't you spank me, I stole some cookies! I've got to strip-search her.
Are you coming? - Here you go.
- Thank you.
Thank you very much for coming over and sharing with us our unforgettable experience and I hope we'll see you again.
I'm sure we will.
Where are you off to now? To have another quickie because we have two hours more to go.
That's why it's gonna be a quickie because it's hour and a half.
- See you, Gary.
- Bye, thank you.
See you again.
The next morning I went back to Gary and Margaret's happy home to help with the mopping up.
Even after attending a party, I still found the idea of swinging slightly incomprehensible.
Your dogs have turned savage.
Just on the day after.
They revert back to their usual self.
- Do they? How's it going? - Fine.
- Did you have a good time last night? - Yeah, I did.
- Met some nice people, huh? - It was weird, though.
- What was weird? - Um Well, all the people having sex.
Well, that's what it's about, isn't it, part of it? - Yeah.
- This is a swing club, right? So I hear.
You don't think that's weird? No, not if everybody knows what the place is.
Unusual, though.
Yeah, for people who haven't done it, yeah.
Until you get used to it, it's all new.
You know.
It takes a while to get used to it.
Did I seem like I was having a good time? 0h, yeah, yeah.
You did very good.
You did very good for a first time.
Thank you very much.
Did you like Laura? - She was very nice.
- Yeah.
Yeah, she was a nice personality.
- Yeah.
- Very nice.
- Gary seemed to like her.
- Yeah, yeah.
You can talk to Gary more about that.
- Yeah.
- So 0K, I'm gonna go in the other room right now.
Whoa! This is pretty hot.
It must be like 100 degrees.
It's probably about 103 or 4 right now.
You know, Gary, I actually did poke my head into the group room.
Uh-huh? - And - Quite a sight, huh? Instead of experiencing any sort of arousal, actually it made me fearful.
Well, it would do that if you weren't used to those kind of sights, I would suppose.
But, it's something you gotta get used to, I suppose.
Is this at all weird to you? What? I mean, unusual - just the idea of a few hours ago you had four couples in the group room servicing each other? The thing is, a lot of times at just ordinary parties, or weddings, especially at weddings, people are doing all kind of things that you don't know about.
It's just that here, you take it for granted that things are happening and you know about it.
So in the context of swinging, you were totally faithful to Margaret last night? 0h, yeah, sure.
Yeah.
People don't understand that, er They say "You can't love your wife, you can't love your husband if you allow them to do this.
" That's because they have certain rules that they're living by and it wouldn't be appropriate for them.
But you can't put that on somebody else.
You should just let 'em do what they wanna do and not worry about it.
I kinda think of that part of my life as a mistake, I guess.
- Really? - A learning experience but a mistake.
I got involved in a bad club and made some bad decisions, but that's my personal experience.
I think there's plenty of people that find it to be a very satisfying lifestyle and who enjoy it and it works fine with their relationships.
Would you swing again? Mm-mm.
Why? Um I don't think it's right for me.
I think a one-on-one good relationship is just right for me.
Can you identify the time when it was that you basically made the transition from finding it extremely appealing and fun to thinking it's kinda revolting? I guess maybe finding a really good relationship.
That was probably the only thing that did it.
- You found one? - Mm-hm.
Yeah.
With a guy? No, with a girl.
- Really? - Really.
Yeah.