Shut Eye s02e02 Episode Script
Shortchanged
1 Previously on "Shut Eye" Charlie? I'm a fraud, a charlatan, a fake.
So what do they give me? A real vision thing.
I saw the future, and I was afraid.
Well, I'm not afraid anymore.
I am.
I got children.
Can't we just fucking go already? Ma? Return her personal effects, and bring her to me as quickly as possible.
Take care, Sharon.
I do hope your mother's chemo goes well.
- Thanks, Rita.
- What are you still doing here? I needed a place to crash.
I know your door's always open.
You like it? I got it for you.
I fucking hate you.
I woke up today a million dollars poorer than I was yesterday.
Now, you're gonna make things right financially.
She banished me.
She won't let me see my kids ever again.
The Marks family accepts the ruling of the Kris.
And Simza's son, Li'l Tony, and my granddaughter are married.
I will move into this new home with my granddaughter.
- Okay.
- Thank you, Rita.
This is a noble sacrifice.
Where's my fucking money? $1.
7 million in sequential bills, so you'll have to launder them before you can use them.
Until then, you got company.
This all of it? That's what I earned this week.
Thanks, Carl.
Groovy, man.
Catch you next time.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.]
[CAR DOOR CLOSES, ENGINE STARTS.]
[CELLPHONE CHIMES.]
Good morning.
You left early.
Should've woken me up.
Well, it looked like you'd just finally gotten to sleep.
Mm.
Well, between your sister's partying and your boss' snoring, it's kinda hard to get a good night's sleep around here.
He's not my boss.
And you know Sylvia.
She's never around for long.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER TELEVISION.]
That's what you said about Fonso.
It's going on a week, Charlie.
He just wants to be close to his money.
Why doesn't he just take his money and fucking go? You know why.
No gypsy will do business with him.
And if he doesn't clean his money, the Feds will nail him.
Maybe that's not such a bad thing.
I know, I know.
"He goes down, we go down.
" We just have to stay patient.
The plan is working.
[SIGHS.]
Trust me on this.
I'm trying, honey.
Shit! - [TIRES SQUEAL.]
- [GRUNTS.]
[GASPS.]
Oh, my God.
- Charlie? - Oh, my God.
Are you there? Charlie? Oh.
[MOANS.]
Oh! Ah.
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
You think that's funny? You think that's funny?! Fuck you! [SIGHS.]
[SCOFFS.]
Mom, I'm gonna be late.
Go and wait outside.
Your aunt's driving you today.
Whatever.
[KEYS RATTLE.]
- Sylvia? - What? [DOORKNOB RATTLES.]
Why is this door locked? Because you and Charlie let that shaved ape crash here.
I guess we'll let anything crash here.
[KEYS RATTLE.]
I need you to drive Nick to school.
- What, now? - Yes, now.
Gotta see a doctor.
You don't look sick.
Whatever.
[SIGHS.]
Your mom, she's a piece of work.
[RAP MUSIC PLAYING THROUGH EAR BUDS.]
[SIGHS.]
[VOLUME INCREASES.]
Your mom, she's a piece of work, huh? Yeah.
I mean, she treats me like I'm a kid.
I'm, like, twice your age.
I just wish they'd stop lying to me.
All they do is lie.
Yeah, well, comes with the territory.
Because they're con artists.
It's kinda more complicated than that, but, uh, yeah, sorta.
No, they never tell me the truth.
Like, the other night, okay, one minute, we're moving.
The next, we're driving to the middle of fucking nowhere.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh, sorry.
What, for saying "fuck"? I don't give a fuck.
[CHUCKLES.]
So we come all the way back just so my dad can talk to Fonso or something, right, who's now sleeping on our couch! Who the fuck does that?! Hey, man, at you got taken with.
I got left behind to fend for myself.
Yeah, I guess.
You know what? They're complicated.
I'm sure they're doing the best they can.
It is what it is.
That's not an answer.
Yeah.
It's not, is it? I don't think so.
[LAUGHS.]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
[SIGHS.]
All right.
Okay, all right.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS CONTINUE.]
Mm.
Thanks for the ride.
Yeah.
I think you're coming down with something.
I'm not.
You wanna have some fun today? - [CHUCKLES.]
- Huh? Ah.
[CHUCKLES.]
Okay.
- Yeah? - Yeah, all right.
Okay.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
[GEAR SHIFTS.]
892, 897, 907 912, 922, 927 $947.
Good.
Now write it in the book and add it up.
If I may? His math is off.
You're gonna come up short because you counted some $10s as $1s.
Why can't I use a calculator? Your father never used a calculator.
Yeah, 'cause he didn't know how.
Take this into your father's office and count it again.
[SPEAKING ROMANY.]
Without a calculator! [SIGHS.]
How's he handling all this? Better than me.
Fonso wanted me to tell you he's thinking about you.
You've seen him? - He's sleeping on my couch.
- [LIQUID POURS.]
I never would have thought he'd Stoop so low? - No offense.
- None taken.
I'd really like to help him.
But to be respectful, I'm still bound by White T.
Wait.
You'd like to help him? I would like him out of my house.
Ah.
That's more like it.
There's an ancient tradition, goes back to Roman times.
The master of the house would allow a faithful servant to buy his freedom.
How much are we talking about? It's hard to put a number on it, but $50,000 should be reasonable.
Hmm.
I think $100,000 would be more reasonable.
$100,000 it is.
Tony! Get back in here! [SIGHS.]
It's the nicknames that piss me off.
"Dick of Death" is my favorite.
[LAUGHS.]
Sorry.
Why not "Death Dick Nick"? It's got a better ring to it.
Come on, you gotta own it.
Then they can't hurt you.
- You ever seen a shortchange? - A what? Watch and learn, Death Dick.
Death Dick Nick, thank you very much.
Whatever.
Watch my hands.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Uh, may I help you? - Yeah.
I was hoping you could do me a favor.
I've got, like, this big ol' wad of $1s.
Do you wanna just throw me a $10 bill for 10 singles? - Sure.
- Okay, awesome.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
There you go.
Go ahead and recount them.
- Uh - Yeah.
One, two, three You know, that's a really nice shirt on you.
Oh, thanks.
Yeah, it's a good color for your eyes.
[COUNTING SOFTLY.]
- Uh, there's only nine.
- Are you serious? Oh, my God.
I am so sorry.
I think I need a little more coffee.
[LAUGHS.]
10 there you go.
Actually, you know what? I still have, like, all of these singles.
Do you wanna just give me a $20 for 20 singles, because I feel like you could make more use of them than me, right? Uh, all right.
So 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20.
There you go.
- Well, thank you.
- No, thank you.
Green is your color.
Don't forget.
- May I help you? - [REGISTER DRAWER CLOSES.]
What just happened? $10 more than I started with.
My turn.
So, do you remember what happened? - I think she lost about an hour.
- Yeah, that's not uncommon.
The good news is, she's alert and oriented now, and her neurological exam is normal.
That's great.
I don't see any immediate need for imaging.
- Okay.
- But I would wait a couple weeks before trying any more rail slides.
And wear a helmet next time you go 'boarding.
Tony Hawk did.
Who? Uh, before your time.
So just monitor her for the next couple of days, and, uh, you can just, uh, call my office.
Why don't you have a seat in the waiting area, and we'll get you booked for a a follow-up.
Excuse me.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
Dr.
White, I-I just need a second.
Me, too.
[WHIMPERS.]
Oh.
I am sorry.
Totally unprofessional of me.
I'm just experiencing a little bit of, um Morning sickness? Hmm.
Charlie told you I was pregnant.
He also told me how he knew.
What What exactly did he say? That he sees crazy fucking wacky shit.
Like dreams, but awake.
Huh.
Do they seem to have increased in frequency? These incidents? I think he had one this morning while he was driving, but he wouldn't talk about it.
I'm afraid he's gonna hurt himself.
[SIGHS.]
I need a cigarette.
Do you mind if I smoke in here? [CHUCKLES.]
I don't know if you heard, but the Surgeon General has said that, uh, smoking is bad for you, so that would be a no.
- Uh - [SIGHS.]
Listen, I wish I had an explanation for you.
I really do.
[EXHALES.]
All I can say is that throughout history, there have been numerous cases of people I know.
I read your research.
I ran every test.
Some, honestly, not even in the realm of what you might call traditional neurology.
In the absence of any identifiable medical condition, we have to consider alternative theories.
He's shutting me out.
It's fucked up.
I need you to fix him.
I don't [SIGHS.]
I don't know that he's broken.
You fill his head with this bullshit, and now you're telling me that there's nothing you can do? What kind of fucking doctor are you? Linda, please.
Can you just take a breath? My family is falling apart.
I cannot sleep.
So I don't have time to take a fucking breath, okay?! This is destroying us.
I need you to do something about it! [CLEARS THROAT.]
What if he has a mental illness, like like schizophrenia? While there are some cases of late-onset schizophrenia and head trauma does increase the risk, having hallucinations alone doesn't meet the diagnostic criteria, not to mention that all of his other testing is perfectly normal.
What the fuck is happening to my husband? A friend of mine A dear friend of mine told me once that the universe is is always speaking to us, and it's just, few bother to listen.
Maybe he can help.
More fucking wacky shit? I'm afraid so.
Thanks, Dr.
White.
- [SIGHS.]
- [DOOR OPENS.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[EXHALES.]
[DRAWER OPENS.]
20 bucks.
That is not a bad start.
Gotta say, I've had my doubts, but you've got Haverford in your blood after all.
So this is what my parents do, huh? This is it? Uh, they pull a more creative variation, but same idea.
Cool.
[WHISPERS.]
Oh, for fuck's sake.
All right.
It's time to get you home, kiddo.
First, show me more.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION.]
Yeah, sure.
- Yeah.
- Hey.
Looks like the Dick of Death found his next victim.
[LAUGHTER.]
Dick of Death! [LAUGHTER.]
All right.
The most important part of the con is actually identifying the right mark, right? Someone ready to be taken.
And you play on their emotional blind spot, whatever that is so guilt, loneliness, greed, love.
That's how you reel them in.
I think I found my mark.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION CONTINUES.]
[SPRINKLER HISSING.]
These two dolls are married.
They have to come to White Tony's with us.
So, did you guys do it yet? Well, did you? Shut up.
- I bet it happens tonight.
- I said, shut up! Hey, hey, hey.
Enough already.
Drina, you should stop making it so hard for your sister.
Hard for her? What about me? What about you? You're married with the head of two families.
- This is really good.
- This sucks.
My life is over because of some stupid fucking Gypsy tradition! Tradition is all we have.
Really, Grandma? Mm-hmm.
Where's Glendale Heights, anyway? Take the 101 to the 134 and get off at Hell.
- [SCOFFS.]
- Man, it could be worse.
Could be Tarzana.
[SEATBELT CLICKS.]
[GARAGE DOOR WHIRRING.]
[LIGHT SWITCH FLICKS.]
[RATTLING.]
[BLOWING.]
Sim-sala-bim, and voilà .
You need to put a better lock on your door.
Eduardo.
[CHUCKLES.]
You're here for your weekly reading? There another reason why I'd be here? No.
Uh, how's things? You're the psychic.
You tell me.
The Lovers reversed A union of opposites the need to heal disharmony.
Is there a relationship in your life that needs resolving? Wheel of Fortune reversed Something is set in motion.
There are difficulties that may continue.
The Emperor.
[CHUCKLES.]
Friends and colleagues have betrayed you.
Justice, also reversed Something remains in flux and unresolved.
What do you think that means, Charlie? It's more what my interpretation means to you.
Humor me.
It means the wedding job didn't satisfy my debt to you.
Not even close.
Most of those cheap bastards were wearing knock-offs, anyway.
And I had to give some bling back.
- What? What do you mean? - The father of the bride Turns out he's a buddy of mine.
How good of a buddy? Don't worry.
I didn't tell him about you.
[INHALES, EXHALES.]
That's two strikes, Charlie.
There won't be a third.
[TRUNK CLOSES.]
I'm optimistic about this, Charlie, if you can talk him into it.
- I'll talk to him.
- Eduardo! - Linda, how you liking the ride? - I love it.
Hey, I gotta run.
Let me know what happens.
What's all this? I'm cooking tonight.
- You're cooking? - Mm-hmm.
Don't act so surprised.
[DOOR OPENS.]
Listen, I need your fun money.
Why? I conned Simza into a buyout of our services.
How'd you do that? I played on her affections for everyone's favorite house guest.
Fonso and Simza.
But I need to get back to her today, seal the deal with a down payment.
I scrounged a few grand, but I'm really gonna need your stash.
My money.
Our money.
[REFRIGERATOR DOOR CLOSES.]
Remember my leopard boots, knee-high, Vegas? How could I forget? Back in my closet, right boot.
Thank you, honey.
You'll be back for dinner, right? I will be back for dinner.
You better.
[ICE RATTLES.]
[SLURPS.]
[SWALLOWS.]
Nice picture.
Yours? Pulled it off her Instagram nothing that can be traced back to me.
Smart kid, playing on their emotions like this.
I mean, they'll be tripping over each other just to show how much of a good friend they were to Emma.
Which makes them blind to the con.
Yes.
Okay, so now that you've laid the trap and set the bait - Mm-hmm.
- don't forget, you still have to Yank in the mark.
More like reel in the mark.
Marks plural.
[LAUGHTER.]
Look at those assholes.
I'm gonna take 'em all down.
Okay, now is not the time to let emotion get in the way of things.
How are we gonna get this message out to the marks plural? Oh.
Yeah.
Um, this is a roster of everybody's school e-mail addresses.
Shit! Once I press Send, it goes out from a dummy address.
So, what are you waiting for? Do it.
Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it.
[COMPUTER CHIMES.]
Nice.
Don't worry, kiddo.
Everything's gonna be fine.
Here.
Drink up, big stuff.
Good work.
[COMPUTER CHIMES, CELLPHONES VIBRATING.]
Great.
Oh, we have - I got it, too.
- I know.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
- [CHUCKLES.]
- [SCOFFS.]
[CHA-CHING.]
- Oh.
- There you go.
Not bad.
Good start.
$15! $15! [CHA-CHING.]
- [LAUGHS.]
- What? [CHA-CHING.]
- [LAUGHING.]
- How? [ALL CHANTING.]
Line it up.
[CHANTING CONTINUES.]
[CAR APPROACHES.]
Here, let's go.
There's Daddy! Remember, Lala, your father has been banished.
He is unclean.
He's not even family.
She knows, Grandma.
Lala! It's Daddy.
[HANDLE RATTLES.]
Hey, baby! It's locked.
Open up.
Sharon, please.
- [SEATBELT CLICKS.]
- Yes, ma'am.
[TAPPING ON DOOR.]
Baby? Drina? [SIGHS.]
Drina.
Lala, please.
Come on, baby.
Who the fuck are you? - I work for Mrs.
Marks.
- [SCOFFS.]
Yeah, right.
Hey, Ma.
Open up.
- Step away from the car, please.
- It's my fucking car.
- Not anymore.
- Drina.
Come on! Baby! Please? Lala.
Please? I won't ask you again.
Step away from the car.
Fuck off.
[GRUNTING.]
Aah! [PANTING.]
[CHILDREN CLAMORING.]
[PANTING CONTINUES.]
Please, don't.
[GRUNTS.]
- Aah! - Stop it! [WINCING.]
Sharon, that's enough.
You f Okay, okay, okay.
[PANTING.]
- Ah! - [CAR DOOR CLOSES.]
[PANTING.]
Shit! - Something's burning.
- I know, I know.
- Is Fonso here? - No.
[GRUNTS.]
I have a proposition for him something that just might get him out of our hair.
Well, it better wait until after dinner.
I've been at this all day, God damn it.
Is that my Moroccan chicken recipe? - Sorry about the mess.
- [COUGHS.]
It's fine.
I mean, a messy kitchen is, um, like they say, filled with love.
- Oh, that is bullshit.
- It is.
I just made it up.
[LAUGHS.]
But I appreciate it, with everything that's been going on.
Thanks.
[DOOR OPENS.]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION, LAUGHTER.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
Something's burning.
[SIGHS.]
Got it.
Thank you.
What have you two been up to? - My résumé.
- Just a school project.
Well, Mom made a special dinner.
I'm I-I gotta go finish something.
Yeah, we're almost finished.
Hey, what'd the doctor say? - I'm fine.
Thank you.
- Good.
She worked really hard on it.
We're almost done.
You know what we haven't done in a long time? Had dinner, just the two of us.
It's fine.
Well, we should probably eat it before it gets cold.
You saw your doctor? Yeah, yeah.
That old insomnia thing.
Did he give you something for it? [BANG.]
[PANTING.]
You! Come with me.
- Fonso - Now! [DOOR SLAMS.]
[SIGHS.]
[KEYS RATTLE.]
[SIGHS.]
[CLATTER.]
Fonso.
What are we doing? Where are we going? - Payback.
Now get yours.
- Get my what? Get your fucking gun.
I-I don't own a fucking gun! Well, get one.
You're backing me up.
Are you looking for revenge on whoever beat the shit out of you? They fucking banished me! I know.
I know, but this won't get your kids back.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
You want payback? You want vengeance? There's more than one kind, Fonso.
[CAR APPROACHING.]
[SEATBELTS UNCLICKING.]
[ENGINE SHUTS OFF.]
- Welcome to your new home.
- Thank you for your hospitality.
- Won't you come in? - Thank you.
Hey, girl.
Tennis courts and pool out back.
We have a squash court inside.
What's squash? If you ever wanna learn to play the piano, we have this tuned once a month.
This is a second living room.
All marble, Italian floors throughout the house.
And this is White Tony's home office.
What a mess! I still can't get myself to go inside.
Oh.
Oh, Drina.
I almost forgot.
Let me show you the bedroom you and Li'l Tony will be sharing.
This way! Hmm? Isn't it wonderful? Oh, it's very impressive.
I like sleeping on the right side, but, for you, I'll switch.
So generous.
Best of all, your bedroom is conveniently located right next to the future nursery.
Mm.
- Ew! it looks like barf! - Lala! You should show respect for our new host.
- But it looks so gross.
- It's the traditional Vlach, a mourning dish from Romania.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
You shouldn't bring your telephone to the table.
Oh, he's fine.
[CELLPHONE CLICKS OFF.]
Of course.
How How did things go with the Council? I'm letting the accountants deal with everything.
They say that I have a [SCOFFS.]
cash-flow problem.
Need to scale back on expenses.
But I thought that White Tony Yes.
Well, apparently, my dear husband had most of our money tied up in various schemes that are hard to get out of.
I see.
Which is why Drina has to take herself out of Harvard-Westlake next semester.
- What?! - It is a luxury we can't afford.
And now that you're married, you don't need to be spending that much money on your education, trust me.
- But I - I agree.
Now that you're married, your life is dedicated to the family.
And an expensive education is of no practical use.
- So we understand each other? - Yeah.
There has been much change of late.
It is understandable that we all have to make some sacrifices.
We should also discuss consummating the marriage vows tonight.
It's time, don't you think? Rita? Tonight's the night.
Unfortunately, I don't think that tonight is the best night for the physical union to take place between our two families.
- Hmm.
And why is that? - An old Machvaia superstition.
But it is unwise to bring a new spirit to the family while the spirit of White Tony still lingers.
Unless you wish to copulate while your father is still here, watching? Um I mean This house is still marime.
In our family, the mourning period to purify a house is 40 days.
Hmm.
Well, in the Ranko family, we mourn for a fortnight.
A fortnight it is.
Good.
[INSECTS CHIRPING.]
Oh, fuck! [GRUNTS.]
- [THUD.]
- [GRUNTS.]
- Shh.
- Shh.
[GRUNTS.]
I'm telling you, this is a good deal.
It's a win-win.
Shh.
Listen, you get your money out from under the pool and into some real assets.
You want me to go legit? [SCOFFS.]
Well, I mean, if you wanna call real-estate developers "legit," then, yeah.
This could be the start of something big, Fonso a new chapter for you.
Yeah.
What's in it for you? You're off my couch.
Why do you have a crowbar? - I'm breaking in.
- To your own house? Don't you have keys? No, I've never had keys.
- Is it locked? - Of course it's locked.
[INSECTS CHIRPING.]
[DOOR OPENS.]
[KEYS RATTLE.]
[LID CLACKING.]
[RUSTLING.]
Easy on the Crown Royal.
Ahh.
[SIGHS.]
[DOOR OPENS.]
Okay.
Do that room.
We gotta go.
We gotta go! Yeah, I know.
[SIGHS.]
[NATACHA ET NUITS DE PRINCES' "DIEN' I NOTCH" PLAYING.]
[MUSIC CONTINUES.]
[GRUNTING.]
[LIGHTERS FLICKING.]
Dien' I notch ronayet sertse lasskou Dien' I notch krujitsa galava Dien' I notch vzvalnovanoujou skaskoill Mniè zvoutchat tvoyi slava Tol'ka rass byvaet v jizni vstretcha Tol'ka rass soud'boyou rviotsa nit' Fonso.
Fonso! Tol'ka rass Wait.
Stay here.
What are you doing? Fonso, what are you doing? khotchetssa lioubit' [INSTRUMENTAL BREAK.]
[COUGHING.]
[MUSIC CONTINUES.]
[FLAMES ROARING.]
[COUGHING.]
[MUSIC CONTINUES.]
Vianet loutch pourpournava zakata Sinovoy okoutani tsvety Gdiè jè t'y, jélanill' moy kagda ta? Gdiè jè vy ousnoufchnyè metchy? Tol'ka rass byvaet v jizni vstretcha Tol'ka rass soud'boyou rviotsa nit' Tol'ka rass v khalodnill' zimnill vetchèr Mniè tak khotchetssa lioubit' Tol'ka rass byvaet v jizni vstretcha [CRYING.]
Tol'ka rass soud'boyou rviotsa nit' Tol'ka rass v khalodnill' zimnill vetchèr Mniè tak khotchetssa lioubit'
So what do they give me? A real vision thing.
I saw the future, and I was afraid.
Well, I'm not afraid anymore.
I am.
I got children.
Can't we just fucking go already? Ma? Return her personal effects, and bring her to me as quickly as possible.
Take care, Sharon.
I do hope your mother's chemo goes well.
- Thanks, Rita.
- What are you still doing here? I needed a place to crash.
I know your door's always open.
You like it? I got it for you.
I fucking hate you.
I woke up today a million dollars poorer than I was yesterday.
Now, you're gonna make things right financially.
She banished me.
She won't let me see my kids ever again.
The Marks family accepts the ruling of the Kris.
And Simza's son, Li'l Tony, and my granddaughter are married.
I will move into this new home with my granddaughter.
- Okay.
- Thank you, Rita.
This is a noble sacrifice.
Where's my fucking money? $1.
7 million in sequential bills, so you'll have to launder them before you can use them.
Until then, you got company.
This all of it? That's what I earned this week.
Thanks, Carl.
Groovy, man.
Catch you next time.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.]
[CAR DOOR CLOSES, ENGINE STARTS.]
[CELLPHONE CHIMES.]
Good morning.
You left early.
Should've woken me up.
Well, it looked like you'd just finally gotten to sleep.
Mm.
Well, between your sister's partying and your boss' snoring, it's kinda hard to get a good night's sleep around here.
He's not my boss.
And you know Sylvia.
She's never around for long.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER TELEVISION.]
That's what you said about Fonso.
It's going on a week, Charlie.
He just wants to be close to his money.
Why doesn't he just take his money and fucking go? You know why.
No gypsy will do business with him.
And if he doesn't clean his money, the Feds will nail him.
Maybe that's not such a bad thing.
I know, I know.
"He goes down, we go down.
" We just have to stay patient.
The plan is working.
[SIGHS.]
Trust me on this.
I'm trying, honey.
Shit! - [TIRES SQUEAL.]
- [GRUNTS.]
[GASPS.]
Oh, my God.
- Charlie? - Oh, my God.
Are you there? Charlie? Oh.
[MOANS.]
Oh! Ah.
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
You think that's funny? You think that's funny?! Fuck you! [SIGHS.]
[SCOFFS.]
Mom, I'm gonna be late.
Go and wait outside.
Your aunt's driving you today.
Whatever.
[KEYS RATTLE.]
- Sylvia? - What? [DOORKNOB RATTLES.]
Why is this door locked? Because you and Charlie let that shaved ape crash here.
I guess we'll let anything crash here.
[KEYS RATTLE.]
I need you to drive Nick to school.
- What, now? - Yes, now.
Gotta see a doctor.
You don't look sick.
Whatever.
[SIGHS.]
Your mom, she's a piece of work.
[RAP MUSIC PLAYING THROUGH EAR BUDS.]
[SIGHS.]
[VOLUME INCREASES.]
Your mom, she's a piece of work, huh? Yeah.
I mean, she treats me like I'm a kid.
I'm, like, twice your age.
I just wish they'd stop lying to me.
All they do is lie.
Yeah, well, comes with the territory.
Because they're con artists.
It's kinda more complicated than that, but, uh, yeah, sorta.
No, they never tell me the truth.
Like, the other night, okay, one minute, we're moving.
The next, we're driving to the middle of fucking nowhere.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh, sorry.
What, for saying "fuck"? I don't give a fuck.
[CHUCKLES.]
So we come all the way back just so my dad can talk to Fonso or something, right, who's now sleeping on our couch! Who the fuck does that?! Hey, man, at you got taken with.
I got left behind to fend for myself.
Yeah, I guess.
You know what? They're complicated.
I'm sure they're doing the best they can.
It is what it is.
That's not an answer.
Yeah.
It's not, is it? I don't think so.
[LAUGHS.]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
[SIGHS.]
All right.
Okay, all right.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS CONTINUE.]
Mm.
Thanks for the ride.
Yeah.
I think you're coming down with something.
I'm not.
You wanna have some fun today? - [CHUCKLES.]
- Huh? Ah.
[CHUCKLES.]
Okay.
- Yeah? - Yeah, all right.
Okay.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
[GEAR SHIFTS.]
892, 897, 907 912, 922, 927 $947.
Good.
Now write it in the book and add it up.
If I may? His math is off.
You're gonna come up short because you counted some $10s as $1s.
Why can't I use a calculator? Your father never used a calculator.
Yeah, 'cause he didn't know how.
Take this into your father's office and count it again.
[SPEAKING ROMANY.]
Without a calculator! [SIGHS.]
How's he handling all this? Better than me.
Fonso wanted me to tell you he's thinking about you.
You've seen him? - He's sleeping on my couch.
- [LIQUID POURS.]
I never would have thought he'd Stoop so low? - No offense.
- None taken.
I'd really like to help him.
But to be respectful, I'm still bound by White T.
Wait.
You'd like to help him? I would like him out of my house.
Ah.
That's more like it.
There's an ancient tradition, goes back to Roman times.
The master of the house would allow a faithful servant to buy his freedom.
How much are we talking about? It's hard to put a number on it, but $50,000 should be reasonable.
Hmm.
I think $100,000 would be more reasonable.
$100,000 it is.
Tony! Get back in here! [SIGHS.]
It's the nicknames that piss me off.
"Dick of Death" is my favorite.
[LAUGHS.]
Sorry.
Why not "Death Dick Nick"? It's got a better ring to it.
Come on, you gotta own it.
Then they can't hurt you.
- You ever seen a shortchange? - A what? Watch and learn, Death Dick.
Death Dick Nick, thank you very much.
Whatever.
Watch my hands.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Uh, may I help you? - Yeah.
I was hoping you could do me a favor.
I've got, like, this big ol' wad of $1s.
Do you wanna just throw me a $10 bill for 10 singles? - Sure.
- Okay, awesome.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
There you go.
Go ahead and recount them.
- Uh - Yeah.
One, two, three You know, that's a really nice shirt on you.
Oh, thanks.
Yeah, it's a good color for your eyes.
[COUNTING SOFTLY.]
- Uh, there's only nine.
- Are you serious? Oh, my God.
I am so sorry.
I think I need a little more coffee.
[LAUGHS.]
10 there you go.
Actually, you know what? I still have, like, all of these singles.
Do you wanna just give me a $20 for 20 singles, because I feel like you could make more use of them than me, right? Uh, all right.
So 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20.
There you go.
- Well, thank you.
- No, thank you.
Green is your color.
Don't forget.
- May I help you? - [REGISTER DRAWER CLOSES.]
What just happened? $10 more than I started with.
My turn.
So, do you remember what happened? - I think she lost about an hour.
- Yeah, that's not uncommon.
The good news is, she's alert and oriented now, and her neurological exam is normal.
That's great.
I don't see any immediate need for imaging.
- Okay.
- But I would wait a couple weeks before trying any more rail slides.
And wear a helmet next time you go 'boarding.
Tony Hawk did.
Who? Uh, before your time.
So just monitor her for the next couple of days, and, uh, you can just, uh, call my office.
Why don't you have a seat in the waiting area, and we'll get you booked for a a follow-up.
Excuse me.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
Dr.
White, I-I just need a second.
Me, too.
[WHIMPERS.]
Oh.
I am sorry.
Totally unprofessional of me.
I'm just experiencing a little bit of, um Morning sickness? Hmm.
Charlie told you I was pregnant.
He also told me how he knew.
What What exactly did he say? That he sees crazy fucking wacky shit.
Like dreams, but awake.
Huh.
Do they seem to have increased in frequency? These incidents? I think he had one this morning while he was driving, but he wouldn't talk about it.
I'm afraid he's gonna hurt himself.
[SIGHS.]
I need a cigarette.
Do you mind if I smoke in here? [CHUCKLES.]
I don't know if you heard, but the Surgeon General has said that, uh, smoking is bad for you, so that would be a no.
- Uh - [SIGHS.]
Listen, I wish I had an explanation for you.
I really do.
[EXHALES.]
All I can say is that throughout history, there have been numerous cases of people I know.
I read your research.
I ran every test.
Some, honestly, not even in the realm of what you might call traditional neurology.
In the absence of any identifiable medical condition, we have to consider alternative theories.
He's shutting me out.
It's fucked up.
I need you to fix him.
I don't [SIGHS.]
I don't know that he's broken.
You fill his head with this bullshit, and now you're telling me that there's nothing you can do? What kind of fucking doctor are you? Linda, please.
Can you just take a breath? My family is falling apart.
I cannot sleep.
So I don't have time to take a fucking breath, okay?! This is destroying us.
I need you to do something about it! [CLEARS THROAT.]
What if he has a mental illness, like like schizophrenia? While there are some cases of late-onset schizophrenia and head trauma does increase the risk, having hallucinations alone doesn't meet the diagnostic criteria, not to mention that all of his other testing is perfectly normal.
What the fuck is happening to my husband? A friend of mine A dear friend of mine told me once that the universe is is always speaking to us, and it's just, few bother to listen.
Maybe he can help.
More fucking wacky shit? I'm afraid so.
Thanks, Dr.
White.
- [SIGHS.]
- [DOOR OPENS.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[EXHALES.]
[DRAWER OPENS.]
20 bucks.
That is not a bad start.
Gotta say, I've had my doubts, but you've got Haverford in your blood after all.
So this is what my parents do, huh? This is it? Uh, they pull a more creative variation, but same idea.
Cool.
[WHISPERS.]
Oh, for fuck's sake.
All right.
It's time to get you home, kiddo.
First, show me more.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION.]
Yeah, sure.
- Yeah.
- Hey.
Looks like the Dick of Death found his next victim.
[LAUGHTER.]
Dick of Death! [LAUGHTER.]
All right.
The most important part of the con is actually identifying the right mark, right? Someone ready to be taken.
And you play on their emotional blind spot, whatever that is so guilt, loneliness, greed, love.
That's how you reel them in.
I think I found my mark.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION CONTINUES.]
[SPRINKLER HISSING.]
These two dolls are married.
They have to come to White Tony's with us.
So, did you guys do it yet? Well, did you? Shut up.
- I bet it happens tonight.
- I said, shut up! Hey, hey, hey.
Enough already.
Drina, you should stop making it so hard for your sister.
Hard for her? What about me? What about you? You're married with the head of two families.
- This is really good.
- This sucks.
My life is over because of some stupid fucking Gypsy tradition! Tradition is all we have.
Really, Grandma? Mm-hmm.
Where's Glendale Heights, anyway? Take the 101 to the 134 and get off at Hell.
- [SCOFFS.]
- Man, it could be worse.
Could be Tarzana.
[SEATBELT CLICKS.]
[GARAGE DOOR WHIRRING.]
[LIGHT SWITCH FLICKS.]
[RATTLING.]
[BLOWING.]
Sim-sala-bim, and voilà .
You need to put a better lock on your door.
Eduardo.
[CHUCKLES.]
You're here for your weekly reading? There another reason why I'd be here? No.
Uh, how's things? You're the psychic.
You tell me.
The Lovers reversed A union of opposites the need to heal disharmony.
Is there a relationship in your life that needs resolving? Wheel of Fortune reversed Something is set in motion.
There are difficulties that may continue.
The Emperor.
[CHUCKLES.]
Friends and colleagues have betrayed you.
Justice, also reversed Something remains in flux and unresolved.
What do you think that means, Charlie? It's more what my interpretation means to you.
Humor me.
It means the wedding job didn't satisfy my debt to you.
Not even close.
Most of those cheap bastards were wearing knock-offs, anyway.
And I had to give some bling back.
- What? What do you mean? - The father of the bride Turns out he's a buddy of mine.
How good of a buddy? Don't worry.
I didn't tell him about you.
[INHALES, EXHALES.]
That's two strikes, Charlie.
There won't be a third.
[TRUNK CLOSES.]
I'm optimistic about this, Charlie, if you can talk him into it.
- I'll talk to him.
- Eduardo! - Linda, how you liking the ride? - I love it.
Hey, I gotta run.
Let me know what happens.
What's all this? I'm cooking tonight.
- You're cooking? - Mm-hmm.
Don't act so surprised.
[DOOR OPENS.]
Listen, I need your fun money.
Why? I conned Simza into a buyout of our services.
How'd you do that? I played on her affections for everyone's favorite house guest.
Fonso and Simza.
But I need to get back to her today, seal the deal with a down payment.
I scrounged a few grand, but I'm really gonna need your stash.
My money.
Our money.
[REFRIGERATOR DOOR CLOSES.]
Remember my leopard boots, knee-high, Vegas? How could I forget? Back in my closet, right boot.
Thank you, honey.
You'll be back for dinner, right? I will be back for dinner.
You better.
[ICE RATTLES.]
[SLURPS.]
[SWALLOWS.]
Nice picture.
Yours? Pulled it off her Instagram nothing that can be traced back to me.
Smart kid, playing on their emotions like this.
I mean, they'll be tripping over each other just to show how much of a good friend they were to Emma.
Which makes them blind to the con.
Yes.
Okay, so now that you've laid the trap and set the bait - Mm-hmm.
- don't forget, you still have to Yank in the mark.
More like reel in the mark.
Marks plural.
[LAUGHTER.]
Look at those assholes.
I'm gonna take 'em all down.
Okay, now is not the time to let emotion get in the way of things.
How are we gonna get this message out to the marks plural? Oh.
Yeah.
Um, this is a roster of everybody's school e-mail addresses.
Shit! Once I press Send, it goes out from a dummy address.
So, what are you waiting for? Do it.
Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it.
[COMPUTER CHIMES.]
Nice.
Don't worry, kiddo.
Everything's gonna be fine.
Here.
Drink up, big stuff.
Good work.
[COMPUTER CHIMES, CELLPHONES VIBRATING.]
Great.
Oh, we have - I got it, too.
- I know.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
- [CHUCKLES.]
- [SCOFFS.]
[CHA-CHING.]
- Oh.
- There you go.
Not bad.
Good start.
$15! $15! [CHA-CHING.]
- [LAUGHS.]
- What? [CHA-CHING.]
- [LAUGHING.]
- How? [ALL CHANTING.]
Line it up.
[CHANTING CONTINUES.]
[CAR APPROACHES.]
Here, let's go.
There's Daddy! Remember, Lala, your father has been banished.
He is unclean.
He's not even family.
She knows, Grandma.
Lala! It's Daddy.
[HANDLE RATTLES.]
Hey, baby! It's locked.
Open up.
Sharon, please.
- [SEATBELT CLICKS.]
- Yes, ma'am.
[TAPPING ON DOOR.]
Baby? Drina? [SIGHS.]
Drina.
Lala, please.
Come on, baby.
Who the fuck are you? - I work for Mrs.
Marks.
- [SCOFFS.]
Yeah, right.
Hey, Ma.
Open up.
- Step away from the car, please.
- It's my fucking car.
- Not anymore.
- Drina.
Come on! Baby! Please? Lala.
Please? I won't ask you again.
Step away from the car.
Fuck off.
[GRUNTING.]
Aah! [PANTING.]
[CHILDREN CLAMORING.]
[PANTING CONTINUES.]
Please, don't.
[GRUNTS.]
- Aah! - Stop it! [WINCING.]
Sharon, that's enough.
You f Okay, okay, okay.
[PANTING.]
- Ah! - [CAR DOOR CLOSES.]
[PANTING.]
Shit! - Something's burning.
- I know, I know.
- Is Fonso here? - No.
[GRUNTS.]
I have a proposition for him something that just might get him out of our hair.
Well, it better wait until after dinner.
I've been at this all day, God damn it.
Is that my Moroccan chicken recipe? - Sorry about the mess.
- [COUGHS.]
It's fine.
I mean, a messy kitchen is, um, like they say, filled with love.
- Oh, that is bullshit.
- It is.
I just made it up.
[LAUGHS.]
But I appreciate it, with everything that's been going on.
Thanks.
[DOOR OPENS.]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION, LAUGHTER.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
Something's burning.
[SIGHS.]
Got it.
Thank you.
What have you two been up to? - My résumé.
- Just a school project.
Well, Mom made a special dinner.
I'm I-I gotta go finish something.
Yeah, we're almost finished.
Hey, what'd the doctor say? - I'm fine.
Thank you.
- Good.
She worked really hard on it.
We're almost done.
You know what we haven't done in a long time? Had dinner, just the two of us.
It's fine.
Well, we should probably eat it before it gets cold.
You saw your doctor? Yeah, yeah.
That old insomnia thing.
Did he give you something for it? [BANG.]
[PANTING.]
You! Come with me.
- Fonso - Now! [DOOR SLAMS.]
[SIGHS.]
[KEYS RATTLE.]
[SIGHS.]
[CLATTER.]
Fonso.
What are we doing? Where are we going? - Payback.
Now get yours.
- Get my what? Get your fucking gun.
I-I don't own a fucking gun! Well, get one.
You're backing me up.
Are you looking for revenge on whoever beat the shit out of you? They fucking banished me! I know.
I know, but this won't get your kids back.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
You want payback? You want vengeance? There's more than one kind, Fonso.
[CAR APPROACHING.]
[SEATBELTS UNCLICKING.]
[ENGINE SHUTS OFF.]
- Welcome to your new home.
- Thank you for your hospitality.
- Won't you come in? - Thank you.
Hey, girl.
Tennis courts and pool out back.
We have a squash court inside.
What's squash? If you ever wanna learn to play the piano, we have this tuned once a month.
This is a second living room.
All marble, Italian floors throughout the house.
And this is White Tony's home office.
What a mess! I still can't get myself to go inside.
Oh.
Oh, Drina.
I almost forgot.
Let me show you the bedroom you and Li'l Tony will be sharing.
This way! Hmm? Isn't it wonderful? Oh, it's very impressive.
I like sleeping on the right side, but, for you, I'll switch.
So generous.
Best of all, your bedroom is conveniently located right next to the future nursery.
Mm.
- Ew! it looks like barf! - Lala! You should show respect for our new host.
- But it looks so gross.
- It's the traditional Vlach, a mourning dish from Romania.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
You shouldn't bring your telephone to the table.
Oh, he's fine.
[CELLPHONE CLICKS OFF.]
Of course.
How How did things go with the Council? I'm letting the accountants deal with everything.
They say that I have a [SCOFFS.]
cash-flow problem.
Need to scale back on expenses.
But I thought that White Tony Yes.
Well, apparently, my dear husband had most of our money tied up in various schemes that are hard to get out of.
I see.
Which is why Drina has to take herself out of Harvard-Westlake next semester.
- What?! - It is a luxury we can't afford.
And now that you're married, you don't need to be spending that much money on your education, trust me.
- But I - I agree.
Now that you're married, your life is dedicated to the family.
And an expensive education is of no practical use.
- So we understand each other? - Yeah.
There has been much change of late.
It is understandable that we all have to make some sacrifices.
We should also discuss consummating the marriage vows tonight.
It's time, don't you think? Rita? Tonight's the night.
Unfortunately, I don't think that tonight is the best night for the physical union to take place between our two families.
- Hmm.
And why is that? - An old Machvaia superstition.
But it is unwise to bring a new spirit to the family while the spirit of White Tony still lingers.
Unless you wish to copulate while your father is still here, watching? Um I mean This house is still marime.
In our family, the mourning period to purify a house is 40 days.
Hmm.
Well, in the Ranko family, we mourn for a fortnight.
A fortnight it is.
Good.
[INSECTS CHIRPING.]
Oh, fuck! [GRUNTS.]
- [THUD.]
- [GRUNTS.]
- Shh.
- Shh.
[GRUNTS.]
I'm telling you, this is a good deal.
It's a win-win.
Shh.
Listen, you get your money out from under the pool and into some real assets.
You want me to go legit? [SCOFFS.]
Well, I mean, if you wanna call real-estate developers "legit," then, yeah.
This could be the start of something big, Fonso a new chapter for you.
Yeah.
What's in it for you? You're off my couch.
Why do you have a crowbar? - I'm breaking in.
- To your own house? Don't you have keys? No, I've never had keys.
- Is it locked? - Of course it's locked.
[INSECTS CHIRPING.]
[DOOR OPENS.]
[KEYS RATTLE.]
[LID CLACKING.]
[RUSTLING.]
Easy on the Crown Royal.
Ahh.
[SIGHS.]
[DOOR OPENS.]
Okay.
Do that room.
We gotta go.
We gotta go! Yeah, I know.
[SIGHS.]
[NATACHA ET NUITS DE PRINCES' "DIEN' I NOTCH" PLAYING.]
[MUSIC CONTINUES.]
[GRUNTING.]
[LIGHTERS FLICKING.]
Dien' I notch ronayet sertse lasskou Dien' I notch krujitsa galava Dien' I notch vzvalnovanoujou skaskoill Mniè zvoutchat tvoyi slava Tol'ka rass byvaet v jizni vstretcha Tol'ka rass soud'boyou rviotsa nit' Fonso.
Fonso! Tol'ka rass Wait.
Stay here.
What are you doing? Fonso, what are you doing? khotchetssa lioubit' [INSTRUMENTAL BREAK.]
[COUGHING.]
[MUSIC CONTINUES.]
[FLAMES ROARING.]
[COUGHING.]
[MUSIC CONTINUES.]
Vianet loutch pourpournava zakata Sinovoy okoutani tsvety Gdiè jè t'y, jélanill' moy kagda ta? Gdiè jè vy ousnoufchnyè metchy? Tol'ka rass byvaet v jizni vstretcha Tol'ka rass soud'boyou rviotsa nit' Tol'ka rass v khalodnill' zimnill vetchèr Mniè tak khotchetssa lioubit' Tol'ka rass byvaet v jizni vstretcha [CRYING.]
Tol'ka rass soud'boyou rviotsa nit' Tol'ka rass v khalodnill' zimnill vetchèr Mniè tak khotchetssa lioubit'