The Batman (2004) s02e02 Episode Script

What's Bomb Squad doing in there? We can't have much time left.
- Well? - Can't ID the green stuff but the wiring's the real deal.
They're definitely rigged to blow.
And the word game? That kind of thing wasn't exactly covered in basic training.
- Yin, get everyone out of there already.
- Right away, chief.
I'm right behind you.
You know we can't let them see us together.
If they do, just tell them I'm your prisoner.
“When you do not know what I am, then I am something.
But when you know what I am, then I am nothing.
What am I?“ We'll be nothing if we don't leave right now.
I am a riddle.
Okay.
No one needs to see us run out of here together and I get to keep my badge.
Bravo.
Someone is very bright.
Step into the light so the Riddler can see you.
Someone is very bright.
Step into the light so the Riddler can see you.
I was expecting my worthy opponent to be taller.
Introduce yourself .
Yin.
Detective Ellen Yin.
Where's the boom? Hello, Gotham P.
D.
! I am the Riddler.
And Detective Yin here has just proven herself qualified to play.
Play? Play what? A battle of wits, a duel of intellects a night of riddles scattered throughout Gotham for you to solve.
And you alone.
Hear that, chief? You'll never know when I'll be watching or listening.
And if I hear anyone help with answers or see police uniforms anywhere near Detective Yin Gotham loses, bigtime.
What's your deal, Riddler? Why are you doing this? I'm the one posing the riddles here.
And I have another just for you.
Ready to play? To cross the water, I'm the way.
For water, I'm above.
I touch it not, and truth to say I neither swim nor move.
“Swim nor“ I hate riddles! And I don't play games with madmen.
Follow her.
Gotham Bridge.
A 2-year-old could have figured that one out.
You know, we can't let Riddler see us together either.
Or hear us.
Riddler may have hacked the police frequency but he can't crack Batwave.
Two heads are better than My keen detective skills tell me this is You made it, detective.
Pity about your hard drive over here.
But the bridge is set to blow, and only you can prevent it.
Good luck.
What? Riddler, where's the riddle? The screen.
The riddle's a puzzle.
Try the center square.
Top row, center.
Steady.
All part of the game.
Well, well, detective, you're quite the gamesmith.
Just keep playing by my rules.
What's this? Yin, what are you doing? I don't see any explosives here.
Under the bridge.
I said no help, chief.
Time to learn a lesson about following rules.
Detective Yin still gets a chance to solve the puzzle.
But if you don't get far away from here tout de suite I will blow Gotham Bay Bridge by remote and everyone on it.
Bottom right corner.
Column four, row three.
Column one, row-- I got it.
I got it! Well done, Yinsy.
The bridge survives, but will you? And only you can answer that riddle.
Nice save.
Detective.
What a surprise.
You must have a guardian angel watching over you.
Ready for your next riddle? No.
No more riddles.
What do you want, you maniac? I prefer "brainiac.
" As you've been learning, knowledge is power.
Your other left.
“The key to this puzzle you will find at last from riddles past.
“ “From riddles past.
“ A piano has 88 keys.
“Everything in me Everything in me is ancient“? These riddles hurt my brain! Chief, we located Yin heading for the museum.
“Everything in me is ancient“? How did she get “museum“ out of that? Neanderthal exhibit.
You're getting warm, detective.
Yet you're ice cold.
But if you don't solve the next riddle soon the entire city block will be blown back to the ice age.
You better hope I don't solve it "because I'm going to find you and I'm going to bring you down.
You couldn't be further from the truth, detective.
Oh, now, you're boring me.
On to the final riddle.
A man builds a house with all four sides facing north.
A bear walks past the house.
What color is the bear? “Facing north.
“ What color is the bear? Knowledge is power.
Pity about your hard drive over here.
You're ice cold.
You couldn't be further from the truth, detective.
Oh, now, you're boring me.
Boring.
Like a drill.
Riddler can't resist leaving riddles.
Even ones he shouldn't be.
“Four sides facing north.
“ The house is at the South Pole, so it's a polar bear.
The answer is “white.
“ - Aren't you taking a risk? - There are no bears at the South Pole.
This riddle has no answer.
- Riddler cheated? - Riddler quit.
He's through playing.
Dessert gelatin? Riddler's been leading us away from the main course further from the truth, all night long.
- Which is? - Beneath the last place we'd think to look again.
- Almost done? - Just a few more gigabytes, Riddler, sir.
Then drain the brain.
Freeze, Riddler! Knowledge is power, huh? A fitting heist for a brainiac, don't you think, Yinsy? If I need money instant access to Gotham's bank account numbers.
It I want to shut down Gotham's transportation grid instant access to the technical specs.
Information! It's all here in the city's mainframe.
Soon to be uploaded into mine! But aren't you the smart detective, to see the riddles within my riddles.
We can trade IQ scores when you're behind bars, Riddler.
Would that be your IQ, or the Batman's? - I don't know what you're talking - Please.
Do you think I went to all the trouble to distract Gotham PD from my real crime? It was the Batman who concerned me.
Isn't that right, Batman? The game ends now, Riddler.
I'll say, for the two of you.
Gotham's infamous vigilante working hand-in-hand with a cop? Scandalous.
Tell me, Batman what question can you never answer yes to? “Ale you asleep?“ Look who decided to join the party.
Welcome to my lair, Batman where questions are answers and Yin is yang.
Cute, Riddler.
Where are we? Why, the same place you've been all night long, Yinsy.
Inside my brain.
Stop speaking in riddles.
Why are we here? There is a living riddle walking amongst Gotham that everyone wants answered.
Who is the Batman? You want to know, don't you, Yinsy? Too easy.
Instead, we'll play a game.
You're gonna love playing shuffleboard in Arkham, Riddler.
The game is 20 Questions.
Twenty yes or noes from which my brilliant mind will deduce the true identity of the Batman.
Now, see the lie detector? Answer falsely, Batman and Yinsy here gets more than just the shock of learning your identity.
- Don't tell him anything, Batman.
- Question number one.
Do you have blond hair? He has pink hair.
He's from the moon.
- Blond.
Yes or no? - Yes.
Consider that a sample.
With every false answer, the voltage spikes.
Question two, Batbrunette.
- Were you born here in Gotham City? - Yes.
That's the spirit.
The riddles ended.
Yin vanished in thin air.
And the museum's caked in lime jelly? Chief Rojas, the entire city hall database was stolen earlier tonight.
But we were there.
Is this a joke? So you do have a day job.
I'm beginning to get a sense of the real you, Batman.
Are you a policeman? Riddler, enough already! You want to know who the Batman is? - Ask me.
- You don't know.
- I do know.
He's - No! No, no, no! You'll ruin my game! The true identity of The Batman is Ethan Bennett.
I can't hear you! Riddler, the answer to am I a policeman ? Yes.
No one outsmarts the Riddler! We are in Riddler's brain.
His men must be uploading the stolen data.
You find them, I'll take Riddler.
I'll take Riddler.
Drive on nine, begin upload.
Sorry, fellas you have a virus.
Since I can't have Riddler, you'll do.
Riddle for you.
Who's next? Are you single? Are you a celebrity? Are you wealthy? Are you wise? What's black and blue and green all over? The game's not yours yet, Batman.
And here I thought this was going to be a battle of wits.
Pretty swift, Yin.
Maybe one day you'll put that big brain of yours onto the whole “Who is the Batman?“ thing.
Chief, you may be interested to know someone on your payroll works hand-in-hand with the Batman.
Oh, yeah? Who? Ask not who in your force works with The Bat.
Ask “why in.
“ Yin, answer it.
Why in, chief.
"Y in.
" My name.
Yin.
Riddler says it's me.
Get this lunatic out of here! How would he know? That crazy psychopath! The Batman wasn't anywhere in sight tonight.
Nowhere in sight.