The Letdown (2017) s02e02 Episode Script

1 Jeremy, you have never worn that peacoat.
(SIGHS) Yuck.
Yuck.
Old.
What have I got? Oh, this old friend.
Oh! That's ridiculous.
Actually Oh, yeah, I could I might wear that again.
(PHONE RINGS INSIDE CLOTHING BIN) Oh Oh, shit! Oh! Oh! Shit, shit, shit, shit! Oh, shit! Oh (BIN OPENS) (PHONE RINGS) Oh, wow.
Thank you.
Thanks.
Oh, hey, if you need it, there's a brown peacoat in that bag that's practically brand-new, just not his shape.
And I don't know how you'd feel about a bootleg cut but Jeremy bought some jeans that No, you probably don't want them.
Um, can I can I get you anything? Like a coffee or a Actually, is there a wallet in there too? Anything can happen when you're just like me I'm riding carelessly through a maze How unexpected I'm under lock and key in a world of relentless (GASPS) - Hi.
- Sorry.
- Morning.
- Oh, Ziggy, I had that dream again.
Which one? The one where you're, you know - Oh, changing your nappy? - Yeah.
That's that's not gonna happen.
You don't know that.
There could be three of us in nappies.
Ziggy Jr, the baby and me! Where are you going? I'm just going Actually, you know what? I gotta get up.
I gotta Yeah.
I should should definitely, definitely have an early start.
Really? I was thinking that we could - After last night? - Yeah.
- Y-y-you want? Again? - Yeah.
Yeah.
(LAUGHS) I mean, I'd love to.
Awesome.
But I have an 8:15 meeting I totally forgot.
- (DOG YELPS) - Is that Ziggy crying? No.
It's alright.
I can wait till tonight.
What time are you home? Late.
I have a drinks function.
AUDREY: I'm sorry I had to put her down early.
She was buggered.
She's been pulling herself up all morning.
She'll walk any day now.
No! Try and hold her off until the weekend.
I really want to be there.
- Put her in slippery socks.
- That's a good idea, Bella Nonna! Don't encourage that ridiculous name.
And that's cruel.
Walking's a pain, you'll see.
Well, I'm not stunting her development.
Next you'll be telling me to bind her feet.
Is that another Billy? How many times have you been to IKEA? Yeah, keep things tidy.
Mum's tidying all of Stevie's things away.
(WHISPERS) She's practically moved back in.
Well, darling, I can't have toys laying around everywhere.
It's unprofessional.
It's not a doctor's surgery.
No, it's my living room! It's not a waiting room.
And can you please tell Jeremy that it was you watching those lesbian films on our Netflix account, not me.
I don't know what you're talking about.
She's lying.
Research, apparently.
Oh, her laptop died so I have kindly lent her our old iPad.
Yes, like I kindly lent you my house.
So, business is booming, huh? Yeah, I don't know where she's getting all these clients from.
Oh! What's happening with the moving date? Well, Audrey wants to wait till after my probation.
Don't you, Aud? Yeah, I I mean, sh-should I wait or should I be applying for jobs in Adelaide now? Well, look, let's talk about it on the weekend.
- OK, well, have a nice day.
- Yep.
- I miss you.
- Miss you too.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Is that why you've been spending so much time at IKEA? Have you been soliciting fighting couples? (DOORBELL RINGS) 'Cause that's actually pretty smart.
Is that a wool peacoat? Yes, it is.
Brian, you flashed that last one.
Did you see Ange? She's a total natural.
It's so easy.
- Hey, we on for tonight? - For sure.
Yeah, I brought my gear.
Hey, Jez? Yep? How's your upper body strength? Pretty solid.
Yeah.
Wanna come for a boulder after work? Do I? You bet.
Love a boulder.
Nice one, fellas.
And Ange.
(ALL CHUCKLE) Aud? Earth to Audrey! Can you make Jennifer a peppermint tea? In a glass.
So not a mug.
Thanks.
- What? - It'll give you something to do.
Then you can assemble that.
(WHISPERS) Quietly.
Sorry, darling, I couldn't get any parking.
Oh, ffff-uck me.
Fuck! Shit.
Sorry.
Sorry.
That's hot.
Chamomile, right? No, it was peppermint.
Oh, I'm sorry.
She's away with the fairies this week.
(LAUGHS) Courtney, you missed the ordering.
How about if you're late you don't get to order? Love a macchiato.
From the cafe, darling, not your thingy, 'cause it doesn't get a crema.
I do have things to do, you know? But I thought you'd finished your newsletter? You can leave Stevie here.
She's asleep, isn't she? This is my one hour to do all the things.
I've got to shower, wash my hair, and go to the toilet Get yourself one, my shout.
Oh, alright.
Oh, Aud? Quick survey.
How many times a week do you masturbate? Nope.
Clearly not enough.
AMBROSE: Morning sickness? How's the rest of the pregnancy going? Constipation? Gas? Yes, I am pretty blocked.
I'm really missing that morning latte.
But on the upside, my sex drive's gone from nothing to kind of overwhelming.
Is that normal? Yeah.
It's just hormones, that's all.
Oh, yeah.
I'm thinking about it all the time.
I mean, not now.
But when I get home probably.
Anyway, at least it's back.
We had a long dry spell, and I was worried that my body had forgotten how.
Ziggy is finding it a bit hard to keep up That might be his age.
Well, testosterone levels would be on the downward slope.
So it's probably good you're going again so soon.
- Yeah.
- You still spritzing? No, I'm off all alcohol.
No, not wine.
Leaking.
Urine.
Oh.
Did get better, thanks to the physio, but Yeah, it's definitely worse again.
And I sometimes have this dragging feeling.
Is that normal? Because I've been reading some stuff about the risks of further muscle damage, and how the bladder or the uterus or even the rectum can prolapse after a vaginal birth.
Everything drops eventually.
But am I at greater risk, with all the leaking? Lots of women leak during pregnancy.
Have you spoken to your doctor? Do you think that I'm going to need an elective C-section? I know that a vaginal delivery is considered better for the baby And mothers, generally.
But what if my vagina collapses? Oh, calm down.
That happens to a very small number of women.
Over half of all women over 50 have some level of prolapse.
Yeah, over 50.
Look, it's your choice, Sophie, but a C-section is major surgery.
You can strengthen your own pelvic floor.
Are you doing your Kegels? Yes.
I don't need a demonstration.
I don't think they're working.
Well, there is apparatus you can buy for a more intensive work-out.
Look, talk to your OB, talk to - Who had Caesars in your group? - Oh, yeah, Audrey.
- I have been trying to - Audrey, that's right.
- And what's her name? - Ester.
Ester.
Yeah, well, give them a call.
And stop panicking.
It's probably just the constipation.
Try a stool softener.
Or your morning latte.
It'll be more help than hindrance.
Oh, shit! Oh.
Whoops.
(TEXT MESSAGE ALERT) (FOOTSTEPS APPROACH) - (DOOR OPENS) - Mum! Oh! Whoopsy.
(PLOP!) - (DOOR CLOSES) - Thanks for the coffee, by the way.
How many items in your bag? Ah, 36.
Are you going to buy any of them this time? Nah.
What? It's just as rewarding adding to basket.
You're weird.
And no fun.
Oh, leather jacket alert! - For me? - Yep.
$800?! Are you serious? Yeah.
Cost per wear.
I'd have to wear that to bed.
Every night.
OK, what about the $19 T-shirt? Maybe.
Do you think I should? - Yeah.
- No, I don't really need it.
Or do I? Oh, shit, there's only one left.
Should I? Do you think I should get that? - It's a white T-shirt.
- Should I get it? - Yeah, just - Should I? - Yeah.
- Yes? No.
I don't want Oh, gee Nup.
- Ooh.
- Are you OK? Mm-hm.
No, I'm-I'm good.
- How's work? - So painful.
But hey, nice job on the newsletter.
You're pumping them out.
It used to take you a whole week.
Yeah, got it down to four naps.
No time to procrastinate.
And your gender neutrality piece caused quite a stir.
- (GASPS) Did it? - Yeah.
What did people say? Sue said you were woke.
- She said I was woke? - Yeah.
- People think I'm woke.
- Yeah.
Sue does.
And they want to expand it into a research project.
- They don't? - Yeah.
Are you interested in, like, a one-off before you go? Ah, nah.
Actually, maybe.
It's been a good distraction.
From what? Good distraction from what? From from Verity, who is really exploiting this situation.
Hey, what should we eat? Pizza? Thai? Um I don't mind.
You choose.
Lebanese? - OK.
- No, Thai.
- OK.
- Or sushi? Do you feel like No, Thai.
- Thai.
Yeah.
I'm calling it.
Thai.
- Yep.
- Thai.
I'll get some pad see ew.
- Yum.
And then watch something? Maybe a movie? Some pad see ew.
And Paracetamol or Napro? I don't - There you go.
They're both there.
- Oh Oh, thanks.
(SIGHS, SNIFFLES) What are you watching? Vera Drake.
Don't watch Why are you watching that? It's clearly making you upset.
Why don't you try something like I don't know Juno.
She has the baby in that.
Oh.
Does she? Sorry.
Um, then what about that episode of Girls, where the blonde one has the abor No, she doesn't.
She gets her period! There are no good abortion ones.
I just don't know how this is helping.
Oh, God.
You don't understand women.
When you feel like a cry you watch something sad.
That's why your mum's always watching Lady Di's funeral.
Yeah? Yes.
Doesn't make sense.
I mean, if you're sad you want to watch something funny, like What's the one with Bea Arthur? The Golden Girls? No, the old one.
- The Golden Girls.
- No.
Sitcom.
The Golden Girls.
No.
Where she has the abortion.
They were in their 60s! Not the Golden Girls It's Maude! Maude's Dilemma.
First season, two eps.
Has the abortion at 47.
Bingo! (CRYING) That sounds great.
Can you download it for me? Yes, darling.
Yeah.
You're gonna love it.
Audrey? Audrey? Pad see ew or tom kha gai? Huh? I thought we were getting pizza.
Have you had a stroke? I'm choosing a movie.
Beaches? Ohhh! Beaches.
Yes! Beaches.
I feel like a cry.
Yeah, me too.
They're meant be really tight.
It should hurt to walk.
These are perfect, then.
I can't remember the last time that I went out without a curfew.
Well, that's depressing.
Benefits of being away from the wife and kid.
Don't, he's missing them.
And I don't want to spend another hour looking at baby photos.
It was 10 minutes, max.
I'm flying up to see them this weekend.
The other benefit being the sexting and the Skype sex.
Best sex I've had is online.
How is it? Oh, what goes online stays online.
Let's hope for the sake of your reputation that's not true, mate.
(LAUGHTER) (LOUD ROCK MUSIC) Nice.
You got it.
- Sweet.
- Easy.
Killer.
Nice one.
Your turn, mate.
Come on.
- Alrighty, then.
Looks simple enough.
- Come on, Jez.
You got it.
Here.
Yeah, two hands on the yellow.
Oop Maybe start with the V0s, they're the easy ones.
I think I almost had that.
Alright.
Cool.
Yeah, good.
Good start.
There's one for your right foot there, if you can get it up.
Use your core.
Can you get it up? Nah! You're meant to bend your knees and roll.
How's your back? Bit tight.
- Wanna stand up? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got you.
- Ready - Good one.
Alright.
Easy.
Easy.
OK? Yeah, might have a bit of a lie down.
Yeah, good call, good call.
(SQUIRTS) Think you'll need a little bit more than that, doctor.
Alright.
Shuffle your bottom down towards me, relax the thighs.
- Fists under your hipbones.
- Mm-hm.
Knees open all the way.
More.
More.
Um More.
It's involuntary.
Should we each take a thigh? No! No.
Ahh.
OK, inserting now.
It will feel a little cold.
- And we're in.
- Ow.
Interesting.
Zero.
What does that mean? Zero? Zero, today.
Doesn't mean we can't stimulate more eggs.
Though your age is against you.
Our success rate with women over 43 is less than 3%.
Can't we try our remaining embryo? We could, but it was graded a D.
Now, if only he'd focused more in class Eva was an A plus.
No, she was a B.
No, she wasn't a B.
The B didn't take, remember? Oh, yeah, that's right.
She was definitely an A plus.
There are no pluses, I'm afraid.
Well, she was very high, Dr Jolian! OK.
We'll know more about its quality once we've thawed the embryo.
But they'll never improve by the cryopreservation process.
I thought the freezing made it stronger.
It's not a superhero comic, Ruben.
Now, we could have a think about a donor egg, harvesting eggs of your own.
Or we could implant the D, but the chances of its taking are, in my opinion, very slim.
We should get the tests done but I guess there are some benefits to being one and done.
We don't have to worry about contributing to overpopulation, we can keep the Peugeot, we could still go to the business lounge.
They're really cracking down.
Fewer nappies, so less landfill.
We don't have to buy a double pram so we don't annoy everyone.
We could spoil Eva as much as we want.
But, hey, 3% is not nothing, so maybe we should look into harvesting some eggs? It's not like that we didn't know that this could happen.
I mean, we're old.
Bonjour.
Ca Va? Ca Va? Morning, Pierre.
Are there any specials? Les oeufs The eggs a la Francais.
Oh, yum.
Hmmm Actually, I might have granola.
I'll have the eggs Les oeufs.
They're scrambled, right? - Oeu.
- Oeu? - Oeu.
- Les oeu.
- Les oeu.
- Les oeu.
Oeu.
Oeu.
Les oeufs a la Francais.
- Les oeu - Oeu.
Oeu.
Oeu.
Oeu.
Oeu.
- Am I not saying that? Oeu.
- Oeu.
OK.
Thank you.
I'd like a latte as well, please.
So granola and a long black, thanks.
Preference for milk? From a cow.
And preferably not burnt.
Thank you, Pierre.
OK.
Actually, it's half past.
We stopped serving breakfast at 11.
I thought it was 10.
Sorry, Ester, no eggs for you.
Should we Facetime Daddy and show him you've given up until he gets here? Yeah? - Yep.
- (GURGLES) (SIGHS) (PHONE TRILLS) Oh Hi, guys.
You still in your PJs? I've put my back out again.
I think I've re-ruptured my ruptured disc.
Jesus.
As soon as I saw that pic I knew that was not going to end well.
Climbing is for young, fit people, not you.
It didn't even happen there.
It happened here.
I slipped in my socks.
Well, don't wear socks on tiles! - Wear your slippers.
- I didn't bring them.
Oh, actually, can you remind me to bring that brown peacoat next time I'm home? It's freezing here.
Which will be when exactly? You're going to miss your plane.
Get up.
And that coat isn't very warm.
Alright, here I go.
(GASPS) That's it! You're up! I'm up! No, no, no.
Not you.
Stevie! Look! Look, look, look! She's about to - Oh! - Oh! - Oh! - Nope.
You're as bad as each other.
Aud, bit of sympathy would be nice.
Are you going to make the plane? I can't even get up to take a wee let alone get on a plane.
I'm sorry to leave you for another weekend.
I need a doctor.
Seriously, Jeremy? Come on! God, I've been spending so much time alone I've literally started talking to myself.
And the conversations are not good.
I'm really very boring.
I'm sorry.
If I thought I could sit on a plane, I would.
(BABY GURGLES OVER MONITOR) WOMAN: To use the iControl Medi-Pelvic Floor Stimulator lie on your back, apply a small amount of lubrication to the stimulator, and insert into your vagina at least two inches.
You can increase or decrease the stimulation by using the arrow controls located at the base of the device.
(GURGLING CONTINUES) (GURGLING STOPS) (STIMULATOR BUZZES) (PHONE RINGS) Audrey! Hi.
No.
No, this is a great time.
Really good.
(DOORBELL CHIMES) Hi, Sophie.
(LAUGHS) Mwah! Hey, thank you so much for inviting us.
I actually wanted to talk to you about Stevie's party Hi.
- Oh, hi.
- Hi.
Thanks so much for coming.
And she loves the dress.
Oh, good.
I'm so glad.
Anyone else coming? (LAUGHS) Anyway, the reason that you're here is I just wanted to ask you both about your C-sections.
Oh.
Well, you first.
Yours was better.
(CLEARS THROAT) Oh, sure.
Well, it was very simple.
She was out in about 12 minutes.
I mean, it does feel like they're washing up inside your uterus, but then you're up and about in no time.
It was absolutely fine.
(GROANS, LAUGHS) OK.
We might need some alcohol.
Oh, sorry, no, you're pregnant.
Ah (LAUGHS) OK, well, I laboured for 40 hours but wasn't dilating and there was foetal distress.
And then my epidural failed three times, so I could feel everything.
What?! Oh, no, no, not the pain.
I could just feel what they were doing, because she was stuck and so they had to do a T incision, you know, the vertical ones, to get her out.
Um and then I nearly haemorrhaged to death.
(BABY GURGLES) But my vagina's great.
Like, really good.
Really intact.
- Good as new.
- Yes.
How likely are you to prolapse? No-one can tell me.
I've even asked Siri.
She was useless.
As usual.
So let's go through your options.
OK.
You go Au natural, everything's fine.
You go Au natural, your vagina collapses.
You have a Caesar, it's a dream.
You have a Caesar, there are complications, but your vagina's intact.
- Mm-hm.
- Or you terminate.
What?! Audrey! No.
I I would I would never I wouldn't.
Oh, no, that was just a joke.
I was joking.
But alarmingly, one in four women do, and the majority of women who do terminate are mothers apparently.
Not sure why I know that.
Ah (LAUGHS) Just a fun fact.
Not fun.
No-one wants to have an abortion.
No.
No-one.
It's fact.
It's a fact.
Facts.
Was any of that helpful? Not really.
Are you going to have more? Probably not.
We just found out that our last remaining frozen embryo isn't viable, so no more babies for me.
- Oh - Oh, Ester Ester, I'm so sorry.
Had I known Oh, no, no, no, no.
Don't be silly.
Your fertility has nothing to do with mine.
And what about you? I'm guessing from Stevie's party, she's going to wait a bit.
I imagine she'll need some time to get over that birth.
She might have PTSD.
Guys, I'm right here.
Oh, sorry.
You might have PTSD.
I'm going to give you a lift.
You can pop her in Eva's seat.
OK.
Thanks.
- It's open.
- Thank you.
OK, here we go.
No walking for us.
Goodness, this is clean.
So when did you terminate? What? What?! (LAUGHS) Why would you think that? What? No.
I didn't No.
It's OK if you don't want to talk about it.
There's nothing to What is there to talk about? There's nothing to talk about.
It's just I'm here if, you know Whatever.
Oh, thank you.
But that's I mean, I'm pro-choice.
I'm absolutely Of course.
We all are.
Are we? 'Cause she was a bit Not that Not that that matters.
I mean, it doesn't matter.
Everyone can think Doesn't matter.
It's completely fine.
Um Where are we off to? - Dropping you to your place.
- Oh, my God.
(LAUGHS) Yes! Completely forgot you were going to drive me home.
That's fantastic.
Thank you.
(YAWNS) God.
I'm exhausted.
Aw I had to step in and chair the equity board meeting for three, four hours.
- Oh! - Standing the whole time.
Physically exhausting.
And mentally.
Aw You poor darling.
I'm just going to go straight to sleep, I think.
I haven't got the energy to read.
Just - (YAWNS) - Alright.
Night-night.
Sweet dreams.
Mwah.
Yeah.
(GROANS) (STIMULATOR BUZZES) Wha Have you got a new toothbrush? Oh It's for pelvic floor.
Yeah, five times a day.
They said it's this it's it's this or or prolapse.
Uh keep it up, then.
- (BUZZING CONTINUES) - (PANTS SOFTLY) (PANTING INTENSIFIES) Oh Oh OK, bub.
I'm going to sit down Sit down for a sec while Mummy does this.
(GROANS) Good girl.
Hi.
Hello.
Hi.
Um It's the phone and wallet woman from the other day.
Hey, um, I don't suppose you found that brown peacoat that I mentioned? I was just wondering if you could hand that out if you've got it there.
Sorry.
Oh, great.
Thank you.
Actually, while I'm here, um there's a pair of women's jeans in that same bag.
They're You can't miss them.
They've got a really wide waistband, elastic waistband.
No, not those.
No.
Yes.
Yes! Thank you.
Thank you.
Actually, you know what? I'd like you to keep that.
You have that.
Great.
(PHONE CHIMES) Oh, shit.
Shit, shit, sh Shit, shit, shit, shit Oh! Oh, my God! (LAUGHS) Oh, my God, you're doing it.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God! (LAUGHS) Oh, my God.
Daddy's going to kill me if I don't get this.
Oh, fucking Cloud.
Keep going.
Keep going.
I'll just delete some photos (FUNKY, CHILLED MUSIC)