Rescue Me s02e02 Episode Script
Harmony
Hey.
What are you doing? What's it look like I'm doin'? Come on, man.
This is like the seventh ticket I've gotten in the last 10 days.
Didn't you take a look at the plaque? I'm F.
D.
N.
Y.
I'm on the job.
Not my job.
Come on, man.
I got two brothers who are cops.
- Yeah, I got a cousin who's a fireman.
- Oh, really? What's his name? Joe.
Look, we should stick together.
We're two Irish guys.
We're a dying breed.
- I'm Jewish.
- Huh? I'm a Jew.
It's funny.
You look Irish.
I just-- You know the difference between Irish guilt and Jewish guilt? - What? - Whiskey.
Look, man, you know.
I've been on the job ago, champ.
Deal with it.
You had your day.
They wrote books about you guys.
They put you up on a pedestal, and what happened? It turns out you ain't just heroes.
Turns out some of youse do blow and have gang bangs.
Turns out some of youse are just broken-down drunks on the verge of a complete and total mental collapse.
America don't like it when things get complicated, pal.
Asshole.
Shoot.
Damn it.
On another day C'mon, c'mon With these ropes I tied can we do no wrong Now we grieve 'cause now is gone Things were good when we were young With my teeth locked down I can see the blood Of a thousand men who have come and gone Now we grieve 'cause now is gone Things were good when we were young Is it safe to say C'mon, c'mon Was it right to leave C'mon, c'mon Will I ever learn C'mon, c'mon C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon I don't want him here.
I know you don't, but he's the best firefighter I've ever worked with.
- We need the guy.
- Like a hole in the head.
We got plenty of talent on the crew, but nobody with guts like Tommy.
- Gavin's got guts.
He's also got a big goddamn mouth.
- He quit drinking.
Since when? Since two days ago.
- Two whole days? - Nobody said Tommy was perfect.
- Everybody makes mistakes.
- And I'd be making one if I let his ass back in here.
It's not gonna happen, fellas.
Save your breath.
- Goddamn it, Ron.
- I said it's not gonna happen.
Hey.
Little catnap, huh? Jesus, man, I-- I haven't read this much since high school, man.
Actually, I never read a book in high school.
That's how bad this is.
What is it? Is it 'cause we're on an island? We're surrounded by water? - There's no fires.
What's going on? - It's been a little slow.
Yeah.
Hey, guys.
I drive an hour and a half, two hours to get here.
I sleep for 3 hours, and then I drive home two and a half hours.
It's crazy.
You could take the ferry.
- Do me a favor.
- What? If you ever see me on the ferry, shoot me in the goddamn head.
Okay? Tom, look, I know it doesn't compare to what you saw in the city.
- But we do get some action.
- Big supermarket burned about half a mile from here.
- When? - I was in junior high.
- Did you ask him? - No.
- What? - You sing? Huh? Do you-- Have you ever sung? - You know, like songs.
- If you can carry a tune, you'd really be helping us out.
- It's for the nationals.
- What are you guys talking about? - The firefighter barbershop quartet nationals.
- Yeah, it's a huge deal.
Our quartet's been in it the last four years running.
- We're called the Smoketeers.
- It was supposed to be the Smoke-Eaters, but people pronounced it the other way so much, we finally figured what the hell.
We thought we had a solid chance this year.
But then our lead singer, Bill Kelly-- - Works the other shift.
Great voice, perfect pitch.
- Got into a goddamn bar fight.
- Hey.
- Excuse me.
He got punched in the throat.
Now he can't sing.
Competition's two days away.
We're really scrambling.
- We're doing "Coney Island Baby.
" - Among others.
You'd be singing the lead part on that, so you'd only have to know the melody.
It's easy.
No harmony.
All right, I'm gonna go upstairs and leave you three guys alone so you can all blow each other, all right? Wow.
Another day, another 27 cents.
We got a raise? How's Jeannie doing? Good.
Ah, pretty good.
She starts to lose a step by the end of the day, but late morning, early afternoon, it's as if nothing changed.
Tell her I'm thinking about her? Thanks, Kenny.
Yeah? Hey, it's me.
How you doing? Yeah, I'm doing great.
Took me an hour and 15 to get over the Verrazano this morning.
I'd blow the goddamn thing up if I didn't think the terrorists would take credit for it.
Any luck with Janet and the kids? No.
My brother's on it, my cousin's on it.
You'll find them.
- Yeah.
What do you got for me? - Nothing yet.
- Jesus, Lou.
- We talked to Perrolli.
And? And it's gonna be a tough sell.
But we're working on it.
Asshole.
He's got the market cornered on that.
- What about the new guy? Any chance of getting rid of him? - I doubt it.
I happen to think the guy's a phony, but everyone else seems to have taken a shine.
He's like a chick.
He can talk to anybody about anything.
I totally think your bangs are the right length.
You don't think it makes my face look too square? No.
Have you ever thought about getting the Dorothy Hamill thing? I have totally thought about getting the Dorothy Hamill thing.
Okay, but wait.
You don't think that would make me look too dykey? You could never look dykey.
Oh, Sully.
And the guy can cook anything.
He's like some freak in the kitchen.
Salmon cake with a cream dill sauce.
Pork tenderloin, homemade apple sauce and brussels sprouts roasted in olive oil.
Flank steak with a port wine reduction and haricot vert.
Haricot vert? What the hell's that? I don't know.
It sure as shit looked like green beans to me.
We're never gonna lose this guy.
Well, it gets worse.
He's part owner of this paintball course out on the Island.
He took the whole crew there a couple weeks ago.
They had a blast.
Shit.
So what's the plan? Jerry said he was gonna make some phone calls, maybe go over Perrolli's head.
You guys gotta do something.
I'm losing my mind out here.
You know, Staten Island-- The other night, one of the guys on the crew lit two matches by mistake.
It was the biggest fire those guys have ever seen.
Swear to God.
Hey, where are you? You wanna get a cup of coffee or something? No.
I'm late for my meeting.
I'll call you tomorrow.
- We'll think of something.
- Thanks.
Liar.
You did not.
Mike, what are you doing here? Surprised? Yeah.
Can I come in? Um-- You could.
I'm not sure how comfortable everybody would be.
Everybody? Walt's here.
Who's Walt? My friend.
I thought we talked about this.
What do you mean? That I was probably gonna start seeing Walt.
Didn't we talk about that? I guess I didn't exactly get what you were saying.
Well, that's the problem right there, isn't it? So, you're dumping me? Look, we had a good time.
I think we enjoyed each other.
But this lasted as long as it was gonna last.
You're making a big mistake.
I'm a good-looking guy.
I'm in great shape.
I'm a New York City firefighter, Theresa! I can get any goddamn girl I want! Then you should do that.
Oh, man.
Yeah? - Tommy, it's Teddy.
How you doing? - I'm doing great.
Stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic for the last half hour.
You heard from your old man? He's still in Ireland as far as I know.
No, he's not.
You haven't been getting the postcards, have you? My mail's all screwed up.
I moved.
First it was Ireland, then France, then Germany.
He sent me a picture of him standing on the Great Wall! - Of China? - No, Peru.
Of course China! How many Great Walls are there? There's only one.
That's why it's great.
Hold on a second.
And making a move outside is-- Come on, 73! Come on! - Come on, you filthy whore! - Teddy? - Surfs takes it by a length.
- Oh, shit! Hi.
Where is he getting the cabbage to do all this traveling? That's the thing.
I just got a letter today, and inside there was a picture with him and some Chink broad.
I don't wanna start any rumors, but it looks like he's her boy toy.
You know what, Teddy? He's too old to be considered a boy toy, even by Bette Davis, who's been dead for, like, 10 years.
Okay? You got any money? What? I owe some major cash to some people.
Jesus, Teddy.
Goddamn.
I'm starting to sweat a little.
Anything you can do to help me? - How much do you need? - 26,000.
I'm sorry.
Who is this again? Look, I gotta go.
I'll call you later when it's safe.
Hey.
She went down a little after 8:15.
She's getting easier.
I only had to read her two stories.
No belly button song? Of course the belly button song.
That's a given.
How was physical therapy? A blast as always.
Can I give you some money? Oh, please don't.
I don't wanna cheapen this whole babysitting thing we've got going.
Have a good night.
What are you doing? Going with the moment.
I don't think so.
What? It gets better the closer you come.
Ah, Franco, don't.
Hey, look, I have to show you my appreciation, okay? You've been so good to me and Keela, I think it's time that I be good to you.
Can I tell you how this is gonna go? Yeah, please.
I love a woman who takes control.
You'll be really cute and really funny and really handsome and make great faces until I sleep with you, which I eventually will, because you're a total stud and I'm as unlaid as a pile of bricks.
Sounds good so far.
But then I'll want more out of the relationship eventually.
You know, with me being the woman and all.
And I'm so goddamn good in the sack, you'll actually try and commit for the first time in your whole life.
You'll change for me, Franco, but then you'll resent me, and then I'll resent you for resenting me.
And pretty soon we won't be able to stand being in the same room as each other, never mind forcing our body parts to intersect.
But we have to be in the same room because we work together.
So, unless one of us dies in a fire or moves away or kills the other one, we'll constantly be forced to remember the horrific, bloody train wreck of a relationship that started with your hand on my coat.
But it's your move, stud.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Smart man.
It's after 11:00, Tommy.
Yeah, I know.
I got caught up at something and, you know-- You couldn't call me? I was gonna call, then I just figured-- You figured that I'd be waiting up for you, which I was.
Let's not make a big giant thing out of this.
I'm going to bed.
I got you some chicken soup for the baby.
For the baby? I think that's the first time you've ever used the word "baby.
" No, it's not.
What are you talking about? I use "baby" all the time.
No, no, no.
No! Usually you just point to my stomach and ask, "How's it going?" How is it going? My stomach's a little off.
Actually, I don't feel good.
So sex is out of the question.
You might as well go home.
I quit drinking.
What? I quit drinking.
I was at a meeting.
That's why I was late.
I just thought I'm running so late I might as well just go straight over there.
You quit drinking? Yeah.
Three days ago.
Yeah, so, you know, I was just kind of shaky, so I didn't want to be alone tonight, you know? You quit for us-- for me and the baby? Yeah, yeah.
So, is a blow job out of the question or-- I was kidding.
Sheil.
Sheila? You bastard! You goddamn cheating bastard! Jeannie, for Christ sakes, what the hell are you doing? I'm your wife.
How could you? Do what? What are you talking about? Helen Bradley! My best friend! I know what you're doing with her! Helen Bradley.
She moved out of state 20 years ago.
What the hell are you talking about? You bastard! Jeannie, if you hit me one more time for Christ sakes-- Trouble Oh, trouble, trouble trouble, trouble Feels like every time I get back on my feet She come around and knock me down again Worry Oh, worry, worry worry, worry Sometimes I swear it feels like this worry Is my only friend Well, I've been saved By a woman I've been saved By a woman I've been saved By a woman She won't let me go She won't let me go Sheil? She won't let me go She won't let me go Whoa Ah She won't let me go She won't let me go She won't let me go She won't let me go Whoa Ah Whoa Hey, it's me.
Yeah, I know it's early.
I want to talk to you.
Who do you think you are, dumping me? No, let me talk.
You don't dump me.
I dump you.
I dump you 'cause I'm the man, baby, and you're a fat, disgusting bitch who's never gonna get laid good again! Laid well again.
Laid good again.
That's not the point! The point is you're a fat pig, and I only did you because I felt sorry for you! Go to hell, bitch! Come on.
Come on.
Pick up.
Pick up.
Yeah? Mick, you up? I am now.
A little early, isn't it? You're my sponsor.
You're supposed to be available to me 24/7, right? I'm honored.
What do you want? I feel like having a drink.
Don't.
It's like I can hear voices in my head.
I got this thirst coming on me, man.
I just really wanna pull over and have a couple of drinks.
Don't do it.
This is what you got for me? I'm calling you up telling you I'm on the verge of drinking, and you're telling me don't do it like some reverse Nike ad? Go ahead and take a drink, you pussy.
Great.
Some sponsor.
Man! You know what? I gotta call you back.
All right? Asshole.
Unbelievable.
Daddy? Colleen? Hi.
Hang on.
I gotta pull over.
Hang on.
Yeah, yeah.
Eat me, asshole.
No, I wasn't talking to you, honey.
Just some guy.
Is something wrong? I stole Mom's cell phone.
She doesn't know I'm calling you.
- Where are you? - This sucks so bad.
We live in a shitty little house, half our stuff isn't unpacked.
I understand.
I understand.
But where are you? I miss you, Daddy.
I miss you too, okay? Now tell me where you are.
You can't ever tell Mom I told you.
She'll kill me.
I won't tell her anything.
- We're in London.
- Jesus, England? London, Ohio.
It's near Columbus.
Can you come get us, Daddy? Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Tommy, I'd like to help you out, but we're stretched as it is.
I already got three guys out sick with the flu.
Chief, I'm gonna be gone one day, two days tops.
My hands are tied.
It's not like you need me around here.
Biggest call we got in the last few weeks was that old lady reporting a gas leak.
Ended up that she was the "leakee.
" Come on, Chief.
Suppose there's a fire.
- Suppose an asteroid hits the Earth.
- Tom, I can't take the risk.
The only guys getting any time off in this house until further notice are the guys doing the barbershop thing in Ohio.
What thing in Ohio? You know, that barbershop quartet competition.
Huh.
I thought you didn't sing.
Who said I didn't sing? Did you ever hear me say I didn't sing? Twelve years of Catholic school.
It's like being in prison.
All we did was sing.
The nuns loved my voice.
They said I sounded like an angel.
- What part did you sing? - Huh? - Bass, baritone, tenor? - Uh, I sang all the parts.
I was like a designated singer.
Whatever parts they needed sung, I sang.
You should've told us that before.
We already got somebody.
Who? Carmine.
Carmine can barely talk, never mind sing.
Jesus, Carmine.
Carmine's voice ain't that great.
He's flat a lot.
He knows all our songs.
The kid-- he's like a gofer for the quartet.
When we do a gig-- Nursing homes.
Hospitals.
He comes along, sets things up, takes care of the equipment.
What equipment? Okay, so it's not a lot of equipment.
- But we told him if we ever had an opening, he was in.
- He does know the songs.
Right.
Guys, we're not talking about going to some nursing home and singing for people who have no teeth left.
This is the big event.
This is the big show.
It's the nationals.
It's for the trophy.
I'm not sure there is a trophy.
We've never come close to winning.
Well, whatever.
It's for bragging rights.
Not that you really wanna brag about something like this.
I got the voice you need.
Can you sing something for us? What do you mean? We gotta get an idea of what you sound like.
- To see if you mesh with the group.
- Right.
I can mesh.
I'm the king of meshing.
Nickname in high school was Mesh.
Tom, can you just sing something for us? Now? Yeah.
- I'm not really warmed up.
Something, anything.
- Yeah.
"Silent Night.
" - I like that song.
Um-- All right.
All right.
I mean, I'm not, you know-- Go ahead.
All right, you know-- Um-- Silent night Holy night All is calm Round yon virgin Child What do you think? What? Nice.
It's okay.
It needs a little work.
Needs a lot of work.
- No, that was great, Tommy.
Thanks, Paulie.
Paulie knows.
He's got perfect pitch.
Thanks, pal.
You're in.
Great.
When do we leave? Soon as the shift's over.
We're gonna take my S.
U.
V.
Take us about seven hours.
But I figure we can use the time to rehearse.
Now, you can read music, right? What do you think? - You really think he's ready? - I'm ready, asshole.
Yeah, Carmine, come on over here and let's talk.
Yeah, take a walk.
Show business.
- Yep, it's a bitch.
Hey, Kenny.
Hey.
Hey, look at you.
Next time you try banging the cat, put little booties over its claws so it can't scratch.
- That's what I do.
- You like this, huh? More fun and games with the wife.
I wake up last night, she's beating the shit out of me.
Any reason? She says because I was screwing her best friend.
Oh, man.
She's really starting to slip, huh? Yeah.
Are you screwing her friend? Jesus, Kenny! My wife is sick.
You think I'm gonna go out and look for something on the side? Is that what you think of me? I'm sorry.
Jesus! I screwed the friend There we go.
She left for three weeks.
She said she had to go find herself.
Got stuck taking care of the kid by myself.
This is ancient history.
It all comes back to her last night? Amazing.
The doctor said with this Alzheimer's thing, life is like a deck of cards.
You got a full deck.
You just can't control the shuffle.
Hey, guys.
Morning.
Hey, how you doing, kid? How's the shoulder? It's pretty good.
Almost 100%.
I was wondering, you guys know anyplace around here where I can get this refilled? - Vicodin.
Party time.
- Yeah.
I don't really need it.
It's just the pain flares up a little bit.
Well, you can't.
This has been refilled twice.
So? You need a new prescription.
You gotta go back to your doctor or go visit the voodoo boys down at the medical office.
They got this stuff? Nothing that good, but they'll give you something close.
- Just remember to share with the class.
- You know me.
Thanks.
Hey, Franco, I don't know how you feel about Tommy these days, but we're trying to make a move to get him back into the house.
- The guy almost got me killed, Chief.
- I'm aware of that, Franco.
You should be, seeing as how I distinctly remember telling you it was gonna happen.
Now I got this because of him.
I got a bad shoulder.
I got three months of goddamn pain-- - Franco, he just wants to talk to you.
- About what? - Will you sit down with him? - I'll think about it.
Good morning, boys.
Sully's famous banana bread! Come and get it.
Prick.
Yeah.
But it is banana bread.
Hi.
Hey.
How's it going? Good.
Yeah? How's it-- How's it going with what's her name? Who? You know.
Oh.
I dumped her.
Really? Yeah, yesterday.
Hey, finally! Nice work.
Right here.
Thanks, bro.
I gotta tell you, I didn't understand that at all.
It's like you'd gone completely mental or something.
Yeah, it was.
But you're back now, huh? Another one, right here.
In that case, listen.
I met this chick the other night at a health club.
She teaches like spinning, whatever that is.
Anyway, smoking body.
Sounds good.
Well, she's mine.
But she's got this friend who really digs firemen, and she said if I could get her friend a date, it would help move things along for us to the next stage.
What's the next stage? The blow job stage.
- Oh, I like that stage.
- It's the best stage.
Anyway, Franco wouldn't do it.
He's hung up on the whole scar on the neck, Phantom of the Opera thing.
But it doesn't matter 'cause I got you, right? I'm gonna call her.
- You good for tonight? - Yeah, yeah, I'm good, bro.
Hang on.
I gotta call her.
I'm just kidding.
One more time.
You got everything? We got everything-- jackets, hats, pitch pipe.
This is gonna be great.
I already called shotgun.
Get away from the door.
Hey, hey.
No smoking in the truck.
Yeah, that's gonna work.
Yeah? Hi, sweetie.
Listen, I can't really talk right now, okay? Listen, the "dittle" baby wants his big daddy to bring some more soupy.
Do you think that big daddy can bring some more soupy-woupy? That better be the baby talking, because if it's you, big daddy's gonna come home and punch you right in the face, okay? I'd like to see you try.
Honey, I really gotta go.
I gotta keep this line free.
See? Gotta go.
- Wait.
When are you coming over? I'm very upset.
- Sheil.
One of my asshole neighbors threw a liquor bottle at my statue of the Blessed Virgin in the backyard.
People are very sick! Bye-bye.
Oh, no, no! Hey, Johnny, how's it going? Tommy, you talk to Uncle Teddy lately? We talked yesterday.
Why? Some of his boys saw some guys push him into a car outside the O.
T.
B.
Shit.
He told me he owed somebody a boatload of cabbage.
Something sounds really wrong.
I'm gonna look into it.
Okay.
Listen, I got a line on Janet and the kids.
Colleen called.
They're in Ohio, and I'm leaving right now.
Johnny? That's great, Tommy.
I gotta run.
But I-- Asshole.
Ready? Yeah, I'm ready.
- This is gonna be exciting.
- I'm coming in my pants as we speak.
Guys? I miss you most Of all All Sounds pretty good.
We got five hours.
I think we could pull it all together.
Nah, we don't wanna peak too early.
I think it sounds fine.
Tommy's a little flat.
Who asked you, equipment boy? - Let's just do it again, guys.
Come on.
- Yeah? What took you so long to get back to me? Where are you? Write this down.
Quick! Come on.
Where you going? I told you it's personal.
Please tell me this thing's got gas in it.
What's it get, 20 feet to the gallon? - We need you here, Tommy.
- I'm gonna be back in plenty of time, Sal.
- Don't worry about it.
- Fine! Go! Who gives a shit? Hey, Sal.
It's not like we had a chance in hell anyway.
We blow.
We don't blow.
You're not even in the group.
You know what's gonna happen.
Same as the last four years.
The winners never change.
The Five Alarm Four from Denver, Mrs.
O'Leary's Cowboys from Chicago, the Red Hot Papas from Kansas City-- they're gonna wipe the stage with us! Maybe it's our name.
Shut up.
No, fellas.
I've been thinking.
How 'bout this? The Pole Smokers.
Like we come down the pole so fast, we're smoking.
- Jesus.
- What are you guys doing, huh? Take a look at yourselves.
Standing in a hotel parking lot, looking like a bunch of losers.
Come on.
Stand up straight.
Where are we from? New York, right? The greatest city on the planet Earth.
Right.
And who do we represent? -Greatest fire department in the history of fire departments.
-That's right.
That's right.
So let's act like it.
Huh? - Yeah.
- We can kick these guys asses at anything-- football, hockey, even some pussy thing like singing, correct? That's right.
F.
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F.
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! F.
D.
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! F.
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! F.
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! If I don't make it back in time, kid, you're up.
Garrity, take the probie, go to the top floor, work your way down, and make a search.
- Probie, let's go.
-Battalion 15 to Manhattan, transmit a 1075.
Lou, take Sully, go to the floor above the fire and do a search.
- Join me? - It would be an honor.
Franco, take the first floor and the basement.
Bring the girl with you.
- I don't see a girl here.
- You gotta be more observant, sweetheart.
Move your ass.
Battalion 15 to Manhattan, transmit a 1075 at the box.
We got a second floor fire pushing out two windows.
secondary search is negative.
So what's the big deal? Why don't you just tell me what happened? I went back to her place and had some more beers.
Did you score? It was so easy, dude.
She was all over me.
Nice.
So, you gonna see her again or what? I don't know.
I thought she was hot.
She was so skinny, it's like she was sick.
I kept thinking of those starving Ethiopian kids you see on TV.
She had these little twig legs.
When we were doing it, her hips were cutting into me.
It hurt.
You're a complete pussy, you know that? Dude, I was afraid to get on top of her.
I kept hearing this cracking sound.
You're scaring me.
I don't wanna hear that you don't wanna have sex with skinny chicks.
You want another fat chick? No.
Thank God.
Not another one.
What? Nothing.
All clear.
It looks like it was electrical.
Davey, go and write this up.
Come here a second.
What's up? I got the goods on Perrolli.
I figured with all this shit going on with trying to get Tommy back into the firehouse, it'd be good to have some dirt on this scumbag.
What kind of dirt we talking? Illegitimate daughter.
Shee-ite.
Nobody knows about it, especially his wife.
We're talking blackmail here.
Too rough? No, it's great.
I'd just like to know beforehand so I can fully enjoy it.
Battalion 15, Manhattan.
What's your status? Battalion 15 to Manhattan, Okay, inside.
Hey, guys.
Daddy! Dad.
Hey, sweetie.
Oh, hey, hey, hey.
Daddy! Hey.
I missed you so much.
I missed you too.
Mom, Dad's here! Our new house is small and dark.
And it smells funny.
Don't worry.
Pack all your stuff up.
We're going home.
Okay? Hurry up, guys.
Pack everything.
Just wait for me inside.
Pack it all up.
How'd you find us? Johnny traced your credit cards.
Really? Yeah.
I haven't used my credit cards in three months.
I find that hard to believe.
Anyways, go pack your stuff.
We're heading home.
Just like that? You okay, Jan? Yeah, uh-- Steve this is Tommy, my ex.
Steve works for the Department in Columbus.
How you doing? Can I talk to you? Go ahead.
In the truck, Jan.
I'll be right back.
I had that same haircut back in 1975.
Unbelievable.
Goddamn unbelievable.
You really thought you were gonna get away with this? Probably not, but I thought I'd give it a shot.
You take money from me, you take my kids, you sell the house that I bought out from under my nose.
Thatwebought.
I bought.
I bought it with my blood, my sweat, okay? This speech again.
I can give you several different speeches right now.
You know I could have you arrested? So, Tommy, do it, if it'll make you feel better.
You'd do great in jail.
Least I'd know I was somewhere you couldn't get at me.
Let me tell you something.
There's no place that you can get away from me, okay? Huh? You drove halfway across the country, I found you.
Living with some mullet-headed hick? I want my kids hanging around with a guy like that.
Christ! And the goddamn joke of it is, the guy's a goddamn firefighter, after all the years you told me how much you hated the job, what the job did to me, the job was my whole life.
It wasn't the job.
It was never the job.
It was you! It was you! Now, please, please, just leave us alone.
Wait, wait, look.
I quit drinking.
Again? But I'm serious this time.
I mean, I really quit.
Honestly, I went through a really rough time after you guys left.
I had a couple of episodes.
I almost really spun off the planet.
I'm no good without you guys.
I need-- I need-- I need to have you back home.
What about Sheila? Okay, that was a mistake.
I'm not seeing her anymore.
I can-- I can fix it.
She's three months pregnant.
How you gonna fix that? I don't know.
I need to think about it.
I need some time.
Let's deal with this right now, okay? Listen.
Why don't you go in and pack your stuff.
Get the kids.
Let's go home and start over.
Okay, Tommy, I gotta think about it.
Come on.
Give me 15 minutes.
Yeah, of course.
Where the hell is he? Damn it, Tommy! Come on.
Jan? Hey, what's going on? Janet? Hey.
Looking for somebody? I'm looking for Janet.
She said she'd be ready in 15 minutes.
Janet's not here anymore.
Get out of my way, asshole.
She's at her house.
Two blocks over, down that way.
She took the kids out the back door and went home and piled them and everything else she could grab in 10 minutes in the car.
Her truck's right here.
That's my truck.
She told the kids they're going to meet you at the hotel.
They'll be 30 miles down the interstate before they figure out what's really going on.
You know, I owe you one, pal.
What are you talking about? Like I really wanted a long-term thing with some needy chick and her three little brats.
Get outta my way.
Hey, hey! Don't do that.
I don't wanna fight you, pal.
All right, come on.
Come on, boy.
All right, all right.
Say "uncle.
" What? Come on! Say it! I'm not gonna say "uncle.
" Yeah, you are.
Say "uncle.
" I'm not saying "uncle.
" Say it! Say it, asshole! All right.
All right, what? Uncle.
Huh? Uncle! I can't hear you.
I said "uncle.
" If you ever want a fresh one, you just come back anytime.
Prick.
Nice meeting you, asshole.
Hey, Theresa.
It's me.
I just wanted to call and apologize for what I said the last time I called.
I was really out of line, and I didn't mean any of it.
I-- I went out with somebody else last night, but I thought about you the whole time.
If we could-- If we could get together and talk-- Mike? Hey, you're home.
Hi.
Never call this number again.
Hey.
What are you doing? Let's go.
I'm out.
I'm not doing it.
- What? We made an agreement.
- I said I'm out! Mike! What time you got? Ten past.
Good.
Hey, what'd I miss? Just synchronizing our watches.
This is so cool.
You guys got the address? Check.
Phone? Check.
How's the battery? It's, uh, almost full.
Good.
Well, it's about 90%.
We-- More like 85 to 90.
We gotta-- More like 85.
Sean, this is the reason why you're not going alone.
Let's recap.
You guys head out now.
Estimated time of arrival at Perrolli's house? - One half hour.
- He'll leave from here in 20 minutes to go home.
I'll head him off, tell him what we know, tell him we want Tommy back in the firehouse.
If he says yes, we're done.
I call you.
You come back to home base.
If he says no, I call you and give you the go signal.
We knock on the door, tell his wife everything.
For some reason I don't see that happening.
Neither do I.
Wait.
It went down to about 80.
God help us.
How did you find out? Come on.
People talk.
It's ugly, but it's human nature.
Jesus.
Well, whatever you do, Jerry, I'm begging you, don't spread it around.
That could do a lot of damage to a lot of lives.
Yeah.
Imagine the reaction from your wife.
My wife? She wouldn't be surprised at all.
She hates my cousin's guts.
Always has.
Your cousin? Robert.
Rob Perrolli.
Wait a minute.
You thought it was me with the illegitimate kid? Well-- You putz! See ya tomorrow.
Oh, Jesus.
Whatever you do, do not go into that house.
And do not talk to the wife.
Just turn around and go! Chief? Well? The connection sucks.
But I definitely heard him say it was a go.
Ah, shit.
All of a sudden I'm not liking this plan so much.
Yeah, me neither.
Yes? Hi.
We work with your husband.
I'm Ken Shea.
I'm Sean Garrity.
Hi.
He should be home soon.
I was wondering if maybe we could come in and talk to you for a few seconds.
Sure.
Come on in.
And now, making, I believe, their first appearance in the semifinal round in four years, from Staten Island, New York, the Smoketeers.
One little quarrel And two lovers parted He's sad and lonely And she's brokenhearted Colleen? Both of them know They're to blame This wasn't part Of the game He calls to tell her His mind's In a whirl He can't even think of his name She says that she is As blue As can be That nothing at home Seems The same The chairs in the parlor All miss You The pictures all frown On the wall The flowers Won't grow For they seem To know That the sunshine Won't come in at all Our little canary Won't sing Anymore The folks ask me why What happened? You don't call Our whole house Is blue They want you Only you But I Miss you most Of all I miss you most Of All Cloudland.
What are you doing? What's it look like I'm doin'? Come on, man.
This is like the seventh ticket I've gotten in the last 10 days.
Didn't you take a look at the plaque? I'm F.
D.
N.
Y.
I'm on the job.
Not my job.
Come on, man.
I got two brothers who are cops.
- Yeah, I got a cousin who's a fireman.
- Oh, really? What's his name? Joe.
Look, we should stick together.
We're two Irish guys.
We're a dying breed.
- I'm Jewish.
- Huh? I'm a Jew.
It's funny.
You look Irish.
I just-- You know the difference between Irish guilt and Jewish guilt? - What? - Whiskey.
Look, man, you know.
I've been on the job ago, champ.
Deal with it.
You had your day.
They wrote books about you guys.
They put you up on a pedestal, and what happened? It turns out you ain't just heroes.
Turns out some of youse do blow and have gang bangs.
Turns out some of youse are just broken-down drunks on the verge of a complete and total mental collapse.
America don't like it when things get complicated, pal.
Asshole.
Shoot.
Damn it.
On another day C'mon, c'mon With these ropes I tied can we do no wrong Now we grieve 'cause now is gone Things were good when we were young With my teeth locked down I can see the blood Of a thousand men who have come and gone Now we grieve 'cause now is gone Things were good when we were young Is it safe to say C'mon, c'mon Was it right to leave C'mon, c'mon Will I ever learn C'mon, c'mon C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon I don't want him here.
I know you don't, but he's the best firefighter I've ever worked with.
- We need the guy.
- Like a hole in the head.
We got plenty of talent on the crew, but nobody with guts like Tommy.
- Gavin's got guts.
He's also got a big goddamn mouth.
- He quit drinking.
Since when? Since two days ago.
- Two whole days? - Nobody said Tommy was perfect.
- Everybody makes mistakes.
- And I'd be making one if I let his ass back in here.
It's not gonna happen, fellas.
Save your breath.
- Goddamn it, Ron.
- I said it's not gonna happen.
Hey.
Little catnap, huh? Jesus, man, I-- I haven't read this much since high school, man.
Actually, I never read a book in high school.
That's how bad this is.
What is it? Is it 'cause we're on an island? We're surrounded by water? - There's no fires.
What's going on? - It's been a little slow.
Yeah.
Hey, guys.
I drive an hour and a half, two hours to get here.
I sleep for 3 hours, and then I drive home two and a half hours.
It's crazy.
You could take the ferry.
- Do me a favor.
- What? If you ever see me on the ferry, shoot me in the goddamn head.
Okay? Tom, look, I know it doesn't compare to what you saw in the city.
- But we do get some action.
- Big supermarket burned about half a mile from here.
- When? - I was in junior high.
- Did you ask him? - No.
- What? - You sing? Huh? Do you-- Have you ever sung? - You know, like songs.
- If you can carry a tune, you'd really be helping us out.
- It's for the nationals.
- What are you guys talking about? - The firefighter barbershop quartet nationals.
- Yeah, it's a huge deal.
Our quartet's been in it the last four years running.
- We're called the Smoketeers.
- It was supposed to be the Smoke-Eaters, but people pronounced it the other way so much, we finally figured what the hell.
We thought we had a solid chance this year.
But then our lead singer, Bill Kelly-- - Works the other shift.
Great voice, perfect pitch.
- Got into a goddamn bar fight.
- Hey.
- Excuse me.
He got punched in the throat.
Now he can't sing.
Competition's two days away.
We're really scrambling.
- We're doing "Coney Island Baby.
" - Among others.
You'd be singing the lead part on that, so you'd only have to know the melody.
It's easy.
No harmony.
All right, I'm gonna go upstairs and leave you three guys alone so you can all blow each other, all right? Wow.
Another day, another 27 cents.
We got a raise? How's Jeannie doing? Good.
Ah, pretty good.
She starts to lose a step by the end of the day, but late morning, early afternoon, it's as if nothing changed.
Tell her I'm thinking about her? Thanks, Kenny.
Yeah? Hey, it's me.
How you doing? Yeah, I'm doing great.
Took me an hour and 15 to get over the Verrazano this morning.
I'd blow the goddamn thing up if I didn't think the terrorists would take credit for it.
Any luck with Janet and the kids? No.
My brother's on it, my cousin's on it.
You'll find them.
- Yeah.
What do you got for me? - Nothing yet.
- Jesus, Lou.
- We talked to Perrolli.
And? And it's gonna be a tough sell.
But we're working on it.
Asshole.
He's got the market cornered on that.
- What about the new guy? Any chance of getting rid of him? - I doubt it.
I happen to think the guy's a phony, but everyone else seems to have taken a shine.
He's like a chick.
He can talk to anybody about anything.
I totally think your bangs are the right length.
You don't think it makes my face look too square? No.
Have you ever thought about getting the Dorothy Hamill thing? I have totally thought about getting the Dorothy Hamill thing.
Okay, but wait.
You don't think that would make me look too dykey? You could never look dykey.
Oh, Sully.
And the guy can cook anything.
He's like some freak in the kitchen.
Salmon cake with a cream dill sauce.
Pork tenderloin, homemade apple sauce and brussels sprouts roasted in olive oil.
Flank steak with a port wine reduction and haricot vert.
Haricot vert? What the hell's that? I don't know.
It sure as shit looked like green beans to me.
We're never gonna lose this guy.
Well, it gets worse.
He's part owner of this paintball course out on the Island.
He took the whole crew there a couple weeks ago.
They had a blast.
Shit.
So what's the plan? Jerry said he was gonna make some phone calls, maybe go over Perrolli's head.
You guys gotta do something.
I'm losing my mind out here.
You know, Staten Island-- The other night, one of the guys on the crew lit two matches by mistake.
It was the biggest fire those guys have ever seen.
Swear to God.
Hey, where are you? You wanna get a cup of coffee or something? No.
I'm late for my meeting.
I'll call you tomorrow.
- We'll think of something.
- Thanks.
Liar.
You did not.
Mike, what are you doing here? Surprised? Yeah.
Can I come in? Um-- You could.
I'm not sure how comfortable everybody would be.
Everybody? Walt's here.
Who's Walt? My friend.
I thought we talked about this.
What do you mean? That I was probably gonna start seeing Walt.
Didn't we talk about that? I guess I didn't exactly get what you were saying.
Well, that's the problem right there, isn't it? So, you're dumping me? Look, we had a good time.
I think we enjoyed each other.
But this lasted as long as it was gonna last.
You're making a big mistake.
I'm a good-looking guy.
I'm in great shape.
I'm a New York City firefighter, Theresa! I can get any goddamn girl I want! Then you should do that.
Oh, man.
Yeah? - Tommy, it's Teddy.
How you doing? - I'm doing great.
Stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic for the last half hour.
You heard from your old man? He's still in Ireland as far as I know.
No, he's not.
You haven't been getting the postcards, have you? My mail's all screwed up.
I moved.
First it was Ireland, then France, then Germany.
He sent me a picture of him standing on the Great Wall! - Of China? - No, Peru.
Of course China! How many Great Walls are there? There's only one.
That's why it's great.
Hold on a second.
And making a move outside is-- Come on, 73! Come on! - Come on, you filthy whore! - Teddy? - Surfs takes it by a length.
- Oh, shit! Hi.
Where is he getting the cabbage to do all this traveling? That's the thing.
I just got a letter today, and inside there was a picture with him and some Chink broad.
I don't wanna start any rumors, but it looks like he's her boy toy.
You know what, Teddy? He's too old to be considered a boy toy, even by Bette Davis, who's been dead for, like, 10 years.
Okay? You got any money? What? I owe some major cash to some people.
Jesus, Teddy.
Goddamn.
I'm starting to sweat a little.
Anything you can do to help me? - How much do you need? - 26,000.
I'm sorry.
Who is this again? Look, I gotta go.
I'll call you later when it's safe.
Hey.
She went down a little after 8:15.
She's getting easier.
I only had to read her two stories.
No belly button song? Of course the belly button song.
That's a given.
How was physical therapy? A blast as always.
Can I give you some money? Oh, please don't.
I don't wanna cheapen this whole babysitting thing we've got going.
Have a good night.
What are you doing? Going with the moment.
I don't think so.
What? It gets better the closer you come.
Ah, Franco, don't.
Hey, look, I have to show you my appreciation, okay? You've been so good to me and Keela, I think it's time that I be good to you.
Can I tell you how this is gonna go? Yeah, please.
I love a woman who takes control.
You'll be really cute and really funny and really handsome and make great faces until I sleep with you, which I eventually will, because you're a total stud and I'm as unlaid as a pile of bricks.
Sounds good so far.
But then I'll want more out of the relationship eventually.
You know, with me being the woman and all.
And I'm so goddamn good in the sack, you'll actually try and commit for the first time in your whole life.
You'll change for me, Franco, but then you'll resent me, and then I'll resent you for resenting me.
And pretty soon we won't be able to stand being in the same room as each other, never mind forcing our body parts to intersect.
But we have to be in the same room because we work together.
So, unless one of us dies in a fire or moves away or kills the other one, we'll constantly be forced to remember the horrific, bloody train wreck of a relationship that started with your hand on my coat.
But it's your move, stud.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Smart man.
It's after 11:00, Tommy.
Yeah, I know.
I got caught up at something and, you know-- You couldn't call me? I was gonna call, then I just figured-- You figured that I'd be waiting up for you, which I was.
Let's not make a big giant thing out of this.
I'm going to bed.
I got you some chicken soup for the baby.
For the baby? I think that's the first time you've ever used the word "baby.
" No, it's not.
What are you talking about? I use "baby" all the time.
No, no, no.
No! Usually you just point to my stomach and ask, "How's it going?" How is it going? My stomach's a little off.
Actually, I don't feel good.
So sex is out of the question.
You might as well go home.
I quit drinking.
What? I quit drinking.
I was at a meeting.
That's why I was late.
I just thought I'm running so late I might as well just go straight over there.
You quit drinking? Yeah.
Three days ago.
Yeah, so, you know, I was just kind of shaky, so I didn't want to be alone tonight, you know? You quit for us-- for me and the baby? Yeah, yeah.
So, is a blow job out of the question or-- I was kidding.
Sheil.
Sheila? You bastard! You goddamn cheating bastard! Jeannie, for Christ sakes, what the hell are you doing? I'm your wife.
How could you? Do what? What are you talking about? Helen Bradley! My best friend! I know what you're doing with her! Helen Bradley.
She moved out of state 20 years ago.
What the hell are you talking about? You bastard! Jeannie, if you hit me one more time for Christ sakes-- Trouble Oh, trouble, trouble trouble, trouble Feels like every time I get back on my feet She come around and knock me down again Worry Oh, worry, worry worry, worry Sometimes I swear it feels like this worry Is my only friend Well, I've been saved By a woman I've been saved By a woman I've been saved By a woman She won't let me go She won't let me go Sheil? She won't let me go She won't let me go Whoa Ah She won't let me go She won't let me go She won't let me go She won't let me go Whoa Ah Whoa Hey, it's me.
Yeah, I know it's early.
I want to talk to you.
Who do you think you are, dumping me? No, let me talk.
You don't dump me.
I dump you.
I dump you 'cause I'm the man, baby, and you're a fat, disgusting bitch who's never gonna get laid good again! Laid well again.
Laid good again.
That's not the point! The point is you're a fat pig, and I only did you because I felt sorry for you! Go to hell, bitch! Come on.
Come on.
Pick up.
Pick up.
Yeah? Mick, you up? I am now.
A little early, isn't it? You're my sponsor.
You're supposed to be available to me 24/7, right? I'm honored.
What do you want? I feel like having a drink.
Don't.
It's like I can hear voices in my head.
I got this thirst coming on me, man.
I just really wanna pull over and have a couple of drinks.
Don't do it.
This is what you got for me? I'm calling you up telling you I'm on the verge of drinking, and you're telling me don't do it like some reverse Nike ad? Go ahead and take a drink, you pussy.
Great.
Some sponsor.
Man! You know what? I gotta call you back.
All right? Asshole.
Unbelievable.
Daddy? Colleen? Hi.
Hang on.
I gotta pull over.
Hang on.
Yeah, yeah.
Eat me, asshole.
No, I wasn't talking to you, honey.
Just some guy.
Is something wrong? I stole Mom's cell phone.
She doesn't know I'm calling you.
- Where are you? - This sucks so bad.
We live in a shitty little house, half our stuff isn't unpacked.
I understand.
I understand.
But where are you? I miss you, Daddy.
I miss you too, okay? Now tell me where you are.
You can't ever tell Mom I told you.
She'll kill me.
I won't tell her anything.
- We're in London.
- Jesus, England? London, Ohio.
It's near Columbus.
Can you come get us, Daddy? Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Tommy, I'd like to help you out, but we're stretched as it is.
I already got three guys out sick with the flu.
Chief, I'm gonna be gone one day, two days tops.
My hands are tied.
It's not like you need me around here.
Biggest call we got in the last few weeks was that old lady reporting a gas leak.
Ended up that she was the "leakee.
" Come on, Chief.
Suppose there's a fire.
- Suppose an asteroid hits the Earth.
- Tom, I can't take the risk.
The only guys getting any time off in this house until further notice are the guys doing the barbershop thing in Ohio.
What thing in Ohio? You know, that barbershop quartet competition.
Huh.
I thought you didn't sing.
Who said I didn't sing? Did you ever hear me say I didn't sing? Twelve years of Catholic school.
It's like being in prison.
All we did was sing.
The nuns loved my voice.
They said I sounded like an angel.
- What part did you sing? - Huh? - Bass, baritone, tenor? - Uh, I sang all the parts.
I was like a designated singer.
Whatever parts they needed sung, I sang.
You should've told us that before.
We already got somebody.
Who? Carmine.
Carmine can barely talk, never mind sing.
Jesus, Carmine.
Carmine's voice ain't that great.
He's flat a lot.
He knows all our songs.
The kid-- he's like a gofer for the quartet.
When we do a gig-- Nursing homes.
Hospitals.
He comes along, sets things up, takes care of the equipment.
What equipment? Okay, so it's not a lot of equipment.
- But we told him if we ever had an opening, he was in.
- He does know the songs.
Right.
Guys, we're not talking about going to some nursing home and singing for people who have no teeth left.
This is the big event.
This is the big show.
It's the nationals.
It's for the trophy.
I'm not sure there is a trophy.
We've never come close to winning.
Well, whatever.
It's for bragging rights.
Not that you really wanna brag about something like this.
I got the voice you need.
Can you sing something for us? What do you mean? We gotta get an idea of what you sound like.
- To see if you mesh with the group.
- Right.
I can mesh.
I'm the king of meshing.
Nickname in high school was Mesh.
Tom, can you just sing something for us? Now? Yeah.
- I'm not really warmed up.
Something, anything.
- Yeah.
"Silent Night.
" - I like that song.
Um-- All right.
All right.
I mean, I'm not, you know-- Go ahead.
All right, you know-- Um-- Silent night Holy night All is calm Round yon virgin Child What do you think? What? Nice.
It's okay.
It needs a little work.
Needs a lot of work.
- No, that was great, Tommy.
Thanks, Paulie.
Paulie knows.
He's got perfect pitch.
Thanks, pal.
You're in.
Great.
When do we leave? Soon as the shift's over.
We're gonna take my S.
U.
V.
Take us about seven hours.
But I figure we can use the time to rehearse.
Now, you can read music, right? What do you think? - You really think he's ready? - I'm ready, asshole.
Yeah, Carmine, come on over here and let's talk.
Yeah, take a walk.
Show business.
- Yep, it's a bitch.
Hey, Kenny.
Hey.
Hey, look at you.
Next time you try banging the cat, put little booties over its claws so it can't scratch.
- That's what I do.
- You like this, huh? More fun and games with the wife.
I wake up last night, she's beating the shit out of me.
Any reason? She says because I was screwing her best friend.
Oh, man.
She's really starting to slip, huh? Yeah.
Are you screwing her friend? Jesus, Kenny! My wife is sick.
You think I'm gonna go out and look for something on the side? Is that what you think of me? I'm sorry.
Jesus! I screwed the friend There we go.
She left for three weeks.
She said she had to go find herself.
Got stuck taking care of the kid by myself.
This is ancient history.
It all comes back to her last night? Amazing.
The doctor said with this Alzheimer's thing, life is like a deck of cards.
You got a full deck.
You just can't control the shuffle.
Hey, guys.
Morning.
Hey, how you doing, kid? How's the shoulder? It's pretty good.
Almost 100%.
I was wondering, you guys know anyplace around here where I can get this refilled? - Vicodin.
Party time.
- Yeah.
I don't really need it.
It's just the pain flares up a little bit.
Well, you can't.
This has been refilled twice.
So? You need a new prescription.
You gotta go back to your doctor or go visit the voodoo boys down at the medical office.
They got this stuff? Nothing that good, but they'll give you something close.
- Just remember to share with the class.
- You know me.
Thanks.
Hey, Franco, I don't know how you feel about Tommy these days, but we're trying to make a move to get him back into the house.
- The guy almost got me killed, Chief.
- I'm aware of that, Franco.
You should be, seeing as how I distinctly remember telling you it was gonna happen.
Now I got this because of him.
I got a bad shoulder.
I got three months of goddamn pain-- - Franco, he just wants to talk to you.
- About what? - Will you sit down with him? - I'll think about it.
Good morning, boys.
Sully's famous banana bread! Come and get it.
Prick.
Yeah.
But it is banana bread.
Hi.
Hey.
How's it going? Good.
Yeah? How's it-- How's it going with what's her name? Who? You know.
Oh.
I dumped her.
Really? Yeah, yesterday.
Hey, finally! Nice work.
Right here.
Thanks, bro.
I gotta tell you, I didn't understand that at all.
It's like you'd gone completely mental or something.
Yeah, it was.
But you're back now, huh? Another one, right here.
In that case, listen.
I met this chick the other night at a health club.
She teaches like spinning, whatever that is.
Anyway, smoking body.
Sounds good.
Well, she's mine.
But she's got this friend who really digs firemen, and she said if I could get her friend a date, it would help move things along for us to the next stage.
What's the next stage? The blow job stage.
- Oh, I like that stage.
- It's the best stage.
Anyway, Franco wouldn't do it.
He's hung up on the whole scar on the neck, Phantom of the Opera thing.
But it doesn't matter 'cause I got you, right? I'm gonna call her.
- You good for tonight? - Yeah, yeah, I'm good, bro.
Hang on.
I gotta call her.
I'm just kidding.
One more time.
You got everything? We got everything-- jackets, hats, pitch pipe.
This is gonna be great.
I already called shotgun.
Get away from the door.
Hey, hey.
No smoking in the truck.
Yeah, that's gonna work.
Yeah? Hi, sweetie.
Listen, I can't really talk right now, okay? Listen, the "dittle" baby wants his big daddy to bring some more soupy.
Do you think that big daddy can bring some more soupy-woupy? That better be the baby talking, because if it's you, big daddy's gonna come home and punch you right in the face, okay? I'd like to see you try.
Honey, I really gotta go.
I gotta keep this line free.
See? Gotta go.
- Wait.
When are you coming over? I'm very upset.
- Sheil.
One of my asshole neighbors threw a liquor bottle at my statue of the Blessed Virgin in the backyard.
People are very sick! Bye-bye.
Oh, no, no! Hey, Johnny, how's it going? Tommy, you talk to Uncle Teddy lately? We talked yesterday.
Why? Some of his boys saw some guys push him into a car outside the O.
T.
B.
Shit.
He told me he owed somebody a boatload of cabbage.
Something sounds really wrong.
I'm gonna look into it.
Okay.
Listen, I got a line on Janet and the kids.
Colleen called.
They're in Ohio, and I'm leaving right now.
Johnny? That's great, Tommy.
I gotta run.
But I-- Asshole.
Ready? Yeah, I'm ready.
- This is gonna be exciting.
- I'm coming in my pants as we speak.
Guys? I miss you most Of all All Sounds pretty good.
We got five hours.
I think we could pull it all together.
Nah, we don't wanna peak too early.
I think it sounds fine.
Tommy's a little flat.
Who asked you, equipment boy? - Let's just do it again, guys.
Come on.
- Yeah? What took you so long to get back to me? Where are you? Write this down.
Quick! Come on.
Where you going? I told you it's personal.
Please tell me this thing's got gas in it.
What's it get, 20 feet to the gallon? - We need you here, Tommy.
- I'm gonna be back in plenty of time, Sal.
- Don't worry about it.
- Fine! Go! Who gives a shit? Hey, Sal.
It's not like we had a chance in hell anyway.
We blow.
We don't blow.
You're not even in the group.
You know what's gonna happen.
Same as the last four years.
The winners never change.
The Five Alarm Four from Denver, Mrs.
O'Leary's Cowboys from Chicago, the Red Hot Papas from Kansas City-- they're gonna wipe the stage with us! Maybe it's our name.
Shut up.
No, fellas.
I've been thinking.
How 'bout this? The Pole Smokers.
Like we come down the pole so fast, we're smoking.
- Jesus.
- What are you guys doing, huh? Take a look at yourselves.
Standing in a hotel parking lot, looking like a bunch of losers.
Come on.
Stand up straight.
Where are we from? New York, right? The greatest city on the planet Earth.
Right.
And who do we represent? -Greatest fire department in the history of fire departments.
-That's right.
That's right.
So let's act like it.
Huh? - Yeah.
- We can kick these guys asses at anything-- football, hockey, even some pussy thing like singing, correct? That's right.
F.
D.
N.
Y.
F.
D.
N.
Y.
! F.
D.
N.
Y.
! F.
D.
N.
Y.
! F.
D.
N.
Y.
! F.
D.
N.
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! F.
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! If I don't make it back in time, kid, you're up.
Garrity, take the probie, go to the top floor, work your way down, and make a search.
- Probie, let's go.
-Battalion 15 to Manhattan, transmit a 1075.
Lou, take Sully, go to the floor above the fire and do a search.
- Join me? - It would be an honor.
Franco, take the first floor and the basement.
Bring the girl with you.
- I don't see a girl here.
- You gotta be more observant, sweetheart.
Move your ass.
Battalion 15 to Manhattan, transmit a 1075 at the box.
We got a second floor fire pushing out two windows.
secondary search is negative.
So what's the big deal? Why don't you just tell me what happened? I went back to her place and had some more beers.
Did you score? It was so easy, dude.
She was all over me.
Nice.
So, you gonna see her again or what? I don't know.
I thought she was hot.
She was so skinny, it's like she was sick.
I kept thinking of those starving Ethiopian kids you see on TV.
She had these little twig legs.
When we were doing it, her hips were cutting into me.
It hurt.
You're a complete pussy, you know that? Dude, I was afraid to get on top of her.
I kept hearing this cracking sound.
You're scaring me.
I don't wanna hear that you don't wanna have sex with skinny chicks.
You want another fat chick? No.
Thank God.
Not another one.
What? Nothing.
All clear.
It looks like it was electrical.
Davey, go and write this up.
Come here a second.
What's up? I got the goods on Perrolli.
I figured with all this shit going on with trying to get Tommy back into the firehouse, it'd be good to have some dirt on this scumbag.
What kind of dirt we talking? Illegitimate daughter.
Shee-ite.
Nobody knows about it, especially his wife.
We're talking blackmail here.
Too rough? No, it's great.
I'd just like to know beforehand so I can fully enjoy it.
Battalion 15, Manhattan.
What's your status? Battalion 15 to Manhattan, Okay, inside.
Hey, guys.
Daddy! Dad.
Hey, sweetie.
Oh, hey, hey, hey.
Daddy! Hey.
I missed you so much.
I missed you too.
Mom, Dad's here! Our new house is small and dark.
And it smells funny.
Don't worry.
Pack all your stuff up.
We're going home.
Okay? Hurry up, guys.
Pack everything.
Just wait for me inside.
Pack it all up.
How'd you find us? Johnny traced your credit cards.
Really? Yeah.
I haven't used my credit cards in three months.
I find that hard to believe.
Anyways, go pack your stuff.
We're heading home.
Just like that? You okay, Jan? Yeah, uh-- Steve this is Tommy, my ex.
Steve works for the Department in Columbus.
How you doing? Can I talk to you? Go ahead.
In the truck, Jan.
I'll be right back.
I had that same haircut back in 1975.
Unbelievable.
Goddamn unbelievable.
You really thought you were gonna get away with this? Probably not, but I thought I'd give it a shot.
You take money from me, you take my kids, you sell the house that I bought out from under my nose.
Thatwebought.
I bought.
I bought it with my blood, my sweat, okay? This speech again.
I can give you several different speeches right now.
You know I could have you arrested? So, Tommy, do it, if it'll make you feel better.
You'd do great in jail.
Least I'd know I was somewhere you couldn't get at me.
Let me tell you something.
There's no place that you can get away from me, okay? Huh? You drove halfway across the country, I found you.
Living with some mullet-headed hick? I want my kids hanging around with a guy like that.
Christ! And the goddamn joke of it is, the guy's a goddamn firefighter, after all the years you told me how much you hated the job, what the job did to me, the job was my whole life.
It wasn't the job.
It was never the job.
It was you! It was you! Now, please, please, just leave us alone.
Wait, wait, look.
I quit drinking.
Again? But I'm serious this time.
I mean, I really quit.
Honestly, I went through a really rough time after you guys left.
I had a couple of episodes.
I almost really spun off the planet.
I'm no good without you guys.
I need-- I need-- I need to have you back home.
What about Sheila? Okay, that was a mistake.
I'm not seeing her anymore.
I can-- I can fix it.
She's three months pregnant.
How you gonna fix that? I don't know.
I need to think about it.
I need some time.
Let's deal with this right now, okay? Listen.
Why don't you go in and pack your stuff.
Get the kids.
Let's go home and start over.
Okay, Tommy, I gotta think about it.
Come on.
Give me 15 minutes.
Yeah, of course.
Where the hell is he? Damn it, Tommy! Come on.
Jan? Hey, what's going on? Janet? Hey.
Looking for somebody? I'm looking for Janet.
She said she'd be ready in 15 minutes.
Janet's not here anymore.
Get out of my way, asshole.
She's at her house.
Two blocks over, down that way.
She took the kids out the back door and went home and piled them and everything else she could grab in 10 minutes in the car.
Her truck's right here.
That's my truck.
She told the kids they're going to meet you at the hotel.
They'll be 30 miles down the interstate before they figure out what's really going on.
You know, I owe you one, pal.
What are you talking about? Like I really wanted a long-term thing with some needy chick and her three little brats.
Get outta my way.
Hey, hey! Don't do that.
I don't wanna fight you, pal.
All right, come on.
Come on, boy.
All right, all right.
Say "uncle.
" What? Come on! Say it! I'm not gonna say "uncle.
" Yeah, you are.
Say "uncle.
" I'm not saying "uncle.
" Say it! Say it, asshole! All right.
All right, what? Uncle.
Huh? Uncle! I can't hear you.
I said "uncle.
" If you ever want a fresh one, you just come back anytime.
Prick.
Nice meeting you, asshole.
Hey, Theresa.
It's me.
I just wanted to call and apologize for what I said the last time I called.
I was really out of line, and I didn't mean any of it.
I-- I went out with somebody else last night, but I thought about you the whole time.
If we could-- If we could get together and talk-- Mike? Hey, you're home.
Hi.
Never call this number again.
Hey.
What are you doing? Let's go.
I'm out.
I'm not doing it.
- What? We made an agreement.
- I said I'm out! Mike! What time you got? Ten past.
Good.
Hey, what'd I miss? Just synchronizing our watches.
This is so cool.
You guys got the address? Check.
Phone? Check.
How's the battery? It's, uh, almost full.
Good.
Well, it's about 90%.
We-- More like 85 to 90.
We gotta-- More like 85.
Sean, this is the reason why you're not going alone.
Let's recap.
You guys head out now.
Estimated time of arrival at Perrolli's house? - One half hour.
- He'll leave from here in 20 minutes to go home.
I'll head him off, tell him what we know, tell him we want Tommy back in the firehouse.
If he says yes, we're done.
I call you.
You come back to home base.
If he says no, I call you and give you the go signal.
We knock on the door, tell his wife everything.
For some reason I don't see that happening.
Neither do I.
Wait.
It went down to about 80.
God help us.
How did you find out? Come on.
People talk.
It's ugly, but it's human nature.
Jesus.
Well, whatever you do, Jerry, I'm begging you, don't spread it around.
That could do a lot of damage to a lot of lives.
Yeah.
Imagine the reaction from your wife.
My wife? She wouldn't be surprised at all.
She hates my cousin's guts.
Always has.
Your cousin? Robert.
Rob Perrolli.
Wait a minute.
You thought it was me with the illegitimate kid? Well-- You putz! See ya tomorrow.
Oh, Jesus.
Whatever you do, do not go into that house.
And do not talk to the wife.
Just turn around and go! Chief? Well? The connection sucks.
But I definitely heard him say it was a go.
Ah, shit.
All of a sudden I'm not liking this plan so much.
Yeah, me neither.
Yes? Hi.
We work with your husband.
I'm Ken Shea.
I'm Sean Garrity.
Hi.
He should be home soon.
I was wondering if maybe we could come in and talk to you for a few seconds.
Sure.
Come on in.
And now, making, I believe, their first appearance in the semifinal round in four years, from Staten Island, New York, the Smoketeers.
One little quarrel And two lovers parted He's sad and lonely And she's brokenhearted Colleen? Both of them know They're to blame This wasn't part Of the game He calls to tell her His mind's In a whirl He can't even think of his name She says that she is As blue As can be That nothing at home Seems The same The chairs in the parlor All miss You The pictures all frown On the wall The flowers Won't grow For they seem To know That the sunshine Won't come in at all Our little canary Won't sing Anymore The folks ask me why What happened? You don't call Our whole house Is blue They want you Only you But I Miss you most Of all I miss you most Of All Cloudland.