Rugrats (2021) s02e02 Episode Script

[drumroll]
[cheerful electronic music]
♪
[laughs]
[whimpering]
Uh!
Wah!
♪
[exclaims]
[frog ribbits]
[frog croaks]
[laughing]
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
♪
[car horn honks]
[toy meows]
Ta-da!
- Ah!
- Ugh.
[chuckles]
[whistles]
Whoa! Ah!
- [chuckles]
- Aww.
♪
[upbeat music]
♪
Thanks for watching
the kiddos today, tía.
Normally I wouldn't ask,
but I have this lunch thing.
This "small-business owner
of the year" lunch thing,
where you'll be awarded
a plaque by the mayor herself
and you get to give a speech.
- [groans]
- [laughs]
Yeah, public speaking
isn't really my jam.
Getting kind of sweaty
just thinking about it.
[sniffs]
You know, when she was
only four years old,
she stood up
in the middle of church,
and, loud as can be,
she announces she wasn't
wearing any--
And that's why
I don't speak in public.
Bye, pups.
Have fun.
♪
[laughs]
Ay, mi Elizabeth,
she forgets to eat
when she's nervous.
Time to prepare
the after-lunch lunch.
Nice place you got here,
Phil and Lil.
Want to show us around?
Sure. We'll give you
the extra-special tour.
For friends and family.
Lil, if you please
Over here,
we find the reading couch.
We sit here with our mommy
until she falls asleep.
all: Ooh.
And then we put her stuff
in here
so she can play treasure hunt.
all: Ah.
[gasps]
Is that original artwork?
Yep, it changes every day
and it magically
dis-repears every night.
all: Ooh. Ah.
Keep moving.
Lots more to see.
Presenting
- Lil and Phil's room.
- You got two of everything.
- Is that your crib, Phil?
Nope. That one.
Can't you tell?
- So that one's Lil's.
- Nope. We share.
The other's
for our stuffed "aminals."
- Who's this one, then?
- Oh, that's Lamby.
He's special. We "gotted" him
when we was born.
So we share he.
It works out perfect.
♪
[both laugh]
[groans]
Oops. That's okay.
We have more.
- [gasps]
- [laughs]
You do share everything.
I has to draw the line
at tostones.
[groans]
Have mine.
It hurts to bite.
Ay, ¿qué te pasa, mi'ja?
Tostones are your favorite.
Let tía see what's wrong.
[gasps]
A new tooth.
Big grown-up girl.
- Huh?
Let's get you a cold teether
to chew on, okay, corazón?
No new teeth here.
Still my little Phillipitito.
♪
Do you see anything?
Ooh, there's a huge tooth.
Oh, wait.
That's a Reptar puff.
Yeah, you got nothing.
Uh, sorry, Phil.
We all looked.
[groans] Why would Lil get
a tooth and not me?
We do everything
at the same time.
Just ask Wall Giraffe.
Maybe Lil was born first.
[gasps]
That's it.
I'm "olderer."
Oh, that explains everything,
like how I know more stuffs.
What are you talking
about, Lillian?
Oh, little Phillip,
when you're my age,
you'll understand.
We're the same.
We've always been together.
Then how come I a-member
a long time ago
when you
weren't "borneded" yet?
The just Lil days.
- [groans]
Oh, the world
was my rooster then.
Uh, Lil, there's something
you might want to see
in this book.
Pictures? Of me?
But I already seen
myself before.
Maybe you should look again.
What if I show you the story
of what your life would've been
if there never was a Phil?
Ah, any story without me
sounds boring,
unless it's got a pirate cave.
[gasps]
Ooh, that minds me.
There's a whole nother room
I didn't show you yet.
Come on.
[laughter]
♪
This is what
you wanted to show me?
Hot chocolate
and mush-mellow-lows.
Remember how you and Phil
always share the mush-mellows?
Yep. One for me.
One for--
Wait. Where's Phillip?
There is no Phil, just Lil.
What do you think of that?
One more for me.
I could get used to this
"no Phil" life.
[gasps]
My favorite.
Apple-y ladybugs.
Wait. What's these icky
brown things doing here?
Raisins. Those are the dots
on the ladybug.
Well, I don't like raisins.
That why Phil
always eats them for me,
even though he doesn't
like them either.
[gasps]
Oh.
That's right.
It was pretty nice
having Phil around, huh?
Eh, how bad can they be?
[camera shutter clicks]
Let's turn the page.
- Welcome to our secret cave.
- Oh.
It looks like
you come here a lot.
Yep.
Best room in the house.
If you look this way,
you'll see the kitchen.
[singing in Spanish]
- Was something here before?
- Yeah.
Something exactly my size
but with a bow.
- Well, we can always, um
- Put down some cozy pillows?
Oh, or more toys.
Ooh, I get the seesaw
all to myself.
This "no Phil" life
keeps getting "betterer"
and "betterer."
[groans]
[pants]
Hi, Tommy.
Hi, Chuckie.
We didn't know
you were at the park.
Sorry, Lil.
Why are Chuckie and Tommy
acting like that?
You'll see soon enough.
- [gasps]
- Please, it's all yours.
We know the rules.
- What are you talking about?
Hey!
No babies on the slide!
[both shout]
[laughs]
Not you, silly Lilly.
Go ahead.
[laughs]
Things are
kind of different, huh?
Uh-huh.
I get to go on the slide first,
and Angelica's nice to me?
[gasps] Whoa. This is even
"betterer" than I dreamed.
Ooh, and without Phillip,
I get all the sand toys
and the bucket.
Tommy, Chuckie, wait for me!
Sandbox with babies--
you're so funny.
What are we
playing next, Lilly?
Um, Susie,
she's still talking to me.
Why?
Well, without Phil,
you and Angelica
are "bestest" friends.
What? Not "postible,"
even in pretend life.
- Huh, huh?
- [gasps] Quackie.
"Bestest" friends
dress alike.
Say "ice cream
with sprinkles on top."
Ice cream
with sprinkles on top.
What Angelica said.
[camera shutter clicks]
All right, move it out.
Careful. Careful.
Little more that way.
- Oh!
- Watch the hoofs.
Yeah, Stripey will fill
that empty space.
Now, what else?
Aha.
Nope, not this one.
Definitely not.
Why do grown-ups always
take pictures of kids
with pa'sghetti on our heads.
I want to see Phil.
Show me Phil.
All right. Get ready.
Oh, there's Phil.
Oh, now everything's
the same as before.
I know.
He looks like Phil.
But nothing is the same.
Oh, Susie,
I think I know my own brother.
Phil, am I glad to see you.
- Huh?
Do I know you?
[chuckles]
That's not funny, Phillip.
My name isn't Phillip.
It's Willip.
Who are you?
- I'm your twin, remember?
We love all the same things--
mud, frogs, diapie waffles.
Here, try this.
- Ew, gross.
I'm not into diapie waffles
or sharing.
What about Lamby, huh?
Or "favoritest"
stuffed "aminal"
we "gotted" when we was born.
I never heard of anyone
named Lamby.
This is Oscar,
and he's all mine.
I'm pretty sure my mommy
would've told me
if I had a twin.
Your mommy is my mommy.
Where is she?
She'll know me.
Go ahead.
She's over there.
Let's go, Phil.
Uh, it's Will.
Well, hello, there, sweetie.
Wow.
You two could almost be twins.
[chuckles]
We got to go, buddy.
It's ice cream time,
and you're driving.
- Nice meeting you.
- Huh?
See you, uh, probably never.
You're leaving?
Well, can't you stay
and play with me?
Ah, we got nothing in common.
Ready, Will?
Phil and Mommy
are getting ice cream
and having fun without me.
♪
[gasps]
Where am I?
Where's Phil?
Is he there, too?
That's up to you.
I want Phil
in all the pictures.
[cries]
Please, Susie, take me back.
Take me back.
[crying]
Phil, it's me, Lil.
I'm not "bestest" friends
with Angelica,
and I don't want
two mush-mellow-lows,
and I don't like Oscar.
I like Lamby
'cause he's ours.
Here.
- Uh, okay.
Thanks.
Who's this Oscar?
They're doing fine.
Hey, pups.
Ooh, and Lillian has
a new tooth.
Is that?
Elizabeth,
Phillip has new hair.
He's growing up so fast.
- [laughs]
New hairs, huh?
You know what that means.
Say "hello"
to your older brother.
Well, back to the book.
Sit it down, Phil.
[eerie electronic music]
♪
All right, sprouts.
Tonight's dining experience
is out of this world.
Inspired by night 15 of the
cross-country motorcycle trip
I took my first year
out of college,
welcome
to Moonlight Burrito Night.
Randy, fair warning--
this burrito
just might change your life.
Hey, same goes
for my Galactiscope 9000.
It's so powerful,
you might even see
the other side of the moon.
Then this'll be a night
for the ages.
Grandpa, what's so special
about that side of the moon?
Isn't it just like this one?
We don't know, daffodil.
That's the mystery.
No one's ever seen it.
Well, according
to "Telescope Man," issue 625,
that side hides all the answers
of the universe.
All the answers
of the universe.
Ooh.
Thanks, Mr. Susie's Daddy.
That's the same issue
where he does battle
with zombie Galileo,
so you got to take it
with a grain of salt.
[chuckles]
Looks like Spike's doing battle
with your lawn right now.
Ah, he's fine.
We all get a free pass to act a
little funky under a full moon.
Now, watch and learn the magic
of the Moonlight Burrito.
Hey, Angelica,
why are you doing that?
Duh, hamster head!
I'm gonna hit the moon and
spin it to see the other side!
[toy squeaks]
- [Spike pants]
You're gonna need
a bigger squeaky toy.
Well, I'm not giving up,
'cause knowing
the answers of the universe
is gonna make me the most
powerful person in the world.
all: Huh?
- [groans]
It's like you were born
last weekend.
If you know it all,
you rule it all.
But couldn't you just
fly to the moon
and see it for yourself?
Or you babies
could fly me there.
I'll even let you have,
say, one moon answer apiece.
[gasps]
Seeing the moon up close
is good enough for me.
I'm gonna ask how much the
ocean is made out of fish spit.
I'm gonna ask
why bananas aren't sparkly.
What a missed oppor-toot-ity.
Well, what are you
waiting for?
Go pull the spaceship around
while I get my bags checkered.
Uh, are we sure
we want to help Angelica
find all the answers
of the universe?
Whoa!
[grunts]
She's already
pretty "powderful."
Normally, no,
but I've always wanted
to learn how to speak duck,
and I'm pretty sure
this is my only chance.
I call dibs on the best seat.
[grunts]
[grunts]
♪
[engines roar]
[device beeping]
How do you find
the Cynthia show on this thing?
- [gasps]
- Whoa.
That star dog looks
just like Spikey.
- [gasps]
- Phillip!
Your elbow is
on my side of the chair!
Nuh-uh, just looks like
'cause I gots bigger elbows.
- Bigger elbows over there.
- Hey!
You--
[alarm blares]
Phil, Lil,
watch where you're flying.
We're gonna get
smooshed into bits!
It's Phillip's elbow's fault.
Sure, blame it
on the big elbows, every time.
all: Whoa!
[indistinct shouting]
- Look out!
Incoming!
[Spike barks]
[Spike panting]
[all sigh]
- This isn't playtime.
We've got a mission
to complete.
Step on it, Phil and Lil.
Guys, let's really think
about this.
Is it so bad that the moon
is hiding all the answers?
Of course it's bad.
I'm Angelica Pickles.
Nobody hides answers from me.
I'm a-posed
to know everything.
But you don't know everything
about me.
I got lots of stuff
I never told any of you guys.
You've been keeping secrets
from us, Finster?
Spill them.
- What? No.
They're not secrets.
They're just stuffs
I never said
'cause--I don't know--
I never thought about it.
Well, I'll just make
the moon tell me everything
you ever thought
in your whole little life.
You're not being nice, Angelica.
Yeah.
Chuckie doesn't have to tell us
whatever he doesn't want to.
Fine. Fine.
I'll be in the lounge.
They better have mango juice
on this spaceship.
And, Phil and Lil,
for the sake
of all things moldy,
keep us on course.
Oh, man, that smells good.
Thanks, Lou.
- Ah, ah, ah.
The sacred art of perfecting
the Moonlight Burrito
calls for a sprinkle
of paprika
and then some pretty patterns--
happy little swirls.
Huh, a burrito comb.
That is a burrito-only comb, correct?
[wiper squeaking]
My rocket thrusters
are at full boost.
- [gasps]
- Hey, Finster!
I've been thinking, and
I'll give you one more chance.
Is there anything you want to
tell me before the moon does,
like secrets
you've been keeping about me?
Quit asking, Angelica.
Can't we just get our answers
from the moon and go home?
[scoffs]
Oh, Susie,
you didn't really think
I'd let any of you babies
get the answers, did you?
I'm sorry.
What, now?
Should've saw this coming.
If I'm gonna be the most
powerful person in the world,
I got to keep all the answers
to myself,
but I'll give you answers
for a cookie.
All of the babies
of the playground
will have to come to me
with their questions.
You know, we don't have
to fly this ship to the moon.
You "readed" my mind.
[device beeping]
And they'll all have
to pay me with a cookie.
One cookie for every answer.
[alarm blares]
[both gasp]
♪
[all screaming]
Mm. Hey, Lou, that burrito
looks delicious and done.
[acoustic guitar strums]
It's so close,
I can almost taste it.
Black bean sizzlin'
in the pale moonlight ♪
Makin' harmony
with the rice and cheese ♪
Don't tease me, Lou.
It's gonna be
a special night ♪
It's gonna be
a special night ♪
I said, black bean sizzlin'
in the ♪
[Spike groans contentedly]
♪
- [grunts]
- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Ooh!
That's it!
I should've expected less
of you babies.
Angelica,
where are you going?
Ha! I'd tell you,
but you know the deal.
No cookie, no answer.
[laughs]
♪
[babies scream]
[beeps]
Whoa.
Everyone okay?
Better than awful, I guess.
We got to stop Angelica.
Come on, Bottlestar, power up.
Wait a second.
Angelica said
the more you know,
the more power you have.
So, if I tell you the stuffs
I never told you,
maybe it'll give us more power?
I knew he'd be
the first to crack.
Um, I like tuna fish
better than peanut butter
and jelly combined.
[all gasp]
- Whoa.
I never "knowed" that.
My turn.
I buried a little dump truck
so I could grow
a dump-truck tree.
I can run faster
than my puppy Foster
when I pretend
I'm made of lightning.
I "inventeded" the color
called "greeple."
When I grow up,
I'm gonna be a woodchuck.
And I'm really good
at opening stuff--
snappy stuff, twisty stuff.
Can you open
this tubey cheese?
I been trying forever.
- I got it!
- Nice!
Tubey cheese for everyone!
No, I mean, I know how to
get us out of this space hole.
♪
Aw, that was perfectly good
tubey cheese.
Let it go, Phillip.
Let it go.
♪
Hey, dog star.
[sniffing]
[barks]
- Whoa.
- It worked.
- Spikey.
- Spike to the rescue.
- My tubey cheese.
[engine roars]
We're too far away.
Susie, pretend you're made
of lightning.
You got it.
- [laughs]
- Hey.
Fast, fast, fast.
Don't even think
about it, babies.
♪
- [gasps]
- Whoa!
[Tommy screams, all grunt]
You babies
should've thought twice
before you tried to stop me,
and a cookie's
not gonna cut it.
If you ever want an answer,
I want a whole birthday cake
with extra frosting
and two kinds of ice cream.
You can make us give you
all the treats in the world,
but we'll always know
the truth about you.
The truth will be what I say
it is, Susie Carmichael.
Now, telescope,
show me the other side.
Show me the answers
that'll give me
all the power of the universe.
[screams]
I've seen too much.
No wonder the moon
only shows its one side.
The universe can keep
its dumb answers.
I'll get my powers
some other way.
[chuckles]
Ah, a few more minutes
for reflection.
What?
Kidding.
Bon appétit.
[scarfs] Mmm.
Oh, I can taste
the song you sang
and the paprika
you combed over.
Ooh, I feel the moonlight.
Oh, the mystery.
Lou, how did you do that?
[moaning]
Happy
Moonlight Burrito Night,
my friend.
I wonder what answers
Angelica "learneded"
that made her
run away like that.
Maybe someday when we're
older, we'll know, or not.
I think there's lots of stuff
in the universe
that we'll just
never understand.
- I'm looking at it right now.
- Huh?
Spike saved us
some tubey cheese.
You know you want some.
♪
Klasky Csupo.