The Santa Clauses (2022) s02e02 Episode Script

-All rise.
-You know, let's not do that today, okay?
But protocol. I have a list here.
[chuckles]
You know, protocol's really Betty's thing.
Um, if I recall, you were the one who
came up with the "all rise" thing, sir.
It's a vivid memory.
You know,
you actually looked a lot younger then.
Edie, why don't you take a seat
next to Noel down there for today, okay?
Okay.
All right.
Everybody, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit.
Listen. Real special day today,
'cause we're transitioning
to include the family in the business.
-Mm-hmm.
-So my family's gonna be joining us
here at the big meetings.
You know Cal. Of course Mrs. Claus.
-Sandra is…
-Just doing Sandra things.
Sandra is just doing Sandra things
right now,
but we have some big news.
Let's start with Mrs. Claus.
Okay. Um, as you all know,
I have taken over the E.L.F.S.,
and we are on the case
of the missing nutcracker.
[chuckles] I mean,
who needs a nutcracker really?
[both chuckle]
[Scott] I'm with you, Edie. A nutcracker?
Just get a spare shoe. Boom.
Nut is cracked.
[Carol inhales]
I think, more interesting is,
we should be looking into those missing
pages of The Book of Santa Lore.
Some mystery Santa Claus
called "Magnus Anthill."
-No, no, no. It's, uh-- [stutters]
-Magnus Antas.
-[elves gasp]
-Shh.
I just like being right.
-Huh. Missing pages.
-Yeah.
Maybe it's somehow connected.
-To the nutcracker?
-Yeah.
Well, i-it could be. Listen.
Bigger news, though, is Cal's training
to be the next Santa starts today.
-[gasps] Whoo-hoo! Go, Cal! Whoo!
-[elves groan]
In order to do the job,
you gotta look the part,
so the elves and I made you
a training vest.
Give it a shot. Look at this.
Try it on there. There you go.
Awesome! [chuckles]
I feel like a Girl Scout.
-Well, w-w-- Okay.
-Yeah.
And some of the fabric in that
came out of Saint Nicholas's coat,
-so it's full of magic.
-[elves gasp]
And this needs to be respected, Son.
[sighs]
I like how it's a vest instead of a coat.
Really shows off your arms. [whistles]
[elves groaning]
Uh, thanks again, Dad,
for letting Riley stay.
No, it's great. As long as it doesn't
interfere with what we do around here.
No, no. It-It won't.
See? They're-They're-- They're good.
Okay. Well, let's get to it.
[arrow whistles]
[Cupid] How about this one?
What do you call a jalapeño
that went to medical school?
-Doctor Pepper.
-[chuckles]
That's hysterical.
Tip your waitresses, everybody.
Listen. This-- These jokes are great,
but w-why did you fly to the North Pole?
I mean, did-did-did I forget
Valentine's Day or something?
What are you up to?
Take it easy.
I'm not spying on you, all right?
Well, why are you here?
Again, not spying.
Let me preface this by saying
don't shoot the messenger.
Some of the Legendaries,
uh, Mother Nature, Easter Bunny, Sandman--
Okay, all of them are a little concerned
about your son being the next Santa.
How did they know about that?
I told them. I'm spying on you.
I thought the deal was we don't interfere
in each other's business.
Yeah, that was until
you left us in the dark all last year.
You retired too soon,
chose the wrong successor,
and then came back and got rid of him.
Like a hero.
[steam hissing]
Sorry, Dad. Riley needed a pick-me-up.
[chuckles]
Where is the thermostat?
It is so cold here.
Guys, I'm having a meeting.
-[sighs]
-Oh! Sorry, Dad.
And sorry, Mr. Cupid. [chuckles]
-Aw, you're such a little baby.
-Am not.
Aw. [gasps] Peekaboo! [gasps]
-Peekaboo! Peekaboo! Aw. [chuckles]
-[giggles]
-Guys.
-Sorry. Yeah.
Well, that was humiliating.
-Ooh, what's that?
-Isn't it cool?
You don't happen to have an arrow
that stops love, do ya?
Ah, life just does that.
Plus there's nothing I can do
for these two. That's first love.
No magic can overcome first love.
I'm just worried about Cal.
And despite all the things you've heard,
I really believe that Cal has
what it takes to be the next Santa.
That's tough, because I really
only deal in romantic love.
Plus, as you know, I can't have kids.
How would I know that?
Although, I have observed that
nothing will break the heart like family.
Right. Family. My family, my business.
I don't think there's any reason
for you guys to step in there
and start pointing fingers.
-You know, I could do the same.
-Could not.
-Could too.
-Really?
Does Mrs. Cupid know that it took,
like, five and a half arrows
to get her attention?
Okay, I'll talk to the others.
Get 'em to calm down.
But if Cal's not Santa material
in three months, we're meddling.
W-W-Wait, before you go-- [stammers]
Have you heard of a old--
a previous Santa called, uh, "Magi Agi"?
No, no. Um, "Magnus Angina."
-Magnus Antas?
-Yes.
Never heard of him.
You just said his name.
Truth be told, all you Santas look alike.
Yeah. Well, fly home safe,
or run into something cold and sharp.
-[theme playing]
-[choir harmonizing]
[harmonizing continues]
["Jingle Bells" plays]
[Edie] Santa asking about
the missing book pages.
Mrs. Claus looking for the nutcracker.
When they find out
they're both looking for the Mad Santa,
they're gonna be so mad.
And then we'll have another Mad Santa.
The cycle repeats.
Get ahold of yourself!
[gasps] Um, did you just shake me?
Yes, which is bad 'cause I'm usually
the shooken, not the shaker.
-[Edie breathes shakily]
-Relax, Edie.
It would take an insane amount of magic
to get him out of the nutcracker.
Good. Because if Mad Santa ever gets free,
he'll unleash his fury on the world.
[Mad Santa chuckles]
So you're telling me, with this slab,
I can communicate with others,
take self-etchings,
and order gruel and herring
at the same time?
-What a wonderful world this is.
-[Kris chuckles]
My stepmother wants to boil me
So her son inherits the clock ♪
And a happy New Year ♪
-[chuckles]
-That is not how it ends.
Oh, this is incredible.
I-I can't believe I'm standing here
singing with the real Santa Claus.
-Magnus Antas.
-[stammers] Yeah.
But we're friends now, so you may call me
the Magnificent Magnus Antas.
[stammers] I notice that you have a little
more movement in your arms and legs.
You think maybe I--
I can get that hug now?
[sighs] Approach.
[chuckles] Bring it in. Bring it in.
-[growls]
-[screams] What's that on your back?
-[grunts]
-[shouts]
-Olga!
-[growls]
You were frozen with me?
Olga. I-- Is that your elf?
No, no. She's a gnome. [grunts]
Gnome?
Since when does Santa Claus have gnomes?
I-I invested all this money in elf ears.
Elves.
-She's adorable.
-No. No. She--
-[growls]
-[shouts]
-She will bite you.
-Yeah, I see that.
[Mad Santa groans]
Scott.
Did you notice the elves acting weird
when the nutcracker was mentioned?
900-year-olds that look like kids
with pointy ears.
What's not weird about that?
[chuckles] I've said it before, the
constant secrecy around here is bonkers.
Yeah, I hear what you're saying.
'Cause I'm still looking for
that beautiful red sweater that I have
that says,
"I see you when you're sleeping."
And the elves,
they don't know what happened to it.
Oh. Yeah. That's weird.
You know what else is weird,
is wh-what's with our daughter?
I'm doing all this work
to keep the family together,
kind of hard without the family together.
She's going through some changes.
She's discovered
that she has extraordinary powers.
That's daunting. I've been through it.
It requires self-reflection and listening.
Yeah,
those are definitely your superpowers.
I'll have a chat with her.
I think that her problems may be
less magical and more biological.
[chuckles] Puberty.
-You talk to her.
-You can't go to a teenage girl.
You have to let them come to you.
It's like cats.
[pan flute playing]
[knocking]
Bambina, come in.
[sucks teeth] Oy.
[speaks Italian]
[gasps] Oh, something happened.
Tell La Befana.
I shot a spark from my hand.
[gasps] Ooh.
I was so frustrated.
To be honest, ever since animals realized
that I can understand them,
it's been a lot.
Yes, if they have a sympathetic ear,
they never stop with the yakety-yakking.
Except, funny enough, yaks.
They don't have much to say.
But I can help you with the animals.
It's weird because,
well, Cal and I both have magic, right?
But he got the fancy Santa powers,
-and I'm stuck with whatever this is.
-[La Befana] Mmm.
The North Pole is otherworldly.
Full of magical beings.
Not just Santa magic. All kinds.
I am not the only witch
who has called this home.
And when I look at you…
Wait.
Are you saying that I might be a witch?
Well, you are very pretty,
but there is still time.
Your wart is coming in.
I think it is a nose one.
-I don't see it. I'm--
-Just like mine.
-It is, like, cute.
-No.
-And we are like twins with warts.
-No. It's not cute, and we are not twins.
-No?
-Because that is a freckle.
-That is a freckle.
-Oh.
You know what?
Maybe I'm like a Sugar Plum Fairy.
Like something more Christmassy?
You are a human born at the North Pole.
Who knows how this could develop?
But tell me what happened with your hand.
I-I was really annoyed.
And I had
all of these bottled-up feelings,
and I wanted to get them out,
so I went like this.
[sighs] Like--
[groans]
Now I look like a stupid, dumb dummy!
Oh.
So it only happens when you are mad.
This is not good.
It is very Italian, but it is not good.
But I can help you.
Do your parents know?
No. If it's not free or has nothing
to do with Christmas, my dad won't get it.
Okay. I cannot help you
if they don't know that I'm helping you.
Your papa is a Santa.
He's more cordial to me
than those of the past.
I would like to keep it that way.
Fine. I will tell them.
Just for you.
[speaking Italian]
And don't worry, I will clean up.
[rumbling]
[panting, sighs]
Nice.
[grunting]
[gasps, chuckles]
[hums]
-[gasps, grunts]
-[screams]
Wh-What are you doing in my house?
[grunts] I'm s-- I'm s--
-[alarm blaring]
-Who takes cookies from a pregnant woman?
-[Cal grunting]
-[Scott] Stop. Stop. Stop.
Congratulations. You're dead.
Okay, the entry was not bad.
But you went right to eating
one of the cookies.
You save the cookies till the end,
all right?
-Oh.
-And why were you wrestling with the tree?
That's a fleetwood pine.
Very noncombative.
Just try to get along with the tree, okay?
We got three months
to work this thing out.
Wait, wait, wait. What about--
What about three months? What?
Never mind.
[gasps] You did awesome, Floofy.
-Thanks, Floofy.
-[chuckles]
-Floofy?
-Oh, yeah.
That's our nickname for each other.
Isn't it so cute?
I don't know.
Uh, why don't you ask the real Floofy?
All right. I wanna reset this, okay?
Load it up again, guys.
All right. We're gonna do it again.
[chuckles] "Elfstorations." Oh, man.
Hey, Kris. Why's the museum closed?
My snow globe actually turned into a Santa
and a gnome from the 14th century.
Now I gotta go find 'em
some pickled goat leg.
You know how it is.
Kris, if you need to talk,
I'll be around, okay?
Uh, you know I'd love to stay and chat,
but I promised I'd hurry back so,
uh, gotta run.
[laughs] Oh, man.
Could my day get any better?
Oh, boy. I do not want to have
to start looking for another job.
[growls] It's time to go to war.
Take back what was taken from us.
Kill everyone!
Or… no.
[scoffs]
The murder, the hostility, the revenge,
it all just seems like a lot, Olga.
I'm happy. I'm free.
I'm comfortable.
I was a-a nutcracker for seven centuries.
Where's the Santa I used to know?
Your motto used to be "churn and burn."
I was overtired. I was overworked.
That 700-year nap, it hit the spot.
And this Kris fellow,
he seems like a pleasant soul.
In his dwelling, I have not seen one club,
one guillotine.
We have to think that people have changed.
Have you not learned anything from
those reality dating shows he watches?
Hmm.
People never change.
Well, you'll just have to give it time.
[scoffs] I'm not here to make friends.
Open your mind to the possibility
that humanity has evolved
and there's no more animosity.
Listen to yourself!
You're getting soft like a wet cashew.
What about those who wronged us?
Sometimes you just have to let things go.
Oh. [chuckles]
Look, I got the feeling back into my arms.
[grunts] Okay.
[groans, coughs]
Deserved it.
[sighs]
-[Sandra] Dad?
-Hi.
Um,
I'm sorry I missed the meeting earlier.
I'm just going through stuff.
Um, I know-- I know you are. Ar-Are you?
I-I think you are.
I mean, I'm just glad you're better.
Thank you.
Um,
can I hang out with La Befana for a bit?
That would be very kind of you.
She could probably use company right now.
It must be difficult having people be
scared of you all the time, right?
Scared?
I-It's not-not her fault.
-I mean, she's a good one.
-A good one?
She's a witch.
[gasps] Really? I didn't know that.
Well, it happens to all of them.
Them? Who is them?
God, you're so judgmental.
C-C-Carol.
[pings]
Gary, I was checking old security footage.
Uh-oh.
Yeah. "Uh-oh."
All of the cameras are pointed
at La Befana's cabin.
And she hasn't done anything.
[scoffs] What about crimes of the heart?
Gary, it was one date, 200 years ago.
You have to get over it.
Hey, any luck convincing the old E.L.F.S.
to come back?
They all said
it was a toxic work environment.
Go figure.
-Mmm.
-Mom?
There she is. Hi.
If you ever need to talk about anything,
I'm here.
-Female stuff. Believe it or not, I--
-Gary! Please.
No, I just feel like we should hang out,
you know?
[clattering]
-Mmm. Sounds fun.
-Yeah.
What do you think of La Befana?
-Well, actually--
-Hey.
I have tremendous respect
for any woman who isn't defined by a man.
-I mean, it's The Befana, right?
-Right. Mm-hmm.
It's not Mrs. Befana.
Okay. So, sister solidarity aside,
what do you think of her?
Well, I think she's kooky.
[chuckles] Really sweet.
Like kooky-- How d--
How do you mean kooky?
She's a witch. It's nothing but spiders
and cobwebs up there, literally.
You and Dad are the same.
What is wrong with you?
Hey, no, no, no. Sandra?
Hey. What did I say?
I know what you're going through!
-[sighs]
-[door slams]
Scott!
Now lift the owl feather with your mind.
[La Befana gasps]
[speaking Italian]
-That was amazing. Oh, my gosh.
-[chuckles]
Now, the plant.
Mamma mia!
-[sighs]
-Here we go again.
I don't know why this keeps happening.
Magic takes focus.
There must be something on your mind
because you are all loopy boopy.
No idea what you're talking about.
You know, I can see your thoughts.
Fine. I meant to tell my parents,
but they don't get it.
[chuckles] You know,
I can't really see your thoughts,
but part of being a good witch
is to trick people.
You have to tell them,
or I can't teach you.
And if you don't get help
controlling your powers,
there's no telling where this might lead.
Okay. I have it under control.
Ooh.
[sighs, stammers]
I don't have it under control. [mutters]
You know,
that was one of my favorite hats.
[softly] I'm so sorry.
Shoot. Lost again.
Good game, Gary.
Did you complete the analysis on the hair
we found on the nutcracker safe?
Yes. You were right.
It's hair.
Whose is it?
They asked me if I wanted to know that,
and I said don't bother.
I'll send it back.
Oh, my God.
Okay, listen,
in order to be a perfect future Santa,
you gotta learn from the Santas
that came before you.
But didn't you only do that last month?
God, I miss Betty.
-Let's just get to the history.
-Uh, right. Okay.
Well, what we know as Santa,
all began with Saint Nicholas
honoring the birth of Jesus.
Which is a perfect place to start.
But let's move ahead
to the "Magnus Cum Laude."
Or the-- You know, the-- the guy.
Uh, right.
Well, like most Santas before him,
Magnus Antas was based in Europe.
Times were tough and humans tried to take
advantage of both Christmas and elf magic.
So, Magnus Antas moved the operation
to a place where magic flourished
without threat from the outside.
The journey there was arduous.
It was a giant magic snowball.
It was so fun.
Magnus Antas invited elves
from all over the world
but made treaties
with the others inhabiting these parts.
Witches, fairies,
gnomes.
He built a utopia.
Which is when I first came here
and met Betty.
Ooh, I wanna hear about that.
We're not here
to talk about you and Betty.
I'd like to hear about it too.
It all started in the 12th century.
It was day.
No. Night.
No. Day.
Anyone ever notice how it's hard to tell
what time it is here?
A new snowball's arriving today.
Wanna see if there's
any handsome elves? [chuckles]
[sighs] Edie,
this is how you always get in trouble.
[Edie gasps] Oh, my gosh.
They're already here.
Wow. This place is amazing.
I'm gonna be so happy living here.
Not me.
This looks like a place
to make a quick fortune and move on.
Sucker. Rube. Mark. Soup. Chump.
Hey, toots. You know where I can find
a nice bath and a cot?
Are you talking to me?
I'm not Toots. He's the Head Elf.
And it's pronounced Toots.
Oh. You just look like
you should be the Head Elf.
Head Elf? Me? [chuckles]
[Mad Santa]
Order me another grouse of legs.
Here comes Toots now,
with the Great One himself.
I'm thinking about changing my greeting
from "wanga-banga-langa"
to a simple "ho ho ho."
Genius. What a day.
First, going to a bigger belt buckle,
and now this.
Mmm. Yes.
I see you staring at my belt buckle.
What are your thoughts? Too garish?
It's spectacular, sir.
Mmm. Thank you, um…
Betty.
-B-B-Betty?
-[Betty] Betty.
-Betty.
-I got it right. Right, Betty?
-Betty.
-Betty.
Betty.
Let's go, Toots.
[Toots] It's Toots.
Do not correct me, please.
[sighs] Let's get out of here.
[gasps] Go to the tavern.
You two play darts?
Never tried, but sounds fun.
I'm gonna finish this job.
I'm gonna stay behind too.
Suit yourself.
Keep an eye on her.
She's terrible at darts.
[Edie scoffs] I never miss.
My name's Noel. At least it was.
[chuckles] Let me guess.
Processing center shortened it to Noel?
-Yeah.
-I used to be Bethina. [chuckles]
[Noel gasps]
[gasps] After a whirlwind 200-year
courtship, Betty and I made it official.
-We left on our honeymoon.
-Honeymoon, yeah. [chuckles]
That is the greatest love story
I've ever heard.
Next to ours.
We're like Romeo and Juliet.
And boy, that ended well.
Wait a minute. Betty told me
she never left the North Pole.
She gets confused sometimes.
The point is,
by the time we returned to the North Pole,
the Magnus Antas reign was over.
Which is why I don't know how it ended.
Me too. I was gone too.
You know what's really amazing is
I've never heard of him before.
When I was in the Yule-verse,
I-I don't remember meeting him.
Uh, well, I'm sure he was there.
He was just, uh, very…
-Quiet. Quiet.
-Quiet. And unassuming. [chuckles]
Yes, it is me, Magnus Antas!
Bask in my glow!
You're welcome. You're welcome! [chuckles]
Blessed are ye! You're welcome.
W-Where did you get
all the figs and walnuts?
Do not question the Great One,
you peasant.
Okay. Okay. But-But now that I'm
with the real Santa, how'd I do?
How close is this to the real North Pole?
Well, instead of reindeer, you have goats.
That's the only difference?
[scoffs] Winning.
It's enchanting.
Is-Is the rest of the world like this now?
Well, if it was, I wouldn't have to build
this place, now, would I?
Ah, yes. Ah.
-[grunts] There you are. You're welcome.
-[Santapolis guest] Hey!
[snarls] Elves.
So, this Magnus Antas was the first Santa
to close the North Pole to outsiders.
Sounds like a-- a very, very wise Santa.
He was something. Really something.
Well,
these old Santas really raised the bar.
So we're gonna have to double down
on your training.
[clicks tongue] Oh. You're already
number one in my book, Floofy.
-[sighs]
-Yeah. Get your head in the game, Floofy.
You think he bought it?
Hopefully no one ever spills the beans
about what really happened.
Betty, let's get out of here.
I'm working. I'll be home soon.
No. Out of here, out of here.
Before it's too late.
Edie, Gary, Crouton, Pontoon,
they're all going.
There's nothing here for us anymore.
Ever since Santa started listening to
the gnomes and went mad.
There's Christmas.
Our purpose.
What else do we have? Where would we go?
I'd rather stay and fight for what we have
than run away.
Who's running away?
Don't I give you everything?
You're just like everyone else
in the world, always wanting more.
Well, no one's leaving here. Ever.
[exclaims, shivers]
I thought we were here
to keep the world out, not to keep us in.
What's the difference?
Olga!
Take them away! Roughly!
Don't listen to the gnomes, Santa!
Their tongues are as untrustworthy
as their unnaturally round ears!
Don't worry about it. It's fine.
Can't we get, like, a wooden throne
or something? [shivers]
N-Nope, never mind.
The ice sets a tone. Sets a tone.
Well, will you look at that?
I was the first Santa to say "ho ho ho",
and they're still using it today.
I matter.
You're not Santa.
Oh, really?
Then I guess
you don't want these figs and walnuts?
-[Mad Santa chuckles]
-I want Roblox.
Who is this Roblox they keep speaking of?
Is he another Santa?
What did he invent?
Certainly not good manners!
[chuckles]
Roblox is actually online gaming.
It's really, really hard to explain.
But, yeah, kids aren't always grateful
for simple pleasures these days.
Parents too.
What more do they want?
They have miracles in their hands.
Mom!
-[Kris] I know. We try to give 'em…
-Let's go.
…an escape from it all,
but doesn't always work.
I will cane all of you!
-Cute.
-Ew!
What? No.
No! No! No!
It's "ho ho ho," fake Santa.
You little scalawag!
If I had my amulet,
I'd turn you into Roblox!
Assuming that's bad.
It would be bad to turn him into a Roblox.
Good.
That's what I'd turn him into then.
A Roblox.
[growls]
It says here that the first artifacts
went missing decades ago,
and that each case was investigated by you
and declared unsolvable.
[gulps] Let me see that.
[electricity crackles]
Hey! What'd you do?
Sometimes electrical equipment shorts out
around me.
It's the darnedest thing.
You should have that checked out.
[Gary] I'll add that to my list.
Hey!
[gasps] "Hide nutcracker evidence."
I didn't write that.
I don't know anything about Magnus Antas
being trapped as a nutcracker.
Wait.
I'm not saying another word
without my lawyer present.
Who's your lawyer?
I represent myself.
And I've been disbarred.
Oh, good. You're home.
Today was horrible.
I'm under so much pressure.
But I think I got everyone
off the Mad Santa track.
You're right. Where are my manners?
How was your day?
-[horns honking]
-[techno music playing on speakers]
[shutter clicks]
Hey, Sandra. Sandra, hold on.
Come in here a minute.
So, um-- So what's-- what's going on?
Nothing. Just normal, regular girl stuff.
Yeah.
Wait a second. L-Listen, listen.
[sighs]
I realize that I've been spending a-a lot
of time with Cal, and it's-it's not fair.
And you have every right to be upset
that one day Cal's gonna be Santa Claus.
Oh. No. I mean-- Well, yeah.
Yeah, I guess I was a little at first,
but seriously, it's cool.
Yeah, well, he's got a lot of powers
that need to be dealt with, okay?
And so do you.
And I want you part of this whole thing.
There's no Christmas without you, honey.
-[sighs]
-Hey, hey, hey.
Uh, I-- I don't think I can finish
all this ice cream by myself.
[chuckles] Pretty sure you can.
Probably, but, hey, grab a spoon.
[sighs]
Elves bells! [chuckling]
How did you do that?
[sighs]
Dad… [sighs]
…I have to tell you something.
I think I'm becoming a witch.
Look, my powers have been getting stronger
ever since we got back to the North Pole.
And La Befana says
it's because of Christmas spirit.
La Befana?
We've been training together.
I'm really sorry
that I didn't just come to you. [chuckles]
So that's it?
-[sighs]
-Yeah. You-You're not mad?
[clicks tongue] Am I mad? Well, who am I?
Santa Claus.
And where do we live?
The North Pole.
Are you okay? Do I need to call someone?
Our family isn't normal.
We're all full of magic.
And you'd have to do a lot worse
than becoming a witch to scare me.
[chuckles] You are so much more
than a witch, my dear.
You're a Claus.
And many other things,
but mostly you're a Claus.
[chuckles] You're the best, Dad.
Okay. [chuckles]
I'm gonna eat this by myself then.
Hi, Mom. Bye, Mom.
Hey. What?
She's so happy. What is that?
Oh, we had a nice conversation.
It's not about puberty. She's a witch.
-Oh. Oh!
-[chuckles]
I should go talk to her.
-No. No. I'm gonna let her come to me.
-Ah.
-I was right.
-About?
About the missing pages from your book
and the nutcracker. Yes.
Right, right. Okay. Go. Go.
-It all traces back to Magnus Antas.
-Of course.
Somehow, he got turned into a nutcracker.
-Could that happen to any Santa?
-I guess.
And then Gary sold it on the black market
to pay for his gambling debts.
Gary loves to play the My Little Ponies.
Mmm, yeah. And the elves are being
really cagey about it.
Is that something for us to worry about?
I don't know.
[grunts] Oh, after 700 years,
people are only getting worse!
And now this new Santa wants to reward
them with magic!
Magic! [sighs]
-What's that on your back?
-What?
"Jingle bells. Santa smells"!
Oh! That's it.
I tried to play nice, but no more.
We are going to take back the North Pole,
and when we end this weak Santa,
the whole world will pay!
-Let's get some rest. Okay?
-[grunts]
-Sorry.
-[grunts]
After seven centuries,
it's the only way I can sleep.
[cackling]
All right. All right!
If you're gonna sleep on my back,
I need you to be quiet.
-[scoffs]
-Let's do one more together. Here we go.
-[both cackle]
-And we're done.
[both snoring]