Phineas and Ferb s02e02 Episode Script
Interview With a Platypus (15 min)
What to do, what to do, what to do today.
Any ideas, Ferb? How about you, Perry? Bursting with any plans? Ah.
I'll never get tired of you doing that.
Awesome.
Come on, Ferb.
Fire one off.
I wonder what that means.
Hey, Ferb! I know what we're gonna do today! Let's build a Perry translator.
We can finally figure out whatâ means.
Some say he's just a mindless platypus, but he might actually be thinking some profound thoughts.
Just like another quiet animal I know.
Stacy, it's been four days.
I'm not expecting Prince Charming to bring me a glass slipper or anything, but-but a phone call would be nice.
Hold on, I've got another call.
It's him! Call you back! Bye! Hello? Hey, Candace.
It's Jeremy.
Well, good morrow to you, sir.
Huh? I mean, what's up? I just got the new Destruction Mayhem 3 game.
I thought maybe you'd like to come over and try it out.
Oh, yeah.
You, me, and little Suzy playing a video game, huh? Suzy? No.
She's at her friend's house.
Oh.
Hold on, Candace.
Someone's at the door.
So, video games? All set over here! Okay.
Now all we need is our subject.
Where's Perry? Ah, there you are, Agent P.
Sorry about the lights.
We're using an alternative energy source, and haven't quite got it working smoothly yet.
I decided it was high time our operation went green.
All right, assignment, assignment.
Oh, let's see We're saving paper by printing on the same one over and over again, so Uh, sorry for the life on me.
I can't make this out.
Hmm.
Well, I'm sure it says something about Doofenshmirtz.
Go get him! For crying out loud, Carl.
Pedal faster.
I gotta check my e-mail.
Perry! Oh, there you are.
Come on, boy.
Here, just take a seat.
Stay.
All set.
Okay, Perry.
It's time to hear what's on your mind.
Hit me with yourâ shot.
Hey, Phineas! What'cha doin'? Oh.
Ferb and I invented a Perry translator so we can finally figure out what he's saying.
That's great.
But don't you need Perry to be here for it to work? That was weird.
Perry was here a second ago.
I sure love worms.
Don't look at me.
Big, fat, juicy worms! Gotta find 'em, gotta eat 'em! Whoa.
Hello, birdie.
Do you understand me? Aren't you a little young for inter-speciel communication? Yes.
Yes, I am.
How about you, squirrel? Do you understand me? Oh, I do.
Do you have any nuts for me? That's so cute.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm cute.
I'm cute.
Now, nut me.
Wow.
This works on all animals.
Hey, do you think it would work on my dog, Pinky? He barks at the door when a doorbell rings on TV.
I'd love to explain the whole concept to him.
Couldn't hurt to try.
Great! I'll be right back.
Wow! With a device like this, all animals can finally say what's on their minds.
I'm really glad you wanted to come over, Candace.
Most girls really aren't into stuff like this.
Pssh.
Most girls.
I guess I'm just cool like that.
Yup, love me my video games.
Who's this? Yeah, that's Suzy's dog.
Who's the good girl? Who's the good girl? Yeah.
Yeah.
Who's the good girl? Who's the good girl? Obviously, not me.
Doofenshmirtz out in the forest! Perry the Platypus? Don'tâ Don't be shy, it's just me.
Come here.
You like my new cage? I got it from a second-hand shark supply store.
It was half off, because you know, something bit half of it off.
So, here's my evil plan.
With this remote, I will open the Danville dam, flooding all the streets and creating beautiful waterways! Like the canals in Venice, Italy! Or to a lesser extent, Venice, California.
But, how will people get around? They will have to buy my latest invention! It's like a car, but it can drive on the surface of water.
Behold! You like it? I call it the Buoyancy Operated Aquatic Transport, or BO-AT for short.
Everyone will want one.
Yeah, I see what you're saying, but you don't really have an argument.
They're giving you 12 cans a day.
Technically, you're not underfed.
All right, next! Oh, yeah.
I've been getting a lot of complaints about the vacuum.
Just let it out.
Hey, look at this.
I'm getting the hang of it.
No, actually Candace, you just paused it.
And now you've reset the game.
Oh, no.
These were brand new.
Hey, bad dog! That's weird.
Suzy trained her so well.
I see.
Suzy trained her.
I can't believe this.
Hey, that's my shoe! Uh Okay in there, Candace? Yeah, yeah.
Don't even think about it! Where's my shoe? No, no, no! Hey, Candace.
You ready for the third level? Candace? Phineas? What's up? Okay.
We've got 78 complaints about food quantity, and we're still trying to explain TV to Pinky.
Again, forget the idea of little people in there.
So, what exactly are we supposed to do with this information? Hmm.
Okay.
The Jones' hamster says it's gonna lose it if someone doesn't oil the wheel in its cage.
Well, what now? That's what we'll do.
Let's tell all the owners what their pets want! Starting with this little fella right here.
Sorry.
Lady.
Lady right here.
Hey, Candace! What is going on here? We made an animal translator! We'll tell you about it later.
Right now we're on a mission.
Come on, guys.
See ya, Candace! An animal translator? I have had it up to here with stupid animals today! Why would you wanna know what stupid animals are saying? Oh, I can tell you what they'll say.
"I'm an animal and I bite my own heinie!" "I've got a small cranial capacity!" "Look at me! I don't have opposable thumbs!" "I eat with my face!" "I sweat through my tongue!" "I'm a furry-flea bitten loser! Like any other animal on this planet!" planet! planet! Get her! (Song: Perfect Day) It's a perfect day Get away from me! It's in the mid '70s Humidity at sixty percent It's a perfect day Not a cloud in the sky and I Can say without fear and dissent It's a picture postcard perfect kind of A summer afternoon It's a perfect day (Ahh-ahh-ahh) It's a perfect day Yeah It's a perfect day The birds are singing The bees are pollinating the flowers It's a perfect day The fauna is fawning And frolicking away all the hours It's a picture postcard perfect kind of A summer afternoon It's a perfect day (Ahh-ahh-ahh) It's a perfect day It's a perfect day It's a perfect day Oof! Now, Perry the Platypus, with a push of this button, we will move out of the automobile age, and usher in the age of the BO-AT! I'm driving on water! Look at me! I'm BO-AT-ing! Woo-hoo! Living the dream! Perry the Platypus? How didâ I always forget you are a semi-aquatic mammal.
Mom! Mom! Animals hate me! Oh, honey.
That's just ridiculous.
Perry likes you.
Huh.
Never mind.
Ah! No! Don't open the Metropolitan Oval Aquatic Trench! No, no, no, no, no, no! Oh, hey, look! It spells "MOAT".
I never noticed that before.
Curse you, Perry the Platypus! Mom! You're here! Come on, come on! You gotta see this! Candace, will youâ Oh! Aha! I can't believe it.
Everything is still here.
There it is! They built an animal translator! Oh, that's adorable.
Wait.
No, it is not! Hey, Mom.
We built an animal translator.
Look! See? You're gonna see.
It really works! Okay, Perry.
We've been waiting all day for this.
Oh, well.
I guess it doesn't mean anything.
Aw.
You know he's saying, "You guys are the best!" Now, come on everyone.
Inside for some lemonade.
Bu-bu-bu-bu-bu- but-but Hey, Candace.
Jeremy? Hey, where'd you go? Well, Iâ I brought you your shoe.
Oh.
Oh, don't worry.
I washed it.
Here.
Allow me.
Uh, Candace? You okay? Enchanted.
Any ideas, Ferb? How about you, Perry? Bursting with any plans? Ah.
I'll never get tired of you doing that.
Awesome.
Come on, Ferb.
Fire one off.
I wonder what that means.
Hey, Ferb! I know what we're gonna do today! Let's build a Perry translator.
We can finally figure out whatâ means.
Some say he's just a mindless platypus, but he might actually be thinking some profound thoughts.
Just like another quiet animal I know.
Stacy, it's been four days.
I'm not expecting Prince Charming to bring me a glass slipper or anything, but-but a phone call would be nice.
Hold on, I've got another call.
It's him! Call you back! Bye! Hello? Hey, Candace.
It's Jeremy.
Well, good morrow to you, sir.
Huh? I mean, what's up? I just got the new Destruction Mayhem 3 game.
I thought maybe you'd like to come over and try it out.
Oh, yeah.
You, me, and little Suzy playing a video game, huh? Suzy? No.
She's at her friend's house.
Oh.
Hold on, Candace.
Someone's at the door.
So, video games? All set over here! Okay.
Now all we need is our subject.
Where's Perry? Ah, there you are, Agent P.
Sorry about the lights.
We're using an alternative energy source, and haven't quite got it working smoothly yet.
I decided it was high time our operation went green.
All right, assignment, assignment.
Oh, let's see We're saving paper by printing on the same one over and over again, so Uh, sorry for the life on me.
I can't make this out.
Hmm.
Well, I'm sure it says something about Doofenshmirtz.
Go get him! For crying out loud, Carl.
Pedal faster.
I gotta check my e-mail.
Perry! Oh, there you are.
Come on, boy.
Here, just take a seat.
Stay.
All set.
Okay, Perry.
It's time to hear what's on your mind.
Hit me with yourâ shot.
Hey, Phineas! What'cha doin'? Oh.
Ferb and I invented a Perry translator so we can finally figure out what he's saying.
That's great.
But don't you need Perry to be here for it to work? That was weird.
Perry was here a second ago.
I sure love worms.
Don't look at me.
Big, fat, juicy worms! Gotta find 'em, gotta eat 'em! Whoa.
Hello, birdie.
Do you understand me? Aren't you a little young for inter-speciel communication? Yes.
Yes, I am.
How about you, squirrel? Do you understand me? Oh, I do.
Do you have any nuts for me? That's so cute.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm cute.
I'm cute.
Now, nut me.
Wow.
This works on all animals.
Hey, do you think it would work on my dog, Pinky? He barks at the door when a doorbell rings on TV.
I'd love to explain the whole concept to him.
Couldn't hurt to try.
Great! I'll be right back.
Wow! With a device like this, all animals can finally say what's on their minds.
I'm really glad you wanted to come over, Candace.
Most girls really aren't into stuff like this.
Pssh.
Most girls.
I guess I'm just cool like that.
Yup, love me my video games.
Who's this? Yeah, that's Suzy's dog.
Who's the good girl? Who's the good girl? Yeah.
Yeah.
Who's the good girl? Who's the good girl? Obviously, not me.
Doofenshmirtz out in the forest! Perry the Platypus? Don'tâ Don't be shy, it's just me.
Come here.
You like my new cage? I got it from a second-hand shark supply store.
It was half off, because you know, something bit half of it off.
So, here's my evil plan.
With this remote, I will open the Danville dam, flooding all the streets and creating beautiful waterways! Like the canals in Venice, Italy! Or to a lesser extent, Venice, California.
But, how will people get around? They will have to buy my latest invention! It's like a car, but it can drive on the surface of water.
Behold! You like it? I call it the Buoyancy Operated Aquatic Transport, or BO-AT for short.
Everyone will want one.
Yeah, I see what you're saying, but you don't really have an argument.
They're giving you 12 cans a day.
Technically, you're not underfed.
All right, next! Oh, yeah.
I've been getting a lot of complaints about the vacuum.
Just let it out.
Hey, look at this.
I'm getting the hang of it.
No, actually Candace, you just paused it.
And now you've reset the game.
Oh, no.
These were brand new.
Hey, bad dog! That's weird.
Suzy trained her so well.
I see.
Suzy trained her.
I can't believe this.
Hey, that's my shoe! Uh Okay in there, Candace? Yeah, yeah.
Don't even think about it! Where's my shoe? No, no, no! Hey, Candace.
You ready for the third level? Candace? Phineas? What's up? Okay.
We've got 78 complaints about food quantity, and we're still trying to explain TV to Pinky.
Again, forget the idea of little people in there.
So, what exactly are we supposed to do with this information? Hmm.
Okay.
The Jones' hamster says it's gonna lose it if someone doesn't oil the wheel in its cage.
Well, what now? That's what we'll do.
Let's tell all the owners what their pets want! Starting with this little fella right here.
Sorry.
Lady.
Lady right here.
Hey, Candace! What is going on here? We made an animal translator! We'll tell you about it later.
Right now we're on a mission.
Come on, guys.
See ya, Candace! An animal translator? I have had it up to here with stupid animals today! Why would you wanna know what stupid animals are saying? Oh, I can tell you what they'll say.
"I'm an animal and I bite my own heinie!" "I've got a small cranial capacity!" "Look at me! I don't have opposable thumbs!" "I eat with my face!" "I sweat through my tongue!" "I'm a furry-flea bitten loser! Like any other animal on this planet!" planet! planet! Get her! (Song: Perfect Day) It's a perfect day Get away from me! It's in the mid '70s Humidity at sixty percent It's a perfect day Not a cloud in the sky and I Can say without fear and dissent It's a picture postcard perfect kind of A summer afternoon It's a perfect day (Ahh-ahh-ahh) It's a perfect day Yeah It's a perfect day The birds are singing The bees are pollinating the flowers It's a perfect day The fauna is fawning And frolicking away all the hours It's a picture postcard perfect kind of A summer afternoon It's a perfect day (Ahh-ahh-ahh) It's a perfect day It's a perfect day It's a perfect day Oof! Now, Perry the Platypus, with a push of this button, we will move out of the automobile age, and usher in the age of the BO-AT! I'm driving on water! Look at me! I'm BO-AT-ing! Woo-hoo! Living the dream! Perry the Platypus? How didâ I always forget you are a semi-aquatic mammal.
Mom! Mom! Animals hate me! Oh, honey.
That's just ridiculous.
Perry likes you.
Huh.
Never mind.
Ah! No! Don't open the Metropolitan Oval Aquatic Trench! No, no, no, no, no, no! Oh, hey, look! It spells "MOAT".
I never noticed that before.
Curse you, Perry the Platypus! Mom! You're here! Come on, come on! You gotta see this! Candace, will youâ Oh! Aha! I can't believe it.
Everything is still here.
There it is! They built an animal translator! Oh, that's adorable.
Wait.
No, it is not! Hey, Mom.
We built an animal translator.
Look! See? You're gonna see.
It really works! Okay, Perry.
We've been waiting all day for this.
Oh, well.
I guess it doesn't mean anything.
Aw.
You know he's saying, "You guys are the best!" Now, come on everyone.
Inside for some lemonade.
Bu-bu-bu-bu-bu- but-but Hey, Candace.
Jeremy? Hey, where'd you go? Well, Iâ I brought you your shoe.
Oh.
Oh, don't worry.
I washed it.
Here.
Allow me.
Uh, Candace? You okay? Enchanted.