The Weekenders (2000) s02e02 Episode Script

The Tradition

1
Oh, hey, it's Tino.
Listen, y'seen Tish?
Keep a close eye on her,
'cause she is acting weird.
And not her usual poetry-reading, dulcimer-playing kinda weird,
like cry for help weird.
Pizza!
Dude, I thought that bell
was never gonna ring!
Pizza!
Research has proven that time actually
slows down right before the bell.
Pizza!
Yeah, Carver, in a minute.
First we got to swing by Tish's house.
I left my hat there the other day.
My house?
Oh, no, no, can't go there.
It's.. being fumigated!
Because of the bugs.
Quarantined.
Gas leak!
Radiation!
Tish, you know you stink at lying.
Why don't you just tell us why you don't
want us to go by your house?
Well
I don't know how I can
make this any clearer.
Pi - zza!
You, sir, are nothing if not determined.
It's important to set goals
and work toward 'em.
We the people, in order to make a more
perfect pizza, establish crustiness,
ensure domestic tranquillages.
Bravo, bravo!
Can we have the pizza now?
Yeah, okay, fine.
I'm avoiding my house
because of Mamatusche.
It's this weird old country ceremony,
and I want nothing to do with it.
We shouldn't let this get cold.
In my parents'
homeland, everyone has to
accept Mamatusche when
they reach a certain age.
And I just reached it.
It's your birthday again, already?
No, they celebrate Mamatusche
on the half birthday,
just to make it as weird
as it can possibly be.
Hey, this is pretty good.
It's supposed to mark your passage into
adulthood.
I don't know much about it, just that it
involves a lot of yodeling.
Ew.
Yeah, on the Ick Scale,
yodelling is up there with toenail fungus.
Mm, I think they used
extra cheese this time!
My parents keep saying they want me to be
a normal American girl.
But then they bake me like a goat's milk
birthday cake or something.
How am I supposed to be normal with that
kind of thing going on?
Now they expect me to spend
three weeks studying for Mamatusche.
What are you supposed to start studying?
Um, three weeks ago?
It's on Sunday.
Oh.
They think I've been
studying this whole time.
But I've just been sitting in my room
reading Bukowski.
Ah.
I'm not doin' it and they can't make me!
I'll just live here for the rest of my
life and eat pizza.
Oh, did you guys want some too?
Is it..
Nonno?
Tishy~!
Nonno!
What are you doing here?
Ah, I fly all the way here
for sweet Tishy's Mamatusche!
Oh.
Now, I express joy of seeing you in
tradition of old country way.
Wait!
Nonno!
Whoa ah -- !
Too old-fashioned for Tishy, huh?
Mm, it's time Nano learn new dance,
yes?
It's time Tishy learn old dance.
You must learn special
dance for Mamatusche.
And you must learn
yodelling and family history!
But you have been studying, is right?
Well, uh
Why you ask?
Of course she studying.
If she's not ready for Mamatusche,
she break Nonno's heart.
Oh, she's been studying all right.
We've all been helping her.
Sure, yeah.
And we were just about to go help her
study some more.
Right.
At my place.
Uh, come on.
Okay.
Uh, bye.
Alright.
I know Mamatusche seems like a giant pain.
But you saw how much it
means to your parents. And to Nonno!
It's only going to be a bigger pain if you
don't go through with it.
Your parents will be mad.
Or worse, they'll be "disappointed in you."
Oh, man, I hate that.
Yeah, you're right.
But how am I going to cram three weeks of
studying into just tomorrow?
What are you talking about, dude?
You're the master of studying.
Well, I guess I can do it.
With us helping, of course you can.
We'll start tomorrow morning.
How hard could it be?
Hey, Tish.
We're all ready to
where are you going?
Well, I got to get the
Mamatusche study materials.
This might be harder than I thought.
Okay.
I read the Junior Jumbo Book of
Mamatusche last night.
There's some yodelling, and there's
a dance I have to know.
But mostly I have to learn my family
history.
And these are my family history.
There's like 50 books here!
At school, we only have one
book for all the U.S. history!
Yeah, well, the problem is my family keeps
track of everything.
So you get stuff like Tuesday.
Cod More swallowed a pebble.
The goats were sad.
Alright, kids, there's lots to do.
So let's get to work.
We'll be at this all day.
Well, that's all I can stand.
How about you guys?
Can't take another second.
Brain hurts already.
Time for a break.
A permanent one.
You guys can't give up now.
Tish has to be ready by tomorrow.
How did you have you been spying on us?
Technically, it's not spying
when you're all in my house.
She's been spying on us.
I want to show you guys something.
My father wrote down everything he knew
about our family in this book.
It's our family history.
And what do you notice about this book?
Um, it's dusty?
Yeah.
And it's only 20 pages long.
This is all we know about our family.
Tish, you're lucky to have all those
books.
It is kind of cool to have all the history
and traditions and stuff.
Yeah, the only tradition we
have is Tuesdays are Squid Night!
Well, that and the traditional dance
handed down to me by my mother.
Oh, please don't do the dance.
She's doin' the dance.
Our people call this "The Twist"!
Guys, do you think maybe we could go back
to the books?
You got it.
Bovee Nia was lost for
two hours in the wood
of Flintsk with but six
wheels and six pieces.
And so it came to pass
that Glockmira wed Tusknart.
And Langsner begat Bleenflore and
Bleenflore begat Snudpask and Snudpask begat
Yay, verily did Groglone make a waffle more
delicious than any known to mortal man.
Mind if I'm joining you?
Nonno.
Oh, no, not at all.
You know, Tishy.
I got grandfather.
"Fofo", we call him.
Your great-great-grandfather.
Now, Fofo teaching me things about
our family and about himself.
And one day you teach your grandchildy,
about our family, and about Fofo, and me.
And they teach their grandchildy
about Fofo, and me, and you!
In this way, even though Fofo is long gone
now, never really gone.
And that is what Mamatusche is for.
You see?
I see, Nonno.
Thank you.
Hey, Tish, you look great.
I think everything's set.
Everything except me.
Ah, you'll be fine.
Just don't spit up.
I make no promises.
Welcome, everyone,
to Mamatusche,
of Petratishkovna, who
you are calling "Tish"!
On this day of days, we mark beginning of
new journey.
Journey into responsibility that come with
being adult Katsufrakis person.
Tishy, please stepping forward.
We begin with traditional
Yodel and Response!
Now is coming family heritage.
Remember to hit traditional
Mamatusche bell before answer.
Okay.
Which Katsufrakis' goat,
beat the Viceroy's prize sow?
Mecorp?
Yes!
What did Bolagon Katsufrakis foolishly
throw away?
Uhh, a perfectly good broom?
Most good!
In what year was Lorbi Katsufrakis crowned
sausage queen?
It - it was
Sorry.
It was the year of the wheezing donkey?
Judges?
I am sorry, Tishy.
It was year of swollen donkey.
Very close.
Sorry.
Don't crying!
I'm sorry, Nonno.
I put off studying too long
and I let you down!
Ohhh, you don't letting me down, Tishy.
You know, at my Mamatusche,
I don't get even one question right.
Really?
Yes!
You don't need know all
answers to all questions.
What is important, is now you
have interest in family history.
I am sure you will go back and learn more
later, yes?
I promise I will.
Then all is good!
Aww, thanks, Nonno!
I love you.
Awww, Nonno love you too,
little Petratishkovna.
Hello, peoples.
I declaring, Petratishkovna
has completed Mamatusche,
and is official adult
Katsufrakis person.
Okay, now you clap, now you clap.
Score!
And now, I'm wishing you all
to join me, in new traditional dance
I learning here in Bahia Bay,
and will be taking
back to my village.
Woohoo!
Shake it, Nonno!
Yeah, my mom showed it to him.
What else is new?
I tell you right now, do not
bring my mom to your Mamatusche.
Not unless you want people winding up
Twistin'.
It's like she thinks she's Johnny
Twist-seed or something.
Okay, later days.
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