The Lake (2022) s02e02 Episode Script

1
[RELAXING SYNTH MUSIC]
You know, it's gonna
take more than a toolbox
to rebuild the Boathouse.
It's a gesture, Billie.
It is a "put the past behind us,
I'm part of the solution" gesture.
Have you ever even
used a toolbox before?
As props.
I don't know, Justin.
People are really mad.
Like deport you back to Australia mad.
Like there's a petition.
It was an accident.
It was a terrible, horrible accident
and I feel bad about it,
but it's not like I pyro-ed the place.
People are gonna get over it.
Good morning!
[MAN] Go to hell, Lovejoy!
Somebody hasn't had their coffee today.
[PHONE CHIMING]
Is your mom texting you
the bus schedule again?
Um, yeah. She's just
worried I'll miss it.
Mm-hm.
Don't think I haven't seen you texting
that cutie from the bus all week.
His name's Forrest.
And we're okay with this?
As in Whitaker.
It's not like his tree-planting name.
All right, allowed. So dish.
Height, weight, girth.
Favourite Housewives franchise.
No, no, no. We are not
talking about my love life
when yours is on fire.
Yes, someone was supposed
to help me with that.
And I tried, but Riley
just hid in his room
listening to CB radio all week.
Yeah, he's trolling for accidents.
Really soothes him.
Hey, will you please,
please, please consider
staying an extra week?
I'll even cry for your parents.
Justin, me getting this internship
was a big deal for them.
I can't just ditch.
Plus, a job like this
could really help with
scholarships next year.
You don't need any help
because you're adorable like me.
[WOMAN] Go home, pyro!
That could mean anything.
♪
[ULRIKA] Riley cannot join us
for obvious and humiliating reasons,
but we still have enough for quorum.
So, I call to order
the first Boathouse committee
meeting of the summer.
First order of business,
our insurance claim.
Unfortunately
I come bearing the gift of industry.
Probably gonna need
a couple of end tables
to really pull the space
together, huh, guys.
As I was saying, unfortunately,
insurance has denied our claim.
There is no money to rebuild.
Denied? How? How is that possible?
Because they don't want to foot the bill
for Run Lola Run here.
I'm sorry. Are you all
blaming me for this?
- [EVERYONE SPEAKING]
- Yes. Look at the place.
You almost ruined everything.
Fireworks went off
and the place went up.
Okay, but Justin was gone
- before the fire started.
- Thank you.
He bolted from that
altar like he was on fire.
I was in a fugue state.
The Boathouse was built
before building codes.
So even if our policy wasn't violated,
the payout wouldn't
be enough to rebuild.
Breaks my heart to say
the Boathouse is in Valhalla now
until the end of days comes again.
[BEABADOOBEE: "TIRED"]
- You don't need to do that.
- Yeah, I do.
I learned to swim here, Billie.
Parents bring their kids here.
Parents get hammered watching
their kids learn to swim here.
God, of course everyone hates me!
Stop being dramatic. No one hates you.
[MAN] We hate you, Lovejoy!
And the only mess you need to
clean up, Justin, is with Riley.
How? He's not even talking to me
'cause I ruined his life.
Okay, now I'm being dramatic.
All right, I know where
you can find him, okay?
I promised I wouldn't say anything,
but he's self-soothing
at the chip truck.
After carb shaming me
for a year, but no, no,
Lovejoy is always the monster.
- Justin!
- I know, I heard myself.
I can hear myself.
God, I don't even know what I would say
- even if I saw him.
- Less.
Always less.
Ah, shit. I can't.
I've got Opal's berry
picking jamboree thing today.
You're not going to apologize
to the love of your life
because you have to pick berries?
Well, I can't ditch. Not if I'm
camping out on Maisy's porch.
- Unless
- Hard pass.
Oh, come on, man.
You said you'd help me and
Opal's really, really scary.
Fine. Fine. But you owe me.
Picking berries for fun sends very
confusing messages to my ancestors.
Got it. Okay.
Okay. I'll just, um
get a bigger bucket.
- First dibs on her Percocet.
- Jesus.
Why are you in your mom's purse?
I am looking for her phone.
There's got to be something in
there to prove she's not dying.
Why would she lie about dying?
Same reason she lies about everything.
Money, attention.
[VICTOR] Unresolved
psychological issues.
You always take her side.
Not a word of this to Opal.
I was six the first time she
pretended to have smallpox
to get out of jury duty.
I don't want him riding
the same trauma train.
[MIMSY] Good morning, lovelies.
Mom, we're going berry
picking, not to Ascot.
You only live once,
and Givenchy gives life.
Twinning.
[NAOMI ON PHONE] You're berry picking?
Is this another protest
for migrant workers?
It's Opal's jamboree today,
so I'm subbing for Justin
so he can patch things up
with Riley and, I don't know,
I just wish there was
something more I could do.
[NAOMI] Uh-uh. Justin's relationship
is not your responsibility.
You are the child. You.
Now
look what I picked out
for your first day.
That's not really my style, Mom.
This internship is about
your future, not your style.
Yeah, but has my future stalled
at mid-level management and three cats?
I think it's very chic
and it won't wash you out.
Have fun on your last day, baby.
I've resent the bus schedule
because your future won't wait
[PHONE BEEPING]
Mom?
Oh, shit.
[BARRIE: "CLOVERS"]
Where am I?
Clovers ♪
Who ordered this fine day, huh? Whoo!
Hey, thanks for letting me tag along.
I got too much time on my hands
when Jaynie's got the kids.
Hm.
Everything okay, bud?
Great. 110%.
What are you doing?
I'm holding some space
for your feelings.
Please stop.
No, I will not.
Tell you what, I'll stop
after you share with me
what's going on inside you.
Not a big deal. I just
didn't get a new tattoo this year.
Ah. Nipple piercing?
No, drew a blank.
Wayne, my tats are my yearbook
of how awesome my life's been.
Killian's birth, Opal's
first haiku, seeing the yeti.
Oh, cool. Nice.
But this year, what's to ink about?
Career's done, Killian's gone.
Opal only wants me as a chauffeur
and we lost the cottage.
Hey, I felt the same way
after me and Jaynie splitskied.
I had to reconnect with
who I was before marriage,
before the girls and Olive.
- You go into therapy?
- Bingo. Yeah.
Got the Headspace app, took
a few quizzes on BuzzFeed.
Boom. Brand new Wayner, bud.
So, tell me, who was little Victor, huh?
Like, before Maisy,
before the kids, you know?
Before your middling
career, what did Victor love?
Ice hockey, ball hockey,
field hockey, air hockey.
Before hockey, okay? Go way back.
All right, if we're going to progress,
we must regress, compadre.
And you know, that starts
with a poking stick.
Not where I thought you
were going with that.
[OPAL] We can't wait for Billie anymore.
People, I'm only going to say this once.
I want firm, ripe berries
the size of my thumb.
I don't care if your
fingers are bleeding,
colour and viscosity are
key to a proper coulis.
Are you sure you're up for this?
I don't want you to push yourself.
I think your feeble old mother
could manage a berry on a bush.
Oh, dear. Is this necessary?
How many more hugs do we have left?
Yes, well, always
leave them wanting more.
But it's sweet of you to worry?
Yes, let's go with that.
[RELAXING ELECTRONIC MUSIC]
Hi.
Hey, you don't have
to accept my apology.
But will you at least give
me a chance to make it?
Two minutes? I like my curds
- Squeaky.
- Squeaky.
I know.
Peace offering?
It's cute, right?
For Rile-E Coyote.
I don't work with animals anymore.
I'm doing a series on hit and runs.
Why cowards flee the scene.
Topical.
Maybe you could shed some light.
I don't know. I don't
know, Riley. I don't know.
I panicked. It was the
proposal, the wedding.
It was swoony. It was all so swoony,
but that doesn't mean
that it wasn't crazy.
Wanting to spend my
life with you is crazy.
No, no. We were taking our wedding vows
in front of Maisy, my stepmother,
and a bunch of dead animals, Riley.
Billie was there.
Yes, and so worried, but
trying to play it cool.
And I didn't want to let her down again
because I just got my life together.
Some would say getting married
is getting your life together.
And 50% of them end in
bitterness, resentment,
and shared custody of a Pomeranian,
but at least they have
a Vitamix to show for it.
You ran 'cause you wanted gifts?
Yes, of course I wanted gifts.
That is the lamest excuse.
Excuse?
The man I love deserves
kitchen appliances,
a 12-piece place setting,
and at least one cashmere throw.
I'll tell you what I deserve.
Good. Tell me what you deserve.
- My truck. Now.
- Okay, I'm right behind you.
What's your passcode,
Mother? Your birthday?
[SIGHS]
My birthday.
[SCOFFS]
Victor's birthday?
Oh.
- [OPAL] Mom.
- [MAISY GASPING]
Why do you have Nana's phone?
Uh
[RELAXING ELECTRONIC INSTRUMENTAL]
[BILLIE] Hello? Hello!
Ah. Okay.
Oh, thank God! Thank God, thank God!
Hi. Hi. My name is Billie Barnes.
I'm 17 years old and I've
been missing for hours.
And I have no water, no signal.
Please radio my parents
and tell them I'm alive.
You can send a flare for the helicopter.
[IVY] Uh, I'm not a forest ranger.
Oh, no. What are we going to do?
Uh, you're going to sit
down and drink some water.
You're dehydrated.
We don't sit on the grass in my family.
Okay? Tick, tick, boom. Lyme disease.
Grass isn't long enough for ticks.
Okay. There you go.
Uh, I'm Ivy. I was planting
trees nearby when I heard you.
Planting trees? Oh, God.
Did I walk all the way to BC?
- Small sips or you'll cramp.
- [BILLIE COUGHING]
Exactly.
[RILEY AND JUSTIN MOANING]
[RILEY AND JUSTIN PANTING]
That was the best makeup
sex we've ever had.
Because that was breakup sex.
What? Hey, Riley, we can fix this.
Riley, we can fix this. I can fix this.
You know, shit never works out
between cottagers and townies.
You know, you guys,
you come for a season
and you leave for no reason.
It's called fall.
You're not going to be the one
who has to deal with, "Your
ex burnt down the Boathouse,"
for the rest of his life.
All right? One, I didn't
torch the Boathouse.
Two, I sublet my apartment.
Riley, I don't have any
place to go until October.
You're not hearing me, all right?
That Boathouse meant a
lot to people around here.
- My great-grandfather
- I know!
Your great-grandfather was
one of the original carpenters.
Did he build that cross you're on too?
Get out.
All right, make me.
Get out.
Make me.
Fine.
[JUSTIN GRUNTING]
[JUSTIN] Come on!
Those feelings of shame will
blossom into love! You'll see!
Honey.
We always tell each
other the truth, right?
Ever since you came
home with a pixie cut.
Sorry you had to see
that. I want you to know
that the reason that I
took Nana's phone is
Is because you can't accept she's dying.
She told you?
That's why this berry
cull is so important.
Berries are rich in antioxidants
and fight free radicals.
Ironic as Nana's free and radical.
Madness to attack one of their own.
Nana doesn't always tell
the truth like we do.
[OPAL SIGHING]
I know you miss Killian,
but you can't be mad at Nana
for helping him find his light.
You both struggle being in our shadow.
Stop it.
Okay.
Stop it!
- [OPAL GROANING]
- [MAISY LAUGHING]
You've left me no choice.
Oh, how dare you.
No, no.
Now what?
Poke it again, bud.
Gross. [CHUCKLING]
Huh? How's it feel to step
outside that old coconut, huh?
Feels
- Feels pretty good.
- Yeah, I bet. Yeah.
So tell me, what does
little Victor love, huh?
Still hockey.
- Still hockey, okay.
- Yeah.
Tell you what. You
keep poking that frog,
I'll keep whipping these
rocks at these pine cones.
Maybe one of them bonk you right
on that sexy noggin of yours.
You'll have a light bulb
moment, just like Sir Fig Newton.
- Wayne.
- What?
That's not a pine cone.
[WASPS BUZZING]
- Run.
- [BOTH SCREAMING]
- [WAYNE] Run, Victor!
- [VICTOR] Run, Wayne!
Oh, my God. They're in my shorts.
They're in my shorts!
[VICTOR] Don't talk!
They'll go in your mouth!
[WAYNE SCREAMING]
- How you feeling?
- Better, thanks.
Next time you go wandering
alone in the woods,
- maybe bring a compass.
- Yeah.
You know, I thought that
someone voted most likely
to be the next Greta
Thunberg would have known.
Most people who are into the environment
don't go into the environment.
Don't sweat it. But if
you do, it's a good sign
because you're dehydrated.
I got it. Love a dry sense of humor.
- Because I'm dehydrated.
- I got it.
And just so you know, I'm
not like one of those girls
who stages a walk out over
plastic straws to get out of class.
I'm actually interning at
the National Climate
Institute this summer.
NCI?
That's pretty major.
Writing corporate
tweets for minimum wage
all summer would drive me nuts,
but I guess that's why I plant trees.
You make bank and a real impact.
NCI makes a real impact.
You push the paper, I'll plant it.
Yeah, and I'll push it
right into the recycling bin
and, uh, you know, save you some
- Easy, Thunberg.
- trees to plant.
Drink more water.
Oh, shit. Sit tight
while I grab some more.
- My piece isn't far.
- Okay.
Thanks.
[FUNKY ELECTRONIC MUSIC]
- [JUSTIN] Ulrika!
- Ugh! Holy crap!
Must your pitch be so sharp?
Gay voice. Confuses predators.
I want to help rebuild the Boathouse.
- Oh.
- I know people blame me.
- Justin
- Ulrika, I'm a part of this community too.
Justin. I wish I could help.
Not true. But even if it was, it's not,
I am no longer the Boathouse president.
What do you mean? Why?
Swedes have a tradition. Walpurgis.
A fire is lit to welcome spring
and the changes it brings.
The Boathouse burning was a sign.
To what? To quit?
What are we going to
do about the Boathouse?
Please ask the new president about it.
[JAYNE] Ulrika, I found your Matterhorn.
[SIGHS] That is a Swedish cow horn.
The Matterhorn is Swiss.
Madam President.
Ooh! Girl's finally
in the driver's seat.
Wow!
She's a little crispy,
but we'll rise from the ashes
like Dumbledore's canary.
All right, listen.
I have got some great fundraising ideas.
I've got a little bit of
savings and I have this, um,
this new colour palette
I'd love to pitch.
Okay, slow down, Mrs. Housefire.
Even if we had the money,
you are going nowhere
near a Boathouse rebuild.
Your pyro romantic wedding décor
is why our claim was denied.
I told you to take
the fireworks outside.
Them going off inside
violated the policy.
I did. I did take them outside.
Ooh, well then, why did they
go off inside, bridezilla?
I don't know. And that's
a horrible moniker.
Well, let insurance know when you do.
In the meantime, all Boathouse
activities will happen at mine.
The Boathouse will not
go down on my watch.
Jayne Payne delivers again.
As long as the beach
stays clothing optional.
We'll revisit that.
[ULRIKA] Suppose it makes sense.
No, none of this makes sense.
Can you play "Winner Takes It All"?
Or do you hate Swiss music, too?
Give me that.
[VICTOR] Billie. Billie.
Victor?
[BILLIE] Oh
Easy, sunstroke. You okay?
Yeah, but did you see a girl
my height, Black, kind of judgey?
Sun really cooked your noodle.
You just described yourself.
Can I get your advice on something?
Shouldn't you ask Justin
about that kind of stuff?
- When has that ever helped?
- True dat. Lay it on me.
Okay.
Did you always want to play hockey?
Or did your parents just
want you to play hockey?
And did you actually
like playing hockey?
Or did you just like that your
parents liked you liking hockey?
Uh, all of the above.
Hey, but I know a frog we could ask.
Good news.
Hey, it's Wayne-ie the Pooh.
[WAYNE] Got away from the wasps.
Bad news, they moved
into my shorts, but
[SIGHS]
I'm probably going to call it a day
because it's getting late.
- [WAYNE] Wow.
- Oh.
[MELLOW ELECTRONIC MUSIC]
Sorry about your berries, honey.
We should have just gone
to the farmers' market.
You really are a monster.
Is this because Victor's
birthday is my password
or you're not on our group chat?
If you're going to take someone's phone
for what's none of your business,
you better be able to take your lumps
when the answers aren't to your liking.
I know you are not dying.
You booked a trip to
Bora Bora for next year.
Well, I wasn't going to die here, was I?
If you really are sick, then
let me talk to your doctor.
No. I will not allow
what's left of my life
to be about my illness.
- But your illness is
- Is not my identity.
- My looks are.
- Ugh.
I know that in the past
I have taken certain creative
liberties with my health
to better our situation.
Like pretending your kidneys
were failing in Marrakesh
so you could get bumped
up to first class?
You remember?
I remember you left me in coach.
You were never going to
experience local culture
if you didn't travel with the locals.
But my diagnosis is real.
So to prove that,
I will sign over Derrick's cottage
at the end of this summer.
If you really want to prove
it, then sign it over right now.
No. I need a little leverage
so that you'll stay the summer.
That way I can spend
the strength that I have
on the people I love,
in the place they adore.
Very nice phone lift, by the way.
Traveling with the locals pays off.
Don't forget to clean up for dinner.
I know I put it right
here. Where the hell is it?
- [WOMAN] You suck, Lovejoy!
- I'm aware. Thank you.
What the hell?
Who in the hell?
Telling you, Maizers.
Wayne just changed my life.
That makes me nervous.
I've been kind of lost
since hockey's done.
It's just the concussions, hun.
But Wayne got me out of my head.
I've been thinking too much.
- Never been an issue.
- You too, babe.
Your mom is giving you the cottage.
We don't need to look for
a new one. Let's enjoy it.
She is only giving it back to
us to stop us from figuring out
whatever scam has got her playing sick.
She only spends time with
us when she wants something.
Maybe she wants to hang out with us.
Not likely. Unless it's to catch
you coming out of the shower.
If she's going to give
us the cottage back
by the end of the summer,
we have got to make it a short one.
- You promise not to kill her?
- Which I regret,
but we are still going
to call her bluff.
First, I'm going to get her
to sign over the cottage to us
and then I'm going to
make her summer so awful
she suddenly finds a
miracle cure in the Andes.
I don't think I like this.
I thought you were done thinking.
Damn it.
Hey, what's going on? Where are we?
Why are we paddling
all the way out here?
Well, I want to show you something
because I have huge news, Justin.
- Like, huge.
- Well, brace yourself
because I have got even huger news.
- I'll go first.
- Or we could flip for it.
I'm quitting my internship
to be a tree planter for the summer.
Okay. Tree planting.
Great. Thrilled that you're staying.
A little concerned, a little confused.
Many follow up questions,
but first, my thing.
Well, you held out
longer than I thought.
I think someone really did
burn down the Boathouse.
And if I can find out who,
then I can get the insurance
money back to rebuild it.
Then maybe Riley and the rest
of the lake will forgive me.
Okay, confused.
Kind of concerned, many
follow up questions.
But first, my thing.
[CUB SPORT: "SUMMER LOVER"]
I'm gonna take you to the water ♪
I'm gonna take you to the beach ♪
I'm gonna take you to the water ♪
Uh-uh.
That's all for me.
I'm gonna take you to the water ♪
I'd never had a summer with another ♪
I'd never had a summer with a lover ♪
I'd never had a summer with another ♪
I'd never had a summer with a lover ♪
I'm gonna take you to the water ♪
I'm gonna take you to the water ♪
I'd never had a summer with another ♪
I'd never had a summer with a lover ♪
I'd never had a summer with another ♪
I'd never had a summer with a lover ♪
Oh yeah ♪
I'd never had a summer with a lover ♪