Shakespeare: The Animated Tales (1992) s02e02 Episode Script

A pair of stocks.
you rogue! Oh! Grim death, how foul and loathsome is thy visage? Sirs, I will practise on this drunken man.
Huh! Oh, for God's sake, a pol of small ale.
- Your Honour.
- Your Lordship.
Call me not honour nor lordship.
Am I not Christopher Sly, Old Sly's son of Burtonheath? Thou art a lord and nothing but a lord.
These fifteen years you have been in a dream.
Mmm.
These fifteen years! By my fay.
a goodly nap Upon my life, I am a lord indeed.
Your doctors thought it good you hear a play And frame your mind to mirth and merriment.
Well, we'll see it.
Gentlemen, importune me no further For how I firmly am resolved you know That is not to bestow my youngest daughter before I have a husband for the elder.
Ou! If either of you both love Katharina Leave shall you have to court her at your pleasure.
To rt her, rather - she's too rough for me.
I pray you, sir, is it your will to make a stale of me among these mates? Mates, maid? No mates for you Unless you were of gentler, milder mould.
- Bleuggh! - From all such devils, good Lord deliver us.
And me too, good Lord.
Bian, gtl you in.
Let it not displease thee, good Bian, for I will love thee ne'er the less, my girl.
- A pretty peat! - Sister, content you in my discontent.
Sir, to your pleasure humbly I subscribe.
Why will you mew her up, Signior Baptista, for this fiend of hell? - Huh! - Gentlemen, content ye; I am resolved.
- Katharina, you may stay.
- Why, and I trust I may go too, may I not? Hal Well, wall.
What a Matched stale of affairs.
Old Baptista will never give his consent to the marriage of the fair Bianca Not until a husband is found for Katharina.
What happy gale blows you to Padua here from old Verona? Such wind as scatters young men through the world.
Signior Horlzensio, I me to wive it wealthily in Padua If wealthily, then happily in Padua.
I can, Petruchio, help thee to a wife With wealth enough and young and beauteous Brought up as best becomes a gentlewoman Her only fault and that is faults enough Is that she is intolerable curst and shrewd and froward I would not wed her for a mine of gold.
Hortensio, peace! Thou know'st not gold's effect.
I will not sleep, Hortensio, till I see her.
Good sister, wrong me not Nor wrong yourself to make a bondmaid and a slave of me.
Ugh! Why, how now, dame! Whence grows this insolence? For shame, thou holding of a devilish spirit why dost thou wrong her that did ne'er wrong thee? Bianca, get thee in.
Nay, now I see, she is your treasure She must have a husband I must dance barefoot on her wedding day Talk not to me! I will go sit and weep Till I can find occasion for revenge.
Oh! Was ever gentleman thus grieved as I? But who mes here? I am a gentleman of Verona, sir, Petruchio is my name Pray, have you not a daughter call'd Katharina, fair and virtuous? I have a daughter, sir, called Katharina.
Signior Baptista, my business asketh haste And every day I cannot me to woo Then tell me, if I gel your daughter's love, what dowry shall I have with her to wife? After my death the one half of my lands and in possession twenty thousand crowns.
Let covenants be therefore drawn between us.
Ay, when the special thing is well obtain'd, that is, her love - For that is all in all.
- Why, that is nothing.
Well mayst thou woo and happy be thy speed But be thou armed for some unhappy words - Shall I send my daughter Kale to you? - I pray you do I'll attend her here.
Oh! Good morrow, Kale, for that's your name, I hear.
Well have you heard.
But something hard of hearing - they ll me Katharine that do talk of me.
You lie, in faith, for you are call'd plain Kale And bonny Kale, and sometimes Kale the Cure! But Kate, the prettiest Kate in Christendom Hearing thy mildness praised in every town Thy virtue spoke of and thy beauty sounded Myself am moved to woo thee for a wife.
Moved in good time.
Let him that moved you hither remove you hen.
Come, me, you wasp, I' faith you are too angry.
If I be waspish, best beware my sling! My remedy then is to pluck it out.
Ay, if the fool could find it where it lies.
Who knows not where a wasp does wear his sling? - In his tail! - om Oh! And so farewell.
Nay, me again, good Kale, I am a gentleman.
"That: I'll try.
I swear I'll cuff you, if you strike again.
If you strike me you are no gentleman.
In sooth, you 'pa not so.
Let me go! Why does the world report that Kate doth limp? O slanderous world! Kate, like the hazel twig, is straight and slender O, let me see thee walk - thou dost not halt.
Go, fool! - Am I not wise? - Yes, keep you warm.
Marry so, I mean, sweet Katharine In thy bed.
Now, Kale, I am a husband for your tum For I am he am born to tame you, Kate And bring you from a wild Kale To a Kate conformable as other household Kates.
Now, Signior Petruchio, how speed you with my daughter? How but well, sir? We have 'greed so well together that upon Sunday is the wedding day.
I'll see thee hang'd on Sunday first.
Tis bargain'd 'twixt us twain, being alone That she shall still be curst in company I tell you, 'tis incredible to believe how much she loves me O, the kindest Kale She hung about my neck and kiss on kiss she vied so fast That in a twink she won me to her love.
I know not what to say But give me your hands God send you joy, Petruchio, 'tis a match.
Provide the feast, Father, and bid the guests I will to Venice; Sunday comes apace We will have rings and things and fine array And kiss me, Kate we will be married o'Sunday.
Ah! It was Sunday, the bride was ready and everyone awaited the coming of the bridegroom.
They waited and they waited and they waited.
I told you, I, he was a frantic fool Now must the world point at poor Katharine and say 'Lo! There is mad Petruchio's wife - if it would please him come and many her!' Go, girl, I cannot blame thee now to weep For such an injury would vex a saint.
Master! Master! News! And such news as you never heard of.
Is he me? Where is Kale? The morning wears - 'tis time we were in church.
But thus, I trust, you will not marry her.
Good sooth, even thus To me she's married, not unto my clothes.
But what a fool am I to chat with you when I should bid good morrow to my bride And seal the title with a lovely kiss.
Mmmmwahl Gentlemen and friends, I thank you for your pains I know you think to dine with me today But so it is, my haste doth ll me hen Is't possible you will await a night? I must away before night me.
Oh! Let me entreat you to stay till after dinner.
- It cannot be.
- Let me entreat you.
Now, if you love me, slay.
- Grumio, my horse.
- Nay, then.
Do what thou canst, I will not go today No, nor to-morrow, not till I please myself.
Gentlemen, forward to the bridal dinner.
They shall go forward, Kate at thy command.
Obey the bride, you that attend on her.
Go to the feast and rouse full measure to her maidenhead But for my bonny Kale, she must with me I will be master of what is mine own.
Mistress, what is your opinion of your sister? That being mad herself, she's madly mated! Now, in Petruchio's house in Verona, servants are making ready for the arrival of the master and his wife.
Where be these knaves? What? No man at door to hold my stirrup, nor to take my horse? - Here, sir.
- Here, sir.
Here, sir.
Go, rascals, go and fetch my supper in.
J' Where is the life that lilo I led? J' Be merry, Kale.
Some water, here.
What ho! Come, Kate, and wash and welcome heartily.
You whorason villain! Will you let it fall? Patten, I pray you, 'Mas a fault unwilling.
Mm, a whoreson, beetle-headed flap-ear'd knavel Come, Kale, sit down I know you have a stomach.
What's this? - Mutton? - Ayl 'Tis burnt! I pray you, husband, be not so disquiet - the meat was well.
I tell thee, Kate, 'twas burnt and dried away And better 'twere that both of us did fast Come, I will bring thee to thy bridal chamber.
Peter, didst ever see the like? He kills her in her own humour.
Mmm! And thus have I politicly begun my reign.
Last night she slept not Nor tonight she shall not He that knows better how to tame a shrew Now let him speak.
While Kale was learning one lesson, her sister, the fair Bianca, was leaming another.
Lucentio, a rich young man from Pisa, cunningly disguised as a schoolmaster had outbid his rivals and won her hand and heart.
What, master, read you? The Art To Love.
And may you prove, sir, master of your art.
While you, sweet dear, prove mistress of my heart.
- Om - Ah! Horlzensio and Gremio gave up their hopes for Bian's love.
Gremio retired to his money banks and Hortensio decided to many a rich widow.
First he called at his friend Petruchio's house.
Mistress, what cheer? Faith, as cold as can be.
Pluck up thy spirits.
Here, love, thou seest how diligent I am to dress thy meat myself? What? Not a word? Nay then thou lovest it not.
Here, take away this dish.
- I pray you, let it stand.
- The poorest service is repaid with thanks.
And so shall mine before you touch the meat.
I thank you Sir.
Kate! Eat apace And now, my honey love, we will return unto thy father's house And revel it as bravely as the best With silken coats and caps and golden rings What, hast thou dined? The tailor stays thy leisure.
Here is the cap your worship did bespeak.
Why, 'tis a cockle or a walnut shell A baby's pl Come let me have a bigger.
I'll have no bigger - gentlewomen wear such caps as these.
When you are gentle, you shall have one too and not till then.
That will not be in haste.
Thy gown, me, tailor, let us see it.
What's this? A sleeve? Carved like an apple tart? Here's snip and nip And cut and slish And slash.
I'll none of it! Away, thou rag, thou quantity Thou remnant.
I never saw a better-fashion'd gown.
Hortensio, say thou wilt see the tailor paid.
Well, me, my Kale, we will unto your father's Even in these honest, mean habiliments Our purses shall be proud, our garments poor For 'tis the mind that makes the body rich.
Let's see, I think 'tis now some seven o'clock And well may we me there by dinner-time.
I dare assure you, sir, 'tis almost two.
It shall be what o'clock I say it is.
Why, so this gallant will command the sun.
Come on, i'God's name, on more towards our father's.
Good Lord, how bright and goodly shines the moon.
The moon! The sun; it is not moonlight now.
I say it is the moon that shines so bright.
I know it is the sun that shines so bright.
Evermore cross'd and cross'd, nothing but cross'd.
Forward.
I pray And be it moon or sun or what you please - I say it is the moon.
- I know it is the moon.
Nay, then you lie, it is the blessed sun.
Then, God be bless'd, it is the blessed sun But sun it is not when you say it is not And the moon changes even as your mind What you shall have it named, even that it is And so it shall be so for Katharine.
And so they came to Padua.
Hortensio married his rich widow and Bianca married her lover Lucentio.
And afterwards, there was a great banquet.
Now, in good sadness, son Petruchio I think thou hast the veriest shrew of all.
Well, I say no And therefore for assurance let's each one send unto his wife And he whose wife is most obedient shall win the wager which we will propose.
Content! What's the wager? - Twenty crowns? - Twenty crowns? I'll venture so much of my hawk or hound but twenty times so much upon my wife.
- A hundred, then.
- A match, 'tis done.
- Who shall begin? - That will I.
Go bid my mistress me to me.
How now.
What news? Sir, your mistress sends you word that she is busy and she cannot me.
How? She's busy and she cannot me? Is that an answer? O pray God, sir, your wife send you not a worse.
Go and entreat my wife to me to me forthwith.
O, ho! Entreat her! Nay than she needs must come.
I'm afraid, sir, do what you n, yours will not be entreated.
Now, where's my wife? She will not me, she bids you me to her.
Worse and worse; she will not me O vile, intolerable, not to be endured Go to your mistress, say I command her to come to me.
- I know her answer! - What? She will not.
What is your will, sir, that you send for me? Where is your sister and Hortensio's wife? They sit conferring by the parlour fire.
Away, I say, and bring them hither straight.
Here is a wonder, if you talk of wonder.
Now, fair befall thee, good Petruchio, the wager thou hast won And I will add unto their losses twenty thousand crowns Another dowry to another daughter For she is changed as she hath never been.
Nay, I will win my wager better yet Katharine, that cap of yours becomes you not Off with that bauble.
Lord! Let me never have use to sigh Till I be brought to such a silly pass.
Fie! What a foolish duly call you this? I wish your duly were as foolish too The wisdom of your duly, fair Bianca Hath cost me a hundred crowns sin supper-time.
The more fool you for laying on my duly.
Katharine, I charge thee, tell these headstrong women What duly they do owe their lords and husbands.
She shall null Fie, fie! Unknit that threatening, unkind brow It blots thy beauty A woman moved is like a fountain troubled Muddy, ill-seeming Thick, bereft of beauty Thy husband is thy lord Thy life, thy keeper One that res for thee And for thy maintenance commits his body to painful labour both by sea and land Whilst thou lies! warm at home, secure and safe And craves no other tribute at thy hands But love Fair looks and true obedience Too little payment for so great a debt.
Why, there's a wench Come on, and kiss me, Kale 'Twas I won the wager And being a winner, God give you good night.
Gel me some more wine.
What, have all the players gone? Oh.
Am I not alone? Oh! I have had the bravest dream I know now how to tame a shrew.
A pair of stocks.
you rogue!