One Tree Hill s02e02 Episode Script

Previously on One Tree Hill: - What are you talking about, Haley? - We got married last night.
Mom, I want to leave Tree Hill.
This is from Lucas.
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have hid it from you.
- You had the words and didn't tell me? - I was going to.
- When? After you read it first? - No.
It's Dan.
He had a heart attack.
Your father is unconscious, Nathan.
And now you're telling me you got married? - Mrs.
Scott, we - Shut up, Haley.
Shut your selfish little mouth! Yes! T.
H.
White said: 'Perhaps we all give the best of our hearts uncritically 'to those who hardly think about us in return.
' The Phoenix effect isn't uncommon in cardiac patients.
They grow remorseful, introspective, sometimes even joyous.
- Really? Is it permanent? - Time will tell.
The important thing is to keep him calm.
Don't upset him.
- Three questions.
You ready? - Is that your first one? Number one: What happened to your hair? I left it in Charleston.
- You and Haley still married? - Yeah, she hasn't thrown me out yet.
Number two: Why'd you come back? It was the right thing to do.
Which, actually, brings me to my number two: How's your - How's Dan doing? - He's all right, still alive.
Probably freaking out about me and Haley, like my mom.
All right, last question: You regret all that "you're my brother" stuff now that you're back? - Absolutely.
You? - Definitely.
Yeah, so I can totally see your family tripping out.
I mean, I freaked out and I'm not even related to Haley.
Actually, you are now.
- She's got to be pregnant.
- Or in love.
I'm going with pregnant.
Please, he's a Scott boy.
Just look at one and, snap, you're Never mind.
What's new in your musical world right now? I don't know.
The new Keane's pretty good or Modest Mouse, Pilot to Gunner.
Keane, Mighty Mouse.
- It's "Modest.
" Why are you typing those? - I'm putting them on your turn-ons.
I'm adding you to LustFactor.
com.
- Brooke! - Too late.
We can check your scores in a couple of hours.
I told you.
I am not about chasing guys, right now.
Doesn't mean I can't chase them for you.
And, missy, if you're not about chasing guys why are there half-a-dozen e-mails to Jake Jaglieski in your sent mail folder? He hasn't answered any of them, and I swear I am changing all of my passwords.
Okay, I don't know.
All right? But ever since he-who-can't-be-named, I just feel like I need to shake things up.
And not guys.
- Okay.
Like, life and important stuff.
- Guys are important.
And speaking of the nameless one, he's waiting.
So we should get going.
- What do you think he wants? - lf he's smart, forgiveness.
What do you think? I was thinking, bar, right over there.
Then some lights.
A DJ, right over here.
And then, the three us trying to be friends right about there.
Okay, totally confused over here.
I want to throw a party for Nathan and Haley.
Okay? Everyone's been so weirded out about them getting married.
And nobody's stepping up and just saying, "Hey, it's cool.
Let's celebrate.
" We're their friends.
We should do this for them.
And since nobody plans a party better than you and nobody rocks a party better than you I was hoping the three of us could work it out.
- The party part, or the friends part? - All of it.
I guess you found the letter? I should get something to drink.
I meant what I said.
And now that I'm back, it's a little embarrassing.
- So how about we just - Don't mention it.
Great.
- So what do you say? You in? - Any excuse for a party.
- For Nathan and Haley.
Why not? - Great.
We'll do it together.
Come on, check it out.
The fake cough? - That's the best you could come up with? - I know.
I had nothing.
Have you ever seen the sky so blue? - It's a nice day.
- They're all nice.
Dan.
- We should talk about Keith.
- I don't blame you, Deb.
Lord knows, I've given you enough reasons to stray.
I think I'll get some rest now.
Okay.
How about you bring the divorce papers by? I should sign them.
- You never know what can happen to me.
- Nothing is going to happen to you, Dan.
It already has.
Excellent right back at you, BIL.
Okay, I've been gone for, what, a few days and you already forgot my name.
Who's Bill? B-l-L! Brother-in-law.
That's you.
Crap.
I'm related to you? I know I was sketchy when I left but you just surprised me.
And I just want you to know I'm happy for you, Hales.
I know.
And Nathan told me about you calling and asking about Dan and us.
It's cool.
Thank you.
Hey, get your own wife.
Okay, that just sounds weird.
Crap.
Can you grab that for me real quick? Thanks.
Look.
It's our very own Britney Spears, and whoever she married this week.
I have a question for you guys.
What do you think? - Pink booties or blue? - Booties? Brooke, I'm not pregnant.
No.
The only way this isn't totally screwed up is if you're knocked up.
But don't worry.
Your secret's safe with me.
What's this lame-ass joke about you guys getting married? He's in shock now that you're officially off the market.
It's true, Dim.
Haley's preggers.
- Brooke! - Right.
And Lucas moved away? You guys gotta do better if you're gonna get one over on the Tim.
- Shut up.
- Go.
The Tim.
Hi.
This is for Mr.
Scott.
Dan.
I don't know what to call him.
You can take it to him yourself.
Nathan said that probably wasn't a good idea.
And coming over here was? Mrs.
Scott, I'm not sorry I married Nathan.
But I am sorry about how we ambushed you with it.
I know you're dealing with a lot right now.
Anyway, Lucas is throwing us a party and we'd I'd love it if you could come.
Nathan's father nearly dies and you want to have a party? And even if Dan were fine I would not and will not give you my blessing for destroying my son's life or, and you can trust me on this, your own: Hey, ho! Brooke, step away from the computer.
As soon as I check your Lust Factor score.
This morning you were up to 7.
6.
Out of a 10? Brooke, you did not post my ass on the Internet.
Of course, I did.
And it raised Ms.
P's overall by five-tenths of a point.
And you now have 53 guys waiting to meet you.
I can't believe this.
Too old.
Too hairy.
Too mine.
Too female.
But a 9.
8.
That's interesting.
Here we go.
Here's an emo-looking, sappy, guitar-playing loser.
- He's perfect for you.
- Not interested.
I've got to burn Nathan and Haley's CDs, so get up.
- Move it! - Fine.
So what do you think our new pal, Lucas, wrote in that letter, anyway? Didn't matter when he was gone.
Why should it matter now? You can shave your head, dog, but you still ain't as pretty as me.
- How you doing, Skills? - The question is: How you doing, man? - I'm good.
- All right.
Here it is.
How about you tell me the truth in the next five seconds and I'll forget you just lied to me? I woke up in Charleston and realized: nobody knows me here.
And nobody knows about Dan and my mom and all the things I regret.
It's all been erased.
It's gone.
It felt good knowing that whoever I decided to be from that day forward, was the person that they'd see.
- Then the phone rang.
- Well, hey what could I do to make it easier for you, my bald-head brother? Actually, see if you can get the guys to help me out a little later.
- Okay.
Time and place.
- Beautiful.
Thanks, Skills.
No doubt.
Hey, yo, Luke.
You gotta let it flow, baby.
- You know, like me.
- Yeah, I know.
As you can see, I'm trying.
All right.
No doubt.
Hey, Nathan.
It's good to see you.
Haley told me what you said to her.
- Nate - We're married now, Mom.
And you and Dad can flip out all you want, but it's done.
Nobody cares what you think.
I only want what's best for you, Nathan.
Then how about you and Dad back off and shut up about Haley and me? Your father doesn't even know.
- You haven't told him? - No.
If you're such an adult, why don't you tell him? The news will probably kill him.
Believe me, the guilt from that will stay with you a lot longer than Haley ever will.
Thanks for the love, Mom.
All these empty bedrooms.
We could open a crack house, an upscale one.
Yeah, like a crack resort.
She came back for Mr.
Waffles.
- Did Nathan do something? - No.
- His mother, she said - You were ruining her son's life.
Yeah, basically.
Of course, she did.
In-laws! I like the FBI, honey they have a system, and they follow it.
The first maneuver is, "You're ruining our child's life.
" Yeah, then it goes to, "She can't cook.
" - "Her house is dirty.
" - "We found some hash in the guest room.
" There's only one way to deal with them, kiddo.
Screw them.
- Don't actually have sex with them.
- Dad.
What your father is saying is if you're gonna come home crying every time you let them get the best of you you might as well move back in now before we give your stuff to charity.
You wanted this, Haley.
Time to grow up.
By the way, the dog threw up on Mr.
Waffles.
- Keith.
- Hey.
I meant to call you but this thing with Dan is Anyway, Luke left his iPod in the truck.
I'm sorry.
You know, that you had to come back.
Yeah.
But I'll be honest.
I'm relieved that Lucas is home.
- Yeah.
- And you, too.
I'm not sure how long I'm gonna stay, but we'll see.
I'll see you.
- That kid looks kind of like Luke.
- It can't be.
Luke moved away.
Hey, thanks for helping out, guys.
So you're throwing a party for the devil? This part of your fresh start? You know what? You're gonna be surprised, Skills.
Haley's turned him into a pretty decent guy.
If you say so, man.
Dog, but this new look of yours, really don't impress me.
If you get an Afro like Fergie, then we can talk.
Peyton.
- That looks great.
- Thanks.
For future reference, driving a convertible filled with inflated rubbers - not smart.
- Helium condoms? If she's pregnant, it's a reminder.
If she's not, it's a reminder.
- It's cute.
Mouth, how's your bod? - Skinny.
- You know Skills and Fergie, right? - Of course, I do.
Hey, guys.
- Do you know Peyton? - Hi.
What's up, skinny girl? Peyton's an 8.
1 on Lust Factor.
Soon to be a 9.
I was thinking we can take the cameras put them on tables, people can take pictures for the wedding wall.
Nice.
Care to know what else I have planned? I know you do.
I have spray string for when Tutor Girl and Boy arrive.
And, Mouth, come here.
Sit.
What is that? This, missy blonde girl is the Brooke Davis version of Spin the Bottle.
Only, now, it's Spin the Body.
Watch.
Okay, you two have to make out.
Last, but not least, we have Five Minutes in the Elevator.
- Isn't it Five Minutes in the Closet? - lf you're in Junior High.
The great part is: you know how everybody has their elevator list? What? Your elevator list.
The list of people you're allowed to have sex with if you're ever stuck in an elevator with them.
- Halle Berry.
- Beyoncé.
- Jack Black.
- Brooke Davis.
Everybody makes a list, and if two people have each other's names five minutes in the elevator.
- Sounds like fun, Brooke.
Nice work.
- Thank you.
Now all we need is a Nathan and a Haley.
No.
Yes.
How are you doing, Dad? I'm sorry about the play-offs, Nathan.
All on me.
It's okay.
It's done.
I know things haven't been great Dad, listen.
Before you say anything, there's something you should know.
Haley and I, we got married.
Are you trying to give me another heart attack, Son? No, it's true.
Sorry we didn't tell you, but there it is.
So that's it for basketball? - Why should it be? - You'll see.
You think you can do it all.
But one day you'll look up and realize all you have to live with are your mistakes.
It's not a mistake, Dad.
We're both happy.
It's a good thing.
I was talking about my mistakes, too, Nathan.
Sooner or later, we all choose a path.
Sometimes you never look back and sometimes life forces you to.
Okay.
I'm just gonna let you get some rest.
All right, Dad? Nathan.
Would you ask Lucas to drop by? I'd really like to see your brother.
Hey, this is great, man.
Shouldn't you be home getting ready? Yeah, but I needed to talk to you first.
- Yeah? - I just went down to the hospital and he said he wants to see you.
Luke when I was younger, I thought I had the best of things growing up with a father in my life.
But if you want my advice, just stay away.
Okay? The best thing I ever did was get emancipated.
It feels good to be free.
- Lucas.
Hey, Nathan.
- Hey.
I guess congratulations are in order.
Anyway, I was just heading out.
So see you tonight.
Yeah, man.
It's a brave new world? - This is interesting.
- Yeah, from the mind of Brooke Davis.
For a $20 donation, you get a fake ID and Nathan and Haley get the cash.
Go on.
- Make me younger.
- Ready? One, two, three.
Smile.
So I found a course catalog in the recycling bin.
Were you thinking about college? A couple of classes.
But now, not so much.
- Why not? 'Cause I'm back? - No.
It's just It can wait.
For what? So, Nathan told me Dan wants to see me.
Way to bury the lead.
Why didn't you tell me? - I just did.
- You gonna go? I don't know.
What do you think? I think it's a tough call where Dan is concerned.
Let me tell you a little dirty secret about being a parent.
I don't have a road map any more than you do.
This time, the only advice that I can give you is whatever you decide with Dan, be careful.
There you go, Mom.
You're a kid again.
On second thought, no, thanks.
- Hey, old man, there you are.
- Keith.
- I brought you a decent cup of coffee.
- Thanks.
Yeah.
Of course, it's cold because I stopped by the hospital first.
The nurse told me you checked out.
That's a pretty big risk to be taking with your eyesight.
Who are you to be lecturing me about risk? Here it comes.
The old Whitey dodge.
Hey, we're talking about you.
You said you went to the hospital.
How much can I bet that you didn't bother to go see your brother while you were there? - That is not the point.
- That's exactly the point.
Keith, we both know that Dan is a world-class jerk.
But he's still your brother.
When you get to be my age, and you're facing something like this damn surgery then the most important thing in your life becomes your life.
And the person you were when you lived it.
I'm pretty sure Dan doesn't want to see me.
So what? You be the better man, Keith.
- All right, what happened this time? - I kind of slept with Deb.
Forget everything I said.
Brooke, what are you wearing tonight? It's more of a party than a wedding reception, right? Brooke! Nice.
We are going to get you a 10, yet.
Is Peyton around? She was to loan me something to wear.
Yeah, she'll be out in a second.
Oh, my God! Where did you get that picture of her? You gotta love modern technology.
It's for a project that I'm doing to help expand her horizons.
By posting nude pictures of her on the Internet? Don't worry, she's gonna thank me when she sees the guys that are lining up.
He's cute.
Really cute.
- That's what I'm talking about.
- Down, girl.
You can look at the menu all you want, but from now on you eat at home.
- Great party, dog.
- Thanks, Fergie.
Enjoy.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Kind of ironic.
It says, "Naley Forever" but it's a temporary tattoo.
It's symbolic.
They're here.
- Mouth, did you get the extra spray string? - Sort of.
Oh, my gosh! Haley! Nathan! They were out of spray string, so I got cheese instead.
- Lucas.
- Hey, Mrs.
Scott.
- Hi.
- It's nice to see you.
- I brought a gift.
- Great.
Just set it on the table.
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
- Are you with Nathan or Haley? - Peyton.
What? - Shot in the dark: Lust Factor? - Definitely.
Okay.
My friend put me on there as a joke.
I'm not looking.
- I'm up to a 9.
6.
- I'm not on the market.
I'm on your page, so IM me some time.
Are you crazy? What were you thinking, letting him go? - He's got to be like a nine point - Six.
And remind me to kill you later.
How many more are coming? - I think I need a drink.
- Brooke! Do not fake cough me.
- Deb, you came.
- Yeah.
I'm not sure why.
This is pretty wild.
It's fun.
You wanna dance? No, I think I'll leave the dancing to the kids.
- Let's sit.
- Yeah, okay.
You hungry? How can you be so at ease with all of this? I know this is hard for you, Deb.
Don't tell me you honestly think this can work? - Haley's been like a daughter to me.
- And Nathan used to be a son to me.
On top of that, you can't possibly know what they're up against, Karen.
You didn't get married when you were their age.
- Mom? - Mrs.
Scott, you came.
- Yeah.
I thought I should.
- I'm really glad you did.
You want to come meet my parents? This is Dan.
I really should take it.
Hi.
I was wondering if you were ever gonna come visit me.
I was just waiting for the right time.
And suddenly I realized there wasn't going to be a right time, so here I am.
I'm sorry, Dan, about what happened with me and Deb.
I wish I can take it all back.
I haven't been much of a brother to you, Keith.
Or a husband to Deb.
Or a father.
I guess I've just had other things on my mind.
Success, business.
You just worry about getting well, okay? And I'll help out at the dealership until you get back on your feet.
I know you're going to have a very strong opinion about this but Actually, that would take a load off my mind.
- You're okay with that? - Things change.
People change.
Okay, then.
Get well, Danny.
- There you guys are.
- Hey.
Hey.
Now I've lost Nathan's mom somewhere.
- She actually came? - I guess she's trying to make an effort.
Then, we will, too.
But first, we have something to tell you.
Yeah.
It's kind of a wedding present for us.
- Okay.
What is it? - We got ourselves an RV.
Yeah.
We always said when the last bird flew, we'd sell the coop buy an RV, and hit the road.
Who knew someday was gonna be today? - You guys are leaving town? - Oh, baby.
The beauty of a motor home is that we can launch a sneak attack anytime, anywhere.
This is how we set each other free.
- Peyton, right? - How'd you know? Lucky guess.
- Coach.
How are you? - I'm old.
But I wasn't always that way.
There was a time that I was young and in love like the two of you.
Here.
Camilla stitched that during the first year of our marriage.
It's a baby blanket.
Of course, we spent all those years just the two of us in the nest, but I think she'd like that to go to somebody she would have been really fond of.
Coach, that's so sweet of you.
Thank you, but I'm not pregnant.
You never know.
He is a Scott after all.
- Would you excuse me for just a minute? - Yeah.
Thanks, Coach.
Okay, foot on orange.
- What do I have to do, pee on a stick? - lf that's your kicks.
- Do I know what we're talking about? - Brooke, I am not pregnant.
Look.
It's a birth control patch.
I've had it for weeks.
- So it really is just about love.
- Yeah.
What other reason do we need? - You did a good thing here, Luke, man.
- Thanks, Skills.
So I was thinking about Charleston, right.
And about how you could have been this new person.
Yeah.
But, see, I remember the person that you used to be.
Why not just be him again? Trust me.
I mean, you're so lucky, dog.
You're surrounded by so many people who you love.
But, see, now you gotta make yourself one of those people.
- All right? - Yeah.
You're my dog.
I'll be back.
Where've you been hiding? I had some things to take care of.
Luke, I know how much Charleston meant to you but it looks like I'm gonna be taking over the dealership until Dan gets better.
So we'll be living here for a while.
You okay with that? Yeah.
It's probably better to get a fresh start with the people - who actually matter in your life, right? - Yeah.
Speaking of Excuse me.
- You ladies throw a pretty rocking party.
- Yeah, it doesn't suck.
- What are you smiling about? - You didn't read it, did you? The letter.
Of course, we did.
So you were okay with the PS about the three of us? - Yeah, sure.
- Absolutely.
Really.
So the threesome with the hot fudge, that didn't bother you? - I knew we should've read the letter.
- We thought you'd left town.
So we sort of burned it.
Burned it.
Wow.
You know what? I'm glad you didn't read it.
All that stuff I said.
It's not important now.
And all that matters now is that the three of us are gonna be okay.
- Hey.
- Keith.
Well, I'm back.
I've decided to run the dealership for Dan.
At least, for a little awhile.
You've given up a lot for Dan.
He doesn't deserve a brother like you.
Actually, he deserves better.
Mom.
Have you met Haley's parents? Hi.
I'm Lydia James.
This is my husband, Jim.
- Hi.
Nice to meet you.
- Hi.
Sorry to hear about your husband.
How's he doing? He's struggling with a new reality.
I suppose we both are.
I look forward to the day when we can all break bread and argue about religion and politics and how best to raise our grandchildren.
Yeah, no hurry on that last one, by the way.
- You raised a fine man.
- He's not a man.
- Sorry? - I said, "He's not a man.
" He's a boy.
None of this would have happened if you people had enough common sense to stop it.
- Mom! - No! I am not going to stand here and make nice and pretend like this is all okay, when it isn't.
Then don't.
It's one thing for you to raise your voice at me but don't come in here and dump on my parents.
We made our decision.
We got married, and we're happy.
If you're not here to celebrate, you should go home because I don't want you here.
Nicely played.
I am so sorry.
As if things aren't bad enough with your family.
You couldn't make it any worse.
You know what's weird? Even with my parents leaving town I have never felt safer in my life.
You know what's weirder? Seeing you take my mom's head off back there, actually kind of turned me on.
- Five minutes in the elevator? - How about right here? I forgot how beautiful Nathan's smile was until tonight.
What hurts most is - it went away when he saw me.
- What happened? I bitched out Haley's parents and made things worse.
- Nice work.
- That's not funny, Dan.
He has a new family now.
Don't worry.
I promise, together, we'll get our son back.
I guess, it's no surprise that some would criticize us and call us unfit parents.
And, normally, they would be right.
And for those who say they're too young, let me just say: Hell.
You can drive at 16 go to war at 18.
You can drink at 21 and retire at 65.
So how old do you have to be before your love is real? So here's to you, Haley-Bop.
And Nathan, she's your headache now.
Cheers.
I think everybody knows that Nathan and I got off to a pretty sketchy start.
Nathan, mutual hatred sound about right? - Worse.
- Yeah.
You see, then a funny thing happened.
Haley.
She showed me that you can find the good in everybody, if you just give them a chance the benefit of the doubt.
Sometimes people disappoint you.
Sometimes they surprise you.
But you never really get to know them until you listen for what's in their hearts.
And that's what Haley did with Nathan.
And that's what we should do for them.
So for you skeptics out there, prepare to be surprised.
So this is to my brother and my little sis-in-law and in-love.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
I'm glad you came, Son.
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