What About Brian (2006) s02e02 Episode Script

Previously on "What About Brian" So you're sleeping in separate rooms.
How long has this been going on? Uh, we really didn't think it was gonna - Last that long.
- Yeah.
It's no problem.
'Cause obviously there's something missing for you.
The problem is you cannot forgive me.
I mean, I truly love this woman.
Wait.
We're getting married in four days in front of 200 people and God and everyone.
What About Brian? The wedding's October 16th October 17th, I'll go home.
Oh, my God.
Hi.
Oh, they're gonna scream at you.
- I know about you and Marjorie.
- No, it was a mistake.
Those feelings are gone.
I don't have them anymore.
I came back because I want to make things right.
What's going on? You've been talking about second chances.
What? What? - Tell me.
- Nothing.
Nothing.
No, you were saying something.
It's just, um You don't know how long I've wanted to do this.
I mean, it's a complete disaster, Brian.
Well, why'd you bring her if she has such a big head? That's my whole point.
I didn't know she had a big head.
Adam, come on.
Her head is huge.
It's the first thing you notice.
She was sitting down when I first met her.
I thought she was tall.
If she were taller, her head would actually be in proportion.
- That makes absolutely no sense.
- That's what I thought, you know? So I asked her out, and then when she stood up, she was really short with this abnormally large head.
- She's Mr.
Potato head.
- Yup.
Mr.
Potato head.
Thank god you're here.
I mean this is the worst night ever.
I hate new year's Eve.
All this expectation, all this pressure to have fun.
And same with Halloween I mean, what's fun about that? Hey, Jimmy.
Wow.
Who is she? I don't know, but I'm gonna go talk to her.
Whoa.
What about me? You can't leave me here with Mr.
Potato head.
Sure, I can.
Wait.
Do I have to kiss her? It is new year's.
But she has really small lips.
You know, maybe you can switch them out for the bigger ones, like the real Mr.
Potato head.
That's really hilarious.
I can't do this.
I can't.
We can't.
You're getting married tomorrow.
I can't do this.
Not to Adam.
He's my best friend.
I've known him since third grade.
Little league together.
Summer camp.
I never should've come.
- No, Marjorie, wait a second.
- No, I have to go.
I'm so sorry, Brian.
I'm sorry.
I have so much to clean up before the wedding.
- You know what? - What? - I had an idea.
- Yeah? Yeah, I was thinking maybe we could go downstairs and play some cards.
- Cards? - Yeah.
- Honey, are you serious? - Yeah.
You know, play a little gin rummy like we used to do.
Honey, I have got all of this stuff to clean up, and I've still got to get ready for the wedding, and let's face it it doesn't take five minutes anymore like it used to, know what I mean? Yeah.
What? Just thought it would be good for us.
That's all.
We never get a chance to just be together and chill, just you and me.
We have three kids, honey.
Nobody chills with three kids.
It's not about the girls, Deena.
All right, I'm trying, hon.
I'm trying.
You gotta meet me halfway.
Okay, you know what? Uh, I'll I'll Give me a few minutes.
I'll get all this taken care of.
I'll make up my bed with the girls, and then I I just thought I should sleep with the girls tonight, honey, in case they we scared.
Look, I know the storage room isn't exactly the four seasons.
It's barely one season.
But, uh, you know, I was thinking that maybe you and I could fit in there together if we tried.
You know, it'd sort of be like our first apartment only bigger.
You know what? Forget about it.
I'm sorry.
You're right.
You should be with the girls, 'cause they're gonna They're gonna be afraid after last night.
They'll probably have fire nightmares, and Right.
Look, um, I gotta go.
I gotta get to the office.
I got a meeting with Leviathan in a few hours.
On a Saturday? They want to go over some things before Monday.
And when are you coming back? I have to meet Adam after for some best man stuff, so I'll probably just meet you there at the wedding.
Wow.
Okay.
I'll see you at the wedding.
Home is where the heartbreak wraps cold around my bones.
Forgives me if I promise to forget what I have known Oh, My God! What are you doing here? You're not supposed to see me before the wedding.
It's bad luck.
Yeah, well, I don't actually believe in that stuff.
Well, I do.
Look at my toast.
Want me to make you something for breakfast? Something other than toast? Is everything okay? You're acting kind of weird.
Maybe it's because I didn't get any sleep last night.
Did you have a little too much fun at the strip club? You know, I don't really want to talk about the strip club right now.
What I want to talk about is you kissing Brian.
Adam, I can I can explain this, I swear.
I don't think you can.
I can't believe you would actually do something like this.
I- I thought we were different.
We spent all this time together, and to find something like this out the night before our wedding When did it even happen? It was, like It was, like, eight months ago.
So you've kept this from me for 8 months.
Well, that's the whole point, okay? It was a long time ago.
I'd just found out about the pact, and And And I was mad at you, and I was drunk - So why didn't you just tell me? - Because it didn't mean anything.
And 'cause I didn't want to upset your friendship with Brian.
So you lied to me.
You and Brian both lied to me.
I-I made a mistake, okay? I'm sorry.
Is there anything else I need to know about? Any other secrets? There's nothing else, I swear.
Yeah.
This is more than enough for one day, right? The farmers market has the best samples.
I've actually eaten lunch here All samples.
Sample? If I were homeless, I'd just hang out here all day.
Ugh.
I never eat 'em.
I don't want to pretend that I have to buy them.
Wait.
You don't have to pretend, you know.
They don't really care.
They just want to clear their trays and go home.
Oh, this place has the best hot dogs.
Angelo's crazy for them.
He eats them with a fork and knife.
It's not very American, but I think I'm gonna get a bunch for tomorrow.
Kind of thought this thing was supposed to be a post-wedding bash for Adam and Marjorie.
Whatever.
It is.
But my husband's finally coming home for a weekend, and I'm excited, so cut me so slack, okay? You should see these e-mails he's been sending me.
Whoo! - Sure it's not just spam? - Oh, funny.
Oh, crap.
I knew it.
I knew I was jinxing it.
It's Angelo.
He should've been on the plane by now.
Amore What? Oh, come on.
Okay.
I gotta go.
I gotta go.
He isn't coming, is he? He has to work on his stupid movie.
The guy gets one role, and suddenly he's the Brad Pitt of Italy.
Wait, honey! Nic, wait up.
Would you look at this, Brian? Look at this beautifulness behind you right now.
Two years of blood, sweat and tears.
I mean, we had 70 people working for us, man.
All those late-night sessions and the crappy pizza, and in a few weeks, it's gonna be a reality, my man An actual game that you can go and buy.
It's unbelievable to me.
Who knew when you pitched me that stupid idea about a dragon, it would turn into this, huh? You're not paying attention to me, are you? Marjorie came over last night.
- Marjorie who? - We didn't have sex.
Why did you just say, "we didn't have sex" like you could have had sex? Because we could have, but I stopped.
When? When did you stop it? Did you stop it when she got there? When she had a little glass of water or after a little, uh, you know? - Brian? - What should I do? You know what? Don't ask me.
Okay, 'cause this is crazy.
This is crazy right now.
I'm not getting in the middle of it.
I love Adam.
I love you both.
But I-I-I just I gotta stay out of it.
Dave, she came over to my house in the middle of the night The night before her wedding.
And then Adam disappears with some stripper? Yeah, it's not the most promising start to a marriage.
Right! I should talk to her.
No.
Isn't it better for me to do something before it's 10 years down the road with You know, and then they're married and unhappy with with 3 kids and everything? - Dave - No.
No.
Seriously.
No more "Dave.
" No more questions.
Dave's staying out of it.
But if you weren't gonna stay out of it, and you were just looking at the pure facts hypothetically - Hypothetically? - Hypothetically.
If you are asking me if I would choose a bad marriage for one friend or absolute true love for the other friend, then obviously I'm gonna pick true love, Brian, in a perfect world.
- Where you going? - I'm going to get her.
No, no, no.
That's not what I meant.
This isn't a perfect world.
Adam's at the hotel.
Marjorie's by herself.
I've gotta go over there.
You can't do that, not to your best friend.
You didn't factor him into the equation.
I can't think about Adam right now.
I mean, I love Adam, but I can't think about Adam right now.
Knock, knock.
Hi.
- Sorry.
Am I interrupting something? - Nothing.
- I gotta go.
- What about the meeting? Dave can handle it.
No, Dave can't handle it, Brian.
Brian! Brian, would you just stay for the meeting? What, are you afraid to be alone with me? No.
Not at all.
It's a long story.
- Sorry.
- Sorry.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Happy new year.
- Yeah, you, too.
- I-I'm Brian.
- I'm Marjorie.
Sorry.
I was in the bathroom.
My my hands are wet W-with water from washing my hands.
No paper towels.
Don't worry about it.
You know, I'm just glad that you wash your hands.
Not enough people do.
That's how you get sick.
- You sound like a doctor.
- I am.
- Well, going to be.
- Wow.
Impressive.
You know, this may sound really weird, and I'm pretty sure I've never said this before, but - Your dress is really amazing.
- Oh, thank you.
Yeah, the invitation said "festive attire.
" I just - I never know what that means.
- Yeah, what is that? It always makes me think I'm supposed to wear a sombrero or a poncho or something.
- You have a sombrero? - I do, in fact.
I have a sombrero.
Really? Yeah, I love Mexican food.
I'm kind of an aficionado.
I like to wear the appropriate gear.
Well, I happen to know the best place in town where you can get taquitos.
No, you don't.
I do.
I'm sorry.
Loteria's at the farmers market.
Okay.
Well, um Maybe I'll I'll see you there sometime.
Yeah, maybe.
- I'll see you around.
- Yeah.
What do you want? - You're so dead.
You're so dead.
- Bring it.
- Bring it.
Bring it.
- Oh, no! No! - Oh, you little creep! - There you go.
In all fairness, I do have you by several hundred hours.
- Dave? - Yeah? You think it's incredible enough to actually market and publicize? Listen, Dave.
My bosses at Leviathan are gonna love it just as much as I do.
We've been looking to publish a game like this for years.
Yours is actually the third one we've tried to develop.
Yeah.
You know, this is all kind of bittersweet for me.
- What is? - This ending.
Once we approve the game, it goes off to the marketing people, and I'm just I'm just gonna miss seeing you, you know? - I'm gonna miss this.
- I'm sure we'll work together again.
I mean, you publish video games, and we are video game makers.
It's like a match made in heaven.
I think so, too.
Do you ever think about that night? Yeah.
I know we said it could only happen one time, but I really wish we could Me, too.
I think you're amazing.
Thank you.
But you know that, right? Not really.
I think about you all the time.
- What are you doing here? - Nothing.
I just came by to see if you guys needed anything.
Hey, Adam? They found your cuff link.
What's going on, Brian? What are you doing here? Yeah, Brian, what are you doing here? I just told you.
What, you came here to see Marjorie? And you didn't think I would be here.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Pardon me.
Excuse me.
Brian.
Brian.
What do you have to say, Brian? - Nothing.
I'm just gonna go.
- No, why did you come up here? Look, I already told you.
I was just trying to see - Brian, you should just leave, okay? - Please don't touch him.
- Adam, please.
- Come on, be a man, Brian.
- Say what you came up here to say.
- What'd you say? You have two choices.
You can run away like you always do, or you can tell me why the hell you are here.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
You guys shouldn't get married.
Adam, stop it! Brian, you need to leave.
Get out.
- Is this what you want? - Get the hell out of my house! I think nothings broken I'm gonna get you some ibuprofen.
- Are you okay? - Yeah.
- Are we okay? - Yeah.
Ah I want to erase everything.
I just want to restart this whole day right now.
We're getting married today.
Yes, we are.
This is the beginning Right now.
This moment.
It will shine, dear just like the golden ring on your finger I looked so silly on my wedding day.
I put all those little braids in my hair and those flowers.
I don't know what I was thinking.
You looked sweet, like a little hippie bride.
- How old were you, anyway 16? - 20.
Dave looked so handsome.
He he was wearing this little suit, and I'd never seen him in a suit before, and I just kept thinking about I wanted to jump him in front of all those people and God and You know.
I felt the same way about Angelo.
- Don't ask me why.
- You need to call him.
Does your veil have a comb or a tiara? I actually don't have a veil.
What? You loved your veil.
Where is it? - Yeah, it was gorgeous.
- I know.
They got backed up at the shop.
I guess everybody wanted the ivory headpiece with the crystals.
That's not right.
You have to have a veil.
You know, I had so much to care of.
- I just couldn't fight with her.
- You can't, but I can.
I will get you that veil if I have to strangle that seamstress with my freshly manicured hands.
I'll just pretend it's Angelo.
I don't know why you just didn't get pre-tied bow ties.
They make life easier on everybody.
I'm not wearing a clip-on tie to my wedding.
- What do I look like, a dork? - That's what I wore.
- Yeah, and you looked like a dork.
- Oh, I looked good.
Ask Deena.
She talks about it all the time.
In fact, we wound up doing it in the bathroom at the reception hall.
- Nice.
- Yeah.
Let me try this again.
A little bit of quiet so I can concentrate.
I never realized you had a fleck in your right eye.
You have nice eyes, Dave.
Yeah.
Are you gonna sweet-talk me all day, or are you gonna kiss me? Speaking of kissing, how did, uh last night go with You know, Summer? - Nothing.
- Nothing? Dude, her name was Summer.
I dated an autumn once.
I still haven't fully recovered.
Yeah, nothing happened.
I'm sure something could've, but nothing did.
Huh.
That surprises me.
She was all over you.
Well, you know, the more I thought about it, the more it didn't make any sense.
You know, I could have slept with her, and no one would have known, but I would know.
You know, Marjorie told me to go out and have a good time, and she said, "I trust you.
" And that's all I kept hearing when I was with Summer Marjorie saying she trusted me.
Hmm.
Trust.
That's what it's all about, right? It's all about.
Are you okay, honey? You haven't really said much.
Has something happened? I went to see Brian last night.
No.
You did not.
I did.
I did.
I mean, nothing happened Something happened, but really nothing.
It I wanted it to.
Oh, wait.
What are you saying? You don't want to get married today? I don't know.
I don't know what I'm saying.
I'm confused.
Okay.
Breathe.
Now just Just talk to me.
I just felt like I was gonna drown if I didn't take that last chance to be with Brian, you know? And then I was relieved when he stopped it, and then and then there's this other part of me that felt horrible, you know, because I wished that he wouldn't.
Okay, don't.
Whoa.
Do not do that to yourself.
- You said nothing happened.
- I know.
I know.
I love Adam.
I love him.
I just I'm just so scared of everything, you know? I mean, what if I don't love him in 7 years? What if we fail? What if I'm still thinking of Brian? Well, maybe you will still think about Brian.
Maybe it'll be somebody else.
I don't know.
That's just life, you know? That doesn't mean you shouldn't marry Adam.
How do you know that? Because you do.
Getting married is just taking a leap A huge leap into the unknown, you know believing in yourself and Adam and the human race.
And if you're asking me if I think you should walk down that aisle today, I'd say yes.
Yes, you should.
You'll never regret it.
I never have.
I never will, no matter what happens with me and Dave.
- Okay? - Okay.
Hey, Bri! I'm here to pick you up.
I know I'm early, but we have to make a stop on the way.
I need to talk to a seamstress.
Whatever.
Anyway, we can't be late, so let's go.
Hurry, hurry.
When you get your own car, you could be on your schedule.
Did you get in a fight with the TV? I kicked it.
What, you couldn't find anything to watch? I got in a fight with Adam.
- What happened? I don't even know where to start.
I'm in love with Marjorie.
It's as simple as that.
Oh, Brian.
She came over last night.
Oh, My God.
- What happened? - Nothing.
I told her to leave.
Exactly.
Nothing, because that's who you are.
Do you know that this is your entire relationship with Adam? You always have to be the nice guy.
- That is not true.
- Yes, it is.
You don't want to hurt anyone, so you don't act until it's too late, because that's what you do.
You know, I have to go.
Oh, there you are.
Thank god.
Hey, I was just gonna come look for you.
I'm cutting out.
- Oh, no, you can't leave.
- No, I'm going.
No, no, please.
I need a favor.
I actually need you to take Lucy off my hands for a little while.
I kind of got something else going on.
Who's Lucy? - Mr.
Potato head? - Oh, come on.
That's not fair.
She's actually a lovely person with a beautiful spirit who needs a ride home.
- Mr.
Potato head? - Please don't make me beg.
Come on.
Don't we always have each other's backs? Sorry Look, no.
I've been drinking.
I can't drive.
Done.
Cab fare for the both of you.
Keep the rest and get drunk.
I owe you.
Jason, right? No, it's Philip.
So, listen, Philip.
I need to borrow your car.
- Do I know you? - We're neighbors.
Well, where's your car? I totaled it, but it wasn't my fault.
No, you may not borrow my car.
Listen, Philip, this is an emergency Life or death, practically.
I'll have it back as soon as I can.
- The answer is no.
- Philip, I'm begging you.
There's a girl.
She's getting married to my best friend, and it shouldn't be happening.
I never should have let it get this far.
I'm through with him walking all over me.
I mean, sure, we always have each other's backs, but he always has his own back first.
He's Adam.
That's the difference.
And you know what? It's my turn now.
Can you understand that, Philip? Do you know what it's like to always come in second, to have people push you around all the time? Well, kind of.
Well, I'm putting an end to it right here, for the both of us.
- Thanks.
- Well, wait, though.
If I let you take my car, aren't I just letting you walk all over me? No, no.
And I'll explain why the minute I get back.
Thank you so much.
Wait, my groceries! I'm having a dinner party! I've got a timebomb in my mind, mom I hear it ticking, but I don't know why I call the police, but they don't like me I hear 'em whispering when I walk on by Nice! Come on! Thanks a lot, you moron! I see you! I see you! I happen to have a lot of connections to the media.
Do you want it out that this bridal shop's inability to follow through actually ruined somebody's wedding? We oversold.
There was no way to have your friend's ready in time.
Well, are you familiar with the expression, "there's no such thing as bad publicity"? Well, it's not true.
There can be very, very bad publicity.
I called her three times.
She never called back.
You can take one of these other ones.
We don't want one of these.
We want the one that she ordered.
Everything's going wrong today.
Look.
I wore a veil on my wedding day, and it fell off during my first dance, and I never put it back on.
And now when I look at those pictures, and I see the ones after the veil fell, it's like a different day.
When you wear a veil, you're a bride.
If not you're just a girl in a white dress.
I want my friend to be a bride.
- Do we understand each other? - Yes.
Could we please have an ivory headdress with crystal up here? Thank you! Thank you! Hey, Dave.
You know, thanks for being my best man.
I Of course, man.
You know, friendship It really means a lot to me.
Yeah, I know it does, man.
Me, too.
Oh, hey, look.
I got you something.
- You didn't have to do that.
- Shut up.
- Adam, come on.
- Come on, open it up.
All right, all right.
I'll open it up.
I get all nervous with the gifts.
- Oh, you gotta be kidding me.
- You like it? Of course I like it, man.
It's beautiful.
All right, then.
- I can't take this.
- Oh, come on.
Don't be such a girl.
- No, man.
This is for Brian.
- I got it for my best man.
You're my best man.
I love it, man.
Thanks.
Yeah, hey, look, I couldn't have done this without you.
Thank you.
You know, yeah, I really appreciate it.
Yeah, man.
you two better cut that out, or I'm gonna start spreading rumors.
Well, you know, more rumors.
Jimmy! Where you been? I was out back sampling the goods.
What's up, Dave? Hey, Jimmy.
Mm.
That's a That's a nice watch.
Yeah.
- You give him that watch? - Yeah.
You give me a fake silver-plated box with my initials on it, and you give him this sweet watch? I like him more.
You didn't even wrap it, man.
You know what? Let's hit the bar.
Come on.
All right.
Girl! I think I love you you gotta be kidding me.
Why won't you answer to your name? You've gotta be kidding me! Yeah, girl Why don't you answer to your name? They say your name is Jane and you make me feel ashamed for such a sweet girl like you Oh, you're telling me lies Thank you so much, Nic.
I hope it wasn't too much trouble.
- You feel like a bride now, right? - I really do.
You sure you don't want someone to walk you down the aisle? No.
I wanna do it on my own.
Okay.
All right, beautiful girls.
Beautiful girls.
- This is it.
- This is it, babe.
Now just remember.
Walk slow.
That's right.
"Walk slow" is good advice.
The tree in the front of the yard is starting to grow Now that we've trimmed away the leaves Now look at it go and that's just how I feel when you started to reveal all the things I thought I lost and the hard time I concealed and that's just how I know how felt that silly glow how I felt that bitter cold and no, I'm not going home sometimes you just wouldn't dare sometimes you can't go home sometimes you're already there when I look at you, I'm there I'm not going home I am already there not going home No, I'm not, no Brian, what are you doing here? I came to say what I should have said before.
What? You can't marry Adam because I want you to marry me.
- Brian - I should have told Adam no.
- What? - I made a mistake, but it's not too late.
Yes, it is, Brian.
No.
Y-you don't want to do this.
You can't do this.
This is what I want.
This if you love me, then you need to let me go.
Okay? Just please let me go.
Good-bye, Brian.
Oh, she's gone.
Hey, Bri, wait up! I really appreciate this, you know? Happy new year.
Uh, and you know I was talking to that girl, Marjorie.
I hope it's okay.
Yeah, it's cool.
It's probably nothing, but, you know, I just wanted you to know.
Yeah, it's probably nothing.
No big deal.
Hey, no, 'cause you're my best friend.
You always have been, and you know the rules Never let a girl come between us, right? Okay.
Happy new year.