Sexy Beasts (2021) s02e02 Episode Script

1
One of my doubts about you was that
you haven't been in a relationship before,
so why do you think that is?
I just go for the wrong people.
What about you?
I used to, like, get myself into
some weird situations.
No, nothing weird about this.
[narrator] Let's face it,
when it comes to dating,
it's all about looks.
- I was on the cover of Playboy.
- [slurping]
So, in this show we've made
everyone look ridiculous.
I think it looks like a ball bag.
Could you fall in love
based only on personality?
This could possibly be love.
And would you change your mind
when you saw their real face?
- Wow, wow, wow.
- Welcome to the weirdest blind date ever.
Are you ready to marry me?
This is Sexy Beasts.
And this is Ibukun,
a Harvard graduate
and project manager from Atlanta, Georgia.
I've been single for two and a half years.
I'm kinda nervous, not gonna lie.
If I could find somebody solid
who is cool and laid back
and goofy and real,
I think that's super attractive.
Well, one of these three
could be your perfect match.
But what are you bringing to the table?
Any good pickup lines?
I really don't have game like that.
As far as, like, being a Don Juan, nah.
I I don't got it.
If roasting was a love language
it would be my number one,
because I am the king of the goofballs.
Am I gonna be roasting my dates today?
Hell yeah.
[laughing]
Great.
So, let's meet the three ladies who need
to ready themselves for a roasting.
First up is Dani, a sales consultant
from Bedfordshire, England.
I've had two long-term relationships,
and they slowly crashed and burned.
I want the next person that
I bring home to be kind,
don't be a dick, don't be rude.
Just be nice. It's not hard.
So, aside from not being a dick,
what else in a guy
would get our fly buzzing?
I'm definitely looking for someone
to get into trouble with.
A guy needs to be your best friend
that you wanna bonk.
And who wouldn't want to, uh, bonk a fly?
People have fetishes, like, about feet.
Why not flies?
Okay.
Hoping that Ibukun hasn't
got a penchant for pests
is Jada, a student from Florida.
I'm hoping to see if I really am
the catch that I think I am
without my face.
Sounds like there's something
pretty special lurking under that latex.
My face is typically the kicker for me.
My personality is always just a plus.
I am a WAP.
Um, yeah. A A what?
Wonderful-ass personality.
Oh, thank God.
Uh, well, let's hope Ibukun agrees.
I wonder what he looks like.
I wonder what he's gonna say.
I wonder what we're gonna talk about.
I'm super excited!
[laughing]
We've got a super excited WAP
on our hands, people.
This could get interesting.
Finishing our trio of terrifying
temptresses is Oksana,
a teacher from Sacramento, California.
I've dated the cheater.
I've dated the best friend.
They didn't work out. So, here we are.
I do tend to get a lot of guys
that hit on me,
but it's not usually the ones
that you want.
Someone actually said,
"Are you from Tennessee?
'Cause you're the only ten I see."
Are we back in 2002?
Never say that again.
Well, at least the mummy's
got no pickup lines.
So, how you feeling about
your fleecy face?
I do think I rely on my looks.
Right now,
I know I look great, so it's fine.
Greatest of all time,
right here. I love it.
But will Ibukun think she's the GOAT, too?
Let's find out, as he speed-dates
our three freaky femmes.
- I'm Dani.
- Ibukun.
Oh, wow.
Think like Pikachu, but Ibukun.
- Oh, Pikachu's so cute.
- Yeah.
After the dates, he'll kick out
whoever he connected with the least.
These ears are so funny to me.
- My beard. Do you like this?
- The beard, I'm trying not to notice it.
And her real face will be revealed.
- I don't drink things I can't see through.
- Why?
I like people to keep it transparent
with me, just like my drinks.
Who's gonna perk up his pyramid?
- I'm a teacher.
- What?
My favorite is high school,
like, freshmen.
They're just, like, really sweet.
- They're still growing in their skin.
- Such a good answer.
I love people who can teach skills.
That says something about
how you communicate.
Just don't do seniors and you're fine.
They're just rated R.
Yes. [chuckling]
I was not one of the R-rated seniors.
I was in my books.
It's corny to hit on a teacher.
- I am the one that that makes the party.
- Wow, wow. Okay.
- And I saw that with confidence.
- Wow, okay.
She had a lot of confidence.
A very powerful presence.
- To know me is to love me, I can say.
- To me, that's super attractive.
I'm trying to picture
what you look like underneath.
I think the things you can see
are super important. Like the eyes?
- Yeah.
- Striking.
Well, you can't see it,
but I'm blushing. [giggling]
When she said she was blushing,
it was cute.
Not gonna lie.
I was like, okay, I got some points.
If you had a type, what would you say?
I like them to be charming and confident,
'cause I think confidence
is really important.
If you're an empty cup
you can't fill another cup.
You gotta be happy.
If you're not happy, you're not happy.
She's not wrong.
If you're not happy, you're not happy.
When did this show get so deep?
What's your normal type?
- I don't have a type.
- I knew you'd say that.
- And I hate it, I hate it.
- Don't execute me now.
I like a guy that can show me a good time,
show me something I've never done.
Can you make me remember you
and want to hang out with you?
Wow. My chest got a little tight.
[laughing]
The house that I live in,
it's, like, 300 years old.
[exhales sharply]
Whoa.
Are you not scared of, like, ghosts?
There's things that go bump in the night.
When you say bump in the night,
is it, like, big bumps,
or, like, understandable bumps?
[hesitates] Big bumps.
[both laughing]
What is your most embarrassing story?
One of my family members
was getting married,
and I brought a date with me.
You know, weddings,
you're eating the whole time
Yeah.
So, I think my stomach was
just super upset, and
[whimpers]
The Uber ride home, I started, you know,
just lay some gassy bombs, you know?
- This is what happens.
- So, in your sleep, you You farted?
Yeah. Uh-huh. That's it.
- Okay. That's a good answer.
- What about you? Gimme yours.
I was six years old,
I had just learned to ride a bike,
and my feet get caught in the spokes.
It's just like bike, me, bike, me.
All I wanted to do was cry and go home.
Your embarrassing story's
not embarrassing! This is not fair.
You owe me a real
embarrassing story. [giggling]
When it's me and my friend group,
we be cracking jokes,
roasting each other
You like roasting your friends?
- That's my love language.
- Oh.
I hate you so much for saying that,
because I said if roasting was
a love language, that'd be my top.
[laughing]
She stole the words from my mouth.
That's a win, any day of the week.
Thank you.
Have you ever, um,
taken that exam about love languages?
- No. What's that?
- Okay.
Basically, it's this idea where people
receive and give love in different ways.
Okay.
I thought love language was
a bit more like sexy talk,
and a bit more of this and that.
Oh, she's fluent in sign language.
So, was anyone other than Dani
speaking the language of love today?
I definitely think that we had chemistry.
I've never not gotten a second date,
and I'm pretty confident that
that's gonna continue.
I would like to go on another date.
I think the experience is really fun,
but his embarrassing story
wasn't embarrassing at all.
Oh, he is a really cool guy.
I'm hoping that I've got certain features
about me that have attracted him.
I could show him a good time.
[laughing]
They were three very dynamic individuals
with super unique personalities,
but I'm making this decision
purely based on chemistry.
When you feel that click,
you feel that click.
But who did our mummy
click with the least?
We'll find out at Sexy Beasts Manor,
a stately home designed for dumping.
Rated one star on TripAdvisor
because of too much heartbreak.
One of our ladies is
about to be eliminated
and have her real face revealed.
Good evening, ladies.
It was a pleasure
to get to know all of you.
Jada,
I really love your vibrance
and confidence.
The fact that roasting is one of
your love languages is great.
Dani,
I really appreciated your depth,
and the happiness
that you bring to a room.
Oksana,
I respect your life philosophy.
I also think it's super admirable that
you give so much through teaching.
Unfortunately, I have to lose someone.
And the person I'm losing is
[tense music playing]
Oksana.
- Oksana's been taught a valuable lesson.
- Okay.
Fart stories and first dates
don't always mix.
So good to meet you guys.
I'm not that disappointed.
Ibukun was super nice,
but he wasn't for me.
If I see her and she's breathtaking,
I stand by my decision.
I made my choice on
personality and chemistry.
That's what this is all about.
He's not wrong,
and that lack of chemistry
means the goat's gotta go.
Time to wave the wool goodbye
and meet the real Oksana.
Wow!
Well, I wouldn't kick her out of
my cab for a gassy bomb.
We're sat here like this,
and she's gonna be smoking hot.
[Jada] Yeah.
- [Jada] Wow.
- [Dani] You're stunning.
[Ibukun] That's crazy.
Sheesh.
[Jada] Oksana, is that you?
Girl, you look good!
So, this is me, not as a goat.
- The red dress is a very good choice.
- Thank you.
- I knew you'd be cute, but you're hot.
- Thank you.
Okay, keep going. [giggling]
That's nice, when you walk in
and everyone goes, "Wow."
I said I wasn't gonna be disappointed,
and I'm gonna stand by that.
However, she is gorgeous.
So, the mummy thinks Oksana's a honey.
But what will she think when she gets
a look beneath Ibukun's pharaoh face?
Yeah, he's handsome.
Probably not my type, but not ugly.
Ah, the coveted "not ugly."
Dani and Jada now have one more chance
to court our corpse
before he chooses his sexy beast
and we find out what they all look like.
Is Jada still confident?
I have never had to fight
over a man in my life.
I'm pretty sure I can hook his attention.
That'll be a yes, then.
And for her date, Jada's off with Ibukun
to the historic city of Cambridge
for a truly romantic boat ride
on the river.
And doesn't she look delighted?
- [crashing]
- Oh, my God.
Hey, you're gonna be fine, I promise.
And I don't got no life jacket on.
While Ibukun tries to soothe Jada,
allow me to introduce Matteo.
Take a good look at his face now,
because from here on in
you'll mainly be seeing his groin.
In the rare event that we do,
like, capsize
I can count on you to
jump in and save me, right?
- Listen, Jada
- [giggling]
Okay. I like the smoothness.
I like the smoothness.
He definitely made me feel cozy.
It was very effortless.
I truly felt special in that moment.
I felt really comfortable,
and feel comfortable, around Jada.
It felt like the right thing to do
in that moment.
Hearing you speak about your passions
to me was so attractive. I feel like
It just made me want to, like,
appreciate you, you know what I'm saying?
I don't know how to put that into words,
but that's how it made me feel.
That was I like that.
- I don't know what to say to that.
- [Matteo] Wait.
- Just enjoy the moment.
- I don't know what to say.
Yeah, the moment might have passed.
Sorry, guys.
The pole gets stuck sometimes. I lost it.
Oh, you're fine.
He lost He lost
Like, it
- [crashing]
- Jesus Christ.
- There's the pole, if you have a look.
- Wow. Ooh.
I have a theory that
the young man lost the pole on purpose
because he's seeing
how much of a good time we're having,
and he wanted to
keep it up for as long as he could.
I do think it was destiny
for the pole to get stuck.
Right up until a nice man in a blue
pullover laughed in the face of destiny
and gave it back.
You said roasting is your love language.
I'm not gonna tell you to roast me now,
'cause there's nothing
to roast, obviously.
I'm kinda like a homebody.
Me and my friends hang out
and make brownies and drink wine, so
- That, to me, is a good time.
- So you got a grandma side too?
- Okay, it's not a grandma side.
- Okay, okay.
I'm not no grandma now.
Ain't nothing grandma about this, okay?
She says, with a plaid blanket
keeping her legs warm.
I think he just used that
for lack of better words.
I don't think he thinks I'm a grandma,
'cause this grandma can Can get down.
Before Jada pushes Ibukun into the river,
Matteo sensibly steers them back to
shore for some post-punt Prosecco.
I will say, like, this has been
probably the most perfect date
I've been on in my life.
So, scale of one to ten, how close?
I'm going to give this date a solid ten.
That's a big compliment. I don't think
I ever received something that nice.
I would have to echo that as probably
being one of my, like, best dates.
The way that she thinks
and the way that she moves is sexy,
so if that could be completed
with the way she looks? Oof.
I like my mask,
I don't think I look mischievous.
It's kind of like a mix between,
like, the Grinch and It.
[laughing]
I think the chemistry between us
is undeniable, honestly.
I felt like a pretty woman.
Even though I was looking at
his dead face, he made me feel pretty.
[laughing]
Dani definitely has,
like, a lot to compete with,
but I have faith in her, too.
Cheers to a great date and great company.
I don't really care what type of date
they have, because the man is mine.
So, it looks like Dani needs to create
some serious buzz to beat off Jada.
I'm gonna try and make him laugh,
but I'm hoping that we just click
and we vibe, and we get on really well.
Well, she's in luck,
because nothing has been proven
to induce a romantic vibe
more than a few plastic jungle animals
and a round of mini-golf.
- Stand back.
- Stay Okay.
We're so classy.
I've played mini-golf maybe twice before,
so I'm not the greatest at it.
But I'm super competitive.
[Ibukun] Har-harr!
Oh, what a charming laugh.
- I'll let you restart.
- [laughing]
Do you think my face, like, resembles,
like, body parts? [chuckling]
On the nose, it kinda looks like sausages.
Uh, sausages,
or are we thinking something else?
Oh, no, no, no.
I wasn't even going there, uh
I think it looks like a ball bag.
A really old man's ball bag. [giggling]
If you're an old man and your ball sack
does look like that, call a doctor now.
I feel bad for you.
You must feel like you're underwater.
It's horrible. It's like ear boobs.
That's what I keep calling them.
Or eye boobs.
- Are they squishy? Can I?
- Yeah, you can give it a grope.
Oh, my God, you proper grabbed it!
- You well grabbed. [laughing]
- We'll take that, we'll take that.
- [buzzing]
- [shrieking]
[laughing]
I really just don't do bees.
I don't do bees at all,
in any shape or form,
so if I see a team of them
coming for me, I'm out.
A team of bees? Come on.
Everyone knows
the collective noun is a crapload.
- Hey!
- Wahey!
- There was definitely a connection.
- Oh, yeah.
I felt a bit of a spark.
[laughing]
Definitely had a click.
There was a good vibe there.
He's a really cool guy.
- Don't give it that much
- I'll let you do the swing.
Oh, now, this is a classic mini-golf play.
- You want me to swing again?
- Yeah.
Firm grip on the shaft,
line up for a good stroke,
and then swing your wood.
- You said you wanted me to swing
- I know, I got excited.
I think he was just trying to,
like, snuggle up to me, really.
Wanted another feel of my eye boobs.
Why? Why'd you make me lose?
We both lost on that one.
There's this one time I had a date,
not only did she knock my drink over,
but as she did,
she farted very audibly loud.
No way.
It was a loud and proud
[buzzing]
He's back for you. The bee is back.
[whimpering]
I definitely found
the banter with him good fun.
- I feel like I'm flying.
- Oh, yeah.
Especially when he could laugh off
that he was scared of bees.
[laughing] It's gone.
In my defense, it was a strategy.
I was taking the bees away from her,
and diverting their attention
so she could stay safe.
Yeah, sure.
Golf mastered, our potential lovebirds
find the perfect activity to warm up,
look sexy, and avoid bees.
- Great day for an ice lolly.
- I know, right?
It was a good date.
You were great company
with the interesting nose,
and the eyeballs really did it for me.
- That's 'cause I let you squeeze them.
- [laughing]
If you can't laugh with someone,
that is gonna be one boring relationship.
Yeah, I completely agree. And you have to
be able to laugh at that person.
- I definitely laughed at you today.
- Yeah, I know you did.
I heard you when I left for those bees.
They're both great people, and their
energies are completely different.
This decision is going to be
tough for sure.
Assuming he's not been attacked
by another team of bees,
Ibukun has returned to the manor
and will now choose his sexy beast.
Will he climb back aboard
the love boat with Jada?
- [crashing]
- Oh, Jesus Christ.
Or have the irresistible
eye boobs won it for Dani?
You can give it a grope.[laughing]
Ladies, I want to thank you
for the time that you spent with me.
Both of you connected with me
in amazing ways, and
And I really enjoyed both dates.
Dani, I think we had
a lot of the same values,
and I think you're a great person
with a great head on your shoulders.
Jada, I appreciated our back-and-forths,
you make me feel energized and alive,
and I think you just have
a great energy about you.
This has been
an incredibly difficult decision,
but I have made my choice.
And my sexy beast is
[tense music playing]
Jada.
Congratulations.
The fly's been swatted, and Jada cannot
wipe the smile off her face. Literally.
[Dani] I'm a little bit disappointed.
I did feel, like, a click.
I thought he was a really nice guy.
I felt so bad having to let Dani down,
but I think that I genuinely made
the best decision for me.
It would be the perfect ending
if he turns out to be my ideal guy,
but he already is, without his looks.
This could possibly be love.
Whoa. Big talk.
We'll see Jada's real face
and discover if it is love in a moment,
but first let's unwrap our yummy mummy
to reveal the real Ibukun.
Well, if that's what mummification does
for you, sign me up.
But before Ibukun meets his sexy beast,
here's what Dani looks like
once we've turned her into a no fly zone.
Refreshingly, there's no
old man's ball sack in sight,
but there is some amazing ink work.
Time for Ibukun to see what he's let go
as we move back into
the Great Hall of Romance
where they'll meet each other
for the first time.
- [Ibukun] Wow.
- [Dani] Hey.
- How are you?
- I'm good, how are you?
- It's good to see you.
- And you.
- That's what you look like under the mask.
- I know.
- I never would've guessed. At all.
- No, didn't you?
That's crazy.
You look really good, though.
- Thanks.
- I like the dress and shoes.
And the tattoos. Wow.
Dani is gorgeous, and she looks
nothing like I thought she would.
It's good to see you
without the balls on your head.
The b [laughing]
Yeah, the same. You look good.
I think there was chemistry,
especially when he walked in.
There was a little bit of flirting.
Obviously, I'm gonna flirt a bit. Why not?
- It was great seeing you.
- And you. Take care.
I'm feeling a teeny bit upset
I didn't choose her,
but I still think I made the right choice.
[quietly] Wow!
Here we go.
One more reveal for Ibukun,
as he finally meets his sexy beast.
She thinks it could possibly be love,
but will they both feel that way
when they meet for the very first time?
[quietly] Wow.
Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
I could say the same.
You look amazing. I love this dress.
Thank you.
Whoa.
If all grandmas looked this good,
family parties would get really awkward.
- Do you think you made the right choice?
- I know I made the right choice.
[sighs] Jada.
[exhales sharply]
Wow.
I just told myself, like,
okay, if he's ugly, like, it's okay.
You were gonna fake it?
I was gonna fake it.
Ibukun has the personality
and the looks to match.
Can you do a A spin for me?
I like, I like, I like.
There's definitely more roasting sessions
to come, and possibly some romance.
We all knew that I was going to
take the man home, and I did.
[Ibukun] Yeah.
I have squashed that fly.
Eh, anything a bit more on message?
I think this is
the start of something new.
Aw, lovely.
- I feel like we should get outta here.
- I think so, too.
Mm.
- Convince me I need you.
- I peed in the soup.
I'm in here like swimwear.
You're beautiful
- Devon and Nigel making tarts together ♪
- I'll make them touch it.
- [groaning]
- It's intense.
[theme music playing]