See Dad Run (2012) s02e02 Episode Script
See Dad Get the Family to the Airport
- Keep your eye on the mustard.
- Where's the mustard? Keep your eye on the mustard.
Where's the mustard? Watch this one.
There we go.
Okay.
Okay, come on, let's go! Joe, Emily! Five minutes before we leave.
Cheese me.
Cheese! - Cheese! - Whoa! Yes! Note to self swiss flies better than the cheddar.
Must be the holes.
All right.
Pickle.
Pickle.
- Pickle.
- Beautiful.
Cookies.
Cookies.
We're out of cookies.
What are you guys doing? You're supposed to be dressed for school.
There is no school.
It's teacher planning day.
They plan, we sleep.
Did you know it was teacher planning day? I know a lot of things, but nobody ever asks.
- Oh.
Hey, honey.
- Hi, Sweetie.
You survived the week without me? Oh, come on.
I got it down pat.
I even remembered that it was teacher planning day.
You woke them up, didn't you? No.
Yes.
How was how was New York? Did the press tour go well? It was a whirlwind.
I got to meet a ton of all the days fans, but I'm exhausted.
Those cross-country trips are grueling.
It'll be over soon.
Folks, a bit of bad news for our six-hour flight across the country.
The bathrooms in Coach don't work.
So sit back, relax, and if you order a drink, keep the cup.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
Don't worry.
Luckily, I'm next to a guy with a giant pee cup.
Amy, I got a great idea.
No way.
No way! No way! Oh, Sweetie.
You don't have to do that.
It's way too much work and not enough time.
You got one too? And Taylor? - Uh-no! - Uh-way! This could be the single most important moment of our lives.
So I will see you at the airport in six hours, okay? I love you.
Oh.
Bye.
Hey, everybody! Come on down.
Where are you? Okay, I got some exciting news.
- So do I.
- Okay, me first.
No, me! I was just invited to the biggest party of the year! - No way.
- What's your news? Oh, I'm taking the family on a vacation.
No way.
That's awesome.
- When are we going? - Tonight.
When's your party? - Tonight.
- No way.
This is the worst possible scenario.
I know.
One of us is gonna be really disappointed.
I know.
Keep jumping.
This is fun! Cramping! I am so not four anymore.
Take a knee.
Emily, what do you mean you're not going? An impromptu ski vacation with the whole family is a great idea.
It is a great idea.
And I love family vacations.
But I cannot miss this party.
It's Rashley's sweet 16.
Rashley? Ruh-roh.
What's a rashley? Riley and Ashley.
The two most popular girls in school are combining their birthdays into a perfect storm of awesomeness.
Statistically, this won't happen again for another 4,000 years.
Ruh-roh.
See, if this was my show, that's what we would have called a running joke.
Dad, this isn't your show.
It's my life, which will be a joke if I don't go to this party.
Why can't you move the vacation to another weekend? Well you'll never have time to book the flights, get a hotel, and pack before tonight.
Challenge accepted.
I think you missed my point, Dad.
I get your point, Emily.
Listen, I know this party is important to you, but this is a family vacation, and you are part of the family.
Seriously? You're not gonna let me stay? - I'm telling Mom.
- No! Do not call Mom.
She's the reason I'm doing this.
I mean, she's got enough on her mind already.
Stop it.
Stop it.
Stop it.
Excuse me.
I am a big fan of all the days.
We've had a cancellation in first class.
- Would you be interested - Yes! - Right this way.
- Okay.
Okay, all right.
I'm just spit balling here, but how about you guys go without me? I'm 15.
I can stay here by myself.
You're 15.
No, you can't.
Seriously? Then how about I stay with a friend? - No.
- Why not? I'll tell you why not.
Because.
Seriously? Just because? Yes.
Because I said so.
Now seriously, you've got to stop saying, seriously.
- Why? - Because.
- Really? - Seriously! Emily, I don't mean to screw up your social life, but family comes first, okay? Huh? Oh, oh, I didn't catch that.
I was just watching my social life soar just before it gets sucked into an engine of a plane going skiing.
Drama Queen.
I didn't even say anything.
- She meant Emily.
- Did I? All right, guys.
Chew fast.
Come on.
We're out of here in five hours.
Good morning, Hobbs family.
Kevin, don't have time for coffee, chitchat.
- I've got some exciting news.
- Oh, don't tell me.
Emily got invited to the epic rashley party! Uh-no! Uh-way! Ruh-roh.
She got invited, but she's gonna miss it.
I'm taking the family away on an impromptu vacation.
Aw, man, but it's the social event of the year.
Hey, I'll be here.
I can stay with her.
Kevin, she is coming with us.
She's part of the family.
And so are you.
You're part of the family now.
Wha I'm I'm I'm part of the family? Yes, you are, my friend.
I'm gonna need your help to pull all this together, okay? Um where's our family going? Going skiing.
Skiing? Oh, you don't like skiing? I love it so much.
Okay, good, I need you to call the airline and book the flights, okay? We're flying? You love flying too? No, I'm terrified of it.
I'm scared of heights.
That's why I would never change the light bulb in your office.
I was so lucky that you don't read.
Kevin, go to your happy place.
Come on.
- Okay.
- All right.
All right, so just to confirm, we've got the hotel and the airline booked, right? Okay, good.
Thanks, Todd.
Yeah, I know this is all last minute.
That's why we called the last minute travel agency.
Really? Well, maybe you should've called your business Todd would've preferred a few days to get the tickets together agency.
How about that? Just hold on one second.
Oh, guys.
Oh, good.
You found your ski clothes.
I can't feel my legs.
I can't feel my arms.
I can't feel anything.
I'm dead inside.
Todd, change of plans.
We're going the beach.
Excuse me.
Do the, um do the bathrooms work in first class? Of course.
Well, then, keep 'em coming.
Okay, so we need to make my Dad realize the importance of the party I'll be missing.
I've prepared dialogue for you to casually work into the conversation.
Emily, if you miss this party, you might as well not even show your face at school anymore.
Oh.
Hey, Mr.
Hobbs.
I did not see you there.
Excellent.
But try to act a little more surprised to see him.
We'll work on that.
Taylor? Emily, Rashley's party is the social event of the decade.
If you miss it, they will dump you as a friend, you'll be a total loser, and it'll be all your Father's fault.
Oh, hey, Mr.
Hobbs.
I did not see you there.
Nailed it.
Oh, Emily.
I have some very exciting news.
I booked us ocean view rooms at the casa Del Fancio in Cabo San Lucas.
Oh, hello, Olivia.
Hello, Taylor.
I did not see you sitting there.
Oh em gee, Emily.
You're going to casa Del Fancio? I'm pretty sure that means fancy casa in Mexican.
Spanish.
There's a casa Del Fancio in Spain? I am so jeal'.
I heard that two guys from One Direction stayed in three casas.
No, it was three guys from One Direction stayed in two casas.
Well, now it's two girls leaving my casa in the same direction.
Adios.
Goodbye, ladies.
Don't mess with the master.
Get packin'.
- What are you wearing? - Oh, yes.
These are my custom-made Don't need luggage anymore.
Got a pocket for everything.
Is there a pocket that stores a less dorky pair of pants? Pocket 12.
Little jeal', are we? We're going down! We're going down! Kevin, it's a flight simulator.
I don't care.
I'm bailing out.
Maybe he shouldn't sit in the emergency exit row.
There's an entire row for emergencies? He's all yours, Dad.
Okay, Dad.
I'm ready.
We're gonna have so much fun.
Emily, if you're going to fake-cough, it needs to come from the diaphragm.
Observe.
You seem to forget my much beloved episode, see Dad fake a cold, starve a fever.
Won me a phlegmy.
I packed all by myself, Daddy.
I'm very proud of you, baby.
Come on, guys.
We leave in 20.
You might want to take a peek in Janie's bag.
Let's see what we got here.
We've got one lab coat for Dr.
Monkey Chunks.
We got Monkey Chunks's bikini.
I didn't know she was a swimmer.
And a glitter pencil and one tap shoe.
Baby, you need more than one shoe.
But I could only find one sock.
All right, then we're on the hunt for another sock or a pair of flip-flops, okay? Either way, we're out of here in 19.
Come on, guys.
Remember.
This is all about making your Mother happy, okay? This movie is hilarious.
Is anybody else watching this? Oh, my God! Yo! That's our car, everybody.
We're out of here in five.
Kevin, you okay? Never better.
That special pill you gave me is really working.
Special pill? Yeah, I gave him a mint.
I told him it was a special, anti-fear-of-flying pill.
It's all about the power of suggestion.
Come on, Kevin.
We're gonna go ride the ponies.
Oh, ponies? I love ponies.
I'm gonna name mine thunder.
No.
Lightning.
No.
- David.
- Oh, yeah.
There you go.
Come on, Emily.
We're gonna leave without you.
Really? No.
Get in the car.
I gotta tell you, Dad, I'm impressed.
You almost pulled this impromptu trip off.
What do you mean almost? Well, there are a few things you're overlooking, and I would be more than willing to stay and take care of them.
Like? Like, who's gonna watch the house? Marcus.
Who's gonna bring in the mail? Marcus.
Who's gonna take care of Joe's Guinea pig? Joe has a Guinea pig? We'll just stick it in the mailbox.
I mean, what is Marcus gonna do, ignore it? I'll call him from the car, okay? And look at that.
Right on time.
Can I get a well played? No? Anything? Ruh-roh.
Oh, come on.
He's taking a phone call.
- I said you're not going.
- Yeah, we'll discuss it later.
- Next.
- Yes, finally.
- You in a hurry? - Yeah, gotta catch a flight.
That's unusual in an airport.
You should've said something, walked ahead of all these people who got nowhere to be.
Oh.
Sorry, Sir.
It's just been a stressful day trying to take the family on an impromptu getaway to Mexico.
Bring me your finest pony, good Sir.
Oh, yeah.
Boarding passes and I.
D.
s please.
Yes.
Boarding pass, ID got them right here in pockets 12 and 13.
I got these traveling pants that I had made for me.
It's like having a well-organized filing cabinet on my legs.
We good to go? I need to see your I.
D.
It was with the others.
Well, now it's not.
You might want to check your filing cabinet.
I have so many compartments in here.
No, that's not it.
Keys I must have misplaced it somewhere.
Misfiled it.
Uh, all right.
That's that's not weird.
That's that's a bikini for a stuffed monkey.
Look, I hate doing this.
I really do, but, Sir, I'm a I'm a big tv star.
You might recognize me.
Oh, right.
You're David Hobbs.
Yes.
Yes, I am.
Hey, everybody.
Look who I'm not letting through.
It's David Hobbs! Come on, our flight leaves in 20 minutes.
Looks like you're not gonna be on it.
How out you let me walk through your-invasion-of-privacy scanner over there and you could find it that way.
Yeah, that's not gonna happen.
- Why not? - Because I said so.
Look, either find that I.
D.
Or get to the back of the line.
All right.
Well, you leave me with no choice.
Travel pants are coming off! Come on, scan these pants.
Scan those pants! Scan his pants! Scan his pants! - Scan my pants! - Scan his pants! Scan his pants! Well, on the upside, at least everybody I know is at Rashley's party and not here seeing this.
Scan his pants! Scan his pants! Scan his pants! All right, congratulations.
I found your I.
D.
inside your magic pants.
You happy now? Can we please go? We also found some contraband.
It's not contraband.
It's shampoo and conditioner.
Well, it looks suspicious.
Gonna have to toss it out.
With all due respect, Sir, that is very, very expensive stuff, okay? And honestly, haven't you inconvenienced me enough already? When I say inconvenienced me enough, I- I mean keeping America safe.
Well, the answer is no.
Because I said so.
Yeah.
Seriously.
The big guy's done.
Can I turn around please? Yeah.
So Mr.
Hobbs, we ran a quick chemical analysis on this so-called shampoo and conditioner.
What analysis? I smelled it.
And these compounds are like no ordinary hair products.
Well, in all modesty.
This is no ordinary hair.
- You sassing me, Hobbs? - No.
Because that smells like sass.
If it looks like sass and it smells like sass, it's probably sass.
So it appears like you'll be spending your impromptu family vacation right here in this office.
Can I at least have my pants back? No.
They're evidence.
I'm locking them in my cabinet and filing 'em under S for sassypants.
I'm sorry, guys.
I blew it.
Guess we not gonna go to casa Del Fancio.
Wait.
Officer brace, can I ask you a question? Is this your daughter? Yes.
That's who's been calling you, isn't it? I don't think that's any of your concern.
Is it possible that the reason you're being so hard on my Dad is because you're really just angry and frustrated with your daughter? Yeah, I suppose that's possible.
She wanted something, you said no, but she wouldn't let up, would she? Mr.
Hobbs, can you control her please? Seriously? Yeah.
I can't control mine either.
She never lets up.
I mean, I love her, but she makes it so hard sometimes, you know.
You know what that's like, don't you, Dad? Oh.
Oh, it tortures me.
She Tor that's like, you talk about sass, she is the Mayor of sassytown.
My daughter's the Governor of Sassachusetts.
Better that then the Senator of Arkansass.
Arkansass that's a good one.
See, officer brace, my Dad's not a bad guy.
And you guys aren't that different.
Can't you just give him a break? Hmm.
Well, if you're anything like my daughter, he needs one.
Yeah, fine.
You're free to go.
Oh, well, thank you.
Can I have my hair products back please? You should put on your sassypants and let's go.
Look at me on my prize-winning steed.
Ride, iron wheels, ride! You guys, please go corral him.
- Well played, Emily.
- Thanks.
When did you get so grown-up? Somewhere around the time when you were chanting, scan my pants.
Still want to go to the party? It's a little late now.
I'll call Marcus.
He'll come and get you.
And you can stay with him, okay? Seriously? Seriously.
Thank you for flying for with us today, Mrs.
Hobbs.
You look like you've been on a vacation.
Oh.
Oh, oh, that's not good.
Oh, no.
My husband's been busting his butt trying to take me on a vacation.
I can't look like I've already been on one.
Allow me.
I love first class.
Folks, we should be pushing back in just a few minutes.
That was a rough trip, huh? Oh, you have no idea.
Oh, no.
This was so awesome, you guys.
Thanks for making it happen.
Yeah, piece of cake, right, kids? Daddy took his pants off in the airport.
Kids.
I got it on video.
So did about 200 other people.
Hmm.
So I'm impressed with the way you handled Emily.
Letting her go must have been pretty hard, huh? Nah.
I miss her too, Sweetie.
Oh.
Emily.
Hey, em.
What's up? I just wanted to thank you again for letting me go, Daddy.
Oh, yeah.
No problem.
Are you okay? I guess knowing you would let me go kind of made me want to stay.
Well, honey, don't worry.
They'll be other family trips to go on, okay? Not to casa Del Fancio.
Thank you, baby.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
- Hey, Mom.
- Aw.
Hey, Sweetie.
Mwah.
Really glad you're coming with us.
Me too.
I wasn't gonna let you guys have all the family fun.
Now move over.
I want to sit next to Dad.
No way.
I was here first.
And I want to sit next to Dad.
I was on the Earth first.
Move it.
- Ow, stop it.
- No, don't touch me.
- I was sitting there first.
- There you go.
Oh, hey.
Whoa, hey, hey, hey, hey, shh, shh.
On an airplane.
Here we go.
Now it's a family vacation.
Folks, we have a young man up here in the cockpit.
Says he lost his pony.
And insists on flying the plane.
David, are you out there? Tell them that I can fly this bird.
I've practiced all day.
He's ours.
- Where's the mustard? Keep your eye on the mustard.
Where's the mustard? Watch this one.
There we go.
Okay.
Okay, come on, let's go! Joe, Emily! Five minutes before we leave.
Cheese me.
Cheese! - Cheese! - Whoa! Yes! Note to self swiss flies better than the cheddar.
Must be the holes.
All right.
Pickle.
Pickle.
- Pickle.
- Beautiful.
Cookies.
Cookies.
We're out of cookies.
What are you guys doing? You're supposed to be dressed for school.
There is no school.
It's teacher planning day.
They plan, we sleep.
Did you know it was teacher planning day? I know a lot of things, but nobody ever asks.
- Oh.
Hey, honey.
- Hi, Sweetie.
You survived the week without me? Oh, come on.
I got it down pat.
I even remembered that it was teacher planning day.
You woke them up, didn't you? No.
Yes.
How was how was New York? Did the press tour go well? It was a whirlwind.
I got to meet a ton of all the days fans, but I'm exhausted.
Those cross-country trips are grueling.
It'll be over soon.
Folks, a bit of bad news for our six-hour flight across the country.
The bathrooms in Coach don't work.
So sit back, relax, and if you order a drink, keep the cup.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
Don't worry.
Luckily, I'm next to a guy with a giant pee cup.
Amy, I got a great idea.
No way.
No way! No way! Oh, Sweetie.
You don't have to do that.
It's way too much work and not enough time.
You got one too? And Taylor? - Uh-no! - Uh-way! This could be the single most important moment of our lives.
So I will see you at the airport in six hours, okay? I love you.
Oh.
Bye.
Hey, everybody! Come on down.
Where are you? Okay, I got some exciting news.
- So do I.
- Okay, me first.
No, me! I was just invited to the biggest party of the year! - No way.
- What's your news? Oh, I'm taking the family on a vacation.
No way.
That's awesome.
- When are we going? - Tonight.
When's your party? - Tonight.
- No way.
This is the worst possible scenario.
I know.
One of us is gonna be really disappointed.
I know.
Keep jumping.
This is fun! Cramping! I am so not four anymore.
Take a knee.
Emily, what do you mean you're not going? An impromptu ski vacation with the whole family is a great idea.
It is a great idea.
And I love family vacations.
But I cannot miss this party.
It's Rashley's sweet 16.
Rashley? Ruh-roh.
What's a rashley? Riley and Ashley.
The two most popular girls in school are combining their birthdays into a perfect storm of awesomeness.
Statistically, this won't happen again for another 4,000 years.
Ruh-roh.
See, if this was my show, that's what we would have called a running joke.
Dad, this isn't your show.
It's my life, which will be a joke if I don't go to this party.
Why can't you move the vacation to another weekend? Well you'll never have time to book the flights, get a hotel, and pack before tonight.
Challenge accepted.
I think you missed my point, Dad.
I get your point, Emily.
Listen, I know this party is important to you, but this is a family vacation, and you are part of the family.
Seriously? You're not gonna let me stay? - I'm telling Mom.
- No! Do not call Mom.
She's the reason I'm doing this.
I mean, she's got enough on her mind already.
Stop it.
Stop it.
Stop it.
Excuse me.
I am a big fan of all the days.
We've had a cancellation in first class.
- Would you be interested - Yes! - Right this way.
- Okay.
Okay, all right.
I'm just spit balling here, but how about you guys go without me? I'm 15.
I can stay here by myself.
You're 15.
No, you can't.
Seriously? Then how about I stay with a friend? - No.
- Why not? I'll tell you why not.
Because.
Seriously? Just because? Yes.
Because I said so.
Now seriously, you've got to stop saying, seriously.
- Why? - Because.
- Really? - Seriously! Emily, I don't mean to screw up your social life, but family comes first, okay? Huh? Oh, oh, I didn't catch that.
I was just watching my social life soar just before it gets sucked into an engine of a plane going skiing.
Drama Queen.
I didn't even say anything.
- She meant Emily.
- Did I? All right, guys.
Chew fast.
Come on.
We're out of here in five hours.
Good morning, Hobbs family.
Kevin, don't have time for coffee, chitchat.
- I've got some exciting news.
- Oh, don't tell me.
Emily got invited to the epic rashley party! Uh-no! Uh-way! Ruh-roh.
She got invited, but she's gonna miss it.
I'm taking the family away on an impromptu vacation.
Aw, man, but it's the social event of the year.
Hey, I'll be here.
I can stay with her.
Kevin, she is coming with us.
She's part of the family.
And so are you.
You're part of the family now.
Wha I'm I'm I'm part of the family? Yes, you are, my friend.
I'm gonna need your help to pull all this together, okay? Um where's our family going? Going skiing.
Skiing? Oh, you don't like skiing? I love it so much.
Okay, good, I need you to call the airline and book the flights, okay? We're flying? You love flying too? No, I'm terrified of it.
I'm scared of heights.
That's why I would never change the light bulb in your office.
I was so lucky that you don't read.
Kevin, go to your happy place.
Come on.
- Okay.
- All right.
All right, so just to confirm, we've got the hotel and the airline booked, right? Okay, good.
Thanks, Todd.
Yeah, I know this is all last minute.
That's why we called the last minute travel agency.
Really? Well, maybe you should've called your business Todd would've preferred a few days to get the tickets together agency.
How about that? Just hold on one second.
Oh, guys.
Oh, good.
You found your ski clothes.
I can't feel my legs.
I can't feel my arms.
I can't feel anything.
I'm dead inside.
Todd, change of plans.
We're going the beach.
Excuse me.
Do the, um do the bathrooms work in first class? Of course.
Well, then, keep 'em coming.
Okay, so we need to make my Dad realize the importance of the party I'll be missing.
I've prepared dialogue for you to casually work into the conversation.
Emily, if you miss this party, you might as well not even show your face at school anymore.
Oh.
Hey, Mr.
Hobbs.
I did not see you there.
Excellent.
But try to act a little more surprised to see him.
We'll work on that.
Taylor? Emily, Rashley's party is the social event of the decade.
If you miss it, they will dump you as a friend, you'll be a total loser, and it'll be all your Father's fault.
Oh, hey, Mr.
Hobbs.
I did not see you there.
Nailed it.
Oh, Emily.
I have some very exciting news.
I booked us ocean view rooms at the casa Del Fancio in Cabo San Lucas.
Oh, hello, Olivia.
Hello, Taylor.
I did not see you sitting there.
Oh em gee, Emily.
You're going to casa Del Fancio? I'm pretty sure that means fancy casa in Mexican.
Spanish.
There's a casa Del Fancio in Spain? I am so jeal'.
I heard that two guys from One Direction stayed in three casas.
No, it was three guys from One Direction stayed in two casas.
Well, now it's two girls leaving my casa in the same direction.
Adios.
Goodbye, ladies.
Don't mess with the master.
Get packin'.
- What are you wearing? - Oh, yes.
These are my custom-made Don't need luggage anymore.
Got a pocket for everything.
Is there a pocket that stores a less dorky pair of pants? Pocket 12.
Little jeal', are we? We're going down! We're going down! Kevin, it's a flight simulator.
I don't care.
I'm bailing out.
Maybe he shouldn't sit in the emergency exit row.
There's an entire row for emergencies? He's all yours, Dad.
Okay, Dad.
I'm ready.
We're gonna have so much fun.
Emily, if you're going to fake-cough, it needs to come from the diaphragm.
Observe.
You seem to forget my much beloved episode, see Dad fake a cold, starve a fever.
Won me a phlegmy.
I packed all by myself, Daddy.
I'm very proud of you, baby.
Come on, guys.
We leave in 20.
You might want to take a peek in Janie's bag.
Let's see what we got here.
We've got one lab coat for Dr.
Monkey Chunks.
We got Monkey Chunks's bikini.
I didn't know she was a swimmer.
And a glitter pencil and one tap shoe.
Baby, you need more than one shoe.
But I could only find one sock.
All right, then we're on the hunt for another sock or a pair of flip-flops, okay? Either way, we're out of here in 19.
Come on, guys.
Remember.
This is all about making your Mother happy, okay? This movie is hilarious.
Is anybody else watching this? Oh, my God! Yo! That's our car, everybody.
We're out of here in five.
Kevin, you okay? Never better.
That special pill you gave me is really working.
Special pill? Yeah, I gave him a mint.
I told him it was a special, anti-fear-of-flying pill.
It's all about the power of suggestion.
Come on, Kevin.
We're gonna go ride the ponies.
Oh, ponies? I love ponies.
I'm gonna name mine thunder.
No.
Lightning.
No.
- David.
- Oh, yeah.
There you go.
Come on, Emily.
We're gonna leave without you.
Really? No.
Get in the car.
I gotta tell you, Dad, I'm impressed.
You almost pulled this impromptu trip off.
What do you mean almost? Well, there are a few things you're overlooking, and I would be more than willing to stay and take care of them.
Like? Like, who's gonna watch the house? Marcus.
Who's gonna bring in the mail? Marcus.
Who's gonna take care of Joe's Guinea pig? Joe has a Guinea pig? We'll just stick it in the mailbox.
I mean, what is Marcus gonna do, ignore it? I'll call him from the car, okay? And look at that.
Right on time.
Can I get a well played? No? Anything? Ruh-roh.
Oh, come on.
He's taking a phone call.
- I said you're not going.
- Yeah, we'll discuss it later.
- Next.
- Yes, finally.
- You in a hurry? - Yeah, gotta catch a flight.
That's unusual in an airport.
You should've said something, walked ahead of all these people who got nowhere to be.
Oh.
Sorry, Sir.
It's just been a stressful day trying to take the family on an impromptu getaway to Mexico.
Bring me your finest pony, good Sir.
Oh, yeah.
Boarding passes and I.
D.
s please.
Yes.
Boarding pass, ID got them right here in pockets 12 and 13.
I got these traveling pants that I had made for me.
It's like having a well-organized filing cabinet on my legs.
We good to go? I need to see your I.
D.
It was with the others.
Well, now it's not.
You might want to check your filing cabinet.
I have so many compartments in here.
No, that's not it.
Keys I must have misplaced it somewhere.
Misfiled it.
Uh, all right.
That's that's not weird.
That's that's a bikini for a stuffed monkey.
Look, I hate doing this.
I really do, but, Sir, I'm a I'm a big tv star.
You might recognize me.
Oh, right.
You're David Hobbs.
Yes.
Yes, I am.
Hey, everybody.
Look who I'm not letting through.
It's David Hobbs! Come on, our flight leaves in 20 minutes.
Looks like you're not gonna be on it.
How out you let me walk through your-invasion-of-privacy scanner over there and you could find it that way.
Yeah, that's not gonna happen.
- Why not? - Because I said so.
Look, either find that I.
D.
Or get to the back of the line.
All right.
Well, you leave me with no choice.
Travel pants are coming off! Come on, scan these pants.
Scan those pants! Scan his pants! Scan his pants! - Scan my pants! - Scan his pants! Scan his pants! Well, on the upside, at least everybody I know is at Rashley's party and not here seeing this.
Scan his pants! Scan his pants! Scan his pants! All right, congratulations.
I found your I.
D.
inside your magic pants.
You happy now? Can we please go? We also found some contraband.
It's not contraband.
It's shampoo and conditioner.
Well, it looks suspicious.
Gonna have to toss it out.
With all due respect, Sir, that is very, very expensive stuff, okay? And honestly, haven't you inconvenienced me enough already? When I say inconvenienced me enough, I- I mean keeping America safe.
Well, the answer is no.
Because I said so.
Yeah.
Seriously.
The big guy's done.
Can I turn around please? Yeah.
So Mr.
Hobbs, we ran a quick chemical analysis on this so-called shampoo and conditioner.
What analysis? I smelled it.
And these compounds are like no ordinary hair products.
Well, in all modesty.
This is no ordinary hair.
- You sassing me, Hobbs? - No.
Because that smells like sass.
If it looks like sass and it smells like sass, it's probably sass.
So it appears like you'll be spending your impromptu family vacation right here in this office.
Can I at least have my pants back? No.
They're evidence.
I'm locking them in my cabinet and filing 'em under S for sassypants.
I'm sorry, guys.
I blew it.
Guess we not gonna go to casa Del Fancio.
Wait.
Officer brace, can I ask you a question? Is this your daughter? Yes.
That's who's been calling you, isn't it? I don't think that's any of your concern.
Is it possible that the reason you're being so hard on my Dad is because you're really just angry and frustrated with your daughter? Yeah, I suppose that's possible.
She wanted something, you said no, but she wouldn't let up, would she? Mr.
Hobbs, can you control her please? Seriously? Yeah.
I can't control mine either.
She never lets up.
I mean, I love her, but she makes it so hard sometimes, you know.
You know what that's like, don't you, Dad? Oh.
Oh, it tortures me.
She Tor that's like, you talk about sass, she is the Mayor of sassytown.
My daughter's the Governor of Sassachusetts.
Better that then the Senator of Arkansass.
Arkansass that's a good one.
See, officer brace, my Dad's not a bad guy.
And you guys aren't that different.
Can't you just give him a break? Hmm.
Well, if you're anything like my daughter, he needs one.
Yeah, fine.
You're free to go.
Oh, well, thank you.
Can I have my hair products back please? You should put on your sassypants and let's go.
Look at me on my prize-winning steed.
Ride, iron wheels, ride! You guys, please go corral him.
- Well played, Emily.
- Thanks.
When did you get so grown-up? Somewhere around the time when you were chanting, scan my pants.
Still want to go to the party? It's a little late now.
I'll call Marcus.
He'll come and get you.
And you can stay with him, okay? Seriously? Seriously.
Thank you for flying for with us today, Mrs.
Hobbs.
You look like you've been on a vacation.
Oh.
Oh, oh, that's not good.
Oh, no.
My husband's been busting his butt trying to take me on a vacation.
I can't look like I've already been on one.
Allow me.
I love first class.
Folks, we should be pushing back in just a few minutes.
That was a rough trip, huh? Oh, you have no idea.
Oh, no.
This was so awesome, you guys.
Thanks for making it happen.
Yeah, piece of cake, right, kids? Daddy took his pants off in the airport.
Kids.
I got it on video.
So did about 200 other people.
Hmm.
So I'm impressed with the way you handled Emily.
Letting her go must have been pretty hard, huh? Nah.
I miss her too, Sweetie.
Oh.
Emily.
Hey, em.
What's up? I just wanted to thank you again for letting me go, Daddy.
Oh, yeah.
No problem.
Are you okay? I guess knowing you would let me go kind of made me want to stay.
Well, honey, don't worry.
They'll be other family trips to go on, okay? Not to casa Del Fancio.
Thank you, baby.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
- Hey, Mom.
- Aw.
Hey, Sweetie.
Mwah.
Really glad you're coming with us.
Me too.
I wasn't gonna let you guys have all the family fun.
Now move over.
I want to sit next to Dad.
No way.
I was here first.
And I want to sit next to Dad.
I was on the Earth first.
Move it.
- Ow, stop it.
- No, don't touch me.
- I was sitting there first.
- There you go.
Oh, hey.
Whoa, hey, hey, hey, hey, shh, shh.
On an airplane.
Here we go.
Now it's a family vacation.
Folks, we have a young man up here in the cockpit.
Says he lost his pony.
And insists on flying the plane.
David, are you out there? Tell them that I can fly this bird.
I've practiced all day.
He's ours.