The Wrong Mans (2013) s02e02 Episode Script
Action Mans + Wise Mans
1 Your brother was killed by Pinkett and Bourne, but they died in a car bomb.
The moment I'd got back with Lizzie, I was ripped away from her.
Rosa's not just my girlfriend, she's my soul mate, my companion.
You knew that if you stayed in Bracknell, you risked not 'only your own lives, but the lives of your families and loved ones.
' My mum's ill and Janice, our neighbour, says she doesn't think she's going to make it till Christmas.
Let's go home, Phil.
Can you help us get documents to get back to Britain? ~ I don't do that stuff.
~ Well, can you tell us who does? Carlos Espinosa.
I'm arresting you for intent to traffic cocaine under section 841 of the Controlled Substance Act.
Two white boys, just like y'all, got transferred out last night for their own safety.
I thought most people put up pictures of boobs.
Who gets off on mathematical equations? There's a reward for any information that leads to Espinosa's whereabouts.
Mr Espinosa thought maybe you could do him a little favour.
I killed his only son and ten of his other men, took down his biggest ever trade, buried it somewhere so secret, so remote, that only I will ever know.
Yah! He said he's got the money locked away and his eye is the key.
The moment we have it, you're on your way.
We were told to give you guys these.
Oh, OK, and what about the eye? Where's Carlos? Who the hell is Carlos? Did you bring them? (The you-know-what's?) Are you definitely all right to have them? (Yeah, yeah, it's fine, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
) (Then why are we whispering?) (They're just a bit funny about what I eat in here.
) Quick, quick, quick, clever girl, clever girl.
Clever girl.
(Oh, that was close.
) So how are you feeling? Shouldn't I be asking you that? Hm, but you look tired.
I'm fine.
I'm just working late a lot on this.
I don't see how they can keep ignoring us.
None of the evidence has been released.
We never saw the bodies.
A full inquiry is the only way It won't bring him back, you know.
I know.
I just .
.
want the truth.
I want my boy back.
Same way I want my husband back.
And I don't think an inquiry is going to do that.
They've gone, Lizzie.
It's time to let go.
(But these help a little bit.
) OK.
Linda! How many times? You're not allowed Wagon Wheels! Let me introduce you to the last and most important members of our team, Jeremy Gardner and Mitch Steele.
Who's who? I'm Mitch Steele, Mitch Steele, Jeremy.
Jeremy Gardner.
Jez.
Have you any idea how hard it was to find you guys? You've been transferred to three different prisons in the last eight months.
~ I'm sorry.
~ I know, it's a nightmare.
Just when we get settled somewhere, we've got to pack up all our stuff and Not that we've got any stuff as such cos we're prisoners so ~ it's fine.
~ Are you joking with me? These are the guys we waited three weeks to break out? Mitch and Jeremy are the best.
None of us can do what they do.
~ Thanks.
~ What these two don't know about deadly chemical compounds is not worth knowing.
And you've handled VX before? Hm.
~ Big time.
~ What bombs have you made? Well, you name it.
No, you name it.
We spent a lot of money to get you here.
I want to know that you are the people we need.
Oh, erm Car bombs.
Time bombs.
Time bombs that we've put in cars.
Car time bombs.
Erm Jager bombs, running bombs and once we put a whole tube of Mentos in a three litre bottle of Coke and, you know, that, that It really did go absolutely everywhere.
Maya, relax, he's messing with you.
Yes, I am.
These guys developed the first tunnel bombs.
They created untraceable PETN.
Bolsheokhtinsky Bridge, Soldovka Hospital, Victoria Airport, all thanks to these guys.
So don't insult them with your stupid questions, right.
~ I'm sorry.
~ It's fine, really.
She didn't mean to offend you.
It's cool, just let's not let it happen again, yeah? Khalil.
~ I'm the money.
~ Mitch Steele.
~ Maya.
~ Mitch Steele.
~ Jamie.
~ Mitch Steele.
Jamie? Really? Yeah.
Why do you ask? Just You don't look like a Jamie.
OK.
And I'm Reza.
Razor? Is that because you're bald? Is that why you're called Razor? No.
It's just that's my real name.
Razor can be a first name.
Razor Ruddock.
OK, let's tool-up.
Tools.
Three of our guys saw it happen.
Cross is dead.
And the eye? Yeah, that's the bad news.
They took it.
The two, Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dumber? ~ Yeah.
~ You're kidding.
No, I'm not.
Well, get it back.
Tell our guys to pound it out of them.
No, they're not They, er, escaped.
They were busted out during the riot.
Not by us.
Who busted them out? I don't know.
Well, you do know where they are going, so go find them.
Now? Vete.
'So glad no-one's asked about the eye.
' Because after a long flight it takes a while to get things moving.
They're not going to ask about the eye! They don't even know who Carlos is.
They think we're Mitch and Jeremy! Well, then what the hell are Mitch and Jeremy doing here? The equations on the wall.
The guys in the cell before us, that's who Mitch and Jeremy are.
That's why they're here.
We're here.
Wherever "here" is.
This was not easy to find.
I hope it is satisfactory.
Yeah.
Yeah, this is good.
Good.
We got your message.
We are aware that this will only keep the compound at a stable temperature for 24 hours or so.
So we've set up a lab here for you to make the bomb immediately, before we go to meet the buyer.
OK.
And our buyer is? I find it is better not to ask too many questions.
Remember, we are just the middleman here.
Khalil negotiates the price and we simply Go shopping.
Exactly.
We have nothing whatsoever to do with blowing up a school or whatever.
Yeah, that's my conscience in the clear.
Thank you.
Beretta, semi-automatic.
Nothing too fancy, you OK with that? Yes! Oh, that is so cool.
And obviously really normal for us, given what we do.
And what about a grenade? Am I allowed a grenade? You won't need grenades.
OK.
Well, what about, like you see over there, like a I'd love like a belt of bullets.
Those bullets are too big for that gun.
Right, I would still like one, though.
Get your haz-mat suits on.
We are leaving for Kocevje in 15.
OK.
Sorry, is that the Kocevje in .
.
Germany? Slovenia.
Slovenia, right.
Just testing.
Oh, this is a nightmare.
Yeah.
Which one's Slovenia? Well, it's Slovenia.
It's near Italy, I think.
Well, that's great.
I mean, they've brought us to Europe at least.
Yeah, to make a bomb.
I don't want to make a dirty great dirty bomb for a bunch of terrorists, Phil.
For one thing, I can't.
Hm.
I think I actually could, but, yeah, point taken, it's not ideal.
We need to get out of here.
Well, that's what I'm saying.
We get to Slovenia and then, you know, sneak off.
"Sneak off"? This isn't a school field trip! I suspect we won't get an hour to ourselves in the gift shop.
It's now or never.
OK, I'll fly, you navigate.
What? You can't fly this thing! I'll have you know I have over a thousand hours of flight simulator experience.
~ What on? ~ The F19 Stealth Fighter.
On the Amiga? Correct.
Right.
Well, even if that was technically realistic, it's over 20 years out of date.
OK, you fly, I'll navigate.
I'm not arguing about which one of us should fly, I'm saying no-one should fly! We need to run.
We need to run now.
Where are you going? Where are you going? OK, calm down.
We get you out of prison and this is how you repay us? No, you don't understand, we were I'm not Mitch Steele! We're not chemical experts.
We're just a couple of guys in a band on our way to England to play some shows.
What? No, we're not! No, we work for a trucking company in Texas.
No, we work for the council, or we used to.
I, I don't work for the council, I just work in the building.
I'm sub-contracted.
Lie to me again and I'll shoot you! We're not lying! All of those things are true! Who are you? I'm Sam Pinkett.
This is Philip Bourne.
We're just a couple of ordinary guys from Bracknell.
It's in Berkshire ~ We were not meant to be here.
~ .
.
near Reading.
We were stitched-up by a drug sort of lord We're just trying to get home.
We were flown here My mum's really ill.
OK, that's enough, shut up! Please don't hurt us.
Right, OK.
Listen to me.
I'm with the DCRI.
Is that the lifeboats one? French Intelligence.
You're undercover? ~ Wicked! ~ Oh, thank God! I have been part of this group for the last five years.
Everything has been leading up to this mission.
Now once they're in possession of the VX-O5, I can take them down.
But we can't make bombs though.
You won't need to.
As soon as you give them the chemical agent, DCRI will take the building and arrest them.
~ Look, you want to get home, right? ~ Yes.
I'll get you home.
I'll see to it personally, but first you have to be Mitch and Jeremy for another 12 hours.
And that's it, you're done.
You can go home.
You got any change? What? Oh, I think I left all my euros in our prison cell back in Texas.
I need to eat something.
My tummy is playing havoc.
We all have to take one of these.
We need to be on exactly the same time.
Right, Jamie, once we're in, you'll need to take out the guard outside the VX lab, before he sets off the alarm.
You'll only have one chance.
That's one more than I need.
What, so you don't need any chances, how does that work? Would you like to find out? No, I'm just saying, if he'd have said you had two chances, then you could say that's one more than I need.
It's not a big deal, it just doesn't make sense.
Shall we move on? Once I have hacked through the firewall, I should have control of the lifts by the time you have retrieved the VX-O5.
Gentlemen, what exactly can we expect once we're inside the lab? Ahem.
Test tubes, Bunsen burners, tripods, pipettes, etc.
It's a very hazardous environment, so it's really important that we all wear safety goggles.
You think this is funny? Do you think this is a joke? Because I'd love to see how you guys handle dangerous chemical materials with all your experience! Yeah, that's right, cos we're the experts.
We're the ones putting our goddamn lives on the line.
Not you or you, me.
And my man Sam.
I mean Terry.
I mean Jeremy.
He's right.
The VX-O5 can kill anything within a mile radius of it.
I don't want amateurs handling it, do you? No.
So how about a bit of respect, yeah? Let him finish.
That was it really.
Just ~ .
.
be safe.
~ Cool.
Great briefing.
All right, Mitch Steele out.
I haven't finished, actually.
Sure, go ahead.
The helicopter will land and drop us onto the roof at exactly 3am.
What? That's when all the security footage from the previous week is backed-up and the cards are reset.
We then have exactly four minutes before the cameras go live.
Four minutes to get onto the roof and then abseil down to the sixth floor.
Ah, now that sounds a bit A second more and it's all blown.
And you can say goodbye to your share of the 45 million.
Just Sorry, to go back to the abseiling thing, I'm not perfect with heights.
You two pussies are getting in a different way.
Maya has already hacked into office services and created an order for two vending machines to be delivered to the sixth floor.
But because the VX lab has the highest level security clearance, the machines will be unloaded by separate staff upstairs and positioned in the secure zone.
You will have to wait inside those machines for approximately seven hours.
The lab closes at 11, but we arrive four hours later, when there is only one guard.
Phil? Yeah? What time have you got? 3.
03.
Yeah, me too.
Do you think they made it? Don't know.
I mean, why does this shit always happen to us? What shit? What do you mean, what shit? This.
Being made to retrieve chemicals for terrorists! Right.
Yeah, I mean that has only happened once, to be fair.
And anyway, maybe it's not shit happening to us.
Maybe it's us happening to shit.
What does that mean? It means we're going to find a way out of this, Sam.
We're not just going to roll over and do as we're told.
We're not machines.
Oh, my! They're here.
What are you taking? Money.
You? Snacks.
Hmm, useful.
Oh, has yours got drinks? Sweet! What happened? Glass.
Don't worry, I'll patch him up.
Quickly! Well, what are you waiting for? Get in there.
~ Careful.
~ OK, yes, obviously.
Remember, don't touch the glass.
It's highly unstable.
Only touch the metal part.
I know, he literally just said that.
I know, just It's worth repeating, isn't it? How long, Maya? One minute.
Slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly.
OK, you got it? OK.
I'm in.
The lifts are secure! Argh! Oh, you caught it.
~ I did! ~ You bloody caught it! Yeah, I did.
I mean, that was the best and worst moment of my entire life! Well done.
I'm so sorry.
I didn't realise.
It's all good.
Don't you worry, we're all over this.
Anyone fancy a mint? A chewy? Reza? Reza! I thought you said you were going to arrest them.
Change of plan.
Right, so where are the French Secret Service guys? Are they poised? Oh, well, I hope not, because that was just a story.
Well, what are you going to do with it? I'm going to sell it.
We've already got a buyer.
The difference is now I won't have to split it four ways.
Best Christmas ever.
That is not what Christmas is about! But we can't make this into a bomb.
You know what? That is annoying.
It's knocked the price down a bit, but still.
Now, just er, put it in there now.
~ Drop the gun! ~ Yes, Phil! Ha, you forgot I had this, didn't you? It isn't loaded.
Oh, really? Who gave it to you? You did.
Stop or I'll drop it.
You wouldn't.
Well, we did nearly drop it once already, so If you shoot me, I'll definitely drop it.
All right, I'll shoot him, then.
Now just put it in the case.
Now! Stay back.
There's no other way out of this.
OK, OK, OK, OK.
We'll give it to you.
~ What? No, we won't.
~ Listen to him.
He's right, Sam.
It's the only way.
Argh! Whoa! 'Doors closing.
' 'Ground floor.
' Hey! What are you doing? How do you think this ends? Sam! I think we've got enough to get to France, but then how do we pay for the ferry? We can't afford to do both.
Tickets, please.
Tickets.
~ They'll check in here.
~ No, they won't.
I used to do this all the time on the Bracknell to Wokingham train.
They'll know we're not using it, though.
Not if we make the right noises.
And anyway, I think I might actually need to go.
Can you turn around? What do you mean, turn around? I've been needing to go since before the, you know, heist.
Hang on, you don't mean I'm sat down, Sam, my body's making the decision for me.
Stand up, then! I can't.
I've basically gone into safe mode.
Tickets? Oh! Oh! Oh, God! 'Thanks for calling the Texas Department of Corrections.
'One of our operators will be with you shortly.
'Please note, this holiday season 'our visiting hours are Monday to Friday, 8' Thank you, ma'am.
Hi.
When is your next flight to London? ~ Where have you been? ~ Trying to clean this.
What are we going to do with this? They said it's only good for 24 hours, didn't they? We'll just stick it in the bin.
It's not a best before date.
They meant after 24 hours this becomes really dangerous.
We need to get it to an expert.
There's something written on this.
~ There.
~ What? Look.
Turn it back round.
That's it, look, there, there, there, there, look.
Oh, yeah.
It's like it's some sort of code.
I know what that is.
I think it's map co-ordinates.
It must be where Nathan hid the money.
God, we could do with some of that now.
Right, you hold this, I'll write it down.
It's clean.
It's fairly clean.
How about I write it down? Yeah? Borrow me a euro? We need it all for the ferry.
Just one euro, please.
What for? Hello, ICU? No, sorry, she's about to go into theatre.
Yes.
Yes, Linda Bourne.
Well, when will she be out of surgery? What do you mean, you don't know? No, because I need to know No, no, but I am.
I'm her Please.
I just Please.
Come on.
I think we've got enough to get home.
Two tickets to Dover, please.
OK.
You don't have any notes? No, sorry.
It is all there, though.
80 euros? The next ferry is leaving in 35 minutes.
~ Great, thank you.
~ Hey, Sam, look.
There's a bra museum.
It is the lace and fashion museum.
~ Yeah, of course it is.
~ You have your passports? Oh, no.
I thought, in Europe, can't you just move around? For the UK you need to have a passport.
No, but the UK is a soft touch, famously.
Anyone can get in there.
I am sorry.
They will not let you on the ferry without a passport.
I think it's doable.
Yes, for other people.
It's only a width.
It's not even a length.
I'm telling you, there is no way we could swim the English Channel in December.
Man's greatest obstacle is his mind, Sam.
What the brain believes, the body achieves.
I'll see you in Bracknell.
Argh! Argh, argh! Argh! Argh! Argh! Argh! Argh, argh! It's actually a bit nippy.
Is it? Oh.
Oh, now.
Pardon messieurs! Nous sommes fermes.
We are closed.
Does this thing work? Bien sur, but it is off-season.
Oh, come on, it's a lovely day for flying.
I am sorry, no today.
Yes, today.
Yesterday? Je ne comprends pas! No, I mean, "Yes, today".
Let me spell this out for you in plain French, Angleterre, baby, maintenant! You want me to fly to England? No shit, Poirot! We cannot just fly to England and land this plane.
Who said anything about landing? Argh! Now, I'm going to put this away now, OK? But don't do anything stupid.
All right? OK.
This is it, Sam.
Phil, I've changed my mind! I don't want to jump! What are you talking about? This was your idea and it was a bloody good one! Now, come on! Just no, it's really high.
Of course it's really high! I don't want to jump out of a plane! But Sam, Sam, listen to me, OK? Look, down there, that's England.
Right? It's home.
Now these guys, they might be French, but they know what they're doing.
So you've got to jump.
Please.
And for me, for my mum, for Lizzie.
Yeah? Let's roll! OK, ready? Let's go! This is actually really wonderful.
Whoo! Woo-hoo-hoo! Ha-ha! Oh, my God, we did it, Sam, we did it! No, don't move, nobody move.
Just unclip me slowly.
OK.
OK.
Whoa! Oh, no, no, no, no.
This isn't loaded.
You can have that.
We're the good guys.
All right.
See you later.
Hey, how do we get home from here? If you really want to get home, you'll find a way.
Shall we stop and take this off and then we can? ~ Yeah.
~ Yeah? How does this? 'Keep your thumb up.
' 'Try to look friendly.
' Oi! No-one's going to stop if we look weird.
No-one picks up hitchhikers any more.
Of course they do.
They have to.
If Mum's gone in for surgery, it's either endocarditis or atherosclerosis.
How do you know so much about it? Rosa thought I was a heart surgeon, didn't she? She started asking questions.
I had to do some research.
Either way, it's serious and I want to be there when she wakes up, if she wakes up.
We're not taking a chemical weapon to visit your mum in hospital.
But that's what all this was about - getting there, going home.
But what's the point in getting home if we can't have our lives back? I've got an idea.
I think we can use this.
Hold on, Sam, I think he's stopping.
Yes, thank you! Thank you so much! Dickheads! This is useless.
You were right, no-one stops for hitchhikers.
We're never going to get there in time.
We might as well still be in Texas! What are you saying? This isn't like you.
I'm just being realistic.
Well, stop it, it doesn't suit you.
You're meant to I know I treat you like an idiot, and to be fair, you do say some ridiculous stuff Like what? You can't out-run a gazelle.
Not in a sprint, but in a marathon, in wintry conditions, yes, I could.
And you haven't taught yourself Cantonese.
Once you've mastered Japanese culture, Cantonese is a walk in the park, Sam, a walk in the "ping pang tow".
And there's no way you could have flown that cargo plane.
I could have got it in the air.
~ I doubt it.
~ I think I could.
Maybe.
The point is, I'd never have left Texas without you .
.
and we'd both be dead if it wasn't for your forklift driving licence.
You were right about our fate.
It's up to us what it is.
What are you Sam? Sam! Thanks for stopping.
Didn't have much choice.
Sorry about that, we were getting desperate.
So where are you boys headed? Bracknell.
If it's on your way.
No problem at all.
I'm Bob, by the way.
Hi, Bob.
My name's .
.
Sam.
And this is Phil.
Whoa! No, no, no, don't touch that! You mustn't touch that.
What? It's just my tea.
Right.
Sorry, it's just I thought it was our Thermos and it's not, it's very clearly yours.
I hope it's mine.
It's got my name on it.
'This is BBC Radio 5 Live.
'Slovenian authorities are investigating a break-in ' at a secure chemical facility in Kocevje.
'The facility is allegedly 'behind the development of a new nerve agent, 'which sources claim, if released into the atmosphere, 'could kill thousands of people per milligram.
' Bob, have you got a phone I can borrow? 'A company spokesman would not confirm 'whether anything was taken in the break-in.
'The security services are playing down fears 'of terrorist involvement.
' How long will we have to wait? Not long now.
I can't believe we're in Bracknell.
Never thought I'd be so happy to see it.
How do you mean? Well, I hated it.
Bracknell? Yeah.
Couldn't stand it.
Bracknell, really? What's wrong with it? Nothing.
It was me.
I was miserable and I blamed everything on this place.
I thought it was a trap.
I used to say I was going to move to London to do something with my life.
It wasn't a trap.
It was just an excuse not to try.
What are you going to do with your life? Don't know.
I like animals.
Maybe something to do with that.
You? I think I'm going to join up.
To the Army? SAS.
It's becoming increasingly clear that I have the necessary requisites to be a phenomenal spy.
I don't think that's the SAS.
I've saved your life too many times for it to be a coincidence.
~ I've saved yours too.
~ When? When I caught the VX.
Or when I got shot.
Exactly.
You got shot.
Civilians get shot.
Assassins, ninjas, don't.
Sorry, which is it, SAS or a ninja you're going to be? I'll let you worry about the labels, Sam.
I'm an enigma.
What you see is what you get.
Hello, boys.
Eight maids a-milking Seven swans a-swimming Six geese-a-laying Five gold rings.
Five gold rings Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle Jesus fucking Christ! ~ Well, I don't think that's how it goes.
~ No, this prick.
'Oscar five five in pursuit of a black Mercedes heading 'southbound on the A329' I have to admit I was surprised to hear from you.
The last I heard you were in prison in Texas for running drugs.
I can't imagine how you made it all the way here.
I'm impressed.
~ Yeah.
~ Thank you.
It's pretty amazing.
But you can't stay.
Why? We can't keep you safe.
We don't know who put the bomb under your car.
Right, but I think if we work together on this, we could solve it.
We're not going to sit discussing your theories.
You can't be here.
That's the bottom line.
We're actually in the middle of a crisis that needs my attention more than you do, so Would that have anything to do with the theft of VX-O5 nerve agent from a secret chemical facility in Kocevje? 'Forgive me, it's a complicated story.
' Khalil's gang bust you out of prison because they thought you were? These expert bomb-makers.
And you got away using sweets in a cola bottle? Yeah, a Mentos bomb.
I'm surprised you've never heard of it.
OK.
Let's see it.
Here it is.
What's that? The VX-O5.
It's got "Bob" written on it.
Why did you steal his Thermos? I thought you'd forgotten it, so I just picked it up.
Tea anyone? We're running out of time, give me the VX-O5 so we can make it safe.
We want our lives back.
We can't just bring you back to life.
Whoever tried to kill you, before long they'll find out and they'll try again and we can't guarantee we'll stop them.
Why not? Because we can't.
Why not? This is what you told us before.
I don't think you even wanted to try.
You lied to us.
Admit it.
We've lost the suspect on the High Street.
You sold us out.
You killed us because it was easier than trying to help us.
Phil's mum is in hospital, alone, at Christmas.
My girlfriend is wasting her life trying to find out what you're covering up.
Mummy, Mummy, my teddy! This wasn't the only way.
Oi! What do you think you're doing stealing a child's toy? It's Khalil.
Oi, oi! Get your own teddy, mate! OK, stop, stop! He's obviously tracking you somehow, we need to split up.
Give me the VX.
Not until you promise.
Thousands of people could die here! This is not the time! I say it is the time.
OK.
Look, you're right.
We could have put you under surveillance and maybe we would have got them before they got you, but in the meantime, there are terrorist cells, foreign spies, people stealing chemical weapons! Serious issues of national security.
And when all is said and done, I'm sorry.
I really am.
You were not worth the cost.
Now, he is tracking you.
You've got to keep moving.
I'll call for backup.
Give me the VX.
Sorry, sorry.
Bloody hell! Get me a perimeter.
I want eyes everywhere.
I've sent through an ID on the suspect, 'but if you see Pinkett and Bourne, he won't be far behind.
'Oh, and get the MOD to send a chemical team yesterday.
' Eyes on the suspect.
Hey.
What is that? It's an LED head torch.
I got 15, so that's pretty much everyone covered, I reckon.
Who wants one of those for Christmas? Who wouldn't want one of these? It's useful.
If you're going pot-holing.
Well, what about the travel scales I bought you last year? You were delighted with those.
I was pretending.
I'm trying my best here! You are terrible at buying Christmas presents! Yeah, well, you're terrible at sex! ~ What? ~ Sam? What did you just say? ~ Sam? ~ What did you just say? ~ Sh, sh.
~ What did you just say? ~ Kerry, it's Sam! ~ No, what did you just say? ~ Sh.
~ Guys, you've got to One second, Sam, what did you just say? I can't believe my eyes.
~ What did you just say? ~ He's coming.
Oh, God.
~ What did you just say? ~ Come on.
What did you just say? I'm so sorry.
I know what you're NOT getting for Christmas! Where is he? He's heading north.
Nobody fire.
All agents to the north end.
Stay where you are! And get your hands up.
Stay where you are, please.
Stay calm.
Who do I have to arrest around here to get a cup of tea? Keep your hands in the air.
Come on, let's go.
Where are Pinkett and Bourne? Let's get to the hospital.
Who fired that shot? Who is that? I don't know, just run! Oh, shit! Wait, how are you going to? We're splitting up.
He can only go after one of us.
You go to your mum.
That's what this has all been about.
Yeah, but I'm not going to Just go.
I recognise you.
You killed my brother.
No, he He crashed into us on his bike.
He was trying to kill us.
But we weren't his enemy.
And we're not yours, we're really not, we just We got mixed up in it.
You're telling me you are the wrong mans? Men, but, yeah.
So it was you who put the bomb under our car? Yes.
But this time I'm going to make sure I see you die.
No, you're not.
That bomb could have killed us, you prick! We have the suspect, white male, disarmed and in custody.
Confessed to planting a car bomb too.
Excellent work.
Make sure you keep Pinkett and Bourne there for questioning.
They've, er They've gone, I'm afraid.
'Both of them?' Yes.
(Thank you.
) No, you need to put it on the AVI channel.
Yeah, one second.
Can you open the door, Len? Thanks.
'Len?' 'I did think about it.
' ~ It's just I never know what to ~ All I'm saying is, what's the point of putting it on the invites ~ if no-one's going to bother? ~ Alan, come on, smile.
What? Where's Lizzie? I'm not a ghost, Noel! No, sure, it's You were dead.
I was just struggling a bit Where is Lizzie? I showed you what happens to people who mess with Mr Espinosa.
So let me tell you what's going to happen now.
You're going to give me that fucking eye, because I am taking an eye back to Texas no matter what and if it isn't that one, I will find one some place else! So don't do anything stupid.
Just tell me, where is the eye? It's in my pocket.
What? It's in my pocket, it's Oh, OK, good.
Cool.
See you later.
Yeah.
~ Can I just? ~ Sure, yeah.
It's OK.
Thanks, thank you.
Thanks.
Bless you.
Oh, God! I knew you'd come back.
I knew you weren't dead.
It was you keeping me alive.
'This better be real!' I'll have another heart attack if this isn't real.
It's real, Mum.
I'm back.
I'm never going to leave you again.
Oh, my boo-bear.
Oh! MUSIC PLAYS: Last Christmas by Wham Last Christmas I gave you my heart But the very next day you gave it away This year To save me from tears I'll give it to someone special It's a Christmas miracle! Last Christmas I gave you my heart But the very next day you gave it away This year To save me from tears I'll give it to someone special Federal agents! Hands on your head! On your head! Hands on your head! Turn around.
On your knees.
Cuff him.
This is Angel one.
Suspect in custody, returning to base.
Well, that couldn't have gone better.
You got your reward.
1.
5 million.
Did you hear that? They got him.
That's great! This money will change everything for my family.
Feliz navidad! Feliz navidad! 'Rosa, I've got something that I need confess.
' I'm not Ian was a lie.
I know.
I'm not a heart surgeon.
I'm not the European beat-boxing champion.
I've never been skiing.
'I don't know Liam Neeson.
' I just wanted to impress you.
That's why I told you those things, because the truth is I'm no-one.
A no-one who just brought down Carlos Espinosa.
I say that's impressive.
I hadn't thought about it like that.
And anyway, it was not all those things I fell in love with.
It was you, Ian.
Ah, it's Well, it's Phil.
My name's actually Phil.
Philip, really.
Is there anything else you want to tell me? Is that everything now? No, that's it.
It's just Can I call you again? You had better.
OK, I will.
I have to go now.
Adios, Phil.
Auf Wiedersehen.
That's done it.
Yeah.
Feels good to be alive.
Yeah, it does.
I wonder what time midnight mass is.
What time do you think it is? I don't know.
It's usually quite late.
Yeah.
I'll Google it.
OK.
The moment I'd got back with Lizzie, I was ripped away from her.
Rosa's not just my girlfriend, she's my soul mate, my companion.
You knew that if you stayed in Bracknell, you risked not 'only your own lives, but the lives of your families and loved ones.
' My mum's ill and Janice, our neighbour, says she doesn't think she's going to make it till Christmas.
Let's go home, Phil.
Can you help us get documents to get back to Britain? ~ I don't do that stuff.
~ Well, can you tell us who does? Carlos Espinosa.
I'm arresting you for intent to traffic cocaine under section 841 of the Controlled Substance Act.
Two white boys, just like y'all, got transferred out last night for their own safety.
I thought most people put up pictures of boobs.
Who gets off on mathematical equations? There's a reward for any information that leads to Espinosa's whereabouts.
Mr Espinosa thought maybe you could do him a little favour.
I killed his only son and ten of his other men, took down his biggest ever trade, buried it somewhere so secret, so remote, that only I will ever know.
Yah! He said he's got the money locked away and his eye is the key.
The moment we have it, you're on your way.
We were told to give you guys these.
Oh, OK, and what about the eye? Where's Carlos? Who the hell is Carlos? Did you bring them? (The you-know-what's?) Are you definitely all right to have them? (Yeah, yeah, it's fine, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
) (Then why are we whispering?) (They're just a bit funny about what I eat in here.
) Quick, quick, quick, clever girl, clever girl.
Clever girl.
(Oh, that was close.
) So how are you feeling? Shouldn't I be asking you that? Hm, but you look tired.
I'm fine.
I'm just working late a lot on this.
I don't see how they can keep ignoring us.
None of the evidence has been released.
We never saw the bodies.
A full inquiry is the only way It won't bring him back, you know.
I know.
I just .
.
want the truth.
I want my boy back.
Same way I want my husband back.
And I don't think an inquiry is going to do that.
They've gone, Lizzie.
It's time to let go.
(But these help a little bit.
) OK.
Linda! How many times? You're not allowed Wagon Wheels! Let me introduce you to the last and most important members of our team, Jeremy Gardner and Mitch Steele.
Who's who? I'm Mitch Steele, Mitch Steele, Jeremy.
Jeremy Gardner.
Jez.
Have you any idea how hard it was to find you guys? You've been transferred to three different prisons in the last eight months.
~ I'm sorry.
~ I know, it's a nightmare.
Just when we get settled somewhere, we've got to pack up all our stuff and Not that we've got any stuff as such cos we're prisoners so ~ it's fine.
~ Are you joking with me? These are the guys we waited three weeks to break out? Mitch and Jeremy are the best.
None of us can do what they do.
~ Thanks.
~ What these two don't know about deadly chemical compounds is not worth knowing.
And you've handled VX before? Hm.
~ Big time.
~ What bombs have you made? Well, you name it.
No, you name it.
We spent a lot of money to get you here.
I want to know that you are the people we need.
Oh, erm Car bombs.
Time bombs.
Time bombs that we've put in cars.
Car time bombs.
Erm Jager bombs, running bombs and once we put a whole tube of Mentos in a three litre bottle of Coke and, you know, that, that It really did go absolutely everywhere.
Maya, relax, he's messing with you.
Yes, I am.
These guys developed the first tunnel bombs.
They created untraceable PETN.
Bolsheokhtinsky Bridge, Soldovka Hospital, Victoria Airport, all thanks to these guys.
So don't insult them with your stupid questions, right.
~ I'm sorry.
~ It's fine, really.
She didn't mean to offend you.
It's cool, just let's not let it happen again, yeah? Khalil.
~ I'm the money.
~ Mitch Steele.
~ Maya.
~ Mitch Steele.
~ Jamie.
~ Mitch Steele.
Jamie? Really? Yeah.
Why do you ask? Just You don't look like a Jamie.
OK.
And I'm Reza.
Razor? Is that because you're bald? Is that why you're called Razor? No.
It's just that's my real name.
Razor can be a first name.
Razor Ruddock.
OK, let's tool-up.
Tools.
Three of our guys saw it happen.
Cross is dead.
And the eye? Yeah, that's the bad news.
They took it.
The two, Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dumber? ~ Yeah.
~ You're kidding.
No, I'm not.
Well, get it back.
Tell our guys to pound it out of them.
No, they're not They, er, escaped.
They were busted out during the riot.
Not by us.
Who busted them out? I don't know.
Well, you do know where they are going, so go find them.
Now? Vete.
'So glad no-one's asked about the eye.
' Because after a long flight it takes a while to get things moving.
They're not going to ask about the eye! They don't even know who Carlos is.
They think we're Mitch and Jeremy! Well, then what the hell are Mitch and Jeremy doing here? The equations on the wall.
The guys in the cell before us, that's who Mitch and Jeremy are.
That's why they're here.
We're here.
Wherever "here" is.
This was not easy to find.
I hope it is satisfactory.
Yeah.
Yeah, this is good.
Good.
We got your message.
We are aware that this will only keep the compound at a stable temperature for 24 hours or so.
So we've set up a lab here for you to make the bomb immediately, before we go to meet the buyer.
OK.
And our buyer is? I find it is better not to ask too many questions.
Remember, we are just the middleman here.
Khalil negotiates the price and we simply Go shopping.
Exactly.
We have nothing whatsoever to do with blowing up a school or whatever.
Yeah, that's my conscience in the clear.
Thank you.
Beretta, semi-automatic.
Nothing too fancy, you OK with that? Yes! Oh, that is so cool.
And obviously really normal for us, given what we do.
And what about a grenade? Am I allowed a grenade? You won't need grenades.
OK.
Well, what about, like you see over there, like a I'd love like a belt of bullets.
Those bullets are too big for that gun.
Right, I would still like one, though.
Get your haz-mat suits on.
We are leaving for Kocevje in 15.
OK.
Sorry, is that the Kocevje in .
.
Germany? Slovenia.
Slovenia, right.
Just testing.
Oh, this is a nightmare.
Yeah.
Which one's Slovenia? Well, it's Slovenia.
It's near Italy, I think.
Well, that's great.
I mean, they've brought us to Europe at least.
Yeah, to make a bomb.
I don't want to make a dirty great dirty bomb for a bunch of terrorists, Phil.
For one thing, I can't.
Hm.
I think I actually could, but, yeah, point taken, it's not ideal.
We need to get out of here.
Well, that's what I'm saying.
We get to Slovenia and then, you know, sneak off.
"Sneak off"? This isn't a school field trip! I suspect we won't get an hour to ourselves in the gift shop.
It's now or never.
OK, I'll fly, you navigate.
What? You can't fly this thing! I'll have you know I have over a thousand hours of flight simulator experience.
~ What on? ~ The F19 Stealth Fighter.
On the Amiga? Correct.
Right.
Well, even if that was technically realistic, it's over 20 years out of date.
OK, you fly, I'll navigate.
I'm not arguing about which one of us should fly, I'm saying no-one should fly! We need to run.
We need to run now.
Where are you going? Where are you going? OK, calm down.
We get you out of prison and this is how you repay us? No, you don't understand, we were I'm not Mitch Steele! We're not chemical experts.
We're just a couple of guys in a band on our way to England to play some shows.
What? No, we're not! No, we work for a trucking company in Texas.
No, we work for the council, or we used to.
I, I don't work for the council, I just work in the building.
I'm sub-contracted.
Lie to me again and I'll shoot you! We're not lying! All of those things are true! Who are you? I'm Sam Pinkett.
This is Philip Bourne.
We're just a couple of ordinary guys from Bracknell.
It's in Berkshire ~ We were not meant to be here.
~ .
.
near Reading.
We were stitched-up by a drug sort of lord We're just trying to get home.
We were flown here My mum's really ill.
OK, that's enough, shut up! Please don't hurt us.
Right, OK.
Listen to me.
I'm with the DCRI.
Is that the lifeboats one? French Intelligence.
You're undercover? ~ Wicked! ~ Oh, thank God! I have been part of this group for the last five years.
Everything has been leading up to this mission.
Now once they're in possession of the VX-O5, I can take them down.
But we can't make bombs though.
You won't need to.
As soon as you give them the chemical agent, DCRI will take the building and arrest them.
~ Look, you want to get home, right? ~ Yes.
I'll get you home.
I'll see to it personally, but first you have to be Mitch and Jeremy for another 12 hours.
And that's it, you're done.
You can go home.
You got any change? What? Oh, I think I left all my euros in our prison cell back in Texas.
I need to eat something.
My tummy is playing havoc.
We all have to take one of these.
We need to be on exactly the same time.
Right, Jamie, once we're in, you'll need to take out the guard outside the VX lab, before he sets off the alarm.
You'll only have one chance.
That's one more than I need.
What, so you don't need any chances, how does that work? Would you like to find out? No, I'm just saying, if he'd have said you had two chances, then you could say that's one more than I need.
It's not a big deal, it just doesn't make sense.
Shall we move on? Once I have hacked through the firewall, I should have control of the lifts by the time you have retrieved the VX-O5.
Gentlemen, what exactly can we expect once we're inside the lab? Ahem.
Test tubes, Bunsen burners, tripods, pipettes, etc.
It's a very hazardous environment, so it's really important that we all wear safety goggles.
You think this is funny? Do you think this is a joke? Because I'd love to see how you guys handle dangerous chemical materials with all your experience! Yeah, that's right, cos we're the experts.
We're the ones putting our goddamn lives on the line.
Not you or you, me.
And my man Sam.
I mean Terry.
I mean Jeremy.
He's right.
The VX-O5 can kill anything within a mile radius of it.
I don't want amateurs handling it, do you? No.
So how about a bit of respect, yeah? Let him finish.
That was it really.
Just ~ .
.
be safe.
~ Cool.
Great briefing.
All right, Mitch Steele out.
I haven't finished, actually.
Sure, go ahead.
The helicopter will land and drop us onto the roof at exactly 3am.
What? That's when all the security footage from the previous week is backed-up and the cards are reset.
We then have exactly four minutes before the cameras go live.
Four minutes to get onto the roof and then abseil down to the sixth floor.
Ah, now that sounds a bit A second more and it's all blown.
And you can say goodbye to your share of the 45 million.
Just Sorry, to go back to the abseiling thing, I'm not perfect with heights.
You two pussies are getting in a different way.
Maya has already hacked into office services and created an order for two vending machines to be delivered to the sixth floor.
But because the VX lab has the highest level security clearance, the machines will be unloaded by separate staff upstairs and positioned in the secure zone.
You will have to wait inside those machines for approximately seven hours.
The lab closes at 11, but we arrive four hours later, when there is only one guard.
Phil? Yeah? What time have you got? 3.
03.
Yeah, me too.
Do you think they made it? Don't know.
I mean, why does this shit always happen to us? What shit? What do you mean, what shit? This.
Being made to retrieve chemicals for terrorists! Right.
Yeah, I mean that has only happened once, to be fair.
And anyway, maybe it's not shit happening to us.
Maybe it's us happening to shit.
What does that mean? It means we're going to find a way out of this, Sam.
We're not just going to roll over and do as we're told.
We're not machines.
Oh, my! They're here.
What are you taking? Money.
You? Snacks.
Hmm, useful.
Oh, has yours got drinks? Sweet! What happened? Glass.
Don't worry, I'll patch him up.
Quickly! Well, what are you waiting for? Get in there.
~ Careful.
~ OK, yes, obviously.
Remember, don't touch the glass.
It's highly unstable.
Only touch the metal part.
I know, he literally just said that.
I know, just It's worth repeating, isn't it? How long, Maya? One minute.
Slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly.
OK, you got it? OK.
I'm in.
The lifts are secure! Argh! Oh, you caught it.
~ I did! ~ You bloody caught it! Yeah, I did.
I mean, that was the best and worst moment of my entire life! Well done.
I'm so sorry.
I didn't realise.
It's all good.
Don't you worry, we're all over this.
Anyone fancy a mint? A chewy? Reza? Reza! I thought you said you were going to arrest them.
Change of plan.
Right, so where are the French Secret Service guys? Are they poised? Oh, well, I hope not, because that was just a story.
Well, what are you going to do with it? I'm going to sell it.
We've already got a buyer.
The difference is now I won't have to split it four ways.
Best Christmas ever.
That is not what Christmas is about! But we can't make this into a bomb.
You know what? That is annoying.
It's knocked the price down a bit, but still.
Now, just er, put it in there now.
~ Drop the gun! ~ Yes, Phil! Ha, you forgot I had this, didn't you? It isn't loaded.
Oh, really? Who gave it to you? You did.
Stop or I'll drop it.
You wouldn't.
Well, we did nearly drop it once already, so If you shoot me, I'll definitely drop it.
All right, I'll shoot him, then.
Now just put it in the case.
Now! Stay back.
There's no other way out of this.
OK, OK, OK, OK.
We'll give it to you.
~ What? No, we won't.
~ Listen to him.
He's right, Sam.
It's the only way.
Argh! Whoa! 'Doors closing.
' 'Ground floor.
' Hey! What are you doing? How do you think this ends? Sam! I think we've got enough to get to France, but then how do we pay for the ferry? We can't afford to do both.
Tickets, please.
Tickets.
~ They'll check in here.
~ No, they won't.
I used to do this all the time on the Bracknell to Wokingham train.
They'll know we're not using it, though.
Not if we make the right noises.
And anyway, I think I might actually need to go.
Can you turn around? What do you mean, turn around? I've been needing to go since before the, you know, heist.
Hang on, you don't mean I'm sat down, Sam, my body's making the decision for me.
Stand up, then! I can't.
I've basically gone into safe mode.
Tickets? Oh! Oh! Oh, God! 'Thanks for calling the Texas Department of Corrections.
'One of our operators will be with you shortly.
'Please note, this holiday season 'our visiting hours are Monday to Friday, 8' Thank you, ma'am.
Hi.
When is your next flight to London? ~ Where have you been? ~ Trying to clean this.
What are we going to do with this? They said it's only good for 24 hours, didn't they? We'll just stick it in the bin.
It's not a best before date.
They meant after 24 hours this becomes really dangerous.
We need to get it to an expert.
There's something written on this.
~ There.
~ What? Look.
Turn it back round.
That's it, look, there, there, there, there, look.
Oh, yeah.
It's like it's some sort of code.
I know what that is.
I think it's map co-ordinates.
It must be where Nathan hid the money.
God, we could do with some of that now.
Right, you hold this, I'll write it down.
It's clean.
It's fairly clean.
How about I write it down? Yeah? Borrow me a euro? We need it all for the ferry.
Just one euro, please.
What for? Hello, ICU? No, sorry, she's about to go into theatre.
Yes.
Yes, Linda Bourne.
Well, when will she be out of surgery? What do you mean, you don't know? No, because I need to know No, no, but I am.
I'm her Please.
I just Please.
Come on.
I think we've got enough to get home.
Two tickets to Dover, please.
OK.
You don't have any notes? No, sorry.
It is all there, though.
80 euros? The next ferry is leaving in 35 minutes.
~ Great, thank you.
~ Hey, Sam, look.
There's a bra museum.
It is the lace and fashion museum.
~ Yeah, of course it is.
~ You have your passports? Oh, no.
I thought, in Europe, can't you just move around? For the UK you need to have a passport.
No, but the UK is a soft touch, famously.
Anyone can get in there.
I am sorry.
They will not let you on the ferry without a passport.
I think it's doable.
Yes, for other people.
It's only a width.
It's not even a length.
I'm telling you, there is no way we could swim the English Channel in December.
Man's greatest obstacle is his mind, Sam.
What the brain believes, the body achieves.
I'll see you in Bracknell.
Argh! Argh, argh! Argh! Argh! Argh! Argh! Argh, argh! It's actually a bit nippy.
Is it? Oh.
Oh, now.
Pardon messieurs! Nous sommes fermes.
We are closed.
Does this thing work? Bien sur, but it is off-season.
Oh, come on, it's a lovely day for flying.
I am sorry, no today.
Yes, today.
Yesterday? Je ne comprends pas! No, I mean, "Yes, today".
Let me spell this out for you in plain French, Angleterre, baby, maintenant! You want me to fly to England? No shit, Poirot! We cannot just fly to England and land this plane.
Who said anything about landing? Argh! Now, I'm going to put this away now, OK? But don't do anything stupid.
All right? OK.
This is it, Sam.
Phil, I've changed my mind! I don't want to jump! What are you talking about? This was your idea and it was a bloody good one! Now, come on! Just no, it's really high.
Of course it's really high! I don't want to jump out of a plane! But Sam, Sam, listen to me, OK? Look, down there, that's England.
Right? It's home.
Now these guys, they might be French, but they know what they're doing.
So you've got to jump.
Please.
And for me, for my mum, for Lizzie.
Yeah? Let's roll! OK, ready? Let's go! This is actually really wonderful.
Whoo! Woo-hoo-hoo! Ha-ha! Oh, my God, we did it, Sam, we did it! No, don't move, nobody move.
Just unclip me slowly.
OK.
OK.
Whoa! Oh, no, no, no, no.
This isn't loaded.
You can have that.
We're the good guys.
All right.
See you later.
Hey, how do we get home from here? If you really want to get home, you'll find a way.
Shall we stop and take this off and then we can? ~ Yeah.
~ Yeah? How does this? 'Keep your thumb up.
' 'Try to look friendly.
' Oi! No-one's going to stop if we look weird.
No-one picks up hitchhikers any more.
Of course they do.
They have to.
If Mum's gone in for surgery, it's either endocarditis or atherosclerosis.
How do you know so much about it? Rosa thought I was a heart surgeon, didn't she? She started asking questions.
I had to do some research.
Either way, it's serious and I want to be there when she wakes up, if she wakes up.
We're not taking a chemical weapon to visit your mum in hospital.
But that's what all this was about - getting there, going home.
But what's the point in getting home if we can't have our lives back? I've got an idea.
I think we can use this.
Hold on, Sam, I think he's stopping.
Yes, thank you! Thank you so much! Dickheads! This is useless.
You were right, no-one stops for hitchhikers.
We're never going to get there in time.
We might as well still be in Texas! What are you saying? This isn't like you.
I'm just being realistic.
Well, stop it, it doesn't suit you.
You're meant to I know I treat you like an idiot, and to be fair, you do say some ridiculous stuff Like what? You can't out-run a gazelle.
Not in a sprint, but in a marathon, in wintry conditions, yes, I could.
And you haven't taught yourself Cantonese.
Once you've mastered Japanese culture, Cantonese is a walk in the park, Sam, a walk in the "ping pang tow".
And there's no way you could have flown that cargo plane.
I could have got it in the air.
~ I doubt it.
~ I think I could.
Maybe.
The point is, I'd never have left Texas without you .
.
and we'd both be dead if it wasn't for your forklift driving licence.
You were right about our fate.
It's up to us what it is.
What are you Sam? Sam! Thanks for stopping.
Didn't have much choice.
Sorry about that, we were getting desperate.
So where are you boys headed? Bracknell.
If it's on your way.
No problem at all.
I'm Bob, by the way.
Hi, Bob.
My name's .
.
Sam.
And this is Phil.
Whoa! No, no, no, don't touch that! You mustn't touch that.
What? It's just my tea.
Right.
Sorry, it's just I thought it was our Thermos and it's not, it's very clearly yours.
I hope it's mine.
It's got my name on it.
'This is BBC Radio 5 Live.
'Slovenian authorities are investigating a break-in ' at a secure chemical facility in Kocevje.
'The facility is allegedly 'behind the development of a new nerve agent, 'which sources claim, if released into the atmosphere, 'could kill thousands of people per milligram.
' Bob, have you got a phone I can borrow? 'A company spokesman would not confirm 'whether anything was taken in the break-in.
'The security services are playing down fears 'of terrorist involvement.
' How long will we have to wait? Not long now.
I can't believe we're in Bracknell.
Never thought I'd be so happy to see it.
How do you mean? Well, I hated it.
Bracknell? Yeah.
Couldn't stand it.
Bracknell, really? What's wrong with it? Nothing.
It was me.
I was miserable and I blamed everything on this place.
I thought it was a trap.
I used to say I was going to move to London to do something with my life.
It wasn't a trap.
It was just an excuse not to try.
What are you going to do with your life? Don't know.
I like animals.
Maybe something to do with that.
You? I think I'm going to join up.
To the Army? SAS.
It's becoming increasingly clear that I have the necessary requisites to be a phenomenal spy.
I don't think that's the SAS.
I've saved your life too many times for it to be a coincidence.
~ I've saved yours too.
~ When? When I caught the VX.
Or when I got shot.
Exactly.
You got shot.
Civilians get shot.
Assassins, ninjas, don't.
Sorry, which is it, SAS or a ninja you're going to be? I'll let you worry about the labels, Sam.
I'm an enigma.
What you see is what you get.
Hello, boys.
Eight maids a-milking Seven swans a-swimming Six geese-a-laying Five gold rings.
Five gold rings Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle Jesus fucking Christ! ~ Well, I don't think that's how it goes.
~ No, this prick.
'Oscar five five in pursuit of a black Mercedes heading 'southbound on the A329' I have to admit I was surprised to hear from you.
The last I heard you were in prison in Texas for running drugs.
I can't imagine how you made it all the way here.
I'm impressed.
~ Yeah.
~ Thank you.
It's pretty amazing.
But you can't stay.
Why? We can't keep you safe.
We don't know who put the bomb under your car.
Right, but I think if we work together on this, we could solve it.
We're not going to sit discussing your theories.
You can't be here.
That's the bottom line.
We're actually in the middle of a crisis that needs my attention more than you do, so Would that have anything to do with the theft of VX-O5 nerve agent from a secret chemical facility in Kocevje? 'Forgive me, it's a complicated story.
' Khalil's gang bust you out of prison because they thought you were? These expert bomb-makers.
And you got away using sweets in a cola bottle? Yeah, a Mentos bomb.
I'm surprised you've never heard of it.
OK.
Let's see it.
Here it is.
What's that? The VX-O5.
It's got "Bob" written on it.
Why did you steal his Thermos? I thought you'd forgotten it, so I just picked it up.
Tea anyone? We're running out of time, give me the VX-O5 so we can make it safe.
We want our lives back.
We can't just bring you back to life.
Whoever tried to kill you, before long they'll find out and they'll try again and we can't guarantee we'll stop them.
Why not? Because we can't.
Why not? This is what you told us before.
I don't think you even wanted to try.
You lied to us.
Admit it.
We've lost the suspect on the High Street.
You sold us out.
You killed us because it was easier than trying to help us.
Phil's mum is in hospital, alone, at Christmas.
My girlfriend is wasting her life trying to find out what you're covering up.
Mummy, Mummy, my teddy! This wasn't the only way.
Oi! What do you think you're doing stealing a child's toy? It's Khalil.
Oi, oi! Get your own teddy, mate! OK, stop, stop! He's obviously tracking you somehow, we need to split up.
Give me the VX.
Not until you promise.
Thousands of people could die here! This is not the time! I say it is the time.
OK.
Look, you're right.
We could have put you under surveillance and maybe we would have got them before they got you, but in the meantime, there are terrorist cells, foreign spies, people stealing chemical weapons! Serious issues of national security.
And when all is said and done, I'm sorry.
I really am.
You were not worth the cost.
Now, he is tracking you.
You've got to keep moving.
I'll call for backup.
Give me the VX.
Sorry, sorry.
Bloody hell! Get me a perimeter.
I want eyes everywhere.
I've sent through an ID on the suspect, 'but if you see Pinkett and Bourne, he won't be far behind.
'Oh, and get the MOD to send a chemical team yesterday.
' Eyes on the suspect.
Hey.
What is that? It's an LED head torch.
I got 15, so that's pretty much everyone covered, I reckon.
Who wants one of those for Christmas? Who wouldn't want one of these? It's useful.
If you're going pot-holing.
Well, what about the travel scales I bought you last year? You were delighted with those.
I was pretending.
I'm trying my best here! You are terrible at buying Christmas presents! Yeah, well, you're terrible at sex! ~ What? ~ Sam? What did you just say? ~ Sam? ~ What did you just say? ~ Sh, sh.
~ What did you just say? ~ Kerry, it's Sam! ~ No, what did you just say? ~ Sh.
~ Guys, you've got to One second, Sam, what did you just say? I can't believe my eyes.
~ What did you just say? ~ He's coming.
Oh, God.
~ What did you just say? ~ Come on.
What did you just say? I'm so sorry.
I know what you're NOT getting for Christmas! Where is he? He's heading north.
Nobody fire.
All agents to the north end.
Stay where you are! And get your hands up.
Stay where you are, please.
Stay calm.
Who do I have to arrest around here to get a cup of tea? Keep your hands in the air.
Come on, let's go.
Where are Pinkett and Bourne? Let's get to the hospital.
Who fired that shot? Who is that? I don't know, just run! Oh, shit! Wait, how are you going to? We're splitting up.
He can only go after one of us.
You go to your mum.
That's what this has all been about.
Yeah, but I'm not going to Just go.
I recognise you.
You killed my brother.
No, he He crashed into us on his bike.
He was trying to kill us.
But we weren't his enemy.
And we're not yours, we're really not, we just We got mixed up in it.
You're telling me you are the wrong mans? Men, but, yeah.
So it was you who put the bomb under our car? Yes.
But this time I'm going to make sure I see you die.
No, you're not.
That bomb could have killed us, you prick! We have the suspect, white male, disarmed and in custody.
Confessed to planting a car bomb too.
Excellent work.
Make sure you keep Pinkett and Bourne there for questioning.
They've, er They've gone, I'm afraid.
'Both of them?' Yes.
(Thank you.
) No, you need to put it on the AVI channel.
Yeah, one second.
Can you open the door, Len? Thanks.
'Len?' 'I did think about it.
' ~ It's just I never know what to ~ All I'm saying is, what's the point of putting it on the invites ~ if no-one's going to bother? ~ Alan, come on, smile.
What? Where's Lizzie? I'm not a ghost, Noel! No, sure, it's You were dead.
I was just struggling a bit Where is Lizzie? I showed you what happens to people who mess with Mr Espinosa.
So let me tell you what's going to happen now.
You're going to give me that fucking eye, because I am taking an eye back to Texas no matter what and if it isn't that one, I will find one some place else! So don't do anything stupid.
Just tell me, where is the eye? It's in my pocket.
What? It's in my pocket, it's Oh, OK, good.
Cool.
See you later.
Yeah.
~ Can I just? ~ Sure, yeah.
It's OK.
Thanks, thank you.
Thanks.
Bless you.
Oh, God! I knew you'd come back.
I knew you weren't dead.
It was you keeping me alive.
'This better be real!' I'll have another heart attack if this isn't real.
It's real, Mum.
I'm back.
I'm never going to leave you again.
Oh, my boo-bear.
Oh! MUSIC PLAYS: Last Christmas by Wham Last Christmas I gave you my heart But the very next day you gave it away This year To save me from tears I'll give it to someone special It's a Christmas miracle! Last Christmas I gave you my heart But the very next day you gave it away This year To save me from tears I'll give it to someone special Federal agents! Hands on your head! On your head! Hands on your head! Turn around.
On your knees.
Cuff him.
This is Angel one.
Suspect in custody, returning to base.
Well, that couldn't have gone better.
You got your reward.
1.
5 million.
Did you hear that? They got him.
That's great! This money will change everything for my family.
Feliz navidad! Feliz navidad! 'Rosa, I've got something that I need confess.
' I'm not Ian was a lie.
I know.
I'm not a heart surgeon.
I'm not the European beat-boxing champion.
I've never been skiing.
'I don't know Liam Neeson.
' I just wanted to impress you.
That's why I told you those things, because the truth is I'm no-one.
A no-one who just brought down Carlos Espinosa.
I say that's impressive.
I hadn't thought about it like that.
And anyway, it was not all those things I fell in love with.
It was you, Ian.
Ah, it's Well, it's Phil.
My name's actually Phil.
Philip, really.
Is there anything else you want to tell me? Is that everything now? No, that's it.
It's just Can I call you again? You had better.
OK, I will.
I have to go now.
Adios, Phil.
Auf Wiedersehen.
That's done it.
Yeah.
Feels good to be alive.
Yeah, it does.
I wonder what time midnight mass is.
What time do you think it is? I don't know.
It's usually quite late.
Yeah.
I'll Google it.
OK.