Shtisel (2013) s02e02 Episode Script

1
Nuchem!
PREVIOUSLY ON
You're here already?
Where are you?
In your kitchen, eating lunch.
"Welcome", Kive, that's the word
you're looking for.
Uncle Nuchem, when did you land?
Welcome.
-I hope she's comfortable in my bed.
-Who?
Libbi?
I'm sorry I took your room.
You're up because of me.
-Oh, no, no, no.
-How come you're not engaged yet?
-You're not 18 anymore.
-That's why I came to Israel,
to find someone.
"Orthodox family needed
that's expecting a boy
to name him after a religious man
who passed away without issues."
You want to name the child
after a stranger?
I'll pay you in two installments,
$25,000 each.
-I feel strange selling my baby's name.
-I never had a child.
We'll call him Zelig
-for free.
-But, Giti
We thought you'd pay us
a small amount after all.
Abot Barkai Productions
Talisma Productions
Created by
Yehonatan Indursky and Ori Elon
Dov Glickman
Michael Aloni
Sasson Gabay
Neta Riskin
Zohar Strauss
Shira Haas
Hadas Yaron
Casting
Hila Yuval
Executive Producers
Eitan Abot and Guy Hameiri
Line Producers
Isca Gur-Luzon and Aviv Ben Shlush
Art Director
Shimri Gal Novack
Music
Avi Belleli
Cinematography
Roey Roth
Editor
Gilad Ariel
Screenplay Editor
Sayed Kashua
Screenplay
Ori Elon and Yehonatan Indursky
Executive Producer and Editor
Dikla Barkai
Director
Alon Zingman
SHTISEL
Listen to this.
Mrs. Stefansky substituted
for Mrs. Mann yesterday,
she walked into class
with two huge garbage bags
full of skirts, blouses, dresses, socks.
She took them out one by one
and started to explain.
"This is modest, this is indecent,
this is modest"
Then she takes out a pair of jeans
and just holds them up, shocked,
without saying a word.
We were laughing so hard.
Sorry, I pressed too hard.
-It's not you, it's starting.
-Should I call an ambulance?
There's no need for that.
Call your father, tell him to come quick,
we'll take a cab.
He's not picking up.
I'll go with you, Mom.
No, no, I want you to stay home
with the kids.
I don't want them to wake up
and find no one here, okay?
Call a cab, okay?
The problem with these investments
is that you can find yourself
stone broke, you know?
The stock market
is like legal Russian roulette.
That's what it is.
-Roulette, but it's--
-Legal.
I got it.
But if I invest the money
in foreign currency as you said,
how long before I make a profit?
Listen, buddy, these investments
are all about patience.
It's not about waving a magic wand.
This is the fourth call from home,
I have to take it.
Do what you have to do, no pressure.
Patience, my friend, that's all.
Thank you.
-Yes?
-Finally. Where are you?
Mom's in labor, she's at the hospital,
she took a cab.
What?
Really?
Mazel Tov.
She said to tell you to go
to the hospital.
Yes, of course, I'm leaving right now.
Are you home with the kids?
-Yes. Let me know what's going on.
-Of course I will, my dear child.
Okay then, I'm off.
Listen, my wife is in the hospital.
She's in labor, I have to run.
I need you to invest the money
in something profitable,
but not too risky,
it's my children's money,
I can't play around with it.
No problem, that's what we'll do.
-Congratulations, my friend.
-All right then.
Your hat.
Can you fall asleep in the living room?
Is the couch comfortable?
Don't worry,
I won't inconvenience you forever.
On the contrary, stay as long as you want.
I'm just asking
if the couch is comfortable enough.
I thought maybe we'd take turns.
I'll sleep in your bed tonight
and you'll sleep on the couch, how's that?
Take turns? Nice idea. Sounds interesting.
Listen, I need you to help me
with something.
What?
I need a match for my princess
as soon as possible.
-Not enough men in Antwerp?
-Not anyone who's good enough for her.
She needs a studious, earnest young man.
Not some spoiled loser
with orthopedic shoes.
Let's
call Konigsberg.
Konigsberg, how are you?
Praise God. Listen
my brother Nuchem's here
with his daughter, from Antwerp.
Yes, exactly.
-Hold on, how old is she?
-Twenty three.
Twenty-one years old.
Yes, from Antwerp. She has brains, grace,
money, she has it all.
-Can you find her a good match?
-Tell him we'll give an apartment.
So, Konigsberg,
we're waiting for your offer.
Not proposals, a proposal.
The finest young man you have.
AKIVA SHTISEL
It's Grandfather's house.
-I haven't been there in years.
-Yes, what
Where did you find that?
Something fell under the bed,
I moved it and discovered
my cousin is an artist.
An artist I wouldn't say that.
There was a time
when I dabbled in drawing, that's all.
I found some really nice drawings.
You can take them,
I'm not into it anymore.
I'd love you to have them.
Sorry.
If God had given me such a gift
such a talent
I'd do my best not to waste it.
What can I do?
Well, I
have to get to the cheder.
Goodbye.
Are you sure you don't want an epidural?
It will relieve the pain.
How about laughing gas?
-No.
-No. Fine.
Giti.
Giti, dear.
Finally.
I need you so badly.
I'm here, my Giti.
Wait for me outside?
Yes, of course.
But don't go anywhere, okay?
I want to know
that you're right outside the door.
I'm right outside the door,
I'm not going anywhere.
Good.
And recite the Psalms, Lippe.
Like you mean it.
Of course, I will.
ENTRANCE PERMITTED
TO STAFF ONLY!
What
What's new in the paper?
-Dad?
-I'm listening, I'm listening.
I've been thinking
Are you listening to me?
I
I want to convert to Islam.
I'm kidding, Dad,
I want you to listen to me.
Why? That could be a good solution
for you.
Fine. Anyways, listen,
I have this thing tomorrow,
I want you to find a substitute
for a few hours.
-What thing?
-Nothing.
I wanted to take some of my drawings
to a few galleries
-and try to sell them.
-Galleries?
That is a thing.
A very important thing.
But why not do it after work?
It has to be in the morning.
It doesn't matter, I'll manage.
No, it does matter.
It matters very much. You're a teacher.
You can't just leave the class.
It's not a blacksmith's shop,
there are 35 kids
waiting for you in class.
All right, fine, forget about it.
I thought you were done
with those fantasies.
It's not fantasy, Father.
God gave me a gift, I want to use it,
that's all.
Wow.
A gift from God, no less.
Maybe it came with an gift receipt.
Never mind.
Take care.
Mrs. Renta, what
-How are you?
-It's so amazing.
I was so excited when you called
to tell me. Thank you.
I haven't told anyone yet,
-but I had to tell you.
-Thank you.
I brought some things for the baby.
-To spare you the hassle.
-Thank you so much.
-Do you think that's her?
-No, no, that's not her.
Giti never screams
when she's having a baby.
Aren't you going in?
We-- It's complicated.
In Jewish law the husband
mustn't be in the room during the delivery
and this is how Giti wants it, so
But I can go in to see her, right?
Giti, I want to examine you.
Spread your legs, pick them up a little.
Good.
This is great, Giti,
you're almost fully dilated, okay?
We're approaching the birth.
Great.
Very soon.
Giti.
-I wanted you to meet Professor Vishniak.
-Hello, nice to meet you.
He's the director of the ward, I asked him
to assign the finest obstetrician.
I also told your husband,
if there's anything you need,
you can talk to me.
Renta is an important friend
of the hospital.
Congratulations and good luck.
-I'm here if you need me.
-Thank you.
Thank you.
Do you need anything?
Thank God, I'm just fine.
-What I really need is to be alone.
-Sure, I understand. I'm leaving.
-May all be well, Giti.
-God willing.
Here.
Binyamin, here you go.
-Can I have some ketchup?
-Here.
-Not on the food.
-Of course not.
How about we call Dad
and ask if Mom had the baby?
No need to bother them.
They'll call when Mom has the baby,
don't worry.
-I wonder if it's a boy or not.
-I know it's a boy.
-Oh, yeah?
-I heard Mom and Dad talking.
-You did?
-Yes.
Ruchami, all the people in the world
come out of their mothers' bellies.
-Is that true?
-Yes, it is.
All the people in the world.
Okay, eat, no talking.
"Blessed are You, God,
King of the universe"
Giti, dear, what's going on?
Are congratulations in order?
Not yet, soon.
Lippe, did you tell her to come here?
No, not exactly.
She just asked us to tell her when
the baby was coming, so I called her.
She drove you crazy?
She makes me nervous. I don't know why.
Don't be nervous, she's gone.
From now on no one will enter your room.
You're the one I need here
to calm me down, not her.
That's okay, she's gone.
-Do you want me to come in?
-No, of course not.
Are you outside the door?
Yes, I was about to go to the balcony
to smoke a cigarette.
Okay.
You'll be fine, Giti, dear.
God willing.
-Lippe, how about singing me a song?
-You want me to sing to you?
-Is that really what you want?
-Yes, it will calm me down.
How about "Contentment and Gladness?"
Sure.
Contentment and gladness
Light for the Jews
Okay, Giti, push, give me one big push.
On this day of Sabbath Day of delights
Those who protect
And remember bear witness
That in six days all was created
And still endures
The most exalted heaven
Good, Giti, good!
Just a little bit more, Giti,
and we're done, sweetheart.
We're almost done.
You're fantastic, you're fantastic.
You're doing so well.
Look, the head is out.
One big push. Yes, fantastic! Yes!
Here he comes, here he comes.
Congratulations!
God is the rock of the universe
Giti?
"Blessed are You, God, through whose
word everything comes into being."
Amen.
That's good coffee, Shterzaleh.
Damn those evil people.
What are you listening to? Tchaikovsky?
-You know it?
-I don't remember it much.
Thank God. Here and there I hear
a familiar tune.
So, do you have a name?
Soon, patience.
I told him that we want
the most serious young man he's got.
He promised to get back to me
in a day or two.
Good. Thank you, Father.
Shterzaleh, don't worry.
We'll find you a worthy husband.
-But not some bookworm.
-God forbid.
We'll test him.
We'll put a scrumptious chocolate cake
on the table.
If he doesn't eat at least two slices,
we'll get rid of him then and there.
-How about that?
-Okay.
Good night, I'm going to sleep.
Good night, Shterzaleh, sweet dreams.
Libbi?
Libbi, are you up?
Libbi.
-Kive?
-Yes, forgive me, did I wake you?
Just a minute.
-Good morning, Libbi, forgive me.
-It's all right. What time is it?
Quarter to six. I'm so sorry.
I have to get something from the room,
it will only take a minute.
-All right, come in. You want me to leave?
-No, no.
It'll only take me a minute.
Forgive me. Thank you.
Where are you taking them?
I don't know.
We'll see where they take me.
Yes. If you could take the sixth graders.
Great, thank you.
-Good morning.
-Good morning. Your son called.
-Kive?
-Kive.
What did he want?
He said he has some urgent matter
and that he'd be two hours late,
he asked me to find him a replacement.
-I see.
-The thing is,
Rivlin is taking the third graders
and Gerlitz is taking the sixth graders,
I thought that perhaps
you could replace him.
Aliza, go to Akiva's class right now
and tell the children
that they can go home.
-What?
-Yes.
Then call Akiva and tell him he's fired.
Just like that?
I think that's too harsh.
Tell him in those exact words. Thank you.
I guess 8:00 a.m. is too early
for the galleries to be open.
Look, there's one open over there.
Right.
What's the worst that could happen?
Is anyone here?
The gallery opens
in four and a half minutes.
-Sorry, we'll wait outside.
-No, no, you can wait inside.
Thank you.
Good morning, friends.
Good morning.
Are you the owner?
Yes, Izzi Kaufman. How can I help you?
Yes
I brought some of my drawings
and I was thinking
-maybe you'd see something you like.
-Gladly, show them to me.
Thank you, but they're not for me.
-None of them?
-I'm sorry.
Listen, you have an abundance of talent,
but these drawings are no good.
They're boring.
They're pleasant, at best.
-Don't you agree?
-Yes, no-- Never mind.
-Thank you.
-But you know I'm right.
If you thought you had a drawing
that was really significant,
you would have brought only the one,
not all this fluff.
Good luck, young man.
The other galleries will open soon,
we'll try them.
There's no point.
He's right.
You're giving up so fast?
It's not that, I'm just
I told you, this is not for me.
-Kive.
-What?
Here's what we'll do.
I was planning on going
to Tel Aviv today.
I promised my mother
I'd buy her all kinds of things.
How about coming with me?
We'll go look at the sea.
No, Libbi, I don't think so, sorry.
I have to get to work.
Of course.
Yes? Hello, Aliza.
I'll be there in 15 minutes.
What?
What do you mean?
Is that what he said?
Are you sure?
Yes, I
All right, thank you, Aliza. Goodbye.
I've been fired.
My father.
What?
So you're out of work. Let's go.
Where's my baby?
I asked that he not be taken from me
-without my permission.
-Of course not, he's with your mother.
-Who?
-Your mother's in the waiting room.
You were sleeping so soundly.
I'm sorry.
That's okay, no harm done.
Take care, Renta.
Come, come, come, come.
Here, I'll change places with you,
so you can sit next to, your husband.
There you go.
Libbi.
So how many grandchildren is that?
You know the saying
"You don't count money or grandchildren."
Congratulations.
-Daddy.
-Where are you, Shterzaleh?
I've been trying to reach you
for two hours.
I'm with a girlfriend. What's going on?
You must come home as soon as possible.
-Why? What happened?
-Nothing.
I found you a perfect little pot.
You mean you closed the deal?
The huppah is all set. Really, Libbi,
the first meeting is tonight.
That's in less than two hours,
I want you to get ready.
He's not some nerd.
He's the crème de la crème.
When will you be back?
-I'm on my way.
-Make it fast.
Is this how you clean in your home?
You shove it all under the couch?
I don't clean in my house.
Kive, forgive me,
we have to go back to Jerusalem.
Don't you want to spend
just a few minutes at the sea?
We're nearly there.
No, it won't happen today. I
-You can go without me if you want.
-No way, I'll go back with you.
We'll get off
and take a shuttle taxi back.
Thank you. It's just that
my father set up a meeting
with the crème de la crème.
-"Damn those evil people."
-Good luck.
Thank you.
I made a purchase,
you owe me 2,000 shekels. Thanks.
Hello.
I'm so happy you're back.
-Look.
-How are you, my darlings?
-Mom, he looks like me.
-He's so cute.
I have to lie down and rest.
Children, Mom has to rest now.
Giving birth is difficult
and the new baby has to sleep too.
Binyamin, Chaimke, come.
Go back to your game,
let her rest, okay?
Ruchami, will you make dinner?
You make the salad, I'll make the omelets.
Okay, I'll be right there.
Giti
-are you feeling all right?
-I'm exhausted.
Would you like a hot drink?
Maybe later, thanks.
All right.
Lippe.
Yes?
I feel as if I'm losing my mind,
I don't know what to do.
About what?
I'm sad and I have this fear
in my heart.
It's all right, Giti, don't worry.
It will pass.
Listen
I was going to surprise you, but
maybe it will cheer you up
so I'll tell you now.
What?
I reserved a room for you for a week
at Telse Stone so you can recuperate.
You did?
Yes, I thought you deserved a rest.
They'll treat you like a queen.
I hear the food is fantastic,
there's all kinds of activities.
It'll do you good.
Maybe it is what I need.
How much does it cost?
Don't worry,
you just focus on taking it easy.
All right.
-Thank you, Lippe.
-Of course.
Lippe
Yes.
I have a favor to ask.
Whatever you need, Giti.
I'm afraid of that woman.
What woman?
Renta.
I don't know why,
but she makes me nervous.
What's there to be afraid of?
She's just a good, sad woman.
I want to call it off.
Call it off?
I'll call her
and tell her nicely that we decided
not to name him Zelig.
She'll find someone else
to name the baby for money
-just like she wanted.
-But why call it off, Giti?
She's a lonely widow,
we're doing a good deed.
-Why deny her this grace?
-She'll find someone else.
You saw how many people
were lined up in there.
How about thinking it over?
Go to sleep, okay?
We'll talk about it later.
I gave it enough thought.
Besides, I wanted to name him Jacob David.
After going through
all the grandparents' names--
I don't know what to say.
I feel bad, we promised.
What's her phone number?
Dial for me, I'll talk to her.
No, you rest.
I'll talk to her.
This tension is bad for you.
-Wouldn't you prefer I call her?
-No, no.
I'll make up some excuse.
Some grandfather we forgot
we have to name the baby after.
-Welcome.
-Hello, Uncle Shulem.
Indeed.
-Were you two out together?
-What?
Finally, I thought I'd have
to meet him without you.
He should be here any minute.
Hurry up, get ready.
You have 15 minutes to be
more beautiful than you already are.
Kive, do me a favor,
go to the store and get a poppy seed cake
and a bottle of Coke.
Get a move on.
And recite the Psalms on the way
for your cousin.
Are you out of your mind?
The money's working
and you're withdrawing it?
Shtruck, do me a favor,
it's a matter of marital peace.
Let me show you something,
"marital peace."
You see this line going up?
That's the forecast increase
of your investment.
-Give it time.
-But I don't have time, Shtruck.
I need the money. I have no choice.
"Marital peace."
Why did you even tell her?
Who tells the wife about business?
Can you get me the money or not?
Of course I can.
-Can I ask you a question, buddy?
-Yes.
Do you want to live in a two room
apartment your entire life?
Then take the money,
tend to your marital peace.
But if the answer is no, then trust me.
Patience.
You and your wife will thank me for this.
Don't just stand there.
Did you get what I asked for?
Put it on a plate and put it on the table.
I'll take you back to work tomorrow.
-On one condition.
-What?
I want an official, handwritten apology.
An apology and a commitment.
-That's all.
-Dad, are you serious?
Very.
Fine.
-What does "official" mean?
-You know what it means.
Write, "To the principal
of Shaarei Torah school,
Rabbi Shalom Shtisel," etc
Like you're writing a letter to your boss.
Don't write, "Dear Dad."
Apologize for not coming to work,
guarantee that you won't do it again
and sign your name.
That's what your boss demands of you
for you to come back to work.
-Fine, if it'll make you feel better.
-No, no, no.
It's not for me, it's for you.
So you stop roaming
this earth like a child
with a runny nose in the shtiebel.
"Blessed are You, God,
who creates the fruit of the ground."
TO THE PRINCIPAL OF TALMUD TORA
I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE
FOR THE INCIDENT THAT TOOK PLACE
Libbi?
Sorry for waking you again.
It's fine. I wasn't sleeping,
I was reading.
How did the meeting go?
Very good.
That's nice. That's nice.
-I have to get something.
-Of course, it's your room.
-Goodnight, Libbi.
-Goodnight.
-What is your name again?
-Akiva Shtisel.
Shtisel, this will do.
Nice to meet you, Shtisel.
Kvater, welcome.
"Happy is the man whom Thou choosest,
and bringest near,
that he may dwell in Thy courts
the holy place of Thy temple!"
We honor the Uncle Nuchem Shtisel
with the holding of the baby.
We honor the Uncle Akiva Shtisel
with the holding of the baby.
We honor the father, Lippe Weiss
with blessings.
"Hear O Israel,
the Lord our God is one."
"Hear O Israel,
the Lord our God is one."
"Blessed are You, God,
King of the universe,
who has commanded us
to perform the circumcision."
-Amen.
-Amen.
"Blessed are You, God,
King of the universe,
who has commanded us to enter his son
-into the covenant of Abraham."
-Amen.
"Blessed are you God,
King of the Universe,
who has granted us life, sustained us
-and enabled us to reach this occasion."
-Amen.
As he enters into the covenant,
so shall he study Torah,
wed and do good deeds.
"God of our fathers, sustain this child
for his father and mother
and may his name in Israel be
and may his name in Israel be"
Zelig son of Lippe Abraham.
"May the father rejoice
in the fruit of his loins
and the mother be glad
in the fruit of her womb,
as it is said, Your father shall rejoice
and the one who gave birth will be glad."
It is written, "I passed by you
and saw you lying in your blood,"
and I said,
"In your blood you shall live."
Mazel Tov!