Video Game High School Vghs (2012) s02e02 Episode Script
You Can't Stop a Sandwich
Ahh man.
I hope you know you're cleaning that up, Lawrence.
Unless you want another reason to be suspended.
Anywho, we're off for a quick jaunt around the racquetball court.
Don't wait up.
Law, did you hear me? I said we're getting snacks.
Do you want snacks? Well, bye.
Jenny! Hi! So you know how I'm undeclared right now? Well, I was thinking that I'd shadow a fiest That is so awesome! I can't wait to see you there.
Hey gals.
Let's do it! Is something burning? I can't believe she's making us practice through brunch.
Yeah.
Jenny, tell your mom my stomach said, "Hey this is your stomach Jumpin' Jax and now you're hungry so tell Jenny!" Yeah, I'll be sure to pass that along, but in the meantime, what do I do with these donuts? Aw, donuts! Sweet! Sorry.
Here? Drop those donuts, sugarplums! Behold the Mary Matrix diet.
That's right.
Healthy food forever.
Every time you stuff those little faces with junk food, you're missing out on Thorine, Omega-3, and antioxidants.
It's killing your reaction time.
Observe.
Fit bodies.
Fit minds.
Which reminds me, 30 laps around the quad before lunch.
But we're starving! Get a move on! Go! Go! Go! Go! Brian, stay! So how is it living with Law? Actually, I'm glad that you asked.
Um, not too hot.
Well, actually it is too hot because he set fire to my room.
Really? He sounds miserable.
Good work, kid Yeah, I guess.
Wait, that's why you made him my roommate? I knew that living with you would remind him of what a failure he is.
Between you and me he is the worst guy that Jenny ever dated.
Between you and me, well, he set fire to my room.
Are you just being cute or are you talking back to me? Better go run laps now.
Which brings us to the crux of the query.
How fast should car A's speed be going into turn 7? Yo! Pick me! Pick me! I'm awesome! Theodore, the court is yours.
Given his entry line, he should be going 55 MPH You're an idiot! How about 48 MPH Bravo, Clutch! 300 yards! Soda star! You have passed the soda star.
Aww man! There's no pop! The fizzy river runs dry? Something's amiss! Where are Piston and Domino Prime? Piston! And you, Domino Prime! What happened? The duchess! She and her cart goons knew of our plan to raid the teacher's lounge.
They ambushed us and took the soda, but we have the key.
For this I am glad, but, alas, The Duchess of Cart has rendered us sodaless! Our throats shall remain parched for a week! Perhaps even two! Truly this our darkest hour.
I'll get the sodas! I can do it, DK! I was born to.
Fat chance, Dingus.
Those shroomed up cart sharks will eat you alive! Perhaps, child.
This may be Theodore's chance to prove his quality.
Drift like the wind, little one.
You carry the fate of us all.
They're both red and healthy.
Just pick one, kid.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Wait, what? Brian D! Get your ass to my office, double time! Next! So Allison, you're losing! That's nice.
Hey quick cue, do you know of any brasseries that do last minute lunch trousies.
I could really crush a good wine and cheese after you give me those Sorry, Shane, the only thing on the menu is a flank steak.
Oh.
Is that you flanking me or are you just trying to make the whole food joke thing work? Either way I am winning.
About those two G's could you just type them in for me? G for "good.
" And now G for "game.
" Come on, alligator.
Give me the game.
Give me the game.
Actually, his planes can't refuel, so if you regroup to the mountains in the south.
Okay, guys, who's the nerd? Ki Swan, 1,500 points, ex-rhythm gamer.
I have been shadowing classes all day long, and I have to say that RTS is the first one that has really spoken to me, which is why I'm speaking now, and I would be honored to tryout for your team.
I don't know, Ki.
Are you cool? I never thought so, no.
It's not cool to tell the truth, but we'll give it to the floor.
Buy or sell? She doesn't even wear a suit! She looks like a square.
She's nice once you get to know her.
She talks about herself in the third person.
Sell this turkey! Sorry, Ki.
Go suck somewhere else.
Nothing better than that fourth taco, ya feel me? You lost your scholarship.
After The Law's fiasco, the NEA pulled The Golden Gun grant, so Well, here.
I have no money, so is there like a work-study program I could do? like maybe I could start in the library and do some filing.
Or, hey, do you need a personal assistant? I make a mean cup of Joe.
No, I A janitor.
When do I start? You could start now with all that.
Do you want me to just like put it back? Oh, it's tubular! Yes! Who's in this box? Mr.
Wong, your car is getting towed.
I left the hazards on.
He's gone.
You can come out.
Hey, thanks for the save back there.
Oh, uh, my name is Ted.
What's yours? You're welcome.
Oh my god! I just cheated on Ki! I'm a terrible ninja! Ted, your entire floor is yelling at me about some guy acting gross in the study room, so just act like an RA for once in your life and deal with it.
What are you doing here? Get out of my room! I am out of your room.
This is Ted's room.
No, Ted moved in with Brian and Jenny never showed me my room, so I moved into Ted's room.
Why is that so hard for people to understand? Oh, understand.
Tell Ted he's fired and you're his replacement.
What? You can't do that! Actually, as head RA I can do whatever I want probably.
Either way it looks like you found yourself something to do, Ki.
Here.
Been trying to rid of these.
Business cards.
So last year.
Your name is Shane Pizza? That's dumb! Flip it over.
You know, I was voted Petite Elite's hunkiest teen gamer.
Well, look at me now, Wendell! I don't want to.
I just want to study.
You look at me, Wendell.
Excuse me.
Hi.
Law, I think you should go be gross somewhere else now.
Um, okay, so if you could just stop it.
Law, could you, um Well, now how would you feel if someone just You're being very rude.
Law, this is an inappropriate use of the common area and you are disrespecting your fellow students and as newly named RA I demand that you leave.
Oh, you're the RA now! That's right.
How interesting.
Well, we've got to uphold the rules now, Wendell.
We all know how important The Law is around here.
Wow, I have no idea what I ever saw in that guy.
It smells like bananas.
Thanks Ki.
You're welcome, Wendell.
Eat later, Brian.
20 laps before practice.
Come on, Brian.
The janitor will get it.
Theodore Wong, for quenching the thirst of your teammates and risking certain detention in the process, I award you Yeah, way to go, Ted! Clutch, a nice cold Cola for Ted.
I believed in you all along, Ted.
So regale us with your tales of daring due.
Okay, so there I was opening the door to the teacher's lounge and then taking all the sodas and then leaving! Oh, ah any complications? Any arousals? No, uh, never.
I'd never hurt Ki.
Ah, which reminds me.
My key.
The most precious of my items.
Oh, um, it's just.
.
.
It's right over here, DK.
Duchess, you fiend! DK, you're so cute when you're angry.
Cute? Don't lecture me about cute when your game has a banana on the cover and any time someone gets hit they go "ow-wow-wow!" We're not getting into this again! Enjoy your high horse.
We'll, enjoy our sodas.
Carters, let's boost.
I'm the best! Thanks for last night, hot lips.
Come by for a drink sometime.
Theodore! I'm not sure what sort of modern arrangements you and Ki have, but you have hurt me more deeply than you can ever imagine.
DK, I.
.
.
I always hated you, Ted.
My first suggestion! Oh, it's a complaint.
Watching you play now makes me want to throw up.
Yes, ma'am.
Sorry.
You can do this.
Don't think about food.
Don't think about food.
Just don't think about food.
What is happening? Brian, get it together! Coach, I gotta pee! No! No! Please! Come on, I'm so hungry.
Eat me.
Eat me.
Eat me.
Brian, is that jelly on your shirt? Yes.
Get out of my practice.
Wait, coach! And you know what? Don't come to my practice tomorrow either.
You want to say anything else? So hypothetically, if the Duchess of Cart wanted to kiss me and I didn't want to kiss her and I didn't like it, would you be mad? No.
As long as you were honest with me about it.
Thanks Ki.
You're awesome.
Hey Ted.
You've got a thing on the thing.
What is this? I'm getting evicted? This can't be happening! I'm gonna lose Brian.
Brian, are you here?! Everything is fine.
This was a joke.
I made it and it was funny.
That's so not funny.
How could you even think about separating me and Brian? We're more than just Brian and Ted.
We're "Bread!" Or "Triano"! Or "Bread.
" And you can't separate slices of bread unless you put lettuce or meat in between, but then you get a sandwich, Ki.
And nothing can stop a sandwich from getting the key back from The Duchess as long as that sandwich is named me and Brian.
By the way, Brian, I need your help with something.
I'll get a shirt.
Let's go! Thanks for the pep talk, Ki! Good luck, boys! You.
Me.
It's so hot in there.
Teddy Bear! You here for that drink? No way, Dork-chess! I'm here for DK's key.
And I brought back up! Oh, yeah, he's tough.
He's tougher than all seven of you.
Hi.
You're on, Theodore, but we're taking this rumble to the streets of Banana Cart battle mode.
Nice.
I win,I get the key back.
I win, you join my team.
Ted, this is crazy! There's no way we can beat them.
Plus, it wasn't even fault.
It doesn't matter.
I let my team down.
I gotta make that right.
No matter the cost.
You got my back? Let's cart.
Dangit! And that brings us finally to Article G, Section II, Ted showers twice a day to stop him from being so smelly.
Great.
I think that's everything.
Ok.
Sign there and Ted becomes your new roommate.
Thanks a lot, Ki.
I know these negotiations have been a little tough, and you're sticking your neck out for me and not many people are willing to do that these days.
So I just wanted to say that I appreciate it.
Glad I could help.
I'm just trying to do my job.
Sure.
"Fart noises"? But, hours of negotiation?! You got everything you wanted.
Why are you doing this?! To make your life miserable! And now you're gonna have to explain to your two miserable friends that they can't be roommates anymore.
Because Ki Swan RA stands for "Ki Swan 'Really Awful' at being an RA.
" Now, get out of my room.
I'm gonna need a bigger box.
Brian, split! Yes! Yes! Ha! Ha! Hi Law.
This is Ted's favorite pizza.
Double wasabanero.
He was saving the leftovers.
Go on.
Brian hates it when you borrow his shampoo.
And, uh, spray it all over his bed.
You really shouldn't have done this, Law.
This is Brian and Ted's favorite photo.
Come on.
You really want Ted to leave and miss out on the chance to make them miserable every single day? You're right, Ki.
This place is a canvas.
Let's get painting! Ok! Bomb? Wait.
I'm sorry.
Come on.
Start! Start! Ted.
Team Bread! Idiot! We play this game everyday! Woah! What a rush.
I feel like a new man! Uh, boy! Ted is going to be extra upset when I have you evict him.
Alright.
Fine.
Ted can stay.
Complaint resolved.
Resolved by punching me in the face.
And then out of nowhere it was like "cheeew-bur-bur" and I was like "Oh, no! I'm gonna die!" And Brian was like "No way, bro.
I'm dyin' for you!" And, yeah ,then, we won later.
It was awesome.
Here's your key.
Theodore, I'm impressed.
Brian, ditto.
Have some sodas.
Yeah! Oh, cool! I'm off.
Dude, soda party in our room? I.
.
.
you know what, man? Have mine.
I've got somewhere I gotta be.
Okay.
Law! What did you do to my room?! Our room, Ted! What did I do to our room? This isn't your room! Get out! Oh, don't you like how it smells now? That's my pizza! My books! They're ruined! Oh, um, sorry coach.
Figured I'd get my own practice in early.
It's, uh, whole grain bagels and hummus for the team.
Um, listen, coach, about yesterday.
.
.
I'm sorry.
No excuses.
Brian, sit your ass down.
Well, actually, I've been awake for like 24 hours.
Brian! Ok!
I hope you know you're cleaning that up, Lawrence.
Unless you want another reason to be suspended.
Anywho, we're off for a quick jaunt around the racquetball court.
Don't wait up.
Law, did you hear me? I said we're getting snacks.
Do you want snacks? Well, bye.
Jenny! Hi! So you know how I'm undeclared right now? Well, I was thinking that I'd shadow a fiest That is so awesome! I can't wait to see you there.
Hey gals.
Let's do it! Is something burning? I can't believe she's making us practice through brunch.
Yeah.
Jenny, tell your mom my stomach said, "Hey this is your stomach Jumpin' Jax and now you're hungry so tell Jenny!" Yeah, I'll be sure to pass that along, but in the meantime, what do I do with these donuts? Aw, donuts! Sweet! Sorry.
Here? Drop those donuts, sugarplums! Behold the Mary Matrix diet.
That's right.
Healthy food forever.
Every time you stuff those little faces with junk food, you're missing out on Thorine, Omega-3, and antioxidants.
It's killing your reaction time.
Observe.
Fit bodies.
Fit minds.
Which reminds me, 30 laps around the quad before lunch.
But we're starving! Get a move on! Go! Go! Go! Go! Brian, stay! So how is it living with Law? Actually, I'm glad that you asked.
Um, not too hot.
Well, actually it is too hot because he set fire to my room.
Really? He sounds miserable.
Good work, kid Yeah, I guess.
Wait, that's why you made him my roommate? I knew that living with you would remind him of what a failure he is.
Between you and me he is the worst guy that Jenny ever dated.
Between you and me, well, he set fire to my room.
Are you just being cute or are you talking back to me? Better go run laps now.
Which brings us to the crux of the query.
How fast should car A's speed be going into turn 7? Yo! Pick me! Pick me! I'm awesome! Theodore, the court is yours.
Given his entry line, he should be going 55 MPH You're an idiot! How about 48 MPH Bravo, Clutch! 300 yards! Soda star! You have passed the soda star.
Aww man! There's no pop! The fizzy river runs dry? Something's amiss! Where are Piston and Domino Prime? Piston! And you, Domino Prime! What happened? The duchess! She and her cart goons knew of our plan to raid the teacher's lounge.
They ambushed us and took the soda, but we have the key.
For this I am glad, but, alas, The Duchess of Cart has rendered us sodaless! Our throats shall remain parched for a week! Perhaps even two! Truly this our darkest hour.
I'll get the sodas! I can do it, DK! I was born to.
Fat chance, Dingus.
Those shroomed up cart sharks will eat you alive! Perhaps, child.
This may be Theodore's chance to prove his quality.
Drift like the wind, little one.
You carry the fate of us all.
They're both red and healthy.
Just pick one, kid.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Wait, what? Brian D! Get your ass to my office, double time! Next! So Allison, you're losing! That's nice.
Hey quick cue, do you know of any brasseries that do last minute lunch trousies.
I could really crush a good wine and cheese after you give me those Sorry, Shane, the only thing on the menu is a flank steak.
Oh.
Is that you flanking me or are you just trying to make the whole food joke thing work? Either way I am winning.
About those two G's could you just type them in for me? G for "good.
" And now G for "game.
" Come on, alligator.
Give me the game.
Give me the game.
Actually, his planes can't refuel, so if you regroup to the mountains in the south.
Okay, guys, who's the nerd? Ki Swan, 1,500 points, ex-rhythm gamer.
I have been shadowing classes all day long, and I have to say that RTS is the first one that has really spoken to me, which is why I'm speaking now, and I would be honored to tryout for your team.
I don't know, Ki.
Are you cool? I never thought so, no.
It's not cool to tell the truth, but we'll give it to the floor.
Buy or sell? She doesn't even wear a suit! She looks like a square.
She's nice once you get to know her.
She talks about herself in the third person.
Sell this turkey! Sorry, Ki.
Go suck somewhere else.
Nothing better than that fourth taco, ya feel me? You lost your scholarship.
After The Law's fiasco, the NEA pulled The Golden Gun grant, so Well, here.
I have no money, so is there like a work-study program I could do? like maybe I could start in the library and do some filing.
Or, hey, do you need a personal assistant? I make a mean cup of Joe.
No, I A janitor.
When do I start? You could start now with all that.
Do you want me to just like put it back? Oh, it's tubular! Yes! Who's in this box? Mr.
Wong, your car is getting towed.
I left the hazards on.
He's gone.
You can come out.
Hey, thanks for the save back there.
Oh, uh, my name is Ted.
What's yours? You're welcome.
Oh my god! I just cheated on Ki! I'm a terrible ninja! Ted, your entire floor is yelling at me about some guy acting gross in the study room, so just act like an RA for once in your life and deal with it.
What are you doing here? Get out of my room! I am out of your room.
This is Ted's room.
No, Ted moved in with Brian and Jenny never showed me my room, so I moved into Ted's room.
Why is that so hard for people to understand? Oh, understand.
Tell Ted he's fired and you're his replacement.
What? You can't do that! Actually, as head RA I can do whatever I want probably.
Either way it looks like you found yourself something to do, Ki.
Here.
Been trying to rid of these.
Business cards.
So last year.
Your name is Shane Pizza? That's dumb! Flip it over.
You know, I was voted Petite Elite's hunkiest teen gamer.
Well, look at me now, Wendell! I don't want to.
I just want to study.
You look at me, Wendell.
Excuse me.
Hi.
Law, I think you should go be gross somewhere else now.
Um, okay, so if you could just stop it.
Law, could you, um Well, now how would you feel if someone just You're being very rude.
Law, this is an inappropriate use of the common area and you are disrespecting your fellow students and as newly named RA I demand that you leave.
Oh, you're the RA now! That's right.
How interesting.
Well, we've got to uphold the rules now, Wendell.
We all know how important The Law is around here.
Wow, I have no idea what I ever saw in that guy.
It smells like bananas.
Thanks Ki.
You're welcome, Wendell.
Eat later, Brian.
20 laps before practice.
Come on, Brian.
The janitor will get it.
Theodore Wong, for quenching the thirst of your teammates and risking certain detention in the process, I award you Yeah, way to go, Ted! Clutch, a nice cold Cola for Ted.
I believed in you all along, Ted.
So regale us with your tales of daring due.
Okay, so there I was opening the door to the teacher's lounge and then taking all the sodas and then leaving! Oh, ah any complications? Any arousals? No, uh, never.
I'd never hurt Ki.
Ah, which reminds me.
My key.
The most precious of my items.
Oh, um, it's just.
.
.
It's right over here, DK.
Duchess, you fiend! DK, you're so cute when you're angry.
Cute? Don't lecture me about cute when your game has a banana on the cover and any time someone gets hit they go "ow-wow-wow!" We're not getting into this again! Enjoy your high horse.
We'll, enjoy our sodas.
Carters, let's boost.
I'm the best! Thanks for last night, hot lips.
Come by for a drink sometime.
Theodore! I'm not sure what sort of modern arrangements you and Ki have, but you have hurt me more deeply than you can ever imagine.
DK, I.
.
.
I always hated you, Ted.
My first suggestion! Oh, it's a complaint.
Watching you play now makes me want to throw up.
Yes, ma'am.
Sorry.
You can do this.
Don't think about food.
Don't think about food.
Just don't think about food.
What is happening? Brian, get it together! Coach, I gotta pee! No! No! Please! Come on, I'm so hungry.
Eat me.
Eat me.
Eat me.
Brian, is that jelly on your shirt? Yes.
Get out of my practice.
Wait, coach! And you know what? Don't come to my practice tomorrow either.
You want to say anything else? So hypothetically, if the Duchess of Cart wanted to kiss me and I didn't want to kiss her and I didn't like it, would you be mad? No.
As long as you were honest with me about it.
Thanks Ki.
You're awesome.
Hey Ted.
You've got a thing on the thing.
What is this? I'm getting evicted? This can't be happening! I'm gonna lose Brian.
Brian, are you here?! Everything is fine.
This was a joke.
I made it and it was funny.
That's so not funny.
How could you even think about separating me and Brian? We're more than just Brian and Ted.
We're "Bread!" Or "Triano"! Or "Bread.
" And you can't separate slices of bread unless you put lettuce or meat in between, but then you get a sandwich, Ki.
And nothing can stop a sandwich from getting the key back from The Duchess as long as that sandwich is named me and Brian.
By the way, Brian, I need your help with something.
I'll get a shirt.
Let's go! Thanks for the pep talk, Ki! Good luck, boys! You.
Me.
It's so hot in there.
Teddy Bear! You here for that drink? No way, Dork-chess! I'm here for DK's key.
And I brought back up! Oh, yeah, he's tough.
He's tougher than all seven of you.
Hi.
You're on, Theodore, but we're taking this rumble to the streets of Banana Cart battle mode.
Nice.
I win,I get the key back.
I win, you join my team.
Ted, this is crazy! There's no way we can beat them.
Plus, it wasn't even fault.
It doesn't matter.
I let my team down.
I gotta make that right.
No matter the cost.
You got my back? Let's cart.
Dangit! And that brings us finally to Article G, Section II, Ted showers twice a day to stop him from being so smelly.
Great.
I think that's everything.
Ok.
Sign there and Ted becomes your new roommate.
Thanks a lot, Ki.
I know these negotiations have been a little tough, and you're sticking your neck out for me and not many people are willing to do that these days.
So I just wanted to say that I appreciate it.
Glad I could help.
I'm just trying to do my job.
Sure.
"Fart noises"? But, hours of negotiation?! You got everything you wanted.
Why are you doing this?! To make your life miserable! And now you're gonna have to explain to your two miserable friends that they can't be roommates anymore.
Because Ki Swan RA stands for "Ki Swan 'Really Awful' at being an RA.
" Now, get out of my room.
I'm gonna need a bigger box.
Brian, split! Yes! Yes! Ha! Ha! Hi Law.
This is Ted's favorite pizza.
Double wasabanero.
He was saving the leftovers.
Go on.
Brian hates it when you borrow his shampoo.
And, uh, spray it all over his bed.
You really shouldn't have done this, Law.
This is Brian and Ted's favorite photo.
Come on.
You really want Ted to leave and miss out on the chance to make them miserable every single day? You're right, Ki.
This place is a canvas.
Let's get painting! Ok! Bomb? Wait.
I'm sorry.
Come on.
Start! Start! Ted.
Team Bread! Idiot! We play this game everyday! Woah! What a rush.
I feel like a new man! Uh, boy! Ted is going to be extra upset when I have you evict him.
Alright.
Fine.
Ted can stay.
Complaint resolved.
Resolved by punching me in the face.
And then out of nowhere it was like "cheeew-bur-bur" and I was like "Oh, no! I'm gonna die!" And Brian was like "No way, bro.
I'm dyin' for you!" And, yeah ,then, we won later.
It was awesome.
Here's your key.
Theodore, I'm impressed.
Brian, ditto.
Have some sodas.
Yeah! Oh, cool! I'm off.
Dude, soda party in our room? I.
.
.
you know what, man? Have mine.
I've got somewhere I gotta be.
Okay.
Law! What did you do to my room?! Our room, Ted! What did I do to our room? This isn't your room! Get out! Oh, don't you like how it smells now? That's my pizza! My books! They're ruined! Oh, um, sorry coach.
Figured I'd get my own practice in early.
It's, uh, whole grain bagels and hummus for the team.
Um, listen, coach, about yesterday.
.
.
I'm sorry.
No excuses.
Brian, sit your ass down.
Well, actually, I've been awake for like 24 hours.
Brian! Ok!