Lovesick (Scrotal Recall) (2014) s02e02 Episode Script
Agata
You know the gap between our encounters has dropped from three years to a couple of days.
At this rate, we'll be married by lunch.
Yeah, I've got a vicar hiding in the bathroom.
Did you clock my big move there? I did.
I liked it.
You've got a cool flat, you know.
Enjoy it while it lasts.
Lease is up at the end of the month.
- Where are you gonna go? - I don't know.
Somewhere else round here.
Maybe back to Manchester.
Manchester's, like, four hours away.
Well, you see now, this is awkward, 'cause if you ask me to stay it's premature, and if you say nothing, it'll seem like you're secretly pleased I'm leaving.
So there's, like, two possible reactions and both of them are problematic? Yeah.
Pretty glad I'm not you right now.
So, why Manchester? Been here a while and I've got friends there and a few reasons to go.
Any reasons to stay? Well played.
You're turning it around on to me.
- No, I wasn't.
I'm just, you know - Luckily for you, I'm late for work.
I'm going that way.
I'm over there.
- Hey, Dylan.
- Yeah? Do you want me to stay? I think I do.
- Hey! - Hi, it's been a while! Um, now I know, um, a lot of what I'm about to say won't make much sense, but, um, uh, I have to say it, so I'm just gonna dive in, okay? Dylan! Hola, amigo! Yeah, I know.
Sorry.
- Hi, I'm Dylan.
- Hi.
Evie.
Welcome to mine and Evie's abode.
At least ask him who he's come as.
Oh, sorry.
Uh, Dylan, who've you come as? I'm Spartacus.
No, I'm Spartacus! Ha! That's not gonna get old, is it? We'll only do it once, for every single person at this party, and they will all massively love it.
- This is my girlfriend, Agata.
- Hi, Agata.
- Hey.
- Agata, mi casa su casa.
Yeah, she doesn't speak, uh, Spanish.
She's Danish.
- Oh, do you speak Danish? - Nope.
- Oh, right.
- Right.
Does she speak English? - No.
- Mmm.
I'm guessing you guys aren't big on the old pillow talk then? Well, you'd be surprised how much, uh, two people can say without using words.
Dyl's like me.
Dyl's a one-woman guy.
- Evie here doesn't believe in love.
- Really? Luke told me about, uh, Robbie? Yeah, Robbie's just a friend.
Anyway, drinks? - Agata? - Oh, yeah.
Great, the girl speaks my language.
Let's go.
Get it on! - Ow, that really hurt.
- Sorry.
Eh! All right, are you the letter "A" then? - I think his "A" is for Angus.
- Come on! - I'm the Fonz.
- I'm Dylan.
Hi, Angus.
God, people are really struggling with my outfit.
It's the hair.
It's too curly.
- Mmm.
- Okay, well, should I be James Dean? - James Dean had curly hair? - No.
- Angus, this is Agata.
- Hey, there.
I'm James Dean.
- Hello.
- Ooh, bit of an accent there.
Polska? Sverige? Deutsche? Yes! I'm from Leipzig.
A jewel of the East! Your German is very proficient.
As a teenager I spent many happy summers hill-walking in Bavaria with my mother's family.
You speak Danish? Why do they think you're Danish? Do they? - What are you saying? - This is sort of rude, Angus.
What you're doing is showing off in front of Dylan's girlfriend.
- Yeah, well, actually - No, no, no, I'm sorry.
Poor old Dylan here is very much in love with this fine young filly and he's been working very hard to master the basic Danish.
I can count from one to five.
That's good, mate.
What is he saying? - But - Seriously.
It's like Dylan's girlfriend announces she's a scuba instructor and you whip out an Aqua-Lung.
I have to say, that is exactly what it feels like.
All right.
I've just got one point to make to you all.
Agata is about as Danish as this can of lager.
Mmm.
Well, no, 'cause, um, that's a Belgian lager, so That's the point I'm making.
Yeah, but you're not holding a lager brewed in Denmark, Angus.
All right, grab some drinks, guys.
Uh, I'm gonna go make a quick phone call.
Hi, it's Jo.
Leave a message.
Hey, honeycakes, um, just to let you know, without you this party is like a martini without an olive.
And you know how daddy likes his martinis, served with a a fat, juicy green olive.
And erase that.
Baby doll, hey, if you're stuck in traffic, uh, could you drop me a text-ical, let me know, 'cause it's obviously it's getting late and, uh, papa needs some Jo-Jo, yo, yo.
That's not a criticism, by the way.
I I just took a step back from my words and realized it sounded like I was criticizing you for not texting me, but obviously, we all know it's illegal to use your phone whilst you're driving, and and I do not want to put you in any danger, Jo.
Love you.
Bye-bye.
Nailed it.
Catch you later.
Oh, hey, man, I hope you don't mind me using your computer.
No.
- I've typed this into Translate.
- Yeah, is that a phrase in Danish? She might think you're trying to make conversation about a car.
Yeah, I want her to know that I feel this sort of, like, bigger connection with her.
Like, like like two pieces of LEGO that have just clicked together.
- Nice.
LEGO's so Danish.
- And I don't want to freak her out, but I just feel like we have this whole, sort of, big future together and I need to know if she feels the same vibes.
That's the one, man.
Type that.
- The the whole thing? - Do it.
Hey.
I like your hair, but aren't you gonna put a costume on? Ah.
Funny, it's a wig.
What have you come as? We're the Romantics.
Oh, uh, yeah, sorry, obviously.
Look, I really enjoyed the other night.
Can we do that again? Uh, yeah.
Um, have your people talk to my people.
I do actually have people now.
Oh, uh, good, yeah, well, someone to keep my people company at long last.
I got a gallery.
They're gonna exhibit me in New York next year.
Oh, my God! You're gonna be, like, a thing.
You should come visit.
We'll have a pad in Williamsburg Yeah, I mean, I'm more of a Brooklyn kind of girl myself.
Williamsburg's in Brooklyn.
Uh yeah, exactly.
Um, you know, Williamsburg, Brooklyn.
That's how we roll, isn't it? "How we roll.
" For fuck's sake.
- Okay - Okay So I just need to memorize that.
Yeah, might leave you to it, bud.
I've got a little bit to prepare.
Want to make it a special night for my gal.
- How's it all going with Jo? - Yeah! Yeah, you know, it's been hard.
Studying in different cities, her actually wanting to study, those two things together alone But we've got the big love.
And I want to show her how much that means.
Yeah, I hear you, man.
It's like life is a tent and love is the big pole right in the middle.
And everything else is just canvas and bits of rope.
That's beautiful, man.
Hey, thanks, man.
and the rind of the cheese was not edible after all! Oh, I'm funny in German! Cool.
Yeah, I just need to, uh, say this thing, if you don't mind.
No, go ahead.
Agata Are you all right? You sound like you've having a stroke.
No, it's not me, it's Danish.
It's really hard.
She's German.
- Agata's from Germany? - Deutschland, ja.
- Oh, right! - Oh, that's a relief! - German! - She doesn't speak Danish at all! - She's German.
- German.
- Do you speak German? - No.
Oh, right, so nothing about this situation has fundamentally changed, has it? No.
Agata, Germany.
Dylan, uh, British.
I'll leave you to it.
Sounds like you've got a lot to catch up on.
Oh! Could you tell him it was nice sex but I don't want any kind of relationship including friendship.
I was just trying to find the toilet in the gallery.
I was really desperate, hopping up and down and he hugged me.
It was weird, but he's cute.
And then somehow I am here! You want me to tell him that? I can't do this bad dancing all night.
I need a drink.
What did she say? Uh, it was a very German sentence.
A lot of comparing things to beer and engineering.
Doesn't really translate.
- But you understood what she said? - Yeah, no, but only because I've spent a lot of time in die Mittelgebirge.
- This is very frustrating.
- I can only imagine.
Hi, Jo.
How are things? I've arrived.
Hi, Angus.
Who are you? - James Dean.
- Oh.
You look more like the Terminator.
Yeah, I can go with that.
Luke's called me literally 20 times.
So, I just want it on the record that I've arrived! I'm here! I see he got you to dress Roman.
I'm Spartacus.
No! I'm Spartacus! Woof.
Perfect timing, come on in here.
- Hey, guys.
- Take a seat, mate.
You mentioned you might look over my portfolio.
Now could be a good time Listen up! I've got something pretty darn exciting to tell you.
Okay Now, our first holiday together took us here.
Hence my costume.
- I'm Spartacus! - Not now, Dylan.
Luke, what are you doing? You all ready for this? I hope you're getting the whole history theme now.
So this little, uh, Alpine weekend, in that heady, unforgettable summer, was where our love truly deepened to where it is today, which is basically, guys, an extraordinarily deep place.
I'm talking like the Marianas Trench of loves.
- Aw.
- That's nearly seven vertical miles and yet, there are still giant sponges and bacteria down there, folks, because life, like love - always finds a way.
- Aw.
- So, tonight, Jo-Jo - Luke, uh Uh, Jo-Jo-reno, tonight, I just want to Sorry, no, I just I feel really unwell.
Okay, okay, okay.
Hey, let's get you some fresh air.
Um That's okay.
Coming through, guys.
This is an emergency.
Coming through.
Make way! For fuck's sake.
You didn't tell him? Might have got lost in translation.
- She doesn't like the way I hold hands? - She doesn't wanna go out.
No.
Are you sure you understood that right? We've discussed the history of the Leipzig potato festival.
We understand each other Can you just tell her, like, I really think if we could find a way to speak, that we'd have something special.
What's that? He's proving hard to convince.
Sorry.
She didn't tell me she was gonna do that.
This is gonna concentrate all that blood right up in your core.
I'm not unwell.
I faked it.
- Faked it? - Okay, Luke, I need to talk to you.
I've been working really hard recently, it's because medicine is my future and it's demanding.
And then the other week Jenny asked me, what does Luke want to do with his life? - And, well, I - Travel with you, you know.
Kids at 30, get into swinging at 50.
Die in your old-lady arms.
I thought everyone knew that about me.
- What's this about, Jo-Jo? - All of those things involve me.
The having kids.
The - swinging, much appreciated.
- Welcome.
I feel every time I take up a hobby Hey, hey, hey! Let's be absolutely clear.
I'd wanted to take up Irish dancing for a long time.
You were the spark that lit that fire.
Some weeks I feel like the only thing that's truly mine is my period! Hey, you know I'd go halfsies with you on that bad boy if I could.
I want to try new things.
So we'll we'll try chess.
You know, we'll hand roll some sushi.
I just I need I'm sorry.
Sorry for what? Oh, God.
For what? - What is your costume? - The Terminator.
Apparently, they've got a lot in common.
Eh! - How's it going with your guy? - I haven't got a guy.
It's going badly.
Do you think Luke's okay? No, no, no.
This isn't how it's supposed to go.
- I'm gonna go now.
- No, listen, I can change, okay? Just tell me how to change and I'll do it.
But that's exactly my point.
I just want to get things right, Jo-Jo! - I want to try new things.
- That's great! That's okay, so you can try new things and I'll sit and watch you.
Please, please, please, please don't leave me.
Luke, it's me and Dylan.
We just saw Jo leaving.
Is everything Yeah, man, me and Agata have also hit a bit of a rocky patch, so Nice, Dylan.
Like Luke's three-year relationship is exactly the same as your I mean, how long was it? It's heartbreak.
Yeah.
- Do you want to talk - No talking.
- You're obviously unhappy.
- I'm happy.
I'm very happy to be putting this on and taking it for a ride.
Why don't we just put the suit aside and we'll talk? Or we could drink really heavily? Guys! We're having a party okay? I'm gonna get back in the game.
That's what I want to do.
But first, I need to remove my lederhosen.
And I should warn you that there is no other costume beneath it.
Would you like to come to my youth hostel? I fly home tomorrow.
I think Dylan really did like you.
Goodbye, Angus.
So we were in the gallery, and she's looking at this painting, and we're, like, obviously feeling the same thing.
But you couldn't talk to each other.
Yeah, but what do words really mean, anyway? Oh, that's just stupid now.
Sorry, sorry, that's a bit harsh.
It's not like I'm some kind of relationships guru.
That, right there is my big romance.
Hands up someone else's skirt.
Did he ask you if you were okay about that? Or did he just start possibly having sex with that girl on that chair at your house party? He's a dick.
Is there, uh is there room on that broom for two? I'm not sure witches give lifts to guys in suits.
So are you a good witch or a bad witch? I don't know.
Three out of five? You tell me.
Like like a rating thing.
Yes, I see what you did there.
Just I'll be back in a sec, just, uh Okay I was just, uh just checking the bar.
We're actually all out of newts and bats.
Would you settle for a vodka? - Uh, fine for now.
Hmm.
- Hmm.
You know, I could have sworn I saw you about to propose to some girl earlier in very short lederhosen.
Yeah, that was actually that was that was my mate Steve dressed as my German twin.
Spooky resemblance.
If anyone's spooky around here, it's you, my spooky, spooky little witch.
Here, wait a second.
Hmm.
That's better.
Hail Satan! How's that broomstick looking now? Now I'd now I'd let you hop on.
Do you think they're really doing it? Maybe the problem isn't us.
It's just bad luck and bad people.
You have to stay open to real, true love if you find it, 'cause otherwise your soul could just like wither and What was that? Just shut up.
What are you doing? Sorry, no, yeah.
It's just You just smell different, that's all.
- Different to what? - No one.
- Well, okay, someone.
- Right.
Maybe just keep these thoughts in your head.
Okay, that makes sense actually, when you say it.
You smell very nice.
Just not like her, that's all.
It's new.
What did I just say? Gotcha, yeah, I remember.
Yeah, that's right.
Hmm.
- Are you still sniffing me? - No! Look, I am really tired, so can you please just behave like I don't need to worry about you? Yeah.
Yeah, of course.
Yeah, sorry.
Enough.
What? Last night was amazing.
Mmm-hmm.
Ten out of ten.
No fouls, no mishaps.
Uh it's a bit early for that.
Really? Last night we were, um Yeah, I know, I was there.
Is this going weird? Maybe a bit.
You're just you're just taking a perfectly nice one-night stand and making it mean something.
I'm hopeful, that's all, you know.
If, uh if something like last night happens, then I wake up hopeful that it'll turn into something good, you know.
Doesn't everyone want that? I wake up hungry and a bit hungover and needing a shower.
Look, you're nice, Dylan, and it was great, but I'm I'm not the girl for, um, bluebirds bursting into song.
So, why don't we just have a cup of tea and maybe not really mention this again? Yeah, yeah, I like I like tea.
Oh, come on! Less than 12 hours ago some German girl that you couldn't talk to was the love of your life.
Okay, last night was great.
It's just the morning is supposed to feel a bit weird.
Okay.
We've got Luke in common, so we need to get on.
So, let's just - Move on.
- Yep.
So, I'm gonna put some clothes on as a first step.
Yep, and I'm just gonna not look at you to really bed in to knowing that this ever happened.
Ah, good, you're getting the hang of it.
I don't know, for me, it's not really about chlamydia, um I can see for anyone I might have given it to, it is mostly about chlamydia.
Um, I guess I was hoping that you'd all give me answers.
Um, you see, I met someone.
And I know you don't speak any English, so, um I just, you know I just needed someone to confess to.
My English is better now.
I lived in London five years.
Oh.
Oh, shit! What I think about your situation, I think it is good.
- You found someone you like? - Yeah.
It could be great, I just, uh I have no faith in my judgment anymore.
Well, good luck.
I've got to go work now.
All right, thanks for the talk.
Say hi to Angus for me.
Morning, roomies.
Divorce papers.
I'm very nearly not married anymore.
You'll move on.
We'll help.
Is it time for that? Already? Yeah.
Yeah, it is time to move on.
It is.
It needs to happen.
Hmm.
- So, Angus - Mmm.
I've just been on the old Internet with Agata, all the way from Germany.
- No? Really? - Who says hello.
Yeah.
At this rate, we'll be married by lunch.
Yeah, I've got a vicar hiding in the bathroom.
Did you clock my big move there? I did.
I liked it.
You've got a cool flat, you know.
Enjoy it while it lasts.
Lease is up at the end of the month.
- Where are you gonna go? - I don't know.
Somewhere else round here.
Maybe back to Manchester.
Manchester's, like, four hours away.
Well, you see now, this is awkward, 'cause if you ask me to stay it's premature, and if you say nothing, it'll seem like you're secretly pleased I'm leaving.
So there's, like, two possible reactions and both of them are problematic? Yeah.
Pretty glad I'm not you right now.
So, why Manchester? Been here a while and I've got friends there and a few reasons to go.
Any reasons to stay? Well played.
You're turning it around on to me.
- No, I wasn't.
I'm just, you know - Luckily for you, I'm late for work.
I'm going that way.
I'm over there.
- Hey, Dylan.
- Yeah? Do you want me to stay? I think I do.
- Hey! - Hi, it's been a while! Um, now I know, um, a lot of what I'm about to say won't make much sense, but, um, uh, I have to say it, so I'm just gonna dive in, okay? Dylan! Hola, amigo! Yeah, I know.
Sorry.
- Hi, I'm Dylan.
- Hi.
Evie.
Welcome to mine and Evie's abode.
At least ask him who he's come as.
Oh, sorry.
Uh, Dylan, who've you come as? I'm Spartacus.
No, I'm Spartacus! Ha! That's not gonna get old, is it? We'll only do it once, for every single person at this party, and they will all massively love it.
- This is my girlfriend, Agata.
- Hi, Agata.
- Hey.
- Agata, mi casa su casa.
Yeah, she doesn't speak, uh, Spanish.
She's Danish.
- Oh, do you speak Danish? - Nope.
- Oh, right.
- Right.
Does she speak English? - No.
- Mmm.
I'm guessing you guys aren't big on the old pillow talk then? Well, you'd be surprised how much, uh, two people can say without using words.
Dyl's like me.
Dyl's a one-woman guy.
- Evie here doesn't believe in love.
- Really? Luke told me about, uh, Robbie? Yeah, Robbie's just a friend.
Anyway, drinks? - Agata? - Oh, yeah.
Great, the girl speaks my language.
Let's go.
Get it on! - Ow, that really hurt.
- Sorry.
Eh! All right, are you the letter "A" then? - I think his "A" is for Angus.
- Come on! - I'm the Fonz.
- I'm Dylan.
Hi, Angus.
God, people are really struggling with my outfit.
It's the hair.
It's too curly.
- Mmm.
- Okay, well, should I be James Dean? - James Dean had curly hair? - No.
- Angus, this is Agata.
- Hey, there.
I'm James Dean.
- Hello.
- Ooh, bit of an accent there.
Polska? Sverige? Deutsche? Yes! I'm from Leipzig.
A jewel of the East! Your German is very proficient.
As a teenager I spent many happy summers hill-walking in Bavaria with my mother's family.
You speak Danish? Why do they think you're Danish? Do they? - What are you saying? - This is sort of rude, Angus.
What you're doing is showing off in front of Dylan's girlfriend.
- Yeah, well, actually - No, no, no, I'm sorry.
Poor old Dylan here is very much in love with this fine young filly and he's been working very hard to master the basic Danish.
I can count from one to five.
That's good, mate.
What is he saying? - But - Seriously.
It's like Dylan's girlfriend announces she's a scuba instructor and you whip out an Aqua-Lung.
I have to say, that is exactly what it feels like.
All right.
I've just got one point to make to you all.
Agata is about as Danish as this can of lager.
Mmm.
Well, no, 'cause, um, that's a Belgian lager, so That's the point I'm making.
Yeah, but you're not holding a lager brewed in Denmark, Angus.
All right, grab some drinks, guys.
Uh, I'm gonna go make a quick phone call.
Hi, it's Jo.
Leave a message.
Hey, honeycakes, um, just to let you know, without you this party is like a martini without an olive.
And you know how daddy likes his martinis, served with a a fat, juicy green olive.
And erase that.
Baby doll, hey, if you're stuck in traffic, uh, could you drop me a text-ical, let me know, 'cause it's obviously it's getting late and, uh, papa needs some Jo-Jo, yo, yo.
That's not a criticism, by the way.
I I just took a step back from my words and realized it sounded like I was criticizing you for not texting me, but obviously, we all know it's illegal to use your phone whilst you're driving, and and I do not want to put you in any danger, Jo.
Love you.
Bye-bye.
Nailed it.
Catch you later.
Oh, hey, man, I hope you don't mind me using your computer.
No.
- I've typed this into Translate.
- Yeah, is that a phrase in Danish? She might think you're trying to make conversation about a car.
Yeah, I want her to know that I feel this sort of, like, bigger connection with her.
Like, like like two pieces of LEGO that have just clicked together.
- Nice.
LEGO's so Danish.
- And I don't want to freak her out, but I just feel like we have this whole, sort of, big future together and I need to know if she feels the same vibes.
That's the one, man.
Type that.
- The the whole thing? - Do it.
Hey.
I like your hair, but aren't you gonna put a costume on? Ah.
Funny, it's a wig.
What have you come as? We're the Romantics.
Oh, uh, yeah, sorry, obviously.
Look, I really enjoyed the other night.
Can we do that again? Uh, yeah.
Um, have your people talk to my people.
I do actually have people now.
Oh, uh, good, yeah, well, someone to keep my people company at long last.
I got a gallery.
They're gonna exhibit me in New York next year.
Oh, my God! You're gonna be, like, a thing.
You should come visit.
We'll have a pad in Williamsburg Yeah, I mean, I'm more of a Brooklyn kind of girl myself.
Williamsburg's in Brooklyn.
Uh yeah, exactly.
Um, you know, Williamsburg, Brooklyn.
That's how we roll, isn't it? "How we roll.
" For fuck's sake.
- Okay - Okay So I just need to memorize that.
Yeah, might leave you to it, bud.
I've got a little bit to prepare.
Want to make it a special night for my gal.
- How's it all going with Jo? - Yeah! Yeah, you know, it's been hard.
Studying in different cities, her actually wanting to study, those two things together alone But we've got the big love.
And I want to show her how much that means.
Yeah, I hear you, man.
It's like life is a tent and love is the big pole right in the middle.
And everything else is just canvas and bits of rope.
That's beautiful, man.
Hey, thanks, man.
and the rind of the cheese was not edible after all! Oh, I'm funny in German! Cool.
Yeah, I just need to, uh, say this thing, if you don't mind.
No, go ahead.
Agata Are you all right? You sound like you've having a stroke.
No, it's not me, it's Danish.
It's really hard.
She's German.
- Agata's from Germany? - Deutschland, ja.
- Oh, right! - Oh, that's a relief! - German! - She doesn't speak Danish at all! - She's German.
- German.
- Do you speak German? - No.
Oh, right, so nothing about this situation has fundamentally changed, has it? No.
Agata, Germany.
Dylan, uh, British.
I'll leave you to it.
Sounds like you've got a lot to catch up on.
Oh! Could you tell him it was nice sex but I don't want any kind of relationship including friendship.
I was just trying to find the toilet in the gallery.
I was really desperate, hopping up and down and he hugged me.
It was weird, but he's cute.
And then somehow I am here! You want me to tell him that? I can't do this bad dancing all night.
I need a drink.
What did she say? Uh, it was a very German sentence.
A lot of comparing things to beer and engineering.
Doesn't really translate.
- But you understood what she said? - Yeah, no, but only because I've spent a lot of time in die Mittelgebirge.
- This is very frustrating.
- I can only imagine.
Hi, Jo.
How are things? I've arrived.
Hi, Angus.
Who are you? - James Dean.
- Oh.
You look more like the Terminator.
Yeah, I can go with that.
Luke's called me literally 20 times.
So, I just want it on the record that I've arrived! I'm here! I see he got you to dress Roman.
I'm Spartacus.
No! I'm Spartacus! Woof.
Perfect timing, come on in here.
- Hey, guys.
- Take a seat, mate.
You mentioned you might look over my portfolio.
Now could be a good time Listen up! I've got something pretty darn exciting to tell you.
Okay Now, our first holiday together took us here.
Hence my costume.
- I'm Spartacus! - Not now, Dylan.
Luke, what are you doing? You all ready for this? I hope you're getting the whole history theme now.
So this little, uh, Alpine weekend, in that heady, unforgettable summer, was where our love truly deepened to where it is today, which is basically, guys, an extraordinarily deep place.
I'm talking like the Marianas Trench of loves.
- Aw.
- That's nearly seven vertical miles and yet, there are still giant sponges and bacteria down there, folks, because life, like love - always finds a way.
- Aw.
- So, tonight, Jo-Jo - Luke, uh Uh, Jo-Jo-reno, tonight, I just want to Sorry, no, I just I feel really unwell.
Okay, okay, okay.
Hey, let's get you some fresh air.
Um That's okay.
Coming through, guys.
This is an emergency.
Coming through.
Make way! For fuck's sake.
You didn't tell him? Might have got lost in translation.
- She doesn't like the way I hold hands? - She doesn't wanna go out.
No.
Are you sure you understood that right? We've discussed the history of the Leipzig potato festival.
We understand each other Can you just tell her, like, I really think if we could find a way to speak, that we'd have something special.
What's that? He's proving hard to convince.
Sorry.
She didn't tell me she was gonna do that.
This is gonna concentrate all that blood right up in your core.
I'm not unwell.
I faked it.
- Faked it? - Okay, Luke, I need to talk to you.
I've been working really hard recently, it's because medicine is my future and it's demanding.
And then the other week Jenny asked me, what does Luke want to do with his life? - And, well, I - Travel with you, you know.
Kids at 30, get into swinging at 50.
Die in your old-lady arms.
I thought everyone knew that about me.
- What's this about, Jo-Jo? - All of those things involve me.
The having kids.
The - swinging, much appreciated.
- Welcome.
I feel every time I take up a hobby Hey, hey, hey! Let's be absolutely clear.
I'd wanted to take up Irish dancing for a long time.
You were the spark that lit that fire.
Some weeks I feel like the only thing that's truly mine is my period! Hey, you know I'd go halfsies with you on that bad boy if I could.
I want to try new things.
So we'll we'll try chess.
You know, we'll hand roll some sushi.
I just I need I'm sorry.
Sorry for what? Oh, God.
For what? - What is your costume? - The Terminator.
Apparently, they've got a lot in common.
Eh! - How's it going with your guy? - I haven't got a guy.
It's going badly.
Do you think Luke's okay? No, no, no.
This isn't how it's supposed to go.
- I'm gonna go now.
- No, listen, I can change, okay? Just tell me how to change and I'll do it.
But that's exactly my point.
I just want to get things right, Jo-Jo! - I want to try new things.
- That's great! That's okay, so you can try new things and I'll sit and watch you.
Please, please, please, please don't leave me.
Luke, it's me and Dylan.
We just saw Jo leaving.
Is everything Yeah, man, me and Agata have also hit a bit of a rocky patch, so Nice, Dylan.
Like Luke's three-year relationship is exactly the same as your I mean, how long was it? It's heartbreak.
Yeah.
- Do you want to talk - No talking.
- You're obviously unhappy.
- I'm happy.
I'm very happy to be putting this on and taking it for a ride.
Why don't we just put the suit aside and we'll talk? Or we could drink really heavily? Guys! We're having a party okay? I'm gonna get back in the game.
That's what I want to do.
But first, I need to remove my lederhosen.
And I should warn you that there is no other costume beneath it.
Would you like to come to my youth hostel? I fly home tomorrow.
I think Dylan really did like you.
Goodbye, Angus.
So we were in the gallery, and she's looking at this painting, and we're, like, obviously feeling the same thing.
But you couldn't talk to each other.
Yeah, but what do words really mean, anyway? Oh, that's just stupid now.
Sorry, sorry, that's a bit harsh.
It's not like I'm some kind of relationships guru.
That, right there is my big romance.
Hands up someone else's skirt.
Did he ask you if you were okay about that? Or did he just start possibly having sex with that girl on that chair at your house party? He's a dick.
Is there, uh is there room on that broom for two? I'm not sure witches give lifts to guys in suits.
So are you a good witch or a bad witch? I don't know.
Three out of five? You tell me.
Like like a rating thing.
Yes, I see what you did there.
Just I'll be back in a sec, just, uh Okay I was just, uh just checking the bar.
We're actually all out of newts and bats.
Would you settle for a vodka? - Uh, fine for now.
Hmm.
- Hmm.
You know, I could have sworn I saw you about to propose to some girl earlier in very short lederhosen.
Yeah, that was actually that was that was my mate Steve dressed as my German twin.
Spooky resemblance.
If anyone's spooky around here, it's you, my spooky, spooky little witch.
Here, wait a second.
Hmm.
That's better.
Hail Satan! How's that broomstick looking now? Now I'd now I'd let you hop on.
Do you think they're really doing it? Maybe the problem isn't us.
It's just bad luck and bad people.
You have to stay open to real, true love if you find it, 'cause otherwise your soul could just like wither and What was that? Just shut up.
What are you doing? Sorry, no, yeah.
It's just You just smell different, that's all.
- Different to what? - No one.
- Well, okay, someone.
- Right.
Maybe just keep these thoughts in your head.
Okay, that makes sense actually, when you say it.
You smell very nice.
Just not like her, that's all.
It's new.
What did I just say? Gotcha, yeah, I remember.
Yeah, that's right.
Hmm.
- Are you still sniffing me? - No! Look, I am really tired, so can you please just behave like I don't need to worry about you? Yeah.
Yeah, of course.
Yeah, sorry.
Enough.
What? Last night was amazing.
Mmm-hmm.
Ten out of ten.
No fouls, no mishaps.
Uh it's a bit early for that.
Really? Last night we were, um Yeah, I know, I was there.
Is this going weird? Maybe a bit.
You're just you're just taking a perfectly nice one-night stand and making it mean something.
I'm hopeful, that's all, you know.
If, uh if something like last night happens, then I wake up hopeful that it'll turn into something good, you know.
Doesn't everyone want that? I wake up hungry and a bit hungover and needing a shower.
Look, you're nice, Dylan, and it was great, but I'm I'm not the girl for, um, bluebirds bursting into song.
So, why don't we just have a cup of tea and maybe not really mention this again? Yeah, yeah, I like I like tea.
Oh, come on! Less than 12 hours ago some German girl that you couldn't talk to was the love of your life.
Okay, last night was great.
It's just the morning is supposed to feel a bit weird.
Okay.
We've got Luke in common, so we need to get on.
So, let's just - Move on.
- Yep.
So, I'm gonna put some clothes on as a first step.
Yep, and I'm just gonna not look at you to really bed in to knowing that this ever happened.
Ah, good, you're getting the hang of it.
I don't know, for me, it's not really about chlamydia, um I can see for anyone I might have given it to, it is mostly about chlamydia.
Um, I guess I was hoping that you'd all give me answers.
Um, you see, I met someone.
And I know you don't speak any English, so, um I just, you know I just needed someone to confess to.
My English is better now.
I lived in London five years.
Oh.
Oh, shit! What I think about your situation, I think it is good.
- You found someone you like? - Yeah.
It could be great, I just, uh I have no faith in my judgment anymore.
Well, good luck.
I've got to go work now.
All right, thanks for the talk.
Say hi to Angus for me.
Morning, roomies.
Divorce papers.
I'm very nearly not married anymore.
You'll move on.
We'll help.
Is it time for that? Already? Yeah.
Yeah, it is time to move on.
It is.
It needs to happen.
Hmm.
- So, Angus - Mmm.
I've just been on the old Internet with Agata, all the way from Germany.
- No? Really? - Who says hello.
Yeah.