The Family Stallone (2023) s02e02 Episode Script

MTV. ♪
-I'm starving to death.
-Well, help yourself.
We have this nice cheese--
No, don't touch it.
We just made it nice.
- What? Hello.
- Hello.
Do I need dentures?
Do I need my one tooth
shaved down?
- Dad, you're making it--
- Just don't eat the cupcakes.
- Wait a minute.
- What's that say?
It says, "We love Louis."
-"We love Louis."
-Yeah.
Scarlet has a new boyfriend.
His name is Louis.
I've been in a relationship
with Louis
for the past ten months.
He is basically my other half.
And he is absolutely perfect.
The first moment
that I met Louis,
I absolutely
fell in love with him.
My favorite thing about him
is he is so sweet.
-He's so kind.
-He's really smart.
He's just like a nice,
like, puppy dog.
-He's just the best.
-Yeah!
Oh, my God.
They're perfectly in love.
I think they're going
to get married.
- Let's get you home.
- Let's do it.
This is so exciting.
By the way,
you should be very happy
-because
-Yeah.
you will be
not the only male in the house.
To say I'm overly protective
about my daughters
is an understatement.
One question.
Where's he sleeping?
My room.
I know that's
not going to happen.
That's definitely
not going to happen.
Dad, I'm 21.
I don't care if you're 91,
it ain't happening.
- How about the pool?
- The pool?
You want him to sleep outside?
I don't care
if he hangs from that lamp.
I was going to investigate him
right down to his genealogy,
but I was warned.
Scarlet goes, "You chase
all my boyfriends away.
This one has got
to get a break."
This is my first time,
like, properly here.
Oh, I took your L.A. virginity.
Louis is from London,
but for college,
moved to the States.
And luckily he chose
the school I'm at.
That's how we met.
Still confused on what do I say.
-Sly or Sylvester or sir?
-Sly.
-Really?
-Sir sounds too old
and he would feel weird.
Should really know this
by now, shouldn't I?
You really should.
Louis has met my family before,
one by one.
I did that strategically
so I wouldn't scare him off.
Louis met my sisters
in New York.
He's met my dad and mom.
He came to our Palm Beach house.
Sly, of course, had to give him
that firm handshake,
give him a little bit of
that side eye and ignored him.
I'm genuinely really nervous
doing the whole entire group
and putting him in the middle.
It's a lot. We're a lot.
So you're saying
I should be nice to him?
Is that what you're saying?
How about very nice?
I will torture you in your sleep
if you're mean to him.
I will-- I will kick you
in the face.
- Oh, my God.
- That was so
-Are you kidding me?
-So unnecessary.
What are you, Donkey Kong?
-Mom, stop!
-Mom, stop!
-Oh!
-That's a donkey kick.
Oh, boy, oh, boy.
Come on now,
roll with the crazy ♪
Dance like 1980 ♪
Roll with me, baby ♪
You ain't gonna save me ♪
Ooh, ooh, ooh, hey. ♪
- Home, sweet home.
- Woo-hoo!
You're here!
You finally made it.
Oh, my God. Good to see you.
-Oh, my God.
-I'm so happy you're here.
-We missed you.
-My turn. Hi.
Oh, I'm so happy
you made it in one piece.
I know, thank you
so much for having me.
Are you kidding? It wouldn't be
a party without Louis.
Hey, there, girl.
We'll take good care of you.
I've had to
Which is real hard.
Ta-da!
Oh, my God,
that is so kind of you guys.
We have some cheers
for you, Louis.
Oh, yeah.
Oh-- Oh, God.
Okay, ready?
-Oh, no, no, no.
-I get a whole song?
Ready? Ready, Louis?
Louis does touch down time ♪
That makes no sense.
That makes no
I don't get how
these people's brains work.
I think I might
freshen up and then
-have a feast.
-Have some cheese?
Okay, cool. It will--
- I'll get you some water.
- Mom, let him go.
You could take the cheese
in the shower.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Please rinse off.
All fingers crossed
this goes well.
When I do a handstand,
can you hold my legs up?
What are they doing over there?
They're so weird.
For crying out loud, you guys.
Guys, excuse me.
Seriously.
God, you asshole.
She said to hold her handstand,
then she kicked me--
Don't cry.
P.S., this is why you don't
have a boyfriend.
-Why don't you guys take
a lesson from Scarlet?
-Grow up.
We got to keep this one,
since you two old maids--
-Stop calling us old maids
just because
-You guys are old maids.
Mom, every day is like
your ovaries are getting
-older by the day.
-She wants us to get
pregnant right now.
Yo, excuse me?
Look at you two, you're mid-20s.
Mom, I'm trying.
I want grandkids. And I'm afraid
they're going to get
so used to living on their own,
they're not going to want kids
or a relationship.
My mom's little
side comments about
the grandkids
and getting married
and finding the one and
why haven't I figured it out?
I'm not there
and I'm not that girl right now.
Don't mention I want kids,
grandkids in front of Louis.
It might scare him off. So
let's just be cool about that.
That's you. No one else talks
about kids.
You guys, he's literally
20 years old.
-Please don't mention that to him.
-Ai-yi-yi.
These shoes are 25 years old.
Jesus.
Where is everyone? ♪
-Soph!
-Yeah, what?
Louis is jetlagged,
so I need entertainment.
That sucks. I'm sorry.
- I feel horrible.
- No, I know.
That's always what happens, and
it's just the worst. I'm like--
- Oh, hey.
- Oh, hi.
-Hi.
-You look so pretty.
-You look pretty.
-I look a little greasy.
-But thank you.
-No, it's okay. Is it dr wet?
Yeah, I was in the pool with my
clothes, it was a whole thing.
-Hi, squirt.
-Hi.
- Oh, my God.
- Scarlet was just saying
Louis wasn't feeling well
from his flight.
- Well, that sucks.
- Know how much I love Louis.
He's literally my best friend.
No, you set the bar too high.
I remember when
I was in my single phase
before I met Louis
and I was going on dates
and I go, I want
to go back to my ex.
I don't know what to do.
I'm like, I'm actually,
I've been spending so much time
with myself to the point
where I'm like, I've had enough,
-I've had enough me time.
-I don't think you were
single for that long, though.
- You were
literally not seeing--
- Literally two months.
You saw Louis walk across
campus and you're like,
"What's your Instagram?"
I will fully acknowledge
that I made the first move.
100%. I find good guys.
So I have to say, I'm kind
of carrying the team right now.
-I've been a year single.
-How long has it been for me?
Every time Mom calls me,
she's like, "Hurry it up.
-I want grandbabies."
-Don't even get me started.
She's looking at me,
looking at Louis and Scarlet,
going like, "When's it
your turn?" I'm like
And then poor Louis
is like, why?
We've been only together
for nine months.
But honestly, it gets me
kind of frustrated
because it's tough
being the oldest.
I'm the first one
that's technically
supposed to be the one
that's married off first,
that has the kids first.
-It's a lot of pressure.
-It freaks me out.
My mom says
the same thing
that she tells Sophia to me.
I just sort of ignore
the unnecessary pressure.
I mean, yesterday,
my mom said that she's building
a room for her grandbabies
not for me.
I'm the only one that's
in the relationship here.
All my friends
have grandchildren.
You're putting
the pressure on me now.
I can't be having children yet.
I'm 20 1. 21.
Wah. Wah.
There's no way. Forget it.
I think I have
about nine more months
before the pressure starts
to kick in for myself as well.
I love Mom,
and I know she's going to be
the best grandmother,
but I don't want
this pressure anymore.
Her life was so different.
That's just not me.
It's not the girl she raised.
She raised three of us
really loud, very outspoken.
Career-wise, like,
I'm writing a book.
We're creating the show.
We're doing our podcast.
Like, there's other endeavors
I want to pursue,
and I know that I'm going
to keep growing
and growing and growing.
So, why do I have to look back
on something negative
and see, like, me not having
someone as something bad?
My mom knew exactly
who she was at 19.
I think for me,
the difference is
I want to grow fully into
the human that I am
so confident in
before choosing someone in my
life that would complement that.
And I think that's a fair thing
to, you know, want.
This is the first time
I'm hearing from you saying,
like, "I want to have a fun life
and I want to do my own thing
because I-I'm young."
But I've never heard you
say that, ever.
Do you think that it would be
- a good idea to talk to Mom
about all this?
- No.
-No, no, no.
-I feel like it would, Sophia.
-No, I-I'll--
-There's one thing
about our family
is that we're bad
at keeping secrets
and we can't hold our tongue.
I'm hesitant about
talking to my mom
about the pressure
that I feel from her
because I don't think
she really can relate.
I mean, she met my dad
when she was 19,
she got married at 29,
had me at 28.
Like, we're in completely
opposite places.
I just don't know
if I can talk to someone
that doesn't understand me.
If it happens,
it'll happen, but if not,
then I'm just not
going to bring it up.
Leave me alone to read.
If you spent
half the time reading
that you would finding
a man, maybe this--
- This is what I'm talking about.
- Get out of here.
I'm so over you two. Leave.
Leave, leave, leave, leave.
I don't want to
talk about it anymore.
We're gonna play
some pickleball ♪
Mom, look, it's ready
for pickleball. ♪
All right, here we are.
-How are these guys, Sophia?
-They look good.
What's so nice about
moving to Florida is,
everything is new,
and I want to do
different things
I've never been able to do.
-Hey, Jennifer.
-How are you?
Nice to see you again.
-We appreciate so much for
letting us use your court.
-Any time.
So I set up a pickleball lesson
with a trainer today
for Sophia and I.
I don't know where she
found this pickleball player,
but my mom found
the best in L.A.
And we are gonna do it right.
We're gonna look cute,
we're gonna play well.
This is a first for both of us.
Main rule of pickleball is,
this kitchen,
this non-volley zone area
that I'm standing in--
you can't take a ball out of the
air with your feet inside here.
So you can't run up
to the net and go smash?
-Exactly.
-Got it.
Serves go cross court.
-Yeah.
-And then we're good to go.
-You ready to play?
-Got it. We're ready to play.
And how about you? ♪
I never do bad
in the beginning of sports.
I'm always pretty competitive.
I know what to do,
I know what to do ♪
And how about you? ♪
Sophia.
Come on, Sophia,
you got this one.
You got it. Go, girl.
You got it.
There you go. You don't got it,
you don't got it.
-Oh, God.
-Get out of the kitchen.
- Go, go, go, go, go.
- Yeah, Mom. Oh. Oh, oh.
I learned to dance,
I learned to fly ♪
Ah.
Come on, Mom,
use your little arms.
Shush.
Oh!
I have absolutely no game.
And my mom's frolicking like
a deer throughout the court.
But honestly,
I'm addicted, I'm obsessed.
I've converted to the dark side.
Or I guess the good side,
I don't know.
Is pickleball a good--
a dark side?
-That was so much fun.
-Yeah, I could get into that.
I could. I mean, I would love
to build a court.
-You know, in Palm Beach.
That would be so much fun.
-Yeah.
-That would be great.
-One day,
when I'm a grandmother,
we can get the grandchildren
-to take pickleball lessons.
-Yeah.
So, actually I wanted to talk
to you about something.
Feel like lately
I've been more
ner I don't know,
I feel like you have this idea
of exactly how
I would be at 25 to 26 to 27.
Especially since
you keep bringing up the fact
that I'm single and have
no relationship right now.
But I want to feel
like I have more control
and not feel like I have to rush
and be pressured into it.
Your jokes about where I am
romantically-- it freaks me out
and it gets me
really stressed out.
- Oh, my God, Sophia.
- I'm so sorry.
I didn't even realize.
I'm a little old school,
thinking you have to get married
early and have kids right away.
So I feel like Sophia,
being the oldest,
I tend to put
more pressure on her.
And I really feel
that I should ease up
with her
because it's ridiculous.
She has so much
that she wants to accomplish.
And it's really important
to have your own identity.
She can have a kid when
she's 40. It doesn't matter.
I want it to be on her terms.
Not mine.
You attract really nice people.
-Aw, thanks.
-Like, I've loved
all your ex-boyfriends.
You will meet your somebody.
Your life will be beautiful.
I know it.
-Just, we got to be patient.
-Yeah.
And I'm really sorry
I added pressure.
Sometimes I'm, like,
I'm ready for you
-to get married.
-Oh, I know.
And have kids and everything,
but I don't want you to rush it.
I think now is
your time to really discover
who you are, what you want,
and no compromise.
-Like, really find
that right guy.
-Yeah, it's scary, but
No, it's not scary, it's fun.
It's just like
-It's fun and scary
at the same time.
-It is.
There's someone for everyone.
You'll find him.
Having my mom say to me that
it's okay that you're
on this path,
that everything doesn't need
to happen all at once,
it's really amazing to see
the woman that you respect
and you love
give you the confirmation
that she
also respects and loves
the decisions
that you're making for yourself.
Even though I wouldn't say
that was our best work,
I actually am excited. I want
to go back to New York and
All right, who's in
the mood to play some cornhole?
-I'm really good.
-I'm on Sophia's team.
I'm on Sophia's team.
Oh! There you go.
I love when our family
is all together,
so I just wanted to have
some good times
with everyone.
Having dinners, laughing,
joking, making fun of each other
like we always did
every single weekend
before I leave L.A. for good.
I'm very happy for you.
This is a delicious
- hunk of Switzerland.
- Hunk of Switzerland?
I'm proud of you.
I'm proud of my girl.
I'm gonna call you that
for the rest of my life.
-You are like white chocolate.
-White chocolate.
Cheers to sisters, best friends.
Longtime friendships.
Lots of hair colors.
Okay, my turn.
This game is not for us
'cause we're super competitive.
I'm gonna kick your ass,
give me it.
I think you need
to move that back about 20 feet.
Make it interesting.
Now you're talking.
Now you're talking.
- Woman first.
- 30 bucks.
Yeah, yeah. Cheater.
Wah, wah, wah.
- You have
to get it in the hole.
- Okay. Yeah.
Thank you, Louis.
That was really great advice.
-Try to hit Louis.
-Go.
-Aim for Louis.
-Aim for Louis. Oh! No!
So what's that?
Is that one point?
She got one point,
she got one point.
Let me tell you
how this works, Louis.
You get zero.
-I get zero?
-You get zero.
Oh, no, no, no!
Watch, he'll fucking nail it.
Miss! Miss! Miss! Miss!
Oh!
That fucking throw was nuts.
-Louis won, Louis won.
-No Louis won. It's a tie.
Good-looking kid.
This is very frustrating.
He's polite
and nice and charming.
It's just too good.
Louis,
when's your birthday, son?
- 15th of February.
- He's an Aquarius.
-Aquarius.
-Yeah, I'm impressed
that you know this stuff.
-Well, our mother did.
-Okay.
Scarlet got me into
star signs.
- I had no idea what they were
beforehand.
- I love Aquariuses.
If you want to
really get deep into astrology,
ask Sly.
Scarlet was
on the cusp of a sign.
He told Jennifer to keep her in
so she would be a Gemini.
That is true.
Like, that's
how much he believes it.
You want to talk to someone,
talk to him. He's obsessed.
- What are you, Aquarius?
- I'm a Leo.
Is that a good one?
- No.
- Yeah.
-Their mother's a Leo.
-She says no.
You're waiting
for the runner to stumble,
make a mistake.
Please give me a reason
to go ballistic.
I know the way guys do
things when they're young.
When they come over here,
everyone's
on their good behavior,
but you may have
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
I don't want my daughter's
heart to ever be broken.
And I want to know that Scarlet
is well taken care of, because
being a man,
I don't trust other men.
When Scarlet first met Louis,
they were in an Uber together.
- The Uber driver
only spoke Spanish.
- Okay, no, no, no.
You're saying the story wrong.
Basically,
on our first date,
I lied about everything.
She tells me
she's fluent in Spanish
in a city where, like
- Everybody speaks Spanish.
- Spanish.
-First time we get an Uber
-This is so bad.
he starts speaking
to me in Spanish.
And I'm like,
"No, I don't speak Spanish,
"but my girlfriend does.
Scarlet, Scarlet,
do you mind, like, helping out?"
And she's like, "Hola."
I think I was very nervous.
He's from a different country.
He's offering so many things
on the table.
I was like, "Yeah, I do a lot
of stuff, too, you know? Um"
And then I just put
everything out there.
-She did not hold back.
-It was the dream girl
that I wanted to be.
Let's go have some burgers.
Everybody come in here.
Come on.
Do you want to sit here,
Sly, on the end? Here?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
So, I want to thank you guys
all for coming today.
We love having everybody.
You guys are our family,
our friends.
As you know, you've probably
seen our house is up for sale.
And I grew up here.
I was born and raised here.
So this is a big thing
for me to leave.
But it's especially hard because
everyone here is
my life. You are my soul.
You're my everything. I've
done everything with you guys.
Trisha, I'm gonna have to get
a house for you and
Trisha, you're gonna have
to move to Florida.
So, Trisha and I
have been through thick and thin
together, hell and back.
Not having parents
pretty much our whole lives.
We have been
each other's everything.
It's gonna be very hard.
I thought, oh,
this is gonna be so easy,
just to, like,
pack up everything
and have a new adventure.
But, you know, it's hard to,
to say goodbye.
Our home in Florida will always
be open for everyone here.
If you decided to stay for
a year, it'd make me so happy.
Like, anything you want,
anytime.
She means it.
-I mean it.
-Maybe a week.
Make it three days, okay?
Sit up and pay attention ♪
A part of a new dimension ♪
Can you catch one in your mouth?
Okay, one No, go this way.
Oh, that was good!
That was good.
We got it now. We got it now.
I'm giving you small grapes.
I got it!
Oh!
The greatest trick shot ♪
Of our life. ♪
-Hi, Dad.
-Hey there, stranger.
What is that?
Is that a spray paint bottle?
No, this thing here
is for your grip.
And when I can't think
of something to write,
I just do that to fill up space.
Let's talk about Louis.
- Okay.
- So, you seem to be
really infatuated with this guy,
which is, he's very nice.
-This guy, yeah.
-Yeah, guy, he's very pleasant.
I just hate to see
you get your heart broken.
Just want to make sure
that he maintains
this kind of relationship
with you
where you're just happy
and it doesn't get complicated.
Life is tough enough
without making it worse.
-Yeah, I know.
-It's almost
-But you, you like him.
-I do like him.
You see us, you see our dynamic.
And he just fits in
so well with all of us.
He's so kind and loving
and so generous.
-You guys getting along?
-So well.
He is basically my other half.
And I'm so happy
to have met him.
Well, that's good.
I want the best for you.
I don't want
to burst her bubble and go,
eh, I don't know
if this is forever.
'Cause you're 20, 21 years old
and living in different parts
of the world.
But Scarlet is
very strong-willed,
to say the least.
Reminds me of someone
named Sly, so
if she tells me
that he treats her
with incredible kindness
and is very, very genuine,
that sets him apart.
Here's the key.
If you're nice to my daughters,
I'll be nice to you.
If you're bad to my daughters,
I will kill you. It's simple.
-I don't want any broken hearts.
-Broken hearts.
You know what I mean?
'Cause I'd have
to break his heart.
No, no, no.
-Like, like do this.
-Ooh, yeah, yeah,
that's his heart.
Put the spray paint bottle down.
Thanks for being
stupidly protective.
Can you feel it? ♪
Ooh, can you feel it? ♪
Yeah, can you feel it? ♪
Feel it ♪
-Hey, yeah ♪
-Can you feel it? ♪
Ooh, can you feel it? ♪
Yeah, can you feel it? ♪
Oh, yeah ♪
Oh, oh ♪
Jennifer.
Jennifer, where are the eggs?
Oh, you mean these eggs
right here?
Magic in the air ♪
You got to see this
to believe it.
-Your dad's making us breakfast.
-Oh, no, no, no.
The last time I saw Sly cook,
it was before we had children.
We were just dating.
That's how long ago it was.
So it had to be at least
30-something years ago.
I love how much passion
is going into this.
That's pretty pathetic,
actually. Geez!
Watch out, watch out.
He's going to burn you.
-Magic everywhere ♪
-I'm gonna show you the magic.
I'm gonna do something
incredibly generous.
Make sure you get
the flour on the sides, Dad.
How about I dump this
on your head?
I definitely think
Sly cooking breakfast
is to show Louis he likes him.
I'm very shocked about my dad.
I've never seen him get
along with someone before.
It's like a weight
has lifted off my chest.
Thank God that went well.
Louis, you're doing
something right.
Oh, shit. Oh, no.
These look like a car hit them.
Was anyone hurt
in this accident? Maybe.
Oh, my God. That actually reeks.
No one wants it.
It looks bad. It's burning.
I quit.
I'll have some.
There's a smart man.
These are great.
Sure. Thanks, Pinocchio.
To see Louis actually eating
the food that I cooked,
maybe the guy
is not bad after all.
Or maybe he has a death wish.
-How did you sleep
last night, you guys?
-Really well.
- She just talks in her sleep.
- Was she talking the whole time?
- Excuse me?
- Sophia.
Shut up. Shut up.
You did not need to make
that comment, thank you.
I don't want to know.
I'm taking my pancakes
and blowing town.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Sophia, really? Really?
I'm so excited to date again.
That is my favorite pastime.
I want to feel sexy,
get dressed up.
I got to get out there.
I want to find someone for you.
When was his last,
like, relationship?
Lincoln was in the White House.
-Mary Todd.
-Hi, Frankie.
Come on now,
roll with the crazy ♪
Dance like 1980 ♪
Ooh, ooh ♪
Roll with the crazy ♪
Dance like 1980 ♪
Roll with me, baby ♪
You ain't gonna save me ♪
Ooh, ooh. ♪
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