Schmigadoon! (2021) s02e02 Episode Script
Doorway to Where
1
[UPBEAT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING]
["WELCOME TO SCHMICAGO" PLAYING]
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
Josh is rotting in jail ♪
For the death of Elsie Vale ♪
Oh, Josh, why did you do it? ♪
I I didn't. Aren't you omniscient?
Am I? Who knows?
You. [STAMMERS]
Anyway, Melissa's getting
me a lawyer. I'll be fine.
[CHUCKLES] No, you're
destined to rue it ♪
When they send you to the chair ♪
Schmiga-dee-death penalty ♪
[CHUCKLES] Come on. [CHUCKLING]
How often do they use the chair here?
- [ELECTRICITY PULSATING]
- [PRISONER SCREAMING]
Okay [SIGHS]
maybe once in a while.
- [ELECTRICITY PULSATING]
- [PRISONER SCREAMING]
But even in the darkest
depths of despair,
suddenly there appears, in such
surprising guise, an unexpected friend.
- [GRUNTS]
- [JOSH] Friend? What do you mean?
- [JAIL DOOR CLOSES]
- [RIVERA] Keep walking.
- [RIVERA] In here, punk.
- For what?
[RIVERA] Disorderly
conduct, unlawful assembly,
and peddling parables
with no clear takeaways.
I was just spreading joy, man.
Looks like you could use a little.
- Save it for your salad, you freak.
- Oh.
You kids with your
ideals and your protest,
and your determination
to live your dreams.
Peace and love, peace and love.
How about "shut" and "up"?
I love you, Sergeant Rivera.
Anger is just sadness
that can't get out.
See you in hell.
- Hey, man.
- Oh, you gotta be kidding me.
I'm Topher. Peace.
Hi [SIGHS] I'm Josh.
- What are you in for, Josh?
- Murder. But I didn't do it. I'm innocent.
Don't worry. I believe you.
Thanks. I appreciate it.
Hey! Me too! I'm innocent too.
- I believe you.
- And I didn't rob that bank.
[TOPHER] I believe you.
- Yeah, and I never touched that girl.
- I believe you too, Conrad.
- Of course you Yep.
- [TOPHER] I believe all of you.
I think you all should be free.
- [PRISONERS CHEERING, CLAMORING]
- Great.
- [SIGHS]
- I know the situation looks bleak, Josh.
But don't despair.
You probably got it
better than you think.
I mean, look at me.
I'm 30 years old and still haven't
figured out my purpose in life.
- [PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
- [GASPS] Oh, this about you now?
I always felt that I
was special, you know.
That I was destined
to do something great.
I just don't know what
that something is yet.
This life is like a puzzle ♪
You gotta find that missing piece ♪
And the man who does will
find his happiness increase ♪
Poets sing of starlight ♪
Kittens play with string ♪
Why does it seem ♪
I'll never find my thing? ♪
- Squirrels find nuts in the forest ♪
- Oh. Okay.
Robins fly high in the air ♪
What am I supposed to be? ♪
Who is this guy called me? ♪
When will I see ♪
My doorway to where? ♪
Your doorway to where?
Starfish have the ocean ♪
And all our socks go in a drawer ♪
All I've got's this notion that
I'm meant for something more ♪
Corks belong in bottles ♪
Spiders eat their young ♪
My life's a song that's
waiting to be sung ♪
- Camels make love in the desert ♪
- Don't do that.
A table works best with a chair ♪
What am I supposed to be? ♪
Who is this guy called me? ♪
When will I see ♪
My doorway to where? ♪
My doorway to where ♪
My doorway to where ♪
- [SIGHS]
- Uh.
[BREATHES HEAVILY]
Um. Hey, man, it's gonna be okay.
You're young.
You've got [STAMMERS]
hair, like, so much hair.
You just have to be patient.
Also, you a rich white
boy. [CHUCKLES] Ya fine.
Thanks, man. You know what?
I am gonna make it my personal mission
to get you on the happiness bus.
- The happiness bus?
- Mm-hmm.
- Hap Is that Is that a clue?
- Mmm.
Uh, N-Narrator?
- It's the grooviest.
- [STAMMERS]
All you need to get on board is love.
- [ELECTRICITY PULSATING]
- [PRISONER SCREAMING]
No, what I need is a lawyer.
Excuse me. I'm looking for Mr. Flanagan.
Please. Mr. Flanagan is my father.
After he lost his medical license.
Call me Bobby.
Right, yeah. Duh. I'm sorry about that.
But also, yes, okay, lady lawyer.
- Being a lady lawyer is no big deal.
- Oh, no, yes.
I-I [SIGHS] I agree. I'm a doctor.
It's not like we expect to be
judges. We're not crazy! [CHUCKLES]
Except right before our monthlies.
Oh. There it is.
Yeah, I was just hoping you
could help my husband, Josh.
Who's in jail for killing
Elsie Vale, the showgirl.
Nothing happens in
Schmicago without me knowing.
And then nothing happens
till I get my retainer,
and I'm the most
expensive lawyer in town.
You think you could
scrape together a sawbuck?
I don't know what that is, but I
I went to the ATM before we left.
So here's a 20.
Well, well, Mrs. Moneybags.
You just bought yourself
some eye contact.
Great. So
[UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
You probably wanna know more about me.
Well, what is there to
tell? It's the classic story.
I got my BA from BU, my LLD from
NYU, and my L-E-Gs from G-O-D.
Law school was a world full of
''No!'' No, no, no, no, no, no!
But after a while, I caught on.
You see, the world
kept telling me, "no."
But turns out "no"
doesn't always mean "no."
Ooh, uncomfortable with that.
[STAMMERS] But you've had
success with cases like Josh's?
Bobby doesn't dwell on the past.
Bobby stays in the present
tense. Third person.
[MUSIC ENDS]
So, here's what we're gonna do.
First, we court the press.
Then I press the court.
Believe me. Once I've worked my magic,
no jury will ever convict your hubby,
even if he kills again.
[STAMMERS] And just to be
clear, Josh didn't do it.
Uh-huh. Well, if you're
so sure about that,
why don't you help him by
finding the real killer?
Me? How?
I'd recommend the standard play.
Get a job dancing at the
club where Elsie was killed.
Snoop around. See what you can find out.
That's the standard play?
The auditions for the open
slot are today at noon.
What are you, an
eleven-and-a-half character shoe?
Oh, I'm so Confession.
I'm not much of a dancer.
In theater camp, I was
more of a double threat.
Here.
I'm off to meet my new client
and bamboozle the press.
Break a leg at that
audition, Twinkle Toes.
Your hubby's life may depend on it.
[DANCERS CHATTERING]
You've all got big
dreams, hungry for fame.
I can feel the heat of it coming
off of you like baked hams.
But fame will cost you
sweat, dignity, even cash.
Oh, no, I don't take
checks, so don't ask me.
- [PIANO PLAYING]
- [FRAU] We are looking for a dancer
as good as Elsie was before she died.
So don't hold back.
Let's do the whole combination,
facing away from the wall.
Fünf, sechs, sieben, acht!
Again! Fünf, sechs, sieben, acht!
I need to eat I need to eat ♪
Last night my dinner was a candle ♪
Last night my dinner was a candle ♪
The landlord's calling ♪
I'm out of fishnets ♪
There's not much more that I can handle ♪
There's not much more that I can ♪
How am I gonna feed my kids? ♪
Why did I have so many kids? ♪
I think I'm gonna
have to sell my kids ♪
Sorry, I'm late.
[PANTS] Hi, everybody.
Eins, zwei, drei, vier, fünf, sechs!
Oh, wow. You guys are all so
thin and elegant and angular.
I feel like a wildebeest next to you.
Who is this girl? She's really bad ♪
- Hey!
- She oughta be way in the back ♪
- She oughta be way in the ♪
- Okay, I can hear you.
This girl has got no sense of space ♪
And does a weird thing with her face ♪
She pops her head ♪
And she's got bad feet ♪
[FRAU] All right, so you can dance.
Some of you. But that is not enough.
I want to know why you are here.
I guess it all started when my
parents' marriage fell apart.
The marriage counselor's office
was next to a dance studio.
I used to sneak in there and
stomp around to drown out the sound
of Mother and Daddy fighting over
whose life was more disappointing.
The next thing I knew,
I was pointing my feet.
And falling in love with guys that
[SIGHS] didn't want me that way.
[STICK BANGS]
Dad was in the military.
You know, the type with a whistle.
He used to force my brothers, sisters,
and me to perform for
guests at dinner parties.
God, I hated when he did that.
So, this one night, I begged
him for a taste of champagne.
He said, "no," but I didn't
let that stop me. Oh, no.
He had a girlfriend, real fancy.
She had some kind of
royal title. I kid you not.
Later that night, she gave
me the whole damn bottle.
That's when I started class.
[STICK BANGS]
Why am I here?
I grew up in Buffalo
and went through puberty.
That's it.
Puberty. Buffalo.
[STICK BANGS]
Oh, wow.
Uh, you guys have been through so much.
[STAMMERS] I feel bad, even competing
or assuming your lives are better
because you're so thin and beautiful.
But, uh, maybe
I am a doctor ♪
And a doctor doctors ♪
I'm proud to be called an MD ♪
But every time I deliver a baby ♪
I wonder when that'll be me ♪
Even when I perform to perfection ♪
Shoulder dystocia ♪
Emergency C-section ♪
The days can be pretty rough ♪
And I feel like I'll
never ever be enough ♪
[INHALES SHARPLY] So this size 12 ♪
Would love the chance to shine ♪
And also clear my husband of murder ♪
Enough talk! Now dance for your life!
[UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING]
[DANCER 1 YELPS]
[DANCER 2 GRUNTS]
[DANCER 3 GRUNTS]
I need to eat tonight ♪
Not work the street tonight ♪
I need to eat tonight ♪
- Oh, wait. We're doing that. [MUMBLES]
- [JAZZ NOTE REPEATS]
[UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC STOPS]
I have made my decision.
Your stories are most compelling,
but I must hire the best dancer.
[OCTAVIUS CLEARS THROAT]
One second.
That was pretty intense, huh? [WHEEZES]
You're kidding. Really? Are you sure?
- Did you see her?
- You heard Uncle Octavius.
[CLEARS THROAT] Mr. Kratt. Do it.
[SIGHS]
[SIGHS] You. You've got the job.
Whoa. Wow.
Um, I Okay. Uh,
well, I just wanna say
it is really been a true privilege
- to dance with all of Yeah.
- [SIGHS] Shut it.
One of those things.
Only one spot, you know. [MUTTERS]
[PRISONERS CHATTERING]
[TOPHER] To be honest, hair
like this, it's a burden.
Gets caught in trees.
You have to worry about fleas.
- Gets messed up by the breeze.
- [GROANS, SIGHS]
[UPBEAT ORCHESTRA MUSIC PLAYS]
Here comes Bobby ♪
Who?
Here comes Bobby now ♪
- Hello, boys.
- [PRISONERS WHISTLING, CHEERING]
Here comes Bobby ♪
Bobby, baby ♪
Wowzah wowzah wow ♪
[BOBBY] Is everybody here?
- Is everybody happy?
- [PRISONER] Oh, yeah!
Help us, Bobby ♪
Help us, Bobby, please ♪
Help us, Bobby ♪
Get us off on technicalities ♪
Not now, fellas.
Much as I'd like to give you the time,
I simply cannot handle your appeal.
Whoa.
Bobby ♪
Wowzah wowzah wow! ♪
[PRISONERS WHISTLING, CHEERING]
Bobby Flanagan, Attorney at Law.
Your mistress hired me. Tall
brunette. Kind of "complain-y."
[GASPS] That's my wife.
So [SIGHS] do-do you
think you can get me out of here?
I don't know. But I'm
gonna get paid trying.
First things first, don't tell me
why you did it. I don't need to know.
- Oh, I didn't do it.
- Don't need to know that either.
Just do what I tell you.
Winning a case is all about
flimflam, flapdoodle, and pizzazz.
- Flapdoodle?
- Mmm.
The law is 10% precedent and 90% wow.
- Lucky for you, I'm very good at wow.
- Huh.
Your press conference starts
in an hour. I'll see you then.
In an hour? Wa-Wait
Press conference? [STAMMERS] But
Help us, Bobby ♪
Help us, Bobby, please ♪
Help us, Bobby ♪
Get us off on technicalities ♪
I'm working on it,
boys. I'm working on it.
Bobby! ♪
But
- [ELECTRICITY PULSATING]
- [PRISONER SCREAMING]
I mean, I was surprised
when you said it was me,
but I must have something,
right? [CHUCKLES]
- Sure.
- Ooh. What's behind this door?
Off-limits. Dead girl schmutz.
Rehearsal in one hour.
Don't shave anything.
- Here's some rouge for your knees.
- My knees?
- You think they need contour?
- [CHUCKLES]
Oh.
Oh, Melissa. Thank heavens.
I have been so worried.
I heard about Josh,
and I want you to know that I
don't believe a single word of it!
My chum Josh couldn't have killed
Elsie! He's too, too divine!
And I'm never wrong about people.
Thank you.
And now you're gonna
be working at the club!
Oh, I can't wait to
take you under my wing
and teach you absolutely
everything that I know!
Oh, no. Jenny, you
don't have to do that.
No, I insist.
I just hope you won't let
stardom go to your head too fast.
Oh, no, stop. And who are you again?
[CHUCKLES] Oh, Melissa,
you are such a panic!
- I mean
- Oh, it's gonna be absolutely marvelous
having you around! [GASPS] In
fact, you should be my roommate.
Oh, really? Wait, you mean
Well, poor old Elsie isn't
using her bedroom anymore
now that she's dead. And
I'm so easy to live with.
I dash all day, and I
dash even more at night.
Yeah, it could be useful
for me to be there.
I mean [STAMMERS] for
you to teach me and everything.
[INHALES SHARPLY] And, you know, maybe
you could tell me more about Elsie
and who may have wanted to kill her.
I'm sure we have much more
interesting things to discuss
other than some
gruesome unsolved murder.
[GASPS] So it's decided.
You'll move in, and we
will have nothing but fun.
And bad things will
never happen ever again.
Does anyone have two cigarettes?
My roommate, Melissa, and
I are simply desperate.
Oh, no. I'm actually
fine. I don't smoke, so
Okay. Wow. That actually
looks incredible.
I don't think I can
go through with this.
Of course you can. Just
stick to the script, kid.
Gentlemen and gentlemen of the press,
you all know me, Bobby
Flanagan, Attorney at Law.
- [JOURNALIST] Mm-hmm, sure do.
- [CHUCKLING] Oh, stop.
I'm here with my client, the
accused murderer, Josh Skinner.
The question is not, "Did Josh
Skinner brutally murder Elsie Vale?"
- It's not?
- The real question is,
"What drove him to it?"
My client will now read
from a prepared statement.
Oh. Yep. Mmm.
"Elsie Vale did not deserve to die.
But now she is dead,
and I am in jail. Why?
This tragedy and my part in it
can only be blamed on one thing.
- Jazz."
- [CROWD GASPS]
I knew it.
Jazz is to blame again.
- [SPECTATOR] Devil's music.
- Aw, man.
"This was an ugly crime of passion
brought about by shameless
music mixed with liquor"?
Jazz and booze. [SNIFFLES]
They go together every time!
I'll drink to that! [CHUCKLES]
"I am so ashamed that I
let jazz infect my soul."
[SCOFFS] "I'm sorry for what I did,
and I will never again listen
to such evil, improvisatory,
harmonically complex "
- " melodies, such as"
- Hmm. Yeah.
- Why'd you stop? Keep going.
- [JOSH] I can't do this.
I can't stand here and say I
murdered somebody because of jazz.
I mean, I-I pretend to like
jazz like everybody else.
But come on, jazz did
not kill Elsie Vale.
- [CROWD GASPS]
- Right on.
My client is delirious.
Stand back, everyone. His case
of jazz is worse than we thought.
- So you're not sorry for what you did?
- No, of course not. I didn't do anything.
Killer says he's not sorry!
- How is there already a paper?
- Would you do it again?
Would I not kill her again? Yes.
- Killer says he'll do it again!
- How is he
Gentlemen, please, let
me confer with my client.
- It's okay, Bobby. We got enough.
- To send him to the chair.
[CHUCKLING]
Wait, wait. Uh, co-come to think of it,
uh, may maybe maybe it was jazz.
- Come on. Let's go.
- [SCATTING]
- The last rites?
- I'll call ya.
[JAIL DOOR OPENS]
[MELISSA] Josh? Josh!
- Mel! Over here!
- Josh!
- Hey! I have great news. [CHUCKLING]
- Oh, God. Thank God. Yes.
- I got the job.
- [STAMMERS] What job?
I'm the new dancer at the club.
Yeah, somehow, I guess
I nailed the audition.
- [PRISONER] Hey, that's great.
- [SCOFFS]
- Oh. Wow. Okay. Well, thank you.
- Wow.
This is nice.
I am really happy that you
nailed the audition, uh, sweetie.
But I'm also just a little concerned
that I'm going to be executed
- for a murder I didn't commit.
- Yes. Right. F Elsie.
- And you being framed. I know.
- Yeah.
I'm so sorry. I think I just
I got caught up in the the
glitz and the glamour of it all.
- But, hey, listen, I only did all this
- That's okay.
so I could find evidence
to get you out of here.
It's the standard play.
Thank you, sweetie.
- I really appreciate that.
- I got Yeah.
- [SIGHS]
- Wow. That was really beautiful.
- This is Topher.
- Wow.
Um [STAMMERS]
nice to meet you, Topher.
- You look groovy.
- [TOPHER] Thanks.
- Man, I wish I had what you guys have.
- [SIGHS]
- [PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
- [SCOFFS]
[TOPHER] I keep searching.
- This is not about you, Topher.
- [PIANO MUSIC ENDS]
Right. Sorry. [CHUCKLES]
Uh, well, so how was
the press conference?
Not great. I went off script,
and now everyone wants me dead.
- Oh, Josh.
- Do you
Do you think I could
actually die in here?
Definitely. That's what makes
this all so entertaining.
- [CHUCKLES]
- [JOSH] Entertaining? I
You know what? Just ignore
him, and maybe he'll go away.
You don't know me.
- [MELISSA SCOFFS]
- [JOSH] You missed.
- [NARRATOR] On purpose.
- Hey. Hey, listen to me.
We can get you out of here
because I'm on the case.
I didn't just get Elsie's old
job. I moved into her apartment.
So I can dig up clues
and find out who the real killer
is and prove that you are innocent.
- You really think so?
- I know so.
We're getting you out of here,
and we're gonna get that happy
ending, whatever that means.
- [SIGHS] I love you. [CHUCKLES]
- I love you, too.
[TOPHER] Man.
- [GASPS]
- [SIGHS]
Look at you two.
[PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
Maybe someday I'll find
what I'm searching for.
- This is not about you, Topher.
- [PIANO MUSIC ENDS]
Well, here it is. Our
oh-so-decadent den of iniquity.
Isn't it just divine?
I mean, this would be 1.8 in Park Slope.
Well, you packed light.
You know what? Feel free to
take any of Elsie's old frocks.
She's definitely not using them.
Oh, I don't think anything would fit me.
Sizes seem to run a little small here.
'Course it would. Everything
here has tons of stretch.
- Wow. Look at all those flowers.
- [SNIFFS]
You must have so many admirers.
Oh, no. These are all
from Mr. Kratt. [GIGGLES]
He owns the club and practically
everything else in Schmicago. [CHUCKLES]
Yeah. Yeah, I met him.
[EXCLAIMS] Isn't he a dear?
I guess you could say
that we've been comforting
each other ever since Elsie.
She was his favorite, you
know. But now it seems I am.
- [CHUCKLES] Oh. [LAUGHS]
- [CHUCKLING]
I mean, but are you
sure that's a good idea?
Just might be a little fast, and,
you know, he's your boss, so
We have to seize happiness
every chance we get, Melissa.
The world could end tomorrow.
Besides, Mr. Kratt has
promised to make me a big star,
which is all I've ever wanted
to be. [INHALES SHARPLY]
- [KNOCKS ON DOOR]
- It's open!
[DOOR OPENS]
[SIGHS] Ladies.
Mr. Kratt expects you
for dinner in 20 minutes.
He wants you to wear this.
[SQUEALS, GIGGLES]
- Oh, my God.
- And more flowers?
He's turning me into a
bona fide botanist. [LAUGHS]
I won't be a moment.
I'll do a quick change.
- [SIGHS]
- [INHALES DEEPLY]
Sure. Yes.
Why don't I just take those?
I hope you realize how fortunate you are
to be performing at the club tonight.
Not everyone that wants
to gets the chance.
Hmm. Yeah, I bet.
I mean, of course. [SIGHS] God,
everyone's gonna miss Elsie so much.
Yes. I've seen you dance.
No, no. I just It's It's
sad what happened to her. [SIGHS]
Did you know her well?
- Why do you ask?
- [CHUCKLES] I'm just curious.
If you want to be happy here
in Schmicago, take my advice.
Don't stick your pretty little
nose where it doesn't belong.
You don't want to end
up like your husband.
Ready.
I'm sure we'll be seeing more of you.
Yeah. Have fun.
Melissa, about Mr. Kratt.
I know that I may seem like a silly
girl who does stupid, silly things.
Oh, n Jenny. No,
no, no. That's not my
And I know that Mr. Kratt
and I are an odd item,
but I'm just doing what I need
to do to survive. Like all of us.
Toodles!
Okay, clues. Clues.
Looking for clues. Hmm.
Okay. I wonder if this is a clue.
Oh, maybe I should try it on.
Do-do-de-doot ♪
Do-do-de-doot ♪
Doo-doo-doot de-doot doot! ♪
When we met you
promised me the stars ♪
But now your love feels
more like prison bars ♪
Somehow I'm doing time ♪
Convicted of no crime ♪
So before you get ♪
To handing out cigars ♪
I'm bustin' out ♪
Buh-buh-buh-buh bustin' out ♪
Buh-baby, I'll do without ♪
All of those chains that bound me ♪
All those years that
you controlled me ♪
Now there's no way you can hold me ♪
Sorry, dear, there's no preventing ♪
Me from leaving your San Quentin ♪
- [CAR APPROACHES]
- [CLANGS]
What's that?
- They're here.
- [CAR TIRES SQUEAL]
- Whoa!
- Come on, Topher! Let's roll!
- Ah, man, I knew you guys would show up.
- What?
[CAR HORN BEEPS]
So, Josh, are you ready to
get on the happiness bus?
It's literal? I thought
that was a metaphor.
No, it's real, man. And there's
a seat waiting just for you.
I don't know. I don't know if I should.
Although, it's the happiness
bus. And the Leprechaun said
- [SIREN WAILING]
- We gotta go, man. The fuzz are coming!
Bustin' out ♪
Buh-buh-buh-buh bustin' out ♪
Buh-baby, now there's no doubt ♪
I'm not gonna let you hound me ♪
Once a life alone was scary ♪
But I can't wait for solitary ♪
Need a love with more pizzazz ♪
I'm tired of this Alcatraz ♪
Come on, Josh.
Do you really want to put your
faith in a corrupt legal system?
Um. I
Think about your life, Josh. The
happiness bus is calling your name.
- Josh, Josh, Josh.
- Josh, Josh.
[PRISONERS] Josh, Josh,
Josh! Josh, Josh, Josh!
Do-do-de-doot ♪
Do-do-de-doot ♪
- Doo-doo ♪
- Doo-doo ♪
Doo ♪
Bustin' out ♪
Buh-buh-buh-buh bustin' out ♪
Buh-baby, it's time to shout ♪
I'm done with these walls around me ♪
Made me think you were my savior ♪
But now I'm out on bad behavior ♪
I'll go any place on Earth ♪
Just to escape your Leavenworth ♪
- I'm bustin' out ♪
- Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh
- Buh-buh-buh-buh bustin' out ♪
- All right. Let's do this!
- Buh-baby, it's time to flout ♪
- [CHEERING] Come on!
The finger 'round which you wound me ♪
I'm so sick of all your gripes ♪
You know I don't
look good in stripes ♪
I'm bustin', bustin' out! ♪
There's no glamour in the
slammer so I'm bustin' out! ♪
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING, CHEERING]
Oh. [CHUCKLES]
[APPLAUSE CONTINUES]
Wow. [CHUCKLES]
You were wonderful,
darling. They adored you.
- I could feel it. Like, that was amazing.
- Mmm.
You really think they loved it?
Oh, loved it? They gagged.
They gasped. They glowed.
- [PERFORMERS GIGGLING]
- You. Gimble. Come with me.
- Oh, okay.
- Ooh.
I wasn't sure. But you can't
argue with an ovation like that.
From now on, you change in here.
The body is gone and most of the blood.
Welcome to show business.
Ah.
Did the police take any other evidence?
What for? They already
caught the killer.
Make yourself at home.
[CHOCOLATES RATTLING]
[MELISSA] Mmm.
You coming back to the party, roomie?
[CHUCKLES] You know it. [CHUCKLES]
Hey, does the address "17 Quick
Street" mean anything to you?
No, why?
Oh, no reason.
I would stay away from Quick
Street if I were you, darling.
It's not a safe place for
young fawns like us to slum in.
Not us young fawns.
- Come.
- [CHUCKLES]
[SIREN WAILING]
Speak of the devil.
Sounds like another
wild night in Schmicago.
Well, at least I know
Josh is safe. [CHUCKLES]
- [CAR HORN BEEPS]
- When will I see ♪
My doorway to where ♪
Do-do-de-doot ♪
Do-do-de-doot ♪
- Doo-doo ♪
- Doo-doo ♪
Doo ♪
Bustin' out ♪
Buh-buh-buh-buh bustin' out ♪
Buh-baby, it's time to shout ♪
I'm done with these walls around me ♪
Made me think you were my savior ♪
But now I'm out on bad behavior ♪
I'll go any place on Earth ♪
Just to escape your Leavenworth ♪
I'm bustin' out ♪
Buh-buh-buh-buh bustin' out ♪
Buh-baby, it's time to flout ♪
The finger 'round which you wound me ♪
I'm so sick of all your gripes ♪
You know I don't
look good in stripes ♪
I'm bustin', bustin' out! ♪
There's no glamour in the slammer ♪
So I'm bustin' out! ♪
[UPBEAT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING]
["WELCOME TO SCHMICAGO" PLAYING]
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
Josh is rotting in jail ♪
For the death of Elsie Vale ♪
Oh, Josh, why did you do it? ♪
I I didn't. Aren't you omniscient?
Am I? Who knows?
You. [STAMMERS]
Anyway, Melissa's getting
me a lawyer. I'll be fine.
[CHUCKLES] No, you're
destined to rue it ♪
When they send you to the chair ♪
Schmiga-dee-death penalty ♪
[CHUCKLES] Come on. [CHUCKLING]
How often do they use the chair here?
- [ELECTRICITY PULSATING]
- [PRISONER SCREAMING]
Okay [SIGHS]
maybe once in a while.
- [ELECTRICITY PULSATING]
- [PRISONER SCREAMING]
But even in the darkest
depths of despair,
suddenly there appears, in such
surprising guise, an unexpected friend.
- [GRUNTS]
- [JOSH] Friend? What do you mean?
- [JAIL DOOR CLOSES]
- [RIVERA] Keep walking.
- [RIVERA] In here, punk.
- For what?
[RIVERA] Disorderly
conduct, unlawful assembly,
and peddling parables
with no clear takeaways.
I was just spreading joy, man.
Looks like you could use a little.
- Save it for your salad, you freak.
- Oh.
You kids with your
ideals and your protest,
and your determination
to live your dreams.
Peace and love, peace and love.
How about "shut" and "up"?
I love you, Sergeant Rivera.
Anger is just sadness
that can't get out.
See you in hell.
- Hey, man.
- Oh, you gotta be kidding me.
I'm Topher. Peace.
Hi [SIGHS] I'm Josh.
- What are you in for, Josh?
- Murder. But I didn't do it. I'm innocent.
Don't worry. I believe you.
Thanks. I appreciate it.
Hey! Me too! I'm innocent too.
- I believe you.
- And I didn't rob that bank.
[TOPHER] I believe you.
- Yeah, and I never touched that girl.
- I believe you too, Conrad.
- Of course you Yep.
- [TOPHER] I believe all of you.
I think you all should be free.
- [PRISONERS CHEERING, CLAMORING]
- Great.
- [SIGHS]
- I know the situation looks bleak, Josh.
But don't despair.
You probably got it
better than you think.
I mean, look at me.
I'm 30 years old and still haven't
figured out my purpose in life.
- [PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
- [GASPS] Oh, this about you now?
I always felt that I
was special, you know.
That I was destined
to do something great.
I just don't know what
that something is yet.
This life is like a puzzle ♪
You gotta find that missing piece ♪
And the man who does will
find his happiness increase ♪
Poets sing of starlight ♪
Kittens play with string ♪
Why does it seem ♪
I'll never find my thing? ♪
- Squirrels find nuts in the forest ♪
- Oh. Okay.
Robins fly high in the air ♪
What am I supposed to be? ♪
Who is this guy called me? ♪
When will I see ♪
My doorway to where? ♪
Your doorway to where?
Starfish have the ocean ♪
And all our socks go in a drawer ♪
All I've got's this notion that
I'm meant for something more ♪
Corks belong in bottles ♪
Spiders eat their young ♪
My life's a song that's
waiting to be sung ♪
- Camels make love in the desert ♪
- Don't do that.
A table works best with a chair ♪
What am I supposed to be? ♪
Who is this guy called me? ♪
When will I see ♪
My doorway to where? ♪
My doorway to where ♪
My doorway to where ♪
- [SIGHS]
- Uh.
[BREATHES HEAVILY]
Um. Hey, man, it's gonna be okay.
You're young.
You've got [STAMMERS]
hair, like, so much hair.
You just have to be patient.
Also, you a rich white
boy. [CHUCKLES] Ya fine.
Thanks, man. You know what?
I am gonna make it my personal mission
to get you on the happiness bus.
- The happiness bus?
- Mm-hmm.
- Hap Is that Is that a clue?
- Mmm.
Uh, N-Narrator?
- It's the grooviest.
- [STAMMERS]
All you need to get on board is love.
- [ELECTRICITY PULSATING]
- [PRISONER SCREAMING]
No, what I need is a lawyer.
Excuse me. I'm looking for Mr. Flanagan.
Please. Mr. Flanagan is my father.
After he lost his medical license.
Call me Bobby.
Right, yeah. Duh. I'm sorry about that.
But also, yes, okay, lady lawyer.
- Being a lady lawyer is no big deal.
- Oh, no, yes.
I-I [SIGHS] I agree. I'm a doctor.
It's not like we expect to be
judges. We're not crazy! [CHUCKLES]
Except right before our monthlies.
Oh. There it is.
Yeah, I was just hoping you
could help my husband, Josh.
Who's in jail for killing
Elsie Vale, the showgirl.
Nothing happens in
Schmicago without me knowing.
And then nothing happens
till I get my retainer,
and I'm the most
expensive lawyer in town.
You think you could
scrape together a sawbuck?
I don't know what that is, but I
I went to the ATM before we left.
So here's a 20.
Well, well, Mrs. Moneybags.
You just bought yourself
some eye contact.
Great. So
[UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
You probably wanna know more about me.
Well, what is there to
tell? It's the classic story.
I got my BA from BU, my LLD from
NYU, and my L-E-Gs from G-O-D.
Law school was a world full of
''No!'' No, no, no, no, no, no!
But after a while, I caught on.
You see, the world
kept telling me, "no."
But turns out "no"
doesn't always mean "no."
Ooh, uncomfortable with that.
[STAMMERS] But you've had
success with cases like Josh's?
Bobby doesn't dwell on the past.
Bobby stays in the present
tense. Third person.
[MUSIC ENDS]
So, here's what we're gonna do.
First, we court the press.
Then I press the court.
Believe me. Once I've worked my magic,
no jury will ever convict your hubby,
even if he kills again.
[STAMMERS] And just to be
clear, Josh didn't do it.
Uh-huh. Well, if you're
so sure about that,
why don't you help him by
finding the real killer?
Me? How?
I'd recommend the standard play.
Get a job dancing at the
club where Elsie was killed.
Snoop around. See what you can find out.
That's the standard play?
The auditions for the open
slot are today at noon.
What are you, an
eleven-and-a-half character shoe?
Oh, I'm so Confession.
I'm not much of a dancer.
In theater camp, I was
more of a double threat.
Here.
I'm off to meet my new client
and bamboozle the press.
Break a leg at that
audition, Twinkle Toes.
Your hubby's life may depend on it.
[DANCERS CHATTERING]
You've all got big
dreams, hungry for fame.
I can feel the heat of it coming
off of you like baked hams.
But fame will cost you
sweat, dignity, even cash.
Oh, no, I don't take
checks, so don't ask me.
- [PIANO PLAYING]
- [FRAU] We are looking for a dancer
as good as Elsie was before she died.
So don't hold back.
Let's do the whole combination,
facing away from the wall.
Fünf, sechs, sieben, acht!
Again! Fünf, sechs, sieben, acht!
I need to eat I need to eat ♪
Last night my dinner was a candle ♪
Last night my dinner was a candle ♪
The landlord's calling ♪
I'm out of fishnets ♪
There's not much more that I can handle ♪
There's not much more that I can ♪
How am I gonna feed my kids? ♪
Why did I have so many kids? ♪
I think I'm gonna
have to sell my kids ♪
Sorry, I'm late.
[PANTS] Hi, everybody.
Eins, zwei, drei, vier, fünf, sechs!
Oh, wow. You guys are all so
thin and elegant and angular.
I feel like a wildebeest next to you.
Who is this girl? She's really bad ♪
- Hey!
- She oughta be way in the back ♪
- She oughta be way in the ♪
- Okay, I can hear you.
This girl has got no sense of space ♪
And does a weird thing with her face ♪
She pops her head ♪
And she's got bad feet ♪
[FRAU] All right, so you can dance.
Some of you. But that is not enough.
I want to know why you are here.
I guess it all started when my
parents' marriage fell apart.
The marriage counselor's office
was next to a dance studio.
I used to sneak in there and
stomp around to drown out the sound
of Mother and Daddy fighting over
whose life was more disappointing.
The next thing I knew,
I was pointing my feet.
And falling in love with guys that
[SIGHS] didn't want me that way.
[STICK BANGS]
Dad was in the military.
You know, the type with a whistle.
He used to force my brothers, sisters,
and me to perform for
guests at dinner parties.
God, I hated when he did that.
So, this one night, I begged
him for a taste of champagne.
He said, "no," but I didn't
let that stop me. Oh, no.
He had a girlfriend, real fancy.
She had some kind of
royal title. I kid you not.
Later that night, she gave
me the whole damn bottle.
That's when I started class.
[STICK BANGS]
Why am I here?
I grew up in Buffalo
and went through puberty.
That's it.
Puberty. Buffalo.
[STICK BANGS]
Oh, wow.
Uh, you guys have been through so much.
[STAMMERS] I feel bad, even competing
or assuming your lives are better
because you're so thin and beautiful.
But, uh, maybe
I am a doctor ♪
And a doctor doctors ♪
I'm proud to be called an MD ♪
But every time I deliver a baby ♪
I wonder when that'll be me ♪
Even when I perform to perfection ♪
Shoulder dystocia ♪
Emergency C-section ♪
The days can be pretty rough ♪
And I feel like I'll
never ever be enough ♪
[INHALES SHARPLY] So this size 12 ♪
Would love the chance to shine ♪
And also clear my husband of murder ♪
Enough talk! Now dance for your life!
[UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING]
[DANCER 1 YELPS]
[DANCER 2 GRUNTS]
[DANCER 3 GRUNTS]
I need to eat tonight ♪
Not work the street tonight ♪
I need to eat tonight ♪
- Oh, wait. We're doing that. [MUMBLES]
- [JAZZ NOTE REPEATS]
[UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC STOPS]
I have made my decision.
Your stories are most compelling,
but I must hire the best dancer.
[OCTAVIUS CLEARS THROAT]
One second.
That was pretty intense, huh? [WHEEZES]
You're kidding. Really? Are you sure?
- Did you see her?
- You heard Uncle Octavius.
[CLEARS THROAT] Mr. Kratt. Do it.
[SIGHS]
[SIGHS] You. You've got the job.
Whoa. Wow.
Um, I Okay. Uh,
well, I just wanna say
it is really been a true privilege
- to dance with all of Yeah.
- [SIGHS] Shut it.
One of those things.
Only one spot, you know. [MUTTERS]
[PRISONERS CHATTERING]
[TOPHER] To be honest, hair
like this, it's a burden.
Gets caught in trees.
You have to worry about fleas.
- Gets messed up by the breeze.
- [GROANS, SIGHS]
[UPBEAT ORCHESTRA MUSIC PLAYS]
Here comes Bobby ♪
Who?
Here comes Bobby now ♪
- Hello, boys.
- [PRISONERS WHISTLING, CHEERING]
Here comes Bobby ♪
Bobby, baby ♪
Wowzah wowzah wow ♪
[BOBBY] Is everybody here?
- Is everybody happy?
- [PRISONER] Oh, yeah!
Help us, Bobby ♪
Help us, Bobby, please ♪
Help us, Bobby ♪
Get us off on technicalities ♪
Not now, fellas.
Much as I'd like to give you the time,
I simply cannot handle your appeal.
Whoa.
Bobby ♪
Wowzah wowzah wow! ♪
[PRISONERS WHISTLING, CHEERING]
Bobby Flanagan, Attorney at Law.
Your mistress hired me. Tall
brunette. Kind of "complain-y."
[GASPS] That's my wife.
So [SIGHS] do-do you
think you can get me out of here?
I don't know. But I'm
gonna get paid trying.
First things first, don't tell me
why you did it. I don't need to know.
- Oh, I didn't do it.
- Don't need to know that either.
Just do what I tell you.
Winning a case is all about
flimflam, flapdoodle, and pizzazz.
- Flapdoodle?
- Mmm.
The law is 10% precedent and 90% wow.
- Lucky for you, I'm very good at wow.
- Huh.
Your press conference starts
in an hour. I'll see you then.
In an hour? Wa-Wait
Press conference? [STAMMERS] But
Help us, Bobby ♪
Help us, Bobby, please ♪
Help us, Bobby ♪
Get us off on technicalities ♪
I'm working on it,
boys. I'm working on it.
Bobby! ♪
But
- [ELECTRICITY PULSATING]
- [PRISONER SCREAMING]
I mean, I was surprised
when you said it was me,
but I must have something,
right? [CHUCKLES]
- Sure.
- Ooh. What's behind this door?
Off-limits. Dead girl schmutz.
Rehearsal in one hour.
Don't shave anything.
- Here's some rouge for your knees.
- My knees?
- You think they need contour?
- [CHUCKLES]
Oh.
Oh, Melissa. Thank heavens.
I have been so worried.
I heard about Josh,
and I want you to know that I
don't believe a single word of it!
My chum Josh couldn't have killed
Elsie! He's too, too divine!
And I'm never wrong about people.
Thank you.
And now you're gonna
be working at the club!
Oh, I can't wait to
take you under my wing
and teach you absolutely
everything that I know!
Oh, no. Jenny, you
don't have to do that.
No, I insist.
I just hope you won't let
stardom go to your head too fast.
Oh, no, stop. And who are you again?
[CHUCKLES] Oh, Melissa,
you are such a panic!
- I mean
- Oh, it's gonna be absolutely marvelous
having you around! [GASPS] In
fact, you should be my roommate.
Oh, really? Wait, you mean
Well, poor old Elsie isn't
using her bedroom anymore
now that she's dead. And
I'm so easy to live with.
I dash all day, and I
dash even more at night.
Yeah, it could be useful
for me to be there.
I mean [STAMMERS] for
you to teach me and everything.
[INHALES SHARPLY] And, you know, maybe
you could tell me more about Elsie
and who may have wanted to kill her.
I'm sure we have much more
interesting things to discuss
other than some
gruesome unsolved murder.
[GASPS] So it's decided.
You'll move in, and we
will have nothing but fun.
And bad things will
never happen ever again.
Does anyone have two cigarettes?
My roommate, Melissa, and
I are simply desperate.
Oh, no. I'm actually
fine. I don't smoke, so
Okay. Wow. That actually
looks incredible.
I don't think I can
go through with this.
Of course you can. Just
stick to the script, kid.
Gentlemen and gentlemen of the press,
you all know me, Bobby
Flanagan, Attorney at Law.
- [JOURNALIST] Mm-hmm, sure do.
- [CHUCKLING] Oh, stop.
I'm here with my client, the
accused murderer, Josh Skinner.
The question is not, "Did Josh
Skinner brutally murder Elsie Vale?"
- It's not?
- The real question is,
"What drove him to it?"
My client will now read
from a prepared statement.
Oh. Yep. Mmm.
"Elsie Vale did not deserve to die.
But now she is dead,
and I am in jail. Why?
This tragedy and my part in it
can only be blamed on one thing.
- Jazz."
- [CROWD GASPS]
I knew it.
Jazz is to blame again.
- [SPECTATOR] Devil's music.
- Aw, man.
"This was an ugly crime of passion
brought about by shameless
music mixed with liquor"?
Jazz and booze. [SNIFFLES]
They go together every time!
I'll drink to that! [CHUCKLES]
"I am so ashamed that I
let jazz infect my soul."
[SCOFFS] "I'm sorry for what I did,
and I will never again listen
to such evil, improvisatory,
harmonically complex "
- " melodies, such as"
- Hmm. Yeah.
- Why'd you stop? Keep going.
- [JOSH] I can't do this.
I can't stand here and say I
murdered somebody because of jazz.
I mean, I-I pretend to like
jazz like everybody else.
But come on, jazz did
not kill Elsie Vale.
- [CROWD GASPS]
- Right on.
My client is delirious.
Stand back, everyone. His case
of jazz is worse than we thought.
- So you're not sorry for what you did?
- No, of course not. I didn't do anything.
Killer says he's not sorry!
- How is there already a paper?
- Would you do it again?
Would I not kill her again? Yes.
- Killer says he'll do it again!
- How is he
Gentlemen, please, let
me confer with my client.
- It's okay, Bobby. We got enough.
- To send him to the chair.
[CHUCKLING]
Wait, wait. Uh, co-come to think of it,
uh, may maybe maybe it was jazz.
- Come on. Let's go.
- [SCATTING]
- The last rites?
- I'll call ya.
[JAIL DOOR OPENS]
[MELISSA] Josh? Josh!
- Mel! Over here!
- Josh!
- Hey! I have great news. [CHUCKLING]
- Oh, God. Thank God. Yes.
- I got the job.
- [STAMMERS] What job?
I'm the new dancer at the club.
Yeah, somehow, I guess
I nailed the audition.
- [PRISONER] Hey, that's great.
- [SCOFFS]
- Oh. Wow. Okay. Well, thank you.
- Wow.
This is nice.
I am really happy that you
nailed the audition, uh, sweetie.
But I'm also just a little concerned
that I'm going to be executed
- for a murder I didn't commit.
- Yes. Right. F Elsie.
- And you being framed. I know.
- Yeah.
I'm so sorry. I think I just
I got caught up in the the
glitz and the glamour of it all.
- But, hey, listen, I only did all this
- That's okay.
so I could find evidence
to get you out of here.
It's the standard play.
Thank you, sweetie.
- I really appreciate that.
- I got Yeah.
- [SIGHS]
- Wow. That was really beautiful.
- This is Topher.
- Wow.
Um [STAMMERS]
nice to meet you, Topher.
- You look groovy.
- [TOPHER] Thanks.
- Man, I wish I had what you guys have.
- [SIGHS]
- [PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
- [SCOFFS]
[TOPHER] I keep searching.
- This is not about you, Topher.
- [PIANO MUSIC ENDS]
Right. Sorry. [CHUCKLES]
Uh, well, so how was
the press conference?
Not great. I went off script,
and now everyone wants me dead.
- Oh, Josh.
- Do you
Do you think I could
actually die in here?
Definitely. That's what makes
this all so entertaining.
- [CHUCKLES]
- [JOSH] Entertaining? I
You know what? Just ignore
him, and maybe he'll go away.
You don't know me.
- [MELISSA SCOFFS]
- [JOSH] You missed.
- [NARRATOR] On purpose.
- Hey. Hey, listen to me.
We can get you out of here
because I'm on the case.
I didn't just get Elsie's old
job. I moved into her apartment.
So I can dig up clues
and find out who the real killer
is and prove that you are innocent.
- You really think so?
- I know so.
We're getting you out of here,
and we're gonna get that happy
ending, whatever that means.
- [SIGHS] I love you. [CHUCKLES]
- I love you, too.
[TOPHER] Man.
- [GASPS]
- [SIGHS]
Look at you two.
[PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
Maybe someday I'll find
what I'm searching for.
- This is not about you, Topher.
- [PIANO MUSIC ENDS]
Well, here it is. Our
oh-so-decadent den of iniquity.
Isn't it just divine?
I mean, this would be 1.8 in Park Slope.
Well, you packed light.
You know what? Feel free to
take any of Elsie's old frocks.
She's definitely not using them.
Oh, I don't think anything would fit me.
Sizes seem to run a little small here.
'Course it would. Everything
here has tons of stretch.
- Wow. Look at all those flowers.
- [SNIFFS]
You must have so many admirers.
Oh, no. These are all
from Mr. Kratt. [GIGGLES]
He owns the club and practically
everything else in Schmicago. [CHUCKLES]
Yeah. Yeah, I met him.
[EXCLAIMS] Isn't he a dear?
I guess you could say
that we've been comforting
each other ever since Elsie.
She was his favorite, you
know. But now it seems I am.
- [CHUCKLES] Oh. [LAUGHS]
- [CHUCKLING]
I mean, but are you
sure that's a good idea?
Just might be a little fast, and,
you know, he's your boss, so
We have to seize happiness
every chance we get, Melissa.
The world could end tomorrow.
Besides, Mr. Kratt has
promised to make me a big star,
which is all I've ever wanted
to be. [INHALES SHARPLY]
- [KNOCKS ON DOOR]
- It's open!
[DOOR OPENS]
[SIGHS] Ladies.
Mr. Kratt expects you
for dinner in 20 minutes.
He wants you to wear this.
[SQUEALS, GIGGLES]
- Oh, my God.
- And more flowers?
He's turning me into a
bona fide botanist. [LAUGHS]
I won't be a moment.
I'll do a quick change.
- [SIGHS]
- [INHALES DEEPLY]
Sure. Yes.
Why don't I just take those?
I hope you realize how fortunate you are
to be performing at the club tonight.
Not everyone that wants
to gets the chance.
Hmm. Yeah, I bet.
I mean, of course. [SIGHS] God,
everyone's gonna miss Elsie so much.
Yes. I've seen you dance.
No, no. I just It's It's
sad what happened to her. [SIGHS]
Did you know her well?
- Why do you ask?
- [CHUCKLES] I'm just curious.
If you want to be happy here
in Schmicago, take my advice.
Don't stick your pretty little
nose where it doesn't belong.
You don't want to end
up like your husband.
Ready.
I'm sure we'll be seeing more of you.
Yeah. Have fun.
Melissa, about Mr. Kratt.
I know that I may seem like a silly
girl who does stupid, silly things.
Oh, n Jenny. No,
no, no. That's not my
And I know that Mr. Kratt
and I are an odd item,
but I'm just doing what I need
to do to survive. Like all of us.
Toodles!
Okay, clues. Clues.
Looking for clues. Hmm.
Okay. I wonder if this is a clue.
Oh, maybe I should try it on.
Do-do-de-doot ♪
Do-do-de-doot ♪
Doo-doo-doot de-doot doot! ♪
When we met you
promised me the stars ♪
But now your love feels
more like prison bars ♪
Somehow I'm doing time ♪
Convicted of no crime ♪
So before you get ♪
To handing out cigars ♪
I'm bustin' out ♪
Buh-buh-buh-buh bustin' out ♪
Buh-baby, I'll do without ♪
All of those chains that bound me ♪
All those years that
you controlled me ♪
Now there's no way you can hold me ♪
Sorry, dear, there's no preventing ♪
Me from leaving your San Quentin ♪
- [CAR APPROACHES]
- [CLANGS]
What's that?
- They're here.
- [CAR TIRES SQUEAL]
- Whoa!
- Come on, Topher! Let's roll!
- Ah, man, I knew you guys would show up.
- What?
[CAR HORN BEEPS]
So, Josh, are you ready to
get on the happiness bus?
It's literal? I thought
that was a metaphor.
No, it's real, man. And there's
a seat waiting just for you.
I don't know. I don't know if I should.
Although, it's the happiness
bus. And the Leprechaun said
- [SIREN WAILING]
- We gotta go, man. The fuzz are coming!
Bustin' out ♪
Buh-buh-buh-buh bustin' out ♪
Buh-baby, now there's no doubt ♪
I'm not gonna let you hound me ♪
Once a life alone was scary ♪
But I can't wait for solitary ♪
Need a love with more pizzazz ♪
I'm tired of this Alcatraz ♪
Come on, Josh.
Do you really want to put your
faith in a corrupt legal system?
Um. I
Think about your life, Josh. The
happiness bus is calling your name.
- Josh, Josh, Josh.
- Josh, Josh.
[PRISONERS] Josh, Josh,
Josh! Josh, Josh, Josh!
Do-do-de-doot ♪
Do-do-de-doot ♪
- Doo-doo ♪
- Doo-doo ♪
Doo ♪
Bustin' out ♪
Buh-buh-buh-buh bustin' out ♪
Buh-baby, it's time to shout ♪
I'm done with these walls around me ♪
Made me think you were my savior ♪
But now I'm out on bad behavior ♪
I'll go any place on Earth ♪
Just to escape your Leavenworth ♪
- I'm bustin' out ♪
- Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh
- Buh-buh-buh-buh bustin' out ♪
- All right. Let's do this!
- Buh-baby, it's time to flout ♪
- [CHEERING] Come on!
The finger 'round which you wound me ♪
I'm so sick of all your gripes ♪
You know I don't
look good in stripes ♪
I'm bustin', bustin' out! ♪
There's no glamour in the
slammer so I'm bustin' out! ♪
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING, CHEERING]
Oh. [CHUCKLES]
[APPLAUSE CONTINUES]
Wow. [CHUCKLES]
You were wonderful,
darling. They adored you.
- I could feel it. Like, that was amazing.
- Mmm.
You really think they loved it?
Oh, loved it? They gagged.
They gasped. They glowed.
- [PERFORMERS GIGGLING]
- You. Gimble. Come with me.
- Oh, okay.
- Ooh.
I wasn't sure. But you can't
argue with an ovation like that.
From now on, you change in here.
The body is gone and most of the blood.
Welcome to show business.
Ah.
Did the police take any other evidence?
What for? They already
caught the killer.
Make yourself at home.
[CHOCOLATES RATTLING]
[MELISSA] Mmm.
You coming back to the party, roomie?
[CHUCKLES] You know it. [CHUCKLES]
Hey, does the address "17 Quick
Street" mean anything to you?
No, why?
Oh, no reason.
I would stay away from Quick
Street if I were you, darling.
It's not a safe place for
young fawns like us to slum in.
Not us young fawns.
- Come.
- [CHUCKLES]
[SIREN WAILING]
Speak of the devil.
Sounds like another
wild night in Schmicago.
Well, at least I know
Josh is safe. [CHUCKLES]
- [CAR HORN BEEPS]
- When will I see ♪
My doorway to where ♪
Do-do-de-doot ♪
Do-do-de-doot ♪
- Doo-doo ♪
- Doo-doo ♪
Doo ♪
Bustin' out ♪
Buh-buh-buh-buh bustin' out ♪
Buh-baby, it's time to shout ♪
I'm done with these walls around me ♪
Made me think you were my savior ♪
But now I'm out on bad behavior ♪
I'll go any place on Earth ♪
Just to escape your Leavenworth ♪
I'm bustin' out ♪
Buh-buh-buh-buh bustin' out ♪
Buh-baby, it's time to flout ♪
The finger 'round which you wound me ♪
I'm so sick of all your gripes ♪
You know I don't
look good in stripes ♪
I'm bustin', bustin' out! ♪
There's no glamour in the slammer ♪
So I'm bustin' out! ♪